>Be a drunk idiot at night.
>You’ve fallen over and are laying in the wet mud.
“This is kinda comfy.”
>With shaky hands, you pull out a cigarette and light it.
>You feel the gentle breeze blowing across your face.
“This is fine.”
>Suddenly Starlight pops in.
>You don’t know if you’re friends or just casual acquaintances.
>Maybe she just does it out of pity.
>She walks over to you and gives you a scrutinizing look.
>”What are you doing?”
“Just having a moment. This mud is surprisingly nice. You should try it sometime.”
>You take another puff.
>She shakes her head.
>”Get up already.”
>You slowly stand up.
>Cleaning these pants will be a nightmare.
>You sit at the doorstep to your house.
>Now she just looks annoyed.
>That’s not a way to welcome a guest.
>“Have you at least cleaned up the place?”
“Yeah. Did it earlier today.”
>”Good.”
>She says, trying to put on a soft smile.
>She walks past you through the door.
>You put out your Marlboro red and go inside after her.
>The ashtray is getting full again.
>You toss your dirty pants and jacket to the side and take off your shoes.
“They’re tomorrow me’s problem. Fuck that asshole anyway.”
>You grumble and walk over to Starlight, who has made herself comfy on one of the leather chairs.
>The stereo is still blasting obnoxious outdated rock.
“So, what are you here for?”
>That’s a rude way of putting it, moron.
>”I just felt like dropping by. Maybe have something to eat, mess around with some of your stuff. Figured you’d still be up at this time.”
“Should I go make you something?”
>”If you can stand up that long.”
>You walk over to the kitchen and heat up the pan.
>She turns off the stereo.
>That lady can be as rude as you sometimes.
>You put some toast in the toaster and two eggs in the pan.
>She leans over to a glass of dark liquid and takes a whiff.
>”What is this stuff?”
“Simple rum and coke. You want some?”
>”Nah, I’m good.”
>Come to think of it, you should make some tea.
>You turn on the kettle.
>You both sit and stand there in silence, the sizzling of the eggs as background noise.
>Why couldn’t it be like this everyday? Minus the feeling of having to throw up. I suppose there’s no reason for her to stay with some bloke like me.
>You make the tea, take the eggs out of the pan, put them on the toast and spread some mayo over them.
>You walk over to Starlight and put the plate and mug in front of her.
>”Thanks. You’re not having any?”
“No. I already feel like vomiting.”
>”What’s this tea?”
“Just black, with a bit of honey and lemon juice.”
>You move the glass of rum and coke over to you, looking into it like there’s something to be gained from that.
>Getting annoyed with this, you look over to Starlight instead.
>She’s happily eating away. Maybe you can savor this adorable sight for a little longer without her noticing.
>But eventually she notices you staring like a weirdo and pauses.
>You look back at your glass.
>She finishes and levitates the plate over to the sink.
>”Come to think of it, you were supposed to show me that PC thing of yours.”
>You glance over to her.
“Yeah, we can do that.”
>”Feel up to it?”
>You put your hands on your knees and push yourself up.
“Just let me get a glass of water first.”
>As you do that, she walks to the bedroom.
>You join her and notice, she has already made herself comfortable on the chair in front of the monitor.
>You push the button to turn on the old desktop and sit down on the floor beside her.
>You hear the fans spin up, that pleasant noise the hard drive makes and finally the XP startup sound plays.
>You have a laptop with more recent hard- and software, but for some reason you could never bring yourself to throw this desktop away.
>Starlight just looks at the monitor.
>”What now?”
>You proceed explaining to her how to use the mouse and keyboard and how files and directories are organized on a typical Windows machine.
>бабушка.png
>She looks about as confused as your grandma back when you tried explaining all this to her.
>You take a sip of water as you contemplate your next move.
“You know what, nevermind.”
>You swiftly take the mouse and double click the Firefox icon.
>Shit takes forever to open.
>A window shows up, displaying the page of your search engine of choice.
“Just type in whatever, hit this button and see what pops up. Safe search is off, you’re ready to fire.”
>You give her the finger guns like a buffoon.
>She uses her magic to type in her first search.
>cat
>What else would it be?
>Starlight continues typing in more searches, clicking links, leading her to more and more obscure sites. As one does.
>At some point you pass out on the floor.
>You wake up in the morning.
>Starlight is still sitting at the keyboard, watching a video.
>It’s some animation of a girl getting screwed by a horse.
“What have I missed?”