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>> Cheerilee: And so, when the griffons struck
at the heart of Equestria, our great leader

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burned the cities and abandoned them, demanding
a winter be descended over the land. Then,

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with their armies trapped in the cold, the
god-princess forged into their territory,

4
00:00:52,239 --> 00:00:57,579
burning their food, killing their families,
and raping their land of provisions to feed

5
00:00:57,579 --> 00:01:02,380
her mighty armies. This act not only cut off
communications to the higher-ups at home,

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but when the griffon armies returned from
the front, they found themselves without food

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00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,759
or family. The effects of Celestia's strategy
were so devastating...

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>> Diamond Tiara: Pssst!

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00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:16,439
>> Cheerilee: ...the griffons are now an endangered
species, facing the threat of extinction.

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Apple Bloom! Are you passing a note during
a lecture on our glorious god-leader?

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>> Apple Bloom: Uh, no.

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>> Cheerilee: Then what is that piece of paper
on the floor?

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>> Apple Bloom: I... had to blow my nose.

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>> Cheerilee: Oh. Well, use a tissue next
time. Go ahead then. Blow your nose so that

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00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,130
we can move on with our next lesson.

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>> Apple Bloom: Um, I don't have to anymore.
You startled the sneeze right out of me.

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>> Diamond Tiara: Meep meep. (Nice save, mud-pony.)

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>> Twist: ["Thmeep, thmeep, thmeep", etc.]
(And that's when I looked at them-)

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>> Apple Bloom: Yeah.

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>> Twist: (And I just giggled at them, you
know, like in the song.)

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>> Apple Bloom: What song?

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>> Twist: (Giggle at the Griefers! It's so
smart, and so practical to real life!)

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>> Apple Bloom: Did that work?

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>> Twist: (They dipped me in molasses anyway,
but I bet they sure felt silly!)

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>> Apple Bloom: Twist, this has been a long
time comin', and I need to tell ya – you

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are the worst pony. And maybe the dumbest.
I know we've had a great time over this past

27
00:02:02,779 --> 00:02:06,429
week. You know, since we started hangin' out.
But I just can't overlook the fact that I

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00:02:06,429 --> 00:02:10,160
honestly hate everything about you. I thought
if I tried likin' you, then you might turn

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00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,040
out like broccoli and cheese. But it turns
out you're worse than broccoli. So look, we

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just can't be friends anymore, even if that
means I have... no friends at all.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Hey. Looks like somebody
got a visit from the Depression Clown!

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00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:32,459
>> Apple Bloom: His brightly-colored pants
keep fallin' down, and nobody ever laughs.

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>> Rainbow Dash: What's the matter, kiddo?

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>> Apple Bloom: I just broke things off with
my only friend, and now I have no friends.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Oh, well, why'd you do that?

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>> Apple Bloom: My only friend was Twist.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Oh. I'm sorry.

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>> Apple Bloom: Now I'm gonna grow up to be
just like Twilight Sparkle!

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00:02:44,249 --> 00:02:47,730
>> Rainbow Dash: Oh, I wouldn't worry about
that. Twilight is just under a lot of stress

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because she's the queen's daughter. But deep
down, I think she's pretty cool.

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00:02:50,739 --> 00:02:52,310
>> Apple Bloom: She's the who's what now?

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00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:55,260
>> Rainbow Dash: Yup. Crowns are pretty expensive
though. I think they keep them in museums

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00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:58,930
most of the time, you know? Well, anyway,
you and I probably shouldn't be left alone

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00:02:58,930 --> 00:03:00,860
together or I'm bound to get in trouble with
someone.

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00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:01,309
>> Apple Bloom: Why's that?

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00:03:01,309 --> 00:03:04,180
>> Rainbow Dash: It's not that I don't like
kids or anything. In fact, I think that maybe

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00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:07,130
I like them a little too much. Also, I might
be allergic to morphine.

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00:03:07,130 --> 00:03:09,599
>> Apple Bloom: Should... Should I find a
police officer?

