>Be you
>More importantly, be you and sore everywhere
>You were looking in your bathroom mirror after taking a shower and... something happened
>Are you outside?
>You open your eyes and manage to bring your innermost thoughts to life
"Ah... that sucked. That sucked."
>You see trees
>A bright, blue sky
>Wasn't it winter?
>Your back audibly cracks and pops as you sit up
>You see six ponies around you, taking stances as if they're ready to pounce you
>"Watch out girls, he could be a threat." The purple one warns
>"Don't move a muscle if you know what's good for ya!" The blue one threatens
>"How utterly beastly..." The white one says with a hint of disgust
>"He's no beast I ever met." The yellow one murmurs
>"Well ya meant one now... but he don't look too dangerous to me." The orange one speaks up
>Before you notice what the hell, the pink one is sitting on your lap
>"He's not dangerous at all, else Twilight wouldn't have brought him here!"
>Wat
"Wait, wat."
>You don't bother to remove the pink pony from your lap because you still lack clothing
"I was brought here?"
>The purple one visibly falters
>"Well...you're from the steam dimension, aren't you?"
>You give her an incredulous look
"I'm from... MY BATHROOM. What the hell?!"
>You're still mostly wet, even
"Why am I surrounded by technicolor horses, why is one in my lap, where is my towel, and why did you try to summon a monster from... a steam dimension?"
>Your tirade causes five of the six ponies to visibly let their guard down
>"We needed him to make a Ponyville sauna, of course! Hot steam perks a pony up past the point of being pooped!"
>The pink pony on your lap was all too happy to chirp up
>You look down at her and sigh
"Good luck to you... now take me back."
>The purple one clops up to you
>"I... don't think I'll be able to quite yet. If you didn't come from the right dimension, that means my calculations were off and..."
"...and?"
>She gives you an apologetic smile
>"It means... I don't know where you came from so I couldn't, in good faith, send you 'back' because I could end up sending you into a real steam dimension or something worse?"
>You stare at her
>You look down to stare at the pink horse that has made herself comfy by laying on her back on your lap
>You look at the other four that have long stopped their combative stance and more meander around in their own ways
>All of them except the pink one look embarrassed or apologetic in some form or another
"If I were a steamin' demon, and you wanted my help, why would you even threaten me like that?"
>The ponies try to mutter their own excuses, none of them daring to look you in the eye
>"Well... Twilight didn't say anything about steam monsters coming out looking like you. So, you know... it's understandable?"
>That was the blue one that spoke
>This isn't going to go anywhere good, is it
>Like a table, you flip the pink pone off of your lap and stand up
>You absolutely tower above them with your... average human physique
>All eyes are on you
>Parts of you, anyway
>You should feel embarrassed but you're too annoyed to actually care
"Start from the beginning or I am going to unleash my true powers and show you the power of Joe Cartoon."
>For one reason or another, they oblige
>You find out that you're in Equestria
>An orchard, specifically
>You figure out all of the names of the ponies
>And that their entire scheme was completely hair-brained to begin with
>As everyone explains their own parts of the story, they introduce themselves
>The pink one, Pinkie Pie, somehow ended up in your lap again
>You're really not sure of when she found her way there but you were too worn down to care
"So... the teal-deer of this is that I'm stuck. And you little dorks have absolutely no clue of what to do. And you promised your little town that you'd make a big sauna."
>All of them nod, almost in unison
"Why not boil a lot of water?"
>Five of the six turn their heads to look at Twilight
>She gives you another awkward smile
>"It would... take a lot of work? And... I'm almost never wrong with my calculations..."
>You let out an elongated sigh, looking over the six
"Ok... how about this. I help you guys, you help me. I could say that you all owe me for calling me a beast, and for ripping me out of my own home for the sake of some pedestrian pony party. But I want this to be fair and give you all something of substance to help show that I'm not secretly going to destroy you all for awakening me from my thousand-year slumber."
>A few of them give awkward laughs
>"R-right... in that case, we need a place we can keep you."
>Twilight seems like the leader, since she's the one who has the defacto voice
>"Applejack! You're the strongest of us and your orchard has a ton of space! You could hide him, right?"
>Applejack, who had been almost entirely silent the entire time, suddenly jolts to life
>"Wait, whut... you can't mean that! What happens if he really is a monster? What if someone comes by?"
>You can feel the care they have for your wellbeing
>You're pretty sure you brought up your name once before already but none of them seemed to remember it
"Yeah, what if the naked human is seen without clothing, which I still need by the way?"
>Twilight shrugged, as if the matter were settled
>"Well... you have a barn, don't you? And if we need it, we have the Elements of Harmony and Celestia!"
>Fluttershy speaks up
>"But, oh... shouldn't we tell her right now what happened?"
>Twilight's face morphs in an instant to one of terror
>"Heavens, no! If Celestia found out, she would wrap my horn in cement, turn me to glue and take away my Canterlot library card!"
