Back to Chapter 07
Chapter 8 - A suicide
Ruthie looked at herself in the mirror for a few minutes admiring how
she looked in her new dress. She felt a tingle of excitement at the
thought of having just worn such a revealing outfit in downtown Santa
Cruz, but she felt even more excited at the thought that she now
actually owned this dress and could wear it whenever she pleased. She
spun around and the back lifted up, exposing her bottom. She giggled,
realizing that she would have to keep that in mind when outside, to not
turn around too quickly, or at least not when she could get in trouble.
A naughty thought came to mind; the she could tease Mike by spinning
around and flashing her bare bottom every so often.
The morality prudes would be offended at the sight of her in that dress.
Satisfaction welled up inside her at the thought of bothering people
that she hated. Undoubtedly someone would try to have her arrested for
wearing so little, but she could argue that the dress was something she
had bought in a clothing store and thus it had to be legal. Besides, the
clothing restrictions at Davenport State University were among the most
relaxed at any university in the US. Women were allowed to go to the
main pool in thong-style swimsuits and topless sunbathing was permitted
in some areas around campus, although not many students took advantage
of that privilege. Given the relaxed atmosphere of Davenport, Ruthie
would not be putting herself at risk nearly as much as she would if she
tried wearing the dress in a place like Salinas.
Ruthie took off her new dress and hung it in her closet. She put a towel
around herself, grabbed her shower stuff and stepped into the hallway.
She would have not bothered to wrap the towel around her body, but at
the beginning of the semester the RA had reprimanded her for being naked
in the hallway and there had been a couple of disapproving comments from
other women on the floor. That had been one disappointment out of
several, because she had heard that a couple of decades before it was
common for students to walk around the hallways of the dorms of
Davenport State University in the nude and the attitude about that was
very casual. It was strange, and unfortunate for her, that even in the
most liberal part of the US, attitudes about nudity were more
conservative than they had been in the past.
As soon as she entered the bathroom she did take off her towel. If other
students had a problem with that, that was just too bad. Obviously in
the bathroom she was within her rights to be naked. She brushed her
teeth, then showered, and then returned to the mirror to run a comb
through her hair before going back to her room.
Since Shannon was not in the room, Ruthie took advantage of her
roommate�s absence to leave her clothes off. She would study in the nude
until she heard Shannon�s key in the door. Normally Ruthie slept naked,
but she kept an over-sized t-shirt handy that she wore whenever she was
up and Shannon was present. She knew that Shannon would have a biting
comment if Ruthie tried to be undressed in her presence, but also if she
were naked around her nemesis, she would be more vulnerable, which was
something she did not want. As soon as Shannon came back, she would slip
the shirt over her head.
Ruthie spent the next six hours typing her term paper, taking advantage
of Shannon�s absence and having a rare night of privacy. The noise from
neighboring rooms could be heard in her room, but even with the
background sounds it was comparatively quiet, given that Shannon was one
of the loudest students on the floor. Ruthie made excellent progress
with the paper because there was nothing to disturb her concentration.
The hours passed and Shannon never showed up. She must be at one of
those all-night parties, thought Ruthie to herself.
Finally, at about 3:00 am Ruthie reached a convenient stopping point.
She was exhausted anyway and would not be able to continue. There still
was no sign of Shannon.
Good, I hope that filthy bitch got alcohol poisoning. On that note she
went to bed and for once enjoyed a decent night�s sleep.
----------
Mike returned to his room and saw the one thing he had hoped not to see,
Todd at the computer playing his on-line game with a new character. It
appeared that things were back to normal, and yet Mike could tell that
they weren�t. There was something strange about Todd�s behavior, a
bizarre desperation in what he was doing. Mike�s thoughts drifted to
what he had read about gambling addicts, to what happens to them after a
series of losses; that they think the �big win� is right around the
corner. Obviously Todd must be thinking along similar lines: that if he
could just build up his replacement character, he could score big and
restore his status in the game. If only�
Mike gave up on the idea of trying to talk to his roommate. It was too
late to do anything to salvage Todd�s life. Whatever hope there might
have been for him to return to the real world vanished when he created
that new character. Mike knew that Todd�s situation was going to end
very badly. He just wished the end would come quickly so he could get
some sleep�
----------
Ruthie woke up refreshed and in a rare good mood. She glanced over at
Shannon�s bed and saw that super-bitch had never come back that night. A
glimmer of hope welled up in her that maybe something indeed had
happened to Shannon. She got cleaned up and returned to working on her
term paper.
