>These last few days have been great
>You wake up and fart sunshine all the way down to breakfast
>All throughout the morning there are no knocks at your door
>There are no horny pairs of eyes looking at you from outside the kitchen window
>And you’ve still got all your underwear
>Fluttershy has officially left you alone for a week now
>You don’t know why, but you don’t care
>You’re as happy as a clown right now
>In fact, you might even go out today and see what your friends are up to
>Maybe even run some errands and relax a bit
>Fluttershy doesn’t seem to be bothering you anymore and you are going to take full advantage of it
>You get dressed and take a step outside where it seems to be all and it’s rosy and it’s a beautiful day
>From above you you hear a grunt
>As you turn to look a heavy net falls on top of you and knocks you down to the ground
>Struggling to get free you suddenly feel the ropes tighten around your entire being
>Now you’re being dragged by an all too familiar yellow pony
Fluttershy?
>She’s trying to pull you, but you seem to be too heavy for her
>When she speaks her voice is incoherent, until she spits out the rope that is
>”Hi, Anon. How are you this morning?”
Well…
>You begin thrashing around to desperately try and break free from the net
>”Oh, right.”
>Fluttershy sings a few bars and her animal friends come to her aid
>With their help you’re being dragged easily
>And right into a rather large wooden box too, which has a couple of holes for air and a label on the side that reads, “Warning: Beast is Dangerous and Sexy”
>You ranted and raved and cursed as you were being put in the box
>Fluttershy began filming you
>”We’re going to make our own sex tape. Isn’t that exciting?”
>Dammit, that’s your camera!
>Her animals picked you up and took you through the forest so no one could hear you screaming
>Eventually you arrived at a shack in the woods that she called the “Love Hut”
>And thus began the second most horrible time of your life
>But let’s focus on the first, which happened much, much later, and eventually mutated into the best of times

>You wake up and do the triple s
>Walking downstairs you pray to God, or whatever, that Fluttershy will show up today
>All during breakfast you were on edge, just waiting for a knock
>Waiting for any word from her
>But there was none
>Great, just great
>That means she’s up to something
>It’s been a week and you haven’t seen her at all
>Last time that happened it was because she had spent the week learning how to set up traps 
>So, you can’t help but be a bit paranoid
>You get dressed and head over to Fluttershy’s cottage
>For some reason all of her little animals scurry away when they see you
>Even the bear kind of looks frightened
>Is something up with your hair today?
>Maybe they’re just telling Fluttershy that you’re here
>You knock on her door and mull over what you’ll say to her
>Do you just tell her that you know she’s up to something?
>That probably won’t do much good
>You should just ask her where she’s been
>That’s simple enough
>…
>Wonder how this’ll bite you in the ass later
>Fluttershy opens the door with a smile
Hey, what’s the – 
>She screams bloody murder when she sees you
>What the fuck?
>You look behind you, but there isn’t anything there
>Fluttershy is trembling on the floor now, looking up at you with fear in her eyes
Fluttershy, what the fuck are you –
“Stay away!”
>She scrambles away from you, leaving her door open in the process
>”Run my sweeties!”
>You hear some things being knocked over in her cottage
>Is this some kind of trick or ploy?
I don’t know what you’re doing, but I just want you to know that it isn’t my fetish
>”Don’t come in here!”
>Fine, sheesh
>You close the door and stand there for a little bit before taking your leave
>Don’t know what it is, but something is going on
>You look in the stream at your reflection and don’t see anything out of the ordinary
>As you study the cottage you wonder if maybe Fluttershy has finally snapped
>Either way, you still feel uneasy 

>At dinnertime you’re still thinking about what happened at the cottage today
>That pants-shitting fear is definitely a reaction you weren’t expecting, and didn’t like
>And you still don’t know if she’s planning something
>Dammit, what if she just acted like that so you’d go away?
