Read next part here: Death Drive part 2
More boy stories by AuthorWithHardon
Title: Death Drive
Author: AuthorWithHardon
Summary: Suicidal man meets hungry boy
Keywords: Mb slow preteen yng gay cons pedophilia ped pedo cum preteen MM BL boylove boylover boy
Chapter 1
I was driving along the river on the left bank, looking for a good place. It was dark, just like my mood. Most of the time the road was pretty
close to the river, so I could look down into the black water. It looked cold, calm and peaceful. Appealing. Almost beckoning me. But not yet.
Up ahead was another bridge. Also a gas station and a small super marked. And a big empty parking lot.
I parked in the far end, close to the river and away from the stores. Then I walked up to the supermarket, bought 2 beers and 2 sandwiches.
I had tried those sandwiches before. They were tasteless and expensive. But still better than the other things they had in there. And I didn't
really care anyway.
I walked back to the river, found a place where I could sit comfortable with my legs over the edge and look into cold still black
water, while I opened my beer. I just sat there. Lost in my thoughts. Thinking. I longed to die. Just get it over with. But not yet. I had some
things to do first.
I opened little plastic box containing one of my sandwiches and took a bite. It looked delicious, but I knew I was gonna be disappointed. It didn't help. I was still disappointed. But
whatever. I took another bite, put it back in it's plastic container, and stared into the water again. Once in a while I took a sip of my
beer.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed someone walking along the river towards the parking lot. Probably someone heading for the store. I
didn't bother to look up, but just continued my absentminded staring into the water. The person didn't turn towards the store when he reached
the parking lot, but continued in my direction. Slower it seemed. I still didn't bother to look up. Didn't really care. About anything.
Maybe I got a little curious after all. But I refused to look. I had decided not to care about anything, so why should I look? I sensed more
than saw, the figure hesitantly getting closer to me. And eventually a little voice said "hi".
I tried really hard not to look, stubborn as I am. But I still looked up and saw a dirty boy wearing dirty clothes. He looked to be 9 or 10 and
cold. He had dark hair and brown eyes. A pretty face behind the dirt, as far as I could tell. A sting of pain hit me. My pretty boys. Lost to me forever. I looked away and mumbled a "hi" in return.
The boy didn't go away. He just stood there. As if he couldn't decide what to do with himself.
Then he said "What are you doing here?"
What was I doing here? I didn't know the answer. And I didn't know what to answer. Maybe the answer was, that I was out scouting for a good
place to kill myself, and just needed a break so I sat here for a while. But I wasn't going to say that to a little boy.
In stead I just said "Dunno" without looking at him again.
The boy still didn't go away. He shuffled his feet, before he asked "Can I sit here with you?"
Why the fuck did he want to sit here with me? I was the last person on earth he should sit anywhere with. And then here in the darkness, out in
the middle of nowhere. Where the river begged to be fed.
I was tempted to reply with a plain "no", but in stead I mumbled "It's not my river. Sit where you want"
He sat down beside me. Wild thoughts escaped. Pleasant thoughts. But they were quickly drowned and confined.
We sat in silence for a while. I almost forgot he was there. Lost in my misery. It was very strange. How could I sit next to a pretty boy and
not care about it? That would never have happened just a few weeks ago. Before I was betrayed. It was almost as I wanted to feel like crap. Somehow i wanted to feel like shit and wanted to want to die. Did that make sense at all? Why did I want to feel like this?
"If you don't want that, can I have it?" he asked
"Have what?"
"Your sandwich"
Oh of course. That's why he was here. He was hungry. He would probably beg me for money too. I knew I was supposed to feel sorry for him.
And maybe excited about the opportunity to make friends with a pretty boy who needed food and money. But something in me didn't want to let go
of my misery. Something was wrong with me. Was I going mad. Or maybe I just had a severe depression. But none of it mattered.
"You can take that one. It hasn't been opened" I replied.
"Thank you" he said. He quickly opened it and started greedily tearing off big chunks with his teeth and swallowing them.
When he had devoured the sandwich, he asked if he could have a sip of my soda.
"Sure, but it's a beer" I said and handed him my beer.