The computer that she was using was an old Compaq that used Windows 98
as its operating system. Now�who used Windows 98? Ruthie Burns. The
computer had been given to her as her 16th birthday present by her
mother, who had bought it in a surplus sale from the office where her
aunt worked. Ruthie�s mother had no clue what she was buying, but the
price was right: $250 for the tower, monitor, keyboard, and a printer.
Shannon, who of course owned a new computer that was given to her the
same week that she entered college, had commented: �Where�d you get
that? From an antique shop, or did you dig it out of a dumpster?�
----------
The bad thing about hoping that something happened to a person you hate
is that the longer you wait and the more hope builds up, the greater is
the emotional let-down when your nemesis finally does show up. Ruthie
was in high spirits by noon, because she was becoming increasingly
convinced that something had happened to Shannon. It would be sweet if
super-bitch had been killed, or better yet, critically injured in a car
accident. However, something like a DWI or alcohol poisoning or Shannon
getting beat-up would have been sufficient to keep Ruthie happy. But, of
course, people like Shannon enjoy some sort of cosmic protection and
nothing bad ever happens to them.
Sure enough, right at noon Ruthie�s heart sank when she heard her
roommate�s key opening the lock of the door. She rushed to pull her
t-shirt over her head. She had the shirt down to her legs just in time,
because the door swung open and Shannon entered with her boyfriend. The
quiet of the room was shattered as super-bitch immediately turned on her
CD player and talked loudly to her companion. Ruthie, as usual, did not
object to the intrusion; she simply logged off her computer and grabbed
a pair of shorts and a t-shirt out of her closet. With Shannon and her
boyfriend firmly planted in her room, she had to go to the women�s
bathroom to change, which entailed nothing more than pulling off her
t-shirt and replacing it with the shorts and shirt. She returned to drop
off her sleeping shirt, get her backpack and put on a pair of sandals,
and with that she was ready to step outside for the day.
Ruthie�s mood was somewhat soured by the re-appearance of Shannon, but
at least she did have the room to herself for 18 hours and had made very
good progress on her term paper. Oh�it would be so nice to have a room
to herself, where she didn�t have to clear out every time super-bitch
showed up, where she didn�t have to worry about pulling a shirt over her
head every time she heard a key in the lock�her own space�even if it was
nothing more than a room with a desk and a bed.
The stress of dealing with Shannon was starting to get to Ruthie. She
knew that what she really needed to do was confront her roommate and
tell her that she had to share the room and be more considerate, but she
also knew that would get her nowhere. Shannon had an intimidating
personality and was quick with demeaning comments and come-backs.
Ruthie, on the other hand, was very bad at winning arguments because she
couldn�t think of quick responses. Instead her thoughts stewed for hours
afterwards and she would think of what she should have said, but had not
at the moment she needed to hit back. Shannon bullied Ruthie, not
physically but with her ability to quickly come up with cutting remarks
and sarcastic sneering tirades. Ruthie was no match for her.
The injustice of the situation burned in Ruthie�s soul. She was full of
resentment, not only against Shannon but also against the university,
for having placed her in a dorm room with someone who was so absolutely
incompatible.
----------
Ruthie went into the cafeteria to have a salad and rice, and to pick up
some fruit to eat during the afternoon. In theory she was not supposed
to take food out of the cafeteria, but she always kept a stash of fruit
with her so she could snack in the afternoons without having to deal
with eating alone in a crowd of other students.
It was Sunday afternoon, a time when usually there were very few people
on campus. Ruthie decided to go behind the Econ building and see if the
area around her �private spot� was deserted enough for her to take off
her clothes and study naked. Sure enough, there were fewer than 20 cars
parked in the lot and the grounds behind the building were totally empty
of people. Ruthie pulled out a towel and laid it under the trees. She
then stripped and settled down to study for the test she had the next
day.
She was tempted to step out into the sunshine and walk around to enjoy
the sun on her body, but knew that would be too risky. What she�d really
like would be to go to Bonnie Doon beach, which was a clothing optional
beach only about a two-mile walk away. She had gone a couple of times,
but part of the route forced her to walk along the main road, which was
something she felt very uncomfortable doing. She hated the walk as much
as she loved going to the nude beach, so on that afternoon, laziness won
out over her desire to be naked in the sun. She�d have to settle for her
little spot under the trees.
