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Chapter 7 - A day in Monterey
Mike woke up the next morning after the best night of sleep he had
enjoyed for several months. He felt not just rested, but truly
refreshed. He had gone to bed happy and woken up happy.
On top of his good mood, he slept well because for the first time all
semester he had not had to put up with the muffled sounds of electronic
warfare coming out of Todd�s headphones. Todd had crawled on top of his
bed and went to sleep in his street clothes shortly after Mike returned
from the shower. He didn�t even bother to take off his shoes. He slept
curled up in a fetal position with his back to Mike. There was nothing
normal about his behavior; it seemed that the life had gone out of him.
Mike quietly turned off his roommate�s computer. Todd did not react.
Mike had silently gloated as he watched his roommate�s online life come
to a bloody end, but in the morning, looking at the listless body on the
bed in front of him, he started to feel somewhat guilty. He knew that
Todd was a serious addict, addicted to gaming every bit as much as a
gambler is addicted to slot machines or Poker. Like any other addict, he
was experiencing withdrawal, in his case because he could no longer play
his on-line game as the character he had been using for the past 18
months. Sure�he could start over with a new character, but there was no
chance whatsoever he could attain the same ranking with a new character
that he had with his old one. The quality of his gaming experience, no
matter how much effort he put into building a new character, would never
match what he had lost when his old character was killed.
Mike was convinced that what his roommate needed do was to forget about
gaming altogether for the rest of the year and try to fix his grades.
Probably there still was time for him to salvage the semester. The
perceived commitments that he had with his battle partners disappeared
when his character died. Besides�what did he owe them anyway? Wasn�t it
his battle partners who failed to protect Todd�s character when he was
injured, and just let him die? Maybe he should take that as a hint that
he took his own commitment to the game, and specifically to his battle
group, way too seriously.
Mike had wanted to say all that, but his roommate�s curled back
indicated that at least for the moment he would be unresponsive. Better
let it wait and try to talk after he woke up. Still, Mike felt very
uneasy. Todd was going through a serious psychological crisis and there
was no guarantee whatsoever he would come out of it OK. Even if he did
recover, probably it would take a couple of weeks and by then his window
of opportunity to salvage his grades would have closed. Then he would
have another crisis: failing the semester.
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Todd�s predicament made Mike even more grateful for his own life as he
stepped out of his building into a cool overcast October morning. The
weather forecast promised to become sunny later on, so he looked forward
to a pleasant day. He would have breakfast with Ruthie and perhaps take
her out of Davenport again. He wondered what would be better, taking her
somewhere during the day, or asking her out that night. Finally he
settled on suggesting they go out during the day, figuring that might be
less intimidating for her.
Ruthie already had stepped outside, given that Shannon had woken up and
turned on the TV to chase her out of the room. Mike noticed that she
seemed relieved to see him, because she looked out of place sitting by
herself on the grass outside her dorm building. She was dressed in her
usual shorts and loose-fitting T-shirt. She wore nothing else apart from
a pair of old athletic shoes. She looked like she had just gotten out of
bed, because her hair was not combed.
Ruthie had expected to go to Watson Hall, but Mike offered to take her
off-campus to Santa Cruz. Ruthie was elated at that idea. On the way in
to town he gave her a summary of what was going on with Todd. Then he
mentioned that there was a statue of a surfer that overlooked the main
city beach area of Santa Cruz. Ruthie giggled:
�A statue of a surfer? Can we check it out? That I�ve gotta see.�
Sure enough, Santa Cruz boasts a statue of a surfer, the city�s monument
to its best known recreational activity. The surfer stands in a
boxer-style swimsuit, holding up an old-style surfing board from the
1960�s. The statue was done in the same style as war memorial monuments
typical of the US National Park Service. The detail that Ruthie found
the most comical was the guy�s noble expression; with his head turned
into the air resolutely looking like he was about to go off to battle.
�This is just too funny. We�ve got to get a picture of it.�
Mike took a photograph of Ruthie in front of the statue, and then asked
a passer-by to take a shot of them together. It was the first picture
documenting their relationship.
