1
00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:13,019
>> Fluttershy: Okay, Mr. Mouse. Now, I want
you to stay off of that leg for about two

2
00:00:13,019 --> 00:00:18,930
months. And when the cast is ready to come
off, please don't chew off your own leg. I

3
00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:24,490
cannot count the number of times that has
happened with my mouse friends. I know it

4
00:00:24,490 --> 00:00:30,260
seems like a good idea at the time because
it gets the cast removed, but you have to

5
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:36,750
remember that it's disruptive for the treatment
of your leg. So come to me and I will get

6
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:43,070
it off for you. Also, don't go to the vet.
I know that he's in town, but he will charge

7
00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:49,660
you money because he doesn't treat with love
like I do. And finally, because I know that

8
00:00:49,660 --> 00:00:55,690
she's the one who bit your leg in the first
place, if your wife decides to eat you for

9
00:00:55,690 --> 00:01:00,510
the delicious nutrients in your body, you
have to put your foot down – your other

10
00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:06,360
foot, the one that's still okay – and you
tell her "we may be omnivores, but we are

11
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:13,360
not omni-impolite". Oh, hello, Angel. I was
just helping the mice that live in my walls

12
00:01:13,390 --> 00:01:18,119
and... eat your food and stuff. I'm sorry!
[beat]

13
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:21,450
>> Fluttershy: No, Angel, we need to live
in harmony.

14
00:01:21,450 --> 00:01:22,200
[beat]

15
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:29,200
>> Fluttershy: Oh. Are you thinking about
time? I think about time a lot. Like how your

16
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:36,330
whole existence is defined by what others
think about you. That means that, if others

17
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:42,349
don't think about you a whole lot, then it's
like you don't even exist. I think maybe because

18
00:01:42,349 --> 00:01:48,310
I take care of so many little animals and
they all have such very short memories. It's

19
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:54,410
like I barely am real at all. And that's why
Twilight Sparkle doesn't ever remember my

20
00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:59,009
name. But thankfully I have you, who thinks
about me quite a lot.

21
00:01:59,009 --> 00:01:59,859
[beat]

22
00:01:59,859 --> 00:02:04,750
>> Fluttershy: Oh, are you saying it's time
for my shower?

23
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:05,270
[beat]

24
00:02:05,270 --> 00:02:10,739
>> Fluttershy: Okay. I was thinking though...
maybe I could do without supervision?

25
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:11,359
[beat]

26
00:02:11,359 --> 00:02:17,700
>> Fluttershy: Okay. Well then, maybe can
you not slap the soap away every five minutes?

27
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:21,010
I get really tired of bending over to pick
it up again so often.

28
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:21,450
[beat]

29
00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:27,030
>> Fluttershy: Well, that's okay. I guess
the exercise is good for me.

30
00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:29,200
[bell ringing]

31
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,220
>> Fluttershy: Such a time-efficient bell
on that clock. Gosh, you'd think that a lot

32
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:39,060
more clocks would be like that because they're
all about saving time. ...My life is really

33
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:46,060
boring. Oh, wait, I just remembered! I'm sorry,
Angel. I'm gonna have to shower another time.

34
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:49,540
There's something going on at the Sugarcube
Corner.

35
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:54,390
>> Rainbow Dash: Hey, you guys. Since you're
guarding Celestia, is it okay that I've been

36
00:02:54,390 --> 00:02:58,460
arrested a few times? It's not for criminal
stuff. It's because I fly really fast and

37
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:02,540
crash through walls, and then sometimes ponies
call the police and I get arrested for breaking

38
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:03,340
and entering.
[beat]

39
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:06,850
>> Rainbow Dash: If you could change the laws,
that would be really great because I get in

40
00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:12,370
trouble with that a lot. It's cool. I'm friends
with Celestia. Okay, see you guys later.

41
00:03:12,370 --> 00:03:18,340
>> Princess Celestia: So I take it you are
the yellow girl that Twilight has been ominously

42
00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:20,220
referring to in letters?

43
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:22,480
>> Fluttershy: Ominously? Like how do you
mean?

44
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:27,680
>> Princess Celestia: She continually refers
to a yellow girl in numerous situations without

45
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:32,760
ever connecting any other reference. In fact,
it's why I'm presently in Ponyville.

46
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,540
>> Fluttershy: Oh. Then yes. I'm the yellow
one.

47
00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:41,290
>> Princess Celestia: I thought you might
be someone else. I didn't realize my student

48
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:43,480
was referring to the element of kindness.

