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>> Applejack: I tell you what, I cannot believe
what a great deal I got on all that apple

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00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:29,590
liquor. Well, you know, I probably would share
some of it with ya, but y'all know that you

3
00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:32,259
just got kidney surgery, chump. Oops.

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00:00:32,259 --> 00:00:36,600
>> Big McIntosh: Applejack, you know how you
get when you've had too much to drink.

5
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,410
>> Applejack: Well, I'm an adult, and I can
put forks in the toaster in the bathtub!

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00:00:40,410 --> 00:00:41,910
>> Big McIntosh: Eeyup.

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00:00:41,910 --> 00:00:43,300
>> Applejack: I do what I want!

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00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:47,690
>> Big McIntosh: Okay, I'm not stoppin' ya.
I'm just sayin' is all.

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00:00:47,690 --> 00:00:51,180
>> Applejack: Shut up! I will drink all that
liquor!

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00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:57,559
>> Twilight Sparkle: Okay. So today, you will
all... Arggghhh!

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00:00:57,559 --> 00:01:04,559
>> Mayor Mare: Ahem. Helloooo. Today we're
going to be giving out awards. This one goes

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00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:10,899
to Biggest Trophy Owner. Whoever gets it gets
it! And guess what? It looks like this one

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00:01:10,899 --> 00:01:12,060
goes to Applejack.

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00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:18,189
>> Applejack: [slurring] Hang on. I'm a-comin'.
[ponies grumbling]

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>> Applejack: [slurring] Thousand miles an
hour. Hey, Mayor. Howdy. Space monkeys sure

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is got that bass drum. Yeah. Hey, thanks,
all, for this thing here. Why, it sure makes

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my face big. Hoo-ooo.

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>> Pinkie Pie: You are totally drunk. Yes.

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>> Applejack: Ooo-ooo.

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>> Twilight Sparkle: Oooookay. Well, I think
it's time for you to get off the stage.

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>> Pinkie Pie: I say let her stay!

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>> Twilight Sparkle: No.

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>> Applejack: Alright then.
[trophy scraping across floor]

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>> Applejack: I can't feel my nose. Whoa!
Aren't y'all worried about teleportin' inside

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somepony? Guess not.

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>> Twilight Sparkle: No.

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>> Applejack: [slurring] Okay, so what can
I do for ya for?

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00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:08,509
>> Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, are you holding
out booze?

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>> Applejack: Kind of, but no scotch or whiskey
for you or anything. [grunts] Missed. Aah!

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>> Twilight Sparkle: Okay, give it up.

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>> Applejack: What? No way, no how!

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>> Twilight Sparkle: Why the hell not? I thought
we were friends.

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>> Applejack: Well, I swore I'd drink all
that liquor!

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>> Twilight Sparkle: Uh... what?

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>> Applejack: Yup. And now y'all's tryin'
to make a liar out of me. The nerve of you,

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Twilight!

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>> Mrs. Cake: I dunno. Are you sure that we
can trust you and your drunk friend here alone

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in the shop?

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>> Pinkie Pie: Yes, I am trustworthy! You
can leave me alone in the shop, for I will

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do nothing wrong! It is absolutely unlikely
that we would make all the cupcakes poison.

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Yes.

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>> Mr. Cake: Sounds like an endorsement.

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>> Mrs. Cake: Okay. Just try not to burn the
place down while we're out.

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>> Pinkie Pie: "Okay. Just try not to burn–"
Come! We must make the cupcakes!

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>> Pinkie Pie: Okay, the first thing that
we need are some crappy, generic potato chips.

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>> Applejack: Huh? Potato chips?

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>> Pinkie Pie: [in slow, deep voice] Yes.
[laughing]

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>> Applejack: Whoa. Alright. So let's see
what we got. Crappy potato chips. You're the

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boss.

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>> Pinkie Pie: I am the boss! [laughing] [in
slow, deep voice] Now the poisons!

