=BiE 5=

>The sun rouses you from the sleep you were so nicely enjoying.
>Stupid sun, always ruining your fun.
>You were enjoying that dream too.
>You think.
>You roll out of bed and start your morning routine.
>As you shuffle your way to the kitchen, you notice that Anon and Rainbow are still passed out on the couch.
>Looks like they kept going a few hours after you turned in.
>You examine the myriad of bottles around their bodies.
>Looks like the went through the last of your booze too.
>Inside the kitchen you begin the task of finding any food from Earth that didn't go bad in the night you didn't have power.
>Considering the food you normally kept, you had options.
>You settle on some cereal as you try to plan your day.
>brain.exe cannot run, would you like to reboot? Y/N.
>[N].
 >You were never any good in the morning.

>Shower comes after breakfast in the morning so you strip down and step in.
>Twilight did a great job with whatever magic she had going to keep your plumbing working.
>This water was the perfect temperature.
>The warm shower gets your blood pumping, allowing you to think more than a minute ahead.
>First order of business was finding work, fifty bits wasn't going to tide you over long. 
>Especially if drinking with Rainbow Dash was going to be a regular thing.
>You step out of the shower and find quite possibly the only plain shirt you own.
>You glance at the clock; 9:30.
>Assuming that Equestria has 24 hour days, the business day has already started.
>Better get crackin'

>You step out your door and make way for town.
>Town was quite a distance away, about 3/4's of a mile if your admittedly shit internal GPS is right.
>As you step in to town, you notice that there aren't as many ponies staring at you.
>A few here and there, but the majority of the town seem to just be ignoring you.
>You figure that they either stopped caring, or assumed that the two weird ape creatures would be coming through more often.
>Either way it was nice, to not be gawked at.
>You find a town hall-ish looking building and look for a communal sign or something similar.
>Help wanted signs were always posted next to town hall.
>Right?

>Wrong, not a single help wanted sign near town hall.
>"Oh fuck me."
>Okay, plan B.
>Hit the streets.
>As you wonder around town, you see several potential places you could work.
>You start going through a mental checklist to figure out the best.
>You don't know much about cooking something that is more in depth than "boil the water", so Sugarcube Corner is out.
>You see an orchard or something over the hills that would be sure to need more farmhands, but one look at your spindly arms tells you that you probably wouldn't hit that out of the park.
>You have also zero interest in either quills or sofas.
>What in the hell did those even have to do with each other?
>You look at the clock and see that it is already past 10.
>Fuck. You were running short on both time and options.

>In the middle of your episode, you heard a pair of familiar voices. 
>You glance down the road and see Fluttershy and Rarity approaching.
>Rarity seemed to see you too.
>"Why hello there Mous, how lovely to see you."
>"H-hello Mous." muttered Fluttershy.
>Was this how she normally talks?
>Girl needs to speak up.
>"Hey girls."
>No time for friends, busy getting mad at lack of work.
>"What are you doing in town today Mous?" Rarity again.
>It would be easy to ignore them, but now wasn't the time to alienate people.
>You give them both a glance, they demanding more of your attention now.
>"Looking for work. Anon and I are going to need a steady income if we're gonna stay here."
>You look them over, their coats look shinier and both their manes look like they'd been gone over recently.
>"What are you two doing here?"
>Fluttershy gave you a smile.
>Daaaaaw-no. Still annoyed at the lack of work. No time for cute.
>"Oh we just got back from our spa treatment, we go every week to relax."
>These ponies had a spa?
>Wait.
>Spa.
>Spa's have masseurs. 
>You remember that of the eight people who allowed you to touch them back on Earth, at least five commented on how good of a backrub you gave.
>Considering that only one was related to you, that's a 50% chance you give a good backrub.
>Hell, that's 50% more ability than you had in anything else.
>You turn your attention back to your friends.
>"Where is the spa?" you ask.
>Rarity looks behind her.
>"Down that road and left at the first corner, you can't miss it."
>She turns back to you but you're already gone.
>"Thanks girls." you call back behind you.

