Marianne's a sweet girl, smart and beautiful, but I think the image of her at that moment would have deeply shocked her parents. Blond hair and face smeared with semen, blouse sticking to her semen coated skin, breasts threatening to, at any moment, erupt into view, barely contained by the few remaining blouse buttons. The skirt hung from her hips, the button wouldn't fasten. Semen coated her legs and a series of globs leaked from her cunt and made their way down the insides of her legs or spun and fell directly to the pavement.
Marianne wasn't sober but she wasn't obviously drunk either, unless she spoke. She had few cares in the world, none for her appearance and presence on the sidewalk on Greek Row. I think the Xetas paraded her naked down to the Sigmas and I don't think the proper and well dressed girl cared a bit.
Marianne's immediate concerns had to be satisfied all at once. She had to go back to the Sigmas and do what she was supposed to do. She desperately needed a drink. And if we had to go, she had to have her purse, suitcase and overnight bag.
I was thinking of dinner myself and how to pay for it.
I couldn't leave her for a minute and a form of triage took place. No, she couldn't go to the Sigmas. We'd try the Xetas for her things but they were unhelpful shits. The drink last, in the car as we were leaving town.
Marianne attracted attention naturally, she'd never shunned it. She ignored the looks of those we passed. I tried to ignore the way she smelled; she hadn't bathed and the semen was fermenting, a heady odor. I was going to be in the closed car with that for two hundred miles.
I tried not to think too far ahead. We climbed the steps to the Xeta's door and went in. I figured Marianne was an honorary brother because of the fluids shared, much like a blood brother.
Paul wasn't hard to find.
"We want her bags and purse and we're leaving."
"What bags? Why isn't she at the Sigmas?" He turned to her. "We need money for the liquor locker."
"I know," she said. She was suddenly shy.
"Why are you constantly interfering?" said to me.
"I'm her boyfriend. Give us her stuff and we'll leave."
"We need fifty dollars." He turned to her. "You have to go back. It's a point of honor between houses."
I took her arm before she could go any further.
"You have no idea where her things are? How about her clothes? From last night? Remember?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're full of shit. We're going, Marianne."
He grabbed my shoulder. I let go of her arm and sank my fist deep just below his ribs. That was the first time I'd hit anyone. The way he looked, I thought maybe I'd killed him.
The others watched us, wide eyed, as we left; Marianne always looking back and pulling. If she'd been sober I'd have had a fight on my hands.
"Remember that bottle, Marianne? It's in the car waiting for you. I didn't touch a drop and it's nearly full."
The car was where I'd left it. I'd not been surprised if it'd been gone. This place was like quicksand. I'd been trying to leave for hours.
Marianne settled in back with her bottle and I drove. I stopped at a grocery and checked my money in the parking lot. Enough for gas, maybe a loaf of bread and bologna. I locked Marianne in the car and prayed she'd stay there, out of view. Prayed she was so tired she'd fall right asleep.
I came back with the barest of sandwich makings and she was on her side in back smiling, the cap back on the bottle. I started the car and she said, "That was fun."
She did sleep. I turned the radio low for company and hoped I didn't wreck her car or get stopped for some reason.
Not quite ten years later I came back from Nam with a heroin habit and I began to better understand both Marianne and myself. Our whole lives revolved around our compulsion or addiction, and its demands on the body. I think she and the girl I'd left back there were much the same, but in Marianne's case there was an additional layer of alcoholism which I now believe helped her deal with the other, deeper, needs she had. The girl was happy, thrilled to be in her world. Marianne not so and I think the alcohol made it worse for her.
When I came back from my stint in the Army, girls loved to have a man who could literally fuck forever. Marianne had sex with an astounding number of men, but in both cases we were laboring under a depressant, our senses dulled.
I managed to kick my habit and I hope she did eventually, her drinking. Fucking like a mink isn't a bad thing. Not being happy while doing it isn't good at all.
About a half hour from home Marianne woke up, was hungry and wanted a bath. The place we'd gone to a week ago, our first time together, wasn't far off, so we went there.