As she looked out at the grass and the parking lot that lay beyond,
Ruthie�s thoughts drifted. Her burning hatred of Shannon subsided now
that she was away from the dorm room and not in her presence, so she
could try to focus on more pleasant things and finally get to studying.
She remembered that because it was Sunday, she�d have to call her mother
and once again face the barrage of questions about not finding a church.
More lies and more deception�
Well, better not to think about that now. Better to try to study and be
ready for the mid-term by 5:30, and then she could see what her evening
with Mike Sinclair would bring.
----------
Mike woke up to see that his roommate was gone. That surprised him,
because usually Todd played his video game until about 5:00 am, when
exhaustion overtook him and he absolutely had to log out. Typically he
slept until about 9:00 or so, then went to class, and then started up
with the gaming around sunset. It was the first time during the entire
semester that Mike had woken up and not seen Todd crashed on his bed.
Mike noticed that Todd�s computer had been left on and the screensaver
was running. Out of curiosity he moved the mouse to see what his
roommate had been doing. He saw the game�s death message. At first Mike
thought that Todd had, for some reason, managed to bring up the death
message for his original character. Then he realized that the message
was not for the original character at all, but for its replacement. Mike
realized that Todd had been defeated and killed online a second time. It
wasn�t hard to figure out what had happened: Todd was playing a
beginner�s character, and instead of slowly building it like he had done
with his first character, he must have played it at a level way above
its capabilities. Not hard to figure out, but it would be very
interesting to see what Todd was going to do next. The fact that he had
left the room immediately upon losing the second character indicated
that something serious might be going on.
Mike wondered what he should do. He didn�t know anyone who was close to
his roommate and had never talked to anyone in his family. He thought
about telling the RA, but tell him what? That his roommate had taken off
because he lost a video game? That didn�t even sound right. What about
the police? Like he was going to try to tell that to the police? Mike
was convinced that if he did try to call the cops, Todd probably would
show up after-all and he would end up looking like an idiot, or worse
yet, be accused of making a prank call.
Finally Mike contented himself with trying to find a phone number for
Todd�s family. He was afraid to dig too deeply into his roommate�s desk,
but he did make a half-hearted effort to find someone to contact. In the
end he couldn�t find anything. Todd must have taken his cell phone
because Mike couldn�t find it. Finally he decided to start studying,
with a vague idea of being in the room in case someone called or showed
up.
At 2:00 Mike�s floor RA knocked on his door. He was accompanied by two
uniformed Davenport city police officers. Without being told, Mike knew
what had happened; that Todd must have committed suicide. Sure enough,
the officers related that several hours earlier Todd had shot himself in
his car while sitting in the parking lot of a video game store.
Because Mike was Todd�s roommate, he was the first point of contact for
the investigation. It turned out he also was more useful than the police
had anticipated, because he was able to give them a plausible motive for
Todd�s death. Mike explained that Todd had been addicted to gaming and
how, just two nights before, his character got killed on-line. He
described Todd�s behavior when he was killed, and then talked about the
new character and what he thought had happened.
�If you check his computer, you�ll see what I�m talking about.�
One of the cops then did something that totally surprised Mike. He
didn�t move the mouse to verify what he was saying. Instead he simply
unplugged the tower and disconnected it from the rest of Todd�s
hardware. The cops put the CPU in a large bag and carried it out of the
room. They searched his desk and closet and bagged up some receipts,
CD�s, and a couple of flash drives.
The cops asked Mike a series of questions about his relationship with
his roommate, whether or not he had any friends, whether or not he had
any romantic interests, and what Mike knew about Todd�s academic
situation. Mike�s answers were always the same� no, we never did
anything together�to be honest, we never really talked�no, Todd did not
have any off-line friends that he was aware of�no, there were no
romantic interests that he was aware of�yes, he was failing the
semester, but it was because he spent all his time gaming�
Finally, the police put some crime scene tape around Todd�s half of the
room and left to talk with the RA. Mike sat on his bed, staring at the
tape. He had expected something like this to happen, but to expect it
and to actually know that it already had taken place were two totally
different things. He tried to comprehend that he no longer had a
roommate. In a few days either the police or one of his relatives would
come into the room to pick up his things; and that would be the end of
Todd.