>Fuck, that was probably it
>You better go over there and – 
>Hey, someone’s knocking on your chamber door
>That must be Fluttershy
>Thank god
>You thought for sure something awful was going to happen
>Well, you better proceed with caution anyway
>You look in the peephole and see that it isn’t actually Fluttershy at your door, but some stallion
>Open the door and see that he’s wearing a police uniform
Uh, can I help you?
>”Are you Anonymous?”
Yes
>”Then you’re going to have to come with us. Cuff the human.”
>Another cop steps forward and asks you to put out your hands
Am I under arrest?
>”Were you at Fluttershy’s this morning?”
Yes, but – 
>The officer cuffs you
>”Then yes, you’re being detained for violating the restraining order that she has taken out on you.”
A fucking what?
>”You didn’t know, huh?”
Yes
>”You did know?”
Goddammit, I mean no
>”You should’ve gotten a notice in the mail.”
Well I didn’t
>”Well either way you need to come with us.”
>Fuck, this is all part of one of her plans, you just know it
>Why a restraining order though?
>It just doesn’t make sense
>She’s fucking crazy about you, literally
>You try to wrap your head around it as you make your way to the jailhouse with the police
>When you arrive they put you in a small cell that only had a bench, a small window, and a toilet in it
>”We’re gonna go look to see if you got that notice, if you did then you’re being fined, if you didn’t then you’re free to go.”
>Well you didn’t, so at least you know you’ll be out of here soon
>You don’t like being detained in a small space like this
>It reminds you of that crazy shack Fluttershy had you in – hold on!
>If you’re trapped in here, then that means Fluttershy has free reign from your watchful eye
>Shit, she probably set this all up so she could finish planning whatever the hell it is she’s planning
>And even if it isn’t that she could still break into your house and steal your underwear
>Then you’d have to go ask Rarity to make more.
>And she’d be like, “darling, you simply must tell me what has happened to your undergarments this time.”
>And you’d be all like, “Rarity, I’m in jail, just shut the fuck up and be generous dammit.”
>You got to get out of here right now
>The door opens and the stallion confronts you
Hey, I got to tell you something
>”Hey, so do I, your restraining order did get sent to you.”
>Your jaw drops
>Goddammit Fluttershy
>”Well, you still got something to say? You got plenty of time to do it.”
Look, I know that nobody ever believes me when I say this – 
>”The ol’ ‘Fluttershy is a sex-crazed rapist’ thing? Yeah, we know all about that here at the precinct.”
I know, you don’t take my calls anymore. You have to believe me this time though, Fluttershy stole that notice from me
>”Well even if that’s true why did you go to her house if she’s such a ‘crazy rapist’?”
Fuck, you don’t get it. She’s planning something big to try and get in my pants
>”You sure like to flatter yourself.”
>This is some bullshit
>You give up with this guy
So, how am I getting out of here?
>”Believe it or not someone is coming for you. We got a wire almost right when you got here.”
>Well who could that be?
>Can’t be Fluttershy, because she’s working on her plans
>”Have a hard time believing Fluttershy would like someone like you. I don’t really see the attraction myself.”
>Okay, kind of weird, but whatever, you agree
I know, me either
>”… That was meant to insult you.”
As far as I’m concerned I don’t get enough insults in my life
>The cop scoffs and walks away, muttering something about you being “ugly and dumb”
>Meanwhile you sit there and think about the dozens of questions filling your mind

>Eventually the cop comes back
>”Your free ride is here.”
>He gives you a funny look and you shrug your shoulders at him
>”You better be on your best behavior or I’ll kick your flank right in that cell you are sitting in.”
>What is with this guy?
>You hear the door open again and…
>Fluttershy is standing beyond your cell
>”Hi, Anon.”
You? What are you doing here?
>”Getting you out of jail.”
>So many fucks fill your mind
Fucking why?
>”Because she’s kinder to you than you deserve,” says the cop. “So shut up.”
>”Oh, please don’t yell at him. I feel so bad that his notice didn’t come in the mail and this happened.”
>The cop falls completely for her bullshit babe in the woods routine and begins to blush
>Great, the cop has a boner for Fluttershy
>No wonder they don’t take you seriously around here
>The cop smiles smugly at you
>”Alright listen up, it would be my privilege to personally watch your every single move to make sure that you never bother this nice mare again. To beat the tar out of you and lock you up if you even so much as went near her cottage.”
