"Little League, can't you see I'm taking a SHIT?! Fuck off! And close the damn door!"
>"..."
"STOP STARING AT MY DICK HOLY SHIT YOU'RE LIKE FIVE!"
>"I can be however old you want me to be~"
"...Really now? Where's the fucking logic in that?"
>She thinks about it for a moment.
"Exactly, now fuck off!"
>You throw a roll of toilet paper at her.
>WAIT THAT WAS THE ONLY ONE!
"Hang on, hang on, give that back to me!!"
>Oh shit.
>She gives you a devilish smile.
>"I will, but only if..."
>Dammit Little League.
>"Only if you take me..."
>...
"Nah fuck this I'm just going paper-less."
>FLUSH
>Little League looks disappointed.
>However crazed this pony is with you, you can't just leave her like that.
>You pull your pants up and look at her while you wash your hands.
"Hey League."
>She looks at you with sad eyes.
"How about instead of 'taking you' THAT way, I take you out to go get some ice cream?"
>She beams.
"That's the spirit."
>You dry your hands and ruffle her hair.
>Those big purple eyes of hers gleam and sparkle under your touch.
>Out of all the ponies in this place, why did the cutest one have to be obsessed with you?
>You're going to end up getting a heart attack sticking around her so much.
>A thought hits you.
"Wait. How did you get into my house?"
>You look towards the front door and see a broken window with a baseball bat lying beside it.
>"I don't know..."
>Jesus Christ, Little League.
>That's the fifth one this week.
>She clings to your leg and smiles at you.
>Oh, fuck it.
>How the dicks is it even possible to be angry at a pony so cute?
"It's alright, LL. Now come on, let's go get that ice cream."
>You take a step forward and she tugs on your pant leg.
>"C-can you carry me?"
>K-kryptonite.
"Sure thing."
>You pick her up and carry her.
>She snuggles into your chest and contentedly sighs.
>You should probably visit a cardiologist soon.

>By the time you get to the ice cream parlor, which isn't even that fucking far, she's already asleep.
>And drooling.
>All over your suit.
>Your EXPENSIVE suit.
>And is that-
>OH MY GOD.
>SHE'S HAVING A DIRTY DREAM.
>CHRIST THE SHIT IS ALL OVER YOUR SLEEVE.
>SWEET FUCK!
>Her leg twitches as she wakes up.
>She ignores your mortified look and smiles at you.
>Bedroom eyes, of course.
>Jesus, seriously, this filly is too young to be dreaming of this shit.
>She feels what she left behind on your suit and blushes.
>"S-sorry, Anon."
>You give her a dead look.
"You and I both know you're not sorry."
>She grins.
>"I know," she hums.
>Fucking shit, Little League.
"Well, we're here at the parlor. Go find out what you want."
>"Okay!"
>She hops off your arm.
>Yup, there's a huge damp spot on your left arm.
>Fuck.
>Okay, just roll that shit up.
>Goddamn, if it was Lyra doing that, you would've just dropped her on the ground.
>Curse Little League and her adorableness.
>"'Sup Anon!"
>Fuck.
>Speaking of.
"What do you want, Lyra?"
>"Me? Oh, nothing! Why, I simply came here to grab ice cream, same as you!"
>She's fucking smiling.
>Goddamn it Lyra.
>Little League comes by.
>"Ooh, ooh, I want chocolate, Anon!"
>Lyra looks down at LL and back to you.
>The two have always seemed to fight for your attention.
>Funny most times, and never very violent stuff, but usually annoying.
>They glare at each other.
>League sticks her tongue at Lyra and clings to your arm.
>Ugh, you just wanted to get fucking ice cream.

>"Chocolate ice cream sucks!"
>Real mature, Lyra.
"I like chocolate, actually."
>"Y-yeah, I was just kidding! I LOVE chocolate."
"I was kidding. It sucks."
>"Exactly! Screw chocolate!"
>My god, Lyra.
>You walk up to the counter and order two cones of chocolate ice cream.
>"I-I thought you said chocolate sucked?!"
>You lick the wonderful cone and smile.
"I love chocolate. I was just proving a point."
>She scrunches.
>You smile wider.
>"Well I love chocolate anyways, so shut up!"
>She orders the same thing while you and League sit at a table.
>Lyra sits beside you and scoots closer.
>League scrunches.
>She gets closer.
>Lyra gets closer.
>League scoots.
>Lyra.
>League.
>Now you're practically being fucking crushed.
>League hugs you, eyes never leaving Lyra's.
>Lyra does the same.
>Then they start hugging you tighter.
"URK."
>They don't notice your pain.
>Lyra's horn lights up.
>She tips League's chair, causing her to fall off.
>She laughs.
>League kicks Lyra's chair, causing her to face plant on the table and fall off.
>You can't help but giggle like a little school girl.
>They both glare and snarl at each other.
"Calm down, ladies. Killing each other won't change my opinions of you."
>They both look at you with an apologetic look.
>"Sorry..."
>"Sorry Anon."
>They return to their seats.
>Damn, it feels great to have so much power.
>Lyra starts licking her ice cream.
>Very... sensually...
>She looks right at you while she does so.
>She starts sucking on it.
>L-lewd.
>You feel your face heating up.
>Little Anon likes what he sees.
>F-fucking Lyra.
>Little League notices your reaction and does the same.
>She makes small moans while she does.
>D-damn.
>These ponies, man.

>Wow, these two are really getting into it.
>They're blushing just as badly as you.
>Lyra's panting heavily.
>League is moaning even louder.
>Glad nobody else is in this place.
>Even then, it didn't seem like that'd stop them anyways.
>You look down at your ice cream.
>Now suddenly, the idea of ice cream sounds... wrong.
>Damn it, guys.
>Oh well.
>You interrupt their heavy slurping session.
"Anyone want this ice cream? I suddenly don't want it anymore."
>"Ooh ooh, I do, Anon!"
>Before you can hand it to League, Lyra grabs it with her magic and takes a long lick where you first had.
>EXACTLY where you just had.
>Come on now, Lyra.
>"HEY! THAT WAS MINE!"
>Lyra snorts.
>"What are you gonna do about it? Haven't you heard of respecting your elders?-"
>She throws her cone at Lyra and hits her in the face.
>"Nope!"
>The ice cream comically slides off her muzzle.
>"Ho, so you want to play it like THAT, HUH?"
>League evilly grins.
>"Maybe."
>Lyra tackles League and starts angrily rolling around.
>As funny as it is, and as much as you want to continue watching this, you have to avoid either one of them getting hurt.
"Girls, what did I say about fighting?!"
>They both stop and look at you.
>You purposely glare at them both.
>Their ears fall.
>"Sorry Anon," they both say.
>You look at the chocolatey mess before you.
>You wonder how milkshakes would've gone.
>Either way, it seems time to just cut this thing short and head home before someone gets killed.
>You simply walk out of the building.
>League and Lyra, faces covered in chocolate, flock over to your sides.
>"Where we going next, Anon?"
>"Yeah, where are you going?"
"Home. It was kinda stupid of me to think I could have a regular visit to an ice cream parlor with you two."
>"Wait, does that mean..."
>You slowly start to tilt your head upwards.
>"-Wait, Anon, NO!"
>"Anon, don't-"
>You pause and hold your hand up.
"SHHHHH-"
>"Anon no, please!"
"-UUUUUUUUNNNNED!!"
>Yup, that ought to get them off of you for some hours.

>You hear them both sigh.
>You continue towards your house.
>They both just stand there.
>As much as it was, and still is fun watching them fight, you still were NOT going to be responsible for any accidents or destroyed buildings.
>Well, not again, at least.
>But those ponies had to learn, and if shunning them was the way to teach them, then so be it.
>Although, a shun only lasted for a few hours.
>It's kind of a generally agreed upon thing here.
>Very useful, honestly.
>You enter your humble abode and sigh.
>Once inside, your eyes trail over to your shattered window.
>You figured the third time would've been a good warning that it'd happen again.
>But you still have let to learn that history repeats itself, it seems.
>Oh well, onto bed.
>Even if League climbs through your window again, the shun is still set in place.
>She can't talk to you until morning, or else her shun gets extended.
>It's like the equivalent of shooting someone here.
>Ponies take it pretty seriously.
>Not that surprising, seeing as this is the place that literally hasn't had any murders in like...
>Well, ever.
>It's safe as shit, honestly.
>You sigh and climb into your covers.
>It's still crazy early for sleep, but there's not much else to do for the meantime.
>Not without League and Lyra following you around, at least.
>And that'd simply cause more unwanted trouble, most likely.
>You close your eyes and drift off.
>
>You open your eyes and stare.
>Little League is lying on top of you, staring right into your eyes.
>"Good morning, Anon!"
>Jesus, it's a good thing you didn't get any morning wood today.
>That'd of just encouraged League here.
>You turn to your side and look at your alarm clock.
>It's five in the morning.
>Technically shun-off time now, but still, it's five in the fucking morning.
"League."
>She bats her eyes and gives a sultry grin.
>"Yes, Anon?~"
"Why are you lying on top of me at five in the morning?"
>She responds with a half-lidded smile.
>"I just felt I'd say good morning~"

>You can feel her grinding on you.
"-WOAH-HOA HEY, NO THANKS."
>You sit up and fling her off of you.
>Still fully clothed, having slept in your greatly comfortable suit, you head downstairs, wanting none of League's crap today.
>She had to go to school today anyways.
>You walk into your kitchen and see Lyra looming over your stove with a pan.
>She looks back at you and smiles.
>"You like your eggs scrambled or sunny-side up?"
>Ugh.
>Of course Lyra would be here, too.
>No wonder you were always quick about fixing the window.
>Leaving it broken like that was practically rolling out the red-carpet for them.
>Oh well.
>At least you get breakfast out of it, you suppose.
>Meanwhile, you head over and make yourself some liquid caffeine.
>Coffee, black, like your soul.
>No books or newspaper to read meanwhile, so you simply take to staring out the window.
>Of course League ruins that the minute she goes downstairs.
>"Ooh, breakfast!"
>She turns to you.
>"So are you coming to my baseball game today, Anon?"
>Lyra's ears flick.
>"N-no! He can't go to the game! He was going to go with me to... the... thing!"
"Oh, yeah! I forgot about that thing! You know, the thing with the stuff?"
>Lyra smiles.
>"Yeah, that thing!"
"Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about."
>Her eye twitches.
>Should probably get that checked out at some point.
>"S-so does that mean you'll go, Anon?"
>Man, look at those eyes.
>That adorable grin.
>I mean, the fact that she tried to fuck you aside, she's impossible to say no to.
"Of course."
>Lyra huffs.
"And I'll bring Lyra to it, too."
>She smiles.
>Well, looks like you have a somewhat filled schedule today, then.
>Better drink as much damn coffee as you can.

>Breakfast and shit finishes, and now you and Lyra are on the way to see League's baseball game.
>Because of Lyra's attempts to lead you elsewhere, the game was already on.
>League is sitting by on the bench, looking a bit sad.
>She's holding her Anon hat.
>You decide to show up on the side opposite the bleachers so she could see that you showed up.
>She gets called up to bat and slowly walks over.
>She positions her bat and spots you.
>"Anon!"
>Before she has time to think, the ball whizzes past her.
>"STRIKE ONE!"
>Shit.
>She smiles at you and puts on a game-ready face.
>The ball comes by, and League smacks the shit out of it.
"-FUCKME-"
>The ball smashes into your face and throws you back.
>Damn she has a powerful swing...
>
>You wake up in the hospital.
>Of course.
>League and Lyra are there by your side.
>You can feel your face covered in bandages.
>League jumps onto you and crushes you with a hug.
>"Oh, I'm so so sorry, Anon! I'm sorry!"
>You pat her back and brush her hair.
"It's alright Lilly. At least I got to see you play, right?"
>She smiles and settles herself on your chest.
>Lyra huffs.
>Her being so big compared to League, she probably wouldn't fit comfortably.
>League looks up at you.
>"Are you sure you're alright, Anon? Isn't there some way I'd be able to... you know..."
>She pushes her flanks down your body.
>"-Make it up to you?~"
"-Yeah, you could NOT do that?"
>You grab and place her onto the ground.
>Her ears fall.
>Lyra brushes her tail on your face.
>"You know, she might be onto something, Anon~"
>She leans into your ear.
>"I can help you heal...~"
>Jesus Christ Little Anon's coming out to play.
"No thanks! I'd rather just-"
>"Ooh, I can tell you like the idea, Anon..."
>You cross your legs and huff.
"Can I just get some rest, dammit?"
>League jumps onto you again, face flushed.
>"Looks like you'll be getting more than that, Anon..."
>Fuck.

>You try to grab League and throw her off but not being able to move your head makes that fucking difficult.
>Lyra gently holds you down and climbs up, too.
"Come on! You smashed my face in, and now you want to fuck me while I'm recovering?!"
>Lyra lies on you and brings herself closer to you.
>"This IS your recovery, Anon~"
>You can spot the call remote thing on your left.
>Lyra slowly starts grinding on you while you feel League trying to pull your damn pants down.
>Hell no, you ain't getting them THAT easily!
>You cross your legs tighter and slowly reach for the call button while Lyra stares straight into your eyes with a seductive gaze.
>You scoot yourself closer to the button.
>League finds out how to unzip your pants.
>You grunt and struggle the closer to the remote you get.
>So close.
>Aaalmost there...
>AAAND-
>Lyra sees you reaching for it and tosses it out of the way.
>Fuck!
>"Nu-uh, Anon. Not 'till we get you patched up..."
>League finally gets your pants off and gasps.
>Fuck no.
>You ain't getting this!
>I'm sinking this boat!
>You start rocking back and forth.
>Lyra just thinks you're finally getting into it.
>Then the bed tilts.
>They both don't feel it.
>You can feel the breeze down south just as you rock again.
>The bed tilts like crazy, but it's not enough.
>You try again with everything you've got and topple the bed over.
>You land on your already broken face while League and Lyra get off safely.
>The pain takes a moment to register.
>You scream.

