1 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:14,050 >> Twilight Sparkle: Hey there, twitchy. What are you up to today? 2 00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:16,790 >> Pinkie Pie: Nothing. Yes. Pinkie maintains the innocence. 3 00:00:16,790 --> 00:00:19,230 >> Twilight Sparkle: It looks like you're maintaining a stupid hat. 4 00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:21,340 >> Pinkie Pie: How do you dare? It is the Rainbow Hat. 5 00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:23,830 >> Twilight Sparkle: How long have you had tremors like that, Pinkie? 6 00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:26,380 >> Pinkie Pie: Pinkie has not the tremors. Yes. Behold! 7 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:30,520 >> Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, I see it's your butt. Thanks. Pinkie, tremors like that are 8 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:35,930 usually caused by multiple sclerosis, tumors, brain injuries... Have you notified a doctor? 9 00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:39,250 >> Pinkie Pie: Pinkie does not need the doctor for two reasons. First is that the doctor 10 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:43,870 will fill Pinkie's teeth with fluoride. Yes. Second is that Pinkie is aware of what causes 11 00:00:43,870 --> 00:00:44,290 her ailment. 12 00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:45,320 >> Twilight Sparkle: It's not zebras. 13 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:50,730 >> Pinkie Pie: Of course it is not zebras! Yes. UV radiation is beamed directly into 14 00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:55,400 Pinkie's body from Celestia's sun. It is giving Pinkie the twitches and also psychic powers. 15 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,899 >> Twilight Sparkle: If you're insinuating that Celestia kills her political opponents 16 00:00:58,899 --> 00:01:02,190 with UV radiation, you should not insinuate that. 17 00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:04,040 >> Pinkie Pie: Pinkie will not be silenced! Yes. 18 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,869 >> Twilight Sparkle: It'll spread fear of Celestia, which is exactly what she wants. 19 00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:08,139 [beat] 20 00:01:08,139 --> 00:01:10,060 >> Pinkie Pie: Pinkie will say nothing. Yes. 21 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:13,250 >> Twilight Sparkle: Good. But I guess if we were lucky, everyone would just assume 22 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:15,030 that you're insane anyway. [plop] 23 00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:18,070 >> Pinkie Pie: You have acquired a frog. Yes. 24 00:01:18,070 --> 00:01:22,640 >> Fluttershy: Sorry. I'm trying to take all the frogs to a new home 'cause I noticed that 25 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:26,869 they were overpopulating and I didn't really plan this out very well— 26 00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,390 >> Twilight Sparkle: Can you just shut up and go away please? 27 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:30,869 >> Fluttershy: Okay. 28 00:01:30,869 --> 00:01:35,409 >> Twilight Sparkle: Raining frogs. That girl is actually a plague. 29 00:01:35,409 --> 00:01:36,090 [beat] 30 00:01:36,090 --> 00:01:40,430 >> Twilight Sparkle: See, 'cause it's like in the story of... Never mind. I hate you. 31 00:01:40,430 --> 00:01:44,100 >> Pinkie Pie: We should not allow the yellow one to pass with this transgression! She heads 32 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,009 towards the Bogg! Yes. No one will assist her there! 33 00:01:47,009 --> 00:01:47,310 [thud] 34 00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:51,119 >> Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I got stuff to do, and I am not bonding with you. 35 00:01:51,119 --> 00:01:53,000 >> Applejack: Hey, y'all hooligans. Whatcha all up to? 36 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,069 >> Twilight Sparkle: Oh, hey, AJ. Same old. Pinkie's got a brain tumor— 37 00:01:56,069 --> 00:01:57,390 >> Pinkie Pie: Also psychic powers! 38 00:01:57,390 --> 00:02:00,790 >> Twilight Sparkle: —But mainly a tumor. And I told her to go see a doctor, but she 39 00:02:00,790 --> 00:02:01,380 won't go. 40 00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:04,840 >> Applejack: Well, I don't believe in doctors personally. You know how they say. "An apple 41 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,279 a day keeps the doctor away." And I am an Apple. 42 00:02:07,279 --> 00:02:10,950 >> Twilight Sparkle: Well then, AJ, you am retarded. Don't you at least have a gynecologist 43 00:02:10,950 --> 00:02:11,519 or something? 44 00:02:11,519 --> 00:02:13,590 >> Applejack: Nah. I eat apples. I don't need one. 45 00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:16,080 >> Pinkie Pie: The gynecologist filled Pinkie's teeth with fluoride! 46 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,900 >> Twilight Sparkle: The hell kind of doctors are you seeing, Pinkie?! 47 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:22,489 >> Pinkie Pie: Pinkie tells you, yes, it is the kind that puts fluoride in Pinkie's teeth! 48 00:02:22,489 --> 00:02:25,440 >> Applejack: See? Y'all can't trust a doctor. They don't really know what they're doin', 49 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:26,540 so you never know what's gonna happen. 50 00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:27,849 >> Twilight Sparkle: You guys are gonna die. 51 00:02:27,849 --> 00:02:30,819 >> Applejack: Granny never saw no doctors, and she's lived darn near forever. 