I looked at him for the second time. He hesitated. Sniffed it. Then tasted a few drops. He made a face. He obviously didn't like it.
"Why did you give me beer?" he asked
"You asked for soda, but all I have is beer. Drink it or don't. I don't care" I said. All this 'I don't care' stuff suddenly began to feel childish. Like a stubborn 4 year old boy, pretending not to care, but every one knows he does. I was sure I cared too. At some level. It was just buried beneath my misery. Oh the misery again. That began to feel stupid too.
The boy took a healthy sip of my beer. Then put it down, and smiled at me.
"Yuck" he said. "I've never had beer before. It tastes gross". Then he took another big sip.
Trying to be a bit less gloomy, I said "Hey, don't get all drunk and fall in the water now"
"What do you care?" he said
Touch�.
Chapter 2
I got up, told him I had to go. Left my half eaten sandwich on the ground for him, if he wanted it after I had left. Then I went home.
Soon after I got really tired, and at 10pm I could no longer keep my eyes open, so I went to bed. Confused. I hadn't been able to sleep for weeks. Suddenly I couldn't stay awake. Something had changed. Then I fell asleep.
I woke at 4am. That meant 6 hours of sleep, which was way more than the 2-3 hours I had been sleeping since my life was torn apart.
As I laid there, my head was swimming with thoughts and emotions. All the mixed emotions from the disastrous confiding welled up in me. And the consequences the following days. My so called friend. Judas. My loved little boys whom I would never see again. My asshole of a father. My mother. All my friends. My home. Everything was lost, and the pain was unbearable. I had been happy not very long ago. Optimistic. Loved. Confident and trusting. Now I was determined to die.
I had to write a letter to my mother first. And I wanted to tell a lot of other people how I felt about them. But a letter to my mother was first priority. It was difficult. I had started the letter a dozen times. But today I was going to finish it. I hoped. And then a couple more letters after that. Then I could finally have my peace.
I spent most of the day writing. Throwing it away. And starting over. But there was progress. After dinner I couldn't think straight anymore, and decided to take take a ride again. This time I went north of the bridge I had been at yesterday, and just a couple of miles north of it, I found the perfect place. There was a turn very close to the river, so I could drive over the edge at very high speed. I would hit some big rocks head on. And after the impact the car could only fall into the river, and the water was more than deep enough to cover it completely. It was perfect. I wanted to end in the river. For some reason the thought of resting in the water seemed so peaceful to me. But I was a little bit scared of drowning. Suffocating didn't seem very pleasant or peaceful. So I hoped the impact would kill me if I disabled the airbag. Or at least render me unconscious. And then I would have my eternal rest in the rivers black cold water. At least I would start my eternal rest there. I supposed eventually some authority would haul up my car and my body.
There was a decent supermarket there. I got another couple of sandwiches and 2 beers again. Then I drove back to where I sat last evening. The new found spot was perfect for dying, but the spot I found yesterday, was great for sitting with my legs over the edge and staring into the water. That's why I went back there with my sandwiches and beers, I told myself.
The weather was milder today. I sat down and soon after I arrived I noticed someone approaching. I didn't have to look up to know who it was.
"Hi" he said
"Hi again" replied
"Can I sit here?"
"Sure"
He sat down beside me. I gave him one of the sandwiches.
"Thanks" he said.
These sandwiches were much better. We ate in silence. I ate mine this time and was still a bit hungry. He asked for a beer this time, and I handed him one. I should have bought a soda I thought.
"It's cold" he said
I didn't agree, but just nodded.
He moved up against me, took my arm and put it around him. Then pressed himself into my side. For warmth.
"Is it ok?" he said
"Yeah" I said and didn't care at all. Nope. I didn't care about anything anymore.
"Why don't you go home and find something warmer to wear, if you're cold?" I asked, suspecting what the answer would be.
He didn't answer. At first. Then he replied "I don't have a home".
I wasn't surprised. "How come?" I asked
Silence again. Then "My dad left when I was little and my mom died last year"
I expected a sad story, but it was still hard to hear. I felt the old urge to help and rescue, but it subsided quickly replaced by numbness and indifference.
There was something wrong with me. I had become a cold and mean person. I could sense my emotions were still there below the surface.
