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>> Pinkie Pie: [blowing party favor] Dash!
I come demanding your unconditional surrender!

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00:00:23,810 --> 00:00:26,210
Come out now and–! Oh. Hello.

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00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:30,560
>> Rainbow Dash: Okay, I surrender. Hey. This
is Gilda.

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>> Gilda: Hey. What's up?

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>> Rainbow Dash: We were friends back when
we were in school.

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>> Pinkie Pie: You had friends?

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00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:43,039
>> Gilda: Yeesh. "Friends" doesn't even begin
to describe it. She and I were as close as

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friends can get. Yeah. Real close.

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>> Pinkie Pie: You are lesbians?

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>> Rainbow Dash: No way. I'm from Equestria.

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>> Gilda: Dash, I think she's asking if you're
gay.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Ohhhhh.

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>> Gilda: Dash, you are lucky that you're
cute.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Well, of course I'm gay.
I'm so colorful. It's hard not to be happy

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looking like this.

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>> Pinkie Pie: Ah, but now two are three.
Come!

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[honk]

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00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:09,520
>> Pinkie Pie: Don your disguises!

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>> Gilda: Uh, maybe we should save the disguises
until after I've snatched up that stupid red-haired

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kid with the lisp. Besides, I thought Dash
and I could fool around for a little while.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Okay. I guess I'm leaving
you now. I'll see you later, Pinkie Pie. Don't

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kill anyone.

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>> Pinkie Pie: Who, me? There will be consequences
for your actions.

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>> Rainbow Dash: I totally beat you.

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>> Gilda: Okay, what the hell, Dash?!

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>> Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on. What?

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>> Gilda: What do you mean "I'm from Equestria"?!

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>> Rainbow Dash: What's the big deal? I mean,
come on! It's not like Lesbia's even a real

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place! I mean, give me a break!

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>> Gilda: [speaking under] "Lesbia" isn't
a physical place! It's a thing in your heart,

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Dash! Listen to me!

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>> Pinkie Pie: I have come! Tremble! You thought
that you could get away from Pinkie Pie, didn't

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you? Well, no one escapes from Pinkie! Yes.
Especially not filthy griffons.

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>> Gilda: Great. Hey, Dash. Let's book it
before she starts quoting Stalin. Now, missy!

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>> Pinkie Pie: You think I have no plans for
you winged fools? A griffon has no cutie mark!

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She has no purpose in life! Yes.

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>> Gilda: Listen here, pink hair! Screw off!

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>> Pinkie Pie: [thinking] Oh, Pinkie Pie.
You have been disgraced by the griffon, and

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yet here you sit, unable to think of a way
to punish her for her crimes. Is it because

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she threatened to eat Twist and you want to
see that? [out loud] Huh? [thinking] Oh, my

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God, look out! Okay. It was nothing. That
one was a drill. Stay on your toes. Oh, hey.

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Look at that. It is Gilda. She has such pretty
feathers. [out loud] Uh, wait, no! I mean

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she is filthy! Look at her strutting around
with her razor-sharp claws. [thinking] She

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could peel you like a grape... Oh, my God!
She just stole that! She has no regard for

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our laws... [out loud] Hey! Shut up, voice
in my head! Whatever you say, she is the wrong

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species anyway! [thinking] Yes, but if it
is forbidden, then that is exciting. [out

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loud] No, no, this is silly. Brain, you cannot
be trusted.

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>> Fluttershy: Okay, stop following me. I
don't have any more bread.

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>> Pinkie Pie: [thinking] There is Fluttershy
being overtaken by ducks.

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>> Gilda: Watch out.

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>> Pinkie Pie: [thinking] And oh, what is
this? No, don't apologize!

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>> Gilda: I'm so sorry.

