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Princess Celestia Discovers Cheesecake


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#1 Luna Lens

Luna Lens

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    Princess_Luna

Posted 08 July 2015 - 04:57 AM

Holy forum post, Batmare! Somepony posted in the fanfic sub!

 

Yes, I've written a story. It's my first story. I don't really expect it to be showered with praise, but I would like some criticism and advice for the future.

 

http://www.fimfictio...vers-cheesecake



#2 Ol' Vortex

Ol' Vortex

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    Mav3rick

Posted 08 July 2015 - 12:24 PM

This is great. The way you precisely described Celestia eating her cheesecake made me chuckle. On a side note, you could mark out Celestia's thoughts with italics (but it doesn't make much difference)




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