The surfer statue put both Mike and Ruthie into much better moods. They
were able to enjoy a laugh over something they both felt was silly.
Ruthie mentioned the big artichoke statue at a restaurant near Salinas
and Mike jokingly chided her:
�So you�re laughing at a surfer, and you guys in Salinas have to look at
a big artichoke?�
�It�s not just an artichoke, Mike. It�s the great artichoke�the
artichoke that gives meaning to all life�or at least makes people look
twice at that restaurant.�
Mike smiled at Ruthie�s sarcasm.
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They had breakfast just south of downtown Santa Cruz. They talked about
the university and exchanged information about classes and majors.
Ruthie talked some more about her interest in evolution, which gave Mike
an idea:
�Just thinking�since you�re interested in stuff like that, would you
want to go to Monterey and see the aquarium?�
�I�d love that!�
They drove south towards Salinas, and from there would head back towards
the Pacific to see Monterey. The trip would take each of them past a
sight full of unpleasant memories and thoughts: Watsonville for Mike and
Salinas for Ruthie. Just after they passed Watsonville, the traffic
slowed down. For several minutes Mike drove in a traffic jam full of
cars from the Saturday shopping crowd. The view of the countryside was
blocked by enormous billboards which took advantage of the captive
audience. A lot of the billboards were for fast-food restaurants, but
many others featured the infamous clown face and Mega-Mart�s slogans:
Buy more stuff at Mega-Mart!
At Mega-Mart your money buys more stuff!
Mega-Mart � The biggest!
Mega-Mart � Bigger is always better!
Mega-Mart � Be part of our future!
Mega-Mart � We are the future!
Mega-Mart � The future belongs to us!
�and their latest slogan: America and Mega-Mart � partners in
greatness!
That last slogan was taken from the most recent marketing campaign,
which portrayed Mega-Mart�s enemies as being enemies of the United
States and �the American way of life�. That list of enemies included of
course, the Danubian government, but it also included groups such as the
one to which Mike belonged at Davenport State University. Just recently
Mega-Town Associates had successfully promoted a Federal law expanding
the definition of �hate speech� to anti-corporate slogans. Among other
things, if Mike were to set foot in a Mega-Mart wearing his t-shirt, he
could be prosecuted under the new law, sentenced to six months in jail,
and placed on a terrorist watch list.
Once they got close to the Mega-Mart exits, the traffic began to speed
up again as the hoards of shoppers left the highway. There were three
exits to the Watsonville Mega-Center, each four lanes wide; that fed
into a parking lot that boasted space for 50,000 cars in the open area,
plus several parking garages. Beyond that black desert of asphalt lay
the Mega-Mart Mega-Center itself. It was a building the size of six
football fields, which from a distance looked like an enormous gray and
yellow box. Two of the ubiquitous clown�s heads, each five stories high,
framed a series of glass doors through which tens of thousands of
shoppers passed every day, morning and night, without stop.
Ruthie commented that she wondered whether her mother and aunt were
somewhere down in that huge parking lot, or perhaps in the store itself.
�They�ve been coming here every Saturday since this place opened.�
�Them and the rest of the country.�
For several more minutes they continued southward across open fields of
vegetables. Ruthie commented:
�It�s kinda funny that people think these vegetables are so healthy. If
you knew all the shit they spray on top and what they put in the soil,
and put in the plants themselves�you�d probably never eat anything green
again.�
�Except that meat�s even worse.�
��and that�s what I meant when I said they�ve got us beat. You can�t eat
meat and you can�t eat vegetables without eating a bunch of chemicals.�
As they passed through Salinas, Ruthie pointed out several landmarks,
including her high school and the places where her mother, uncle, and
one of her cousins worked. She pointed out the dilapidated shopping
center that contained her mother�s church and talked at length about her
religious experiences growing up. They discussed religion, a topic of
which Ruthie was extremely knowledgeable, in spite of her loathing
towards anyone who was an actual believer.
