Looking Through The Lens

http://www.asstr.org/~ryansylander/

Chapter 10: I Can't Quit You, Babe

Back Home

Just like that, it was time to go to Montauk.� We would be there for three weeks, as usual.� I was anxious and excited about what the trip would bring.� I was taking my guitar, of course, but I had also packed one of my dad�s old cameras.� Melissa had selected one that he used for everyday shooting, and suggested I try using that one if I want to learn more about taking pictures with �real cameras,� as she put it.� She put together a padded bag with lenses and a black camera body, and promised to show me how to work it when we got to my aunt�s place.

As we pulled up to the old weathered house on the beach, a wave of feelings rushed over me.� It was going to be hard seeing the places Julie and I had hung out at.� Our time together in Montauk itself had been good.� The bad stuff mostly started after I left.�

After we settled in and ate dinner the first night, Lara and I went for a walk on the beach.

�Ah, it�s good to be here... The water looks great,� she said, sweeping an arm towards the low waves.

�Yeah, I never look forward to seeing the ocean, but when we get here, it is nice.�

�Mm hmm.� So... what are you going to do about Julie?�

�Well, I�ve been thinking maybe I should just talk to her, so we can work things out.� But then again, I don�t know.� It could be a bit awkward.�

�You think?� she asked sarcastically.

�Okay, yeah, I know.� But I really should talk to her, though.�

�You�d probably feel better clearing the air,� she agreed.

�I guess.� What about you?�� I asked.

�And James?�

�Or Julie�� I prodded.

�I don�t know.� If things are weird between Julie and you, then I don�t think the three of us should get together.�� Lara giggled impulsively.

�Lara!� What�s this obsession all about?�

Since our swim a few weeks ago, Lara�s newest tease was suggesting a threesome with Julie.� It was still weird, no matter how many times she joked about it.� There would be no getting used to intimations of me, my sister, and my ex getting together.

�I just meant hanging out!� What did you think I meant?�� Lara grinned at me.

�Oh.� I thought you meant something else.� Forget it.�

�Is that all you ever think about?� she asked.

�Excuse me?� That�s rather strange, coming from you.�

�What are you saying?�

�Nothing.� That�s all you talk about lately, though.�

�All I talk about?� I�ve joked about it maybe four times.� Sometimes I just like to see you squirm,� she said with a laugh.

�Well, it�s still weird.� I don�t see why you can�t pick something else to joke about.�

Lara didn�t say anything.� She just shrugged and smiled.

�You are kidding when you say it, right?� I asked.

�Yes��� Her tone seemed to leave the word dangling in the night, though.

�But�?� I said after a moment.

�That is kind of a fantasy of mine,� she said with reined excitement.

I started protesting.� �Lara!� I thought you said��

�I just mean being with both a guy and girl at the same time, not with you!� Chill.�

�Oh, all right.�� I relaxed again.

�Would you do it?� she asked, and then added quickly as she saw my face, �I don�t mean with Julie and me, just two girls.�

�Well�� I don�t know anyone who wouldn�t, but it seems like a total mess.� I have a hard enough time figuring out one girl at a time.� I don�t know that two would work out at all.�

�Well, our parents did it,� Lara pointed out.

I thought for a moment.� �I guess it would have to be something everyone was committed to.�

�Mm hm.�

�So are you going to call James then?� I asked, shaking the graphic images that were filling my head.

�Sure.� What about you?�

�I�m going to try and find Heather tomorrow.� I don�t know what to do about Julie though.�

�Well, you�ll figure something out,� she said confidently.

�Glad you think so, at least.�� I wasn�t so sure.

The next morning I got up early and gathered up my fishing gear.� I hadn�t slept much.� I was imagining meeting Heather on the pier, and wondering what to say to her.� When light started seeping through the cracks of the blinds, I decided to go wait on the pier instead of tossing and turning on the bed.

As I walked there, I felt quite nervous.� The chances of seeing her there were slim, but it wasn�t impossible.� It had been a long time since last summer.� Who knew what had happened to her since then?� I had been through some interesting times, for sure.

No one was on the pier when I got there, so I walked to the end and set up my rod.� As I leaned against the railing, I couldn�t help turning around every few minutes to check the length of planks.� I caught several fish right away, which was nice.� Maybe my luck would be good this year.� Last year, every time I had fished with Heather she had caught five times as many fish as I had.

A few hours went by.� A family came and went, and a few other people were now fishing along the railing.� Every time I saw a person walking down the pier, my heart jumped.� But it wasn�t Heather.

I caught a good number of fish, but eventually the sun was getting high and hot, so I decided to head back home.� I was disappointed that Heather hadn�t come down.� But then again, there were hundreds of fishing places in Montauk, so it was unlikely that I would just run into her again by chance.� I had to take matters into my own hands if I wanted to see her.�

Still, a part of me had been hoping that she had been coming to the pier every morning since the beginning of summer, to see if I was back in town.� Obviously not.

