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"Comme des Betes"

140 minutes (70 min. twice), $25.00

"Comme des Betes" (the title translates to "Like the Beasts" or "Like the Animals") is a highly explicit ({1} or {2} for all species) 70-minute French documentary on animal reproduction. It dates to 1990, is quality {C} in most places, {B} at best, and, regrettably, there are a few {D}'s as well. Some of the scenes on "CDB" are also in "Procreation in the Wild" ("PITW"), and the PITW versions tend to be slightly better video quality, but are often less explicit than CDB. The French original is in PAL or SECAM format (I forget which), and was converted to VHS from the master tape.

Note: The color version of CDB is followed by a black and white version, which is noticeably sharper (consistently {A} or {B}), but it loses some impact from the lack of color. Both versions will be included on a T-160 tape.

Time              Subject-Action
============================================================================
0:00:40-0:00:48   mandrill-p,m

   In the opening scene, a male mandrill (a type of monkey) is shown 
   masturbating.

0:00:57-0:01:10   lions-c

   The lion's erect penis is briefly visible when he withdraws.

0:01:12-0:01:23   turtles-c

   Like it says. Close-ups of thrusting.

0:01:45-0:01:50   lions-c

   The lion's erect penis is visible for a longer period in this scene, 
   prior to penetration and thrusting.

0:02:29-0:03:10   orangutans-v,t,c [PITW is clearer]

   This scene opens with a pair of orangutans lying prone in a field; there 
   is a closeup of the female's vulva, then of the male's scrotum. After 
   that, they mate face to face. No penetration is shown; only thrusting.

0:03:52-0:03:54   deer (?)-p,v,c

   This is an _extreme_ closeup: only the genitals are visible. God only 
   knows how they film this stuff. God only knows whether they have any job 
   openings, for that matter. :)

0:03:55           Thompson's gazelles-c

   Partially-erect penis is visible briefly.

0:03:56-0:04:12   lions-p,c

   Best lion penis scenes on this tape. Full erection.

0:04:13-0:04:24   turtles-c

   Like it says. :)

0:04:45-0:04:56   hippos-c,v [PITW is clearer]

   The vulva is seen briefly when the female swishes her tail; the 
   copulation takes place in the water; therefore, little is seen.

0:05:35-0:07:52   mandrill-p,m,c

   This segment marks the beginning of the detailed footage. It opens with 
   a male mandrill stroking his genitals and getting an erection. He then 
   masturbates while a female presents her posterior to him. He continues 
   to masturbate, first with his hand, then by thrusting between his feet. 
   There are a few brief close-ups of the female's genitals, followed by a 
   few mating scenes. [Technical note: the sound effects are of 
   chimpanzees, not mandrills. :) ]

0:09:22-0:12:15   elephants-v,p,u,c,e [PITW is clearer, but less explicit]

   This segment opens with some courtship footage, then a close-up of the 
   female's breasts. A male explores a female's vulva with his trunk. She 
   urinates (close-up); the male follows suit (close-up). Close-up of 
   fully-dropped penis being stroked by female's trunk. Another close-up of 
   penis, practically dragging the ground. Two males probe a female's vulva 
   with their trunks. Another penis close-up. A male jockeys for position 
   on a female's back; his penis probes around until it finds her vulva. 
   After a brief mating scene, he withdraws. The male quickly returns to 
   the female and, after some more jockeying, mounts her again. His penis 
   probes her hips, trailing long sticky strings of semen, until he finds 
   her vulva and penetrates her. Much screaming as they copulate. Close-up 
   of dripping vulva after he withdraws.

0:13:25-0:15:05   rabbits-c,v,p

   Rabbits court in a large grassy area. Several mating scenes, including 
   numerous close-ups of penis, vulva and penetration, mostly from below, 
   through a pane of glass on which the rabbits have been placed.

0:16:15-0:18:42   tigers-u,p,c [PITW is clearer]

   Good stuff. A long courtship scene opens the segment. The male squats 
   and urinates on the cement floor; there is a close-up of his urine 
   stream and partially-erect penis. A brief close-up of the female's 
   vulva. More courting, followed by a close-up of the partially erect 
   penis. A copulation scene, seen from the side and front. Good 
   penetration visible from rear. Another copulation scene, different view. 
   The male runs around the cage for a while, obviously happy. They 
   copulate again; good close-up of penis and penetration. Penetration and 
   thrusting seen directly from rear. Good shot of withdrawal; erect penis 
   visible. Female sprawls while male paces again.

0:19:04-0:23:24   snails-p,c,b

   Two snails copulate in an aquarium, then one lays a cluster of eggs, 
   which are later seen hatching. BTW, in some species, a snail's penis can 
   be several times longer than its body (it's coiled up inside the shell 
   when not in use). Just thought I'd let you know. :)

0:23:25-0:25:15   cattle-p,v,c

   A white bull courts a female. Close-up of cow's vulva, which the bull 
   licks. Close-up of penis. Bull mounts wrong end of cow. :) Bull mounts 
   female correctly; close up of erection and penetration. Scenes of full 
   penetration and dripping vulva. Slow-motion closeup of erect penis, 
   penetration, thrusting, and wihdrawal. Another copulation; closeup of 
   penis and penetration. Scrotum rises and slaps against the female's 
   hips. Fluid seen dripping down shaft. Closeup of penis withdrawing into 
   sheath.

0:26:17-0:28:00   porcupines-v,p,c

   White (albino?) male porcupine courts black-and-white female. Close-ups 
   of vulva and penis. Male rises and mounts female. Close-up of 
   penetration and thrusting. Several mountings. Another close-up of vulva 
   and extreme closeups of penetration and thrusting by penis.