"I'm sorry" I said. I knew there were places for orphans. But I didn't ask anymore.
"Me too"
"Why are you really here he said" as he adjusted a bit, pressing his body into my side and pulling my left arm hard, so I was almost hugging him.
My turn not to answer right away. Then I sighed and said "because I'm going to kill myself, and end my life in that river".
He looked up at me in shock. His face was certainly pretty beneath the dirt. He stared with open mouth.
"No you're not" he said
"Yes. I want to die. I wouldn�t lie about something like that"
"You ego... you... stupid IDIOT!" he shouted at me and got up and ran.
That was a surprise. If I had cared I would have tried to explain to him, but I just sat there. Longing to die more than ever.
A part of me wanted to find the boy and explain. Make him understand. But a sick part of me enjoyed that I felt even worse now, than before I met him. I finished my beer, and stared into the water. Soon, I thought.
After 10 minutes, I noticed the boy again. He was coming slowly towards me. He hesitated.
Then he said "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that"
"It's ok" I said.
"It's just... " he tried to explain.
"It's ok" I repeated. I think I knew why he got upset.
"Can I still sit here with you?" he asked.
"Of course, I'm not mad at you" I replied
He sat down, put my arm around him again and started "Ehm... " he said
"Yes?"
"Well... Not to be rude or anything... But if you're going to kill your self, you think I could have your money?"
I laughed. I hadn't thought of that. What about my money? I had a pension fund. And a few assets. But who did I want to have my money? I had no one to give them to. Charity? Maybe an orphanage in India or something like that. It would be better than my family getting my money. And I didn't have any friends I wanted to give it to either. The boy could have it, but he would just be robbed if he had that much money. Not that it was a fortune.
"How about this... " I said. "When I do it, I'll stop by here, and give you 100 dollars first. Would that be ok?"
"Sure he said". Not a trace of happiness in his voice. "But don't you have more than 100 dollars?"
"Yes, but I figured that you'd be robbed if anyone found out you had a lot of money"
"Hey, I'm a smart kid. I could handle it. I'd hide them. Around in many places"
"Hmm... Ok. I'll give you 1000 dollars then. Rest is going to some other poor kids. Is that ok?"
"Sure ok. Thanks." he said. still without any enthusiasm. "But why do you want to die?"
Again I was unable to answer at first. After I while I simply said "Because I hate being alive"
More silence. Then he said "It's so unfair. You got money. And a car. You can do what you want. But you just want to die. I have nothing. I want to live. But I'm not even sure I can".
He was right. It was unfair. I had guessed right. That was why he got mad at me. I suppose I could give him a bit more than 1000 dollars when I left.
"You want a soda?" I asked
"Sure" he said and looked up at me.
I reached into my pocket and grabbed a dollar and gave it to him, and nodded towards the store.
He ran. And was back in just a couple of minutes. And snuggled up to me again. I pressed him into me for the first time. Almost like hugging him. It felt good.
It didn't matter. I might as well make him happy these last days.
"Can we be friends until you die?" he asked.
I felt the anger well up inside of me. I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn�t help it. "I don't want a friend!" I hissed and unwrapped myself from him.
I immediately regretted it. I looked at him.
He looked shocked. And scared. And very lonely. I felt sorry for him. It wasn't his fault.
He started to cry, and got up.
This time I didn't let him go. He was about to run away, when I grabbed him. He tried to get free, but I was stronger and I held him, turned him around and gave him a proper hug, while I said "I'm sorry... My best friend was a real asshole. It's not your fault. I'm sorry"
He relaxed and sobbed a bit in my arms.
"So can we be friends?"
The word itself made my feel sick. But I knew why, ignored it and replied "Ok, but just remember, I won't be here for long, so don't start relying on me. I will leave you soon, ok?"
"Yeah, I know." he said. "You're an idiot".
We laughed. My first laugh in a month.
We sat down again. Him hugging me as tight as ever.
Then he said "Why do you hate to live?"
That was a fair question, now that we were friends. I was getting used to the word again. He asked a lot of tough questions my new friend.
I decided to answer truthfully. I suppose I was only fair, if we were to be friends. Maybe the truth would scare him off, so I could wallow in my misery. Or maybe not.
