Read first part here: Death Drive part 1
Read last part here: Death Drive part 3
More boy stories by AuthorWithHardon
Title: Death Drive part 2
Author: AuthorWithHardon
Summary: Suicidal man meets hungry boy
Keywords: Mb slow mast cum rom cons preteen yng gay pedophilia ped pedo MM BL boylove boy
First published: August 2014
Authors notes
Please note that part one has been updated with chapter 3, which was not initially included in part 1.
Make sure you have read all 3 chapters, before continuing reading this part 2.
And thank you for the comments I have received. I love them and they are highly appreciated.
Chapter 4
I woke at 6am, with a hard on and a boy on. Well maybe only half a boy on. Deans head was on my left shoulder and his left arm laid across my
chest. His body snuggled up to mine, his left knee was on my stomach and his shin was touching my hard cock. His foot was resting between my
legs. His penis had to be touching my hip, but I couldn't feel it. It was so wonderfully innocent and sweet. The best way I had ever awoken.
And in my sick mind, it was also very sexy.
My morning erection was begging for some attention. I have a habit of jerking off when I wake up with a hard on, which I usually do. Actually I
have a habit of jerking off in the morning, whether I have a hard on or not.
Having my beautiful nude little Dean laying halfway on top of me, made it difficult in every way. Difficult to do, and difficult not to.
I remembered my decision from yesterday. It was so fucked up. My whole life I had wanted this. And now by some miracle I had it all handed to
me, served on a silver platter. And I couldn't take it. Life is cruel. But Dean was much more important than me. I had to remember that.
On the other hand, he was asleep. And I really needed that wank. If I got up, it might wake him.
I looked around to see if I could reach the tissues I always had ready by the bed. It was on the opposite side of Dean and far away. There was
no way I could reach it, without untangling from Dean first.
I looked at his beautiful face. His shoulder and arm. His little hand with the lovely slim fingers. I took his hand and held it. Then brought it
to my mouth and gave each finger a kiss. Then I put his hand back on my chest and let go of it.
I grabbed an extra pillow and put it under my head, to elevate it. Now I could see most of his body. And my cock, lightly touching his leg. I
reached down, and grabbed it. And slowly started to stroke it. Could I jerk off, without waking him? Would that be sick? If he didn't wake up,
it wouldn't hurt him in any way. But what if he did wake up?
Could I just explain, that I always did that in the morning, and didn't want to wake him? And that it didn't have anything to do woth him? It was true. Mostly. Almost.
The only thing was, that since he did lay there naked next to me, he would definitely be involved in my mind while I jerked off. But he didn't know that.
I convinced myself that it would be safe. And even if he woke up, he wouldn't mind. And I could explain it, so no harm would be done. It is so easy to tell believable lies, when the receiver wants to be deceived.
I started stroking my cock harder. I put my left arm around Deans shoulder and gently caressed his back, while I stroked my cock and looked at
his beautiful body.
I tried to move my hip a tiny bit, to see if I could feel his dick against my skin. But I still couldn't. Then I pressed my hard cock
into his leg, and slowly rubbed it against him. Oh how wonderful if would be to have him suck me off. Or to give him his first sexual
experience. Suck his lovely hard dick. Give him orgasm after orgasm. Just love him and please him. And cum in his mouth.
I imagined putting my hard cock into his mouth. Imagined the sensations, when he closed his lips around it, and it slowly slid in and out of
him. I was very turned on by this whole situation. The fantasy of having sex with him, while he was laying naked almost on top of me.
I jerked faster now, and knew I would soon cum. I wanted to cum fast, to minimize the risk of him waking up. So I increased the pace, and quickly reached the familiar peak. I looked at him one last time, before I came. His little body was so sexy warm soft cute and divine. And then I came. I usually don't squirt very far, if I squirt at all.
But this time, my first shot landed on my chest. It made a long splash from near my chin to my belly button, decorating Deans left arm with a thin line of cum.
I was surprised. And cumming on Dean, turned me on even more. So for my next shot I lost control of what I was supposed to do. In stead of aiming away from Dean, I aimed a bit more to my left to hit him again. Fueled by the thought of cumming on him, my next shot was as powerful as the first, and landed near his ear, down across his neck and shoulder, some of it landed on my stomach and the line of cum ended on his knee.