Strange, Mike thought to himself. I lived with this guy for two months,
and I don�t even have a picture of him�
----------
Several weeks later Mike would find out the sordid detail that had
pushed his roommate over the edge. The police were able to retrieve the
log from his game and reconstruct what had happened during his final
moments online. It turned out that with his new character he had
attempted to contact his old battle group and join up with them. At
first they rebuffed him because his character was not developed, but
when he insisted, one of his former partners led Todd�s new character
into a trap, insulted him, and left him to be killed by a monster. That
betrayal must have been the final psychological blow that pushed him to
pull a gun on himself a couple of hours later.
----------
When Mike met Ruthie for dinner, Todd�s suicide dominated their
conversation. Mike realized that he was extremely lucky to have someone
as serious as Ruthie to listen to him and give her own perspective.
Suicide might have been too morbid a topic for most students to think
about, but it was perfectly suited for his friend�s dark personality.
She was interested in hearing the details and what Mike had told the
cops.
Most important of all, Ruthie was willing to listen to Mike as he worked
through his conflicting emotions. He felt guilty that he had not done
more to prevent Todd�s suicide, and yet at the same time he was glad to
be rid of a roommate that annoyed him and who he really did not like. He
was glad that he would have the room to himself, but at the same time
felt bad about it. His thoughts about Todd ranged from sympathy to
contempt to disbelief that he could kill himself over something as
stupid as an online game. To an average person Mike�s conflicting
thoughts would have made him sound totally incoherent, but to Ruthie,
his state of mind made perfect sense.
Mike would have expected Ruthie to tell him not to feel guilty about his
roommate�s suicide. She did tell him that he had no reason to feel
guilty, but the reasoning that came with that reassurance surprised him.
�I think what he did was the smartest thing he could have done. From
everything that you�ve been telling me about his life, it totally
sucked. He had no friends, no girlfriend, nobody gave a shit about him,
you certainly didn�t like him, he was gonna fail the semester�so
really�what did he have to live for?�
�He would have had plenty to live for if he hadn�t blown 18 months of
his life sitting at his computer blasting monsters.�
�You know that for a fact? You really think his life was oh-so-wonderful
before he started gaming? I mean�take a look at him. He wasn�t
good-looking at all�probably no one gave a shit about him in school�he
didn�t have much going on anyway�so what�d he do? Went somewhere he
could do something he was good at and where people wouldn�t give him
shit. His life sucked, so he found a place where it didn�t suck. That�s
why he got into it so much, because he had nothing else to live for in
his real life. So he escaped, and went to a place where people would
respect him.�
�The point is; it didn�t do him any good and he did not escape from his
real life. All he did was make his real life, the life that really
matters, a lot worse. He spent 18 months screwing around with that game
and what�s he got to show for it? Nothing. He spent 18 months of his
life doing nothing. Now all he�s got is a bullet in the head. I really
thought he should�ve been happy getting killed online, �cause it was his
chance to do something else. He needed to forget about that monster shit
and move on with his life. I�I still can�t believe that he was so stupid
as to kill himself over losing a video game.�
�If his life sucked and had nothing else to live for, then he wasn�t
gonna want to do anything else and wasn�t gonna move on with his life.
To him it wasn�t a game; that was his life. And as for him being �so
stupid as to kill himself�, if you�re unhappy, killing yourself isn�t
stupid. It�s a lot stupider to spend your life being unhappy than it is
to kill yourself. Putting up with a life that sucks is what�s stupid.�
Mike was quiet, because he wasn�t sure how to react to Ruthie�s last
statement. Another overly strong opinion, to say the least. He paused,
but finally he replied:
�I�m not so sure that I agree with you on that. If your life sucks, then
you need to try to fix it. Either fix what�s wrong in your life or fix
what�s wrong with the system.�
Ruthie rolled her eyes.
�Fix what�s wrong in the system? And just how are you gonna fix what�s
wrong in the system?�
�You at least have to try��
�Why? Why do you at least have to try? No one�s gonna give a shit
whether you try or not. Mike, you�ve gotta understand that a lot of
people�s lives suck and they suck for things they can�t help. If you�re
ugly, you can�t fix that. If you�re a psycho, you can�t fix that. If
you�re a meth-head, chances are you can�t fix that. If you�re job�s been
outsourced and you know that you�re gonna be unemployed the rest of your
life, you can�t fix that. I mean�look at all the people that Mega-Mart�s
put out of work. How many of them do you think will ever get decent jobs
again? How many? Their lives are gonna suck. So what�s the point of them
staying alive?�
Mike cut her short.