I said "Because I'm a boylover". I didn't use the word pedophile. That would scare him more, and might block for any attempt to understand.
He looked confused. "You mean you love boys?"
I nodded.
"Boys like me?" he asked
"Yes" I replied. "I think there's a good chance I might fall in love with you"
He looked down into the water. He looked sad. After a while he said "I don't think so"
"Why not?" I asked
"I'm not the type of boy anyone loves. Not my father. Not even my mother. She only loved her drugs."
That was hard to reply to. So I just hugged him.
"But I still don't understand it. why do you want to die?" he insisted. "You love boys. But why kill yourself"
"It's complicated" I said. "I was stupid enough to tell my best friend that I love boys. And suddenly a lot of people got very angry with me, and hated me very much. And even the people I love, hates me now."
That made him think. But after a minute he said "I won't hate you, if you love me" he said
"You promise?" I said and hugged him again. He was starting to get under my skin. I was already addicted to hugging him. It felt good to have a boy to hug again. Even if it was only for a few days.
"I promise" he said. "Can I come home with you? I don't like sleeping out here. It's cold and scary every night"
"I don't think that's a good idea" I replied. "You know... I'm a boylover. It's also called a pedophile."
"Yes I knew that. Are you gonna rape me, if I go home with you? Is that why?"
"No, for fucks sake" I snapped. "I wouldn't never do that!"
The flare of anger subsided as quickly as it had appeared. I understood why. The mention of the word rape, resonated with the accusations, that had ruined my life. But I knew he hadn't asked as an accusation.
"I'm sorry" I quickly said. "I would never do that."
He waited a few seconds before he continued along the same path. "But are you going to fuck me, if I go home with you? Is that why, it's a bad idea?"
"No" I said again. "Not, unless you wanted me to. And then I probably still wouldn't."
"I don't want you to" he said. "But I'm not afraid of you."
"You're a brave boy. Maybe a bit stupid too" I said and smiled.
He didn't say anything. "No, I just hate to be alone out here" he finally replied
I took his hand and held it. Then we sat there together looking into the black waters.
"If you really really want to, and you promise to be my friend and not kill yourself, then you can fuck me" he said. He looked afraid but determined.
"No" I replied quickly, before he thought I was considering his offer. "I don't fuck anyone who doesn't want it. And I have to die". I said firmly, while my mind silently exploded.
"But I need you" he said
"I warned you"
"Idiot" he said
I hugged him and squeezed his hand. I couldn't think straight.
After a while he said "Then I can come home with you. If you fuck me, it's ok. I'm not afraid. And if you don't fuck me, then there's no problem."
I was completely lost for words. I suppose I could have just said 'no' without any explanation. I tried desperately to find a good reason to reject him. I found none. No matter what argument I came up with, it didn't matter, because I was going to kill myself anyway. Only reason that would have worked, was if it was better for the boy. But he had already won that argument.
I guess he was coming home with me.
"I'm not going to fuck you." I said. "But I might fall in love with you, and become really annoying. Following you around like a puppy, staring at you with big eyes. Trying to lick your face when you sleep. Admiring your every step hour after hour, until you can't stand it anymore."
"I know you're just joking. But I wouldn't become tired of that. Unless you also ate my shoes"
We laughed. He was a funny boy. Smart, funny and pretty. I was sure I would fall in love in him. I didn't care. And that wasn't a lie.
"Ok then" I said. "You can come, but you need to leave tomorrow. I have things to do, I can't do with you hanging around. I have to prepare"
"Really?" For the first time I heard him sound happy. Or excited. He threw his arms around my neck, hugged me tight, the pulled back and planted a kiss on my mouth.
I was exited too. Despite my efforts not to care, I looked forward to see the boy beneath the dirt. First thing when we got home, I was going to throw him in the bath tub.
I also wanted another kiss. I could still feel the brief touch of his lips on mine.
Chapter 3
After the decision was made, we didn't want to hang out on the parking lot any longer, so we drove off.
I was a bit worried about getting him into the motel, I was staying in. But there was no problems. I don't think anyone noticed. And
if they did, nobody probably cared.