�I �spose I�d find it more interesting if I didn�t have it pushed on me
so hard by my mom. But for me it�s personal. I can�t read too much about
it nowadays without getting pissed off.�
�A question�was there ever a time when you did believe in God?�
�Yeah�I did�I guess up until I was 16. Before that I was always on all
these guilt trips when I was like 14-15 or so. I was real scared of
being watched all the time, and I kinda resented it. I was thinking�
�God, you�re always watching me, so how come you don�t come down here
and help me out every so often?� I�d pray for stuff, but I never got one
single thing I wanted. Not one single fucking thing. And it wasn�t as
though I was praying for money or anything like that, �cause I knew that
we were supposed to be poor and God was OK with that and that to want
money was sinful�but I�d pray for stuff like having friends in Salinas
or hearing from my friends in Nebraska, or maybe hearing from my dad, or
being a bit happier. I never got any of those things, so in the end�I
just prayed that God could change my attitude towards my own life, to
have Satan leave me alone and be content with what God gave me. I didn�t
even get that. So I finally gave up on praying �cause it wasn�t doing me
any good.�
��and you were�about 16 or so when that happened?�
�Yeah�towards the end of my sophomore year�Anyhow, at that time I was
reading a bunch of stuff about ancient Rome and Egypt, I was kinda
escaping into that time�there was this one Roman queen called Livia
Drusilla who poisoned a whole bunch of people she didn�t like and I
envied her and wished I could do the same thing around my school�anyhow,
I started reading about the early Christian church and how it got
started. And that�s when I realized there was a whole bunch of really
interesting stuff written about the Bible that had nothing to do with
the �how to be a better Christian� bullshit you see in the bookstores.
So I started reading about all that. My mom thought it was great that I
was so interested in the Bible all of a sudden, but what she didn�t
realize was that I was reading real history and academic stuff, not �how
to be a better Christian�. I kept at it for a year and even did a couple
of term papers for my world history class in high school.�
As Mike turned onto the road to Monterey, Ruthie stopped:
�Am I boring you with all this?�
�No, not at all. It�s interesting.�
�OK�if you�re good with it�I�ll go on. Anyhow, I started arguing with my
Bible-study leader and I loved to embarrass her, �cause I actually knew
a lot more about the Bible than she did. Whenever she got a fact wrong
I�d correct her and I could talk about ancient Hebrew and Greek society,
which she didn�t know a thing about. Finally one day after we were done
and everyone had left, she told me that she wanted to talk to me. She
told me: �you know what? You may know what�s written in the Bible, but
for you it�s not the Living Word; to you it�s dead. You�re so arrogant
that you don�t understand what the Living Word is. You have raised yourself
up with your sinful conceit, you don�t know humility before the Lord,
and you don�t have Jesus in your heart. I don�t know what�s inside your
heart, but I can tell you it isn�t Jesus.� The only reason I didn�t say
anything was because I didn�t want it getting back to my mom, but she
was right, and I was glad about it. I didn�t have Jesus in my heart. I
knew that I was free from Jesus.�
They sat quietly for a few minutes as they passed the hilly countryside
that separated Salinas from Monterey. The memory of that encounter came
back to her in detail, the reproaching expression of a young woman who
was only a couple of years older than she was�full of the �authority of
God� in her own mind. Ruthie continued speaking on the topic she was
most passionate about:
�At that moment I felt that my mind completely broke free, because I
realized that my Bible-study leader had no right to bitch at me. I knew
more facts about the Bible than anyone else in my church, and at that
moment I realized that the Holy Book could not have possibly been
written by God. I knew from my own reading that the Bible was assembled
piecemeal from old scripts that had been re-written over and over and
selected from thousands of potential variations, by men who were worried
about themselves and their own agendas at a particular time in history.
Those bastards were hateful, ignorant, misogynistic people who had
nothing but their own interests in mind. That�s the foundation for the
Judeo-Christian religion. That�s the origin of the Bible, the real
origin. God had nothing to do with it. God couldn�t have written the
Bible because God doesn�t exist. That�s what I realized that night,
talking to that ignoramus.�
Mike noticed that Ruthie�s face was tensed up and her hands were shaking
slightly.