That afternoon, I took one of the bikes and pedaled into town.� It was a moderate ride to get to the group of shops where Martin�s fish market sat on the waterfront.� As I leaned the orange bike up against the weathered green clapboards, I tried to compose myself.�

I walked in and looked around.� Two guys were working behind the counter, and there were several people waiting to get fish.� I got in line, anxiously looking around as people came and went.� Finally, it was my turn to step up.

�Help you?�

�Yeah, um, I was wondering if Heather was here today?�

�Which Heather?�

�Uh, Heather Martin.�� My voice sounded rather uneasy at saying her name aloud.

�No, they all went on vacation.�

�Oh.� Do you know when she�ll be back?�

�Um, let me check.� Hey, Jimmy, when is Angus coming back?�

�Next week sometime.�

�Next week sometime,� the guy repeated, even though Jimmy was only ten feet away.

�Right, thanks.�

�No problem.� Next!�

I went out and sat on a bench.� I couldn�t help feeling disappointed.� What was I going to do for a week?�

�Why don�t you call her?� asked Lara, as we sat on the porch late that night.

�Call her?�

�Well, she gave you her number in Idaho.� Maybe she went back there.�

�Ohio.�

�Whatever.� Do you still have it?�

�Of course I do,� I said a little too enthusiastically.�

Lara laughed.� �Of course you do,� she mimicked.� �Do you sleep with it under your pillow, too?�

�Fuck off.�

I didn�t feel comfortable calling.� That would look desperate, which I wasn�t... yet.� I�d just wait it out.�

In the meantime, Lara had convinced me that I should try to work things out with Julie.� I didn�t really feel like opening up those old feelings again, since I had somewhat moved on.� But Lara was being persistent about it.� I wondered whether she had my interests in mind, or maybe she wanted to see Julie again herself, and was holding back because of me.� Either way, she was probably right; speaking with Julie would be good in the long run.� If I was going to call her at all, it was best to get it out of the way now, so I didn�t have to deal with it later when Heather was back.

�I guess I�ll call Julie tomorrow,� I said.

�Cool.� I think that�s great.�

�Did you talk to James?� I asked, eager to find out how her summer fling was shaping up.

�Yeah, he�s coming over tomorrow evening to swim and eat dinner.�

�Are you gonna pick up right where you left off?�

�Nah, I think we�ll take it slow.� We�re here for three weeks.� There�s plenty of time to warm things up.�� Her tone implied otherwise, though.

I laughed.� �Whatever.� I predict three days.�

�Three days what?�

�That you�ll be screwing at the tennis courts in three days.�

Lara laughed.� �We�ll see!�

�Loser does dishes for the rest of the trip,� I challenged.

Lara looked at me, impressed.� �Wow, you�re confident!�

�Deal?� I asked.

Lara appraised me for a moment.

�Fine, deal.�

The next morning I called Julie.� I only dialed and quickly hung up once.� The second time I called, I let it ring.

�Hello?�

�Yeah, hello, is Julie there?�

�Who�s calling?�

�It�s� uh� Matt.�� Well, there was no hanging up now.

�Okay, Uhh-Matt, let me get her.�

There was some clunking, and then I heard muted voices in the back.� After a long time, I heard the phone pick up.

�Hello?� Julie�s voice was bubbly.

�Hey.�

A brief pause.

�Who is it?�� I guess her mom hadn�t told her.� I could still hang up.

�It�s Matt.�

A longer pause.

�Matt?�

�Yeah.�

�Wow� um, how are you?� Where are you?�

�At my aunt�s.� Back in town for a few weeks.�

Julie didn�t say anything.

�Um, I was just calling to see what�s up,� I said quickly, to fill the gap.�

�Not much�� What about you?�

Flowing below this simple and polite conversation was a thunderous torrent of unspoken words.

�What are you doing tonight?� I asked.� I didn�t feel like beating around the bush with her.

�I�m not sure.�

�Do you want to come by the house?� Lara is here too, and James will be coming by.�

�I� I don�t know.�

�I just thought we could talk.�

Some silence.

�All right.� What time?�

�Like around seven.�� I should be done with dinner by then.��

I didn�t really want to invite her for dinner.� I knew that would be a total bug-in-the-box moment, with my aunt and two mothers watching Julie and me interacting like some social experiment gone wrong.

�All right.� I�ll see you then,� she said.

I hung up the phone, and took a deep breath.� Things were in motion now.

After dinner, James and Lara changed and went out for a swim.� They asked if I wanted to swim too, but I didn�t want to be in the water when Julie arrived, so I just sat on the beach and watched them.� I was pretty sure I�d be right about my prediction, seeing the way they were flirting in the sea.

I wondered how James and Lara made it so easy.� As far as I knew, they hadn�t communicated much over the year, if at all.� There had been no effort to stay in touch, or keep up with what the other was doing.� Yet here they were, just like the year before... just like Lara had never left.�

I was just starting to ponder what lesson there was in that, when I heard Julie approach.