>No one speaks for a few moments after hearing that
"I'm so glad that my concerns vastly don't outweigh your ability to read books."
>She nods to your faux-agreement
>"You're obviously a human of great intelligence to get that!"
>You look at Applejack and shrug
"So... you got a blanket or something I can use? And evidently I'm going to be staying in a barn?"
>You've already submitted to fate, there's no reason to fight it
>Especially with the pink pony incessantly sitting on your lap
>The orange animal glares at Twilight before focusing on you
>"Yeah... I reckon we aughtta get going."
>The band speak among themselves as you get up, trying to make like it isn't awkward to be full-frontal in front of six girls
>Even if they are horses
>Eventually they all fly, trot, poof, or bounce away
>Until it's just you and Applejack
"So...you run this orchard, huh. Guess you could use a hand for now?"
>She perks up, nodding
>"Well it's my family's but I sure do run the most important parts! Let's get suited up and I can show you around, Anon!"
"Lead the way."
>Despite you holding out your arm, she starts walking only when you do
>She seems level-headed enough
>She remembered your name, too!
>At least you might be able to get a good tan now
>Applejack takes her time showing the orchard to you
>Every row has a story
>Every tree has a tale to tell
>Despite her practiced pitch to impress, the trees are indeed pretty massive
>A lot of them have hoof prints in the same spots, almost marking them like how someone could mark cattle with a brand
>They're pretty tall for you, so they must be massive for her and pony kind
>You don't particularly mind walking around out in the open, but you do hesitate when she turns to face your direction
>She's a little less than waist high so there isn't a lot of room to hide
>"So! What'cha think? Bet you don't got something this well storied back home, huh?"
>You cross your arms, nodding at a tree that seems permanently bent in one direction due to how often it's been bucked
"Yeah... it's pretty amazing to see just how resilient those trees are. What's your growing season, anyway?"
>The orange fruit mogul puffs out her chest
>"Only year 'round!"
>She falters
>"... you know, some years. A little magic don't hurt but you can't go telling everyone that sort of thing, you know? Celestia would be in a tizzy if she learned about giving these darlin's their own little suns."
"Your own little trade secret, huh... all of the pros have their own ways, right?"
>She grins at your understanding
>"Darn tootin'! Anyhow... next is the barn, I suppose..."
>She sounds almost disappointed
>You can't help but feel relieved
"Yeah... got a sort of tarp I could use? And for bed... well, I guess something my size is kinda rare, huh. Got anything better than bare floor? I laid on that for a year before when I couldn't afford a mattress and that just ruined my back something bad."
>You bring up your arms and cross them over your chest, your shoulders and back popping
>You don't pay attention but Applejack's reaction but when you bring your arms down she looks a little in awe
>"That's... hard living right there."
>She stamps down a hoof
>"Alright, it's settled! How about I set you up something good? You can pay me back by helping me work the orchard? You got the size, the power, heck, you'd almost beat me in a competition!"
>You scoff
"Almost? Sounds like a challenge to me. But for now... mind if we check out that barn and something I can wear? I'm away from home, I'm naked, I don't have my vidya and I'm not sure if I'll ever make it back. I appreciate you striking up a deal so it isn't charity but... well, you know."
>You can't help but sound defeated
>You aren't sad
>You aren't even all that mad
>But you know that due to the whim of some purple dork, your life as you know it is just gone
>Applejack doesn't look at you
>"Yeah... I don't think Twilight will apologize for a bit because she has the best intentions. But she can be a little... thick at times. But on account of everyone else, I am sorry this happened to you."
>You wait just long enough for her to finish before heading into the barn
"Yeah... I'll try to not get in the way until then."
>"I'll make it up to you somehow, or I ain't the best pony in Ponyville for keeping her word."
>You don't hear anything beyond the first word, not that it particularly matters
>You kinda put yourself down
>You sit yourself down on the closest rectangular bale of hay... after adjusting yourself so nothing pokes into anything sensitive
>You sit there for you don't know how long
>The orchard is pretty quiet, outside of the echo of birds
>At least the birds mostly sound the same
>You hear a dog too
>A dog?
>A brown and white dog rushes into the barn, stopping a few feet in front of you before giving a few quick barks
>You show said doggo your hand
"Hey there, guy. Something familiar for once, huh."
>The dog comes up to you and rubs his head against your hand
"Lemme guess, you're Applejack's manager or something, right? Come to whisk me away like Watabou or something?"
>"Winona can't talk, silly! Now get on out of here, you got something to do don't you?"
>Applejack's voice
>She slides through the doors, carrying something bundled up on her back
>It's some sort of shade of blue
"What the hell's that, a tent?"
>She stops in front of you, turning to her side
>"Well I hurried over to Rarity lickity split and if you could believe it, she was sizin' you up! Now she ain't got all of the details down but she made you a little something to get you going."