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00:03:09,599 --> 00:03:12,290
>> Rainbow Dash: Like, this one time, I was
supposed to be watching my cousin's kid, and

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her kid wanted to try eating ice cream for
dinner. And you know, I thought I never really

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00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:20,609
tried that before. Kids have good ideas sometimes.
But then I got all hyperactive and I did a

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00:03:20,609 --> 00:03:24,109
bunch of tricks to impress her, but then I
crashed and broke both my wings and all four

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legs, and she started throwing up because
she had too much ice cream. And when I woke

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up in the hospital, I wasn't allowed to watch
my cousin's kids anymore.

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>> Apple Bloom: Your cousin's daughter got
to eat ice cream for dinner?! That sounds

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fantastic!

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>> Rainbow Dash: It was great at the time.

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>> Apple Bloom: Well, I just had a great idea.
I've never had a grown-up friend before. Do

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00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,290
you wanna be my new friend?

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>> Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding? That sounds
awesome!

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>> Imagine them and blue, I do

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>> Keep up on your insurance bills, she'll
get you killed

63
00:03:53,069 --> 00:03:56,739
>> She'll take you sliding down the stairs,
a parent's fears

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00:03:56,739 --> 00:03:57,609
>> She's not good with children

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00:03:57,609 --> 00:03:58,790
>> She'll let you use the stove, if you could
know

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>> That she would be your sad demise and never
cries

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00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:00,689
>> She hasn't got such watchful eyes, it makes
me cry

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>> She's not good with children

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00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:08,859
>> I can't see this ending so well for you

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00:04:13,859 --> 00:04:20,519
>> For your young life

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>> You'll be lucky nobody dies and that's
true

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>> In your young life

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>> Rainbow Dash: Okay. So "when the first
party goes to hide, the second party known

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00:04:41,390 --> 00:04:45,840
as the 'seeker' begins counting to a number
prefer-ably a [mispronouncing] 'mull-tie-pull'

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00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:51,980
of ten". Hey, kid, what's a "mull-tie-pull"?
Ohhh! "Multiple"! Oh, okay! Oh, my gosh, am

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00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:54,180
I gonna have to do math?

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00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:56,300
>> Pinkie Pie: Hello! Pinkie knows a game
that you would enjoy! Yes.

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00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:57,560
>> Rainbow Dash: Oh, hey, Pinkie Pie.

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00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:58,890
>> Pinkie Pie: You want to make cupcakes?

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00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:01,380
>> Apple Bloom: Cupcakes?! Lady, you are speakin'
my language! See ya later, Rainbow Dash!

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00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:08,380
>> Apple Bloom: I am ready for those cupcakes!
Where are they at?

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00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:14,090
>> Pinkie Pie: First you have to make them.
And then you have to eat them.

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00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:15,870
>> Apple Bloom: Oh. Well, bakin' cupcakes
sounds fun.

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00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:20,740
>> Pinkie Pie: It is fun for me. But today
we are businessponies. We do not bake for

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00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:21,860
fun, but for purpose.

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00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:25,670
>> Apple Bloom: Are these gonna be for somepony?
Did I just get roped into manual labor?

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00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:28,210
>> Pinkie Pie: Yes. We are making contraband
cupcakes! Yes.

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00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:29,320
>> Apple Bloom: What's "contraband"?

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00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:34,210
>> Pinkie Pie: We will smuggle the cupcakes
across the border. In our tummies. It is practice

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00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:38,620
for when Pinkie goes to Canterlot, and that
is a secret. I trust you. Yes. What she cannot

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00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:42,750
trust is the food there! They will try to
assassinate Pinkie! Pinkie has enemies in

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high places.

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00:05:43,419 --> 00:05:46,840
>> Apple Bloom: So y'all intend to sneak food
into Canterlot by eatin' it before you go?

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00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,160
>> Pinkie Pie: No one will suspect!

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00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:53,670
>> Apple Bloom: Okay. Whatever I have to agree
with to get those cupcakes.

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00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:56,259
>> Pinkie Pie: [munching]

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00:05:56,259 --> 00:06:02,210
>> Apple Bloom: [munching] Pleah! These taste
terrible! Can't I try makin' some with the

98
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:02,400
cookbook?

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00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,220
>> Pinkie Pie: That is how they control you!