49
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,140
>> Twilight Sparkle: [chuckling nervously]

50
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:49,810
>> Fluttershy: If you thought I was the King
in Yellow, he did come to my house recently,

51
00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:51,890
but his robes were at the dry cleaners.

52
00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:54,400
>> Princess Celestia: I can't tell if you're
joking.

53
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:59,460
>> Fluttershy: I'm so bad at social interaction!
Your bird looks really sick!

54
00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:04,620
>> Princess Celestia: It's a phoenix. In time,
it will perish and be reborn. I've heard they

55
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:10,110
can detect true innocence. But I've never
seen evidence of the rumor.

56
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,550
>> Fluttershy: Is it yours?

57
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:15,680
>> Princess Celestia: In the grand scheme,
I claim ownership of nothing. Call it an opinion

58
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:16,979
of living for a millennium.

59
00:04:16,979 --> 00:04:21,120
>> Fluttershy: Well, it was really nice of
you to bring your pet bird for no reason like

60
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,370
that. You're a lot nicer than everyone says
you are.

61
00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:30,080
>> Princess Celestia: Even a tiger can smile,
dear. I'm gonna have a look around.

62
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:37,080
>> Fluttershy: So okay, Mr. or Mrs. Phoenix.
I know you're probably really scared, but

63
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:46,250
don't you worry. Fluttershy knows how to love
an animal better than any pony in Ponyville.

64
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:53,250
You can sit right here or anywhere else you
want, but this I guess is where I'm gonna

65
00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:58,250
sit you. I bet that you've seen all kinds
of fun things at the castle. I bet you've

66
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:03,830
seen the garden. I hear the garden at the
castle has all kinds of animals that just

67
00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:05,630
love ponies.
[beat]

68
00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:10,820
>> Fluttershy: Okay, I'm gonna admit that
when I took you from your cage, I thought

69
00:05:10,820 --> 00:05:16,340
that I would come up with an idea on the way
here. But you still look really sick and I

70
00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:22,960
don't know what's wrong with you. So maybe
we can start with a pill. This is a fish pill.

71
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:29,960
I know it looks really large, but good news!
It's a suppository! [laughs weakly] It's not

72
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:37,250
really a suppository. I saw that joke on TV
and heard someone else repeat it once, and

73
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:42,530
in the right context with a good delivery,
it was kinda funny. But I screwed up the joke.

74
00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:43,690
[beat]

75
00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:49,460
>> Fluttershy: Sometimes I worry I have a
mental handicap! I think everyone has doubts

76
00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:55,790
like that sometimes though. At least I hope
everyone does. I mean, I don't hope everyone

77
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,520
is insecure. I just think that.
[beat]

78
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,340
>> Fluttershy: Can you please eat your pill?
[beat]

79
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:05,159
>> Fluttershy: Okay, you don't have to. We'll
try something else.

80
00:06:05,159 --> 00:06:11,240
>> Fluttershy: How about some soup instead?
I dissolved the pill in the soup. I don't

81
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:16,710
know if I'm supposed to do that with that
kind of pill, but I figure some medicine is

82
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:22,060
better than no medicine. So I won't force
you, but just please give it a try.

83
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:22,460
[beat]

84
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,450
>> Fluttershy: Please give it a try.
[beat]

85
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,289
>> Fluttershy: I won't force you. Just try.
[beat]

86
00:06:26,289 --> 00:06:27,770
>> Fluttershy: Try the soup.
[beat]

87
00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:34,770
>> Fluttershy: Would a rare magical bird have
a really specific diet? Would you like some

88
00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:44,199
bird seed? Or... are you maybe a bird of prey?
Actually, I don't know of any birds that drink

89
00:06:44,199 --> 00:06:47,409
soup. Maybe this was really, really, really
stupid.

90
00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:54,409
>> Fluttershy: Hold still. Hold still. Hold
still. So okay. Now I've taped feathers on

91
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:04,440
you. I figure if you look better, maybe you'll
feel better. And then you'll get better. Now

92
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:12,320
I don't think we should panic, but this is
probably the best idea I have and I am starting

93
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,860
to feel like I am rapidly losing confidence.
[knocking]

94
00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:22,169
>> Twilight Sparkle: Hey, I'm just coming
by on royal duties. I'm looking for the princess's

95
00:07:22,169 --> 00:07:26,309
bird and someone pointed me in this direction.
Oh, my God, what the crap?!

