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Saturday, August 3, 2013

Fnagame Review

Girls! Girls! Twilight needs help!
Fnagame
No, this is not a serious review.
 Hot on the heels of the last fnagame comes another game in this brave new genre (introduced by Stable Softworks in their BronyCon panel announcement), and again it stars Twibright Spankle and her magical pony friends. Lovingly crafted by a dedicated artist, Fnagame is a homage to RPG classics such as Lennyage of Harmoney and Gates of Tartarus, and promises to stun the world in a similar manner as the recently uncancelled Fighting is Magic did (more on that in a future post).

Our review on this revolutionary new fnagame can be found after the break.


 Though it may not have the deep and intricate plot of the genre's prototype, Lennyage of Harmoney, Fnagame still manages to interest the player with its incredibly meta postmodern tale of stolen undergarments. As is tradition with all good fnagames, it tackles the pressing issue of women's rights, as Twibright represents the typical working-class woman, her right to privacy being stolen by a figure who obviously represents the NSA with their dastardly PRISM program. Obviously the mere act of protesting will do little good against such a powerful foe, she chooses several of her closest friends to penetrate deep into the enemy's stronghold and strike the chauvinistic pig right where it hurts the most.


 Part of the fun a fnagame provides is interesting gameplay, and Fnagame delivers quite well in this area. Unlike most RPGs with gameplay divided into separate maps, Fnagame's gameplay takes place inside one large map, with no loading times to get in the player's way. In a way this is sort of like the other Fnagame, except it actually has a real ending. Endings are good because otherwise the player would keep playing the game until they starve to death, which is kind of sad.

 As most of you know, any good game has violence in it. This is because there are many problems which cannot be solved by talking or protesting, so we have to take up matters in our own hands and beat the crap out of our enemies until they give in to our demands. Running is always a bad idea, as winning your battles gives you lots of experience and a bunch of epic new skills to use against the forces of Republican evil.
The graphics are absolutely stunning.
 Dangerous creatures lurk in Twibright's expansive basement, and before meeting your main opponent head-on you'll have to slice your way through Hentais, Buts, and Fangarms (among other creatively-named enemies). These presumably represent the various trials and challenges a modern woman must face. Additionally, a good portion of their attacks are phallic in nature, hinting at the well-known fact that man is the female's greatest enemy. In a way it's a shame that the creator didn't have the courage to stand up and state such a fact publicly, but at least she found some way to insert it into her works.

 Doing battle against horrible monsters isn't the only thing this fnagame has to offer, however. There is also plenty of exploration for the player to participate in, although it does strike me as more than a bit odd that Twibright would have such a large basement when compared to her small house (as briefly seen in the introduction). Then again, she does have a lot of books down there...

 Like any good game, Fnagame has graphics. Since the game doesn't have any credits, I therefore presume that the author made them all herself. Good for her. They look really professional for the most part, except for interface. I'm pretty sure that she stole it directly from some other game, although I'm not sure which one. Still, it's not like anybody minds when you use art without permission, right? It's just a stupid drawing after all.

Every good game also has music. So does Fnagame. Its music is kind of boring, but since it was taken from Gates of Tartarus I really shouldn't complain. Besides, most of us play games on our laptops with the audio down because speakers probably drain battery or something.

Twibright, Colorful Speed, Pearity, and Pokey Pie exploring the basement. Their so cute <3
Sadly, fnagame is not perfect. It has a really sharp difficulty curve as the game goes on, staring off real easy and then getting hard soon into the game. I couldn't figure out why though, as I was leveling up really fast whenever I won a battle. The boss was also kind of hard, and I couldn't beat him. His attacks were also self-depreciating in a stupid kind of way. Also, the main characters are really boring OCs that are just recolored versions of the real pones.

 As if that wasn't bad enough, if you look in the equipment slots Pearity is revealed to be wearing...a corset. That's right! The worst of all ways for a man to hold a woman in bonage is being worn by an upstanding modern girl, which is outrageous. Also, upon unlocking the Magic Ice skill it makes a really offensive joke about the 99% and our not being rich. At first I thought the creator was a model feminist, but now we see her for what she truly is: a lame internet fathead who pretends to be a girl just to get a rise out of us. But I'm not falling for it!
3/10
Xcept for a few good things, this game totally sucked. Also, I pity you if you actually thought this was a serious review.

Comments (38)

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Meh. The Lennyage of Harmoney review was better.
1 reply · active 161 weeks ago
I'm going to need to play this myself to determine whether or not your grade is appropriate.
Can I find the original "fnagame" joke somewhere? This is just making less and less sense.
2 replies · active 161 weeks ago
GILDA GRADE? 3/10? No, NO NO NO, you're doing it all wrong.
That should be OVER 9000 out of 10.

You are offending the Griffon empire, Equestria Gaming.
I am afraid they are preparing to go to war against you.
Please change this to something else, like Parasprite grade,
or else I'll call the troops to Fangame your Fnagame!
1 reply · active 161 weeks ago
"slice your way through Hentais..."
What.

"Additionally, a good portion of their attacks are phallic in nature..."
*facepalm*

"Also, I pity you if you actually thought this was a serious review."
Pity them; pity the fools.

HOT PADDLE SAX? What the flipping hippo is that?
1 reply · active 161 weeks ago
I get an error 509, is there a mirror somewhere?
3 replies · active 161 weeks ago
I have no words.
equestria gaming never really posts anything fun anymore. :(
if you want to see fun, go here: /web/20160909010531/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM9INx94Tck
5 replies · active 161 weeks ago
so someone accidentally made a typo. big deal. it doesn't deserve this much attention. you're probably making the person who made said typo feel bad.
okay now that I have actually played this game, I don't know what the heck I am playing? what is the objective even? there's certain ponies I can't tell if they're allies or enemies. I walked off the bottom of the screen and got game over even though I only had 5 points and still had health. yet next time I went to the bottom I didn't get game over. I have no idea what I am supposed to do in this game and there's like no instructions or anything.

even if this game is an inside joke... if you're gonna post it publicly then you should give more information to people about what those jokes actually are!
2 replies · active 161 weeks ago
my apologies, the above post was referring to the first fnagame, the shooter, not this new rpg one.
5 replies · active 161 weeks ago
"Hot Paddle Sex" is what the Italic Upper-case letters spell.
1 reply · active 161 weeks ago
Seriously? Xtux, are you seriously enough of a jerk to compare Gates of Tartarus, an actual game, with joke games like these? It's just rude to the creator, to be honest. Gates of Tartarus might not be the most seriously created game, but had more work put into it than was put into these. And yes, I am indeed a butthurt twelve-year-old girl. No, really.
1 reply · active 160 weeks ago
I just so happened to find the boss and defeat it with level seven characters five minutes into the game. Was that supposed to happen? xD
Gah! This RPG is boring, man! It's boring!
Seiya Meteorite's avatar

Seiya Meteorite · 24 weeks ago

"HOT PADDLES AX?"

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