>Weeks of recovery and shit pass.
>You were trapped in a secluded room 24/7 to avoid any more 'accidents'.
>Today, face now beautiful and fucking gorgeous as ever, you were finally being released from the hospital.
>Surprisingly, Little League and Lyra were nowhere to be seen.
>Then again, seeing how they helped you break your face twice, you felt it was probably for the best.
>You start the walk home, still not seeing any sign of the two.
>Although they were crazy forward with what they wanted, they were the closest to best friends you were ever gonna get.
>Again, even though they wanted some additional benefits with it.
>You see your house in the distance.
>How long were you in that damn hospital for, anyways?
>The x-rays horrified you, sure, but was it worth all those days you spent just lying down?
>They didn't even have anything there to entertain yourself with.
>Except your hand, of course, but still.
>You enter your lovely home and notice how empty it still is.
>However, there's a few things strewn about that weren't there before.
>Drawings, probably by Little League.
>Looks like shit of her family, though it's only of her and what is most likely her father.
>You've never even seen her family, honestly, and just assumed she was just living alone or an orphan or something.
>You never really asked about it, but how would shit like that casually come up in a conversation?
>Also, how do you CARRY a conversation with a filly only obsessed with getting in your pants?
>It just ain't doable.
>You climb up to your lovely room and open the door, longing for them wonderful Zs.
>But in your bed, you just see Little League, staring at a framed photo.
>She's crying.
>Her cap is on the floor.
>She slowly looks up at you.
>Her eyes are bloodshot, and she looks like she hasn't had a good sleep in days.
>"M...my dad... h-he..."
>You notice the photo she's holding.
>In it, her and her father are posing beside a huge golden trophy.
>You put two and two together.

>You're not sure what to say to her.
>She just keeps sobbing.
>She's clutching the photo closer to her.
>...You should probably do something about it.
>You silently kneel and pull her into a hug.
>She drops the picture and holds you.
>"I... I didn't know where to go... I just..."
>Her cries get even louder.
>She's drenching your shoulder.
>She's shaking uncontrollably.
>You tighten your grip on her.
>"H-he just got so sick, a-and-"
"Shh, shh, It's alright, I'm here for you."
>She breaks down into tears again.
>Suddenly, you don't see League as just a friendly filly crazed with screwing you.
>You see her as the only thing you feel you need to protect.
>Where was her mother?
>No doubt she'd be looking for League.
"Where's your mom?"
>"I-I don't know. I only have my dad..."
>No mother?
>Dead father?
>Shit, this filly's going into a fucking home...
>No.
>Not on your watch.
"...Do you want to come live with me?"
>She looks up at you and simply nods.
>She goes back to quietly sobbing.
>Well, looks like you have something of a daughter now.
>You literally know nothing about taking care of fillies though.
>Regardless...
>It just felt right.
>
>League is asleep in your arms.
>She looked exhausted.
>You tried to think about what you'd do now, how you'd go about things.
>Then your eyes would trail down to the filly sleeping soundly in your embrace.
>And you realize that it didn't matter what you had to do to keep her safe.
>Whatever it was, you'd do it.
>No matter what.
>You relax and lie down on the floor.
>League manages a small smile and buries her head into you.
>You instinctively start to brush her hair.
>Her breathing is slow and soothing.
>You wished that she was more like this all the time, and not purposely catching you in the shower and on the toilet all the time.
>This time, everything was just right.
>

>Ugh, what fucking time is it?
>You stare at your alarm clock and read five in the morning.
>Old habits die hard, huh?
>What was today?
>Wednesday.
>League should be getting ready for school soon.
>She should've been there yesterday as well, but you're pretty sure she didn't go.
>You sure wouldn't have.
>She stirs awake and yawns.
>She still looks depressed.
>You don't blame her, but you were going to try whatever you could to change that.
>You were going to make her happy 'till it killed you.
>Somehow...
>You brush her hair and pet her.
>She only gives a small, pained smile in return.
>It crushes you.
>Not even Titanic made you this sad.
"Good morning, Lilly."
>"Morning..."
"Do you want to go to school today? I won't force you to if you don't."
>She softly shakes her head.
>She's tearing up.
"What's wrong? If you don't want to go, I won't take you, okay?"
>"F-forever?"
>Shit, if it was possible, yes.
"Well, no... Is there something wrong at school?"
>She pauses for a moment, then nods.
>"D-Diamond Tiara..."
>Fuck, you've heard that name frequently from the CMC.
>Something of a spoiled little shit that always bullies them.
>It's fucking on, then.
"How about you go to school today, and I give this Diamond filly a visit?"
>She pauses before smiling and hugging you.
>You whip up a quick peanut butter and jelly sandwich for League and walk her to the schoolhouse.
>Some little bitch was about to get hers.
>She tells you to show up during lunch, which was a few hours away, giving you some free time.
>You use that time to see what kind of things you'd need to do in order to become League's legal guardian after, well, you know.
>The ponies there were already aware of his passing, and were actually a few hours away from taking her.
>To you.
>Apparently League had talked about you and how great you were very often.
>Her father knew of his illness and wrote you off as a legal guardian after following you around for a bit.
>And you never even knew he existed.
>

>After getting that all set up, you walked back to the schoolhouse and showed up just in time.
>Ponies were pouring outside for recess.
>You ran over to the back of the school and hid in the shadows, spotting League almost instantly.
>She sits at a table and sets her lunchbox down before looking around, probably trying to find you.
>Your eyes meet and she giggles before returning to her food.
>What were you even to do to this Diamond bitch?
>Your thoughts are cut off when you see her.
>It has to be her.
>She's wearing a tiara and has a mad case of bitchy face.
>Sure enough, her and this little grey cunt approach her.
>They're just close enough to hear.
>"Still wearing that raggedy old hat, I see!"
>"That thing is like, SOOOO ugly!"
>She fucking takes it.
>"Hey! Give it back! You'll be sorry!"
>"Heh, as IF! My daddy is the most powerful pony in Ponyville! Plus..."
>You think you know what she's going to say.
>...Don't you say it, you fucking cunt.
>"...My daddy's ALIVE."
>League starts crying.
>THAT'S FUCKING IT!
>You sprint full speed at the bitch.
>Before she even turns around, you grab her.
>RKO!!
>You grab the grey one by the tail and fling her like a damn frisbee.
>She gets crazy air and slams into a bush.
>Diamond is sputtering and dizzy on the ground.
>You take the opportunity and punt the shit out of her into a table.
>You grab League's lunchbox.
"Let's get the fuck out of here."
>Thankfully, the other ponies were too into their game of tag to notice you.
>No witnesses.
>You pick League fireman style and leave the school house.
>You look at the two fuckers for a moment and grin.
>Thankfully these ponies were essentially the consistency of jello, so you wouldn't have to worry about killing anyone today.
>Cartoon physics are great.
>League is softly sobbing while you walk.
>Fuck it, if anything, you'll homeschool her.
>And on an unrelated note, where the hell was Lyra?

>You take League back to your house, not paying much attention to the small comforts you were giving her.
>You suddenly couldn't stop thinking about Lyra.
>Not in the way you know she'd like, but the thought kept gnawing at you like a bunch of little kids to candy.
>You knew she was an adult, and you also knew that she was roommates with a not-so-secret secret agent, which might cause more than a bit of drama.
>You knew she could take care of herself, but the thought was still there.
>What if she died?
>Shit, don't think about that.
>It's fucking funny to joke about, but in the chance you're right...
>Well, just hope you aren't.
>Maybe you could go visit her later?
>Huh, that'd be the first, actually.
>Not that you're a horrible friend or dislike her or anything, but you know, she DID try to chloroform your ass.
>But of course, being a cute pony and all, it was just written off as nothing.
>There's probably so many bad things in this world that are written off like that.
>Instead of a murder, it was just an 'innocent accident'.
>The thought of it is horrifying.
>You get to your house and gently lay down the now sleeping filly on the couch.
>Why was she always sleeping in your arms?
>What the hell was so good about them?
>Was being carried comfy?
>Meh, who cares, at least League is cute doing it.
>And everything else.
>...It's a bit hard to believe she's essentially yours now.
>One second she was asking you to fuck her, and the next you were protecting the shit out of her.
>Hmm.
>Well, League should be fine on her own.
>Ponyville's no Juarez or anything.
>You put a blanket over her and rest her head on a pillow before stepping out and heading for Lyra's.
>It's actually not that far away, and you could've sworn that she had lived a lot further from you at some point.
>You come up to the house and knock.
>The door's already open.
>Oh shit, that's not fucking good.
>Well, actually, it could just mean that she forgot to close her door.
>Again, Ponyville's not that bad.

>Good town or not though, the thought scares you.
>You're sure that you're just freaking out though.
>There's no way that in the short time you were gone, she managed to die or something.
>...Well, one pony did already.
>But don't count two!
>Lyra's good, she's fin-
>-Where's all the furniture?
>You're pretty sure that Lyra would have furniture in her house.
>If not for Lyra, then her agent roommate.
>Or maybe they were robbed?
>...Of absolutely everything.
>Damn.
>You walk aimlessly around the house a bit, confirming that the place is indeed, horribly empty.
>Then you hear a small tune.
>It's like the kind of creepy shit you'd hear in a scary movie before you got killed.
>But no matter!
>You're pretty sure that Ponyville doesn't even have ghosts or anything.
>Pretty sure.
>PREEEETTY.
>You follow the noise to a single room.
>There's light coming from under it.
>You open the door.
>Well shit.
>There's Lyra.
>She's lying on the floor beside a candle, wrapped in a blanket with her lyre beside her.
>There's trash all around her.
>She looks as bad as Little League did when you first saw her yesterday.
>"H-hey, Anon..."
"Lyra, why is everything in the house missing?"
>She stares at the floor.
>"Bon Bon left for Canterlot. I had to sell the things inside to keep the house and eat."
>She forces a smile.
>Well fuck it, you've already helped League out here.
"Why don't you just stay at my place?"
>She peels her eyes from the floor and stares at you.
>"I-I can't. You don't want me there. I'm just... useless..."
>Damn, you're surprised all this sadness hasn't sent you to the fucking hospital again.
"Of course I want you there. And this useless talk IS useless. You and I both know that's not true."
>"But it is... All I've ever done is bothered and annoyed you, and- and-"
"I've heard enough."
>You blow out the candle and pick Lyra up just as you did League.
>You hold her lyre under your arm.
"You're coming to my house whether you like it or not."

>She just stares at the floor while you carry her.
>You peck her on the cheek.
>Her ears perk up and she blushes.
>She looks at you, wide-eyed.
>You just laugh.
>She manages a small smile and rests her head on your chest.
>"Th...thank you, Anon."
"Don't mention it. Being amazing is part of my job description."
>She giggles softly.
>You reach your home rather quickly and slowly open the door.
>League isn't how you left her, and is now just sprawled on the couch, snoring slightly.
>It's freaking adorable.
"You hungry, Lyra?"
>The second you ask the question, you hear her stomach rumble in response.
>The more you look at her, the more you realize how much... thinner she is now than before.
>It's not enough to warrant any freaking out, but it's definitely there.
>Some of her color is gone, too.
>Whether it's just from a lack of showering or something out, you're not sure, but it pains the hell out of you to see her like this.
>You sit her down at the table and whip up a sandwich for her, catching yourself almost putting some ham into it.
>You set it before her and watch her inhale the thing.
>You can tell that she tried to slow down, but her stomach had other ideas.
>It only took about a minute.
"Want another one?"
>She stares at her plate.
>"N-no thanks."
>You make another one and give it to her.
>She looks at it for a moment before looking up at you and faintly grinning.
>"Thanks, Anon..."
>She eats that one, too.
>You give her a glass of water and then finally take her upstairs.
>You were sure she could walk, and that she wasn't that weak, but you weren't taking any chances.
>You give her a towel and washes and stuff and send her off to shower.
>She takes the towel and pauses.
>She turns and walks up to you.
>She kisses you on the cheek and walks into the bathroom.