�Hi,� she said.�

I stood up quickly, and brushed the sand off of my shorts.�

�Hey.�� There was an awkward moment as I wondered what to do.� My heart said to give her a hug, but my head said not to.� I decided against the hug.

�Want to walk?� I asked, pointing down the beach.

�Sure.�

We started off towards the pier, the sun just starting to turn red behind us.� She looked good, I thought to myself.� Really good.� Older, and more�developed.� It pained me to think of how I had lost her.� I had been expecting to feel anger when I saw her, but all I felt was sadness and longing.� I should have made more of an effort to keep her, I thought sorrowfully.� All those times I couldn�t even manage a couple of pathetic paragraphs to her... No wonder she had started looking elsewhere.

�I guess you didn�t know I was coming this summer?� I asked.

�No, I knew,� she admitted.� �I saw your aunt the other day, and she told me that you and Lara were coming.�

�But you seemed surprised when I called.�

�I was.� I... I didn�t think you�d ever want to talk to me again.�

�Oh.� Well, you know, a few months ago I thought the same thing.�

Julie was silent.

�But Lara convinced me to talk to you,� I added.

�How is she doing?� Looks like she and James are picking up where they left off.�� Julie glanced back at the two distant figures floating in the water.� It looked more like one figure.� Three days, I reminded myself, almost grinning.

�Yeah, just like old times,� I said.�

�Just like old times,� she echoed quietly.�

We walked for a while in silence.� Sadness washed through me as I remembered happier walks with Julie on the beach.

�How are you doing?� she asked at last.

I shrugged.� �Better,� I admitted.

The closer we got to the issue we were skirting, the more awkward the silence became.

�I guess you got my letter,� she said, all in a rush.

�Yeah.�

�I�m not with Brian anymore.�

Why was she telling me that?

�Is that supposed to make me feel better?� I asked.

�I don�t know� No, I was just�telling you.�

�All right,� I said simply.

Julie stopped walking and looked at me.� �Aren�t you going to yell at me or something?�

�Yell at you?�� I suddenly felt bad.� Was that why she thought I called?

�Well, I thought since you called me, you probably wanted to tell me what a bitch I am.�

�Julie��

�No, go ahead, I deserve it...�

�I�m not��

��because I really liked you, Matt, and then I went and did something really stupid��

�Julie��

��so if you want to yell at me, just do it now and��

�JULIE!�

She stopped talking and looked at me.

�Sorry, but that�s all the yelling you�re going to hear from me, all right?� I said quietly.� All I wanted to do was hug her.�

But she cheated on you, a voice in my head reminded me.�

�I guess you want to talk about it,� I said quietly.� �Just tell me one thing, then.� Why did you do it?�

�I don�t know�� she said, looking down at the sand.� �I really missed you.�

�You missed me, so you went and cheated on me?� That�s a fucked up way of showing it!�

�I know!� she said, her eyes full of shame.� �It was a mistake.� I was drunk, and it was so long since you left, and��� She stopped, shaking her head and picking at a chip of driftwood with her shoe.

�And Brian was available?�

�He was wanting to go out with me for so long, but I always told him I was with you.� But that night I couldn�t keep him away.� He kept giving me more beers, and shots.�

�How old is he?� I asked.�

�He just graduated in June.�

I took a deep breath.� What was it with her and older guys?

�So that�s why you�re not with him anymore?� I asked.

�No!� He�s still around, but I just don�t want to be with him.�

�Why not?�

�I don�t know�� I just couldn�t be with him anymore.�� She seemed to be evading the question, but I didn�t press her.

�What pisses me off the most is that you didn�t tell me right away,� I said.� There was no heat in my voice, though, as I looked at her big, shiny, brown eyes.�

�I know, I should have told you right after it happened, but I was scared,� she said.� �Brian just assumed that we were together after that night, and I couldn�t tell you it was a mistake if I was still with him.� But� then I was stuck, and he was really possessive and everything, and I just kept thinking somehow things would work out.�

�Work out?� What does that even mean, after you cheat?�

�Yeah, I don�t know.� I was stupid.�

�Well, I�ve kind of moved on, so�� I said stoically.

�Oh.�� Julie was quiet.� �So you have a girlfriend back home, then?�

I hesitated for a moment.� �No, it's just that I�ve moved on about what happened.�

�Why did you call me then?�

�I don�t know.� I just thought we could, you know, tie up the loose ends.�

�What does that mean?� she asked.

I wasn�t too sure myself.� I was making this up as I went along.

�I didn�t want to leave things hanging between us.� Despite what happened, last summer was a time I�ll never forget.� Yeah, I wasn�t real happy when I found out about Brian, but it�s in the past now.� I can either hate you, or I can forgive you and move on.�

I wasn�t sure where that had come from, but I thought it sounded good.� Julie was looking at me with wet eyes.

�S-So you don�t hate me?� she asked softly.