�Ruthie, my dad was put out of work by Mega-Mart! I really don�t
appreciate you saying he�d be better off dead!�
Ruthie turned pale. She tried to correct herself.
�I�I mean he�s got something else to live for�you
guys�family�but�there�s a lot of people�that don�t have that. Todd�I
mean�I don�t think he had anything else going on in his life�that�s all
I was trying to say.�
For a moment they sat silent. She began fidgeting and looked down at the
table.
�I�m sorry about your dad�I really didn�t mean to��
Mike took a deep breath. �Look�I understand that�s not what you meant.
But�just to let you know�you need to watch how you say things to other
people��
Ruthie blushed and tears welled up in her eyes. Mike came to her rescue
by suggesting they go outside. As they put up their trays and made their
way towards the door, he wondered about her unusual position on suicide:
that if a person was unhappy, killing himself was the logical thing to
do. It was a rather hopeless view of life, but as was normal for her,
she was being recklessly honest with expressing how she felt about an
important issue that has vexed people throughout recorded history. At
first he had thought about changing the subject, but he was curious to
find out more about her unusual take on committing suicide. He also
calculated that if he let her talk some more, it would set her at ease
about the slip she had made at the dining table.
He pointed towards a hill at the edge of campus, where there was a
walkway and an observatory. The observatory was closed to anyone who was
not an astronomy major, but the path underneath offered a view of the
university on one side and the Pacific Ocean on the other. The
observatory itself blocked the light coming from campus, so the only
man-made lights visible were the string of distant headlights from cars
driving along Highway 1. As they looked out over the coast and the
distant Pacific Ocean, the two students were able to set aside their
uncomfortable moment at the dinner table. Still, Mike was curious about
Ruthie�s opinions about suicide and how she formed them. She responded:
�I don�t know�from a lot of places I guess. I�ve thought about it��cause
I�ve had a sucky life�ever since I left Nebraska�and even before I
left�and I�ve often wondered what�s the point of living. Of course my
mom keeps telling me that the point of living is to glorify God�but I
think you know how I feel about glorifying God. So�I�ve done a lot of
reading�history and on the Internet. You know�a lot of societies didn�t
have the same ideas about suicide that we do. The Japanese�if they screw
up, it�s what�s expected of them, or at least it used to be. Killing
yourself was honorable. In ancient Rome people killed themselves all the
time, if they thought they were going to be humiliated or if they were
gonna be arrested. In a lot of cases in Rome, if a person was about to
be arrested, the guards even gave them the chance to kill themselves to
save their honor and avoid getting tortured. I found that
fascinating�and a lot better than the �culture of life� that we have
here in this country. If you screwed up or your life sucked, then there
was a way out and there was nothing wrong with taking it.�
Mike smiled slightly. �I don�t think that�s ever gonna happen here.�
�Of course it�s not. They�ve got us brainwashed with this �culture of
life� crap. No matter how much your life sucks, you owe it to God or
your relatives or whoever to stay alive. I guess the point is that I
strongly believe that if a person wants to kill themselves, that�s their
right. The government has no right to try to force someone to stay alive
if that isn�t what they want. The truth is that a lot of people's lives
suck and there�s nothing anyone can do about that.�
Mike considered what his friend was saying. Her opinion certainly was
different from anything he had ever heard, but he was surprised that he
did not find it repulsive in the least. She was forcing him to look at a
life and death matter from an entirely new perspective. As brutal as it
may have sounded at first glance, what she said actually made a lot of
sense.
For a while they stood in silence, looking out over the ocean and the
steady stream of headlights going up and down the highway. Mike
continued to ponder what Ruthie had said to him, wondering what painful
event in her past might have pushed her to be so accepting of suicide.