The room was a mess, so I quickly moved the worst from the floor and the bed, to make room for my new friend. The word still felt strange. He didn't complain about the mess
though. I suppose he was happy as long as there was a roof.
My 'home' was not exactly luxury, but I didn't care. I was only going to stay here for a short while longer.
He sat on the bed and looked around. Then he found the remote and flicked on the TV.
I walked over to him, placed my hands on his shoulder and said "What's your name pretty boy?"
"Dean" he said
"Dean" I said, tasting the name in my mouth. I liked it.
"I'm Peter" I said. "Listen, you're very dirty. And though I like dirty boys, I want you to be clean if you want to sleep here tonight"
"Sure" he said. "It's just hard to find a bath on the streets"
Then he started to take off his clothes.
He seemed to be completely uninhibited, and showed no trace of shyness, while he took off his sweater and shirt. His chest was as smooth as expected,
and it looked very soft, pale and delicate. Milky white. As if it hadn't ever been hit by a single photon. I wanted to reach out and touch it. But I
didn't. He took off his socks. Pretty feet too. Slim but dirty. And smelly I was sure. Though he didn't seem embarrassed about stripping
in front of me, he wasn't in a hurry either. And when he unbuttoned his jeans, he looked up at me with a cute smile on his face. Then it finally
dawned on me. He was showing off. Trying to make me interested. Flirting even?
I was happy and flattered. But then I sobered. It made perfect sense... If I fell in love with him, chances was that I would let him stay here,
in stead of in the streets. I would probably give him more of my money too. And maybe he was even hoping, that I wouldn't kill myself. He might
be right about the other things, but I had to die. It was the only thing I had left. Maybe it would make someone think just a little bit about
what they had done to me.
He stood up, zipped down and sat again. Then trying to get the pants off, they seemed to get stuck around his knees and calves. His undies
looked extremely dirty. They were once white, but were now more brown and yellow. All his clothes had to be washed. Or thrown away.
"Hey, could you give me a hand here? he asked, while struggling with the jeans around his calves.
"Sure" I said and knelt in front of his legs. I could smell him from here. Slightly arousing stink, but overwhelmingly gross too. I pulled the
leg of his jeans down past his heels on both his feet. Then I reached up, placed a hand on his forehead, and pushed him onto the bed.
"Hey, what are you doing?" he laughed.
"Taking your clothes off, my pretty boy" I replied with a smug smile.
He laughed again "I'm not pretty".
"We'll see about that, once we get you cleaned up". Then I grabbed his jeans again, lifted his legs up, by pulling the part below his feet, and
easily pulled them right off him. Now he was only wearing his dirty stinky white briefs. There had been a cartoon figure on them once, but I
couldn't tell what it was. The colors had faded and were now paler than the discoloring from... From whatever that was. I didn't want to
think too much about that.
He got up from the bed, and while looking at my face, he slowly pulled down his briefs, revealing a very beautiful long thin dick. It was uncut
and begged to be sucked. Well, in my mind it did. But I would prefer it to be washed first. Usually I'm not a prude. And I often imagined that a
little boys dick would taste a little bit of pee at first. And I wouldn't mind that at all. But looking at his briefs, and knowing that he
probably had worn those for a year, without getting a bath... Well, he should have that bath right away. Not that I was going to suck him or do anything else with him.
He still stood there, with his hands on his briefs pulled just below his balls, inspecting my face.
"You don't like it, do you? he asked worried. "Is it because I'm not cut? I wish I was. Nearly all the other boys at the home was"
I looked up at his face, realizing that he had been studying me, while I had stared at his dick. My feelings about his dirtiness, must have
been visible on my face. But what was that about the other boys at the home? What home? I had to ask him about that, but not now. Now I wanted
him nude and clean.
"Yes, I do." I said. "You have a very nice and pretty dick. I really like it a lot. I don't care if it's cut or not. But I do think it's gross
to think about, that it hasn't been washed in a year"
I don't know how he managed it, but he looked insulted and relieved at the same time. "I have washed it" he said. "Sometimes".
"Well, you're going to now" I said, and reached down behind his knees, swooped him up into my arms holding my other arm around his back.
He laughed happily as I carried him into the bath room.
He hugged me while I carried him. It felt so good. For both of us I think.
