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My Application For Colonizations


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#1 Fluro :D

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Posted 30 August 2014 - 10:07 AM

Name: Jacqueline Reneigh Quillfly

 

Gender: Mare
 

Race: Pegasus
 

Age: 19
 

Appearance: Medium small. Slightly dark yellow fur, with a dark brown mane and tail with almost invisible blonde streaks around the ears. She has dark green eyes and likes wearing orange shirts.

 

Cutie Mark: Grey-white quill with an opened book that has writing on the left page. 

 

Likes: Drawing, writing, flying, Dett, books.

 

Dislikes: THE BEACH! Bullies, travelling, bugs (ergh bugs are disgusting...).

 

Hobbies: Astronomy, science, drawing, freewriting and flying.

 

How CM Was Received: When she published her first book, one of the first readers contacted her to tell her it was OK but needed improvement. She wrote a sequel which then got her glory, and she received her Cutie Mark at the age of fourteen.

 

Personality: Quite friendly, smart with written work and grammar, quite kind, a bit annoying, easily bored, really silly, easily angered and a bit socially awkward. She complains a lot.

 

Biography: When Jacqueline was young she was really nerdy and was always trying to be smart infront of everyone, it often got her bullied and not-as-smart bigger ponies would tell her to give it a break. After that she was moved to a new school with new friends just like her.

 

The difference between her and these new ponies that became her friends, were that even though they were nerdy and smart like her, they could be brave and powerful too. When Jacqueline talked to her parents about this, they told her: "Being smart isn't what got us forward in school, it was being brave an adventurous!"

 

When Jacqueline's little brother was born, she finally understood what her parents were talking about. She had to learn something else besides maths and english, her grades on PE were awful, and her grades on Art and Science were below average. So she worked hard and earned the job of a book writer that can illustrate her own books.

For this, she would go places to write about them, and to get ideas for the character's adventures.

 

Other: She has a brother called Dett Flyer, a mother called Maddi Streak, and a father called Omar Shine. Her favourite colour is purple, and she loves Space!


Edited by Fluro :D, 30 October 2014 - 07:28 PM.


#2 greebster

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Posted 30 August 2014 - 05:44 PM

You have made a good start, but we would like to see more information in both the personality and the biography sections. We expect at least one paragraph for personality and around three for the bio. Remember, as this is for access to an RP world, we will be looking for creative talent as we'll as fair spelling and grammar.

I will leave this open so that you may edit this one

Edited by Greeā„¢bster, 30 August 2014 - 05:45 PM.


#3 Fluro :D

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Posted 31 August 2014 - 11:26 AM

Thanks for the tips Greebster, I think I've fixed it all, and I added a lot more detail. I hope it gets accepted! :derpytongue:



#4 dougalcraft

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Posted 05 September 2014 - 11:44 PM

,


Edited by dougalcraft, 06 September 2014 - 02:22 AM.


#5 greebster

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Posted 11 September 2014 - 05:28 PM

The biography section is really supposed to tell more of a story than talk about your character's hobbies and whatnot, albeit those things could also be included.




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