�After I went home that night, I thought about something. It wasn�t just
Jesus. I didn�t believe in God anymore, but I didn�t know that much
about the alternative, science. I didn�t know shit about evolution,
because I was too busy reading up on ancient history and biblical
studies. So I knew I needed to fix that. I�d make sure those fuckers in
the church couldn�t ever touch my mind again. I�d fix it so that I�d win
every argument I ever got into. So I read up on evolution�the origins of
the earth, dinosaurs, paleontology, genetics, carbon dating, plate
tectonics, the Big Bang�I read about it all. The astronomy part gave me
some headaches because I�m not good with math and some of the theory
based on those big equations confuses me. But I figured that I could at
least understand what they were talking about, even if I didn�t get all
the details.�
�What did your mom have to say about that?�
�She never knew. I hid the library books under my bed, the ones that
talked about evolution and the history of the earth. I didn�t worry
about the Biblical history books because I could always tell her I
wanted to understand the Bible better, which was true, but just not the
way she thought. I did real well in my science classes at school, but
she never put two-and-two together to figure out that I had gotten into
all that because I no longer bought the line of crap they were giving us
at the church. So I�d go and listen to that moron preacher scream and
yell, put in my time�deal with my mom speaking in tongues�by the way,
have you ever heard a person speaking in tongues?�
�Not up close. I�ve just seen it on TV. They don�t do stuff like that at
my parents� church.�
�It�s not a pretty sight. It�s scary the first time you see it. I
remember when I was 12, and got dragged to that church the first
time�how scary it was�you know �cause I�d never seen anything like that
and here my mom was, on her knees babbling a bunch of crazy crap. I can
tell you it scared the shit out of me when I saw her doing it the first
time.�
Their conversation was interrupted as they came within sight of the
aquarium in Monterey. Ruthie had visited the aquarium only once in her
life during a high school trip, so she was happy to have a chance to see
it again. Mike had seen it more often. She was taken aback by how much
it cost to get in, but her classmate brushed off her concern and bought
two entrances. The presence of all that sea-life, along with being in
the presence of a companion who was willing to listen to her, gave
Ruthie even more confidence. She talked about everything in the tanks,
about the evolution of fish and other sea creatures, and how some groups
of invertebrates had gone unchanged for hundreds of millions of years.
�The fossil record seems to show that there is a big difference in the
way vertebrates and invertebrates evolve. Vertebrates, especially if
they are more advanced, whether it�s mammals or dinosaurs, are
constantly changing. It seems that invertebrates don�t do that. They hit
a certain point in their evolution, and they just stay there. An example
is cockroaches, but an even better one is silverfish. Silverfish are one
of the first insects there was; they�re older than just about anything
else that ever came up on land, and they�re still around. You hold one
of those in your hand, and it�s like you�re doing some time travel.�
Mike marveled at the outward transformation of his classmate as she
talked about a topic that interested her. She was as knowledgeable as
any of the paid guides would have been and was able to hold his
interest. It was unfortunate that the side of her that he was seeing was
not the one people in Davenport were accustomed to. Her normal behavior
made her appear either socially inept or mentally disturbed, and yet
here she was, confidently talking about the marvels of the natural world
and the science that set out to describe it.
When they left the aquarium, Mike knew a lot more about ocean life than
he had known going in. He had received a crash-course in marine biology
from a classmate who was a year younger than he was. He realized that
Ruthie easily was as intelligent as he was, probably even more so.
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When they left the aquarium they decided to drive around the Monterey
Peninsula before going back to Davenport. They passed the famous golf
courses, looked out over the ocean, and saw some sea otters in the
water. Ruthie quickly launched into a lecture about the history of sea
otters and how they had been hunted close to extinction. When they saw
sea lions she commented about their evolution and compared it with the
evolution of whales.
