1 00:00:08,069 --> 00:00:13,559 >> Rarity: AJ... explain to me again why I'm not at my boutique and am instead escorting 2 00:00:13,559 --> 00:00:15,889 an apple tree all the way out to the desert! 3 00:00:15,889 --> 00:00:19,570 >> Applejack: Well, Miss Rarity, I reckon that it's a really important journey. 4 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:21,410 >> Rarity: Important to whom exactly? 5 00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:25,730 >> Applejack: To me. It's important to me. And y'all are my friend, so thank you very 6 00:00:25,730 --> 00:00:26,010 much. 7 00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:30,750 >> Rarity: AJ, I hate you. Openly and truly. I do not keep it a secret. 8 00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:34,129 >> Applejack: Oh, well, oh, well. 'Cause y'all are gonna help me lift this here tree and 9 00:00:34,129 --> 00:00:37,820 take it to wherever it needs to go as soon as we get wherever it is that we're goin'. 10 00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:41,920 >> Rarity: And you are every bit as stupid as this trip if you think I'm going to help 11 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:42,989 you lift a tree. 12 00:00:42,989 --> 00:00:47,260 >> Applejack: Would you just stop your bellyachin'? I paid for your tickets. I feel like this 13 00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:51,269 is a pretty fair deal. I never said that you wouldn't help me lift an apple tree. 14 00:00:51,269 --> 00:00:55,239 >> Rarity: And I don't suppose that you're familiar with opportunity costs because you 15 00:00:55,239 --> 00:01:01,030 are a mudpony high school dropout! If I skip a week of work, it will still cost me a thousand 16 00:01:01,030 --> 00:01:01,289 bits! 17 00:01:01,289 --> 00:01:05,600 >> Applejack: Oh, well, then why'd y'all come along, Miss Theoretical-High-Fashion-Workin'-All-the-Time, 18 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,370 even though I know you don't have a job right now? 19 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:11,250 >> Rarity: Oh, I do not expect you to know how I work and the fact that, although I'm 20 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:15,920 not working all the time, when I do work, I'm working very hard. And besides, everyone 21 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,430 else was going and I didn't want to be excluded. And I thought we were gonna go and see your 22 00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:20,619 rich family in Manehattan. 23 00:01:20,619 --> 00:01:26,170 >> Applejack: My family in Manehattan are orange farmers. This is an apple tree. Now, 24 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:30,549 I could understand if you couldn't tell the difference between one apple tree and another, 25 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:34,180 but if you can't tell the difference between an apple and an orange, well, so much for 26 00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:35,560 your high-falutin' education! 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,540 >> Rarity: Is that so? Well, you know what? I was talking to the bachelor herd and do 28 00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:43,450 you know what they said? They all agreed that those freckles of yours, those white spots? 29 00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:45,049 They look like a fungal infection! 30 00:01:45,049 --> 00:01:48,829 >> Applejack: Oh, I-I'm sorry, can y'all speak up? The only thing I can hear is the honk 31 00:01:48,829 --> 00:01:49,720 of the town bicycle. 32 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:54,740 >> Rarity: Joke's on you. I don't have a horn; I have a bell! And I'm about to ring yours! 33 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:58,509 >> Twilight Sparkle: Hey, guys? There's something going on up here. 34 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:02,040 >> Rainbow Dash: Man! Look at all those fat, horny guys! 35 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,920 >> Twilight Sparkle: You make me want to kill myself. They're bison, Dash. 36 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,040 >> Pinkie Pie: Hey! Yes. You! You are filthy! 37 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,190 >> Twilight Sparkle: They're a little too close to the train. 38 00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:13,230 >> Rainbow Dash: Oh, I'll go and tell them. 39 00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:15,290 >> Rainbow Dash: Hey—! [crash] 40 00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:19,159 >> Pinkie Pie: And thus ends the terrible reign of Rainbow Dash. Yes. 41 00:02:19,159 --> 00:02:21,139 >> Applejack: Hey! They're stealin' my tree! 42 00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:24,110 >> Twilight Sparkle: Wasn't Spike sleeping under the bed in that car? 43 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:27,780 >> Spike: Oi! What in the hell is going on?! 44 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:28,470 >> Twilight Sparkle: Oh, yeah. There he is. 45 00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:30,480 >> Applejack: Spike! Save the tree! Breathe fire on 'em! 46 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,579 >> Spike: I hold all of you responsiblllllllllle! 47 00:02:32,579 --> 00:02:37,799 >> Applejack: ...And he held out the last syllable of "responsible", and that's the 48 00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:42,230 last we saw of him. Those bison ran off with our tree and took Twilight's pet Spike with 49 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:42,410 'em! 50 00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:44,190 >> Rarity: Are you the cousin that AJ slept with? 51 00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:47,730 >> Twilight Sparkle: Spike is really more of a slave than a pet. I mean, he's bitten 52 00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:49,739 kids before, so... heads up. 53 00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:52,550 >> Braeburn: So, uh, you gossip with your friends, huh? 54 00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:57,009 >> Applejack: I don't exactly say... [stuttering] Rarity's kinda extrapolatin' from some stuff. 