Bimborg 2: Invasion of the Bawdy Snatch-Revelers (part 6)
AUTHOR’S NOTE: One part of this chapter was written with the help of the American Dental Association’s website, http://www.ada.org.
THE NEXT AFTERNOON
The school had let out at three o’clock for the pep rally, and now students and teachers were strolling into the gym, taking seats in the bleachers.
Most were sitting in the bleachers. But not Regina. She stood on the hardwood floor of the basketball court, facing the crowd. Green-and-white pom-poms laid at her feet, Varsity cheerleaders stood on either side of her, and the Varsity basketball team stood in a parallel line behind her.
Regina spotted Nightshade go into the bleachers—except she didn’t look like Nightshade anymore. The ex-witch was wearing blue jeans, a lime-green top, and pink lipstick. She was making a point to talk to the prettiest girls in the bleachers. Just confirms what I always suspected: She likes girls too much, Regina thought. That, or she’s running for Prom Queen in May.
Worse, Nightshade clearly had come to school today wearing a padded bra. Desperate much? Regina sneered.
Regina had disliked Nightshade less when she’d looked like Miss Vampire Vidal County. It was pathetic, seeing Call-Me-Rose now try so hard to get both boys and girls to like her.
After talking to lots of gorgeous girls, ex-Nightshade came over to where Charlie-Bob Owens was sitting. Regina couldn’t hear their words, but Nightshade then sat down next to the nerd, as he blushed red. She smiled at him the way a hot-to-trot girlfriend would; this just made Charlie-Bob blush redder.
A few minutes passed. By now, everyone who hadn’t managed to sneak past the security guard and head home, was now seated in the bleachers. Regina kept a plastic smile on her face, even as she was thinking, Mr. Roberts, get your ass in here and start the damned pep rally!
The doors into the gym opened and shut; this had to be Mr. Roberts. Regina didn’t even turn her head to look.
That is, until she noticed that the talk in the bleachers had gotten louder. Nightshade pointed toward the doors and said something to Charlie-Bob; he spoke words back to her.
Regina turned around to see what was so interesting, then gasped. Standing next to Mr. Roberts was a tall blond woman dressed in white, who was so beautiful of face, and so spectacular of boob, she looked like the star of one of Daddy’s hidden pornos.
Even Regina’s mother, on her best day ever, had never looked this good. Regina herself didn’t even come close. So Regina hated the stranger on sight.
Then Mr. Roberts started the show. He walked to where he was standing between Regina and the bleachers, turned to face the crowd, put the microphone to his lips, and made two announcements. Then he said, “...But before we start the pep rally, Dr. Heather Saint James is here to talk about good dental care.” Then Mr. Roberts walked ten feet away.
The porn-actress dentist walked to the spot that Mr. Roberts had just left, as the gym went utterly silent.
But just before Dr. Bigboobs turned to face the people in the bleachers, she made a quarter-turn left. For just an instant, the blond dentist stood right in front of Regina and faced her.
Porn-Actress Saint James quickly looked Regina up and down, then the older blonde smiled at the younger blonde. But the smile wasn’t friendly; instead, it showed amusement. It was as if Regina had spinach and lipstick both showing on her teeth, plus toilet paper stuck to her shoe.
But before Regina could react, either verbally or nonverbally, the blond dentist spun around to face the crowd. The whole thing had happened so fast, it was doubtful that Betsy or Prudy Lu had noticed a thing.
Mr. Roberts handed the white-dressed bitch his microphone. She said, “Good afternoon, students and teachers at Sweet Onion High School. Let me share with you a few quick words about maintaining your oral health.”
The Freshman boys elbowed each other, and the Senior boys smirked. Regina faced the crowd with a condescending smile that said Okay, fine, she said ‘oral.’ Grow up, boys.
The dentist’s talk was, as promised, only a few minutes long. Despite herself, Regina learned some things—
“...When brushing, hold the brush at a 45-degree angle to the gums....”
“...Rub the floss gently up and down, keeping it pressed against the tooth. Don’t jerk or snap the floss....”
In the few minutes it took the dentist to give her little speech, it was obvious to Regina that White-Dressed Bitch knew how to work a crowd. Dentist Bitch finished her talk with “...And let me repeat, don’t forget to brush your tongue! Because at your age, your tongue is sure to have picked up bacteria from—well, all sorts of things.”
Regina frowned as both students and teachers laughed at that.
Regina thought, Almost done. Less than a minute and she’ll be out of here. Then I’ll be the center of attention for a while.
Dentist Barbie continued, “I thank you guys for giving me your time and attention. My name is Heather Saint James, and if your parents want to make a dental appointment for you, I’ve left contact information with Mr. Roberts. But I want to end on a personal note....”
Regina stood open-mouthed at what she heard Dr. XXX say next.
Two minutes later, Dr. Porn-Tits said, “...So may I ask Charlie-Bob Owens to stand, so that you guys can give him the recognition he deserves?”
The nerd stood up, blushing. Then everyone else in the gym—students, teachers, Mr. Roberts, Betsy and Prudy Lu—applauded. Nightshade was clapping so hard, Regina was sure that the tramp would break hand-bones.
Regina was frowning, but nobody noticed. Which made her frown harder.
After the pep rally ended, Regina thought she was done with Charlie-Bob and Nightshade. Not quite.
The whole school was wanting to leave out the same gymnasium doors at the same time. So nobody moved quickly. As a result, Regina was within earshot for ten minutes as The Slut Formerly Known As Nightshade carried on a syrupy-sweet conversation with Charlie-Bob.
Charlie-Bob finally got a clue. With his voice shaking, he asked, “So, Rose? Are you, um, free tonight? For a date?”
Regina yelled over, “Charlie-Bob, you’re clueless if you ask a girl out for a Friday-night date on Friday afternoon. And if she actually says yes, this shows she’s desperate.”
Nightshade looked over and said, “Regina, sweetie, normal rules don’t apply when a genuine hero asks you out, you know? So Ah reckon that you’re the clueless one.” Then she turned her face back to Charlie-Bob. “Ohmigod, Ah’d love to go out with you!”
Bob Roberts had stood ten feet away from Heather Saint James for almost fifteen minutes. Needless to say, when Bob got home, he immediately grabbed Kathleen’s hand and dragged her into the bedroom, for the second afternoon in a row.
Afterward, Kathleen was amused again. “Ah figure that the same little slut came back to your office today. With a short skirt, a tight top, and either breath mints or a mini-dildo in her purse.”
“Something like that,” Bob said. “Hey look, Ah think I’m up for Round Two.”