0:29:23-0:31:56   donkeys-v,a,p,c

   Donkey stallion courts female through steel fence. Close-up of anus and 
   winking vulva. Closeups of penis, erection, and flare. Another close-up 
   of winking vulva. Stallion tries to reach mare; he rises up and tries to 
   mount her through the fence. Female is released into male's pen; male 
   mounts her and rides around for a while before re-achieveing erection. 
   Brief penetration scene, followed by withdrawal and a close-up of 
   winking and dripping vulva. Full copulation scene, with graphic closeups 
   of penetration and thrusting. Underside of penis can be seen pulsing as 
   he ejaculates.

0:32:35-0:34:47   baboons-v,c,p [PITW is clearer, but less explicit]

   Various scenes of playing baboons. Close-up of female genitals. Three 
   copulation scenes. Male with erection. Another copulation, seen from 
   below. Males with erections. A male grooms and is groomed by a female; 
   he gets an erection. A male grooms a female's genitals. A female 
   explores and licks a male's penis. Close-ups of erect penises; one 
   twitches briefly.

0:36:27-0:37:38   terrapins-p,c

   Terrapins are a kind of soft-shelled turtle. Not very erotic, you may 
   say, but the shape of the male's penis is described as "une etrange 
   fleur noir" ("a strange black flower"): a very apt description, and very 
   interesting to look at: soft, pointed wings fan out from the glans, 
   like...well, like nothing I've ever seen. Makes you wonder how it must 
   feel to the female. Close-ups of vulva, penis, penetration, and 
   thrusting. A regular turtle is then shown laying eggs.

0:40:38-0:42:23   deer-u,v,p,c

   One of my favorite scenes (of course :). Roe deer gather in a forest and 
   then in a large pen. Rutting male wallows in mudpit. Doe urinates. 
   Close-up of vulva and erect penis. Extreme close-up of penetration and 
   thrusting. Close-up of erect, dripping penis. Gang copulation. Several 
   males with erections follow and mount several females. Doe squats after 
   copulation and is immediately pursued and mounted by another (several?) 
   bucks.  A male mounts another male who is mounting a female. A male 
   mounts another male and appears to thrust into him. A male with an 
   erection follows a retreating female.

0:42:50-0:44:43   earthworms-c

   Just like it says. Two earthworms copulate, then lay "eggs," which hatch. 
   Earthworms are hermaphrodites: they each bear young.

0:46:20-0:48:34   [rock?] hyrax-p,u,v,c

   The segment opens with a courtship scene. A male with an erection 
   urinates on a female and cups his hand over the end of his penis. More 
   courting. More urination. Close-up of erect penis. Close-up of vulva and 
   erect penis. Close-up of penetration and thrusting. More close-ups, from 
   below, through a pane of glass. Lengthy thrusting. Close-up of 
   penetration.

0:49:18-0:51:25   ducks-c,p,v

   Courting ducks in pond. Close-up of penis entering vagina. Close-up of 
   erect penis. Close-up of penis and penetration. Drake mounts female, 
   then withdraws. Several mounting scenes in water.

0:51:45-0:52:42   goats-p,a,v,c

   Goats courting in large pen. Doe's udder, vulva, anus distantly visible. 
   Close-ups of penis. Buck mounts doe; close-up of penetration and 
   thrusting. More close-ups of copulation. Udder and swinging scrotum 
   visible during mating.

0:52:55-0:54:50   wild ass (onager?)-v,p,c

   Courting. Closeup of vulva. Male mounts and rides female prior to 
   erection. Male chases female around pen; holds her by the tail. Male 
   gets erection. Close-up of vulva. Copulation scene. Numerous close-ups 
   of penetration and thrusting. Stallion withdraws. Close-up of dripping 
   penis. Close-up of winking and dripping vulva.

0:55:30-0:58:05   Siamese fighting fish-c

   Like it says. Male and female Siamese fighting fish curl around each 
   other and copulate. Female lays eggs in water.

1:00:22-1:01:45   snowy egrets-c,p,v

   Snowy egrets build nest in tree. Egrets court and form pair bonds. Male 
   mounts female. Close-up of penis entering vagina. Lengthy thrusting, 
   seen from several angles. Another brief close-up of coupling. Eggs in 
   nest. Another species of egrets copulate in a different tree; no 
   close-ups shown.

1:02:24-1:04:53   kangaroos-p,c,e [PITW is clearer, but less explicit]

   Kangaroos (probably wallabies) in a zoo. Male inspects female's 
   genitals. Male with erection. Close-up of erection. Male licks and 
   strokes own erection. Close-ups of twitching penis and scrotum.  Male 
   mounts female, hangs on for dear life as she runs around. Male thrusts 
   into female. Close-up of penetration and thrusting, seen from behind and 
   underneath. Long string of spooge dangles from female's vulva. Close-up 
   of male with (I presume) post-copulatory plug on penis. Close-up of 
   receding erection.

1:04:59-1:07:20   tigress-b [PITW is clearer]

   Tigress gives birth in secluded cage. Close-ups of vulva and emerging 
   cubs. Tigress licks, grooms, and nurses cubs.

1:09:25-1:09:48   tortoises-c

   Full-body shot, followed by close-up of penis thrusting into vagina.

(The film closes with brief excerpts from some of the previous scenes 
described above: kangaroos, lions, goats, etc.)

============================================================================


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Videos: Animals #1 | Animals #2 | Animals #3 | Animals #4 | Animals #5 | Comme des Betes | Animal Husbandry | Zebras


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