I put him on the floor, and put the plug in the tub, opened the water and adjusted the temperature. Then we stood and watched as the water slowly filled the tub. Well, I was watching his beautiful body as much as I watched the tub. Neither of us spoke. My mind wandered to the 2 boys I had loved not so long ago. I still loved them of course, but they were gone now. They were both from the neighborhood where I used to live. I knew their parents and 3 years ago, the local chess club had tried to recruit kids in our area and had held an out door event, where the kids could learn to play. I was a very good chess player myself, so I had ended up defeating all the members from the club that day, and the locals from my neighborhood had loved it. Those who had showed up, that was.
The word spread after that, and I became the local hero for a week or two. I don't know how many kids joined the chess club that day. But 2 of the boys had joined me. In between
my games I had volunteered to teach the kids a bit, and the parents of these 2 cute boys, asked if I would teach them regularly, in stead of
them joining the official club. Actually I had more requests, but 2 was enough. And these 2 were by far the cutest boys there. After a while they were hanging out with me as often as they could, spending most of their spare time at my house.
"Climb in" I said, when the water was a few inches deep.
He did. I showed him how to adjust the water. How to pull the plug. I brought him a cold soda and my tablet with some speakers plugged in, so he could hear music. I placed both on a chair next the tub. Then I told him to relax and get clean. He could just call for me if he needed anything.
He already looked relaxed. Smiled a naughty smile and made some humping movements, making his sweet dick flop around above the water.
With one last longing look at his dick, I left the room and threw myself on the bed. I had a lot of thinking to do.
I knew I could have him. He had said so, and it seemed like he was actively trying to seduce me. His motives were probably security and not love
or lust, as they should be. Another problem was, that a worrying though had occurred to me:
What happens with the boy after I'm dead?
The positive answer would be, he would go back to how it was before he met me. He just had a nice vacation and got a little money out of it.
The more realistic answer would unfortunately be, that if I introduced him to sex, and we have fun for a week. And I then killed myself. He
would be a prostitute within a month. I couldn't bear that thought.
But wasn't that his decision? If he really wanted it. Who was I to deny him? The sex was gonna be so sweet. I closed my eyes.
He was clean, and I carried him to me bed. Still wet. We didn't care. We kissed passionately and reached for each others dicks at the same time.
I wanked him hard and fast and he came within seconds. Then he bend down, took my cock in his mouth and sucked it. The feeling was intense. I
shot my cum into his willing mouth and he ate it all.
"Peter!" he yelled.
Seems I had dozed off. "Yeah, I'm coming" i replied confused while I slowly got up from the bed.
"Were you sleeping" he asked when I entered the bath room.
"Guess so" I said, scratching my head. "What's up, Dean?"
"I think I'm, done now. It was really nice but I'd like to get out now"
I inspected his body. He was still dirty. Seemed soaking wasn't enough to get rid of years old mud and dried goo.
"Ok, ", I said. "we need to wash you properly. See here" I said pointing at what looked to be dried mud on his knee.
"That's just my skin. I think" he said.
"Nah, you're still dirty. But it should be easier to get it off now. Stand up."
He got up, and shamelessly displayed his nude wet lovely boy body. I grew an instant hardon, but ignored it. I pulled the plug from the tub, got
a wash cloth, soaped it up and started washing his fingers, hand, wrist and arm... Then I told him, that he needed to be washed like that on
every inch of his body.
"Ok" he just said.
"You want to do it yourself?" I asked
"Nah, you do it"
"Ok" I said. I didn't mind one bit.
I thoroughly soaped him in and washed it off. Every inch, just like I had told him. It gave me an opportunity to inspect his amazing body. I
loved every bit of it. So smooth and delicate. Especially the chest seemed very erotic to me. But I suspected that other parts of him, would be
even more erotic, when I reached them. I stopped at his waist, and went to his cute little toes. Had him lift first one foot, then the other. I was
tempted to bend down and kiss those little toes. Or other parts of him. But I controlled myself. Then I washed him upwards towards his crotch.
That was the only part of him still missing.
"Ok I said... Only the naughty bits left. They also need to be washed. You want to do those your self?" I asked
"No" he giggled. You can do them.