>
>You wake up from the feeling on something lying on top of you.
>It's League.
>Lyra is also lying on the bed.
>She's curled up on the other side, facing away from you.
>League is shivering.
>You look at your alarm clock.
>Five in the morning.
>Of course.
>You slip out of bed and tuck League in.
>Yeah, fuck school, you'll teach her everything she needs to know.
>You'd probably end up killing Diamond Tiara otherwise.
>You get out of bed and look at the very different scene on your bed.
>Just a few weeks ago they'd be cuddling the shit out of you and trying to rip your pants off.
>Now they're just so... distant.
>You already miss their old selves.
>Not in the lewd sense, but at least they were both much happier before.
>Now...
>You had to find some way to cheer them up.
>Permanently.
>These two can't just go on living miserably like this.
>Hmm, think Anon, think!
>What can you do here?
>Something fun?
>Does this damn place even have anything fun in it?
>You hear a thump on your door downstairs and investigate.
>There's a pile of mail by the door.
>...Why Derpy is still considered fit to be a mailmare, you'll never know.
>Is Derpy even her name?
>You've heard Ditzy, Derpy, and now fucking "Muffins".
>Wish ponies would just make up their damn minds.
>You spot a colorful flyer and pick it up.
>It's one about a carnival thing appearing in town.
>Wow.
>That's... really convenient.
>Well, now you've got something to do today.
>This ought to be a fun weekend.
>And hopefully an uplifting one.
>For their sake.
>How are you going to help them out in the long run here anyways?
>How many festivals cover up the death of someone?
>You have some thinking to do.
>Might as well start on breakfast meanwhile.

>You make pancakes for today.
>You set everything up at the table.
>The two don't come downstairs.
>You sigh and go upstairs to them.
>It was about seven now.
>You had to make those pancakes perfectly.
>You walk into your room and sure enough, they're both sleeping.
>League is still shivering, despite curled into a blanket, and Lyra just looks exhausted.
>Breakfast in bed it is, then.
>You go back down and grab the plates and some trays.
>You go into the room and Nudge Lyra awake with a tray.
>She gasps and looks at you.
>Her mind reels for a second and she smiles.
>"Y-you didn't have to..."
"I know."
>Her smile widens.
>It's the biggest smile you've seen out of her since yesterday.
>Very small compared to the smiles she'd usually give.
>Hopefully you'd get to see them again.
>She sits up on the bed and you adjust the pillows comfortably for her.
>Then you come up to League.
>She's mumbling.
>You lean closer.
>"H-help... p-please...DAD!"
>She jolts awake, breathing heavily.
>She clutches you the second she sees you and starts sobbing.
>"I-I couldn't s-save him..."
>You brush her hair and set the tray on the bed.
>Maybe some counseling or something could help these two out...
>The way things have been going so far, it probably won't be long until you need some yourself.
>You've heard what usually happens to those who try helping depressed people.
>And if these two aren't depressed, then you don't know what they are.
>And depression might as well be a disease.
>It spreads through contact.
>Misery does love company, after all.
>What the hell did you just put yourself into here?
>Whatever, stay strong, Anon.
>These girls are the only friends you've ever had in this place.
>You can't just send them off to some random guy.
>Not to mention how expensive that'd be.
>But what the hell were you doing?
>You don't know the littlest thing about dealing with this.
>The "Magic of Friendship" won't help you this time.
>You're on your own here.

>
>Going to this carnival thing took a lot more convincing than you thought it would.
>You weren't very good at talking them into it, but somehow, you did.
>Finally, you and the two were headed there.
>For some reason, you saw this as the cure for everything.
>I mean, who can hate a carnival?
>You thought the same thing when you showed up.
>The place was already bustling with ponies welcoming something different into the town.
>Everyone was smiling, playing, eating cotton candy.
>Even League looked a bit excited.
>Then she looked at you and no doubt wished her father could've been here.
>Lyra was silent.
>She wore an entirely emotionless face.
>You, meanwhile, were faintly starting to already feel the effects of being around them, all down and such.
>You were now infected.
>It was just a matter of whether or not you were strong enough to fight it.
>The rides and smiles of the other ponies brought a small smile to your face.
>A hopeful smile.
>Things had been going so fine until you went to the hospital, and even afterwards.
>Now, looking at things, you felt like you were a completely different person from how you were during that time.
>You were curious what other ponies thought of you as they spotted you.
>The town no doubt saw you and these two's antics.
>But now things changed, it seemed.
>Things not very clear on the outside, but definitely within.
>You thought for a moment how everything came to this.
>How unlucky you were to be gone the single moments that Lyra and League needed you the most.
>You were a horrible friend.
>They suffered alone because of you.
>You didn't help them.
>You ignored them.
>You blink and become aware of what you're thinking.
>Your mind's already starting to self destruct.
>You can't let that happen.
>You have two friends here to help out and protect, and today, you were going to have some damn fun.
>If not for yourself, then for these two.
>They both looked like they'd been miserable for weeks when you found them.

>You pull yourself away from your thoughts when a stallion starts calling out ponies.
>"Cotton candy! Get your goody-great cotton candy here!"
>You buy some for yourself and the girls.
>You occupy yourself with eating it to avoid thinking anymore about the situation.
>You walk over and get some wristbands for yourself and the girls.
>It was just like the carnivals back home.
>Wristbands meant unlimited rides.
>You remembered going to a few with your family and friends.
>All the fun you used to have.
>You enjoyed staying during the night, watching the place light up.
>You loved watching the lights, the colors.
>You especially loved the ferris wheels, when they'd take you all the way to the top.
>The city lights were always an amazing sight.
>And then you ended up here.
>In Equestria.
>With all your friends and family gone.
>Never to be seen again.
>You shake your head and look back at the two.
>They still look pretty excited.
>"Ooh, ooh, can you win me that bear, Anon?"
>You look over at the booth she's pointing at.
>It's a simple tossing game with the stacked bottles.
>There's a huge bear plush hanging in the back.
>You've got this for sure.
>You buy a try and smash one pile easily.
>"Ooh, that's one!"
>Throw number two.
>"And that's two! Don't slip up, now!"
>League is hopping in anticipation.
>Number three.
>You toss it and miss the bottles.
>It misses by an inch.
>"Ooh! So close! That's the closest I've seen anypony get all day! Tell ya what, I'll get you any prize you want, this one time."
>You caught your frown and smile at his words.
>League jumps up to the counter and points at the bear.
>"Ooh, ooh! That one, that one!"
>The stallion levitates the bear over to her.
>It's about twice her size.
>She grins.
>"Thank you, mister!"
>She looks at you.
>"You're the best, Anon!"
>You certainly don't feel like it.
>You couldn't even get the third shot in that game.
>You were so close to it, too.
>You could add throwing to the list of things you're bad at.

>You opted to carry around the bear, mostly because of how badly League seemed to struggle with it.
>And so you didn't feel completely useless.
>Lyra and League start smiling the longer you're there.
>You find yourself lost in thought more.
>Thinking of all the times you went wrong.
>You excuse yourself from any and all rides with the excuse of having the huge bear in your possession.
>You barely take advantage of the wristband you bought.
>How will you pay for yourself and three in the same roof?
>Will you have to starve yourself for these two?
>Are you even WORTH wasting food on?
>The thoughts assault your mind constantly.
>Minutes feel like hours.
>You find yourself following Lyra and League instead of the opposite.
>You hang back, silently thinking to yourself while those two chat it up with each other.
>Were you even good enough for these two?
>Did they even like you anymore?
>You don't like you, so why would they?
>No, don't think of that!
>You shake yourself free from your thoughts.
>Here you are, standing, watching them have fun on a roller coaster.
>You kind of wanted to join them, but it seemed you were already on a roller coaster.
>Just not a particularly fun one.
>
>The next thing you knew, it was night.
>You felt exhausted.
>You did a lot of thinking today.
>You had this cold, unwelcoming feeling crawling down your back every once and awhile.
>Your walk dulled into a slow shuffle.
>Your eyes stayed glued to the ground everywhere you walked, lost in thought.
>League and Lyra were up ahead, laughing and smiling with each other.
>You walked in silence.
>They didn't notice your behavior.
>They didn't care.
>Nobody cared.
>Who would care about the weird alien guy?
>Obviously nobody.
>They all hated you.
>Hell, YOU hated you.
>Things didn't seem exciting anymore.
>You didn't give a shit about the lights.
>You just wanted to go home and sleep forever.
>Then a thought hit you.
>...
>No.
>You can't do that...
>Lyra and League, they'd...
>...They'd...

>...They'd probably be better off.
>Honestly.
>You could just work for a little while more.
>Grab some overtime.
>Leave a fund behind.
>Give those two something to continue on with.
>"Hey Anon, why're you just standing there?"
>You look up at Lyra.
>You don't answer, and instead pick up the pace.
>You know she doesn't care about you.
>You're just there to pay for everything.
>You're useless otherwise.
>They go up to a ferris wheel and usher you into a cart.
>You sit in between them both.
>You're staring ahead, but your mind was elsewhere.
>The ride starts.
>You stay silent.
>You don't smile.
>You don't frown.
>You don't cry.
>You just stare ahead.
>You slowly reach the top of the ferris wheel.
>It stops.
>The two are awed by the view before them.
>You're staring at the ground below.
>The long, no doubt lethal drop.
>Your hands clench the bar holding League and Lyra back.
>You continue to stare at the ground.
>Your breathing quickens.
>Just jump.
>Do it.
>Nobody will care.
>They won't miss you.
>You'll be doing them a favor.
>You slightly rise from your seat.
>It's now or never.
>Just do it already.
>Be done with it.
>When will you have another chance at this?
>What's so worth going on another day for?
>You slowly stand.

>"A-Anon? What are you doing?"
>You turn.
>Lyra looks really concerned.
>She noticed you staring at the ground.
>She seems to be holding it back a bit, though.
>League is just staring at you, clutching her stuffed bear toy.
>You feel a wave of sadness wash over you and sit you back down.
>You take to just staring at the floor of the cart.
>Christ, what were you thinking?
>How did you even fucking end up thinking about this, like the sadness just finally had its time to flow in and fester.
>You're losing yourself, here.
>You have to stay strong, damn it!
>Lyra puts a hoof on your shoulder and leans into your ear.
>"Thank you, Anon..."
>She rests her head on your side.
>League lies on your lap, smiling.
>"This was the best day ever, Anon."
>You look ahead at the view before you.
>The lights of the town, the mountains, Canterlot in the distance...
>It was breathtaking.
>...To think you just finished wanting to...-
>League sighs.
>"I love you, Anon."
>You smile.
>Lyra kisses your cheek again and smiles.
>"Me too."
>Silence.
>League stirs a bit.
>"I love Anon more."
>There's another brief moment of silence.
>Then you all start laughing.
>A thought slowly settled in your mind, clearing all the fog that took hours building up.
>It didn't matter what these two were going through.
>It didn't matter that you couldn't see Earth again.
>It didn't matter what you were.
>League and Lyra were your best friends.
>-No.
>They weren't friends.
>They were family.
>YOUR family.
>And as long as you three were together...
>You were going to be alright.
>You relaxed and softly sighed.
>You held them both closer to you.
"I love you both, too."
>You stare out into the distance and enjoy the view.
>As long as you held together, and stayed with these two...
>Things were going to be just fine.

>As the night winded down, you, League and Lyra walked back home.
>It seemed that they felt just as you did at the moment.
>And you felt that if they were both by your side, you were untouchable.
>You all joked and laughed the way home.
>Things suddenly didn't feel so bad.
>Lyra and League had you, and you had them.
>You knew you had to keep your mind in check, though.
>Today you ended up doing a full, bipolar, emotional one-eighty.
>In less than a day.
>That couldn't happen.
>Even now, you aren't exactly sure HOW it happened.
>But you were damn sure you didn't want it to happen again.
>You show up at the house and walk inside, huge stuffed bear still in tow.
>You were mentally exhausted.
>You didn't know what time it was, but you knew it was late.
>You instinctively walked upstairs and hopped on your bed.
>Despite having another, perfectly fine room in your house, the girls opted to stay with you.
>You didn't mind at all.
>You got yourself comfortable and snuggled under the covers.
>League hugged and laid herself on your chest.
>Lyra hugged your side and elicited a content sigh.
>Nobody felt the need to say anything.
>You felt happy just having them there beside you.
>Your new family.
>The ones you'd do anything to protect, and keep by your side.
>
>You wake up mid-snore and catch yourself.
>League and Lyra are still next to you.
>Your nightstand clock reads five in the morning.
>As always.
>You attempt to pry yourself free from the two, to no avail.
>Eh, who cares?
>You're not complaining, here.
>You feel League stir a little bit and start brushing her hair.
>Under the recent developments, you were able to see her under an entirely different light.
>You couldn't help but notice how adorable she was.
>From her soft purple eyes and flowy blue mane to her cute little freckles, she was just...
>Beautiful.
>She certainly gave the CMC a run for their money in the cuteness factor.
>And now, she was, technically, yours.
>Like... like a daughter...
>You smile.
>There's a thought, huh?

