>From Discord’s wonky teleportation, you find yourself in a...um. You were in an grand room, one that you have never seen the likes of in your life. Spanning at least 30 meters, the room was like one giant hallway with a massive set of doors at one end and two large chairs adorned with gold. Hung from the extremely tall ceiling were many banners with a sun and a moon on them.
>The walls of the room were decorated with extraordinary stained glass windows that ran from floor to ceiling. Each one depicting ponies of differing colors and species doing something together, the main recurring ones being a group of six colored ponies – specifically a purple one – and...also what would appear to be Discord. As surprising as that was, it did raise a question: Who the fuck actually is Discord? 
>He was an insane, sly bastard who just couldn't take it when things didn't go his way, you knew that from your previous interaction. But besides that, it occurred to you that you don't actually know what kind of role he plays in this world. He did mention being a “Master of Chaos” or whatever, but what that entailed, you couldn't even guess.
>Looking over the the windows depicting him more carefully, you notice that one is of him controlling three alicorns, as Discord called them, like puppets. In another he was greyed out and two ponies were circling him with their horns glowing, supposedly attacking him. The last one with him in it was basically the same as the second, except it was the six recurring ponies that were glowing. 
>So was Discord some kind of criminal or something? Not that it really mattered to you, he was a jerk either way, you just hoped it wouldn't affect your new life.
 
>Nonetheless the sight of the room amazed you from where you were sitting, which was…
>You very slowly back up as far as you can from the precarious ledge just in front of you. Doing your best to stifle a scream down to a quiet whimper, you lay down, having just enough room that you you can rest your head on the edge of the small inlet you were in, just above the two chairs.
>Of course. Of fucking course he would stick you up away from the nice, safe ground. You were basically at ceiling height! If you had happened to take one step forward, you would have served better as a pancake than a person. But honestly, what should you have expected? You already covered that he was a jerk, so you'll just add that on, you guess.
>After a good while of settling down and boredom, you hear activity from below. Mustering up both your courage and your curiosity, you peak over the edge.
>From a door that you didn't quite notice before, on the wall just to the right of the seats below you, came two identical white ponies wearing golden armor with sapphire blue crests on their helmets, who walked to the base of the seats on either side. Following them, another white pony enters the room and sits on the chair to your left. This one though, unlike the others, was distinctly a female, taller than the others, had some freaky ass bed head, and had both a horn and wings. So this must be one of the princesses. 
>If it wasn't painfully obvious that this was some sort of castle before, it is now. But you were still a bit confused. Wasn't there supposed to be a queen as well as–. You internally cut yourself off, remembering KK’s advice. Just don't fucking question it. 
>It does make sense that she is only taking her throne right now though. According to the light coming in through the windows, the sun was near the horizon, signifying morning. Strange, the world you were in with KK must’ve run on different time or something.
 
>Once the princess is settled comfortably into her seat, a greyish unicorn in a maid’s outfit walks from the side door to the chairs, her horn was glowing with a light pink light and a small dish with a teacup on it floated alongside her, emanating a similar aura as the one around her horn.
>Hmm, well it at least makes a little sense that only unicorns can use magic, now that you've seen it in action.
>The grey pony hands the dish off to the princess, the action only being signified by a change in color around the plate from pink to yellow and a glow on the princess’ horn. As the princess lifts the teacup to her lips and takes a sip, three consecutive knocks on the large door at the other end of the room catch your attention, as well as the princess’.
>The door slowly opens, revealing a rather dapper looking Discord, dressed in a tux and a top hat, completed with a cane and even a monocle. Strolling happily down the hall, Discord speaks.
>”Why, Princess Celestia, it's so kind of you to drop by at such a convenient moment! I really must have a word with you!”
>The princess, or rather Celestia, straightens up in her throne.
>”I don't think I have to let you know that this isn't the best time for you to pay a visit, so what is your purpose of being here?”
>She spoke in a tone with authority, but not so much as to turn you off. While she did sound quite annoyed at his appearance, the stained glass windows elude to Discord possibly having done something in the past to deserve it. 
>That, and he was just a jerk…
>Discord twirls his cane as he approaches the throne.
>”What, your good friend Discord can't come bearing good tidings and have a lovely conversation about such things without an invitation?”
 