�No, Julie, I don�t hate you.�

�Can we still be friends?�

I looked at her for a moment, considering.� Finally I squashed the warning voice in my head away for good.

�Yeah, of course.�

She stood there like she was balancing on the edge of a cliff.� We looked in each other�s eyes for a long time.�

This time my heart won, and I took her into an embrace.� She hugged me like I had saved her life.

For a long time, we held each other, swaying gently to the sound of the waves.� I felt oddly conflicted.� It was unexpectedly nice to hold Julie in my arms.� I never thought that would happen again.� On the other hand, the whole talk we had just had seemed surreal.� There was no mention of her relationship with Lara, nor any talk of John, although that was admittedly not directly part of our problem.

Yet as I held her, I remembered those great summer days with her the previous year, when we had gone to Becky�s house and first fooled around seriously.� And the second time at Becky�s, that night when we had first had sex (sort of), and Becky�s family had suddenly come home from vacation while we were nude on their couch.� A crazy evening.

Suddenly I remembered that Becky had known we were there.� Butterflies fluttered inside my middle, and then landed again.� I had never told Julie about that.� I wondered if she�d ever found out about it from Becky.� If they even spoke again after that day�� I realized I had secrets of my own.

�I really am sorry, Matt,� Julie whispered.� �I don�t know how you can even forgive me.�

�Well I�ve had a chance to work things out over the last half year.� It was a difficult springtime,� I admitted.

�I can imagine.�

She had no idea, but I still said, �I�m sure you can.�

She pulled away from me.� �Do you want to go to the pier?� she asked.

I shrugged.� �Sure.�

We walked the last part of the beach in silence, and then strolled down the weathered boards to the gazebo that sat halfway to the end.� The sun was a brilliant red, bathing Julie in a soft, warm light.� She gave me a small smile as we sat on the bench.� I wished I had my camera to capture her face in this light.�

Could things go back to how they used to be, between Julie and me, after all that had happened?� It did not seem reasonable.� Yet seeing her in person reminded me how much I liked being with her the year before.� The cheating caricature I had built up of her in the months following her letter didn�t at all resemble the soft, beautiful girl I was sitting next to.

But what of Heather?� I had chosen to come to Montauk to see her.� After all, it had been Heather who had gotten me out of my long funk, however indirectly.� I had hopes of hanging out with her, and if I got back together with Julie, it would be hard to find the time to see Heather, let alone explain to Julie why I was hanging out with another girl.

I looked at Julie in the fading light.� She had no makeup on, and her brown hair was loosely done up into a ponytail, with a few strands loose and framing her face.� She was quite pretty.� Gorgeous, really.

She smiled at me when she noticed me watching her.� Her face lit up when she smiled, and I decided I couldn�t be angry with her.

We sat and watched the sun penetrate the horizon.�

Lara wasn�t home when I got back that night.� I was looking over the camera I had brought, figuring out what the different parts seemed to do.� Melissa was going to show me some basics the next morning, but I figured I�d take a gentle head start and play with the controls.

The screen door popped open and Lara bounced in, smiling ear to ear.

I stared at her for a second.

�Did you�?� I asked, my brow furrowed.

She just looked at me with a grin, and then announced, �No, but it�s good to be back in Montauk!�

I laughed.� �Damn, I thought I was off of dish duty for the trip.�

�Let�s go swim,� she said.

�Right now?� It�s dark!�

�So what?� The waves are low, the moon is out, and the water�s warm!�� She sounded like she was in an old movie.� I half expected her to twirl around and float out the door.

�All right then, let�s go.�

I packed the camera up in the bag while Lara checked in with our parents, and then we went down to the sand.

�So what happened with Julie?� she asked, before I could ask about her night.

�It went unexpectedly well,� I admitted.

I recounted the initial encounter briefly, as we stripped to our bathing suits.

�Then we went to the pier and watched the sunset,� I continued.� �It was good to see her.� I felt completely different than I thought I would when I saw her.�

�Are you saying you�re getting back together?� Lara asked.�

�No, but by the time the sun disappeared, it started feeling like last summer, just a little bit.�

We waded in a few yards and sat in the shallows.� Small moon-glinted waves pushed the sand back and forth around us.� The air was just right for a night swim.

�Julie puts a spell on people,� Lara said.� �Every time I see her after coming back, I can�t help but love her.� How did you leave things?�

�I just walked her home, and then she was like, �See you around.�� So I guess it�s up to me to call her if I want.�

�Well, that�s good, Matt!� I�m glad it went well for you.� Are you going to call her?�

�I don�t know.�

�What about Heather?� she asked.�

I smiled.� Lara had read my thoughts.