"Thanks... was that the one who called me beastly?"
>You had body hair but you weren't some animal
>"Yeah... she's a little weird too. I think she meant it as a compliment. She was in a panic about how she didn't have enough of one color in excess."
"Right... I suppose she'll want something in exchange for this too I take it?"
>You undo the ribbons that held the garment to the pony's body and pluck it from her frame
>You hold it out and it looks like a tunic
>Or a mix between a tunic and a butcher's apron
>You mentally refuse to believe that it's based off of a dress design
>"I don't think so... she called it an emergency and she wasn't too proud of that one. She's a bit of a fashion victim, so... yeah, you know the type."
>You stand up and guffaw
"Yeah, I think I do. Still, this was nice of her. Feels a bit more manageable than a snow tarp."
>You turn your back to Applejack and equip your new armor
>It manages to go all around your torso, but it goes down further in the front than it does the back
>There are no sleeves to it, which isn't the worst thing
"Hey... why's this blue, anyway? You said she's a fashion victim, right?"
>You turn to face her and hold out her arms
"Not too shabby, huh?"
>"Yeah, she said how blue is a winter color and since it's summer here, it doesn't... uh..."
>Her words trail off when you reveal yourself to her
>Her eyes dart down from your face to your waistline
>She looks almost disappointed for second
>"...uh... yeah, it looks good."
>You feel a smidgen better
>At least you feel a bit more normal
"So... what now? Mind if I have the day off before I get started on stuff?"
>You sit back down on the bale, still taking care to adjust yourself
>"Well I suppose... but you gotta do me a favor if you do."
>Of course
>You sigh, throwing up your hands
"Naturally. You're already a slave driver, aren't you."
>She tries to smile away the not-so-compliment
>"Now now, don't be sour. I just wanna know about where you're from! You gotta have a home to go back to, right? How about you tell me all about it and we can... I don't know, bring some home here? We don't honestly use this barn for a whole ton outside of the winter so if you wanna make this into a sort of room or something... well, it's sure big enough, right?"
>She had a good point
>You shrug
"Alright... well, where do I begin?"
>You tell her all about your world
>About your job
>About how your apartment is actually pretty decent now that you bought some good wood furniture
>It was a small, short table
>But still
>You go into the games you play
>The shows you listen to
>The things you write
>Hours pass that you talk about everything, from the car you drove to the food you ate
>The sun had begun to set, giving the barn interior a somber aura
"So... yeah. I'm not missing a ton of things. But I don't exactly feel good about being ripped away from all of that, as soon as things started turning around."
>Applejack watched and listened without complaint
>You could tell that she was watching you with interest
>Of course there was nothing else to focus on in the nearly abandoned storage unit
>You watch her face
>She watches yours
"...got anything to say?"
>"All of that sounds... crazy to be honest. So you really don't know any spells?"
>You scoff
"Alright. Here's a thing for you."
>You point at her
>And squint your eyes
>She leans back, her face scrunching
"Without moving from this spot, I'm going to electrify you."
>Your voice drops down to a bold baritone
>Applejack's eyes widen and focus on your hand
"Eye's up here, tater tot."
>Your hand morphs from a pointing shape with your index finger to a thumb pointing at your face
>Applejack visibly tenses
>You do the magic trick
>The People's Eyebrow
>The sheer audacity of the 'trick' and the straight face you do it with is truly electrifying
>"Whoa?!"
>The crowd (of one) goes wild!
>You maintain the thunderstorm of facial expressions until the novelty wears off
>You're both left in the barn with hardly anything to say
"Yeah... how's that for some magic."
>Applejack giggles, shaking her head
>"That's a terrible trick! You're terrible!"
>You chuckle and shrug
"Yeah well... that sort of look caused entire stadiums to go crazy. Thousands and thousands of people.Imagine an entire army of fans, losing their shit all at once from one look."
>You both sigh
>"So... are you gonna be alright sleeping out here?"
"I don't have much choice now, do I?"
>"Well my bed is a little too small for a, a, human you said?"
"Should I be glad or sad at that tidbit?"
>She lets out this... goofy 'hur hur hur'
>"I, uh... how about I go grab some dinner. My granny probably made some stuff. Maybe tomorrow I could introduce ya to her?"
"Already introducing me to the family, huh... not moving too quickly?"
>She gives another awkward-sounding laugh
>Just your luck that the best luck you've had so far with a female horse of all things
>Though to be fair
>You always had that sense of animal magnetism
>Applejack leaves the barn after tugging out a large cotton tarp that originally serves as a wagon cover
>"I'll be right back, don't you worry none except for getting comfy!"
>She gallops out in a full dash before you get a chance to reply
"R...right."