>You feel Lyra move as well.
>She happily sighs and wraps her hooves around you.
>Then you feel League shifting again.
>She's mumbling.
>She looks distressed.
>You lightly shake her awake.
>She pauses and looks at you with a frightened expression.
>She smiles and hugs you.
>You are now a cuddly sandwich.
>
>Literally hours were just spent lying in bed.
>Even when everyone was awake, nobody had moved.
>You woke up at five in the morning.
>It's twelve now.
>It was just a lazy kind of Sunday, you guess.
>You offer to make breakfast, and the girls offer to help you.
>They even admit they know literally nothing about cooking.
>You accept the help regardless.
>You think of making this wonderful breakfast you remembered your father would always make for you.
>A pancake breakfast sandwich.
>Oh, just the thought of it makes your mouth water.
>You start up the pancakes and accidentally throw enough butter in the pan to make Paula Deen orgasm.
>Fuck.
>Well, you can still work with it.
>Meanwhile, you ask Lyra and League to go on egg duty.
>You're sure they can't fuck it up as bad as you usually do.
>You give them the rundown of what you're making, which normally included meat.
>"I'll try it with meat."
>"Yeah, I wanna try it!"
>Hold on, what?
"Uh... You guys sure? I mean, I could just throw some flowers and-"
>"-How bad could it be?"
>You shrug.
"Oookay, but don't say I didn't warn you both. And I'm pretty sure there's laws or something against this back on Earth."
>"Oh, whatever. We'll be fine, right, League?"
>She nods and smiles.
>"If you can eat it, so can we!"
>Well, despite going against plenty of your moral standards, you can't really complain here.
>They always used to want your meat anyways.
>This should be really interesting.
>You get to cooking the pancakes.
>

>Three talentless displays of cooking later, and you now had the most heavenly breakfast creation the world has ever seen before you.
>Two brilliantly over-buttered pancakes over bologna, ham, and cheese slices that were really damn difficult to cut, as well as two eggs over easy in order to fill the whole thing with yolk.
>It just...
>It'd bring any lesser man to his knees with it's beauty.
>You notice Lyra and League staring apprehensively at the bologna.
>Any griffon would just be fucking that up right now.
>Thank sweet Satan for them and their meat-eating ways.
>Lyra notices you looking at her and forces a smile.
>"This meat looks soo... tasty..."
>You shrug.
"I told you guys I could just put flowers!"
>Lyra nods and gulps.
>"I-I'm fine."
>She stares at it.
>"W-what animals is this stuff made out of?"
"That stuff is just pig, actually."
>While she pokes at the sandwich, you start destroying the fuck out of yours.
>And meanwhile-
>Holy shit.
>League's halfway done.
>She's really enjoying it.
>D-did you just make her omnivorous?
>She notices you staring and cracks a huge smile.
>"It's really good!"
>Wow.
>Little League is now officially the greatest best filly ever, hands fucking down.
>Lyra finally brings herself to take a nibble.
>Then a bite.
>"Sweet Celestia, this IS really good!"
>Holy shit, you think you just converted these two to your meat-eating religion.
>You're like Jesus.
>Could ponies even digest meat?
>Or furthermore, could THESE ponies digest meat?
>"Why have I never tried this before?!"
>"This really is soooo good, Anon."
>Whelp, at least you got another thing in common with these two.
>They just keep getting cooler and cooler.

>After your wonderfully eye-opening and delicious breakfast...
>Well, you didn't know WHAT to do.
>Honestly, you just felt like sleeping the whole day.
>Plus, having had breakfast in the afternoon, there wasn't much TO do.
>You kind of wasted half the day.
>Cuddling with two great ponies, yeah, but wasted regardless.
>You simply took to the couch and started reading up more on Equestria and such.
>Even after so many years here, so many things were left to mystery.
>Hell, even the entire planet had some mysterious stuff left over.
>Nobody had really set out to cover the planet here.
>There's apparently this huge damn forest on the other side of the planet that nobody's completely explored.
>Apparently because nobody returns.
>You're sure that's just because of heat stroke and shit, but some of the damn horrifying, and horrifyingly cute, creatures in the books you've read tell you otherwise.
>As of now, you're reading up on flowers and shit from the scary-ass forest just next door.
>Even the plants here are fucking crazy.
>You remembered hearing about this plant in Australia that emitted some smell or some shit, which drove cattle and other animals to walk into its spikes and get impaled.
>THEN, the fucking plant would feed off the shit from the animals.
>Because in Australia, everything's trying to kill you.
>You weren't sure if the shit was actually real, but it sure sounded like it.
>And Equestria is pretty much enlarged Australia.
>Times ten.
>You come across some thing about this plant that knocks you the hell out.
>It's fucked up, mostly because within that time, anything and everything has a perfect chance to eat your shit up.
>Then there's another one about this plant that messes with you in, well, whatever way it chooses.
>If it wants you to become a nigger, it'd sure as hell make you one.
>It's scary.
>But...
>Kind of interesting.
>It's nothing fatal, and there's apparently an easy antidote thing for it.
>...There's a thought.

>Just before you finish reading the page, you feel League jump on you.
>You lower the book and are met with big, purple eyes staring back at you.
>"Whatcha reading?"
"Scary plant stuff."
>"Scary plants?"
>She lies herself beside you on the couch, practically pushing you off, and stares at the pages you're holding up.
"See, this one's about this weird plant that can, pretty much, do everything to you. It can make you tiny, make you a guy, a different color... It's weird stuff."
>Lyra hops from behind you both and lies her head on the couch's armrest.
>"Sounds cool."
>You nod.
"Pretty damn scary, too."
>"...We should go find one and see what it does!"
>You and Lyra just stare at her.
>"What if it could give superpowers or something- or make you INVISIBLE?"
"That wouldn't surprise me, honestly. The Everfree's got weird stuff in it."
>"Well let's go see for ourselves, then!"
>"...Into the EVERFREE? That's crazy dangerous, League."
"Well, in here it says that it grows on the edges of the forest."
>"Is that a yes?!"
>You and League stare at Lyra.
>"...Sure, why not?"
>"Yes!"
>
>Why you were suddenly excited to look for this plant, you weren't exactly sure.
>From the small excerpt you read about this plant, the possibilities were essentially limitless, so you were hoping to get some crazy-ass flying powers from it.
>Or maybe some magic shit.
>You smile at the possibilities.
>Or maybe you're just bored to the point of being excited to look around for stupid plants.
>...
>Who cares?

>You pack enough supplies for the apocalypse and head out.
>Better to be safe than sorry.
>You, League and Lyra all have your own hiking gear-looking backpacks and leave the house.
>It's actually a really short walk to the Everfree, and soon, you're walking through the forest.
>"So, what does this flower look like, exactly?"
"From what I read, it's a bright blue, and kinda looks like a daffodil."
>"You mean like this?"
>You turn around and see League rolling around in the stuff, laughing.
>Wow, and here you thought you were going to embark on an epic quest.
>So much for that shit.
>You walk up to the enormous fucking patch you somehow missed and pluck one.
>It slightly loses its color as you do so.
>Weird.
>Lyra scans one as well.
>They smell like blueberries.
>Probably to lure things in.
>Crazy.
>And because you're already holding the blue fucker, something's bound to happen now.
>Lyra nibbles a petal.
>"Huh, it tastes really sweet!"
>League tries one.
>"It does!"
>You look at the flower in your hand and try a petal.
>You gag and spit.
"UGH, CHRIST THAT'S HORRIBLE!"
>It tastes like how you'd imagine fucking deodorant does.
>The girls laugh.
>"So, what? We just go home, then?"
"...I guess, yeah. I wasn't expecting to find them in like, two minutes."
>"We should take them home and grow them! They taste good!"
>You shrug.
"Don't see anything wrong with that, honestly."
>Until it turns you inside-out, that is.

>
>You open your eyes.
>The minute you wake up, you realize you still don't feel any different.
>Stupid plant was fake or some shit.
>You look up.
>Yup, nothing's changed here.
>Anon and Lyra are still the sa-
>WAIT WHAT.
>You bring your arms up to you.
>Orange hooves.
>FUCK YOU PLANT I WANTED SUPER POWERS, NOT THIS SHIT!
>You nudge them awake.
>Lyra stirs and smiles at you.
>"Good morning, League, and... me..."
>Her eyes slowly trail towards her newly acquired hands.
>She screams.
>Lyra jolts awake, screaming as well.
>You scream because they're all screaming.
>-Not for ice cream.
>Suddenly League lets off a bolt of magic that starts bouncing around the room.
>Now everyone's screaming AND ducking their heads.
>The thing picks up speed the more it bounces, then finally hits you in the face.
>League shoots another.
"Stop doing that!!"
>"I'm not doing it on purpose!"
>She blinks.
>Another bolt.
>The bolt causes her to blink.
>And another bolt comes out.
>There's fucking three of them flying around everywhere.
>You lick your hoof and put it on League's horn.
>The magic dissipates.
>Jesus Christ.
"Okay, League, DON'T. FUCKING. BLINK."
>"W-why?"
>She blinks and shoots off a bolt.
"That's why!!"
>You kill the magic again.
"Just, be still. I'll, I dunno, get some glue or something."
>"You're going to GLUE my horn?!"
"Well you're not using it, are you, Lyra?"
>She looks down at her hands and slowly shakes her head.
"Exactly."
>You hop off the couch and walk to the kitchen.
>League is trying her hardest not to blink, and Lyra's staring at your as-
"HEY! Quit checking me out!"
>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just, I- AAH!~"
>What the fuck?
"What the hell was THAT?!"
>She doesn't respond, and instead just reaches for her-
"YOU JIZZED IN MY PANTS?!"
>"I-I c-can't STOP!"
"TAKE THE FUCKING PANTS OFF!"
>She does so, and just stands in her-your- underwear.
>It's literally DRIPPING semen and shit.
>Dear god why?
"Go to the bathroom!!"

>She hastily nods and runs upstairs, practically painting the fucking floor.
>League's been holding her breath.
>"THATWASWEIRD-"
>Magic bolt!
>GET DOWN!
>It hits you in the chest and knocks the wind out of you.
"FUCK!"
>"S-sorry, Anon!"
"You're alright, League."
>She goes back to staring at the wall while you go to grab some glue.
>You can hear fucking moaning meanwhile.
>You open a drawer and spot the glue.
>You can't fucking pick it up with your hooves.
>You try to grab it with your mouth and end up pushing it back.
>Lyra's too "busy" to grab the shit, and you don't trust League with that damn magic.
>You reach a hoof for it, but it's too big to fit through the space between the counter and the drawer.
>Then, you see it LEVITATE a bit.
>"SORRYIGOTTABLINKANON!"
>Magic bolt!
>It hits your TV and blows it up.
>You frown.
>Your eye twitches.
>Not that you were ever able to fucking USE that TV, but it was still your damn TV.
>"SORRYANON!"
>You turn back to the glue while you cry on the inside.
>You point your hoof at the shit and see it lifting up again.
>You slowly pull it backwards.
"H-holy shit!"
>"...What?"
"I'VE GOT THE FORCE! I can move shit! Check this out!"
>You walk back, holding the glue in midair and smiling like a retard.
>League just stares at it in awe.
>"H-how did you-"
>Blink.
"AH SHIT!"
>You duck and hit the floor while a beam flies and hits your ass.
>You make a very high pitched yelp.
>League laughs.
>You just resume your levitating shit and successfully unscrew the cap.
>It was like you still had your fingers with you.
>You squeeze the thing and pour superglue all over League's new horn.
>You doubt Lyra would like you pouring glue all over her horn, but to be fair, you know she's probably stroking the shit out of yours.
"Alrighty, just stay still a bit so it dries."
>She stands and stares for a minute before taking a cautionary blink.
>Her horn lights up, but does nothing.
"Nice."

>League smiles.
>"Thanks, Anon."
>You simply nod, then notice how silent Lyra's been from upstairs.
>You and League share a worried look before heading upstairs.
>There's a damn trail of dried up jizz leading to the bathroom.
>You slowly open up the door and-
>OH MY GOD THERE'S CUM EVERYWHERE!
>IT'S ALL OVER THE WALLS!
>IT'S ON THE CEILING!
>JESUS CHRIST!
>On the floor sleeping is... Lyra?
>But she doesn't have your glorious body anymore.
>She's a unicorn again.
>You glance at League, who still is in Lyra's body.
"Okay, this is officially fucking freaky."
>She just nods.
>You nudge Lyra awake with your miraculous force powers.
>She stands up and looks around at the room.
>She has the blankest face ever.
>"Oh my gosh did I do this."
>...What?
>"Eew it's so gross this stuff is everywhere."
>...She sounds like a damn robot while she speaks.
>She has almost zero emotion.
>You pick her up with the force and pull her out of the bathroom.
>"Whoa Anon that's amazing. How did you do that."
"I dunno. The real question is why the fuck do you sound so damn emotionless?"
>"I don't know. And why is League still me if I'm me."
"I don't know! But thanks for painting the bathroom!"
>"...I'm sorry Anon. I couldn't control myself. I just kept... cumming..."
"Yeah, I can tell. So if you AND League look the damn same, then where's MY body?!"
>"I don't know, Anon."
"How did you even change back? And how did you end up on the floor sleeping like that?"
>"From... you know... it got me really tired..."
>Hmm.
"...Maybe you changed by sleeping? Are you still tired?"
>"A little bit."
"Experimentation time!"
>You pick Lyra up and she lazily flails around.
"Aaah, put me down, this feels weird. Aaah."
>You and League giggle.
>"Hey shut up."
>You reach the downstairs and set her on the couch.
>It literally only takes a few minutes for her to fall asleep.