I was so afraid he would wake up, but also so turned on that I couldn't help myself. I aimed for his face, and hoped and feared that I still had enough power to shoot that far. I didn't. In stead I hit his shoulder, arm and knee again. The rest of my volleys I aimed at his chest and stomach. Since he was laying on his side pressed up against me, it ran down between our bodies and made a mess on both of us.
When I was finally done cumming, I laid still and enjoyed the physical pleasure. It might have been the best orgasm I ever had. But now the guilt was slowly creeping up on me. That had been a pretty stupid and sick thing to do. And it was exactly why Dean couldn't stay here. I knew I couldn't trust myself.
I rolled him over gently, hoping not to wake him. He stirred a little, but to my surprise he didn't wake up. Then I got some tissues and started wiping my sperm off his nude pretty body.
I tugged him in and then went to take a shower. I jerked off again in the shower.
Chapter 5
After my shower, I tried to write on some of the letters I was working on, while Dean slept on. But I didn't seem to be able to muster the emotions I needed. The situation with Dean seemed much more important right now, and I constantly found myself think about how I was going to tell him.
When was the right time? How should I tell it? A gentle way didn't exist.
I decided to wait until the afternoon. There was no hurry, and I really feared it. Why was I so terrified, I thought? It was very strange for
someone who didn't care about anything. I almost laughed. I was so used to lying to me self, it was scary. I knew I cared.
At 8.30pm I woke him up. I gently whispered in his ear. "Deeeean... Wake uuuuup, my pretty boy".
I only had to whisper once, before his opened his eyes and smiled at me. The he stretched his arms and said "Why did you wake me?".
"I was thinking that you need some new clothes. Your old ones are too worn and dirty. And though you are very beautiful naked, you can't be
naked the rest of your life" I said.
"Sure I can" he said. "Don't need no stupid clothes, so I'll just go back to sleep. Gnite" he said with a smile on his face, and then he laid
down and pretended to sleep again.
"Ok, you can sleep 30 minutes more then, if you want" I said.
He giggled. "Nah it's ok. I need to pee anyway" he said as he got up, and pushed his hips forward to present his very erect dick to me.
I smiled at him. "It's going to be hard for you to pee down in the toilet, with that stiffie" I said
"No it's always like this in the morning. I just lean forward a bit and press it down, then it's ok"
"Smart guy" I said and admired his boner some more.
He stood still and let me stare at it. I suppose he liked to show it off to me, after I told him last night that it was beautiful. Eventually he went out to pee.
When he got back we small talked a bit, before I had to go out and get him some clothes.
I stupidly asked "Are you good in school?". That just might be the lamest question I had ever asked.
Dean patiently answered "I don't go to school". I knew that.
"Can you read?" I then asked.
"Yes a little bit" he answered with a hint of pride in his voice.
"Who taught you?"
"I did" he said. This time with more pride.
"Wow that's impressive" I said. "Learning to read is very hard on your own". I really needed to do something about this. He was too smart to
grow up without skills needed for a decent life. One more thing to arrange if possible.
"Look nudie boy," I started - "we need some breakfast. I don't have anything. And we can't eat out, since they don't serve for nude boys. Are
you sure you don't want some clothes?"
He laughed. "No I don't need them. I'll just sit in the car, and you go get the food for us."
He was such a delight. We were of course both joking, and I loved it. "Ok then" I said. "Are you ready to leave?"
"Yes, I'm ready" he said with a cute smile.
I got up, put on my shoes and jacket, and opened the door.
"Ok off we go" I said.
I suddenly realized, that this had turned in to a game of chicken. And I wasn't going to lose.
Dean stood up and walked to the door. He stopped at the door and asked "Should I wear my old shoes, or do they have to be thrown out too?"
"I ate your shoes last night. Sorry about that." I said and winked at him.
"You what?" he asked confused.
Then he remembered and laughed. "Oh right. Well I don't need them."
"Ok, just be careful where you place your pretty toes." I said, not expecting him to dare go outside naked.
"Ok" he said, and before I could react he walked out the door, and stood there stark naked, looking at me.
I got scared. If someone saw him, they might throw me in jail. And him in a home for runaways. And in a jail, I might not be able to kill myself. Certainly not in the way I had planned.
"Come back in here" I said.
He laughed. "No it's ok out here. I like it. Feels good with wind on my butt. And dick" he said and turned around presenting his bare dick to the world.