�Yeah, well, there�s that too.� But then again, what about her?� If anything, I should learn something from last year, you know?� When I was waiting around for Julie, I didn�t bother with Carmen, or anyone else.� So now what, am I going to wait around for Heather and not be with Julie?� I mean, Heather could hate me, or she could have a boyfriend, or any number of things.�

�Well, you sure have a different attitude about it, all of a sudden.�

�What do you mean, different attitude?�

�The last few weeks it�s been all �When we get to Montauk, Heather this, Heather that,� and now you see Julie for an hour, and it�s all changed.�

�No, not really,� I said, though I was not very committed to my words.

�Matt, I can see it in your eyes, and hear it in your voice.� Julie�s got a hold on you, boy.� Again.�

�Well, whatever.� I don�t think anything�s going to happen.�

�But what if things go that way?� Are you going to let them?�

I sighed.� �I do miss being with her, despite everything.� I don�t know what she�s thinking, though.�

�Well, what are you thinking?�

�I don�t know that, either.�

�All right, fair enough.�

We listened to the waves for a moment, and then I turned the conversation her way.�

�So what�s up with you and James?�

�We just took a walk.�

She didn�t go on, so I looked at her.

�And�?� I prodded.

�Aren�t you afraid of �picturing me,� if I tell you the details?� she teased.

�No, I think we�ve moved on from there,� I said with confidence.

�All right.� So we went to the tennis courts.� He didn�t have any condoms, but we were both all worked up from, you know, all the groping in the ocean.�� Lara watched me as she spoke, like she was experimenting on some caged animal.

�Go on,� I said nonchalantly, as she had paused again.

�You�re different tonight,� she said.

�You said so already.� What�s your point?�

�Nothing, it�s just cool.� You seem relaxed.�

�So usually I�m an uptight prick?�

�Well ��

�Forget it, don�t even answer that,� I interrupted.

�I was going to say you usually aren�t,� Lara said sweetly.

�Sure you were... Wait, �usually?� � I said, splashing her lightly.� She just giggled.� �Anyway, get on with the story.�

�All right, all right.� So, yeah, we went to the courts, and� are you sure you want the details?�

I rolled my eyes up at the sky and patiently folded my arms across my chest.

�I gave James a blowjob.�

I looked at her sidelong with arched brow, and a small grin.� �Heh, heh, looks like you�re doing dishes!� I said evilly, raising my arms.� �He wins it!�

�No, we didn�t have sex,� Lara countered, �so you haven�t won shit!�

�But��

�No!� A blowjob does not count.�

�Well�� All right, fine.� So how was it?� I asked.

�It was good.� You should try it sometime,� she said.

�Nah, I don�t think I�ll be giving any blowjobs,� I said.

�I meant you should try having someone give you one, dumb ass.�

�Oh, right.�

�So then he returned the favor,� she continued.

�He gave you a blowjob?� I asked, laughing.� �When did you grow your own?�

�Oh shut up!� He, you know, licked me down there, and used his fingers.�

�Does that feel good?�

�It was all right.� He doesn�t really know what he�s doing, though.� After being with Julie, it wasn�t nearly as good��� Her voice trailed off.� �Sorry, I didn�t mean to bring that up.�

�No, it�s fine.� Is that what you and Julie do?�

�Yeah, usually.� I mean, back when we were together, you know,� she added quickly.

�What�s it like?�

�What�s what like?�

�Licking her.� Down there.�

�Well, it�s better getting licked than doing the licking, I think.�

�Do you just move your tongue in and out of the hole?�

�You make it sound so� so clinical!� Lara laughed.

�I�m just wondering!� I�ve never even gotten a good close look at a real vagina, so I�m having trouble picturing what you do.�

�Well, there are different parts that feel good when you touch them.� Like the clitoris feels really good when you lick it.�

�I don�t even know where that is,� I admitted, a bit sheepishly.

�Weren�t you paying attention in sex ed.?� Lara scolded.

�Yeah, maybe, but I don�t remember them teaching us how to dine on pussy.�

Lara laughed.� �You must have been absent that day,� she said.

She jumped up and stood in front of me, gesturing to an invisible something next to her.

�The clitoris is exterior of the vaginal opening, nestled here between the labia,� she said dramatically, imitating our eighth grade health teacher.�

I had to laugh at the accuracy of her accent and tone.�

�Now, boys � and Lara � take your tongue and gently lick the sample vinyl clitorises you have been provided with.� Oh, excellent technique, Lara!� An �A� for the day!�

�Hey, Mr. Quigley, go fix your toupee!� I called out.

�Mr. Jackson-Birch, how disrespectful,� she scolded.� �To the principal�s office at once!�

�Oh, fuck off, you old perv!�

I tackled Lara around the waist and threw her into the water.� We splashed and wrestled each other until we were waterlogged.� We came up sputtering and laughing.

�Shit, that was funny,� I said, catching my breath.

�Quigley, I tell you, that guy was a trip,� Lara said, as we lay down in the sand again.

�Yeah.� Too bad he died,� I suddenly remembered.

�Yeah, lung cancer.� Ironic, isn�t it, for a health teacher?�

�He probably partied hard too, even though he looked like a total stiff.� He was always a weird dude; I wasn�t surprised that his other job was smoking.�

�Yeah, that�s messed up.�

There was a moment of silence for Quigley.