>Sure enough, you see her covered in some bright light for a few seconds.
>Now she looks like Little League.
>Or, you, in this case.
"Wow, holy shit, I was actually right!"
>She wakes up and looks at you both before running up and facing you.
>"Hi, I'm Little League! What's your name?"
>You and League just share a huge frown.
"I'm, uh, Anon."
>"Nice to meet you, Uh Anon!"
>She hops over to League.
>"What's YOUR name?"
>"It's, uh, Little League."
>"Really? That's funny, that's my name, too! Also, Uh Anon looks exactly like me! This is WEIRD!"
"Um, is that still you, Lyra?"
>Her head snaps to you all creepily and shit.
>"Who's that? I wanna meet them!"
>You and League share another worried look.
>Some weird paranormal activity shit going on here.
"It's, uh, nobody."
>"Cool! So you guys wanna play something?"
>She's hopping in place.
"Um, actually, me and League here were just about to go to sleep! Do you want to join us?"
>"Sleep? It's still day!"
>"Uh, yeah, we know! We just, uh, are REALLY tired, you know?"
>She just stares at you.
>She doesn't move.
>She doesn't blink.
>She doesn't breathe.
>"...Okay! Sounds good! I AM pretty tired right now!"
>You slowly nod and head over to the couch.
>League follows and sits very close to you.
>You're practically hugging the armrest of the seat.
>The imposter filly just stares at both of you.
>For a long time.
>"Aren't you two going to sleep, too?"
"Oh, right! Of course!"
>You nudge League and close your eyes.
>She does the same.
>You wait a moment, then open them slightly.
>She's still fucking staring.
>This shit is beyond creepy.
>You better just hope she falls asleep at some point instead of stabbing you or some shit.
>Happy things like that are always evil, if the damn movies have taught you anything.
>

>
>You open your eyes.
>Right away, you feel weird.
>You stand up from the couch and look around.
>You're actually YOU.
>League is lying on the couch, but Lyra is still- or WHOEVER- is still, just, staring.
>Straight at you.
>Instead of nudging, you just grab League, all while trying not to break contact with the thing.
>She- it- smiles.
>League scrambles awake in your arms.
>"Anon, what are you-"
>She turns to face her imposter and freezes.
>She turns around and stares at your chest, not daring to move.
>"Anon, th-this feels weird. Why does everything feel weird?"
"No idea, but I'm not staying here with... that."
>You walk backwards slowly and hit the front door.
>You open it and step outside.
>A person bumps into you.
>Wait..
>You turn around.
>You're in the middle of a street.
>There's sidewalks full of people walking by.
>Cars are honking and threatening to run you over up ahead.
"Wh-what the fuck?"
>League stares out in awe.
>"What is this place?"
"It's... Earth. Looks like New York or something."
>"Really? I thought it was hell."
>Hold on, what.
>You look down at League.
>She's just staring at you.
>You scream and fling her into the pack of cars.
>They just honk.
>League disappears.
>You hop on the sidewalk and just start walking.
>All the people stare at you as they walk by.
>ALL of them.
>Okay, this is obviously some kind of fucked up dream.
>You start to recognize your surroundings.
>Hey, this was the trip you had when you came to visit Uncle Anon!
>You spot his apartment in the distance.
>Didn't he die in a gas leak explo-
>The apartment blows the fuck up.
>Rubble flies everywhere and car alarms start going off.
>A watch lands before your feet.
>Yeah, you remember this.
>That was pretty much the worst day of your life.
>Just, not anymore, because now you're old enough not to give a shit.
>You smile and grab the watch.
"Neat!"

>The world around you suddenly disappears and changes shape.
>You're now in front of Lyra's house.
>Well, if you're gonna be in some creepy ass dream, might as well go with it.
>You casually open the door.
>It's dark as dicks.
>You continue to Lyra's room.
>There's light and shit under it.
>You open the door.
>Lyra's lying on the floor, instead of sitting on it when you found her.
>There's an open pill bottle beside her.
>She's facing it, sleeping 
>...Except she's not breathing.
>You slowly walk forwards.
>...She's dead...
>An overwhelming sense of dread brings you to your knees.
>She's dead.
>Wait, fuck, this is a DREAM!
>It just LOOKS realistic!
>You leave the room, AND the house as damn quick as you can.
>Your house is right in front of it.
>You barge in.
>The couch is clear.
>You've got to figure out what the FUCK is going on!
>You run upstairs to your room, hoping by some random chance that there's a way out in there.
>Except you see League.
>She's...
>Oh no.
>She's facing away from you, staring at a mirror.
>She has a noose over her neck.
>Fuck, NO!!
>She's standing on a stool.
>"I'm... I'm sorry I'll never be good enough for you, Anon..."
"League, DON'T!"
>You leap towards her and try to pick her up, but your hands just go straight through her.
>Okay, it's just a dream, it's just a dream...
>She's crying.
>"I'm sorry, Anon..."
>She kicks the stool.
"SHIT, NOOOO!!"

>"ANON, NOOO!"
>W-what?!
>In the mirror, you can see League in the same spot as you.
>She's watching you struggle and gasp, trying fruitlessly to help out.
>You reach for the mirror.
>Your hand goes through it.
>You step into it, watching League break down into tears before your hanging body.
"League?"
>She turns to you.
>"A-Anon? Is that really you?"
"...Are YOU really you?"
>"I-I don't know..."
>You kneel and offer a hug.
>She runs into your arms, still crying.
"Well, so far, so good. The last one I thought was you was all creepy and stuff."
>"The first Anon I met said he hated me..."
"Well that Anon's an asshole, because I love you."
>She looks up at you with a hopeful, unsure look.
>You both smile.
>"Hi, Anon."
"Hey, Lilly."
"So, do you have any idea where we are?"
>She shakes her head.
>"I-I'm scared, Anon..."
"I know... Me too."
>You both hold each other as the room just fades into pure darkness.
>Everything is empty.
>You plan to just wait it out.
>
>You open your eyes and look around.
>You're all lying on the couch.
>League and Lyra are beside you.
>They're breathing. 
>Thank fuck.

>The Poison Joke flower is on your table, completely colorless and wilted.
>League is clutching you the same way she was in... whatever the fuck that was.
>You feel something in your stomach bubbling to the surface.
>You slip out of League's grasp and run outside.
>You throw up all over the grass.
>It's fucking blue and sparkly.
>Your eyes trail over to your left arm.
>More specifically, what's ON it.
>It's Uncle Anon's watch.
>You're wearing it.
>The last time you saw it was as a Little Anon, was when that shit fell into a fucking river.
>And now during that dream thing.
>So, how did...?
>Okay, this is probably still a dream, then.
>Eyes open, Anon.
>You think for a moment before pinching yourself.
>It hurts.
>Then how the fuck?
>Focus, focus.
>You jump back into the house and viciously shake League awake.
>"AAH, huh, what? Anon? Are we still in that scary dream thing?"
"I don't know! Look at this!"
>You flash the watch.
"I lost this watch when I was FIVE, and saw it in the dream, and now I have it! I don't know how!"
>"So we ARE dreaming?"
"I don't know! I pinched myself and it hurt, and-"
>"H-hang on, one second!"
>She runs outside and throws up.
>It's blue and sparkly.
>She comes back in with a disgusted look on her face.
>"I just-"
"Threw up? Blue and sparkly colored? Yup, so did I! That's why I can't tell if we're still-"
>Lyra groans and shifts in her sleep.
>You and League freeze.
>She sits up and looks at you both.
>"...Let me guess, MORE lizard people? Where are they- let's just kill them already."
>You share a look of confusion with League.
"...What?"
>"Oh please, I've gone through this stupid dream thing like, thirteen times already. Watch, some lizard people are gonna come in, kill you both, come for me, eat me, then I'll wake up and do this again."
"...What?"
>She just stares at the door.

>You open it and point outside.
"Lyra, there ARE no lizard people."
>She continues staring out of the front door.
>"That's what you said the last four times. And then you died."
>You start to feel afraid of the idea of lizard people while you stare outside.
>You still weren't sure what WAS and what wasn't real.
"...When do they get here?"
>"Few more seconds."
>You instinctively pick up a lamp.
>Lyra, still staring, shakes her head.
>"They'll shove that lamp down your throat."
>You frown and put it back.
>You pick up a book.
>"Smash your face with it."
>...Hat rack?
>"...Don't wanna know."
>With some force, you break off a part of the stairs.
>"Huh. Well that's new. Also, ten seconds."
"What?"
>"They'll show up VERY soon."
>You ready the thing and stare.
>"Three, two, one, aaand..."
>...
>Nothing.
>"...Huh, never had them late before."
>She waits for a few moments, then her eyes go wide, and she runs to the kitchen.
>She throws up in the sink.
>Of course.
>And... yup, blue and sparkly.
>She slowly walks back and stares at the door.
>"Why hasn't anything showed up yet? ...Is...is it finally over? Are we real?"
>You and League shrug at the same time.
>At this fucking point, nobody even knows for sure.
>Then you have a small, clever idea.
"Field trip, girls!"
>

>You show up to Twilight's castle and barge in.
>You end up in the main room.
>The six are all sitting over a huge holographic map.
"-AM I REAL?!"
>They slowly move from their chairs and look at you.
>"Um, what?"
"IS THIS REAL LIFE, TWIGGY PIGGY?"
>She scrunches.
>"Anon! You know I hate that nickname!"
"Yes, I know! Now can you tell me everything here is real?!"
>She hops off her chair and trots to you.
>"Why? What's going on?"
"TWILIGHT, I'VE BEEN TRIPPING SO HARD IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING FUNNY!"
>"'Tripping'...?"
>Lyra steps forward.
>"Poison Joke."
>"...Poison Joke?? What happened? Did you get the spa treatment?!"
"No, but we did all throw up blue and sparkly shit."
>Her pupils shrink.
>"Wait, y...YOU ATE A PETAL?! YOU ATE A PETAL, DIDN'T YOU?!"
"...Maybe."
>"T-THAT THING CAN MAKE YOU CRAZY! IT'LL FORCE YOU TO LOSE YOUR MIND!"
>She runs over to the other five.
>"CHANGE OF PLANS, GIRLS!"
>
>Damn.
>Remember when you read on that plant?
>Turns out there was a second page to it.
>Twilight explained it in the scariest way possible to you and the girls.
>Basically, you just finished hallucinating, and then having horrible nightmares.
>Whereas regular contact with the thing just gives you those weird effects, EATING it causes you to simply hallucinate said effects. 
>During that, it burrows into your mind and creates those nightmares from your worst fears and/or experiences.
>That's also just phase one.
>Touching it is what gives the plant the name 'Poison Joke', but as it turns out, those few inhabitants who've seen others eat it, just call it "blue death".
>...Woo.
>Twilight told you about the other two phases.
>The second causes you to go insane and experience hallucinations almost all the time.
>Your brain deteriorates from that shit, too.
>The third phase just kills you.
>Everything shuts down, and you die.
>Not before experiencing excruciating pain and horrifyingly real nightmares, though.
>So now you have that to worry about.

>Okay, so, since you're not doing much, I think a recap is in order.
>You, Anon, are buddies with Little League and Lyra.
>Both are not very tsundere about wanting to get in your pants.
>You show up to one of League's baseball games, and guess what?
>She hits you in the fucking face with a baseball.
>Then you knock out, wake in a hospital, and have to deal with those two trying to fuck you on the hospital bed.
>Face already smashed, you tip your bed to throw the two off, and just manage to smash it more.
>THEN, the two get blacklisted from visiting you, and you spend weeks completely healing in the place.
>When you are discharged, you come home to find out that League just finished recently losing her father, her only parent, and that Lyra had also recently gotten left behind by her friend Bon-Bon, who bolted to Canterlot for some special agent shit, most likely.
>By the time you found Lyra, she sold everything in her house besides her lyre to pay for food, and had been living on the floor of her room, struggling to simply survive due to the lack of a job.
>League had shacked up in your house, drawing, eating and crying over her dead father.
>And although you never met her father, he had heard enough good things about you to make you League's new legal guardian, already expecting the inevitable.
>After taking Lyra and League to permanently live in your house, you quickly succumbed to some secondhand depression, never dealing with it previously.
>While you take them to a carnival in Ponyville, you begin to feel even more depressed.
>You belittle yourself, think of untrue opinions and viewpoints on things.
>During a ride on a ferris wheel, you contemplate jumping.
>You then settle and realize how happy the two make you, and how you shouldn't put yourself before them emotionally.
>You had to stay happy to make them happy.

>Now content with the girls, and them slightly happier, you have a stupid fucking idea while reading through a book.
>Why not fuck around with Poison Joke?
>Thinking it'd be fucking fun, you and the girls head out and fuck around with it.
>You all try a petal, the girls saying that it had tasted like blueberries.
>After going through horrible hallucinations and fucking nightmares about League killing herself, and her seeing you kill yourself, AND Lyra seeing something related to lizard people, you ask Twilight about the shit.
>Turns out that not only does the fucking flower taste like blueberries, but after three days it'll taste like fucking dementia and brain damage and shit.
>So now, as a hopeful journey to find a Deux Ex Machina, you, the girls, and the main six head out to find the zigger named Zecora, in order to give you an antidote or some shit to keep you from fucking dying.
>And now you're walking through the fucking forest.

>Zecora better have a fucking cure thing.
>You're not wanting to deal with this 'going crazy' shit.
>Speaking of, through Rainbow Dash, you heard that Zecora only speaks through sick beats.
>That is to say, rhymes.
>Some shit about 'tradition' or whatever the fuck.
>Just the thought of it is pretty damn annoying to you.
>"There it is, up ahead!"
>You walk up to this tribal-looking hut in a tree.
>It's pretty much the brightest thing in the entire damn forest.
>Twilight knocks on the door.
>Well, fuck, moment of truth.
>Here's to hoping that this nigger has something to help you and the girls out.
>At least Lyra and League, if anything.