>Thankfully the tarp is massive
>You find a mess of wild hay and fold the tarp in half before setting it down
>Like a dog or cat, you sit down on it and extend out to a full laying position
>You roll back and forth, maintaining a complete stone face
>This isn't fun for you
>You roll back and forth harder, putting your weight into it
>This still isn't fun for you
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
>You keep rolling in the hay until you land on your back
>The tunic is a bit out of place but you feel far more comfy.
>Lacking in a proper blanket or pillow, sure, but it's pretty warm all things considered
>"Uh... I didn't know you were the sort who likes a roll in the hay."
>The color drains from your face
"Oh. H-hey there."
>You purse your lips and look straight up at the roof of the barn
>No holes
>Surprisingly good work with the nails given none of these things have hands or thumbs
>Applejack appears at your side, on firm ground
>A little wagon is connected to her, containing a large platter that's covered by a lid
>Both of them are really fancy, with an apple-red jewel at the tip of the handle
>"My little sister and my grandma were trying out some new stuff today so you can give them your feedback!"
>You feel a little bad for her bringing out the finery on you of all people
>Of all things that you are, given you're probably as alien to her as she is uncanny to you
>You reveal the dish and set the platter lid to the side on the tarp
>You see what looks like a mix of apples, bacon and potatoes, all in one gloriously huge helping!
>There's even a large soup spoon already dug into the mass of material
>The potatoes look like red potatoes
>The apples still have their red skins on them too
>The bacon is, of course, reddish
"...This is some nice stuff. What's the occasion?"
>Applejack sits opposite of you, gauging your reactions with a gleeful, proud gaze
>"Well, gotta expand the recipe book somehow, right? Applebloom said that red things always taste good, but I personally think she just got that from eating so much candy. Y'know, red things can also be really hot or spicy too... she wanted to add some peppers and a red string of licorice to it too. Grandma managed to keep her in check for the most part. Evidently apples and potatoes go together, who'da thunk it?"
>Applejack and Applebloom
>On an apple orchard
>You take a spoonful to taste test
>You take another spoonful
>It's still quite hot but you're willing to risk a burn for more
>With how much she's telling you, you're not sure if she's trying to impress you or if she just enjoys bragging about her family
"Your grandma... is she... uh, named Apple-something?"
>The orange pony laughs and shakes her head
>"Now don't be silly, of course not! She's named Granny Smith."
>You look at her
>You aren't frowning
>But you aren't smiling either
"I... see... who else do you have in your family?"
>She beams even wider
>"Well we got Big Mac, Apple Strudel, Braeburn, ol' Apple Rose, Auntie Applesauce, Goldie Delicious, Hayseed Turnip Truck, and that doesn't even count Uncl--"
"Stop. I get it."
>You can't tell if she's being genuine or not but it's enough to make your head spin
"That's... a big family, you know?"
>"Well sure, it's how a family oughta be!"
>You nod and eat more in momentary silence
"I've never had a big family like that. Seems like it would be a nice thing to have."
>You don't say more than that
>It isn't really a sore spot for you
>But it kinda is
>Applejack seems to pick up the cue that it's not all that positive a topic
>"Well... why don't you just make a big family then? You know, everyone starts small and then they work their way up!"
>You chortle at the idea
"That takes a ton of time... besides, where I'm from? Big families are almost nonexistent."
>The answer takes her off guard
>"What? Why?"
>You shrug, letting some of the food sit to cool down
>Despite how much you've eaten, the mountain remains untamed
"I guess that's how it is. I would like a big family, but I would have to worry about money. About having a place big enough to have all of the kids."
>Of finding another human, given the obvious biological differences
>To her, who owns so much land and has so many relatives, she probably can't fathom your issues
>"Sounds like you're surrounded by city slickers... why not just find someone who wants a lot of kids and then? Like a country girl with land or something?"
>You scoff
"Right, find myself a unicorn of a girl and settle into a new life and lead to at least six kids? In my world that's very rare."
>Applejack frowns at your negativity
>"Well I ain't ever seen a darn unicorn have land like..."
>She trails off
>"Well anyway, why don't I let you relax for the evening and turn in whenever you get the chance? I wake up early so be prepared to get started for your first day of work!"
>You nod, giving her a half-assed salute
"You got it, Boss Hoss. I wake up early but I don't have my alarm anymore so if I sleep in too late... just jump on me or something. I'll wake up."
>Applejack grins at the acknowledgement of being your boss
>"Yer darn right you will! Just wait, I can tell you're gonna do fantastic!"
>You bid her a good night and watch her strut out, her ego appropriately stroke
>You finish more of the mountain of sweet, meat, and spud
>With this dish there is no dud
>You can't help but feel full like a stud
>You just realized that you don't have anything like boots or even shoes in case of mud
>You shake your head violently
>That was weird
>You finish eating what you can, which amounts to maybe half of it all
>To keep it safe from any outside force, you put the lid back onto the platter and lean onto your back
>You try to contemplate where you are, what this means for you and what will happen if you can't ever get back
>You try to think about what little family and contacts you have that might vaguely miss you
>You fall asleep like a bear entering hibernation
>You have a weird dream
>You find yourself surrounded by horses
>You end up riding one away from the rest while wielding some sort of lever action rifle
"HE-YA, INTO THAT VALLEY!"
