♪
(splashing)
Apple Bloom: Just one more time. Please!
All right, but this is the last one.
Whoo hoo!
Wheeeee!
(splash)
(shouts and choking)
Oh dear me!
Sure wish you'd come swimmin' with us, Granny.
Sorry, dear, but I just can't bring myself anywhere
near that there swimmin' hole.
How come?
Well, I wasn't always this way.
(film clicking)
Time was, I was an aqua-pony all star.
In fact, I was the only Apple to ever come close
to breaking the Equestria high diving record.
Falling six stories into a deep-dish pie pan
takes a toll on the hindquarters.
Oh, I was so sore, it took years
before I could even look at the water again.
Just the idea of swimming makes my whole body ache.
Besides, these old legs can't even paddle fast enough
to stay afloat.
(losing balance shouts)
Boy, I sure would hate to be afraid of swimming.
Do you think I'll ever be scared of the water?
♪ (Jaws theme)
Aaah!
Nnope.
(laughter)
Subtitles by YayPonies http://yayponies.eu HoH version
♪ (banjo)
Apple Bloom: Wow, Granny.
I can't believe you were a high diver.
The best one in Ponyville.
Do you think I could be a high diver?
Nnope.
Absolutely not!
But...
Now you hold your horse feathers, little seed.
I never said being a high diver was a smart decision.
It's incredibly dangerous.
I know, but--
But nothin'!
It is the riskiest, scariest, darned fool thing I ever did do.
That's not to say I don't wish I was still young and spry
and confident, but let's leave the flying
through the air to the pegasi.
Wow, when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so fun.
(crowd chattering)
Wow. I wonder where everypony's heading.
Now, where in Ponyville do you two think you're going?
Oh, quit being such a worry worm and follow your ears.
Come on, Applejack.
Aren't you curious?
♪ (Carnival music)
♪ (louder)
♪ (music ends)
(excited chatter)
Shhh!
(lights click on)
(squeaking)
(poof poof)
Thank you one and all for your attendance and we guarantee that
your time here will not be spent in vain.
In fact, we think it will prove to be the most valuable time
you've ever spent.
The Flim Flam Brothers!
This should be interesting. Eeyup
Welcome one and all to the demonstration of a lifetime.
A demonstration of a better life.
A demonstration of a better time.
And if we haven't captured your interest just yet,
by the time we finish an unfortunate phenomenon
practically guarantees that we will.
A phenomenon? What's that?
It's a circumstance perceptible by the senses,
but in this case it's the simple fact that...
♪ There's ailments all around us, ♪
♪ in everything we touch and see. ♪
♪ The sickness that lies waiting there, ♪
♪ in every breath you breathe.
♪ Disease will up and grab you as it crawls from land and sea ♪
♪ It's amazing how infected that the natural world ♪
♪ and all its things can be.
Now I understand that some of you don't think you're sick
but twisted hooves and aching joints
don't heal all that quick.
Consider just how dangerous this world is, you might-
♪ Slip and fall, break or sprain something here tonight ♪
♪ But luckily for you we've got the thing you need. ♪
♪ And it's easier when all you need's the cure ♪
♪ The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic ♪
♪ Is just what the doctor ordered, I'm sure. ♪
Now I know our claims seem fantastical...
impractical,
improbable,
impossible...
And magical!
So we welcome every suffering pony
to make their way up to the stage.
Now don't crowd.
And we'll prove our tonic's effectiveness
before your very eyes!
You there! Come up here, good sir.
I'll wager you're tired of those crutches, my friend.
Try taking a sip of this!
(astonished gasps)
♪ That's why you're so lucky!
♪ We've got the thing for you
♪ Just come on up, we've always got some more! ♪
♪ of the Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic ♪
♪ I won't need these crutches to dance out the door! ♪
Now, how do you like that?
I don't.
There's something funny about this whole thing.
♪ Now some of you may suffer from feelings of despair ♪
♪ You're old, you're tired, your legs won't work ♪
♪ There's greying in your hair
♪ Just listen; I'll tell you that you don't need to fear ♪
♪ Your ears will work, your muscles tone ♪
♪ Your eyes will see so clear!
♪ Luckily for us you've got the thing we need! ♪
♪ The answer to our problems in a jar ♪
♪ The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic ♪
♪ It's the greatest ever miracle by far! ♪
It cures the Reins, the spurs and clydesdale fur blight
Hooferia and horsyntary, cured in just a night!