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00:03:04,439 --> 00:03:08,590
>> Pinkie Pie: [thinking] She is beneath everyone!
Look, she runs away anyway! She is the craziest

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pony in Ponyville!
[creepy music]

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>> Pinkie Pie: Pinkamena Pie, we must provide
Gilda with guidance. And we must separate

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her from Rainbow Dash. We must destroy her
very being beyond recognition. No! Yes. She

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is our way in. We will have to do things Pinkie
Pie-style. [sinister laughter]

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>> Pinkie Pie: Dash! Your number has been
drawn! Your time is up!

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>> Rainbow Dash: Screeeeeaaaaam! Whew. That
was close.

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>> Pinkie Pie: Yes.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Screeeeeaaaaam! I don't want
to be cupcakes! Oh, hey, Pinkie Pie. What

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00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,150
are you doing in Twilight's tree?

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00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:05,439
>> Pinkie Pie: Minding my own freaking business.
What are you doing? Aw, you think I will cut

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your wings off.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Screeeeeaaaaam!

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>> Pinkie Pie: What I have in mind is of more
importance.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Screeeee–! Never mind.

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>> Pinkie Pie: It is so cute the way you give
up on life. Yes.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Okay. What happens now?

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>> Pinkie Pie: Now we have a little fun. Hand
and shrimp.

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>> Rainbow Dash: Okay, you're the boss. I
guess I'll just "hand and shrimp" then.

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>> Pinkie Pie: Can you?! That would be perfect!

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>> Rainbow Dash: I don't even know what that's
supposed to mean!

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>> Pinkie Pie: Do not worry. All is as planned.
Now!

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[thunder]

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>> Spike: Aah!

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>> Pinkie Pie: [laughing]

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>> Spike: Well, that wasn't very funny, you
two. You know, you're both lucky that I'm

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in a good mood.

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00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:56,820
>> Pinkie Pie: [laughing]

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00:04:56,820 --> 00:05:01,080
>> Spike: [belch] Gee, I am really gonna wish
that hadn't been done. The worst thing about

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00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,260
having thumbs is that they can be broken.

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00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,560
>> Pinkie Pie: The misfortune of others is
fun! [laughing]

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00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:09,540
>> Rainbow Dash: Hey, yeah. You know, Gilda's
always telling me that.

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00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:14,130
>> Pinkie Pie: She does, does she? [twitch]
We should spread misfortune to other places.

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00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:15,140
That is my plan. Yes.

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00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,690
>> Rainbow Dash: Sounds like fun.

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00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,740
>> Pinkie Pie: We go!

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00:05:18,740 --> 00:05:21,580
>> Rainbow Dash: Oh, man. I don't know what's
going on.

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00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:26,420
>> Pinkie Pie: Quiet! I have put things in
the flowers.

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00:05:26,420 --> 00:05:27,330
>> Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]

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00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:29,160
>> Rainbow Dash: So what'd you put in there?

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00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,040
>> Pinkie Pie: Oh, just some stuff I found
in my medicine cabinet. Things I'm not taking

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00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,400
anymore because my doctor is a quack. Huh.
She quit moving. Weird.

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00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,870
>> Rainbow Dash: So for this one, we just
replaced her ink?

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00:05:39,870 --> 00:05:43,450
>> Pinkie Pie: Do you know how long it takes
to do wet chemistry? Hours! It is the worst

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00:05:43,450 --> 00:05:47,180
thing in the world! Basically, we wasted her
entire day.

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00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:47,590
[explosion]

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00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:49,650
>> Pinkie Pie: Hah! Day ruined.

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00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,360
>> Rainbow Dash: So for this one, we're gonna
squirt Fluttershy with that "aqua-rageous"

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00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,770
stuff you gave me.

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00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:58,190
>> Pinkie Pie: Aqua regia. And yes, that is
the evil that we are committing. [laughing]

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00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:02,280
Who knows what will happen to her? She could
even go blind!

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00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,320
>> Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]

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00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,639
>> Rainbow Dash: With laughter!