>He pulls out a club and runs it against the bars of your cell
>”I’d do it too. You may be big, but you got knees just like the rest of us. It would be my absolute privilege to keep you in my pocket and make you regret ever being in there.”
>The cops here are fucking crazy and Fluttershy isn’t even batting an eye
>Because she’s crazy too
>Are you the only one who isn’t fucking crazy?
>"It would be my absolute privilege.”
>He sighs and begins pouting, “But I can’t because I have to work.”
>Oh thank god
>”That’s why this eager volunteer is going to do it.”
>Fucking what?
>You look over and see Pinkie Pie beaming at the officer, “I’ll make you proud, sir.”
Pinkie, what the shit fuck are you doing?
>”Nonny, do you like my police hat? Isn’t it snazzy? Look, I got a whistle too.”
>She runs down the hall, blowing the whistle all the while

Alright, just tell me the truth, are you planning something?
>”Yeppers, I’m planning a party for next week, and –“
Not you! Fluttershy.
>The three of you are walking back to your house
>”Well, um, you’ll have to wait and see.”
>”Aw, how come Nonny gets the surprise? I want a surprise too.”
Was a restraining order really fucking necessary though? And what was with the screaming this morning?
>”I was playing Pin the Tail on the Pony, and –“
Pinkie, seriously, stop
>Fluttershy pulls a tape recorder out of her saddlebag and hits play
>It has her screams on it and your voice
You framed me?
>”No, that’s a harsh word. I like to say it’s more like… passing out my mix tape.”
That’s retarded! Pinkie, you’re a cop now, she’s framing me, arrest her.
>”Nonny, just because it’s not your kind of music doesn’t mean you have to be a meanie about it.”
>You feel as though you could scream, and yet it would still not be enough to adequately express your immense rage
>”Pinkie, I’m glad you volunteered to help me.”
>”Are you kidding? I get to hang out with two of my best friends all the time now. I hope all my friends get restraining orders!”
I can’t believe you got a restraining order that fast
>She shrugs
Fuck! I can’t believe I never thought of getting one!
>You arrive at your house and try to open the door, but it’s locked and your key isn’t in your pocket
>Great, that asshole cop forgot to give it back to you when you emptied your pockets
Shit, where’s that spare again?
>”In the bushes to your right.”
Oh yeah, thanks, Flut…
>You stop
>Look at Fluttershy who is meekly smiling at you
>”Aw, isn’t Fluttershy a great friend, Nonny?”
>You don’t answer
>Grab your key and unlock your door
>”Um, Anon.”
You’re pushing it
>”It’s just that, it’s a beautiful moonlit night, and –“
I really just want to go to bed
>”But, I was thinking maybe, since I got you out of jail, I could get a reward.”
You’re the reason I’m in jail
>”Can I have a kiss?”
Absolutely not
>You go to shut the door, but something blocks it
>Look to see Pinkie has a club and she’s blocking the door with it
>”Hold on, I was given specific orders by the policeman to give Fluttershy anything that would help her cope with the stress of this situation.”
Pinkie – 
>”And I think a kiss would do just that.”
Pinkie, no
>”Aw, come on, Nonny. Why not?”
>Before you know it Pinkie gets behind you and starts pushing you forward with her club
>”She’s really pretty, and I bet you could get lucky too.”
I don’t want to
>Fluttershy flies up so she’s face height with you, and she puckers her lips
>Pinkie keeps pushing you closer and closer
>In a moment of quick thinking you grab Fluttershy’s head and look deep in her eyes
>She closes them and you begin guiding her…
>Right to Pinkie’s muzzle, as you quickly sidestep Pinkie and push Fluttershy’s muzzle into hers
>Fluttershy puts her hooves around Pinkie’s head and pushes her tongue deep into Pinkie’s mouth
>Pinkie’s mane shoots out just like in a cartoon, and her eyes eventually go half-lidded
>Fluttershy breaks the kiss, pants, opens her eyes, and then gasps
>Her face goes red and she trots away from the scene as fast as she can
>Pinkie wiggles her eyebrows at you and licks her lips
>”You missed out, big time.”