As much as Mike was curious to hear what she was talking about, he could
see how Ruthie�s continuous reciting of information could get on the
nerves of a person who was not as interested. He considered himself an
intellectually curious person, so it did not bother him to be with a
companion who chatted incessantly about things that she was familiar
with. However, a more typical college student would not have had much
patience to spend an entire day getting impromptu lectures about biology
and evolution. Thus he could see how her personality could grate on the
majority of the people with whom she came in contact. Her brain was full
of facts and information, but unfortunately that information was a
hindrance for her having a normal life, because she was unable to talk
about the shallower topics that interested most of her classmates.
As the day wore on, Mike realized something important about his
relationship with Ruthie. The more he let her talk, the closer she felt
to him. He had given her something very simple, but at the same time
something very important, the chance to express herself without being
cut-off. She became much less nervous and quit fidgeting when she was
alone with him. Eye contact still was a source of discomfort, because
she tended to look down or off to the side if they were face-to-face.
When they were talking in the car or walking side by side and they both
faced forward, she could talk with ease and confidence.
Ruthie Burns was a very literal person, to whom words meant more than
they would to most people. If Mike wanted to convey how he felt about
anything, he had to tell her directly. The same was true with
understanding her; he had to ask because her outward behavior did not
necessarily reflect what was going on in her head. At times there was a
strange disconnect between the girl�s thoughts and emotions with her
gestures, expressions, and mannerisms.
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The afternoon went by very quickly. They thoroughly enjoyed being
together, so much so that as they sat in traffic near the Watsonville
Mega-Mart on their way back, they realized they had gone the entire day
without having eaten since breakfast. Mike suggested that they stop in
Santa Cruz for dinner before returning to Davenport. Ruthie, who was in
no hurry to see the day end, cheerfully agreed.
They decided to walk around downtown Santa Cruz and see where they might
want to eat. As they looked for the �right� restaurant, they browsed
several �artistic� stores. In a couple of places they irritated store
employees by making fun of the more ridiculous items that people with
money would put in their homes.
They finally chose a restaurant and were just about to go in when Ruthie
asked if they could make one last stop in a store that sold vintage and
unusual clothing. Mike had no problem with that, although he was
somewhat surprised, given that she had commented that clothes and
fashion meant little to her. She poked around a little bit and was just
about ready to leave when a small dress caught her eye.
It was a very small dress indeed, one that barely would stay within the
confines of the law, even in a liberal place like Santa Cruz. It was
made from soft red material and totally open in the back. The top
consisted of a U-shaped piece of cloth that went over the wearer�s neck,
which would hold it in place over the breasts. The most risqu� detail
however, how the dress appeared below the waist. The bottom part was as
short as a mini-skirt and only covered down to the upper thighs. The
skirt portion was open on the sides clear up to the belt-line, which
would leave the wearer�s hips completely exposed.
Ruthie held the dress and her face lit up with enthusiasm.
�This is so cool!�
Mike�s heart pounded, because if she tried it on and came out to look at
herself in the mirror, he would have a very good look at her attractive
figure. With effort he managed to control his voice:
�Did you want to try it on?�
�You don�t mind? Yeah, I�d love to!�
Mike shook his head: �No, I don�t mind.� Of course he wouldn�t mind�
Ruthie took the dress into a changing room and came back out a few
seconds later. Mike barely could speak as he studied his scantly-clad
classmate with very wide eyes. The dress covered even less of her than
he had expected. It obviously could not be worn with any sort of bra,
and the only panties it could be worn with would be a very high-cut
thong. Mike knew that under the skirt she wasn�t wearing even that. The
skimpy piece of clothing looked unbelievably sexy on her small figure.
Ruthie ignored her friend�s gaping expression and looked at herself in
the main mirror. She was very pleased with how the dress appeared on
her, covering what needed to be covered by law and nothing more. She
found being so exposed a big turn-on and felt that wearing such a dress
around campus would signal her rejection of traditional Christian values
more than anything else she could possibly do. Yes, the dress would be
her statement to all of the religious types trying to snatch control of
her mind and telling her that she had to cover up. She commented to
Mike:
�This is neat! I totally love it! How do you think it looks on me?�
Mike swallowed and struggled to speak:
�It looks really nice on you�but�you�d�wear that around campus?�
�Damn straight I would! It�d be my �fuck you� to all the God freaks who
won�t leave me alone, you know�kinda like your pig-shirt is against
Mega-Town. It�d be my personal protest against the Bible thumpers.�
Mike�s heart continued to pound at the thought of her actually wearing
that dress. It certainly would be a bizarre contrast with her normally
shy personality. She turned around a couple more times. Then her face
reflected disappointment.