>The spa looked simple enough on the outside.
>A few plants, glass door. All the better to relax someone.
>You step inside.
>It smells like incense in here, it would be relaxing at another time.
>The front desk is empty save for a bell. You drop a hand on it to call for someone.
>From the back walk two earth ponies, one with a blue coat and pink mane and the other with a blue mane and pink coat.
>Twins than.
>"Hello? Can we help you?"
>What kind of accent was that?
It sounded Slavic.
>You remember that Slavic kid from school.
By the Force, he was a douche.
>Getting distracted, back on task mister.
>Okay you have to be nice, use your words and remember to-
>"I'd like to be a masseur here."
>Fucking. Shit.

>The pink one giggles.
>She and her sister walk up to the counter.
>"You want to work here? Perhaps we should start with your name."
>Fair enough.
>"I'm Mous." 
>"Hello Mous, I am Aloe and this is Lotus." she says with a grin.
>Aloe: Pink
>Lotus: Blue.
>Remember that now.
>Now Lotus speaks up.
>"So, what makes you think you can work here?"
>Not letting you fuck this up this time brain.
>Gotta think this through.
>...
>Shit.
>Saying you give good backrubs is a garbage reason.
>Thinkthinkthinkthink.
>Wait.
>You're an alien.
>You have digits.

>"These."
>You hold up your hands.
>"Yes, you have hands. So?"
>Lotus was clearly not one to be easily impressed.
>"Just that. I have hands that end in fingers. Fingers that can spread out pressure much differently than hooves."
>She steps out from behind the counter towards you.
>"And different is good?"
>Think fast.
>"Different is great."
>"Especially for all the different kinds of pain one comes to a spa to get rid of."
>Nice save genius.
>Lotus narrows her eyes and stares at you.
>After a moment, she turns around.
>"Massage my neck."
>wat.
>"Excuse me?"
>She looks back at you with those same narrow eyes.
>"This is your entrance exam, impress me and you may have the job."
>You quickly glance at Aloe behind the counter.
>She looks like she's trying not to laugh as she motions for you to go on.
>Fuck. Okay. You can do this.
>You place your hands just below her ears and start rubbing.
>You try to feel for any obvious knots as you move down.
>If you're doing a good job, Lotus wasn't showing it.
>She stood as still as stone as you worked your way down to the base of her neck.
>After a few minutes she motions for you to stop and walks back to her sister.
>She turns with her eyes still close.
>You can see her eyes darting back and forth under her eyelids.
>Fuck you were so screwed.
>You were going to have to go learn how to cook or somt-
>"You pass."

>Wait what?
>Your face must have betrayed you.
>"You were right, your hands can spread pressure to all the right areas. A little practice and we'll make you a proper masseur." you even get a smile out of her with that.
>Oh hell yes.
>You grow a big grin and pump your fist.
>First big hurdle was jumped, now you just need to-
>"Head back and wash up, it's almost noon."
>It was Lotus again.
>"I start now?"
>Lotus looked as pokerfaced as she did before.
>"Yes. Here in Ponyville, we get an influx of customers round lunch, ponies doing a lunch and spa date, probably."
>Right. Okay. Time to work.
>You start to walk back and Aloe motions for you to follow her.
>She takes you to a small room with a massage bed in the center.
>Various oils and lotions were on the wall.
>You turn your attention to her as she speaks.
>"Your job won't be all massages, we each do a bit of everything here. But we'll start you off with what your comfortable with."
>Okay cool.
>She motions to the oil shelf.
>"You know what to do with those?"
>Not really, but you nod anyway.
>"Great. Welcome to Ponyville Day Spa." she says with a smile.
>On her way out she turns.
>"Your first costumer will be back soon, good luck."
>"Yeah..." you thought as your situation dawned on you.
>"Good luck."