52 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:33,900 >> Twilight Sparkle: [scoffs] You can't use a case study to gauge the effectiveness of 53 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:34,780 a medical treatment. 54 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,480 >> Applejack: Well, that's funny, Twilight. I would've pegged you as someone bein' all 55 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,030 about studies. [beat] 56 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:41,870 >> Twilight Sparkle: Case studies don't have statistical significance! 57 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,920 >> Pinkie Pie: As we dally here, the yellow one escapes our grasp! 58 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,370 >> Applejack: What's this about Fluttershy now? 59 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:50,340 >> Twilight Sparkle: Oh, some yellow girl was flying to the Bogg and Pinkie wants to 60 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:51,010 mess her up. 61 00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:54,379 >> Applejack: Now I know that can't be right because everybody knows there's a horrible 62 00:02:54,379 --> 00:02:56,580 hydra that lives in the Bogg and it eats ponies. 63 00:02:56,580 --> 00:02:58,300 >> Pinkie Pie: Well, that is where she goes. Yes. 64 00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,690 >> Applejack: Are y'all sure about that? 65 00:02:59,690 --> 00:03:00,569 >> Twilight Sparkle: That's what we saw. 66 00:03:00,569 --> 00:03:02,480 >> Applejack: Well, then we need to book it! Come on, you two! 67 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,910 >> Applejack: I can't believe y'all don't know about the hydra that lives spittin' distance 68 00:03:05,910 --> 00:03:06,320 from Ponyville! 69 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,420 >> Pinkie Pie: His name is Richard, he is allergic to peanuts, and he has a birthday 70 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:11,510 in four weeks. 71 00:03:11,510 --> 00:03:12,540 >> Spike: She's over here, guys. 72 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,299 >> Pinkie Pie: We have revealed the yellow one! 73 00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:17,300 >> Applejack: Whew! Thank goodness. Man, for a minute there, I thought we were gonna have 74 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,900 some great big thing goin' on, like... a funeral. 75 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:23,800 >> Twilight Sparkle: Well, we were definitely gonna find this girl. Look at her. She's so 76 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,700 yellow, I bet if she walked into a white room, the walls would glow. 77 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:27,040 [beat] 78 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,099 >> Twilight Sparkle: What kind of tree is that behind you guys? 79 00:03:30,099 --> 00:03:31,310 [hydra roars] 80 00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:36,180 >> Twilight Sparkle: Dammit! See, this is why we need to tell ponies when we go someplace 81 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:38,980 dangerous! They're probably not gonna look for us for forty-eight hours! 82 00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:41,309 >> Pinkie Pie: We should be running away! Yes. 83 00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:45,099 >> Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy: [panting] 84 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,719 [hydra's footsteps thudding] 85 00:03:46,719 --> 00:03:51,589 >> Fluttershy: Thanks for coming to save me, you guys. 86 00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:55,769 >> Pinkie Pie: We will die as we lived! Yes. Hating Fluttershy! 87 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:59,969 >> Fluttershy: I agree with that sentiment! I'm so sorry, everyone! 88 00:03:59,969 --> 00:04:02,609 >> Spike: Twilight, can't you do anything with your magic powers? 89 00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:06,769 >> Twilight Sparkle: Oh, crap! I just remembered I'm really good at magic! You guys get across 90 00:04:06,769 --> 00:04:13,080 the ledge! I'll cover your asses! [screams] [hydra roars] 91 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:20,040 [sounds of fighting and Twilight's agony] 92 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,680 >> Twilight Sparkle: Somebody help... 93 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,100 >> Spike: So you're sure this is how you want to spend your time? 94 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:31,780 >> Twilight Sparkle: There's something neurologically wrong with Pinkie. 95 00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:34,250 >> Spike: I knew that. Everyone's well aware of that. 96 00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:37,280 >> Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, but everyone's also perfectly content to call it "Pinkie's 97 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:40,190 magic" or whatever. Afraid it's gonna turn out to be a magical tumor. 98 00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:43,120 >> Spike: And if it is, what exactly are you planning to do? 99 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,780 >> Twilight Sparkle: Well, I figure she's got to be asleep to do surgery anyway, so... 100 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:48,440 maybe just get her while she's asleep and do surgery. 101 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,860 >> Spike: That's very unethical. 102 00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,990 >> Twilight Sparkle: So is letting my friends die from idiocy! 103 00:04:51,990 --> 00:04:55,610 >> Spike: You ever worry that you might be an idiot too? Like, we're all idiots? 