You said it, Big Mac.
This is taking forever!
I know it's wrong to cut corners when it comes to gifts from the heart, but…
this is an emergency, right?
Yep.
Discord! A little help, Discord!
Good idea.
Captain Wuzz!
Are you prepared to enter the world of "Ogres and Oubliettes"?
Huzzah! Fellow adventurers.
Shall we storm the ramparts of Squizard's Castle
to reclaim Calico's ring of imperceptibility?
You did summon me for a rousing "Guys' Night" of "Ogres and Oubliettes",
did you not?
Sort of, but…
Do you think you could magically hurry up this pie real quick first?
You seem to be mixing up The Lord of Chaos
with a second-rate clown magician for hire.
Wait!
This needs to go on the mail today or it'll never get to Sugar Belle in time for Hearts and Hooves Day.
Please.
Can't you see that that holiday is a commercialized ruse?
Pushed on you by the greeting card industry.
Fine, you owe me for this.
Keep your eye on the pie.
It's magic time!
This smells…
palatable.
Well…
Pies really are Sugar Bell's thing,
but I think that makes this all the more special.
It shows you're interested in what she cares about.
Yep.
And he's planning a big romantic Hearts and Hooves dinner.
It was my idea to bake the invitation inside.
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sugar Belle.
Meet me in my barn at sunset
for a surprise.
Pretty clever, huh?
Yep.
Sugar, bell… See?
Well, you two certainly have bought into this romance nonsense,
hook, line and sinker!
For a formerly friendless immortal despot
you're pretty cynical.
I'm a realist
and love, like all things warm and fuzzy,
isn't real.
Come on, you act tough,
but deep down you're a softy.
I mean you don't have tea with Fluttershy every weekend because you like tea.
But I do like tea, every tea, all the teas.
Chamomile, Earl Grey, green, white, yellow, mate lemon,
ginger, chai, spearmint, peppermint, hibiscus…
cinnamon pumpkin spice.
Tell you what.
While Big Mac nails his incredibly romantic gesture,
I'll show you the splendors of Hearts and Hooves Day in Ponyville.
I bet I can prove you believe in love.
Fine.
Call it a gentleman's wager:
loser mows my lawn for eternity.
Is it like a riding mower, or…?
Tweezers!
Hear ye, hear ye!
This special Hearts and Hooves Day meeting of the Cutie Mark Crusaders is now in session!
First order business,
helping my big brother decorate the barn for his big day with Sugar Belle tonight and…
Hello?
It seems like everypony's got somepony special but us.
What's it gonna be our turn?
Who's it from?
Can't tell.
It's all smudged but…
it looks like it's addressed to…
Bell?
Sweetie Belle!
Somepony certainly went through a lot of trouble…
For me!
On Hearts and Hooves Day!
You don't think…?
Could it be…?
Hang on a minute.
Mysterious package, smudged address,
no idea who it's from.
I know what this is.
You got a secret admirer!
Another Hearts and Hooves Day.
Love is in the air, Discord.
Look at all these happy couples.
How can they be happy if they aren't playing "Ogres and Oubliettes"?
As a great dragon poet once wrote to his beloved,
"I love you with the utmost clarity.
I love you, dear.
My sweet, sweet Rari…"
Are you even listening?!
Of course, love is something, something and
Discord is great!
I don't know.
Can we play O&O now?
Sure. After you admit you believe in love and…
Sugar Belle!
Big Mac's girlfriend!
What's she doing in town so early?
Well, Sugar Belle, I'm sure Big Mac won't be expecting it.
She's planning her own romantic surprise for Big Mac?
What if she goes to Sweet Apple Acres before Big Mac's ready with his surprise?!
We've gotta warn him.
Mig Bac!
I mean, Big Mac.
We just saw Sugar Belle!
She's at Sugarcube Corner, but I think she's on her way over here! Now!
You gotta keep her away from here until the barn's finished.
Yep!
I wonder what she has planned for him?
We don't have to wonder.
Will you warn me next time you do that?
Just be honest with him. I'm sure, Big Mac…
Oh, she hasn't seen him yet.
Take note, Discord, this is what love is all about.
Spike: "Love is about spying in the bushes."
Make fun of me all you want,
but look at Big Mac's face and tell me you don't believe in love.
I hope he'll be okay without me.
Oh, hey.