>There's a few moments of silence before a zebra opens the door.
>She's got a fucking mohawk.
>This should be good.
>"Ah, Princess Twilight, is everything in Ponyville alright?"
>Ugh, god, it's like reading a damn children's book.
>"Zecora, we really could use some help here..."
>Twilight goes on to explain how you ate the petals and shit, and about everything you and the girls experienced.
>Pretty much everything in your mental recap.
>She then ushers all of you into her small-ass hut.
>"This is a serious problem for your friends indeed, but a quick brew of ingredients is all that they need."
>"So you'll help them?"
>She nods.
>"I will help any friend of Princess Twilight to better health, regardless of species, looks, or wealth."
>Damn, this bitch is good.
>She should seriously consider rapping.
>While you contemplate the idea, she gets to work on creating that life saving shit.
>You wonder what her alchemy skill is at.
>
>The brewing not taking long enough to warrant conversation, everyone took to just sitting on the floor.
>It was painfully silent, aside from some clanking and boiling shit.
>Then Zecora stops.
>She turns to Twilight for a moment, then to you, Lyra and League.
>She has a saddened look on her face.
>"I have run out of ingredients for the curing brew. The little I made is only enough for two."
>Fuck.
>You should have seen this shit coming.
>Everyone's ears perk up.
>Twilight jumps.
>"W-what? Don't you have any way of getting more ingredients?!"
>She slowly shakes her head.
>"The chance of finding such a plant is extremely low, and during this time of year, it simply will not grow."
>She turns back to you three.
>"My many apologies go to you three. I've tried all I can, but one cannot be poison-free... This dreadful situation fills me with great sorrow, and I shall find what I can to help you three out tomorrow."
>You share a solemn look with the girls.
>You know what you have to do.
"You two take the cure."
>Everyone gasps.

>Of course this damn zigger couldn't have enough ingredients.
>Of course this shit couldn't be a happy ending.
>And of FUCKING course the missing ingredient is some gay-ass rare thing only found like, once every thousand fucking years.
>It's just always this shit.
>Never fails.
>You simply continue sitting on the floor while Lyra and Little League hesitantly drink the cure thing.
>The six keep glancing at you every so often, but don't offer anything in the way of words.
>And they best keep it that way, because you're fucking pissed.
>Fucking cliche movie shit, this is fucked up.
>Fuck you, universe, this isn't the last you've heard of Anonymous!
>
>Now, you're on your way back home.
>Everyone's silent.
>You're really wanting to just, strangle something right now.
>Fuck Zecora.
>Fuck the Everfree.
>Fuck Equestria.
>This is a load of fucking HORSESHIT.
>You hang in the back of the group as they walk.
>After nearly tripping on a goddamned root, you punch a tree out of pure and utter hatred for everything.
>The pain registers, and it fucking hurts like shit.
>It just gets you more fucking pissed off.
>You punch the damn tree with your other hand and just start kicking its shit, ripping off branches and trying to tear it in half.
>A pair of blue hooves jump and restrain you.
"FUCK YOU! GET OFF OF ME!!"
>"Anon, calm down! Calm down, Anon!"
"CALM DOWN?! YOU FUCKING CALM DOWN, DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO, YOU PURPLE SHIT!"
>Nobody else reacts.
>They just stare at you with saddened looks.
>It angers you even more.
>You feel like you're about to explode.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT, HUH?!"
>You elbow Dash in the stomach and bolt.
>You instinctively head for your house.
>These fucking assholes, looking all sad and shit.
>You don't need their goddamned fucking sympathy.
>They don't understand.
>Those stupid pricks.
>Fucking zebra bitch.
>Fucking Poison Joke.
>Fucking book.
>Fuck everything.

>Why are you so goddamned ANGRY at everything?
>Fucking Christ it's just-...
>...Well, you're going to die...
>You're going to go absolutely mental, and die.
>You slow your run into a simple walk.
>Then you stop and simply stand.
>You let the thought sink in.
>You're going to die.
>You're screwed. There's no "second chances" here.
>It's already done.
>Now the clock's ticking.
>You've got three days.
>Come on, Dead Rising has prepared you for this shit.
>But...
>This isn't a game.
>You know for a FACT you're gonna die.
>Those damn nightmares and shit were plenty confirmation that you are indeed, fucking screwed-
>Something tackles the fuck out of you and practically sends you flying.
>Of course, it's Dash.
>She smashes a hoof in your stomach.
"OOF, FUCK."
>She just silently gets up and glares at you.
>Knowing Dash, you expected her to fucking just kill you right now for elbowing her.
>She actually showed some mercy.
>Painful mercy, but you did kind of deserve it.
>You could at least admit that.
"S-sorry."
>She continues glaring for a second before her face falls into one of regret.
>She offers you a hoof up.
>"Just, don't do that again."
>You nod.
>The thought hits you again.
>You're dying.
>She's being nice because you're dying.
>Your mind unconsciously throws the thought away.
>There's no way you can be dying.
>You're too young, and healthy, and those plants were probably just meant for ponies anyways!
>You're twice their size!
>You're fine!
>...
>In the back of your head, you know it's bullshit.

>The other ponies quickly follow.
>They look scared, but worried.
>You obviously overreacted a bit.
"Sorry..."
>Their faces turn to that of sadness.
>Twilight offers an understanding nod.
>
>You were now home.
>What was there to do NOW?
>Three days.
>Three days until you went insane and eventually died.
>What should you do?
>What COULD you do?
>You get comfy in your bed.
>Guess getting comfy is really all you CAN do.
>You silently stare at the ceiling fan above you.
>This is it.
>This really is it.
>Twenty seven years, all boiled down into three days.
>On Earth, you would at least have your friends and family with you.
>Your REAL family.
>You wondered how they were doing.
>Do they still even remember you?
>Do they already suspect you dead?
>Years worth of thinking about the subject flood into your mind.
>It's way too many thoughts for three days.
>Your door creaks open.
>"M-may I come in?"
>It's League.
"Sure, Lilly."
>She shuffles over to your bed and hops on.
>She doesn't speak.
>She just hugs and clutches you.
>"Anon..."
>You wait a moment before looking down at her.
>Her eyes are filling with tears.
>"I-I don't want you to die- I want you to stay here with me! I don't want you to leave, Anon! Not you, too!"
>She starts crying into your chest.
>You brush and pet her.
>You can't really say much here without lying.
>"I-I LOVE you, Anon... I love you..."

"I love you too, League. More than anything."
>She wipes a few tears.
>"R-really?"
>You manage a small smile and nod.
"Swear on my life."
>She returns your smile.
>Then she blushes.
>"C-can... you... Can you sh-show me?"
>Just before you can ask her what she means...
>You feel her.
>...Down there...
>"I-I've been waiting for a long time, and n-now that you're going...I..."
>She looks ready to cry again.
>You shush her.
"Just... why do you want to do this so much?"
>"-Because I love you, Anon! And I want to show it!"
>Eyes still wet, she nuzzles your chest.
"League, you don't have to show your love like that-"
>"-I want to, Anon. Please."
"But I don't-"
>"Please..."
"...Are you sure?"
>She looks at you with a hopeful smile and nods.
>She's so adorable, just staring at you with those big, purple eyes.
>Those cute freckles of hers...
>You'll miss them...
>...Well...
>...
>If she WANTS to, you don't see much of a problem.
>The laws in this place've already established that it's legal, too...
>Not that law is really a big concern to you, now.
"...Okay."
>She gasps and grins.
>"Thank you, Anon!!"
>Before you can say anything, she kisses you.
>Not on the cheek, either.
>She's fucking dominating you right now.

>You can feel her tongue just attacking your mouth.
>She's really into it.
>She breaks the kiss shortly after, panting a bit and blushing furiously.
>She doesn't waste a single second before going for your pants.
>You're a bit taken back.
>She's almost crazy about it.
>You can tell she's waited a long time for this.
>Unlike her attempt at the hospital, she unzips and takes your pants off extremely quickly.
>She didn't fumble with it at all.
>You had to admit, how eager she was to do this, was...
>Exciting.
>You weren't hard as diamonds, you were HARDER.
>She doesn't flinch at your length and takes you in her mouth.
>Only a few seconds in, you felt like exploding.
>She held her eyes on you, slurping and licking you like a damn pro.
"H-how are you so... GOOD at this?"
>She pulls away and gives you an embarrassed smile.
>"I, uhm, may've practiced with pickles a few times...I'm... doing good?"
>You nod.
>Then an idea comes up.
>Or rather, a number.
>You motion for her to turn around.
"Gotta return the favor, don't I?"
>She get's even redder and eagerly grins.
>Sure enough, she plants her plot right on your chest.
>It's...
>It's glorious.
>Her soon-to-be marehood is swollen and red.
>No wonder she's so crazy.
>Not only was she before, but heat must make it worse...
>How old is she, anyways?
>Fucking- why are you contemplating here?
>Just get to it!
>You see a small fluid drip onto your chest.
>D-damn.
>Time to get to work!
>You only have three days anyways.

>You move your middle finger in between her.
>She shudders and moves closer to you.
>She really IS eager, holy shit.
>You continue to tease the entrance, enjoying the little whines every so often.
>She keeps trying to get closer to you.
>She does this to the point of bending your dick just to be in your face.
>It's uncomfortable.
>You finally pull your hand away and bring yourself forward.
>You give one small, experimental lick.
>You feel her gasp.
>Now you tease her with your tongue.
>You've heard of mares actually tasting like candy and shit down south, but League was more... salty.
>Like, pretzel salty.
>Like, pretzels you'd buy at a baseball gam-
>...Wow.
>So your special talent gives you different tastes?
>That's freaky.
>But cool.
>You finally ease your tongue in, feeling a bit bad about teasing.
>Another gasp.
>You're not sure what you're doing, honestly, but you can tell she's enjoying it.
>You've never used your tongue before.
>Things also weren't so... sensual, back home.
>The more you circle your tongue inside, the more you feel the whole thing squeezing on you.
>It's basically trapping your poor tongue.
>Then you feel yourself nearing the end of the ride.
>League's breathing quickens, too.
>Come on, gotta get that creampie.
>Even though it's not, you know, entering-
>Whatever.
>You kick it into high gear and spot a sensitive spot on the top.
>You attack that shit and barely miss League's back leg kicking you in the goddamn face.
>Her snatch is crazy hot.
>Like, almost Hot Pocket tier.
>You put your hands on her flanks and knead them like dough.
>You're getting crazy close.
>Everything devolves into constant primal grunting.
>Like a women's tennis match.
>Then you feel your dick about to drop some Hiroshima shit.
>League traps your tongue inside her.
>You timed it perfectly.
>You lap up League's salty pretzel juice and she takes your...
>Well, your semen-tasting jizz.
>Who knows what it fucking tastes like?

>You both lay and enjoy the moment for a while.
>Honestly at this point, you didn't give a shit that she was a filly.
>She wanted the shit out of you, and you wanted her.
>And now you have nothing to really lose, here.
"So... want the main course?"
>She turns to you.
>"Y-you don't need a break? I read that stallions only-"
"-Human, remember? I'm all ABOUT stamina."
>Her grin grows while her face gets redder than a... red thing.
>Shut up.
>She flips around.
>Your glorious manhood rests right between her pretzel palace.
>It's practically burning your dick off.
>In a good way though.
>Not sure how to explain that.
>"W-will it hurt, though?"
"Well, didn't you say you practiced with pickles?"
>"Yeah, but that wasn't for... that..."
"You never... put things in there?"
>She shakes her head.
>"I wanted to experience it with you, first..."
>Wow, she's held off for all this time?
>She's got some pretty high expectations.
>Not only that, but she practiced, AND waited for you?
>That's... actually kind of flattering, honestly...
>Now you feel bad for never doing this earlier...
"Well, if you haven't done anything before, it could probably hurt a LITTLE..."
>She winces.
"Do... you still want to...?"
>She thinks about it for a second.
>She nods.
>"I only want you, Anon. Nopony else can compare."
>Wow.
>That's... actually the nicest thing you've ever heard.
>You smile.
"You've got the floor then. You're on top, here."
>She returns the smile.