>Something shoots you from somewhere and hits your shoulder
>You tumble off your horse and down a slope, landing in a rough patch of prairie brush
>The entirety of your torso hurts
>Especially your shoulder
>It feels like a kiloton weight crushing your joint
>You fail to move away from the brush that's poking into your back
>You feel warm wetness on your shoulder
>Your neck
>You're bleeding out
>You struggle in vain to defy your fate
>You feel more warm wetness on your neck
>It doesn't feel like bloodflow
>It feels like a warm, wet rag that's dragging itself along your throat
>Over your windpipe
>You groan
"...b..."
>You can hardly focus on anything but the weird sensation on your neck
>It keeps repeating itself
>You can feel the pressure on your shoulder letting up
>Are you saved?
>Or are you just dying?
>The warm, wet motion stops
>You struggle to let out a groan
>You aren't yet awake but the dream starts to fade away
>The sensation begins again
>It starts at the side of your neck, to the front, and ends at the tip of your chin
>It feels so relaxing
"...ah..."
>Your hand twitches and reflexively goes up to your throat
>It's wet
>"W-Winonna, get offa Anon! He's up already!"
>You hear Applejack's voice
>You don't hear anyone or anything else though
>You groan and open your eyes, feeling that the stiffness on your shoulder was real
>You're laying on your back, and your tunic is all disheveled
>You actively choose to ignore that your lower half is completely exposed and currently more awake than the rest of you
>You focus your attention on the pulsating coming from your shoulder than anything else
>You touch your neck again
>It's completely slick
>Not just from nearly the back of your neck, but all the way up to your chin
>It almost reaches your bottom lip even
>You sit up, watching Applejack going to the entrance of the barn
>"Get back here ya scamp!"
>She turns to you and beams
>"Well you're up, anyhow! I saw Winona in here lappin' at yer face and thought that she was just trying to wake you up."
She seems to ignore your morning glory and focus on you, though you can see her eyes move everywhere
>"So, how'd you sleep? Did you have any good dreams from eating all of that sweet stuff?"
>You look behind you and see that a lot of hay fragments punctured through the tarp
>That must've been what that sensation was from the dream
"I... guess so, huh."
>You sit there, just completely unsure of what to make of everything
>The talking pony kinda put everything back into perspective again
>You bring up part of your tunic to dry your throat off
"So... what's first for today?"
>"Well, first we gotta--"
>Before she can rattle off a list, the purple unicorn, Twilight, practically poofs into existence from thin air
>"Applejack, great, you're here, I think I can figure out where Anon came from! I run a few tests on him, cross reference my tomes on mystical bipedal creatures, and--"
>She looks at me
>And notices more than my face
>"By Celestia's legacy?!"
>She maintains a hard stare
>Applejack stares too but she doesn't seem all too bothered
"...what. Did the tunic magically change color or something?"
>You raise your hands and wiggle your fingers at them at the notion
>You look down to test your theory
>And you are still exposed
>You calmly put the front of the tunic over it, keeping a stone faced expression
"...You said you can run tests on me and find out where you yanked me?"
>Twilight does a short doubletake and looks at you as if it's a surprise your face exists to her
>"I, uh... come again?
"You can find out where you yanked me from. Tugged me off. Jerked me. The vortex of magic that sucked me into this world. Get what I'm saying!?"
>You're a little annoyed already at how easily she lost her train of thought over nothing
>Applejack turns her face away from you as you rant and rave
>Twilight has a poor deer-in-the-headlights look that only gets worse the longer you go on
>"...just tell him that you're gonna help him, sugarcube."
>You can hear Applejack murmur to Twilight
>"Right! Right, well, can't spend all morning stuck and rigid in place, right? Let's go!"
"Wait, what?"
>Before you can think, you're surrounded by purple energy for a split second before just poofing out of existence


>Before you have the thought of contemplating where you are and what happened, you're farted back into reality
>You're sitting inside... a house?
>More like a lab or a library
>You're surrounded by dozens of shelves seemingly chiseled into the walls, along with plenty of etchings of flowers, wispy patterns and other esoteric imagery
>The centerpiece of the area looks like some tree stump that was just grown out of the floor, flowering out into a table
>It must be recent mess, as you can see tens of books open
>Some are paired off
>Some are held up in the air
>There are even scribbled notes on the wooden floor
>You just barely register that they form something resembling a pentagram before you hear a 'poof' from behind you
>Twilight stands there, beaming at you
>It kinda sends a chill down your spine
>You're beginning to believe that this is some flowery, girly Cathedral of Shadows or something
>"So! I've been busy researching and realized what went wrong!"