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00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:06,720
>> Twilight Sparkle: Hey, you guys haven't
seen a tiny, evil creature running around,

101
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,000
have you? I lost track of Taz. So you guys
should probably keep an eye out for ponies

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00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,100
that are speaking in tongues, spinning their
heads around, or vomiting pea soup. I'd tell

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00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:17,050
you to keep an eye out for weird behavior
too, but in this town...

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00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:17,560
>> Pinkie Pie: [laughing]

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00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,280
>> Twilight Sparkle: ...seems like kind of
a waste of time.

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00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,270
>> Apple Bloom: Twilight Sparkle! I heard
you used your political influence to get named

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00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:23,840
the prettiest pony in Ponyville.

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00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:24,860
>> Twilight Sparkle: You're Applejack's kid,
right?

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00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:27,660
>> Apple Bloom: Why don't you use your political
influence to help somepony?

110
00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:30,520
>> Twilight Sparkle: Well, why aren't you
smart enough to have your own political influence?

111
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,260
>> Apple Bloom: Nopony listens to a child.

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00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:35,360
>> Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm sure it would
help if you weren't so damn childish all the

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00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:35,490
time.

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00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:37,660
>> Apple Bloom: It's important to look out
for other ponies.

115
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:40,530
>> Twilight Sparkle: Kid, one of these days,
you're probably gonna go to college, and you're

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00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:45,080
gonna get a really soft major, and it's gonna
be a total waste of everyone's time and money,

117
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,670
but it's gonna make you feel really important.

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00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:50,250
>> Apple Bloom: Well, maybe I won't need the
sciences! Maybe your science can't explain

119
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:54,960
the reasons why I feel, and they can't explain
all the big things like what makes us angry

120
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,000
or in love or full of hate about somethin'!

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00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:58,889
>> Twilight Sparkle: Your amygdala.

122
00:06:58,889 --> 00:06:59,080
>> Apple Bloom: My what?

123
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,260
>> Twilight Sparkle: Your amygdala probably
regulates a storage of emotional memories,

124
00:07:01,260 --> 00:07:01,880
which is why—

125
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,540
>> Apple Bloom: What the heck is an amygdala?

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00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:06,980
>> Twilight Sparkle: Ohhhh, well, it sounds
like someone knows less about science than

127
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:11,240
science knows about her! Here's a little tip,
kid: you can never hope to defeat your enemies

128
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,630
without knowing how they think. And by the
time you know enough science to fight the

129
00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:16,690
scientific, it's already too late. You're
already a scientist!

130
00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:18,090
>> Apple Bloom: Well, at least I have morals!

131
00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:20,910
>> Twilight Sparkle: Well, at least I wasn't
born from consanguineous mating!

132
00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,020
>> Apple Bloom: What's "consanguineous"?

133
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:24,900
>> Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! Another one! Pinkie,
what's the score?

134
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:28,889
>> Pinkie Pie: It is two-to-zero! You are
winning your pretty little head right off!

135
00:07:28,889 --> 00:07:30,670
>> Twilight Sparkle: Alright, let's go again!
Whatcha got?

136
00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:33,280
>> Pinkie Pie: She does not have any friends.

137
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:37,040
>> Twilight Sparkle: No friends? Well, I just
can't get rid of mine! Another victory for

138
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,180
Twilight! Pinkie P! Put it on the board!

139
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:40,870
>> Pinkie Pie: 2.5 to zero! Yes!

140
00:07:40,870 --> 00:07:42,600
>> Twilight Sparkle: You can't do a half point.

141
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,530
>> Pinkie Pie: But they are composed of half
numbers!

142
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,890
>> Apple Bloom: Well, at least I'm not a stupid
jerk!

143
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:49,419
>> Twilight Sparkle: Oh, my God... I'm turning
into Celestia.

144
00:07:49,419 --> 00:07:51,370
>> Pinkie Pie: [chuckles] You made a child
cry.

145
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:55,100
>> Twilight Sparkle: Look, kid... I-I'm sure
you'll do great in college or wherever it

146
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:59,530
is that Earth ponies go. Just look out for
Taz and tell me if you meet any pony that

147
00:07:59,530 --> 00:08:01,300
looks like he's been possessed.

148
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:08,210
>> Apple Bloom: All your adult friends are
plumb crazy. What's wrong with them?

