Bimborg 2: Invasion of the Bawdy Snatch-Revelers (part 5)
THAT AFTERNOON
“...No, really, Dr. Saint James, it’s not a problem. But thanks for thinking of me. Goodbye.”
Dental hygienist Cindy Bright turned off her cel phone and laid it on the kitchen table. Then she sighed and picked up a paper napkin, twisting it into a rope, as she recalled the previous few minutes’ cel-phone conversation—
“Hey, Dr. Saint James, what’s up?” Cindy had asked. Then she’d nervously asked, “Did your first Georgia patient cancel her appointment?”
Cindy’s boss had replied, “Nope, you’re still going to earn money today. In fact, more so.”
“Ah don’t understand.”
“I need to run an errand at the high school, right when it gets out. So the patient and I both will be late. But, I still want you to come in at 3:15.”
“Whew, that’s good,” Cindy had said.
“Dr. Gardner’s receptionist will give you the key to get in. Anyway, set up the instruments like normal. If we’re not back by then, by the bathroom is a storage closet with a vacuum cleaner in it. Run the vacuum across the carpet till we get there.”
“Will do, Dr. Saint James.”
“I’m hoping this trip to the high school will get me more business, so I can pay you for more hours, sooner. It bothers me a lot that you have to live off your parents’ charity, even after I’ve hired you.”
“But they really don’t mind. Because Ah’ve told them good things about you, and my pa thinks that this is a good opportunity for me.”
“Well, I don’t want to be a problem for you any longer than I have to,” Dr. Saint James had said.
It was true that Cindy was taking money from her parents, in order to pay rent and bills. But that wasn’t the whole story—
Cindy also was “enjoying” the “generosity” of Roger Wisley, the richest man in town. He was handing over the cash mainly because Cindy was a freckled natural redhead with shapely legs. But Roger’s generosity came at a price.
How would Dr. Saint James react if she found out that Cindy was a rich married man’s mistress?
Not to mention, if Roger got a good look at Dr. Saint James, chances were high that he’d drop Cindy like a hot rock. And then how would she manage?
The only good news in all this was that Cindy had convinced Roger that if he quit Dr. Wheeler to instead favor a dentist with no patients, the town gossips might notice. So for at least a while, Roger wouldn’t come to the new clinic, and Roger wouldn’t lay eyes on Heather Saint James.
Cindy still was twisting the paper napkin. She knew she was playing with fire.
The school day had ended, and Bob Roberts was pulling on his suit coat when Mrs. Collins appeared in his doorway. “Mr. Roberts? Nightshade—Ah mean, Rose and a woman are here to talk to you.”
“Her mother? What’s she want?”
“Not her mother. And Ah think you should let them explain it.” Then Mrs. Collins lowered her voice and said, “Brace yourself.”
Bob figured out quickly what Mrs. Collins meant when he walked into the outer office. The first thought to go through his head was Stripper-Gram?
And come to think of it, Nightshade was looking pretty hot, too. Down, boy!
Nightshade said, “Dr. Saint James, this is Mr. Roberts, our principal. Mr. Roberts, this is Dr. Saint James, a brand-new dentist in town.”
The adults shook hands, then the teen girl said, “Mr. Roberts, Ah think it would be, you know, cool if you would let Dr. Saint James come out, right before the pep rally tomorrow, and talk about, like, dental stuff.”
“Dental hygiene,” the gorgeous white-clothed dentist explained. “Brushing, flossing, and mouthwash.”
Bob shook his head. “Nightshade—”
“Please call me ‘Rose’ now. Mr. Roberts, you gotta, like, help Heather! Ah mean, Dr. Saint James. She just moved to town, and she doesn’t have any patients, and she’s real nice, and Ah don’t want her to go broke, you know?”
The blond dentist locked eyes with the principal. “The students will benefit from hearing my message. And whether they ever tell you ‘thank you’ after they hear it, I will be grateful for being allowed to speak. Because Rose is right: I need to market myself.”
Had Bob Roberts been blind or gay, he would have said No and made it stick. What Rose and Heather were asking would disrupt the routine of the pep rally, and Bob Roberts made a religion out of not disrupting routine.
(Plus, every principal in the USA gets paid an extra nickel for every time they say, “If I let you do it, then I’d have to let everyone do it, and then where would we be?” Well, those nickels add up.)
But Bob Roberts was not blind, and right now he was very much not gay. He found it to be hormonally impossible for him to look at this sex-dream and say to her, “I won’t give you what you want.” So he agreed to give her five minutes before the pep rally.
Hearing this news, the dentist’s smile was professional, and her parting handshake also was professional. Damn it!
Just before the two beauties walked out of the school office, Rose smiled warmly and said, “You are, like, so cool for doing this, Mr. Roberts.”