>And then she happily hops away, singing a merry tune to herself
>Only one question is on your mind at the moment
>How long are you going to have to put up with this bullshit?

>The morning went by with no sign of Fluttershy
>Not good at all
>You’re definitely sure that she’s planning something now and you really want to find out what it is
>Get dressed and head out
>As you lock the door and turn around Pinkie suddenly pops out of your bushes and blows her whistle, which gives you a fucking heart attack
>”Where are you going?”
You scared the shit out of me!
>”Oh, sorry. Do you want me to help clean you, or shove it back in?”
What? No, fuck it. Why are you in my bushes?
>”I forgot to give you this last night.”
>She grabs your key with her mouth and you take it
Uh, thanks
>”Nonny,” Pinkie sighs, “you aren’t going to go to Fluttershy’s, are you?”
>Shit, looks like that whole “watching your every move” thing wasn’t just hot air
Nope
>Pinkie squints at you 
>She must really be taking this volunteer thing seriously
>”Ow, your buttons are shiny.”
>You study your brass buttons and see that they are giving off a glare
>Pinkie rubs her eyes and then her smile comes back
>”Well, if you say that you aren’t going by there then that’s good enough for me.”
>She starts blowing her whistle again and trots away
>Well shit, now you’re kind of glad that Pinkie is watching after you too
>You make your way to Fluttershy’s – wait, no you don’t
>Because if you did then that’d mean that you lied to Pinkie, and that would be shitty
>Okay, first you get some binoculars
>Then you make your way to town hall and get a copy of the area map that contains Fluttershy’s cottage
>And then you make your way over to the spot right where her property line ends
>Which is still pretty close to her cottage
>You hide behind a bush just outside her backyard and wait for Fluttershy to come out of her back door
>When she does she… feeds her animals
>And then she talks to some birds for a while
>She waters some flowers beneath one of her windows
>You watch her make a sandwich
>She eats that sandwich in the shade
>She pulls a big cart full of boxes like the one you were trapped in out of her shed
>Then she chats with some squirrels – Hold up!
>You look in your binoculars and see that Fluttershy is attaching wheels to the bottom of one of the boxes
>Fucking called it!
>Knew she was up to something
>She’s making her traps easier to use
>Damn, you have to get some pictures of this or something
>You back away and then cut through Fluttershy’s lawn when she isn’t looking
>And as you’re running you see Derpy looking at the mailbox, with one eye, and the other is looking at you
>She gasps and quickly flies away
>Shoot! Shoot on a shoot sandwich!
>She isn’t aware of this whole restraining order thing, right?
>You quickly run home
>Two police ponies are there
>Fucking hell
>They take you in and the officer who hates you is smugly grinning at you
Goddammit, you have to believe me. I saw her building traps
>”Well, that’s good enough for a confession.”
>Maybe you should’ve kept your mouth shut
>They begin emptying your pockets
>”Binoculars and an area plan that contains information about Fluttershy’s cottage, you know for as big as you are you’d think that you’d have brains enough to hide something like this from us.”
>This isn’t looking good
>They lock you up again
>Pinkie comes up to your cell looking a bit disappointed
>”Nonny, you said that you weren’t going to go to Fluttershy’s”
I didn’t, well not technically anyway, I stayed off of her property
>For a while anyway
>”Nonny, your restraining order requires you to be much farther away than just her property line.”
>Man, how come no one tells you these things?
>The cop comes in, “hey, loser.”
>Oh, that’s right, it’s because the law here hates you
>”Somepony is coming by to collect you again. Probably Fluttershy, that sweet soul of hers, can’t believe she’s wasting her kindness on you though.”
>Sure enough, after what seems like forever, Fluttershy comes by and lets you out
>As the three of you walk home again Fluttershy speaks:
>”You don’t have to keep getting arrested just to see me, Anon.”