>Celestia loses the calm demeanor she had in favor of a rather angry one.
>”Enough fooling around Discord, why are you here? You know very well that I already have limited availability due to the situation between the dragons and the saddle arabians. Between that and dealing with KK’s ridiculous requests, I don't have time for your shenanigans.”
>Besides that little outburst coming out of nowhere, that little comment caught your curiosity. ‘KK’s ridiculous requests’. What could KK possibly want from a princess? A few dozen things instantly pop into your head, but none of them could you imagine KK needing. She's an insane God wizard with a pet snake, there's not much you could get for someone like that. But, you digress.
>Discord slithers up to Celestia like a snake through the air.
>”Celly, didn't you hear me? I'm not here to cause you grief! I'm simply bringing you good news when you're in need of it most!” 
>Moving behind the occupied throne, Discord starts to massage Celestia's shoulders, or whatever the fuck the horse equivalent was.
>”You can't condemn me for that, can you?”
>Celestia sighs and relaxes her body.
>”I suppose you're right Discord, I shouldn't have accused you of anything if you didn't do anything wrong, I'm sorry. What is it that you wanted to share with me?”
>Quickly floating to the ground before the throne, Discord straightens his suit and clears his throat.
>”Well in light of your predicament, I just wanted to let you know that you won't be having any trouble from me from now on.”
>You couldn't quite see her face, but you were pretty sure she was weary of his words.
>”Well...that's good Discord, your cooperation is appreciated.”
>Discord cackles at her remark.
>”Oh, I don't mean that I'm doing it for you! I'm doing it because I'm going to be a bit preoccupied with life, or rather, someone else's.”
 
>Celestia spoke, a slight tinge of anxiety inkling from her words.
>”What exactly are you implying?”
>”What I'm implying my dear Celly, is that I took your advice about becoming a responsible citizen of Equestria, and I've decided to start by helping a poor defenseless foal out of a tough situation.”
>Discord says enthusiastically. 
>You didn't like him, but you'll give it to him, the guy can act.
>”You don't mean…”
>Celestia trails off a worried tone.
>Discord grins happily and looks up to you just for a second. 
>You take that as a signal to get ready, so you do. Alright. Happy, loving, well behaved. Keep that in mind along with what you got from the bird and you should be fine. You sit up and nod to yourself as Discord continues.
>”Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Celestia, I'd like you to meet my new son!”
>Discord snaps his talons, making you appear sitting next to him with a little black bow tie around your neck, cute.
>Looking up, in front of you on a raised throne sat the white princess with her funky ass flowing hair. It wasn't really as bad as what you've seen. The sentinels back on Tetra had their fair share of weird haircuts, but that isn't what stuck out about her. What did, was her overall appearance. She slouched in her throne, there were slight bags under her eyes, and her crown was slightly crooked. All things that you couldn't see from your angle before.
>You sit up straight, and prepare to speak. 
>Here we go.
 
>You slap on the happiest smile you could.
>”Hi, my name’s Anon, it's great to meet you Princess!”
>You give her a little wave of your hoof to accentuate your introduction.
>That better pass as a happy little introduction in this world, because you don't think you could've done any better than that.
>Celestia just stares straight ahead into a void of her own, not even heeding your greeting. Did you say something wrong? You give her another wave of your hoof to try to get her attention.
“Um, Princess?”
>At that, Celestia snaps out of her little coma, quickly shaking her head and putting on a nervous smile.
>”Oh, I'm sorry! How rude of me!” She clears her throat and sits up a bit “Greetings Anon, I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
>She spoke with faltering calmness in her voice.
>Hmm. Well, it was a bit too formal for you, but she was a princess, what should you expect? Also, you already kind of liked her. It wasn't because of anything she said or did really, it was more like her presence was very positive, even in her disheveled state. Very strange.
>”I'm very sorry Anon, but would you mind if I had a word with your...father, for just a moment? I'd like to discuss something very important with him.”
“Well, I gue–”
>Before you can respond, Discord answers for you.
>”Why, of course. That'll be no trouble at all. Anon, could you go wait outside in the hall for a moment? I'll bring you back in when we're done.”
>He gives you a pat on the head with his paw.
>You very badly wanted to pull away and complain how he interrupted you, but then you remembered your three wishes. Dammit.
 