He seemed to think it was funny.
I started with his butt. The cheeks first. Up to the small of his back, and down to his thighs. Inside the thighs too.
"Now, turn around and bend over, so I can clean your butt hole" I said
He laughed. "Yeah right" he said.
"I'm serious. You haven't been washed there for like forever, and it's where your shit comes out. It's probably the dirties part of your
body."
"Oh" he said, when he realized I meant it. Then he turned and bent forward.
I soaped up the cloth, and put it between his cheeks. Washing the crack up and down. Saving the hole itself for last. Then I touched it with
the cloth. He jumped a bit but tried to stand still. I took my time washing it. More than I had to, I'm sure. I put a little pressure on his
hole with the cloth, and I used my fingers to spread the cute hole as much as I could without putting anything it in. He seemed to enjoy it. Or
maybe he just thought, correctly, that I enjoyed it, and let me have my fun.
Eventually I thought he had enough, and told him to turn around.
His dick wasn't hard or semi hard, but not entirely soft either. I rinsed the cloth, soaped it up, and wrapped it around his dick. I started to
rub it. And within 10 seconds he was fully erect.
"Oh it's beautiful" I told him.
He looked down. Slightly embarrassed now. "Really?" he asked
"Oh yes" I said. "It's very very beautiful."
I started rubbing it with the cloth again. Then I proceeded to wash his balls and the rest of his crotch, before I couldn't help washing that
hard pretty boy dick again.
He giggled. "You already did that!" he said
"Are you sure? I don't remember that"
"Yes I'm sure." he giggled "But you can do it again if you want"
I better not, I thought to myself. Images of my little friend sucking strangers for a few bucks flashed through my head. I had to think this
through.
"Ok, you're clean" I said. "Just turn on the shower and wash off the rest of the soap"
"Shower?" he said
I showed him where and how. Pulled the curtains so the floor didn't get more wet that it had to. And went to lie on the bed again.
What the fuck was I going to do about this boy. He was obviously trying to get to me. And it was working. I couldn't let him seduce me, and then
leave him in a week. That would be a shitty thing to do.
But for once, I was honest with myself and I knew that I couldn't have him hanging around me for a week, coming on to me and keep my hands off.
I would fail. I was sure about that. There was only one solution. And it would break my heart. But there just was nothing else to do. Dean had
to go. He simply couldn't stay here. I would let him stay the night, as I had promised him, but tomorrow he would have to leave and not come back.
What a fucked up situation. When he was done showering, I would go out there. Wank myself off. Then keep my hands off him until he left
tomorrow. Then I'd set up some kind of help for him, after I was gone. Maybe a bank account, from which he could only withdraw a limited amount every week.
Or a deal with a restaurant when he could always come to eat. Or something. I had to help him, but I would have to work out the details later,
cause I could hear the water being turned off.
He appeared all sparkly clean and nude from the bath room, and still with a nice boner. I suspected he had made it hard on purpose, before he walked in to me. I smiled at him, and praised his hard dick again, before I excused myself and went in there. I jerked off, thinking about the beautiful nude boy in my bed. And his wonderful penis. Then I cleaned up after his bath and shower and went back in to Dean.
He was asleep. Cute and nude on my bed. Lust filled me again. And a strong urge to protect him. Good thing I had just jerked off. I pulled the
blanket over him, kissed his cheek and whispered "sleep tight, my love" into his ear.
It was late. So I just cleaned up a bit, checked if I had anything for break fast. I didn't. Not good enough for him at least. So we had to go
out. Suited me fine. But he needed new clothes first. I could probably go out, grab some new pants and a shirt for him. Then we could go eat.
And after that we could find the rest of what he needed. Then I would send him on with some money for food, for the next days. That was the
plan. I knew it would be hard to tell him, that he couldn't come back here. I was sure he expected to live with me until I was gone. But I never
promised him that. Fuck, it was going to hurt.
Then I went to sleep. I spooned him for a few minutes, enjoying the sensation of a beautiful nude lovely boy to cuddle. Then I hugged and kissed
him, turned over and went to sleep. For the second time in my new horrible life, I fell asleep right away.
Read next part here: Death Drive part 2
Or read another of my stories here