Marianne carried the bag of food, I carried the flashlight and the Army blanket. She stripped and scrubbed in the stream while I made sandwiches. She dried her hair with the skirt; the blouse was left by the stream. Wrapped in the blanket she ate, us sitting in the quiet with the flashlight off.
"I need a thousand dollars, Brian. By next weekend."
The first thing that came to my mind was she needed an abortion. "I don't have it."
"I know. I wasn't asking. I can't be a little sister for the Xetas. They checked. I have to be a student, preferably a member of a sorority to be a little sister. Can you go get that bottle? I forgot it."
"Sure." I came back, sat across from her while she drank.
"One of the guys checked, Jimmy said, their legal mind he called him. And I can be a mascot. I wouldn't have to be a student. I'd get to live in the house full time. I'd like that." She smiled, took a drink from the bottle and set it down. "As mascot, I'd be something like everyone's pet. They'd share responsibility for me, since I couldn't have a room of my own. I could be shared with other Greek houses on campus, for special events and such. It's actually much better than being a little sister." Her fingers loosely circled the neck of the bottle as she stroked it, slowly, not looking at it. "There's an initiation, special rituals. The rituals are an ongoing process, almost monthly. It's the initiation that costs $1,000. Only a few of the houses, not just on campus but nationally, have mascots." She reached over and touched my hand, took a drink, and pulled down the blanket, exposing her chest. "I'd be marked, here, permanently as property of the Xetas. Even dressed, unless I was wearing a turtleneck or scarf, everybody would see it and know." She took another drink and returned to stroking the bottle. "It's late, isn't it?"
"After midnight."
"I can't go back home and I don't want you to leave me tonight." She raised her eyes. "It's cute you saying I'm your girlfriend. You're not my boyfriend, but that's okay. I like you a lot."
"I like you, too. A lot."
"And I know you think I'm stupid or crazy but I really want to do this. I know what they want to do to me. I don't really care. It's better than Joe's and I won't have to pretend any more. You know? That I'll be good or nice. You know what I am, maybe better than anyone. I'm talking a lot, aren't I?" She took a drink, held the bottle to the moonlight and shook it. "That's all for now."
No one said anything for a while.
"So did you get laid like I told you?" She grinned at me. "You're going to fuck me in a minute, both of us know it, so relax."
"Three girls." I smiled back at her.
"Not really?" She leaned forward.
"Remember the girl in the library?"
"Her? Who else?"
"She had a friend who was a virgin who wanted to lose it. We had fun." It seemed like years ago. "Then there's this girl I traded to the Sigmas for you."
Marianne started laughing and laid her fingers on my wrist. "All I remember is them getting me up and pushing me away. They weren't done yet. Then you take me and all of a sudden everything was over."
"Sorry, but it was time to go home."
"Who's this other girl? What's her name?"
"I don't know it. Names don't matter. As mascot will you have a name? You won't be Marianne anymore, will you? She was fresh meat for the Sigmas and they were happy with the trade. She was ecstatic. So I trade this girl for you and you tell me you're leaving in a week. Doesn't seem fair, does it?"
"You should have kept her, left me. Did you like her?"
"She made me feel lust in a way I'd never felt before. It wasn't easy to give her up. You have bigger tits." I smiled at Marianne.
"I'm a good fuck."
"I showed the Sigmas how to fuck her mouth like it was a cunt. They liked that."
"So is that what you want to do?" Her fingers stroked my wrist.
"I'm going to think a bit before I do anything."
"I'm going to have to sell my car. I'm glad you didn't take it, Brian. So I have better breasts."
"Bigger, not better."
"Okay. I'll accept that." She smiled, raising her face. "I'm going to miss you, you know."
"I'll miss you too. I enjoy your company."
I think that hurt. She wanted to keep everything on a purely sexual basis.
"As their mascot, if they want a dog to fuck you, you'll do it?"
She was motionless, then a smile grew. "I'll do whatever they want."
There are always limits. She knew reality and she knew the Xetas' promises were empty. Maybe it was better than Joe's. I still don't know.
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