Actually, I do, because you’re the dumbass who filed a restraining order against me
>”I’ll come see you next time. How’s that sound? I’ll go to the judge and make an appointment with her, let her know that the restraining order can be lifted for one day so we can see each other without any trouble. How does that sound?”
And when would this be?
>”When your surprise is ready.”
>Damn, damn, damn

>You have your video camera this time
>You had forgotten where you hid it for a while after Fluttershy gave it back, but you found it by your front door under some clothes
>Alright, you are not going to fuck up this time
>Late at night you go out and attach the camera to a tree on Fluttershy’s property
>You make sure that it’s facing her shed and you press record and then sneak off into the night
>This can’t go wrong
>You wait a day and then sneak into the night again and grab the camera
>As you watch the playback most of the same routine happens
>Eventually you see it
>In the afternoon Fluttershy pulls the boxes out and begins working on putting wheels on them again
>This is it!
>Video evidence of her working on traps
>You quickly run to the police station to show that smug bastard officer your evidence
>Can’t wait to see the look on his face when he finds out his waifu a shit
>You open the door and see that the cop is in the reception area
>He raises an eyebrow at you
>”What?”
>Show him the video camera
I got proof

>You’re currently locked in the cell, again
>Because technically you did break your restraining order, again
>But you explained your case to the cop, and this time you’re feeling pretty good
>There’s no way that he can dispute the fact that she’s working on traps right there on video
>The cop comes back, and he’s smiling
>Not good
Did you see the video? Those fucked up traps she’s making. You can’t tell me those are for animals or anything like that either, they’re way too big
>He snickers and shakes his head
What is so fucking funny?
>”Before I say anything, I need to tell you that you absolutely cannot break this restraining order again, or else you’ll be sent to Canterlot to do some serious time.” 
>Son of a bitch
>”Also, I liked the first video better.”
>What?
>He starts laughing again
>”Now look out your window, it should be starting soon.”
>You do so and see a crowd gathered around a big hill
>What’s going on?
>”Oh, and you’re free to go, again.”
>The jail cell opens and Fluttershy is there smiling at you
>As she walks in the cop checks her out like some horny teenager
>Where does he get off?
>Fluttershy then begins rubbing your thigh
>Oh, right
What the hell did you do this time then?

>Spike addresses the crowd:
>”Welcome again to the annual Ponyville Boxcar Downhill Derby!”
>At the top of the hill you see that lots of ponies have lined up and gotten their boxcars behind the starting line
>Spike explains that each box will be pushed down the hill and the fastest box will be judged the winner
>Each box has been decorated to suit the style of the pony that is driving them
>If you had watched the video past the afternoon and into the evening you would’ve seen the footage of those ponies coming over and doing that
>You were still trying to figure out pony technology
>Why can’ they just have the “Play” arrow and the “Stop” square? Why does it have to be a horseshoe and a saddle instead?
>Damn horses
>Also, you never saw the tops of the boxes, and thus, you never saw that they indeed had no tops
>Fluttershy wasn’t making traps – that was just a convenience before – she was actually helping out with this community event
>Ain’t that a bitch?
>Fluttershy snuggles your thigh
>”You want some popcorn before the race?”
>You push her off and leave

>At this point you’ve given up
>Whatever it is Fluttershy is planning, you’re just going to have to face it when it comes
>You’ve been holed up in your house for a couple days now, just trying to stay away from everyone 
>But you have to go out and get some supplies for breakfast now since you’ve eaten everything in the house
>As you enter the market you see Pinkie is there as well
>She’s standing over a scared little colt
>”What are you trying to pull?”
>The colt looks like he’s going to wet himself
>”I was sent by my mother. I didn’t know.”
>”A likely story, but I know a criminal when I see one. They’re the ones who are always breaking the law. You can’t just use expired coupons like that, Rumble.
>”Do you want your mother to cry?!”