We're just… not spying.
Hush!
I mean… he has been on his own before,
so he'll be fine, right?
How should I tell Big Mac tonight?
"You won't need to come visit me in my village anymore"?
"We need to talk."
Just be honest with him.
You're right, okay,
"We are finished."
You're right. She did surprise him.
Okay, things seem bad. Maybe they're really not.
Maybe "we're finished" was about the day.
The ponies say that, right? Like… like…
Hey, remember yesterday — that's finished. 'Cause it's today.
Maybe not that. Oh! I know!
Maybe Sugar Belle has a wacky cousin who's never been on his own
and she has to leave him in charge of his shop while she apprentices with Mrs. Cake.
Who does that like two days a week?
No, no, three.
That's why she won't need you to come to her village anymore.
Because sh… she'll already be here.
Meh.
I don't even buy that one.
She takes pie baking seriously!
Why did I even try? I bet she thought, I… I was making fun of her.
Oh, I hate seeing you like this, Big Mac, and over a girl no less.
I'm calling an emergency "Guys' Night" right now to cheer you up.
Besides,
we can't have you ruining anymore of my thousand-year-old monogrammed handkerchiefs.
These are silk, you know.
Class is now in session.
Lesson one: nothing can break your heart if you only love yourself.
You've got to show everypony that you're too cool to be bothered with so-called love.
Observe.
This is how cool guys lean against things.
When you see a guy leaning against a thing looking this cool,
you think "Wow, that guy doesn't have a care in Equestria,
not a guy who leans on things that cool."
I don't think leaning's gonna help.
Am I doing it right?
We're not like you, Discord.
We can't put on a front and pretend not to love — it's impossible!
Lesson two.
Plenty of ponies in the pasture, right, Big Mac?
I know just the gal to make you forget all about Sugar Belle.
You… Said… Her… na-ame.
Oy-vey
Okay.
We finished decorating the barn for Big Mac,
which means we got the rest of the day to ourselves.
There's a whole town of possible admirers out there and only three of us.
But together we're gonna get to the bottom of this.
Ready?
Pree!
Excuse me, Pipsqueak, might answer a few questions?
No?
Late for something?
Are you Sweetie Belle secret admirer?!
Excuse me!
I'm doing a research survey about sending pie on the mail anonymously.
Would you say you're pro that or anti that?
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day,
did you boys happen to send any packages to me recently?
It's okay to say "no", I won't be offended.
Please say "no", please say "no", please say "no".
Sir McBiggun, meet Skelenor.
She's a level 18 bone warrior in Squizard's mage army,
but only to pay off skeleton student loan debts.
Get to know each other.
Why don't you?
Wow!
You're really going all out to cheer Big Mac.
I'm impressed.
Yes, yes, I'm amazing.
Anyway, since we're in the neighborhood,
care for a quick game of "Ogres and Oubliettes"?
Like I've been wanting to play all week!
I take it back.
I'm helping our friend first and foremost.
See for yourself.
I think he's showing her a picture of Sugar Belle.
What?
And now he's crying.
No-no-no-no-no-no-no.
No, he's not, let me see that!
Don't touch it, I'm looking!
Give me that!
Cut it out, Discord, quit it!
She used to do this thing where her nose would wrinkle when she laughed.
Right there, in that hole where your nose used to be.
I never told her how much I loved wrinkle-nose cutey face.
And now I never will!
Okay.
I think we've had enough of the aloof Master of Chaos remedies for a broken heart.
You know what I do when I have a problem too big to solve?
I hide from it!
When she can't find you she'll realize how much she misses you.
Plus, if she can't find you, she can't break up with you.
Yep!
I don't get it!
We have asked every stallion in Ponyville.
There's gotta be somepony we're missing.
Somepony obvious, somepony right in front of our noses.
Oh, well,
at least the barn's looking great for Big Mac's date.
Too bad there won't be a date.
Sugar Belle is so lucky to have a non-secret admirer like Big Mac.
Well, she certainly doesn't seem to have appreciated it.
I bet she's gonna take one look at this barn and say:
"What did I ever do to deserve this?"
Yes, what did she do to deserve this?
She broke my heart!
Well, not yet.
Technically.
In fact, she can't break your heart if you break hers first.
Yep!
Thanks for the tour of Ponyville, Mrs. Cake.
Oh, my pleasure.