104 00:04:55,610 --> 00:04:58,889 >> Twilight Sparkle: Ehhhh, good save there, buddy. We're all idiots. 105 00:04:58,889 --> 00:05:02,370 >> Spike: I'm just suggesting that your own intelligence can't possibly be saving you 106 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,710 from yourself on all occasions. 107 00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:07,280 >> Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, but you know what? My intelligence is right in this case. 108 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,199 >> Spike: But it's always right, even when you're wrong. And that's the problem. 109 00:05:10,199 --> 00:05:13,830 >> Twilight Sparkle: I am always right. Thank you, Spike. So let me just get back to watching 110 00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:14,710 my subject. 111 00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:19,460 >> Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand how Pinkie can be so boring when she's not tormenting 112 00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:19,910 ponies. 113 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:21,740 >> Spike: Maybe you don't really know her that well. 114 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:25,740 >> Twilight Sparkle: What's there to know? I dunno, her balance looks fine. I'm not seeing 115 00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:27,649 a lot of mood swings by Pinkie's standard. 116 00:05:27,649 --> 00:05:31,129 >> Spike: We've been watching her for aeons! I think we can rule out a tumor. 117 00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:33,720 >> Twilight Sparkle: I dunno. You remember that time that I thought you didn't have a 118 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,620 tummy ache and then you threw up all over the floor? 119 00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:39,720 >> Spike: That was different. I told you I had a stomachache and you told me I was wrong. 120 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,669 You told me to suck it up. Instead, I just barfed. 121 00:05:41,669 --> 00:05:44,740 >> Twilight Sparkle: I was so mad at you! If you were sick, you should've just said 122 00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:44,930 so. 123 00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,539 >> Spike: Isn't that exactly what I did? 124 00:05:46,539 --> 00:05:48,560 >> Twilight Sparkle: No, you were whining to get out of work. 125 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,680 >> Spike: And yet I wasn't, because I was really sick. 126 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,770 >> Twilight Sparkle: Well, you use that excuse all the time. It's not my fault if you're 127 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,810 the boy who cried wolf. 128 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:57,910 >> Spike: See, I feel like I can never really win with you because you're so much better 129 00:05:57,910 --> 00:05:58,889 at logic than I am. 130 00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:01,810 >> Twilight Sparkle: And if you're worse at logic, then there's no reason you should win 131 00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:02,439 the argument. 132 00:06:02,439 --> 00:06:06,050 >> Spike: But sometimes your logic is wrong and I don't know how to disprove it right 133 00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:09,610 away. You're always just so caught up in making things work the way you want them to. 134 00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:13,490 >> Twilight Sparkle: I'm Celestia's protege. The entire point is to learn how to get the 135 00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:14,650 things that I need. 136 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:18,250 >> Spike: Well, personally, I hope you never become a princess if I'm any indication of 137 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:19,479 what it's gonna be like for everyone. 138 00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:22,139 >> Twilight Sparkle: Eh. I wouldn't hold your breath on it anyway. 139 00:06:22,139 --> 00:06:27,259 >> Twilight Sparkle: I dunno, Spike. I'm starting to think you might be right. She seems pretty 140 00:06:27,259 --> 00:06:28,189 healthy – physically, anyway. 141 00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:31,520 >> Spike: Well, Twilight, I'm glad you're finally getting over it. But I feel like we 142 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,840 spent too much time on this. 143 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,479 >> Twilight Sparkle: What are you talking about? We have a ton of data. We've got a 144 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,490 lot of Pinkie Pie's patterns on record. 145 00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:39,919 >> Spike: I thought the point was to prove she had a magical tumor. 146 00:06:39,919 --> 00:06:42,990 >> Twilight Sparkle: Well, that was my first hypothesis, but now we have a ton of data 147 00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,310 and I can make a new one. 148 00:06:44,310 --> 00:06:47,889 >> Spike: Twilight, nae! It's time to stop. We've shut ourselves from the world to watch 149 00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:48,490 Pinkie Pie. 150 00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:50,490 >> Twilight Sparkle: I'm studying friendship, Spike. 151 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:53,840 >> Spike: I think you were meant to study by making friends, not watching them. 152 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:57,050 >> Twilight Sparkle: That's stupid. If you interfere with the test subjects, then the 153 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:57,750 study is ruined. 