>Faking a smile, you give Discord a nod and turn to leave the room. As your walking back, you hear Celestia start up about asking Discord to do something in the past, but you don't really pay it any mind. Your focus was pinned on what Celestia said about some kind of situation between two groups, one being the “dragons”.
>Whether that meant a different species or just a different group called the dragons, it seemed like it was causing her some pretty serious stress. That and KK’s requests, whatever those may be. The other thing that caught your attention was her being a “co-ruler”. That meant that there must be a prince or something along with her, right? If that's the case, it seems like the roles might be reversed of how the humans used to do it with kings and queens, with the females being the dominant gender in this world.
>Putting that aside, you reach the large, open doorway. Stepping outside, immediately to your left and right, there are two guards with the exact same attire as the others back in the room. Before you stretched a long, narrow corridor with numerous halls on either side of it and, yet again, a large door at the end.
>As you step out the guards spare a mere glance at you before quickly returning their gaze to straight ahead. They must've figured that you're not particularly what would be described as a threat. Good. You'd rather not deal with any authority at all, if possible.
>Listening closely, you could still hear Discord and the princess arguing in the other room. Sounds like things were starting to get a little heated. Well, your original plan was to go out and explore a bit, but maybe you should stay and listen to them instead. You might get some information out of it.
>...
>Yeah, you should probably listen in.
 
>Going just around the corner of the door, you lay against the wall, as to remain out of sight. Now that you're here, you don't really understand why they would send you here in the first place. You could hear perfectly fine from this distance. Maybe they just didn't have as good hearing as you. For now that didn't matter too much. You should just focus on their words.
>”...that's not what I'm saying Discord, it's just that–” Celestia's somber tone was interrupted by an irate Discord.
>”It's just that you don't trust me, yes, you've made that very clear. And to think, I've been behaving myself so well in the hopes that you'd at least try to understand, but it seems that I was a fool for thinking such a thing was possible.”
>Celestia slowly lets out a sigh.
>”Discord, I'm sorry for my reluctance on the subject, but I just want to make sure that that colt is going to be safe and happy. You know how you can get sometimes.”
>An audible huff can be heard.
>”Yes Celestia, and so does Fluttershy, but she still finds it somewhere in her heart to trust me enough to let me be around all of her small, delicate animals, so why can't you trust me with one child after I've proved that I can?”
>”...”
>”.....I see. Well, I'm really not sure what else I expected from you.”
>With a snap, your appear back in the room, next to Discord. In front of you sat a Celestia with her head down. Discord continues on in disappointment.
>”Come on Anon. It would appear that what I originally came here for is long gone, so we'll be on our way now. We still have a few more important stops today, and I don't want to be late. Farewell Celestia.”
>Looking up slightly, she gives you a weak smile.
>”Goodbye Discord. And Anon, I hope you have a good life in Equestria.”
>You just grin and wave as Discord taps his cane on the ground, sending the both of you away in a dim flash of light.
 
>You reappear back in Discord’s fucked up living room, landing on one of the wall chairs. Discord pops into existence in the middle of the room, floating in mid air with a happy ass grin on his face, no longer in his suit.
>”Oh ho ho! Did you see her face? All of the chaos that is probably brewing through her head right now, oh, it makes me envy her!”
>Slithering up to you, he pinches your cheeks.
>”And you...well, you could do with some acting classes. But me, oh, I believe that may have been one of my best performances – my piece de resistance!”
>You pull away from him. 
”Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. So, what exactly was the point of that little visit anyways?”
>Discord moves back some and crosses his arms, giving you a deadpan-like stare. He puffs smoke from his nostrils loudly.
>”Hmph. I should have guessed that someone such as yourself wouldn't be able to understand the complex intricacies of a little chaotic fun. Fine. If I must explain, it was simply a small act of vengeance for something that happened a while back. I thought that you may have been able to work that out by the windows in the castle, but it seems that I put too much faith in the youth of today.”
>Um, excuse him?
>You go to protest him, but your mouth is plugged with something. [spoiler] Not in that way [/spoiler]
>Looking down, you find that there was a pacifier in your mouth as well as a bib around your neck.
>Discord cackles at his own hijinks.
>You spit out the pacifier and rip the bib off.
“Hey, I know how to have fun! I just don't see why you would risk getting into trouble with a princess to get a laugh.”
>In all honesty, you didn't really get a bad vibe off of the princess, so it looked like he was just tormenting a good person to you. That, and you know from experience that it's stupid as fuck to mess with higher ups if you don't have to.
 