�Anyway,� I said, �I�m serious.� Tell me something I can use next time I�m lip to lip with a vagina.�

�Planning to try it out on Julie?� Lara asked playfully.

�No, that�s unlikely.� But someday it may come in handy.�

�Well, Julie really likes it when you start gently, by licking all around her sensitive parts.� Don�t let her pull you into her.� Just tease her and avoid her clitoris at first.� God, it feels weird saying �clitoris� out loud.� Sounds like we�re at the doctor�s office or something.�

�So where exactly is the clit?�

�Okay, so if you�re looking at a vagina, from top down, you have the hair, then the lips start, and right where they start, the clit is in there.� It�s a little�bump-like thing.�

Lara�s voice caught for a second.� I looked over at her.� She had her hand down her bathing suit, and was feeling herself.� I almost teased her about it, but that would probably be going somewhere I wasn�t going to feel too comfortable with.

�Then below that you have the lips some more,� she continued, �and then the opening, you know, where your penis should go.�

�Yeah, I got that part, thanks.�

�Just making sure.�

�Right.� Go on then.�

�Well, I don�t know, after you tease her long enough, when you finally lick or rub her clit with your finger, she really goes crazy.� It feels amazing.�

What was amazing to me was that this whole relationship between Julie and Lara had gone on and I had no idea.� Lara suddenly seemed so much more experienced with sex than me.� She could describe things that Julie liked.� I tried to think back to what I had noticed, but the only thing that stuck out in my head was licking her nipples.� The rest had been just carnal enthusiasm.

�Okay, it�s your turn,� Lara said abruptly.

�My turn?� I asked.

�What do guys like?�

�Um� anything.�

�Heh, funny.� What do you like?�

�Why do you want to know?� I asked suspiciously.

�Like you said, it may come in handy.�

�Well��

What did I like?� Again, I felt greatly inexperienced.

�I guess the tip is the most sensitive part, so that�s one thing.�

�What did you really like doing with Julie?�

�Lara, I don�t know!� I haven�t thought about it.�

�All right, don�t get all excited on me!�

�Sorry, it�s just something I never even thought of.� I guess it�s pretty easy to turn on a guy, so everything is good, pretty much.� That�s probably not what you�re looking for, but I don�t have any supermarket magazine tricks to offer.�

Lara laughed a little.� �Well, that�s cool.� I didn�t know if there was something that drove you crazy.�

�I�ll try and make a note next time I�m in a situation.� Just for you.�

�Yeah, you should get a notebook, and when you and Julie get together, stop and take notes of what you like.�

�Lara, that�s fucking retarded.� And also, I�m not getting back together with Julie.�

�Three days.�

�What?�

�Three days, and you and Julie are back together.�

�What?�� I laughed.

�I just know.� Three days.�

I opened my mouth to protest, but I didn�t have an argument.� I was surprised to find myself wondering for a moment if she was going to win her bet.

I didn�t call Julie for a few days.� I had decided that I would try and outlast Lara�s prediction, and not be so weak.� Besides, I didn�t want to do dishes for three weeks.�

The surest way to win the bet was to avoid calling Julie.� I wasn�t sure that if I started hanging out with her that I would be able to outlast three days, if she was willing to get back together.� Lara was right; she was starting to get a hold on me again.

Meanwhile, Lara and James were definitely back to old times.� Two nights after our beach talk, they had escaped to the courts at dusk.� I was sleeping by the time Lara got back, but the next morning I could tell from her face that I had predicted well, and that Lara was going to be getting familiar with the sink.� That was, of course, only if I did not cave in with Julie.

Lara kept pestering me to call her, it being the third day of her own three-day prediction.� She was getting worried that she was going to lose.� Lara was pretty competitive sometimes, and this game was no exception.�

If I didn�t get together with Julie by that evening, I would win and Lara was on dish duty the rest of the vacation.� If Julie and I did get back together, then the game was a wash and we split dishes as usual.

�So the three days doesn�t start until you actually call her,� Lara said.

�You can�t change the rules now!� I protested.

�Sure I can.� Otherwise, what�s the point?� You can�t just not call her!� Where�s the challenge in that?�

We went back and forth like siblings for a bit.� Finally, I compromised.

�All right.� I�ll call her today.� But today is the last of your three days.�

Lara considered the offer for a moment.

�Fine.� Call her right now.�

�Fine.�

I called Julie, and she agreed to come over.� It would be pretty easy holding out for one evening.

�So, do you want to go to a party tonight?� Julie asked me as we floated in the waves.� Lara and James were lying in the sun up on the beach.

�A party?�

�Yeah, I thought it might be fun, and you could meet some of my friends.�

�Uh, I don�t know�� Will Brian be there?�

�Brian?� I don�t know.� It�s fine... we aren�t together, Matt.�

�Yeah, but you said he was kind of possessive.� He may think I�m with you or something.�� I slyly slipped that last bit in there just to keep her at bay.