>She sounds far too happy about that
>Like it's just some sort of personal test rather than a life that was ruined
"That's... groovy, perplexing purple pony. What exactly happened?"
>You readjust to sit in front of her, since standing doesn't seem like it would fit
>You're not even sure how well you'd fit if you stood like Gandalf in Frodo's home
>"Well you see I focused on a steam dimension because we need a steam being-"
"A steamin' demon, if you will."
>"Right, that, and I focused too much on the focus of the steam itself rather than the cause of the steam! So you must have thrown me off without knowing any better!"
>She lets out a triumphant laugh, as it was a joke
>"So, silly you, I honed in on you instead of what I was supposed to and well, here you are! But I'll have you know that as Celestia's favorite pupil, her head researcher into the occult and otherworldly experimentation--I haven't told her about researching this sort of thing yet--you're in the best hooves in all of Equestria!"
>She smiles with a squee
>Somehow
>For some reason you can't comprehend
>You don't believe her
"Uh... huh."
>"AAAaaaaaaaand, because I'm one of the holders of the Element of Harmony, you really can't do better for having friends either! I'm kinda like your ace in the pocket. So, as my new friend, you can help me research a way to get you back home!"
>She starts to step toward you, eyes focused on you with a laser focus
>A pencil and a notepad poofs over her head, enveloped in an eerie purple glow
>"So, can you tell me about your home? How much steam did you have that would throw off my calculations? Are you familiar with monsters, demons, or elemental entities that subsist off of magic? Are you a magical being, yourself? What's the lifespan of your species? Are you happy to make a friend as much as I am?"
>You can't help but feel weirded out at her energy
>You kinda can't really shut her down since she is your only real way home, but too many of the questions sound so outlandish it's hard to answer them in a serious manner.
"Well... I'm from Earth, and--"
>Twilight rushes up to you smiling a little too hard
>"Earth? Like our Earth, Earth? Earth pony Earth? Are you maybe similar to dragons due to your bipedal nature? Stars above, are you from outside of our atmosphere?!"
>Did she just call you an alien
>You poke your index and middle fingers out into her nostrils, making her sputter and step back
"Hold your hor... er, hors d'oeurvres. First off, the Earth I'm from is full of humans. We don't have little purple unicorns poofing guys out of barns and certainly don't have pegasus creatures that agree that I am, indeed, a "beastly" manner. And yes, I am still sore about that because I'm hardly an animal outside of be...eeenyway. Can we start somewhere a little more basic? Like a normal interview format or something?"
>Twilight sniffles from your nasal sneak attack before flinging the notepad and pencil away so fast you haven't a single clue where they went
>"Of course... this must seem rather surprising to you, especially if you aren't accustomed to seeing this sort of magic all over the place."
>From books to notes and the occasional beaker of fluid, everything lowers to the ground
>Now that it's all moving, you're only now realizing just how much she was spreading out her influence
>You feel something queer all around your body
>You feel yourself floating, but just enough to the point that you know you aren't sitting on solid ground
>None of you is
>"Now I'm going to make a magical imprint of your form so I can cross reference it later. Now please, start wherever you like and don't mind the floaty feeling. Ok?"
>You start to complain but then you feel something very distinct... touch you
>Not only is it intrusive, but it goes through your tunic
>You clear your throat and try to ignore the possibility that you may be getting magically fondled
>She smile on Twilight's face doesn't sooth you all that much
>Especially when part of you twitches from the pure sensation of it
>You try to speak and immediately feel something curl around your throat, along with your face
>You can hardly breath
>Time starts to melt as more and more of your vision turns purple
>You can't see anything now
>You're sure your eyes are open
>You try to think but immediately feel something invading your head
>Your name
>Your age
>Your favorite color
>Where you're from
>What it's like to chew Five Gum
>Memes
>Dreams
>Movie scenes
>Video games
>Vivian James
>Everything speeds up around you as purple envelopes your body completely
>Everything that you are, were, and could be, are all tested, questioned, and brought out for examination
>You feel a sharp, sudden sensation
>You're on the ground
>Twilight's standing over you, holding up a vial
>The vial is three quarters filled with something milky white
>It seems so much darker now, that your eyes aren't filled with that damned color
>Did the sun go down already?
>"Anon... you really are a fantastic subject. I don't know how it was for you, but for me? It was the best possible thing."
>She sounds pleased with herself
>You're not really sure what to think
>You don't feel like you're cut off from anything
>But
>You feel exhausted
>Too exhausted to move
>You close your eyes, groaning
>At least you have your voice
>"Anon, I know you're tired... but listen, how about we continue? And... tomorrow I can fix you breakfast or something? I don't know how to cook, I hardly have a kitchen here as is, but I can have someone bring over something! That sounds good, right?"