>Discord scoffs at your statement.
>”Oh please! That mess of royalty won't do anything even if I made it clear as day that I was purposely making a fool of her, and even then I'm still far more powerful than she'll ever be, so why not?”
>Ugh. Whatever. You're not gonna argue with this guy right now. It would get you nowhere and you didn't really feel like putting up with anymore of his attitude, so instead you just sigh irritatedly.
“Never mind. Just…what next? I doubt you only came up with one plan, with how happy you were acting about it and all.”
>You really just wanted to get this shit over with.
>Discord cocks an eyebrow at you slightly.
>”Hmm, an astute observation. Yes we do have other trips to make, but out next one won't be for some time.”
>He poofs the same watch from before onto his wrist, before poofing it away once again.
>”So you'll have some time to do what you wish.”
>Well, seems you've got time to blow, might as well make use of it.
 
>Hopping off of the wall chair to the floor, you go to your door between the two chairs and push it open.
>Instead of an open field this time however, was a normal bedroom. The walls, ceiling, floor and size were identical to that of the living room, the only difference being the different decor. In the center of the floor was a circular rug, comprised of dark purples and reds that slowly shifted about, very similarly to the walls. Sat against the left wall was a dark wooden desk with a matching chair pulled up to it, both being very simple in design. To the right was a bookshelf that also matched the deck and chair. It was stacked neatly with books that had no clear labels. Lastly, directly in front of you, was a large bed. As large as it was, it was still clearly meant for only one.
>Closing the door behind you, you jump up onto the bed to find that it was one of the most comfortable things you've laid on in a long while. You stretch out onto it, making yourself comfortable, not even bothering to use the blanket or any of the pillows, just enjoying the comfort of the cloth beneath you.
>When KK said she was going to give you a room, you didn't really expect something this nice. Really, this is something that only the higher ups would get back on Tetra, save for the Sentinels. They pretty much got a castle to themselves, the selfish fucks. But you digress. There are better things to think about besides the past. 
>Like your future. Yeah. But then again, you already have that pretty much figured out for the most part in a very vague sense. So, you guess the real plan was more or less what the princess told you: Enjoy your time here.
>Still, something about that sentence didn't sit right with you for some reason. It definitely wasn't that it was malicious or anything, but you just couldn't place what it actually was. Hm. Whatever, it would probably come to you sooner or later.
 
>Getting off the bed, you go to inspect the bookcase with more care. All of the books were completely unlabeled except for decorative symbols on their spines. For curiosities sake, you'll have a small look. As hard as it was with hooves, you manage to get a rather small book with a dragon on the spine out onto the floor in front of you. Flipping it open to the first page where a name was written, or at least you think it's a name. You couldn't actually pronounce the words Sun Tzu with any certainty, but they did look familiar.
>Closing the book and putting it back with your teeth, you go back to your bed. Heh, ‘your bed’. How long has it been since you've said that? 
>Jumping onto it, you start to actually consider what's happened so far. You've been thrown into a new life as the son of a jerk god by another insane god thing who you can't really tell if they are for you or not. The jerky god has a grudge of some sort on a princess who actually doesn't seem to be the worst ruler you've seen. She seemed to care for your well being in the hands of the jerk, so that was good. Aside from her being the only one you know for sure wants the best for you, that last sentence from her was still bothering you. ‘Have a good life in Equestria’. You repeat that silently to yourself for a few moments. Then it hits you. 
“How did she know I'm not…”
>You dash off of your bed and out the door to where Discord was. He was sitting on his couch with a scroll floating in front of him, seemingly writing on it with his talon before you burst into the room. He looks down at you.
>”Do you mind? I'm trying to write to my pen pal.”
“Discord, what EXACTLY did you say to that princess?”
>You were actually really fucking concerned. You didn't know what people from this world knowing about where you came from actually entailed, but you were sure that it couldn't be good.
 