154 00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,340 >> Spike: I just don't think you're supposed to do it empirically. 155 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:04,410 >> Twilight Sparkle: Then what's the point? Why would Celestia even ask me to do that? 156 00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:04,990 She knows me. 157 00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:08,460 >> Spike: Can't we at least try asking Pinkie directly now about some of her habits? 158 00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:11,090 >> Twilight Sparkle: I think she's gonna lie about her sexual activity. 159 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:12,789 >> Spike: Don't ask her about that then. 160 00:07:12,789 --> 00:07:15,569 >> Twilight Sparkle: She's gonna try and pretend she's in better health than she is. 161 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,700 >> Spike: If she feels healthy, she doesn't need treatment. 162 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:21,310 >> Twilight Sparkle: Not necessarily, but alright. Let's do it. 163 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:27,500 >> Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Pinkie, I'm just gonna ask you a few questions, and I want 164 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,500 you to answer them honestly. 165 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,889 >> Pinkie Pie: You promised to Pinkie bondage. Yes. 166 00:07:30,889 --> 00:07:34,430 >> Twilight Sparkle: I did. And you're in bondage. I knew you'd go for it. 167 00:07:34,430 --> 00:07:38,160 >> Pinkie Pie: Okay. It is different. Yes. When is Twilight in bondage as well? 168 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,360 >> Twilight Sparkle: I'd ask how you think that's supposed to work, but I already know. 169 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,930 Sadly. Today we're gonna learn about things I don't know. 170 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,820 >> Pinkie Pie: You lied to Pinkie for research! 171 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:48,360 >> Twilight Sparkle: That's right! Now answer my questions honestly! 172 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,439 >> Pinkie Pie: Okay! Yes. 173 00:07:49,439 --> 00:07:52,509 >> Twilight Sparkle: Do you ever have headaches, specifically in the morning? 174 00:07:52,509 --> 00:07:54,119 >> Pinkie Pie: Yes, but only on Thursdays. 175 00:07:54,119 --> 00:07:57,080 >> Twilight Sparkle: Do you feel like you have problems with nausea or vomiting? 176 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:01,140 >> Pinkie Pie: Only when Pinkie is drunk. Yes. Or not drunk enough. On the Thursday. 177 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:04,260 >> Twilight Sparkle: Do you find you have issues with your hearing or your vision? 178 00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:07,289 >> Pinkie Pie: No. Yes. Except on Thursday. 179 00:08:07,289 --> 00:08:10,389 >> Twilight Sparkle: Do you sometimes find it difficult to remember things? 180 00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:14,340 >> Pinkie Pie: Yes! Pinkie cannot remember any of last Thursday! Pinkie begins to see 181 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:14,810 a pattern. 182 00:08:14,810 --> 00:08:18,009 >> Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, how do you remember having all these symptoms on Thursday if you 183 00:08:18,009 --> 00:08:19,689 can't even remember last Thursday?! 184 00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:21,669 >> Pinkie Pie: Maybe Pinkie remembers incorrectly. 185 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:24,020 >> Twilight Sparkle: Then maybe Pinkie goes home! 186 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,560 >> Spike: So, Twilight, what do you think? 187 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,870 >> Twilight Sparkle: I think Pinkie Pie is a microcosm of case studies and she's never 188 00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:30,930 gonna fit into a model. 189 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,520 >> Spike: Well, certainly not with that attitude. 190 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:36,079 >> Twilight Sparkle: You know what I think? I think the moral of the story is that the 191 00:08:36,079 --> 00:08:37,640 social sciences are retarded. 192 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,309 >> Spike: That's gonna make it awfully tough to research friendship, you know. 193 00:08:40,309 --> 00:08:43,149 >> Twilight Sparkle: Well, you know, I think that when you get right down to it, we could've 194 00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:47,269 learned a lot of different things from this little episode, but the main thing to take 195 00:08:47,269 --> 00:08:51,820 home is that you just can't describe ponies with models. They're too diverse. They don't 196 00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:52,070 fit. 197 00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:52,850 >> Spike: Okay, great. 198 00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:56,769 >> Twilight Sparkle: Anyway, we need to figure out a report for Celestia, so tell her that 199 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:59,820 "friends are roadblocks sometimes but not always". 200 00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:01,410 >> Spike: That's what you're going with, huh? 201 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:08,410 >> Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. I mean, we need to come up with something. 202 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:16,970 >> Spike: Okay.