>Slowly, she raises her rump and touches your tip.
>She slowly lowers herself onto you.
>Your dick is practically a Jew, with all the heat.
>League adjusts herself and bites her lip.
>She's horribly tight, and crazy wet.
>It's like Seaworld in here.
>She fights through the pain of just taking you in and slowly continues her descent.
>You're about to warn her about the length she's taking-
>But she takes it all.
>ALL.
>It's amazing, to say the least.
>She's closing her eyes and grunting.
>"I-it's so much..."
"Well, you didn't have to take ALL of it."
>She looks at you.
>"I WANTED to."
>Whoa.
>Harder. Than. Diamonds.
>She finally adjusts herself again and pulls up.
>"Ooh~"
>Halfway up, she lowers herself again.
>Her front hooves are practically digging into your chest.
>She slowly gains speed, but is still pretty slow.
>Women on Earth could never compare to this.
>Well, not that you'd know really, but still.
>She finally starts going up further.
>You help out with some light thrusting.
>Your heart is practically racing with excitement.
>"Mmf~"
>You feel a slight tingle downstairs.
>League picks more speed up.
>Her eyes are shut while she continues.
>Her hair flies with every thrust.
>You notice her breath quickening slightly.
>"H-ah~"
>You thrust a bit faster.
>You synchronize with her movements, meeting in the middle for a small squishing sound.
>"Mmm, Anon~"
>You place your hands on her flanks.
>You feel them while you thrust.
>"A-Anon..."
>She winks against you.
>You feel yourself getting closer.
>You hold her flanks firmly while the primal side kicks in.
>Your movements grow faster.
>"H-harder~"
>You push down while you both meet, making an even louder noise.
>"Y-yes~
"You like that?"
>She quickly nods, panting louder.
>"Oh Anon~"
>She practically slams against you with her thrusts.
>She's biting her lip.
>You feel yourself getting closer again.
>"Ah~"

>Your lower half is practically drenched.
>Every movement creates a wet, sloppy sound.
>You're gliding in and out.
>"P-please, f-faster, Anon!"
>You respond by doing just that.
>She's taking everything like a champ.
>She keeps clamping herself on you every so often and pausing.
>Her tongue lolls out while she stares at you with a blissful, half lidded look.
>She's moaning constantly, trying to catch her breath between them.
>"Oooh my gooosh..."
>She slows down while her walls continue to tighten and slightly relax.
>Eventually she just stops thrusting and lies on your chest, lightly drooling while she continues to pant.
>She squeaks for a split second.
>You just continue thrusting into her, watching her hair fall over her face cutely.
>"I-I love you Anon~"
"Y-you too."
>Your mind is too clouded for a proper response.
>League just continues letting you use her, enjoying every second of it.
>The sheets are drenched.
>You both are sweating.
>You watch her plot bobbing up and down, completely under your control.
>You squeeze her flanks tighter.
>Closer.
>League is beyond words.
>Closer.
"L-League, I-"
>"Inside, Anon."
"B-bu-"
>"Inside!"
>You feel yourself quickly nearing the point of no return.
>You tighten your grip.
>Her back hooves clutch your sides.
>Everything becomes completely tight.
>You still glide perfectly.
"L-League~"
>"A-Anon!~"
>She stares right into your eyes.
>You return the gesture.
>You pull her into a deep kiss and continue thrusting.
>Both of you are panting at this point.
>CLOSER!
>You finally let go inside of her while you kiss.
>You continue your thrusts.
>Your hands move from her flanks to her head, trying fruitlessly to pull her closer to you.
>She wraps her hooves around you.
>You start slowing down.
>You stay inside of her while you kiss.
>Finally, you reluctantly break away.
>She has tears in her eyes.
>"I love you, Anon."
"I love you, too, Lilly."
>She smiles and brings you in for a crushing hug.
>...
>If only you didn't have three days...

>You continue lying with League, hugging and still inside of her.
>Under different circumstances, you'd just keep doing League until you passed out from exhaustion.
>But you couldn't afford to sleep.
>Those hours were now extremely precious to you and your very short life.
>Plus, the huge fucking puddle from fucking was ruining your suit.
>You give League one last kiss and lie her down on the bed to sleep.
>You didn't even know how many times she came during that, but it was definitely a lot.
>She was out like a light with a smile on her face.
>You gently removed the sheets and balled them up for washing.
>You walk out of the room and head downstairs to ye ol washing machine.
>Washing machines apparently weren't very common in this place, and were expensive as dicks.
>Yet you hardly used it.
>Pretty much like everything expensive you've gotten.
>But whatever.
>You never really used it because you practically had an unlimited number of suits.
>You had suits for days.
>Literally.
>You're wearing Tuesday right now.
>You toss the sheets in there and notice something coming from the kitchen.
>Sobbing.
>Only one pony that can be.
>You walk over.
>Lyra is crying, clutching and eating a tub of ice cream.
>She's staring at a picture.
>It's of you and her, that one time she tried tricking you into thinking you married her and lost your memory of it.
>In the picture, you're wearing a groom's outfit with a confused look.
>Of course, the outfit was just what you're wearing now.
>Wearing suits all the time comes in handy.
>She's wearing a nice looking wedding dress with the biggest smile on her face.
>Compared to how she looked at the moment, you'd think she'd be an entirely different pony.
>You walk up to her and smile.
>She doesn't even notice.
"Still can't believe you tricked me into that shit."
>Her eyes snap to you, and in a second, the picture is gone.
>She fakes a smile.
>"Oh hey Anon, what's up?"
>You see right through it.
>You give the 'ol eyebrow raise.

>Lyra maintains her smile for a moment.
>Then it quickly crumbles.
>She starts crying again and jumps onto you.
>"I don't want you to die, Anon! I don't want you to die!!!"
>You catch her, and she quickly covers your shoulder in tears.
>"...Y-you've never known how much you m-mean to me, Anon... P-ponies don't like me, they all just th-think I'm a weirdo; a freak..."
>She sniffs.
>"...Y-you're the only one who's ever tolerated me..."
"Well, what about Bon Bon? Weren't you both good friends?"
>"I-I thought we were... Even though she t-told me it was genuine, I found out it was all a lie... Nothing but a c-coverup..."
>She breaks out into tears again.
>Honestly, seeing Lyra crying over you dying was loads more sad than actually dying.
>Her and League to you were practically what she just explained you were to her.
>The ponies here really didn't give a shit about you.
>They only tolerated you because of Celestia being involved.
>These girls were the only ones who really talked to you regularly, and always came back.
>...Of course, there was also Twilight, but she only did so because Celestia asked her to.
>And for researching shit.
>And of course you only gave her wrong facts about Earth.
>"I-I don't know how I-I'll go on without you..."
>Damn this was crushing you.
"You'll be just fine without me, Lyra."
>She shakes her head and cries even harder.
>You kneel and set her down before you, keeping a hand on her cheek.
"Lyra, I'm only one person, I'm nobody special. You, on the other hand..."
>You scratch behind her ears.
"You're a breathtakingly beautiful young mare, with an amazing musical talent."
>She manages a small smile through her tears.
"And who cares if you're weird? I definitely wouldn't want some stupid boring pony to spend time with, and the only ponies who would look down on you would be the ones that are jealous of how fun you are."

>Lyra softly giggles.
>You pull her back in for a hug.
"And when I say these things, don't think I'm just pulling them out of my ass. Compliments from me are only given to those who are worthy."
>She smiles.
>"That means a lot coming from you, Anon..."
>She sighs.
>"I'm not beautiful, though... I barely have any talent... I'm not..."
>You shush her.
"If you had no talent, you'd have no Cutie Mark. And as for not being beautiful..."
>You take a moment to look at her.
>You brush a small lock of her mane from her face, getting a better view of her golden yellow eyes looking into yours.
"You must not be seeing the same pony as me."
>You gently kiss her on the cheek.
>Her face grows red.
>Her smile slowly returns.
>"I wish there were more ponies like you, Anon..."
>She goes for it and kisses you on the lips.
>You're taken back, but pleasantly surprised.
>You embrace her while you both melt into each other.
>Once again, this never felt this good back on Earth.
>On Earth it practically meant nothing.
>Here, sitting on the floor with an amazing mare in your arms...
>It felt like the world to you.
>The action didn't express as greatly as you felt about her.
>Lyra apparently thought the same thing.
>She breaks the kiss and stares into your eyes.
>"I want you, Anon... No jokes, no teasing... I-I want you..."
>You grin.
"Read my mind, Lyra..."
>Her whole expression lifts itself.
>This time, her intentions definitely seemed different to you.
>This wasn't just about getting hot monkey dick now.
>It was now purely about love.
>An actual connection.
>And you couldn't be happier about it.
>She leads you over to the couch and lies down on her back, presenting her also red, puffy pony parts to you.
>"Make me your mare, Anon..."
>Will do.

>You lean over and bring her into a kiss.
>You just enjoy being so close to her, the thought of embracing one another.
>You feel your pants being taken off.
>You open your eyes a bit.
>Magic.
>Eager now, aren't we?
>She takes everything off and brings you onto the couch with her.
>"J-just be careful, alright? First time..."
>Wait, what?
>Seriously?
>How did-
>"I was waiting for you to be my first..."
>-Of course.
>Not that you were really complaining, but damn, that takes dedication.
>And both League AND her were waiting for you...
>...That's... kind of weird, honestly.
>You look at the blushing, smiling pony before you.
>Eh, fuck it, fuck it all.
>It's flattering as shit they waited for you.
>But... also kind of sad.
>You MADE them wait.
>To think, you could've woken up to this everyday for YEARS.
>Dammit Anon, you're so stupid.
>You mentally groan and nod at Lyra.
>You bring her hand to her goods and-
>"Nu-uh."
>She's holding your hand still with her magic.
>"I waited too long for this. Just put it in, already."
>No foreplay then, huh?
>Shit, alright, then.
>You hold your dick out like a space shuttle.
>Prepare for landing.
>Whooooooooosh!
>Psheeeeeeww-
>Lyra wraps herself around you and shoves you into her.
>"Nevermind what I said- screw being careful! J-just do me!!"
>Jesus Christ, she's crazy for this....
>That's fucking hot.
"Yes ma'am!"
>You don't even start at a slow pace.
>She's already wet as all fucking hell.
>And tight.
>Best way to put it would be...
>...An engine piston?
>Fuck, you don't know.
>She's hot, clamping on and heating up your dick, and is excited enough to make it the most enjoyable fucking thing ever.
>You can't even begin to describe the shit.
>But it makes you pissed that you never tried it sooner.
>As in, as soon as you fucking saw her.
>You return to the task at hand and start a good pace.
>Lyra bites her lip.

>You plant your hands on her sides and start going to town.
>She's wonderfully soft.
>She stifles a small moan.
>Oh hell no, you're getting those moans, damn it.
>No stifling in THIS house.
>You pick up the pace and start slamming her.
>There's a satisfying wet, clapping sound every time.
>Her hind legs release their grip and begin moving with every thrust.
>"Ooh, sweet Celestia..."
>You bring her in for a kiss and continue.
>Her face is hot enough to rub off onto you.
>She rests her hooves on your shoulders, staring straight into you with an excited, slightly pained look.
>Right, first-timer.
>You're sure going from zero to stretching out like this oughta be a little bit painful the first time.
>You gaze into her beautiful golden eyes with a smile and continue.
>"Mmm~"
>She eagerly pushes herself into you.
>You see strands of juices every time you pull out.
>The inside of her is ridiculously warm.
>She grinds into you.
>Jesus you're already close.
>You reach down and caress her flanks.
>Plush, but firm.
>Beautiful.
>You smack one.
>She yelps, then smiles.
>"A-haaa~"
>You feel her leg twitch.
>You press forward.
>Her tongue lolls out of her mouth.
>She's panting.
>You look down and admire the sight of her marehood while it tries to hold you down.
>It's showing a bit of resistance.
>"Oh, Anon~"
>You grind into her yourself.
>Her fur brushing against you, the sloppy, wet noises you were making, the heat and tightness of her insides, the moaning...
>It was just too much.
"Lyra, I think-"
>"YOU BETTER DO THAT INSIDE. I WANT YOUR FOALS, DAMMIT."
>Sweet Jesu-
>-YEP, there it goes.
>Before you're able to relax, she flips around and puts Anon Jr. through another door.
>A very small, round, minty door, to be exact.
>"I've ALWAYS wanted to try this~"
>Round 2?
>Cool.

>She doesn't let you ease into it.
>She shoves you into her ponut.
>Pretty damn hard.
>She gasps and stops, hind legs quivering.
>Your dick feels like it's being choked.
>You're pretty sure she's cutting off your blood flow.
>You slowly try to ease out.
>She magics you back in.
>"NO, YOU'RE GOING TO DO ME! GET THRUSTING!"
>You slowly start to do so.
>She is ungodly amounts of tight.
>Like, uncomfortable amounts.
>It's practically hell in here with all the heat.
>You don't understand why ANYONE would like this over-
>Your eyes trail to her glorious flanks.
>Oh.
>That's how.
>You squeeze them, enjoying the little squeak you get in response.
>You pick up the pace.
>"Mmf! This, thi-"
>Another squeeze.
>She yelps.
>You pull out slowly, then smash in continuously.
>You reach one hand lower and start rubbing her minty goodness.
>You'd be willing to bet that she actually has a minty taste to her, too.
>You insert two fingers and start exploring.
>"Mmm, Anon, you really know how to show a mare a good time..."
>You pull off one massive thrust into her.
>Her entire body moves.
"Damn right I do."
>You move your fingers in and rub the top of her-
>She crushes your fingers.
>Yeah, that was the spot.
>You reach your middle finger and rub the spot.
>"Ooh, right there, Anon, right there."
>She reaches a hoof over and gently rubs herself.
>She shakes and moans before relaxing,
>You keep rubbing and thrusting into her.
>It's not as tight as it was earlier.
>Still very rewarding, though.