�Sucks that I�m gonna have to put it back.�
�You don�t have any money on you?�
�Fuck no�like I�d ever have any money on me?�
Mike wondered what he should do. He had been thinking of buying her a
small gift anyway, something that she might appreciate and that
hopefully would help open the door of her heart to him. He had been
wondering what she might want and would enjoy. Well, there was not much
doubt in this store; she desperately wanted the dress. He decided to
take a chance:
�Ruthie�I mean�If you�d really like that dress, I could get it for
you�you know�if it�s something that you�d think you want to wear.�
Ruthie nervously looked at her classmate. Had it been any other item of
clothing, she would have felt embarrassed at the thought of having a guy
she had only known for a week pay for something she was going to wear.
However the dress was different. She had never seen a piece of clothing
like that and probably never would again. If she turned down his offer,
she knew that she would be fantasizing about wearing the dress and end
up totally frustrated. She took a deep breath.
�I�I mean�you�d actually wanna do that? You wouldn�t mind?�
�No, of course I wouldn�t mind. It�s not expensive and you like it, so
why not? It does look good on you.�
She surprised him by hugging him. Then she returned to the dressing
room, not to change, but to grab her other clothes. Mike�s heart jumped
in his throat when he realized that she was dead serious about wearing
that dress out on the street.
When they had dinner, Mike could tell that the hostess had doubts about
seating them because of Ruthie�s lack of attire, but in the end the
customer was not breaking any rules or laws, so there was no
justification to deny her a table. Mike did notice that they were seated
in a booth near the back wall and out of view of the main dining area.
Ruthie was oblivious to the restaurant worker�s discomfort.
Dinner was a strange experience for Mike, because Ruthie wanted to talk
some more about geological deposits and the subduction zone off the
Pacific coast that caused the San Andreas fault. She mentioned that
there was a volcano that had been formed and later split in half by the
fault and that the two separated pieces now were miles apart.
�There�s some neat hiking trails and a park on one of the halves. It�s
south of Salinas.�
Mike promised to take her hiking there, but his mind was more focused on
her attractive figure and almost naked body. Whenever she leaned forward
the cloth of her new dress parted, allowing him to see her breasts. He
became very uncomfortable throughout the meal because looking at her
gave him an erection. He badly wanted her, much more than he had wanted
anything for a long time.
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It was well after dark when they finally got back to the university. As
much as they didn�t want to part ways, they had to because both had term
papers due the following week and Ruthie had a mid-term on Monday. He
accompanied her to her dorm room. Fortunately the light was not turned
on, which meant that Shannon must have already gone out for the night
and Ruthie would have the room to herself.
Saying goodnight was awkward, because they had not determined what they
were actually doing with their relationship. Were they just friends?
Were they going out? Was there any romance? Mike noticed that Ruthie was
fidgeting again, so he decided not to push the issue of trying to kiss
her. There would be plenty of time for that later. Instead he hugged
her, enjoying the touch of the smooth skin of her bare back as he held
her.
�I really had a great time with you today. I�was kinda wondering�what
you�re doing tomorrow night�you know�for dinner?�
�The usual�Watson hall��
�Well�if you�d like�would you want to meet up with me?�
Ruthie nodded.
�Five-thirty�here at the front door?�
She nodded again.
As he turned to leave, she added:
�Mike�I�you know�I wanted to tell you�I�I really enjoyed my day with
you.�
She blushed furiously and fidgeted. Mike reached out and took her hand.
�Me too. It was the best time I�ve had�all semester�I liked it��
He gently squeezed her hand and with that their first day together came
to an end.