55 00:02:57,009 --> 00:03:00,010 >> Rarity: I don't know, AJ. If I were you, I might extrapolate with him. 56 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,080 >> Braeburn: We ain't gonna have to get married now, are we? 57 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,269 >> Applejack: No, no, no! Extrapolatin' just means there's a lot of insubstantial rumors 58 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,870 and no reason for anyone to... be worried. 59 00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:09,390 >> Braeburn: [sigh] Thank Celestia. 60 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:13,220 >> Applejack: Yeah, praise be, though I don't know if we should be thankin' Celestia... 61 00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:17,040 yet. It's in our hooves. You know, if the family has its way... 62 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:21,729 >> Braeburn: Yeah, yeah, sure, not-not to eliminate, uh... Hey, speakin' of family, 63 00:03:21,729 --> 00:03:22,999 how's your brother doin'? 64 00:03:22,999 --> 00:03:27,680 >> Applejack: He's fine. He said hello. Granny's still kickin', Apple Bloom still hasn't gotten 65 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:32,279 her cutie mark yet, but it'll come in time. She seems to take a shine to fixin' stuff. 66 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:36,419 >> Braeburn: That's good, that's good. So your brother though – is he still... Does... 67 00:03:36,419 --> 00:03:42,389 D-Does he still practice? Like, I mean, does he still like to practice in the bachelor 68 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,610 herd during the off-seasons? 69 00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:48,670 >> Applejack: Why, Braeburn, I don't... know? I don't keep up with that sort of thing. 70 00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:50,880 >> Braeburn: Does he ever say it helps out a lot? 71 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,740 >> Applejack: It don't... I imagine. 72 00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:54,089 >> Braeburn: [quietly] Okay. 73 00:03:54,089 --> 00:03:57,260 >> Applejack: So about Spike, the tree, and the buffalo... 74 00:03:57,260 --> 00:04:01,600 >> Braeburn: Right, right. Well, it's a right big deal, because as you know, well, we've 75 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,839 all busted our humps tryin' to get this apple orchard startin' in the desert. 76 00:04:04,839 --> 00:04:06,590 >> Rarity: Oh, I know something you can bust. 77 00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,189 >> Applejack: Just ignore her please! We're movin' on! 78 00:04:09,189 --> 00:04:14,070 >> Braeburn: Anyway, the earth is hard, cracked, lacks nutrients, there's virtually zero rainfall, 79 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:18,049 the soil pH is all wrong, and on top of that, we haven't done a great job prunin' the fruit 80 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:22,009 to prevent the tree limbs from breakin'. Those darn buffalo are gonna be the death of this 81 00:04:22,009 --> 00:04:26,780 harvest! We've established ourselves here. And then they showed up demandin' the right 82 00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:31,750 to stampede across this land. And for what? I don't know. We didn't ask. 83 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:37,080 >> Braeburn: But just look! The town is approximately no more than fifty feet across! Why don't 84 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,020 they just go around us?! 85 00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:43,480 >> Rainbow Dash: Man, I'm lost in the desert. Any minute now, I'm gonna get attacked by 86 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,009 giant scorpions. 87 00:04:44,009 --> 00:04:47,819 >> Pinkie Pie: There is much worse things awaiting Rainbow Dash than scorpions. Yes. 88 00:04:47,819 --> 00:04:51,700 >> Rainbow Dash: Pinkie? What are you doing in the desert? Wait, are you a mirage? 89 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:56,870 >> Pinkie Pie: Pinkie Pie is a menagerie of justice and suffering. Yes. Her piercing gaze 90 00:04:56,870 --> 00:05:00,560 saw through the fakery of your death. Who are you evading, Rainbow Dash? Your methods 91 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:01,260 are amateur. Yes. 92 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:06,870 >> Rainbow Dash: You gotta be quiet. I'm evading giant scorpions. Also, help me keep an eye 93 00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:09,290 out for those big, fat, horny guys. [pause] 94 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:14,780 >> Rainbow Dash: Oh, now what the crap is this? You fly away, Pinkie! I'll stay and 95 00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:15,220 fight! 96 00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:19,090 >> Spike: Now there's no need for that. "Skittles" and "Crazy" are with me. 97 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:23,090 >> Spike: So it turns out they stole AJ's tree because they really hate the apple orchard 98 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:26,940 that her family's putting together. Also, they hate ponies. But they're okay with dragons. 99 00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:28,820 >> Rainbow Dash: How'd they know we had the tree? 100 00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,820 >> Spike: I didn't ask. I guess they guessed. 101 00:05:30,820 --> 00:05:34,060 >> Rainbow Dash: Well then, how would they know that the tree was specifically in the 102 00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:34,510 caboose? 103 00:05:34,510 --> 00:05:35,750 >> Spike: Does it really matter? 104 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:39,410 >> Rainbow Dash: It so totally does matter! What if the tree was in, like, one of the 105 00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:40,930 front cars instead of the caboose? 