You've got swollen hooves and hindquarters
or terrible bridle bit cleft.
Saunter sits and gallop plop,
or give your tail some heft.
Mane loss, Hay Fever, or terrible tonsillitis.
You heard it here folks, this is the only place in all of
Equestria you'll find it.
♪ It can make you short or tall or even grow old. ♪
♪ But who'd want that? When with one drink, ♪
♪ you can be young again...
SOLD!
Congratulations, Granny Smith.
You've just made the purchase of a lifetime!
Are you as worried as I am?
Eeyup.
(splash)
Ah! I just can't believe all the things
that Flim Flam tonic can do.
When somepony says something's too good to be true,
it usually is.
You mean Granny wasted her money?
Well, I don't know about that, but I don't think there's a
tonic in Equestria that can make an old pony young again.
Granny: Howdeee!
♪ (old time piano)
Granny?
Hang on now! We'll get you!
(splash)
♪ (old time piano)
(crash)
♪ (old time piano)
Granny, I thought you were too afraid of the water to swim!
And what about your hip?
Well, I reckon it might have been a problem before I had
myself a dose of that there Flim Flam Tonic.
I'm not so sure that tonic really does anything.
Doesn't do anything?
What do you call this?
(slurp)
(giggling)
I'm glad you're feeling good,
but how do you know it's from the tonic?
Well, I looked out at the water this morning
and I felt the same terrifying aches and pains I always do,
but one sip of that magic elixir and it all went away.
Why, I might even get a head start on my chores.
What do you say, Big Macadoo?
Up for a little afternoon apple bucking?
Uh, Nnope.
Aw, quit yer belly aching!
Gee, it looks like that tonic works after all.
I wonder what's in it.
I think maybe it's time we found out.
So, you're just gonna walk up and ask them how it works?
I guess, though if it's a genuine cure,
I don't suppose they'll be too keen on sharing the recipe.
(crowd noises)
Wait a second!
That's that same pony from before!
Hey!
♪
Now hold it right there, Mr...
Sh-sh-Shill.
Silver Shill.
W-w-what do you two want?
Our Granny took some tonic and we want to know how it works.
Granny couldn't swim before and now she can.
Just like you couldn't walk and now you can.
But what are you doing back here?
I mean, if the tonic cured you and all?
(gulp)
Because he's part of the act.
It's time for you to tell the truth.
You never needed crutches at all, did you?
I... uh.
(whistle)
Hey! (whistle)
Huh?
Well, if it isn't our most favorite Apple!
What brings you back to our humble abode?
You two charlatans sold my Granny a bottle of tonic
and now she's off acting like a filly again.
What's so bad about that?
If she keeps gallivanting around like a yearling,
she's apt to drop from exhaustion or worse.
What's more, I know for a fact that your friend here
is dressing up as a different pony every night
so he can pretend to be cured.
Well, that's quite an accusation.
But let's say that it's true.
Hypothetically.
Theoretically.
As I understand, your Granny was a famous aqua-pony...
The star of the show, once upon a time...
But hasn't set so much as a hoof in the water since.
Until today.
That's right.
Well, then even if our tonic were nothing more than a mixture
of apple juice and beet leaves...
Hypothetically.
Theoretically.
The fact is that Granny is happier now
than before she tried it.
I guess.
So, the question is...
Do you really want to be the pony
who takes all that happiness away?
I...
There you are!
I've been looking all over.
Did you find out what's in the tonic?
Honestly, Apple Bloom, as long as it works,
I don't suppose it really matters.
Well, if it doesn't matter to you,
then it doesn't matter to me either, sis.
That's the spirit!
Come back anytime!
Hey Granny, think you can buck me over the water?
I don't see why not.
Come on, Big Mac, toss her this way.
Granny, wait!
Whoo hoo hoo!
(laughing)
What were you saying, dear?
Granny, don't you think you should take it kinda easy?
I've been taking it easy for too long
and now, thanks to that Flim Flam tonic, I don't have to.
Granny, do you think I could be an aqua-pony like you?
Of course you can, sapling.
There's nothing to it but to do it.
Well, the Ponyville swim meet is coming up.
We could enter together.
A legendary water pony like you?
We'd be a cinch to win.
Hmmm. I don't know.
Being back in the water is one thing,
but a competition is a pony of a different color.
Oh. OK.
I don't know, Granny.
A swim meet sounds pretty safe.