Julie sized me up for a moment, ignoring the comment.� �You could take him.�

�Take him?� I�m not interested in fighting anyone!�

�I know, I�m just kidding.� Don�t worry, it will be fine.�

The party offered the temptation of alcohol, endless small talk with a bunch of people I didn�t know, and the possibility of bodily harm.� Why the hell was I even considering going?

Julie looked up at me with hopeful eyes.

�All right, sure,� I said quickly.�

�Cool!� It will be fun, I promise.�

I decided to go all out in the game with Lara, just to prove to her how strong I was.� So I hung out with Julie all day long, and I even invited her for dinner.� I was sure Lara was carefully watching us, thinking she was surely going to win her bet and save the extra chores.�

�So you and Julie are hanging out again,� Melissa mentioned casually after I had asked if Julie could eat dinner with us.

�Yeah, sort of.� Oh, yeah, we�re going to go out for a little while tonight, if that�s okay,� I said.

�Where to?�

�Just to some friend of hers' house for a little while, then we�ll be back.�

�Sounds like fun.� Are Lara and James going?��

�I think it�s just me and Julie,� I said.� �We�re just friends now,� I added, when my mom gave me a sidelong glance, eyebrows raised.

�Friends.�� She nodded as she thought about it.� �That�s good, Matt.�

I could almost hear her thoughts, saying �three days� as she watched me with a small smile.

After dinner, Julie and I walked to the house where the party was.�

�If you have any trouble with Brian, just let me know,� Julie said.

�But, I thought you said��

�I know.� It should be fine.� He probably won�t even be here.�

�All right.�� I considered asking if we could go back to my house, but she seemed excited about having me meet her friends.� I didn�t want to let her down.

The house was pretty crowded when we got there.� I was feeling paranoid about seeing Brian, but none of the guys there seemed to do more than look at Julie and me for a few moments.

Julie found her friends sitting around the kitchen table.� They were playing some drinking game with coins.�

�Hey, everyone, this is Matt,� Julie announced.� The four girls looked at me.� By their expressions, I could tell they had heard all about me.� They said hello and waved.

Julie motioned for me to sit in the empty chair, and then she squeezed in next to me.� One of the girls passed me a cup and a quarter.� I hesitated for a second, wondering if I should refuse.� Since school was over, I thought it wouldn�t hurt to participate.� I decided to play, but go easy on the drinking.

Julie pulled me out the back door.� There were a few couples outside in the dark corners, but mostly the party was contained inside for noise reasons.� The sudden quiet of the yard was welcome.� I was tired and buzzed, but had managed to control my beer consumption� amazingly.�

After playing quarters with her friends for a while (and Julie somehow ended up sitting on my lap to make room for a few others), we had wandered the house, meeting a few other people.� Everyone was cool, and there was no sign of Brian.� Against all my expectations, I had had a really good time, and was feeling relaxed and happy.

Julie took me over to a bench, and we sat near each other.� She looked at me with bright eyes.

�Thanks for coming tonight,� she said.

�No problem.�

She leaned in and kissed me gently.� Arousal shot through me like lightning, as I tasted her lips for the first time in a year.� Suddenly I pulled away.� Julie just watched me expectantly.

�I�m sorry,� I said.

�What�s wrong?�

�I� can�t.�

Julie turned away from me.

�Look, Julie,� I went on, turning her towards me again.� �I miss you.� Like crazy.� I didn�t even know how much until I saw you a few days ago.� But��

�There�s someone else, isn�t there?�

�No, it�s not that.�� I tried to put Heather out of my mind.� �I just�I mean, there�s like a lot we haven�t talked about.�

�Are you still angry about Brian?� she asked.

�No, I�m not angry.� But there are things that we should discuss,� I said vaguely.

�Like what?�� I could see some fear in her eyes.

�I don�t want to bring down your night.� Let�s just go back inside and have a good time.� We�ll talk more tomorrow, all right?�

�No, Matt, I don�t want to be inside.� I want to be with you.�

�I��

I almost said �I do too,� but I choked it off in time.

�Look, let�s talk tomorrow,� I said, instead.

�It�s about Brian, right?�

�No!� I swear.� Don�t worry, let�s just get another beer and hang out.�

Julie looked at me for a moment, considering something.� Then she leaned in close to my ear.

�Can I do something for you?� Make everything up to you?�

�Julie, you don�t have to do anything for me.�

�I want to.� No strings.� I owe you.� I thought you�d hate me for the rest of your life.� I just can�t believe that you are giving me another chance to be your... your friend.�

�Well...�

�Just come with me, Matt, please.�

�Julie...� I answered weakly as she caressed my chest.� Her hand was moving down.� Her touch was like a feather, but it left a searing tingle everywhere it went.� My resolve suddenly was not as strong as I thought.� It was being washed away like a sand castle at high tide.