>Then you get that very small, familiar feeling again.
>Almost time.
>You put all your hands on deck and grab her rump.
>At this point, Lyra's just propped up on her hind hooves and spent.
>No matter.
>You feel her nice, very pillowy flanks and squeeze them one more time, before continuing to thrust into her.
>You feel that urge coming back while you continue to bring her back into you with your hands.
>Yup, here it comes.
>"A-An..."
>She's beyond words.
>You open the floodgates and squeeze them on you one last time.
>Though... it doesn't HAVE to be the last time.
>"That... that was-"
"Not done yet, missy."
>You flip her again and hold her on top of you.
>Like putty in your hands, you pull outside and go right back into her marehood.
>She slowly grinds against you.
>"Celestia, I love you so much, Anon. I love everything about you."
"I love you too, Lyra. I wish I'd of just found that out sooner."
>She manages a lazy, toothy smile.
>You plunge into her again.
>She's wet and still eager for you.
>You manage a good position, propping your legs up in one that looks like you're ready to pass a kid.
>Kid...
>Was Lyra being serious when she mentioned the foals?
>You shake the thought and push her tail between your legs before starting for round 3.
>You went at a slow and sensual pace.
>Lyra seemed too tired for more fast stuff.
>"H-how are you able to keep going like this?"
>You smile.
"My record is only six orgasms, Lyra."
>And a horrible headache afterwards.
>Her ears perk up, and her face burns brighter.
>"S-six?! B-but stallions, I h-heard that they just last less than a minute..."
"Well, I remember hearing these stories of my ancestors following animals around until they just, died, so you can imagine how long I can actually go for."
>"I think I'm starting to see that."
>You smile and realize you were having the start of a regular conversation while casually screwing.
>You kind of forgot you were inside of her, actually.
>You focus on the tight, pink task at hand and keep on.

>You smile.
>From the slow pace, you were actually able to admire the mare on top of you.
>You brush a few stray locks of her messy mane from her face.
>Her bright, golden eyes, her silky fur, her wonderful smiles...
>You were going to miss it.
>A lot.
"You really are the prettiest mare I've ever seen."
>She smiles back.
>"You're just saying that..."
>You shake your head.
"I'm no LYRE, Lyra."
>She rolls her eyes and giggles.
>"That was a really bad pun, Anon."
"It's also true. Just wish I would've told you that so much sooner."
>SO much sooner...
>You shake the thought from your mind and focus on her brilliant smile.
>You pick up the pace of your thrusting and rest your hands on her flanks once more.
>They just felt so amazing.
>Sleeping on them would probably be extremely comfortable.
>Lyra's tongue lolls out again.
>It's adorable.
>She tightens up and pants.
>You feel her come again.
>The feeling of her goods brushing against yours was awesome.
>The warm feeling, the juices, that schlucking sound, her panting.
>It was hard not to love every second of this.
>You pick up the speed again, making sure to go in as deep as you can every single thrust in.
>"Yes, Anon, k-keep going, please."
>You slap against her folds happily.
>It was hard to believe how close you were already to finishing again.
>Her panting gets heavier.
>"Mmm, ha-Anon, I-I love y-you!"
>You clutch her rump and start drilling into her.
>"A-ANON!"
>The sloshing noise gets louder.
>"MMM, I LOVE YOU, ANON!"
>The pressure's building up.
>"ANON!!"
>So close.
>"I-I-AH!~"
>You tap out the second she does.
>Your eyes droop as you both flood the place with your excitement.
>She instantly falls on top of you, exhausted to all hell.
>She brings you in for a wet, sloppy kiss before sinking into your embrace.
>"I-I love you, Anon, so so much..."
>You brush her hair away and kiss her muzzle.
"I love you too, Lyra."
>You both fall asleep.

>You open your eyes.
>You immediately notice how weird your apartment looks.
>Also why your apartment seems like such a distant memory, despite you being in it for like, 5 years.
>Weird.
>You look down and see a minty green unicorn and a smaller pony thing wearing a hat that has your name on it.
>Your pants are off.
"WHAT THE FUUUUCK."
>The unicorn one stirs awake and smiles at you.
>"Hey, Anon. Sleep well?"
>WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS GOING ON HERE WHY DID THAT UNICORN TALK WHY IS THERE A UNICORN HERE WHERE ARE YOU THIS SHIT IS FUCKING FREAKY-
"Y-yeah, I'm good, thanks for asking."
>She leans over and kisses you.
>No cheek things, either.
>Despite tasting like a very fine mint, you were disgusted.
>Did a fucking UNICORN just kiss you?!
>A TALKING unicorn?!
>You look at the spot it was just in.
>There's dried-...
>Don't fucking tell me.
>YOU FUCKED A FUCKING TALKING UNICORN.
>Jesus, how the hell did you get here?
>And WHY are you here?-
>"Oh, good morning, Anon!"
>You turn to the orange, blue haired not-unicorn.
>She's getting awfully close to Anon Jr.
>"You um, want me to, wake you up?"
>She blushes and pokes your dick with a smile.
"NO- no, no, I'm good, I think I'm awake."
>She shrugs and hops off the couch.
>"Alrighty! Well, I'm here if you ever want to..."
>She leans into your ear.
>"-Use me again."
>She giggles and walks away, holding her tail to the side for you to see her... parts.
>-WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE DID SHE SAY 'AGAIN'?!
>YOU FUCKED A UNICORN AND A SMALL PONY.
>WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS GOING ON.
>You walk over to what you assume is the front door and look through the windows beside it.
>Ponies EVERYWHERE.
>And they're all living in houses pulled together with bricks and hay or some shit.
>What the hell HAPPENED yesterday?
>Did...
>No, you can't even REMEMBER yesterday.
>Fuck.
>Well now what do you fucking do?
>You notice lots of ponies looking and blushing while they pass by your window.
>Oh fuck.
>Well maybe you should put pants on first.

>After putting pants on, you sit back down on the couch, trying to ignore the dry jizz and juices on it.
>You survey the house.
>Is this house yours?
>You look down at the coffee table and pick up the book on it.
>Some book about plants.
>You flip to the bookmarked page and stare at it.
>You see a blue plant...
>And... words?
>Must... must be another language or some shit.
>You stare at the first line.
>'Known as one of the most mysterious-...'
>You can't finish the sentence.
>What the hell is wrong with this book?
>You close it and throw it on the table.
>"Breakfast is ready!"
>What?
>You shake yourself and follow the voice to a dining room.
>Eggs and hash browns, bacon for you.
>Neat.
>You sit down and smile at the minty unicorn.
"Looks great."
>"Oh, thanks, Anon."
>The two get to eating, and you grab a fork.
>You stare at it.
>...For some reason, you're not completely sure what to do with it.
>The little one looks at you while you're trying to pick the egg up with your spoon.
>"Anon, why are you using your fork so weird?"
"Huh?"
>...Did you say or do something wrong?
>They're both looking at you.
"Uh, no?"
>Okay, that didn't do the trick.
>"Is, is something wrong, Anon?"
>The little one seems a bit scared.
"No, no, I'm fine. Just thinking."
>"Oh. About what?"
"Umm, what day it is?"
>It honestly would be good to know.
>"It's Wednesday."
>You nod.
"Just, just making sure."
>God, what is going ON today?
>Everything just feels... foreign, for some reason.
>You look up and realize that the two are done.
>What the hell?
>How did they eat so fast?
>"Anon, you didn't even touch your food... Is, is something wrong with it?"
>Damn, she looks sad.
>You shake your head.
"Thinking again!"
>The two share a look.
>A concerned look.
>"Are you sure everything's alright?"
"What day is it?"
>"...Wednesday?"
>Good to know.
>"Anon."
"Huh?"
>You look up at the unicorn.
>"Are you feeling alright?"
>You nod.
"Must be... allergies."
>The two share a look.
>A concerned look.

>You're not right, somehow.
>You don't feel that well.
>At all.
>Something's going on in your head, and you don't like it.
>Then again, you were imagining a unicorn and a small pony eating breakfast with you.
>You look at the table.
>No plates.
>So you WERE hallucinating or something.
>You quickly scarf down the food and leave the table.
>You have to go see someone.
>Try a neurologist or something.
>You look around the counters, but can't find your car keys.
>Fuck, where'd you leave them?
>You start tearing through drawers.
>Nothing.
>"What are you looking for, Anon?"
>You look to your side and see the unicorn.
>Okay, that was obviously just a regular person.
>You're obviously hallucinating the unicorn part.
"Looking for my car keys. I think I need to see a doctor."
>"A doctor? W-why?"
>You smile.
"Man, I just, I don't know if I'm tripping, but right now I'm imagining you as a UNICORN. So yeah, I think I need to see a doctor."
>She stops everything and looks at you.
>"I..."
>Her eyes look a bit watery.
>"I AM a unicorn..."
>You pause.
>She looks like she's going to cry.
>Alright, just play it off, then.
>You'll have to figure this out yourself.
>You'll get fired for sure if your boss finds out you're seeing unicorns.
"Yeah, I know. I'm just seeing you a... different color, for some reason. Dark grey stuff, really weird. I think I need my eyes checked."
>She just slowly nods.
>"Th-that's it?"
>You nod.
"I've had problems seeing colors before, but today it's just worse."
>She just nods and sighs.
>Like she'd been holding her breath or something.
>Okay, good, you managed to get out of that.
"Look, I'm gonna go get some groceries. Thinking of getting some fruit or something."
>Her ears perk up.
>"Can League and I come?"
>Fuck.
>Who the hell WILLINGLY goes with someone to buy groceries?!
>It's like, the worst shit ever!
"Actually, I was hoping I could make it a surprise. Get some weird fruits in here. You guys can just relax here."

>Her ears fall.
>"O-oh. Okay..."
"I'll bring something good back, promise."
>She smiles.
>You look through the drawer one more time.
>No car keys.
>Looks like you're walking, then.
>Then again, it's probably best.
>You watch the unicorn walking up some stairs and grab a hat before walking outside.
>Have to find a doctor.
>
>Where ARE you?
>And why the hell does everyone know your name?!
>You look to the sky.
>It looks like it's mid-day now.
>You weren't outside for that long, though.
>You lightly tap a walking pony.
>She turns to you with a smile.
>"Yes?"
"Can you..."
>Ah, what's the word?
>Hmm...
>"Uh, Anon?"
"-show me the way to a neu-"
>...new- nur-
>What's the word?!
"-the guy that studies heads and stuff. You know, a brain doctor guy."
>"...A neurologist?"
>You nod.
>THAT was the damn word.

>"I happen to be one, actually, but I'm not working at the moment. What seems to be the problem?"
>You look around for a moment, then turn to the pony.
"Okay, look, I know I'm really messed up or something up here. I- I can't read well, I can't remember anything, it's hard to speak... It's almost as if I have..."
>...No.
>There's no way.
>Look at how young you are!
>There's no possible way that you can...
>"...Anon?"
>You shake your head and start backing away from the pony.
>"Anon? What's wrong?"
"No, no no, I have to go!"
>You start running away.
>"Anon! WAIT!"
>How would it even be possible?
>There's no way.
>Wait, where are you?
>Where's the house?
>Why is all of this happening?!
>You spot a little pile of hay on the floor.
>You're not finding your house.
>Might as well rest here, then.
>
>It looks like it's night already.
>Time's flying by.
>You see two ponies running over to you.
>They're talking to you.
>You just want to sleep.
>"Anon, Anon, what's wrong?!"
>"W-what's going on?"
>You can't understand what they're saying.
>You can't think clearly.
>"ANON! ANON, TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!!"
>You can't respond.
>You don't know HOW to respond.
>You stare.
>"LEAGUE, WE NEED TO TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL!"
>You get picked up.
>Perfect time to sleep.
>
>Crying.
>League and Lyra are beside you on the hospital bed.
>The Elements of Harmony rushed over the minute they heard.
>Twilight slowly walks up to you.
>"Tw-Twilight, can't you do something to help him?"
>She slowly shakes her head.
>"With this, I-I can't-"
>"YOU'RE A PRINCESS! YOU HAVE TO TRY!!"
>"Lyra, I ca-"
>"PLEASE, JUST FIX HIM! PLEASE!!"
>League doesn't speak, meanwhile.
>After all, the feeling of loss wasn't that new to her.
>She just stares at you lying in bed, dried tears in her eyes.
>"PLEASE, TWILIGHT!!"
>Lyra's reduced to a crumbling mess on the floor.
>The five try to console her.
>"P-please... I-I love him..."

>
>You sigh.
>You remembered that day like it was yesterday.
>Despite everypony knowing about it, nopony saw it coming...
>You take the party hat off of your head and continue brushing the black hair of the filly in your arms.
>"Mommy?"
"Yes, dear?"
>"How did you know that cookies and cream was my favorite flavor?"
>She licks her lips clean of the birthday cake you got for her.
>You manage a small smile.
"It was your daddy's favorite."
>Your eyes trail over to the framed photo of you and him in that fake wedding stunt.
>His confused look makes you giggle.
>"Was he a nice stallion?"
>You look down at the filly.
>Her beautiful green eyes gleaming with curiosity.
>Just like Anon.
>You were glad Twilight at least helped in SOME way, that day.
>The result was the adorable ball of energy next to you.
>It was almost like having him around the house again.
>...Almost.
"He was the nicest stallion I ever met... He paid attention to me when nopony else did..."
>"Can you tell me another story about him?"
"Of course, sweetie. What do you want to hear about?"
>She points towards the framed photo.
>"Tell me about that!"
"Didn't Auntie League already tell you?"
>"Yeah, but I want to hear how you did it!"
>You fake a sigh and stare at the photo.
>The filly's looking up at you in anticipation.
>You kiss her on the forehead and recall that day.
"Okay, fine."
>She squees.
"So that was on a Monday. During breakfast, I had the random idea to-"
>You stared at the photo while you talked.
>You remembered the first day you met him.
>The day you developed feelings for him.
>The day you NOTICED said feelings.
>His laugh.
>His stupid smile.
>...How he made you feel like the most important thing in his life.
>You pause.
>You feel yourself tear up.
>A single, joyful tear rolls down your cheek.
"I love you, Anon."
>You continue the story, clutching your daughter a little closer to you.