He also wondered if she had seriously considered committing suicide
herself. He knew that she must have; otherwise she would not have given
the issue so much thought. Then, his own training in political analysis
kicked in, and he thought about her comment �they�ve got us brainwashed
with this �culture of life� crap.� That most certainly was true, but
why? Why would the government force a person to live out an existence
that he doesn�t want? Mike�s cynical view of politics and economic
interests prompted him to throw out an idea:
�I suppose the whole thing with the government and the authorities comes
down to a vested interest in keeping people active in the economy. If a
lot of people started thinking..."my life sucks, and I'm checking out"
then who would be available to work in all the Mega-Burgers? Who would
be around to pick artichokes? Who would be around to serve coffee? Who
would be spending their money on Chinese imports at Mega-Mart? So the
rich guys have this huge incentive to suppress any thought of suicide as
a personal choice�I think that�s the answer to your question. Just like
everything else in this country, it really comes down to money. If
you�re dead, they can�t make any money off you.�
�There�s that whole money thing, but I think there�s more�the big
argument that I�ve seen on the Internet is that suicide is selfish, that
it hurts those around you so you have no right to do it. It�s this idea
that you have stay alive to serve everyone else and you can�t do what
you want. I mean�I know my mom would be really messed up if I ever tried
anything, and that�s the type of argument they�re using�that and the
whole thing about pissing off God. And�it�s a challenge to the Christian
world-view; if you�re not alive you can�t serve God. They argue that
life is so precious, and folks need to be encouraged not to leave
prematurely. But I argue back, what's the point of living if the life I
want is denied to me and all I get is the crumbs left over by the rich?
It�s up to society to make life worth living. The government needs to
stop doing shit for all the rich people and start worrying about making
life worthwhile for the rest of us. You look at all the stuff the rich
are doing to us, taking away our health insurance, taking away our
scholarships, suing us when we try to download music, passing all these
morality laws so I can't do something as simple as take off my dress if
I'm hot...and then they wonder why some of us can't stand the world they
have created...�
�And that�s my point, Ruthie. It all comes down to money. You just said
it yourself.�
Suddenly Mike�s heart skipped a beat as he remembered her phrase
��passing all these morality laws so I can't do something as simple as
take off my dress if I'm hot�� Interesting that she would say that,
especially considering how she normally dressed�
They realized that several hours had passed and that it was getting
late. Ruthie was trembling because she had nothing to protect her body
from the chilly wind except for shorts and a very flimsy shirt. Even in
the dark, Mike could see that her bare arms were covered with
goose-bumps. She had not given him any indication that she wanted to go
back to the dorm area, but it was clear that she was very uncomfortable
perched on that hillside with the wind hitting her exposed skin. Mike
realized that if he wanted, he had an opportunity to get closer to her.
He did have some doubts, because there was no question that Ruthie�s
lack of social skills might cause him some embarrassment from time to
time. She was morose and obviously prone to depression. However, the
evening�s conversation had proven that he really could talk to her about
any deep or thoughtful topic. He felt that he needed that in his life,
and her openness about �deeper issues� far outweighed whatever faults
she might have. On top of everything else she was very attractive, with
her large dark eyes, petite figure, and perfect olive skin. She was
timid and yet at the same time was not in the least prudish about her
body. That detail Mike found very desirable about her. He wanted her.
�Ruthie, I�m kinda worried about you. You look cold standing there in
the wind like that.�
She nodded.
�Why don�t you let me put my arms around you, so you can warm up a bit?�
She nodded again and allowed him to wrap his arms around her stomach.
She pressed her back against his chest and immediately stopped
shivering. For a long time they stood quietly, watching the fog build
over the Pacific Ocean and the line of headlights along the highway thin
out.
Mike didn�t know what to do next. Ruthie was only the second woman he
had ever held in his arms, so he was not sure how to proceed with her.
Up until that moment, his entire experience with the opposite sex
consisted of the time he had spent with Lisa, and he knew that
experience was irrelevant because Lisa and Ruthie were so different from
each other. He wanted to kiss her, but had no idea whether or not she
would go for that. In the end he decided not to take the risk, opting to
err on the side of caution. It was fortunate that he decided to wait,
because had he tried to kiss her at that moment she would have become
very nervous and the mood of the evening would have been spoiled.
Finally they realized that it was time to return to their dorms and get
ready for the next day, which included the infamous English literature
course. They headed back. Mike decided that there was at least one thing
he wanted to change.
�Tomorrow�in lit class�I�d kinda like to sit with you�if that�s OK��
Ruthie glanced up at him, smiled slightly, and nodded.