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>> Applejack: Y– What? Well, that must be
cookin' slang for somethin'. This here that

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says rat poison?

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00:03:27,129 --> 00:03:32,540
>> Pinkie Pie: I keep it in the fridge so
the rats do not catch on. Now lemons.

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>> Applejack: You're kiddin'. Y'all must mean
lemon's juice.

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>> Pinkie Pie: No, you are ruining my recipe!
Still, I like where you're going.

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>> Applejack: I'm a mite sick. [belch]

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>> Pinkie Pie: [in slow, deep voice] Throw
up in the bowl! [laughing normally]

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[beat]

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>> Applejack: R-Really?

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>> Pinkie Pie: Now go and get some filthy
worms to feed to the filthy worms!

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[beat]

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>> Applejack: Ohhh! Y'all are makin' some
kind of organic dish.

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00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:08,819
>> Pinkie Pie: You're organic. Yes! Put them
in the bowl! And then we add just a few more

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00:04:08,819 --> 00:04:13,629
things, and we kill all the worms with cooking.

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>> Pinkie Pie: I have ruined the baking trays!

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>> Ponies: ["Meep, meep, meep", etc.]

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>> Applejack: Hey. It's organic, y'all. So
it's probably good for ya.

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>> Twilight Sparkle: So what exactly happened
to everyone?

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00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:34,220
>> Nurse Redheart: Oh, it appears that they've
all been poisoned somehow. Also, they're all

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bleeding out internally.

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>> Ponies: [Sickly "meep, meep, meep", etc.]

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>> Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Was Pinkie involved?

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>> Pinkie Pie: Oh, my God. I cooked that worm.
He's a Highlander. I ate the poisons to avoid

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suspicion. [throwing up]

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>> Spike: Well, they're alright.

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>> Applejack: [grunts]

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>> Twilight Sparkle: So, hey. How's it hanging?

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>> Applejack: Huh! Oh. Hey, what are you doin'?

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00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:04,810
>> Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, you have to
admit that you've reached rock bottom.

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00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:07,399
>> Applejack: No, I don't. [grunts]

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00:05:07,399 --> 00:05:12,120
>> Twilight Sparkle: Look, when you're helping
Pinkie Pie kill the whole town with cupcakes,

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that's rock bottom.

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00:05:12,740 --> 00:05:14,850
>> Applejack: Shut up, Twilight! Shut up.

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00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:17,310
>> Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, give me your
booze.

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00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:21,530
>> Applejack: Shut up! All it ever is is "dirty
Earth pony" this, "filthy Earth pony" that.

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00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,990
Well, I'm keepin' my booze, and I can do whatever
I want with it!

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00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:28,069
>> Fluttershy: So how's your day been?

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00:05:28,069 --> 00:05:30,300
>> Applejack: I friggin' hate Twilight.

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00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:36,009
>> Fluttershy: Well, see, we all hate Twilight
sometimes. She ignores me an awful lot. You

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00:05:36,009 --> 00:05:36,949
want to talk behind her back?

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00:05:36,949 --> 00:05:37,770
>> Applejack: She's fat. What are we doin'
out here anyway?

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00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:42,699
>> Fluttershy: Well, I want you to round up
all the bunnies so I can hug their cute little

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00:05:42,699 --> 00:05:45,130
heads off. That's something that an Earth
pony can do, right?

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00:05:45,130 --> 00:05:49,930
>> Applejack: Oh, that's right. The rabbits.
Well, I guess my dog has gotta eat somethin'.

95
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:52,500
Isn't that right, goddamn it?

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00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,530
>> Winona: [barks]

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00:05:53,530 --> 00:05:59,939
>> Applejack: Prepare to be eaten alive, you
worthless rodents! Run! Run, damn it!

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00:05:59,939 --> 00:06:01,599
>> Fluttershy: Applejack. Applejack.

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00:06:01,599 --> 00:06:04,119
>> Applejack: Only the strong survive!

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00:06:04,119 --> 00:06:07,449
>> Fluttershy: Applejack, stop! Stop ignoring
me!