96
00:07:26,309 --> 00:07:26,909
>> Fluttershy: Sorry!

97
00:07:26,909 --> 00:07:30,509
>> Twilight Sparkle: What have you been doing?!
Are you torturing this thing for information?!

98
00:07:30,509 --> 00:07:31,419
>> Fluttershy: No.

99
00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:34,389
>> Twilight Sparkle: Good, because it doesn't
know anything!

100
00:07:34,389 --> 00:07:37,909
>> Fluttershy: It just looked really sick
and I thought it needed affection.

101
00:07:37,909 --> 00:07:41,800
>> Twilight Sparkle: What do you think, the
God-Princess of Equestria doesn't have her

102
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,330
own personal bird handler?!

103
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:47,220
>> Fluttershy: I don't see how a professional
can offer as much love as—

104
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:52,360
>> Twilight Sparkle: Stop! Stop! I know him
personally! He loves this bird! I know because

105
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:57,490
baby dragons love to eat phoenix eggs! And
Spike, you know, he will do things if he thinks

106
00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:58,610
he's not gonna get caught!

107
00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:01,819
>> Fluttershy: Okay, well, that might be,
but I am really good with animals.

108
00:08:01,819 --> 00:08:03,789
>> Twilight Sparkle: Okay. What is your name?

109
00:08:03,789 --> 00:08:04,599
>> Fluttershy: It's Fluttershy.

110
00:08:04,599 --> 00:08:09,050
>> Twilight Sparkle: Well, guess what? The
bird handler's name is Phoenix Keeper and

111
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:11,080
his cutie mark is a phoenix!

112
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:16,860
>> Fluttershy: Well, obviously he's not as
gentle then, because my cutie mark is butterflies.

113
00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:17,870
And that means—

114
00:08:17,870 --> 00:08:21,639
>> Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure? Are you
sure it's butterflies and not, like, dicks

115
00:08:21,639 --> 00:08:23,370
penetrating the butts of society?

116
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,509
>> Fluttershy: No, they don't even look like
that.

117
00:08:25,509 --> 00:08:28,539
>> Twilight Sparkle: Really? Because, you
know, I've never seen butterflies with blue

118
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:32,560
bodies and pink wings, but I've known quite
a few guys with blue junk and I've seen quite

119
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,330
a few ponies with pink butts!

120
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:37,459
>> Fluttershy: They're not butts! They have
antennae!

121
00:08:37,459 --> 00:08:37,899
[thud]

122
00:08:37,899 --> 00:08:42,079
>> Twilight Sparkle: I am calling the guards!
Look, I'm not normally the type to get the

123
00:08:42,079 --> 00:08:45,959
royal guard involved in something, but I am
not gonna be an accomplice to something like

124
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:46,470
this.

125
00:08:46,470 --> 00:08:50,740
>> Fluttershy: Twilight, wait! If you open
the door that wide, my animal friends will

126
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:51,040
escape!

127
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,379
>> Twilight Sparkle: If you like your animal
friends so much, then why do you keep them

128
00:08:54,379 --> 00:09:01,060
locked up in a tiny little cottage that smells
like cat urine?! [bleep]

129
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:06,279
>> Twilight Sparkle: So this was some real
predictable crap right here.

130
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,959
>> Fluttershy: Maybe I can still hide the
body.

131
00:09:08,959 --> 00:09:14,149
>> Twilight Sparkle: You are so utterly beyond
screwed. Your Highness, I was too slow to

132
00:09:14,149 --> 00:09:15,029
stop her.

133
00:09:15,029 --> 00:09:21,759
>> Fluttershy: It's true. I stole the bird,
but out of a sense of love and obligation.

134
00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:26,089
And it was good intentions that led to the
murder.

135
00:09:26,089 --> 00:09:26,939
[honk, fanfare]

136
00:09:26,939 --> 00:09:31,220
>> Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] Well, thank God.
It was just at the end of its stupid life

137
00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:31,529
cycle.

138
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:37,939
>> Fluttershy: Oh. Well, in that case... Princess
Celestia, I'm very sorry I stole your bird.

139
00:09:37,939 --> 00:09:42,689
But I think I learned a valuable lesson about
asking permission.

140
00:09:42,689 --> 00:09:49,689
>> Princess Celestia: I could care less. But
it would set a bad precedent to ignore.

141
00:10:18,529 --> 00:10:25,529
[cage slams shut]