I'm up to surprise Big Mac with the news.
Imagine the look on his face when I tell him:
"We need to talk."
Oh, dear me, no, I told you
don't say it that way, or he'll think you're breaking up with him.
Break up with him? Never!
Why, without my favorite delivery pony, couldn't imagine being happy ever again!
He knows that.
Good, save your mix up for cake butter — that's what I always say.
He's a good listener that pony.
I promise you — no mix-ups.
Oh, Big Mac.
Sugar Belle,
we need to talk.
I know why you're here.
You do?
But I have something to tell you first.
Oh, can I go first? I'm gonna be…
Stop!
Why don't we tell each other on three. One…
It's over.
What's over?
You and me,
it's over.
What?
We're breaking up.
I…
don't understand.
Why are you breaking up with me?
And why are you leaving like that?
I…
don't know!
Big Mac, please talk to me.
I… you…
This is why I don't like talking.
Words can hurt!
Words hurt!
Goodbye, Sugar Belle.
Big Mac.
Oh, thank goodness,
you've gotta help us with this.
Dude, how long have you been not hiding?
Oh, I should probably have said something.
You all should go.
Did you…?
Did she…?
Are you…?
Big Mac, what's going on?
Where's Sugar Belle?
Just go.
But we worked so hard on this chart.
I think we've almost cracked it, if you could just…
Not right now!
But I can't stand having a secret admirer who's too scared to tell me who he is.
Maybe he doesn't like talking!
But that doesn't make any sense!
Maybe you used to talk too much and it only ever got him into trouble?
What if you're right, Discord?
What if love isn't real at all?
I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle, I'm just mad, and I'm taking it out on you.
That's okay, I bet it felt good to get it out though.
Actually, it did.
Telling you how I felt just then.
I gotta go!
Big Mac! Where are you going?
I gotta talk to Sugar Belle!
Discord, you gotta use your magic and…
Guess you have better things to do.
Big Mac's gonna need a miracle.
All the rotten luck.
Caught you, just in time.
We both know I don't like to say much, but I'm gonna say something now.
Even though I'm hurten,
I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything,
because it'd mean giving up the good times we had too.
I only broke up with you because…
you were gonna break up with me.
I respect your decision.
You should know:
you'll always be in my heart.
I didn't want to break up with you.
But…
You said you don't need me to visit anymore.
You said I'm gonna be on my own.
I, I heard you said "we're finished" when I was hiding in the bushes.
That sounds worse than it is.
Oh Big Mac, I was talking about my cousin.
I have this wacky cousin who's never been on his own,
but I have to let him run my shop on weekends.
Which is why you won't be delivering to my village anymore.
Because I'll already be here apprenticing in with Mrs. Cake
who does that two days a week…
No, three.
Wait till I tell Spike.
I'd never break up with you.
I suppose there's a lesson here somewhere about communication,
talking instead of assuming or
eavesdropping is wrong.
Wouldn't you say?
Y-yep!
Wrinkle-nose cutey face.
You must have been awful confused at my breaking up with you after you got my pie.
What pie?
You didn't get the pie I sent?
Or the invitation?
Well, in that case…
Allow me to escort you to a Hearts and Hooves Day surprise.
Mind if we join you?
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sugar Belle, meet me…
Sugar Belle!
You have got to be pulling our hooves!
It was all a mix-up?
Oh, it's funny.
I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself for not having a special pony on Hearts and Hooves Day.
But…
remembering all the fun we had…
I think I have two special ponies.
My two best friends.
And so ends another Hearts and Hooves Day.
Despite a bumpy start.
And middle. And ending. Lotta bumps today.
Love was in the air.
So was confusion, apparently.
And a fair number of assumptions.
But you have to admit, after seeing everything Big Mac went through,
love is 100% real.
Seriously?
Discord, come on, I can't believe you.
Who do you think broke Sugar Bell's wagon wheel?
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!
You old softy.
I knew you had a heart.
Speaking of how great I am, are you busy for the rest of the night?
Calico's ring of imperceptibility isn't going to reclaim itself, you know.
"Ogres and Oubliettes"? I thought you'd never ask!
And… just wondering… no biggie… but…
is Scelenora gonna be there?
Spike, she's an imaginary one-dimensional paper cut out skeleton.
Well… Nopony's perfect.
anon2anon sunnysubs.com