>You can't respond
>You feel muddled
>Befuddled
>And downright put through the wringer
>"I don't want to be so rude as to read your mind a second time so I will take that as a 'yes'! Don't worry, we're so much closer to you going back home!"
>You feel relief, to some extent
>At least you're going to leave this nightmare soon
>Maybe
>You internally scream as you feel yourself lift up again, feeling some incomprehensible force holding and gripping onto every part of you, keeping an impossible hold onto everything
>You feel a familiar sense of pleasure well up
>All goes purple again
>You find yourself on the floor
>Sorta
>The sun has come up again and you feel like you're laying on air
>It's kinda unnerving
>You wobble from your back onto your knees, away from the purple platform that was made to be your bed for however long you were here
>It had to at least be a full day now
>You don't feel hurt or sore or anything
>Like magic, presumably, you feel alright
>Well-rested
>Nothing aches
>The... sensitive pulsating you feel under the front tunic flap feels different too
>You're not sure what the hell but you want out
>You walk around the room you were poofed into
>It's pretty small and everything looks like it's made of wood
>Outside of a book stand or two, everything looks like it's just been carved or hollowed out
"...So I'm inside of a tree. Great."
>"Why yes, you are! You don't have trees in your world this big anymore, so it must be impressive, right?"
>You flinch at the sound of that proud, somewhat manic voice
>Twilight trots down the stairs behind you, humming some sort of tune you recognize
>That's a song from your world
>"Yesterday was so fun! I learned so much but I didn't have a chance to write any of it down... good thing we aren't rushing, right?"
>You want to jump through the window to escape but you have no clue how high up you are
>For all you know, you're in some tower that is miles off the ground
>You feel petrified on the spot
>Is this fear?
>"...I'm sorry if I got a little carried away. You understand that, sometimes, you just go a little too far a little too soon?"
>You hear hooves clop over from behind you, to beside you, until she's standing in front of you
>The apprehensive look on yourself tells her enough
>She gives you a sheepish smile
>"Listen... I am sorry. I was just immersed in it all and... you know, you enjoyed it too."
>The color drains from your face
>"Filled up five vials before you ran dry... you could do some serious damage if you were that energetic. But who knows what would happen between human and pony, right?"
"Please stop talking and take me back. I would like to go back now."
>You speak in as solid a tone as you can muster toward her
>She laughs and turns away from you, trotting to five thick books that sit from the floor halfway to your shoulder
>"These... I wrote from yesterday. And this is just your basic physiology, biological functions, mental faculties and affinity toward magic! I think I owe you an apology, it was more than just the steam that directed me to you!"
>She turned to face you again
>"You're... an anomaly. Even in terms of humans."
>You try to keep a straight face
"So I'm autistic due to my hobbies. What's the deal?"
>"Not just that! But so much more! I'm sure Celestia would reward me with my own castle if I could triple the amount of books I have on you!"
>Your body is physically fine but you can't help but shake a sense of sickness going on in your gut
"I would like to go back to that orchard now... I said I'd help Applejack. And while you consult whoever you are, I would like to help out since she's letting me stay at her place."
>"Oh well you know you don't have to. I could take care of your bodily functions, easy! Did you know that I found a way to teleport fresh, clean water into someone's body? You don't even need breaks, and you probably didn't even feel time go by at all!"
>She lets out a corny laugh
>"I mean would you really wanna go out and work in the dirty fields and trees that have bugs and whatever else like that? Applejack is certainly more than capable an--"
"I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK, PLEASE TAKE ME BACK THERE."
>You practically scream at her
>You can't lash out at her or attack
>Whether you want to believe it or not, if you somehow rid yourself of her, you would be stuck
>To an extent, you need her
>But the panic in your voice is too real
>She looks at you in shock
>"...Ok... geez, I guess you did promise you'd help her. You know, I offer her help all the time, but she says that magically tainted apples taste weird or something. I don't see why, apples are apples, right? Anyway, I have to compile all of this and your outbursts are frankly a little bit much this early in the morning..."
>She lowers her head as she speaks, sounding so casual that it's making your head spin
>"So, I'll see you later! Don't tell anyone what happened!"
>Wait, what
>Before you can react from her words, you poof out from her home and back into the barn
"What the hell does that mean?"
>You ask too late
>Your voice and appearance causes a sudden shout
>Applejack is where you were sleeping yesterday
>She's halfway finished building some sort of bed frame
>All of the materials are there, including at least a half dozen blankets, a giant quilt, dozens of pillows of various sizes, and an apple-shaped clock that's already been nailed against one of the barn support beams
>"Holy moly, Anon, you scared me there! Where've you been?"
>It takes a few seconds to realize that you're back
>You don't break, but your face falters
"I'm... uh, I've been... busy."