Which made Mr. Roberts’s priapic-penis problem even worse.
In a town the size of Sweet Onion, there are only a few streets where you endanger people if you drive like a maniac. So Bob was able to hurry home without causing any funerals. As soon as he walked into the kitchen, he turned off the stove (Kathleen was cooking at the time), and dragged his wife into the bedroom.
When they were cuddling, Kathleen asked in an amused voice, “So what brought this on? Some slut with a short skirt and a tight top being sent to the principal’s office?”
“Something like that,” Bob said.
Patient Rose’s first appointment had included teeth cleaning and X-rays being taken (all done by Cindy), to be followed by a dental exam by Dr. Saint James. After Cindy informed her boss that Rose’s X-rays had been developed, Heather said, “Thank you, Cindy. Feel free to read magazines in the waiting room, or watch TV, till I call you back for final cleanup.”
“Ah’ll do that. Thank you, Doctor.”
After Cindy left the room, outwardly it seemed that Dr. Saint James was sticking dental instruments into Rose’s mouth, and Rose was suffering in silence. But what Cindy couldn’t know was that Heather and Rose, inside their heads, were together visiting the bimborg hive—
“Welcome to the Club. This unit is Tzigane-2571. Please state your designation and if this is your first time here.”
Heather said, “This unit is Heather-216937, here with Rose-16184906. It is the Rose-unit’s second time here.”
Tzigane asked, “Do you two intend to visit the same Conference, or different Conferences?”
Rose “spoke” for the first time: “The same Conference. But what Conferences are available here? Last night this unit discovered only the ‘Hair, makeup, fingernails, and clothing’ Conference.”
“There are fifteen Conferences here: Queen’s Conference; King James’ preferences, sexual; King James’ preferences, nonsexual; Analysis of sex acts with King James; Blowjobs and Kegel exercises; Straight-sex and lesbian-sex FAQ; Ass-Kicker Babes’ Conference; Spy Babes’ Conference; Welcomers’ Conference; Keeping the secret; Hair, makeup, fingernails, and clothing; Nutrition, fitness, diet, and exercise; Self-defense; Future knowledge; and Bra-shopping.”
Heather said, “These units need to go to Queen’s Conference. These units are carrying out Special Instructions from King James, and need a part of the Instructions made clear.”
Tzigane said, “Agreed, this is the Conference you need to go to. Rose-unit, send thoughts to ‘Queen’s Conference, entrance node,’ which is how you get into that Conference. Or any Conference, for that matter.”
Heather-unit and Rose-unit did as directed, and one nanosecond later they “heard” a bimborg say, “This is the Queen’s Conference. This unit is Sumalee-4472. State your designation and if this is your first time here.”
Heather said, “This unit is Heather-216937, here with Rose-16184906. This is the Rose-unit’s first time here. This unit came here forty-six days ago, to report Special Instructions from King James. Now Rose-unit is likewise bound by those Special Instructions, as are whomever she Welcomes at Sweet Onion High School.”
Stephanie-1 “spoke” up now: “Sweet Onion High School, you say? Heather-unit, the queen-unit remembers you now. But inform the queen-unit’s court what are the Special Instructions that you two are carrying out.”
Heather and Rose did so. Then Stephanie-1 asked, “What is it about the Special Instructions that you two don’t understand?”
Rose replied, “This unit has completed a visual analysis of all the female students and teachers at Sweet Onion High School. Out of seven hundred students and sixty teachers, there are twenty-seven girls and zero teachers who meet Babeness Standards revision 4.
“Understood. Go on.”
“If we lower our standards slightly, to Babeness Three, this makes another ten girls and one teacher be candidates for Welcoming.”
“Understood.”
“Our question for you is: Which Babeness Standards do we go by, when choosing whom to Welcome?”
Stephanie-1 asked, “The one Babeness Three teacher, how did she fail Babeness Four?”
Rose replied, “This unit estimated her Percent Body Fat as just over what’s allowed. This unit estimates that she is 1.2 kilograms too heavy for Babeness Four.”
Stephanie-1 said, “King James must decide the answer to your question. But he’s just started sex with Sharon-41577. The queen-unit expects that it will be an hour before the queen-unit tells you his answer.”
Nanoseconds later, Heather and Rose were back in the real world. Rose gave Heather a thumb-up.
(Heather couldn’t reply in kind. At the moment, she was scraping a bicuspid.)
Sixty-seven minutes later, Rose and Heather received King James’ answer: “Sweet Onion bimborgs are to Welcome only hotties who have the babelicious looks of Babeness Standards revision 4. But they also are to Welcome the one Babeness Three teacher.”
Rose telepathically sent the names and images of all twenty-eight Welcoming-candidates to Heather.
What did all this mean? It meant that soon Charlie-Bob Owens was in for a helluva surprise.