149
00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:12,060
>> Applejack: Adult friends are different,
darlin'. I can drink with Twilight, get help

150
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:15,170
with the weather from Rainbow Dash, and the
others just sort of tag along.

151
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,449
>> Apple Bloom: What about Pinkie Pie?

152
00:08:16,449 --> 00:08:18,189
>> Applejack: I cannot explain Pinkie Pie.

153
00:08:18,189 --> 00:08:21,610
>> Apple Bloom: Well, I got nothin' to do
for the rest of the day and nobody to play

154
00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:21,810
with.

155
00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:23,050
>> Applejack: Well, I'm your friend, sugarcube.

156
00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:24,730
>> Apple Bloom: You ain't nothin' but my sister.

157
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:28,190
>> Applejack: Y'all better watch it or I'll
turn that yellow hide tan. Y'all know how

158
00:08:28,190 --> 00:08:29,669
important family is to the Apples.

159
00:08:29,669 --> 00:08:31,490
>> Apple Bloom: I wanna marry who I wanna
marry!

160
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:34,820
>> Applejack: At least y'all get the option
now to marry, unlike some of us thanks to

161
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:36,000
a certain colt-cuddlin' stallion!

162
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,039
>> Apple Bloom: What's "colt-cuddlin'"?

163
00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:40,240
>> Applejack: Never you mind. Look, if you're
bored, you can always come out and help me

164
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:40,729
sell some apples.

165
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,260
>> Apple Bloom: I don't want to sell apples.

166
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,890
>> Applejack: I'll buy you some ice cream
afterwards.

167
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,870
>> Apple Bloom: Let's sell some friggin' apples!

168
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:49,200
>> Apple Bloom: Step right up, fillies and
gentlecolts! You buy yourself some apples

169
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,920
and you buy me some ice cream! Look at me!
I'm just so mindblowingly adorable! Don't

170
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:57,500
y'all want me to have some ice cream? Now
here's a fine lady bringin' happiness to a

171
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:01,010
child. Now I don't know the value of money,
so I'm gonna assume that's about a million

172
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:01,670
bits right there.

173
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:03,130
>> Bon Bon: Meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep!
(I'm not paying for that!)

174
00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:05,140
>> Apple Bloom: Are you tryin' to stand between
me and ice cream?

175
00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:08,400
>> Applejack: Darn it, sis. You can't just
force apples on ponies like it were a marriage

176
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,880
or somethin'. You gotta try to be persuasive
with the customers.

177
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:15,630
>> Apple Bloom: Okay. Persuasive. I can do
that. How would you like to buy me some ice

178
00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:16,000
cream?

179
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,089
>> Dr. Hooves: Sounds illegal.

180
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:20,700
>> Apple Bloom: Are you sure you don't wanna
buy me any ice cream? Because I am the perfect

181
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:23,860
height to reach your dangly bits, and I think
we both know what I'm implyin' here.

182
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:27,050
>> Dr. Hooves: Look, I'm really busy right
now, and I'm doing something really important.

183
00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:29,390
I have to save a kitty named Mr. Fluffles
from certain doom.

184
00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:31,290
>> Apple Bloom: Do not make me get persuasive
with you!

185
00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:33,210
>> Dr. Hooves: Stay back! I can travel through
time!

186
00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:37,250
>> Apple Bloom: Well, good. You're gonna need
that power because I am about to kick your

187
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,230
dick into last Thursday!

188
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:39,279
>> Dr. Hooves: I will cry!

189
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:43,570
>> Apple Bloom: Children have no empathy!
I don't even care! You give me some friggin'

190
00:09:43,570 --> 00:09:44,530
ice cream!

191
00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:49,580
>> Dr. Hooves: Okay! Just take the money and
leave me alone!

192
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,310
>> Applejack: Little lady, I dunno if I should
be disappointed or impressed with your behavior.

193
00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:54,000
One thing is for certain though: you're fired.

194
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:58,350
>> Apple Bloom: Wait! Y'all can't just expose
my nudity to the whole town! I'll call Child

195
00:09:58,350 --> 00:09:58,730
Services!

196
00:09:58,730 --> 00:09:59,649
>> Applejack: And now you're grounded.