106 00:05:40,930 --> 00:05:44,360 >> Spike: Well, I'd derail the whole train and kill everyone, but that's me. I can't 107 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,050 speak for them. 108 00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:48,200 >> Rainbow Dash: How come AJ is building an orchard in the desert? 109 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:52,200 >> Spike: I got kidnapped before I even got to Appleloosa. And besides, I try not to ask 110 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,850 questions because it never makes sense. 111 00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:54,890 >> Rainbow Dash: It's all very suspicious. 112 00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:58,440 >> Little Strongheart: [with Indian accent] I can tell you why they are building an orchard: 113 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,020 to make money by impeding our stampeding path. 114 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,370 >> Rainbow Dash: Who's this fat guy? 115 00:06:02,370 --> 00:06:06,760 >> Spike: This is Strongheart, Dash. She's not fat. Or a guy. She's a bison. 116 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,950 >> Rainbow Dash: Well, I don't know how to tell their gender. 117 00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,800 >> Spike: Same way you tell a mare from a stallion. 118 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,930 >> Rainbow Dash: I am not here to look at buffalo butts. 119 00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,520 >> Spike: You're not here for any reason. 120 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,320 >> Rainbow Dash: Exactly. 121 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,920 >> Spike: Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead. 122 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,160 >> Little Strongheart: Well, the point I was trying to make is that we have tried to negotiate 123 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,970 with the ponies, but we have made no progress. 124 00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:25,120 >> Rainbow Dash: Okay, now, when you said "negotiate", do you mean, like, you cried 125 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:29,720 in the store? 'Cause my mom says that, when you make one-sided demands, that is not negotiating. 126 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,670 >> Little Strongheart: That is very disrespectful. It is our land. We're not going to offer anything 127 00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:34,830 to use our own land. 128 00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:38,220 >> Spike: Look, she's really slow. So let's have Chief Thunderhooves lay it out and then 129 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:39,520 decide on a death sentence or something. 130 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:43,060 >> Chief Thunderhooves: [with Indian accent] The annual stampede is a lengthy ritual symbolic 131 00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:48,400 of the endless cycle of death and rebirth. Each year it is done, and every year we perform 132 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,030 a choreographed song and dance number about the travels. 133 00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:54,340 >> Little Strongheart: But this year, there will be no song or dance routine. How can 134 00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:58,210 we choreograph when we have to travel fifty feet to the left or to the right just to get 135 00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,000 around this town? 136 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,400 >> Chief Thunderhooves: When I am reincarnated, I do not want to be told that we could do 137 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,460 not this because I was too lazy in a previous life! 138 00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:10,670 >> Rainbow Dash: I know how it is to be struck by fear with laziness! I will assist you! 139 00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:15,050 >> Applejack: Okay, so here's our plan for savin' Rainbow Dash from those buffalo. We 140 00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:18,370 wander off into the desert, and then it works itself out. 141 00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:21,240 >> Pinkie Pie: We save time by finding you and the buffaloes! Yes. 142 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,650 >> Twilight Sparkle: Does anyone else just feel clumsy and all over the place today? 143 00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:29,160 >> Rainbow Dash: And look! I brought a buffalo! I brought it here to negotiate with you guys. 144 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:33,150 Okay, so here's the deal. You guys are building on their land, so all you gotta do is clear 145 00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:37,450 some of the trees so they can run through there, and that's it. That's my plan. 146 00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:41,070 >> Braeburn: Well, clearin' a path would cost us a quarter million bits at least. 147 00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:42,680 >> Rainbow Dash: Okay! I'll go tell them! 148 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,750 >> Rainbow Dash: So they said the land is worth, like, a quarter billion bits, Chief 149 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:46,070 Fatguy. 150 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:50,250 >> Chief Thunderhooves: Are you being serious right now? Our land is worth a quarter billion 151 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:54,000 bits? Well, then tell them they can have it for a quarter billion bits! 152 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,080 >> Rainbow Dash: So they said you can have the land for a quarter billion bits. 153 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:02,500 >> Braeburn: Oh, well, no way! That's insane! It'd take us generations to earn back that 154 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:02,670 money! 