>”No, but I still need to get the carrots. B-but I don’t want to break the law. She said that I’d have enough with the coupon, she never told me…”
>He starts crying
>Pinkie hugs him and goes on an extended monologue about how tough it is to be a cop in a crooked, unfair world
Pinkie, you aren’t a real cop. Besides, can’t you go after some real criminals? Stop some real crimes.
>”Never!”
>You shrug and walk away
>Just then Fluttershy bumps into you
>Oh fuck
>You turn around and see that Pinkie has caught on to what has happened
>Fluttershy smiles
>Pinkie pushes the colt away and puts her whistle in her mouth
>No fucking way!
>You run away
>”Wait, come back, Anon.”
>If you get caught again you’re doing hard time
>”Nonny, I have to take you to the court house.”
>Shit, you can’t even go out anymore without getting in trouble
>You run around a corner and into an alley to try and shake them off
>As you get in the middle Pinkie cuts you off
>Fluttershy gets behind you
>”You have to come with us, Anon.”
>”Nonny, it’s time to go to the court house.”
No! Why can’t you leave me the fuck alone? I finally give up and now you want to give me the hard time?!
>Pinkie cuffs you and you follow them to the court house
>It’s not fucking fair
>You weren’t even trying anything with her this time
>Come to think of it, this was a good thing too
>Fluttershy had finally gotten a restraining order put out against you and you stalked her like a fucking dipshit
>Well, at least you’ll be in jail for real soon
>Maybe there you can get some peace and quiet
>Pinkie opens the doors to the court house and you make your way to the court 
>The judge turns out to be none other than Twilight
>You sit down and your trial begins
>”Alright, settle down everypony,” says Twilight. “Anonymous, who will be defending you?”
>That’s a good question
>”I’ll volunteer!” shouts Pinkie
>That’s a horrible answer
>”I’ll allow it,” says Twilight. “Fluttershy?”
>”Um, Pinkie Pie is my attorney too.”
>Seriously? What a horrible decision
>”I’ll allow it.”
You are a horrible judge!
>Twilight bangs her gavel and calls for order
>”Pinkie, you can state your case now.”
>Pinkie nods and throws her police hat over her shoulder
>She’s now wearing glasses and speaking in a southern accent
>”Fillies and Genitalcolts, let it be known that in this here court we have an extremely delicate case that is about to occur.”
>”How delicate?” asks Twilight
>”Why, it’s even more delicate than an ice cream cone that’s got all thirty-one flavors on it, I do declare.”
>Pinkie reaches into her briefcase – don’t know where that came from – and she pulls out a snow globe
>”Now then, this is delicate. I believe I mentioned ice cream earlier, well if I know pony nature then I know that there will forever be a debate between ponies as to whether ice cream or snow cones are the perfect treat to eat on a summer day when everypony is hot and bothered.
>”There are certain advantages to both; while an ice cream may help win over a date with its sweetness, a snow cone has the sour flavor to its advantage; lime may be the bomb when you eat it as a snow cone, but as an ice cream flavor it’s totally gross. 
>”Also, you don’t have to wait for a snow cone to melt if you want to eat it with a straw.
>”We are looking at a case here that compares two perspectives on the same subject; just like an average pony would compare ice cream cones to snow cones, and I must ask that we treat it as seriously as we treat those debates.
>”After all, every day when you’re walking down the street, all the ponies that you meet, have an original point of view. “
>She turns to the ponies behind you, “and I say Hey!”
>”Hey!”
>”What a wonderful kind of day!”
>Twilight bangs her gavel, “no singing yet!”
>Pinkie sighs and pouts
>”Well, I guess that’s it. Just remember that this is all in good fun. We don’t want to hurt anypony’s feelings. Not in court.”
>Pinkie drops the snow globe and it breaks
>”Oh, sorry,” she nervously laughs. “No pony step on that.”