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00:06:05,639 --> 00:06:10,680
>> Pinkie Pie: What? [spits] No-no-no-no-no-no-no.
Look, the joke simply isn't funny anymore

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00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:15,190
if I have to explain it to you. Now I don't
even really want to do it anymore.

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00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:19,770
>> Rainbow Dash: Sigh. Okay. [groans] Man!
I think I really want to do my own pranks.

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00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:20,330
>> Pinkie Pie: [laughing]

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00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:22,440
>> Rainbow Dash: I want to make it sound like
someone is farting.

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00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:27,690
>> Pinkie Pie: So you like to do the pranking,
do you? [laughing] I think you should prank

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00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:28,030
Gilda!

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00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:32,020
>> Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah! She wouldn't see
it coming, would she? That couldn't go wrong

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00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,319
at all! [laughing]

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00:06:33,319 --> 00:06:35,620
>> Pinkie Pie: Dash.
[crack]

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00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:40,229
>> Rainbow Dash: [wailing in pain] Oh, my
God!

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00:06:40,229 --> 00:06:42,530
>> Pinkie Pie: Stop it.

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00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:45,790
>> Twilight Sparkle: The thing is, I don't
think I could make a love potion for you even

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00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:46,900
if I wanted to.

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00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:51,980
>> Pinkie Pie: Lies! Yes! You are holding
out on me because I am a filthy Earth pony

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00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:56,380
when it is you who is filthy! You who is filthy!
How can you not know any spells? It is all

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you are good for. For goodness' sake, I thought
maybe we were friends!

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00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:01,750
>> Twilight Sparkle: Only when one of us wants
something.

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00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:02,420
>> Pinkie Pie: [groans]

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00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,600
>> Twilight Sparkle: Besides, I hate you.
Understand?

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00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,110
>> Pinkie Pie: Never!

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00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:10,310
>> Spike: There's really no point in arguing,
Twilight. You won't win anything.

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00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:14,610
>> Twilight Sparkle: Win anything? Look, I
just want to be left alone, alright? I know

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00:07:14,610 --> 00:07:17,300
I'm supposed to be studying friendship and
all, but I'm basically smart enough to just

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00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,870
make those reports up. I know that you're
insane. I know that everyone in Ponyville

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00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:21,700
is pretty much deranged.

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00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:28,700
>> Pinkie Pie: I am not! I am in love! Yes!
I will throw a party. [???] place tonight!

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00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,930
[grumbles]
[door slams]

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00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:34,120
>> Twilight Sparkle: Great.

135
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:39,140
>> Pinkie Pie: [chuckles] Hello. I'm so glad
that your filthy feathered claws made it to

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00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:44,700
the party. Yes! Yes. But you should watch
out, because someone's out to get you! [laughing]

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00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:50,280
>> Rainbow Dash: Hey, Gilda. Pinkie Pie throws,
like, the best parties in Ponyville.

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00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:50,850
>> Pinkie Pie: [laughing]

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00:07:50,850 --> 00:07:51,580
>> Rainbow Dash: Tops.

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00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:52,560
>> Gilda: Oh, yeah? [chuckles]

141
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,600
>> Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah. You have a really
good time, Gilda.

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00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:59,139
>> Gilda: Alright. You too, Dash. [to Pinkie
Pie] Are you planning something insane?

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00:07:59,139 --> 00:08:00,900
>> Pinkie Pie: Yes.

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00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:04,730
>> Gilda: I don't even know why I asked.

145
00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:08,810
>> Pinkie Pie: [laughing] It is probably because
you are so beautiful and I will get you. Yes.

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00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:11,640
>> Gilda: Come again? What exactly are you
getting at?

147
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:17,180
>> Pinkie Pie: I am keeping my eyes on you.
[to other ponies] Everyone, everyone! Look

148
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:20,680
at Gilda! Just look how attractive she is!
She has nothing but disdain for all of us.