>He lazily rolls his eyes as he goes back to writing. 
>”Oh settle down. I only told her what she needed to know, nothing more.”
>You weren't buying it.
“And that was? Listen, I'm pretty sure she knows I'm not from around here, and you said we were gonna keep that secret, so what did you say?”
>Discord lets out a sigh and sets his paper to the side, glaring at you with annoyance. 
>”Fine, if you insist on annoying me, I'll tell you. I told her that you're not from Equestria, that your from a very far off land that I only happened to find by pure accident when using my magic. This place was very poor, and amongst everypony else, I saw you. Being the good hearted soul that I am, I took you in as my son who I love tenderly and only want the best for. There, does that satisfy you?”
>You were about to complain that it doesn't, but…
“Um, well, yeah. That actually kinda doe–”
>”Good” He snaps his talons, turning you around and magically pushing you back through your door. “Now go do...whatever it is that you do and leave me to some peace and quiet.”
>The door slams shut as he finishes speaking.
>You sigh and jump up onto your bed. Once a-fucking-gain, your stuck here. Well, you've exhausted your options really. There were all of the books, but it's not like you would be able to get more than a page in before the wording would get too difficult for you to read. 
>Scanning the room for literally anything to do at all, you spot something. On the deck to your right, was an inkwell and pen, as well as another book, but this one looked different from the rest. Hopping directly from the bed to the chair, you examine it more closely.
>Brown, leather bound with a simple skewed design imprinted around the border, and held closed by a small strap with a button on it.
>Carefully undoing the button with your teeth, you flip the book open, revealing…
 
>A blank page. Great. Through further investigation, you find that all of the pages are, in fact, blank. Not even lines to write on, just plain white. You look towards the inkwell and pen. Both items were very ornate compared to the book, the inkwell having spirals carved up its body and the pen having many strange glyphs carved into its length. Taking a few glances between them and the book, you figured that they were probably yours since they're in your room, so why not?
>You almost instantly reach for it with your hand, but the realization that you didn't have any anymore stopped you. You could grab things with your hooves, but not with any real delicacy. Hmm… Maybe you could use your mouth?
>Meh, no harm in trying.
>Carefully using your teeth to pick up the pen, you use your hoof you open the inkwell lid, which was conveniently on a hinge connected to the body, revealing a deep red ink inside. Dipping the pen in the well, you take it to the paper and attempt to write something very simple in the blood-like ink. 
‘Hello.’
>It was extremely sloppy, not just because of your horrible writing abilities or because you were using your head, but also because you seemed to have put a little too much ink on the pen, making your lines very uneven. As a whole though, you don't think you did too bad. It was nowhere near perfect but – it having been such a long time since you last picked up a pen, let alone used one – you were impressed with yourself. You still really need some practice, but you guess that's what the book is for.
>As you're about to touch the pen to the paper once again, you're interrupted by a scratching noise. Looking down, there was a word being written out in a contrary dark blue ink from no apparent source. The writing was better than yours, being semi-neatly printed under your word. 
>‘Hello?’
 
>Um, excuse you? Really, you shouldn't have been surprised, but you were. It's kinda hard not to get surprised by an equivalent of instant message via book. Or at least that's what you assumed it was.
>...
>Let's find out!
>You scratch the pen against the paper, taking more caution this time to neatly write your words underneath the blue one.
‘Who are you?’
>There, that should give you your answer.
>A moment of nothing passes before new words are written underneath yours.
>‘My name is–’
>With a flash of white, you're back in the livingroom, sitting in front of Discord impatiently tapping his foot.
>Fuking hell, could this guy go more than ten seconds without interru–
>”There you are!” He picks you up like before. “It seems that I've lost track of time. We'll have to rush to get to our next stop on time.”
>That's it! You're already tired of his fucking shit. No more. How you'll get him, you're not sure yet, but you'll come up with something. 
>Knowing that you wouldn't get a word in anyways, you stay silent as he teleports you both off to somewhere else.