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I need some serious help here...


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#1 Coloratura

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Posted 09 December 2015 - 08:51 AM

This'll be very different from what is traditionally posted in this subforum, but I'm at my breaking point.

TL;DR I'm dropping out of college because I don't think I can handle any more of it. Does that make me a coward or weak?

For the past two years I've been in college. I've been barely skating by on my low grades and have been passing in and out of depression because of said grades. At the end of the first year I tried telling myself that I could turn it around, but I was clearly just lying to myself, despite my best efforts to establish a rigorous schedule or get help from professors. With this in mind the depression has gotten so bad, and I'm so afraid of my families reaction to my poor grades that I've been lying to them. I've put on this mask of calm when I'm really drowning and I feel like I have nobody to turn to. In a few hours I will be calling my dad and breaking the news, but I'm truly terrified of what he might say. And if he doesn't say anything will he think less of me? Will my friends look down on me? Will they not understand the decision I've made? I don't understand why this is so terrifiying. I'm at my wit's end here. What do I do?

#2 DingusMcgee

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Posted 09 December 2015 - 11:59 AM

You are not weak or a coward for wanting to drop out of college. It's hard, and depression makes it even harder. It's not your fault man. Depression is a serious issue and it impacts many people. You need to talk to your family, and tell them about why you did this or that. I know, easier said than done. But they're some of the closest people you can turn to in your time of need. They're your parents. They'll help you and they'll understand you.

 

It's scary, I can't say i've been there. But I know what it feels like to be scared like this, where you overthink and you think of everything that might go wrong, that might ruin your life or ruin your relationship with your parents.

 

But trust me, once you start talking to people, your family, your parents. They will help you. And they will try their hardest to help you get through this. Depression is like a growing rock. In the beginning it sits atop your head, nestled, small and light, you feel like somethings wrong but don't pay mind to it. But over time, that rock feeds off of you, and it gets bigger, and heavier. All of a sudden all you can think of is that rock, and it stops you from doing anything else, because you need to lug it around so much. And you don't want to talk with people about it, because what would they think? It's just a rock right? They think you can just throw it off and it'll be alright, but the rock is tied to you mentally and it won't be removed that easy.

 

At this point, stop worrying, if you don't confide in others then that rock will be bigger and heavier than before, then you will break yourself, that rock will crush you and everything you hold dear with it's weight. But it can be taken off. And talking to others, confiding in others, will move you closer and closer to that rock slipping off. Till it pops off, then it feels like you can take on the fucking world! Time will help you sort it out but it won't sort itself out if you don't give a push, or an effort in trying to sort it out.

 

Don't worry man, they'll understand. They'll do their best to help you, but you need to do your best to help yourself too. It can only get better from here on out.



#3 The_Miner_Nick

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Posted 09 December 2015 - 07:05 PM

I think you're being too hard on yourself. College is a horrible system designed, like everything else, for profit. Failing at that system does not make you any less of a person, and you're certainly not weak for dropping out. In fact, I'd say it's better to count your losses and drop out now than waste another two years of your life (and probably several tens of thousands of dollars in tuition) than to persevere and get a degree in a field you can't even find a job in because everyone else has a higher GPA. Modern culture treats college like a rite of passage, but that's not what it's supposed to be for. There are many other ways to live life besides the most walked path. My brother who is still in high school and might not even get into a good college makes over minimum wage in the grocery industry just because he found something he's good at doing, and I'm sure you're good at something, too. It would be a million times better to find that thing you're good it than slave away for two more years at something you dislike.

 

Don't worry about whether or not people will accept that decision. It's your life, and if you honestly feel that you can't succeed at college, it would be ridiculous for them to try to tell you otherwise. I know it's incredibly nerve-wracking, especially when parents are involved, but just remember they want what's best for you. If you can convey to them that you've tried your absolute hardest to keep your grades up and you're not just dropping out because you spent too much time drunk at parties, then they won't think any less of you. They're your parents, after all, they know you better than anyone and they're always on your side, even if it doesn't seem like it at times. They'll probably object and try to convince you otherwise, but it's not because they're disappointed, it's because in their mind, they don't want you "taking the easy way out" and shying away from a challenge just because it's hard. Hear them out, and if you still can't see yourself continuing, calmly tell them what you feel. They'll understand.

 

TL;DR:

Albert Einstein said that "Everyone's a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." Don't let yourself fall into the slump of believing you're stupid or worthless because you couldn't handle college. You're not. And don't let others live your life for you; they usually want what's best for you, but they don't know what you're capable of like you do. Find something new you enjoy doing and dedicate yourself to that instead. You'll be happier in the long run and that's the ultimate goal in life.



#4 Shroom Agent

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Posted 09 December 2015 - 07:40 PM

I moved this thread to off topic. I feel it didn't belong in support since support has to do with questions or help regarding the minecraft server. technical issues, related questions, etc.

#5 Coloratura

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Posted 10 December 2015 - 12:50 AM

Thank you guys for the support. I really appreciate it, even more than words can describe. I've talked with my family and I have an appointment with a counsiler tomorrow. I can't thank you enough for the advice and supporting words.

#6 DingusMcgee

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Posted 10 December 2015 - 01:06 AM

Thank you guys for the support. I really appreciate it, even more than words can describe. I've talked with my family and I have an appointment with a counsiler tomorrow. I can't thank you enough for the advice and supporting words.

That's awesome dude, if you ever need any help you can talk with the people on Brohoof. We're here for you every step of the way buddy.




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