197
00:09:59,649 --> 00:10:01,180
>> Apple Bloom: Friends can't ground each
other!

198
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,450
>> Applejack: You knew what this was.

199
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:04,670
>> Apple Bloom: But... But I don't deserve
groundin' on account of bein' emotionally

200
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,870
distraught because Twilight made fun of me
today!

201
00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:09,740
>> Applejack: She did what?! Well, I am gonna
strangle that Twilight, and you're grounded!

202
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:12,720
>> Apple Bloom: But I'm confused because Rainbow
Dash tried to teach me to fly from jumpin'

203
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:13,829
off a cliff with a hang glider!

204
00:10:13,829 --> 00:10:16,779
>> Applejack: Well, I am gonna strangle Rainbow
Dash and Twilight, and you're grounded!

205
00:10:16,779 --> 00:10:17,660
>> Apple Bloom: Well, Pinkie Pie—

206
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:20,370
>> Applejack: I am gonna strangle Pinkie,
Dash, Twilight, and you're grounded!

207
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:24,960
>> Apple Bloom: But if I'm grounded, then
I can't go to Tiara's cute-ceañera, and then

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I can't make no friends at all.

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>> Applejack: Alright, fine, you can go to
the cute-ceañera. But then you're grounded

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twice to make up for it.

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>> Apple Bloom: I-I was just kiddin'! I don't
wanna go!

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>> Applejack: Too late!

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00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:43,890
>> Apple Bloom: So how'd y'all get roped into
this here shindig? Are y'all friends with

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Tiara or Spoon?

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00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:45,750
>> Scootaloo: My parents don't know where
I am, baby.

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00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:46,450
>> Sweetie Belle: [in deep, foreboding voice]
I traveled here from between the cracks in

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the walls, from the dark places where only
dreams may go.

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00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:54,020
>> Apple Bloom: So you just wandered in? Do
you like colorin'?

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>> Scootaloo: Uh, that depends. Are you offering
to let me do a sketch of you?

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>> Sweetie Belle: I have seen such forbidden
colors.

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>> Apple Bloom: Well, that's good enough for
me! You guys are better than Twist at least.

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Let's be friends. My name's Apple Bloom.

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00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:08,030
>> Scootaloo: Oh, your name is really cute,
baby. Mine's – hoo! – Scootaloo.

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>> Sweetie Belle: I go by many names. Seaty
Belt, Sweaty Belt, Treaty Teats... But you

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may call me... Thrackerzod! I am a typical
pony.

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00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:21,720
>> Scootaloo: So since we're all friends now,
baby, do you guys wanna play a party game

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00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,850
like Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, or Seven
Minutes in Heaven?

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00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:30,880
>> Sweetie Belle: I think we should all band
together and kill Twilight Sparkle.

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00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,690
>> Apple Bloom: I like the cut of your jib.
But have you ever considered just convertin'

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her over to our way of thinkin'?

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00:11:35,249 --> 00:11:39,690
>> Sweetie Belle: Yes... Perhaps we should
convert her... into a murdered pony!

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00:11:39,690 --> 00:11:42,090
>> Scootaloo: Every time one of us does a
dare correctly, we could – hooah! – get

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a piece of candy.

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00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:48,550
>> Apple Bloom: Don't eat that or you'll have
to run laps across the border!

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>> Sweetie Belle: So tell Thrackerzod – as
a joke because she is a normal pony – what

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would normal ponies consume?

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00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:14,180
>> Scootaloo: I've got normal pony food at
home in my bedroom, baby. You guys wanna go?

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>> Apple Bloom: Don't y'all live in the clouds,
bein' a Pegasus and all?

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00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:42,610
>> Scootaloo: I thought you wanted to be friendly,
baby.

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00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:33,680
>> Apple Bloom: All 
I could be in 

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00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:16,600
your room is plummetin' to my death.

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00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:27,500
>> Sweetie Belle: I don't want to plummet
to my death. Do normal ponies do that? I don't

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00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:43,750
want to do that unless that's what normal
ponies do.

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>> Scootaloo: Can we go to your bedroom? Hoo!

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00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,790
>> Apple Bloom: Okay, sure! I'll show you
my dolls!

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00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:59,029
>> Sweetie Belle: I am blending in!