149
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:26,460
Oh, my God, I love her! Wait, cool it, Pinkie
Pie. You are blowing it. [to Gilda] Hey, come

150
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:27,530
eat these things.

151
00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:30,400
>> Gilda: Well, I couldn't find that red-headed
kid anywhere. [straining]

152
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,430
>> Pinkie Pie: [chuckles] Why don't you trust
me?

153
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,680
>> Rainbow Dash: Hey, wash it down with some
punch. [laughing]

154
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:41,719
>> Pinkie Pie: You have been betrayed by Rainbow
Dash. You should abandon her for a new friend.

155
00:08:41,719 --> 00:08:43,159
Named Pinkie.

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00:08:43,159 --> 00:08:47,460
>> Gilda: Guys. That was not cool.

157
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:53,199
>> Rainbow Dash: Look over here, Gilda. Presents.
[laughing]

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00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:53,919
[pop]

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00:08:53,919 --> 00:08:56,819
>> Gilda: Greeeaaat. This'll take hours of
preening.

160
00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:57,920
>> Pinkie Pie: Ooh.

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00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,180
>> Applejack: Hey, everyone, we should play
"Pin the Tail"!

162
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:03,779
>> Rarity: Oh, you know, I love that game.
I play a variant of that with the bachelor

163
00:09:03,779 --> 00:09:04,069
herd.

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00:09:04,069 --> 00:09:07,619
>> Pinkie Pie: [chuckles] Rarity, you are
a slut. Spike, blindfold Gilda.

165
00:09:07,619 --> 00:09:10,799
>> Gilda: Hey! Personal space! [yelps]
[crash]

166
00:09:10,799 --> 00:09:17,160
>> Rarity: Goodness, if I had a dime for every
time that's happened to me, I wouldn't even

167
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:24,160
>> Gilda: [screams] What is wrong with all
of you stupid farm animals?!? Is my pain funny

168
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:37,519
to you, you pastel grass chewers?! And the
most deranged one of you is balloon butt here!

169
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,490
You are the pinkest, most pink pony at this
entire party!

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00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:42,540
>> Pinkie Pie: She's looking right at me!

171
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,949
>> Gilda: Come on, Rainbow. Let's get out
of here. I'm tired of hanging out with the

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00:09:44,949 --> 00:09:47,370
food. Besides, they all got a couple screws
loose. Come on, missy. We are leaving!

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00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:51,720
>> Rainbow Dash: No way, Gilda. If you don't
like being laughed at by your friends at your

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00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,359
expense, then I guess that makes you a dick.

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00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:53,660
>> Pinkie Pie: Ooh...

176
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,429
>> Rainbow Dash: And I won't have anything
to do with dicks.

177
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,050
>> Rarity: They'd be fine if you tried them!

178
00:09:57,050 --> 00:09:58,040
>> Gilda: Come on, you're acting like a—

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00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,410
>> Rainbow Dash: I can see now that you'll
never be comfortable with normal pony social

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00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:01,779
interactions.

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00:10:01,779 --> 00:10:05,810
>> Pinkie Pie: It is such a shame. The pony
philosophy of friendship is pretty much the

182
00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:10,499
only way that anyone should ever need to follow,
unless we are upset or rejected. But Gilda,

183
00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:14,380
I am willing to teach you. After all, you
need a new companion now named Pinkie.

184
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:18,999
>> Rainbow Dash: No, I think that you're really
just plainly beyond hope at this point. I

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00:10:18,999 --> 00:10:22,930
mean, after all, I've noticed you eating an
awful lot of foals since you started visiting.

186
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:25,040
And I'm pretty sure that that might be illegal.

187
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:30,610
>> Gilda: I see how it is! You want to be
the top! And now you want to make me wear

188
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:32,180
the saddle! Well, forget you then! Goodbye,
Dashie.

189
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:39,180
>> Pinkie Pie: Hooray! My plan almost nearly
worked halfway! [laughing]