>>2486713this is a very good point. Suicide is a permanent solution. The problem is that sometimes, these pains can feel just as permanent. I can see now that maybe it isn't worth dying over, though.
>>2486716I'm 17. probably not the wisest of ages, but I do a lot of thinking to make up for that.
>>2486717I suppose you're right... Life, as far as I know with it, is all I have, and I think it may be foolish to end it.
>>2486719I'm sorry if your life was awful... in the future, however, you may want to refrain from using that in such things. Suffering does seem to be relative, and, although I can respect that your life was difficult, I can't compare mine with yours to say who really went through worse.
>>2486722I know. and I really do feel as though life will go uphill if I can just allow it to...
>>2486726I can honestly relate to that reason. I've often felt as though I was only living because I didn't deserve death, but I only have to believe that as long as pessimism shines through.
>>2486728I... I know you care, engineer. I really do...
>>2486729I try not to base it on things like that, but it's just the focus on something bad that gets to me.
>>2486730I'll stay with you guys now...
>>2486731I know you'll miss me... it just took a bit to realize that...
>>2486732I know life isn't supposed to be easy, and I know we have it well. It's appreciating that that can be hard sometimes
>>2486733I was going to do that, but my phone is upstairs, and I've been afraid to go up there. And yes, if anything I can look forward to those things...
>>2486734I know... that was just me focusing on the bad comments I guess.
>>2486735I'm sorry if I sounded hostile earlier... I was just really afraid.
>>2486736I've been trying to see things for what they are... it's hard for me to see, but I feel as though this has opened my eyes...
>>2486737just bothering to be here is more than enough to suffice, trust me
>>2486738I'm very sorry your mother is that way too, and I'm glad you've been able to be sturdy... thank you
>>2486739I know you mean well, but that isn't necessary. Thank you, though; seriously.
>>2486740well, uhm... I don't know what you mean by relationship, since I sorta am seeing someone, but... I'd love to be friends...
>>2486741you don't have to be sorry for not talking... trust me, you've helped me enough to make up for that, and I don't want you to feel as though you've failed. you haven't.
>>2486744it's been difficult trying to realize that, but... it gets easier with every notion of affection... as for the whole attention whore thing; that's always been a sensitive spot for me, soo yeah
>>2486745I'm trying to let you guys help me, and I feel as though you really have....
>>2486747I know now what I have to live for; you guys. the people that really do care about me, even enough to tear down the wall I've made over the years.
>>2486748she has conspiracy beliefs. 9/11 inside jobs, codex alimentarius, RFID skepticism. And in my questioning I never told her she was wrong; I merely asked her to consider that she could be, and that she was forcing it on people.
>>2486749I'm not sure if they were trying to share their story, or help me with it, but I'll just say that maybe they should keep those comments for other threads....
>>2486750it's very therapeutic to talk about, yes, but I don't believe this is a thread for that.
>>2486751I... I know she was wrong to say that... and I'm really surprised that you'd really think that of me... that the world needs more of me.
>>2486753I agree... though perhaps they had good intentions with it as well.
>>2486752they may have meant it with constructive undertones, but yes, I sorta agree too
>>2486754I... It really does mean something to me now. now that I feel like I can see it...
>>2486756thanks... I'm just sorry if you go through the same
>>2486757I guess I really am loved here... it just took a major kick for me to see that
>>2486758it's been difficult to talk, but I did read all this...
>>2486759I know... it's all about how I deal with these things...
>>2486760hmmm... I'll keep this group-thing in mind. as for difficulties, you've definitely hit the problem spot on with your description. thank you for understanding
>>2486761but you see... suffering is relative. you can't really say you've gone through worse, because worse isn't a universal concept. at any rate, I respect that you have good intentions in mind, and I thank you.
>>2486762yeah... it's just that sometimes failures can feel like it's all there is. hence, depression. though I see that now, and thank you.
>>2486764I give you the OK. believe me when I say you could never be too clingy to me, and I can only enjoy your company.
>>2486765yeah... if anything, hanging in there is the hardest part, but you guys really helped in that.
>>2486766perhaps.... I'll have to talk with her later
>>2486768to make a long story short, she's been pushing her beliefs, her conspiracies, on me, by trying to convince me that the world is going to end, or that I'm an idiot for not believing what she does.
>>2486769it's okay... I can respect that not everyone will have something nice to say.
>>2486770it's possible she will, yeah... and right now I'm trying not to pick number ones in terms of trust; my mother just happened to be longer. I'd love to be close to you though, I really would.
>>2486771I suppose... no one's perfect, I respect that, but it was just sorta damaging on me.
>>2486773I'm not, it's okay
>>2486775she is pretty insecure, and I'm careful not to do this sort of thing, but I have to defend myself too, I guess.
>>2486776my gosh... I can't say my mother has been as overt with her beliefs, but she seems just as persistent with them. I'm sorry you have to deal with it too
>>2486777try not to worry about those...
>>2486778yeah, you're right... it's just always been hard for me to trust people is all.
>>2486779don't worry... no community has to be perfect to be amazing
>>2486780yeah, I guess you're right... if she doesn't love me, then I can't fret too much over such a conditional thing.
>>2486781try not to mind that
>>2486782while it was rude, there's always gonna be parasprites on the internet
>>2486783I agree
>>2486784I hope you're not crutching on those... try to be healthy
>>2486785again, try not to worry about it
>>2486786well, it's okay. the kindness overwhelms it completely now
>>2486787that's a very good point too... though I'm more upset over losing my trust in her if anything
>>2486788yeah... I'm going to try to keep things as okay as possible...
>>2486789life is pretty hard, yeah, and there are doubts and stuff; but you're right. it's all about perceptions, and maybe getting some help from others too. so thank you, really. I'll try to fulfill that potential