"Ok enough. Come in NOW!" I said
He hurried inside, looking frightened.
"I'm sorry that I yelled, but you know, if anyone saw you naked out there, they might call the cops. And then they will throw me in jail, and put you in a home" I explained
"Oh" he said. "But it was just for fun. Why would they do that?"
That was a good question. "Because the world is fucked up, and people think that nude children is very very dangerous" I finally replied.
"Lame" he said.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you" I said when I had closed the door. "I got scared".
"So you're not mad at me?"
"Of course not"
Then he jumped up and gave me a naked hug. I love naked hugs. I hugged him back, and said "But what now? You want to borrow some of my clothes,
till we get you to the car? Or would you prefer to stay here while I go buy a shirt and some pants for you?"
"I wanna go with you" he said.
"Ok... Let's see... " I went to my closet, with Dean hanging around my neck. I found a jacket, he might be able to use. It was just for a 100
feet or so. I also found my bath robe.
"Pretty naked boy, what do you want to wear to the car? My jacket?" I held it up with one hand "Or my robe?" I held it up with my other hand.
Dean couldn't see any of them, because he was still clinging to my neck, and I held them up behind his back.
"I can't see them like that, silly" he said.
"Maybe you should hop off and take a look then" I said
"Nah, I'm staying here" he said, and hugged me tighter
"You think so?" I said. I threw the jacked and the robe on the bed, and reached up under his arms, and started to tickle him. It only took 1
second before he dropped to the ground laughing, saying "That's not fair. You're cheating!"
"Me?" I said innocently
Dean tried to jump up again, but I held him off with my hand, and said "Pretty boy... Take a look at the clothes, and decide which one you want,
ok?"
"Ok" he said. And turned around. He inspected the 2 choices for 3 seconds and said. "I'll wear the robe".
We walked quickly to the car. I hoped no one saw Dean. Once in the car, I felt more safe.
While we were driving, I said "Ok, when we get to the store, you stay in the car, Dean."
"But I'm not naked" he said.
"I know, but there will be too many questions, and I'm afraid someone will call the police or some other authorities. I'll be quick" I said.
"Ok" he said disappointed
"I'll just buy pants and a shirt. And some shoes. Then I'll come get you and we can shop for the rest together, Ok?" I asked, trying to make him
feel better.
"Yeah, that's ok" he answered
"What size are you?" I asked
"What do you mean?
"I mean what size of pants and shirt do you use?"
"I have no idea" he said. "But I'm this big!" he said and opened the robe, took it off and spread out his arms, sitting all naked in front of me
again.
I laughed. He looked so pretty. And I loved his silliness. Bright, silly and pretty. And nude. What a wonderful boy.
He didn't put on the robe again, before we reached the parking lot, and I told him to.
Then I ran in and grabbed the first child sized pants I could see and a simple t-shirt. I also found a cheap pair of sneakers. And was back out
in the car after just 5 minutes.
When he was dressed, we went back in and found a place to eat some breakfast.
After that we went shopping. I got him 3 pairs of socks,
underwear, pants and shirts. And a couple of sweaters, a jacket and an extra pair of shoes. I also got him a waterproof bag, for it all.
"What do I need that for?" he asked
"That's so you clothes doesn't get wet, when it rains" I said
"Oh right" he said looking down.
I dreaded that conversation more than ever.
I thought I wanted to do something for him, so I suggested that we could go watch a movie. He loved the idea and gave me a great hug, and a kiss on the
lips. We were still in the mall, so I pretended it was normal and hurried along.
As we passed a shop with sports equipment, Dean stopped and pointed to a poster and said something a great king. I didn't really pay much attention, since I'm not much into sports, and my mind was on the movie we were going to watch.
In the theater they showed a couple of different kiddie movies and I let him choose. He had seen a lot of posters over the last years, for all kinds of kid
movies but had never seen any of them. He picked the one he had seen the most posters from. I bought us 2 tickets. Then we ate some lunch before we went back to get sodas and popcorn. We spent the next couple of hours watching the movie and then just strolled around enjoying each others company, until we were ready to go home.
The movie had been good, but for Dean it had been an awesome experience and he couldn't stop talking about it. When we finally got home, he jumped up
around my neck, looked me in the eyes and said "Thank you! You're my best friend ever!". Then he kissed me on the lips again. This time he kept
his mouth on mine for a long time. I think he attempted to give me a 'real' kiss, but apparently had no idea what to do. He was so sweet and
cute.
