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Think I should keep going?


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#1 Cleminjon

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Posted 28 January 2012 - 10:07 PM

Ok so this is my little fanfic, Im not really sure if I should keep going. Do you like it? I know it seems a little like My Little Dashie but Im making it different.

Twilight....?

Chapter 1
I woke up Saturday morning and checked my clock. 12:54? Did I really sleep that long? "Must of been on the internet too long" I thought to myself. I got dressed and went downstairs. My mom was standing at the sink, washing the dishes. "You missed breakfast" she said to me with a smile. "Yeah, I figured" I said with a slight laugh. "Looking up ponies all night again?" she asked with a smirk. "I guess" I said with a guilty smile. I was 15, so yes I still lived with my mom. Im an only child, which has its pros and cons to it. My dad, well I never knew him. He supposedly died in a car crash a year after I was born. Obviously, I dont remember it. I looked out the window to see the open beach on the horizon. I lived in a fairly large house near Neah Bay, Washington. It was very secluded, which I liked most about it. After my somewhat "Brunch" I decided to go ride my skateboard. I had a great long driveway in front of my house for it.

I was trying to try a new trick on my ramp. I race down the hill, and ride the ramp to ollie over a huge pothole. The first few times I usually just fell in mid air, thank god I was wearing a helmet. This time I was detirmined and feeling totally ready. I secured my feet on the board, loosely put on my helmet covered with Zumiez stickers, and pushed my board forward. I was racing down the hill at what felt like 30 miles an hour, and almost lost balance. I shifted my feet a bit when I saw the ramp coming up, and got ready to ollie. I was absoulutely prepared when I hit the ramp when suddenly I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Behind a tree in the woods, I saw a little flash of-purple?
While I was looking, I lost balance in air. "Crap!" I yelled as I hit the ground with the front of my helmet. I was fine, except for a little cut on my chin. I got up warily. That thing I saw in the woods was purple? What on earth could be in the Washington woods like that? Then it hit me. I felt absoulutely crazy, but I recognized it just by seeing its- well-her tail. Twilight?

Edited by Joniclem, 28 January 2012 - 10:31 PM.


#2 EP1CWAFF1E

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Posted 28 January 2012 - 11:45 PM

I think it's pretty good, maybe a little too similar to My Little Dashie. Just not as depressing.

#3 Squint

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Posted 28 January 2012 - 11:57 PM

Sounds good, keep going!

#4 Cleminjon

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Posted 29 January 2012 - 04:18 AM

Like I said, Im trying to make this different, and a little more realistic. This is a rough, rough draft which I havent really put much thought into. Im pretty much posting this to get your opinions, so throw me any idea you like :-P


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