>You’re going to prison

>Twilight looks over some papers as she prepares to make her final judgment 
>You don’t even remember what happened at this entire trial
>There were some arguments about cold treats, Pinkie bought everyone pizza, and somehow Fluttershy’s animals got called to the stand as witnesses
>Pinkie asked a duck some questions
>It quacked once
>The entire court shrieked and Twilight had to call for order
>Someone from behind you said that you were a sick individual
>By then you were just trying to enjoy the last piece of pizza you’d ever eat before being jailed
>Twilight cleared her throat
>”Everypony, I have reached a decision.”
>This is it
>”I have decided…”
>Your hands are sweaty
>You rub your thighs anxiously
>”I have decided to throw this case out of court.”
>She bangs the gavel
>Pinkie jumps in the air
>”We won! We won! Hooray!”
>She grabs you and Fluttershy and brings you both in for a group hug
>”Congratulations you two! I knew we could do it! Ice cream and snow cones all the way!
>”Oh, Twilight, say it!”
>Twilight frowns, “I don’t want to. It’s silly.”
>”Aw, Twilight, please.”
>Twilight smiles and rolls her eyes
>”Bring in the dancing lobsters.”
>She bangs her gavel and party music fills the room from somewhere
>The doors open 
>Various town citizens come in dressed up in lobster costumes and start dancing 
>Their faces are visible
>None of them look comfortable
>Spike dances up to you and Fluttershy and gives her an annoyed look
>”You owe me big time for this, Fluttershy.”
>Pinkie opens her briefcase and pulls out a bucket of fried chicken
>”Who wants some?”
>”Ah do,” says Applejack as she dances up to Pinkie. “Only reason I’m here is for the free food.”
>Fluttershy snuggles your arm
>”Isn’t this wonderful?”
Cheese and crackers! What the fuck is going on?!
>”It’s a party!” Pinkie says as confetti hits you in the face
Party for what? What about my sentence?
>”Anon, I, um, had our restraining order annulled yesterday.”
Why?
>”Lighten up, Anon.” Says Rainbow Dash as she gets out of her costume to get some punch. “It’s a party.”
Would someone please tell me why there is a party!
>”It’s to celebrate us,” says Fluttershy
What are you on about?
>”Well, because,” she blushes, “um…”
>”What she’s trying to say,” says Rarity who is dressed as a pink lobster with sequins for eyes, “is that she’s finally been pursued by you. So we are celebrating that.”
>”Why shoot,” says Applejack, “they ought to call you the hunter after the way you went after Fluttershy like that. Not even the law was stoppin’ ya.”
That’s because I was paranoid out of my skull. Fluttershy…
>You push her off of you first
Fluttershy, if you really think I’m going to party with you then you’ve got another thing coming
>The music stops
>Everyone stops dancing
>Everyone looks at you
>You hear a clicking noise
>Look down to see Pinkie wearing her cop hat again
>She has handcuffed you to the banister
>You’re trapped
>Pinkie begins blowing her whistle wildly and she starts dancing on a table
>The party begins again
>Fluttershy cozies up to you again
>”Isn’t this nice?”
>You growl and try to grab her but she jumps away before you can throttle her
>You lunge forward, but the cuffs keep you back
>She’s just barely out of reach
>”I love you, Mr. Hunter.”
Why don’t you come closer?
>”Um, no. This is a safe distance for now.”
Fluttershy, this plan of yours was stupid as hell
>She sighs, “I know.”
At least I got you to kiss Pinkie Pie
>”Can we please not talk about that.”
>”Nonny, film the party!”
>Pinkie reaches into her briefcase and pulls out your video camera
>You hit the record button but a message comes up saying that there’s no more room
>You have to delete a previous video to record
>A video library of stored data pops up
>Huh, didn’t know it had this feature until now
>Scrolling through them, you see one that catches your eye
>It’s the night Fluttershy and Pinkie brought you home
>Everything is filmed here: the voices outside, Pinkie pushing you with her club, and best of all the entire kiss
>”Is everything alright?”
>You quickly delete the boxcar video and start filming the party
Nah, just trying to enjoy the party
>She beams at you and you shrug
Might as well live for the moment
>You film Fluttershy twirling her mane as you look at her
There’s always time to plan
>And thus began a great time in your life, but that’s quite enough already