I pushed him off, and slammed him onto the bed. He screamed in surprise but laughed and giggled. He grabbed me again, and either tried to climb
back up around my neck, or pull me down into the bed with him. My neck actually hurt a bit, from him pulling so hard, so I went with his pull and ended on top of him in the bed.
He laughed and looked so happy.
It was soon time for me to ruin it all.
I rolled off him, and laid there looking at his beautiful face. He looked at me too. Then he leaned in to kiss me again.
"Why are you kissing me all the time?" I asked
"Don't you like me?" he asked
"Yes. Very much." I replied. "You're very beautiful and sexy. You're smart and funny. I like you very much".
"But you don't love me" he said.
Did I? Was I already in love?
"I think so" I said.
"I know you don't" he said.
"How can you know that?"
"Because, you're a pedo. A boy lover. And I'm showing you my dick all the time, and kissing you. And nothing happens. Why should you love me,
when not even my mom or dad did. I think there's something wrong with me, so no one will ever love me." he said and tried very hard not to cry.
"No no, you're wrong..." I said and stopped. There was so many things I wanted to say, and I didn't know how to say any of them.
Just a moment ago, I had been on the brink of telling him to leave. For good. But now wasn't the right time. Sex or no sex, he seriously
needed to be loved. But I was the wrong guy to love him, because I would be gone very soon.
When everything else fails, there's always the truth.
"Dean, honey... " I said. "I do love you."
"But you're a pedo. You're supposed to have sex with boys. Can't you just fuck me, so I can feel what it's like to be loved? Even if it hurts
and I hate it, at least I know what it feels like to be loved."
"Oh, my sweet boy." I said. "But you got it all completely wrong. Sex and love are two very different things. I can love you without having sex
with you. Or I could have sex with you without loving you. It's very important that you don't confuse the two things. It is of course also
possible have sex with someone you love. But don't assume someone loves you, because they want to have sex with you. And don't assume you're not
loved, just because there's no sex involved. I hope you understand this. It's very important."
Dean thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. Not looking very convinced though.
"Think about today, Dean. All those things we did together. I had so much fun. It's been one of the best days in my life. I love hanging out
with you Dean. And buying you stuff. And helping you. You know why? Because I love you."
"Yes, it was fun" he said, while a smile crept back onto his face. "You really love me? Why don't you want to fuck me then?"
"It's complicated. But you're a smart boy, so I'll try to explain." I said and took a deep breath.
"You see... I love you, so I want to help you and do what's best for you. And having sex with you, and then kill myself, would be bad for you.
Then you would be alone again, and if you start to like sex now, things might go terribly wrong for you. A homeless street boy like you seeking out sex, is a very very dangerous combination. I can't let that happen. It's better if you don't start having sex until you're older and maybe even when you have a home, a job and friends. It's much safer that way. Do you understand what I mean?"
He hesitated. "No, I have no idea what you're talking about" he said. "Why would that be dangerous?"
That might be a little bit too much to explain. What should I tell him? I hated myself for this, but now was the time.
"It just is, Dean. It's much better for a boy like you to not have sex yet. And that's why you can't stay with me. I can't have you here. It's so difficult for me not to touch you. Eventually I would fail and I would do some of those things with you. And then when I'm dead, I would have
ruined your life too. I want to save you Dean. Not ruin your life and become the monster they accuse me of being."
"Are you throwing me out?" cried in disbelief. Then he started to cry. Not just little sobs. Big earth shattering, soul deep crying.
"No, I'm saving you. I will set up something so you'll have food and money. You can have a life" I tried to reason
"I don't WANT that, you IDIOT!" he screamed and cried even harder.
I tried to reach out and hold him, but he shook me off and buried his head in the pillow.
This was even more painful that I had feared. I didn't know what to say or do. I had just broken his heart and shattered his hopes. I had to remind my self, that it was better for him in the long run. But it felt terrible.
Suddenly he turned around and looked at me, with tears in his eyes and all over his pretty face.
"Fuck me please! Get it over with. Then we can be together the whole week. I'll go with you on your Death Drive. Please, don't throw me out. I don't want to be alone again."
Read last part here: Death Drive part 3
Read first part here: Death Drive part 1
Or read another of my stories here