And after all, if that tonic lets you swim in a river
and a swimming hole, a pool should be no problem at all.
Well, I'll be a tart turnover, you are right!
All we need now is more tonic!
Welcome friends and step right up!
The next show starts in five minutes.
But why not buy your tonic now and avoid the rush?
Right this way, good sir.
Granny: We'll take the whole case!
(clunk)
Are you saying this stuff actually works?
It seems to work for Granny.
You heard it here first, folks.
Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic is Granny Smith tested
and Applejack approved!
If Applejack says it works, that's good enough for me!
(cheers and clamouring)
(nervous sigh)
♪
(splash)
Hoo ha hee hee! Ha hoo ha!
Just remember you two, the most important thing
is to be safe and have fun. Right?
Fiddlesticks!
With the routine we've been working on,
I'll be a plum pudding if we don't win this thing.
Uh...
Good luck, then.
Luck?
(scoff)
Who needs luck?
We've got tonic on our side.
Flim Flam's Magical Curative Tonic!
Get your Applejack approved tonic!
Granny Smith drinks it, why shouldn't you?
(cheers)
(sigh) Right.
Granny: Now if you'll excuse us, we've got some swimming to do.
♪ (classical)
(cheers)
Well, I'll be.
That was some of the most amazing aqua-batics
I've ever seen.
How in Equestria did you do it?
Hard work? Lots of practice?
Yeah, but mostly it's the tonic.
That's Flim Flam's Miracle Curative Tonic, to be precise.
Buy it now, while supplies last.
(clicking cameras)
(clamouring)
What are you doing here?
Things are going so well, Flim and Flam gave me a promotion.
Just made my first bit as a salespony.
No more costumes for this pony.
This is more of a uniform.
If you say so.
I used to wonder if I was doing the right thing, you know
pretending to be cured,
basically lying to folks about this tonic,
but thanks to you, I realized
that sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
Thanks to...
me?
With Film Flam's Magical Curative Tonic,
my Granny can do anything!
Just ask Applejack.
(clicking cameras)
No! This has gotta stop!
If ponies keep believing that tonic can do things it can't,
who knows what will happen?
Maybe something like that?
(gasp)
Granny!
What in blazes does she think she's doing?
Granny's going to break the Equestria high diving record.
Land sakes!
(panting)
(spring board)
(gasp)
Now, what in tarnation did you do that for?
That was the most fool-pony thing
I've ever seen anypony do in all my life.
You can't do a dive like that!
Aw, quit your fussin'.
I had enough tonic to do a dive ten times as high.
Twenty times by my count.
Thirty with a favorable breeze.
♪ (celestial)
I hate to disappoint everypony,
but there's no way Granny could have made that dive
because this tonic is a fake.
(group gasp)
But you gave it your stamp of approval!
Are you saying you lied?
I am.
(gasp)
I didn't mean to.
But everypony seemed so much happier,
I couldn't bring myself to tell you
when I found out the tonic wasn't real.
I know it was wrong.
I just hope, with time, I can win back everypony's trust.
But if the tonic is a fake then how come Granny can swim again
and what about all that aqua-batic stuff we just did?
I reckon sometimes you can forget what you're capable of
and it just takes a little extra confidence to remember
that it was inside of you all along.
But telling ponies your tonic can do things it can't
is just wrong!
But you just said it boosts confidence!
And that's not all it does, folks--
Yes it is!
In fact, it's not a tonic at all.
I know because I helped make it.
Watching Applejack save Granny and then admit to lying,
well, that made me realize I was making ponies believe
in a thing that just wasn't so.
Believing in something can help you do amazing things,
but if that belief is based on a lie,
eventually it's going to lead to real trouble.
Thank you, Applejack.
I got this through dishonest means.
That was a mistake I won't be making again.
I'd like you to have it.
As a reminder of how you helped me finally see the truth.
I don't know.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll track down the pony I sold that worthless tonic to
and give them another bit to replace this one.
Honest.
I'm sorry, Granny.
I hope this doesn't mean you'll stop swimming.
Why in tarnation would I do that?
I just can't believe those two salesponies
had me believing I could near fly.
Hey, where'd they go?
Being honest sure gets hard when it seems like the truth
might hurt somepony you care about.
But I think believing a lie can end up hurting even more.
Maybe someponies don't care about that...
But I sure ain't one of them.
Now, you take it easy, there, Granny.
Oh, I plan to.
Oh. Ha, Whee!
(splash)
(giggling)