�No strings, Matt.� Just a thank you.�

She stood and pulled me up.� She smiled and brought me into the house again.� Instead of going towards the living room, we turned left down the hall and into a bedroom.� Julie closed the door and locked it.

She pushed me down onto the bed, and sat next to me.� I started feeling that I was about to lose my bet with Lara.� But surely, I could wait just one more day?� I had to at least talk to her about her relationship with Lara, before anything happened.� Lara�s bet was secondary to the real reason I had to take it slow with Julie.� I wasn�t about to jump into another opportunity to get hurt.

�Julie, wait, wait.� This is bad.� It�s not right to do something out of guilt.�

�Matt, this isn�t about guilt.� There is nothing bad about this,� she said softly.

�I don�t see it that way.� If you really��

�I can�t believe you�re turning down a blowjob,� she whispered.

��want to show me that you are � Wait, what?�

I looked at her.� Julie just smiled innocently.� The sand castle was gone.� In its place was an unstoppably growing sense of arousal.� For a moment, a series of images flashed through my head: Heather on the pier, Lara and Julie naked in a bed, John and Julie having sex in a bathroom, Becky and me in my room, and me doing dishes.� Then, they were gone.� All I saw was Julie reaching for my zipper as I fell back on the bed.�

Julie pulled my shorts and boxers down around my thighs.� I was already completely hard as she ran her fingers over me.� I started to sit up to stop her, but then I just let myself relax again.�

Live in the moment...� She had said no strings, a voice reminded.� Another voice told me that it was too late: she had me wrapped up good.

Julie lowered her head towards my middle.� I braced for her lips to land on me, but all I felt was her breath.� The wait was agonizing, as she delicately caressed me.� She seemed to be examining it closely, gently stroking the smooth skin.

She gripped me tighter, and then she took me in.� The feeling of her wet mouth wrapped around me was incredible.� She slowly moved up and down, perhaps a bit tentatively.� But I wasn�t complaining; the sensation was unlike any other.

She slowly built up speed and pressure as I let out long breaths.� Deeper she took me, and now so perfectly enveloped by her mouth, I wasn�t sure how much longer I was going to last.� Not only had it been a long time since Julie and I had had sex, but we had never done this before either.�

The sight of her was quickly pushing me past the point of no return, but I couldn�t tear my eyes away.� I tensed up, trying to hold off as long as possible.� When Julie suddenly turned her eyes up to me, I wished I could capture the moment forever.� Her round brown eyes were too lively, and there was no stopping my climax then.�

�Julie, I�I�,� I croaked.

I closed my eyes.� Just as I started to spurt, Julie pulled off and worked me fast with her hand.�� Several jets flew out onto my stomach, as I groaned loudly.

�Shh�� she hushed, raptly watching the pearly liquid as it settled on my skin.� I stayed stiff like a board for a few long moments and then relaxed into the bed, letting out a long sigh.� I looked down at my shiny stomach.�

Considering how short a time I had been excited, I was surprised at the amount.� A short, but powerful arousal.� Somehow, everything seemed all right for the first time in a while.

I lay there, spent, for a long time.�

�That was incredible, thanks,� I finally said.

�Mm, you�re welcome,� Julie said.

�What are you doing tomorrow?� I asked.

�Is that an invitation to come over and hang out?� she asked shyly.

�Yeah.�

�I�m free.�

�Cool.� Come over for lunch?�

�Sure.�

I hesitated for a second, wondering whether to bring up the items we had to talk about.�

But did we need to talk about them?� I decided to let it lie until the next day, and then decide what to do.� I was tired and wanted to get home to sleep.

�Come on,� I said, sitting up.� �I should get home, I�m beat.� I�ll walk you back.�

�Okay,� she said.� I pulled her up and we walked out into the hallway.� The party was still in full swing, though the lights were low.� Julie slipped into the bathroom, and I waited in the dark hallway leaning against the wall, although I was somewhat sober now.�

Julie was back in my life.� I had lost my resolve, and my bet with Lara.� But it was all right; Julie was worth it.� Despite everything, I had forgiven her.� Her recent offering of pleasure was just an added bonus.�

Heather popped into my head.� I probably wouldn�t hang out with her much this summer, being now with Julie again.� Sometimes people drifted into your life momentarily, and then drifted away, like a raindrop on a windshield.�

For a moment, I wondered what would have happened had I waited for Heather to return before seeing Julie, but it was done now.� I had made my choice.�

Julie popped out of the bathroom, and grabbed my hand as we went out into the living room.� Anyone who wondered if we were a couple when we arrived together, now knew for certain.

I glanced around the room, half-expecting Brian to come barreling at me.�

Then I looked across the room, straight into a pair of familiar life-filled eyes that pierced the gloom of the dusky house like twin firebrands.� Our eyes connected through a gap in the partying crowd, and all other people in the room disappeared for a moment.�

Heather Martin was back in Montauk.

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