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00:06:07,449 --> 00:06:10,710
>> Applejack: Whatever, sugarplum! I think
that's great!

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00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:12,730
>> Winona: [barks]

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00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:15,760
>> Twilight Sparkle: [groans]

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00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,789
>> Rose: That bitch! Fluttershy!

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00:06:17,789 --> 00:06:19,300
>> Lily Valley: She ruined everything!

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00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:20,770
>> Daisy: Meep. (Celestia roast her innards!)

107
00:06:20,770 --> 00:06:23,889
>> Lily Valley: She's responsible for everything
that's wrong with this town!

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00:06:23,889 --> 00:06:25,440
>> Twilight Sparkle: Not Pinkie Pie?

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00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,690
>> Lily Valley: My whole life is wrecked!

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00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,449
>> Rose: My beautiful begonias!

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00:06:29,449 --> 00:06:32,650
>> Daisy: Meep. Meep. Meep. (She is a heathen
and a detriment to society! Behold, there

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00:06:32,650 --> 00:06:34,039
she is tending to her loathsome vermin ilk,
perpetrating the foul deed!)

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00:06:34,039 --> 00:06:37,270
>> Fluttershy: Can someone please help me
out over here? I can't take care of this by

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00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:39,479
myself. Applejack ran off for another drink.

115
00:06:39,479 --> 00:06:43,340
>> Twilight Sparkle: Again? Enough is enough!

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>> Twilight Sparkle: You're a plague. It's
okay, I've been there. But there comes a point

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when it's just time to hand the liquor over
to Twilight.

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00:06:54,340 --> 00:07:00,810
>> Applejack: But a shot a day keeps the doctor
away, and I'm savin', like, six or seven doctor

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00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:01,100
visits.

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00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,610
>> Twilight Sparkle: I think you got that
saying wrong.

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00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:05,160
>> Applejack: Alright, Twilight.

122
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:12,160
>> Twilight Sparkle: I hope you understand
the difference between a need and a want.

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00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,729
>> Applejack: I really do. But please, just
one more bottle.

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00:07:14,729 --> 00:07:18,790
>> Twilight Sparkle: Okay. One more, and we'll
drink it together.

125
00:07:18,790 --> 00:07:21,690
>> Rainbow Dash: Sigh. Oh, my God!

126
00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:27,069
>> Applejack: [groans] Sorry about bein' late
there, buttercup. I had some stuff to finish

127
00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:30,849
up with with Twilight. Me and her been in
a bit of a tiff lately, and I just had some

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00:07:30,849 --> 00:07:33,730
things to take care of. So how can I help
ya, sugarplum?

129
00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:35,080
>> Rainbow Dash: Well, how'd you kill her?

130
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,740
>> Applejack: What do you mean how did I kill
Twilight?

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00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:42,539
>> Rainbow Dash: Never mind. Look over there.
So that thing. I built it. With my hooves

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00:07:42,539 --> 00:07:47,590
and my mouth. And me – I'm gonna stand on
it. And then you – you're gonna jump on

133
00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:52,099
it on the other side. And if my calculations
are correct, I should fly away from it and

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00:07:52,099 --> 00:07:56,610
not into the tower. And then, I'm gonna do
a couple loops and then a big loop. After

135
00:07:56,610 --> 00:08:01,060
that, I'll probably panic. At that point,
I'll need you to go and run for help. So it's

136
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:04,569
a pretty planned out plan. What do you think?

137
00:08:04,569 --> 00:08:06,219
>> Applejack: Uhhh, what?

138
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:12,569
>> Rainbow Dash: Well, don't worry about it.
Just climb the thing already!

139
00:08:12,569 --> 00:08:19,569
>> Applejack: Okay. I'm just drunk enough
for this.

140
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:16,160
>> Rainbow Dash: Okay, jump! Jump! Jump!

141
00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:33,410
>> Applejack: Okay! Yeah!
[crack]