>Another long day at the sweet shop you run.
>But it's what you have to do to support your son and starving artist wife.
>Honestly, you appreciate all the care and affection she gives Anon, but it would be nice to see her pick up her harp more often.
>Maybe play some gigs at the local bars.
>Would mean you don't have to work so long.
>Could spend more time with your growing boy.
>He towers over you at fifteen.
>You sigh, accepting that this is your life, and that it's not so bad.
>You enter your home and call out to your alien son.
"Anon? Are you home sweetie?"
>Some thumps come from the living room.
>You open the door to the living room to find your son scrambling to put his pants on.
>"M-mom?! I was... uh..."
>Your gaze turns to see a giant green box behind your son.
>On top of the box reads 'Enter Dick Win A Prize'.
>He's standing there looking at you nervously.
>"I-it was here when I got back from school..."
>Your eyes shift to a hard glare.
>"I know I know, I shouldn't just... but it's been here all day! It was taunting me! Nothing I did make it open up so I figured..."
>Your hoof plants itself on your face.
"Just go to your room son."
>Anon walks out of the living room, green head hung in shame.
>You trot over to the box.
>It has a hole just smaller than your hoof.
>Peering into the hole only reveals darkness within.
>"Lyra, get out of the box."
>The box shifts slightly.
>"Th-there's no Lyra here! Just the mystery of the box and its 'forthcoming' prize!"
>Your hoof punches into the hole and you pull out your minty green unicorn wife through it.
>"Oh.. hey Bon Bon! Th-this isn't my shower, h-how did I get in here?"
"Just start dinner, SWEETIE, if you would?"
>She winces at the venom you put in your words.
>"R-right! Dinner... on the way!"
>This is your life...
"And don't you dare serve Anon mint doughnuts and demand he lick the frosting off first!"
>"AWW COME ON!"
 
>"Thanks for the doughnuts mom, they tasted great like always."
>Doughnuts?
>Oh Celestia damnit.
>You trot towards the kitchen.
>Lyra is on the kitchen table swaying over to Anon.
>"You really like them Nonny? Well I've got something I bet you'll lo-"
"NOPE."
>You bite your wife's tail and drag her out of the kitchen.
>Her hooves fail to gain purchase on the wooden floor despite her best clawing attempts.
>"Alright well I have to go on my camping trip with the crusaders moms, We're going to try and catch bighoof!"
>Anon hoists his pack onto his back and walks over to you both.
>"Love you moms..."
>He leans down to kiss your cheek and you nuzzle him gently.
>Lyra's eyes go wide, her hooves go up and she puckers her lips.
"Anon, did you forget your flashlight?"
>He stops and turn to look at you.
>Your wife goes tumbling forward since her eyes were shut in her attempt to make out with your son.
>"Nope, I made triple sure to pack it and a few extra batteries" he says with a proud smile.
>He turns around and picks up Lyra.
>He kisses the top of her dazed head.
"Good boy" you say with a smug smile.
>Anon laughs, "Believe me, Bloom would have my head if I forgot my flashlight. Okay, Bye moms!"
>He shuts the door behind him as he goes off on his adventure.
>Lyra shakes her head to collect herself.
"Well... it seems like we have the night alone together..."
>"Yeah... about that, remember how you said you wanted me to get gigs?"
"I do."
>"Well, I got one! Oh, and I need to be there soon!"
>A large harp case floats over by the door.
>"Don't wait up for me Bon Bon!"
>You can see a brown furry hoof dangling out of the bottom of the shut case.
"Lyra..."
>She freezes under the weight of your tone.
>"Y-yes?"
"Where are you going to play at? Maybe I could come with you? Support my wife."
>"N-noooo no! Y-you don't need to do that, I know you support me all the way from here."
"There's a bighoof suit in the case isn't there?"
>"There might be a folklore-ically accurate representation in the form of an outfit, but I assure you it's purely for educati-"
"You're not going to hunt Anon in the woods wearing a bighoof costume Lyra."
>"But he's a young stallion! Going with three young mares! In the woods! ALONE!"
"... get the night vision goggles."
>"YES!"
"But you're only going to use the suit to scare them from getting too close."
>"Noooooo!"
 
>"Gotta check em!"
"Lyra, we both know that he hasn't needed to take off his pants to check his temperature since he was a foal."
>Your son moans as he awakens from his sleep.
"Are you feeling alright gumball?"
>"Yeah, do you need anything? Water? Tea? Blowjob? Soup?"
>Anon shakes his head weakly.
>"Mm cld mms" he responds in a gravely voice.
>It breaks your heart to see him like this.
>"Cold? Don't you worry my boy I've got just the thing for that!"
>Lyra's crouched next to the bed, her tail is raised and flicking.
>Honestly? Does she ever stop?
"LYR-"
>"A big warm blanket!"
>A green blanket floats in from another room and coats your ill child.
>You notice that her horn is glowing, was it like that this whole time?
>His shivering settles down.
>"There you go Anon, nice and warm right?"
>Anon gives a sleepy nod, his eyes barely open.
>"I love you Nonny, sleep well" she coos as she pecks his lips, once this time.
"Wow, that was... very motherly of you honey."
>"Come on Bon Bon, who do you take me for?" she huffs and trots out of the room.
>You lean down to kiss your son's sweaty forehead.
>In so doing you get a whiff of the blanket.
>It smells like...
>OH sweet Celestia! This is her "fun times" blanket.
>Your hooves go over your son's ears.
"LYRA? SERIOUSLY?!"
 
>You knock the door of your most unique patient.
>You can hear voices somewhere in the house.
>"You saw him! He liked the smell!"
>"He's feverish and out of his mind damn it!"
"Uh Hello!? Its Doctor Quadsai! I'm here to check on Anonymous!" you shout as you knock.
>The sounds settle down and you can hear some hushed shouting, "Just sit there! Honestly Lyra!"
>The door opens and the cream colored mare stands before you, her mane is slightly messy, as is her wife Lyra who's pouting behind her..
>"Doctor! Thank you so much for coming on short notice. Anon is up here..."
>You've looked over the sleeping giant and verify that his vitals seem only a little taxed.
"Well, I can understand your concerns, but it is my professional opinion that he-"
>"He's suffering from hypermarelustia? And he needs treatments day and night?"
"W-what? No! That's not even a thing... what I was going to say is he nee-"
>"Needs is tender hot loving care, that only mommy's pus-OW!"
>Bon Bon plants a swift hoof into Lyra's flank.
>You clear your throat.
"What I was going to say is that all he needs..."
>You and Bon Bon glare at Lyra.
"Is just some rest and plenty of fluids."
>"To be extracted from him?"
>Sweet Celestia, does she believe in the aged therapy of bleeding?
>"LYRA!"
>"What?! I meant like sem- er, snot and stuff..."
"He should try to keep as many of the logical fluids in as possible" you respond, glaring at the minty unicorn.
"For the most part he seems to be reacting like any colt his age would to a bad cold, so just treat him that way."
>"We will, thank you good doctor."
>"Yes well-"
>"Alright Nonny, Nurse Lyra is coming up to give you your sponge bath you dirty colt!" Lyra says as she ascends the stairs, now donning a nurse's outfit.
>"Thanksforeverythinghaveagooddaybye" Bon Bon babbles as the door slams in your face.
>You can hear more yelling inside.
>"Lyra! Put that loofa down!"
>"Why would I use a loofa to clean 'that'?"
>Yeah... you're charging them double.