155 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:05,760 >> Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but you're gonna be here for generations. That's how come the 156 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,140 land is worth so much. 157 00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:12,510 >> Braeburn: No, no, no. A billion bits right now is worth way more than a billion bits 158 00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:16,710 several generations down the line. Don't y'all know how to do cost projections? 159 00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,159 >> Rainbow Dash: I sure don't. 160 00:08:18,159 --> 00:08:22,750 >> Braeburn: Well, you've gotta figure out a lot of inflation and so on. Basically, no, 161 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:24,780 this land don't got infinite worth. 162 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:29,419 >> Rainbow Dash: So apparently I think I misunderstood how much the land was worth. That's how much 163 00:08:29,419 --> 00:08:30,860 they spent on the apples. 164 00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:33,690 >> Chief Thunderhooves: They spent a quarter billion on apples?! 165 00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:37,870 >> Rainbow Dash: Yeah. I mean, AJ's family is just nuts about apples. Although I guess 166 00:08:37,870 --> 00:08:41,529 that was maybe how much they thought it would be worth in the future. I dunno. Braeburn 167 00:08:41,529 --> 00:08:43,779 tried to explain, but it was just apple-based insanity. 168 00:08:43,779 --> 00:08:48,550 >> Chief Thunderhooves: Okay. Do not tell anyone I tried to sell the land. The land 169 00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:49,150 is sacred. 170 00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,170 >> Rainbow Dash: Okay. 171 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:54,089 >> Chief Thunderhooves: They cannot have the land if they are not going to pay us somehow. 172 00:08:54,089 --> 00:08:55,920 Tell them they cannot have the land. 173 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,810 >> Rainbow Dash: So they say you guys can't have the land unless you pay for it, so here's 174 00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:00,269 the deal. 175 00:09:00,269 --> 00:09:03,320 >> Rainbow Dash: They said if you're not willing to negotiate, then you have to pay them a 176 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,440 quarter billion bits to use some of the land. 177 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,580 >> Chief Thunderhooves: What? That is outrageous. It is our sacred land. Tell them they can 178 00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,590 lick my butthole! 179 00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:13,889 >> Rainbow Dash: So they said you could have the land if you lick the chief's butt. 180 00:09:13,889 --> 00:09:16,420 >> Braeburn: Would that really make this go away? 181 00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:20,480 >> Chief Thunderhooves: Of course not! Good lord, what do these ponies think of us?! 182 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,850 >> Braeburn: Well, why did he offer it if it wasn't a serious negotiation? 183 00:09:23,850 --> 00:09:28,040 >> Chief Thunderhooves: I cannot believe they thought that was an offer! What kind of depraved 184 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:32,980 society do you come from?! I was trying to indicate that his proposal of us paying him 185 00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:33,959 is unacceptable. 186 00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:38,300 >> Braeburn: And here I thought we are almost at a literal bottom to the solution for this 187 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:44,900 conflict. Well, how about this? We'll give them a yield of our crops every year and we'll 188 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:48,160 lay down a trail for them to use that goes around the orchard. 189 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,870 >> Chief Thunderhooves: The land is sacred and worth a quarter billion bits. I am not 190 00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:58,040 going to settle for an apple pie once or twice a year as payment for this outrage. I think 191 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:03,020 they need to be buffalo in the first place. Have that fellow marry my daughter. That might 192 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:03,600 solve it. 193 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,850 >> Little Strongheart: I don't want to get married. 194 00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:07,209 >> Chief Thunderhooves: Too bad! This is for politics! 195 00:10:07,209 --> 00:10:11,550 >> Braeburn: Oh, gee, I-I don't know about marriage. You know, I-I've been thinkin', 196 00:10:11,550 --> 00:10:14,580 and maybe, you know, I might be more happy as a bachelor. 197 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:19,160 >> Chief Thunderhooves: He dare snub my daughter's hoof in marriage?! I will see to it that he 198 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,710 is boiled alive! We will strip the skin from his very flesh and wear it as a symbol of 199 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,210 our rightful heritage over the region! 200 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:28,870 >> Little Strongheart: It is okay, I am not mad. He was kind of a girly horse anyway, 201 00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:29,830 and I'm not into that. 202 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,790 >> Chief Thunderhooves: He has hurt your self-esteem! He will be killed! 203 00:10:32,790 --> 00:10:37,740 >> Braeburn: Now wait! Why am I the target of aggression?! You tell him that if he's 204 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:40,540 gonna wear my skin, I'll have his ass on a plate! 205 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:45,190 >> Chief Thunderhooves: Again with this? I have had enough. It is time for war. 206 00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:48,600 [tribal drums pounding] 207 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:55,600 >> Rainbow Dash: Okay, so... something went wrong. I think I need a do-over.