>Your voice audibly falters
>She can instantly tell and rushes over to you
>She grimaces, looking at you as if you have some sort of stain on you
>"You smell like those magic apples... what in tarnation were you two doing? You aren't gonna grow a unicorn horn or anything now, are you?"
>She chuckles at her own words, looking at you
>Expecting you to chuckle with her
>You don't
"I've been... busy, ok? I'm sorry for being late. I didn't know... I really didn't."
>You harden your face with everything you have but you can't keep your voice stoic
>The apparently titled earth pony walks around you, as if gauging something, before walking to the pile of pillows and bed parts
>You sit there, staring at nothing, as she drapes you in two blankets-one for each side of you-and builds something resembling a pillow fort around you
>"There... y'all are gonna feel better with some TLC, ok?"
>You don't reply
>The lack of reply causes her own expression of carefree happiness to slip
>"Y-yeah... I'd be tired too if I had to listen to that book worm talk my ears off. Especially about all of that magical hooey. I bet she told you about picking apples with magic, huh. I bet she thought she was the smartest pony in the world at that idea, right?"
>You don't blink or shift your gaze to anywhere in particular but you nod
>That action alone causes her to perk up
>"Heh, those unicorns think that magic can do anything for them, like it's, well, er, magic. But that don't make it the best because it's easy, right? I bet without that flashy light hullabaloo they wouldn't know what to do with themselves."
>You don't reply
>You feel tainted
>You feel drained on a mental level
>You can feel, somehow, that something inside of you was toyed with and put under strain
>It isn't exactly in your head
>And it isn't exactly in your heart
>But it's inside
>Applejack seems to pick up on this
>"You listen here, Anon... you're safe and sound in this here little blanket bunker. I'm... I'm gonna go have a little talk with Twilight. You stay here, ok?"
>Her expression turns painful, dropping any pretense of everything being ok
>"I'm gonna get Big Mac in here with something for you. He's a strong guy so if you wanna talk to someone and I'm not the one you want to speak to..."
>She trails off
>She gives you one last look
>"I'll be back as soon as I can."
>She trots off from your vision but you can hear her break into a breakneck gallop as soon as she clears the barn doors
>You could swear that you heard her shout something outside but you're too out of it to pay attention

>You sit there, covered in blankets and generations-old quilts
>All of them smell like some form of horse or fruit
>One of the quilts has an orange on it
>A fucking orange
>You start to laugh at that masterful examination
>You quiet down when you see a big, red horse trot in, connected to another one of those miniature trolleys
>It visibly looks surprised when met with your face
>Hopefully because you're human and a completely new entity
"...One of Applejack's relatives?"
>It looks at you, eyebrows risen slightly before they droop down to a neutral state
>"Eeyup."
>Sounds like a male
>You nod
"Yeah... hey. You... uh, you know Twilight?"
>His trot is slow and calm, though his relaxed eyes are nailed to your face
>He stops once the trolley is in front of you
>"...eeyup."
>You nod again
>Neither of you move for a while
>He shakes himself free of the trolley collar that hooked around his shoulders
>"...magic, huh."
>He speaks
>At least he isn't one of those slow sorts
>Was he familiar with Twilight and her... magic?
"...Eeyup."
>The red pony faces you
>It seems like he's trying to read your expression
>You aren't hiding anything
>But you feel drained in body and spirit
>After a time he nods and begins to trot off
>He must not have anywhere better to go since he really isn't trying to book it
>You speak up when he nears the barn door
"Hey, guy. Thanks. I really need to make it up to you. And Applejack. I really didn't know what was going to happen. I don't want to be a burden. You know?"
>...
>"...eeyup..."
>You're left alone in the barn again
>You feel so out of place
>You aren't even sure of what you should be doing
>What happens next?
>How do you get back home?
>You drag an arm out from underneath the pillow fort toward the now-familiar bejeweled platter cover
>Was this just what you were eating the day-no-two days prior?
>Was it one day or two?
>You really don't remember
>You pop the lid off, though the weight of the lid is extreme and your arm drops with just enough leftover restraint that it lands pleasantly enough
>It's an apple pie
>A small, personal sized pie
>You can tell because the center has a shape of an apple cut out
>Of course
>You can also smell the mix of caramelized apple and cinnamon
>You just sit and watch the pie for a few minutes
>You really need to pay these ponies back
>Your stomach growls enough to the point that you drag the trolley closer to you
>You scoop your hand under the pot pie-sized treat and lift it toward your face
>You aren't completely able to move like a normal human, but something about the scent of the pie invigorates you
>You dig in, taking out a large bite
>Almost immediately, you feel something... flood into you?
>Or more like something's draining from your body
>You take another bite
>And another
>The more you nibble and bite into it
>The more you devour it
>The more you feel like yourself again
>By the time you're halfway through, you feel the purple cloud in your head clear up
>After finishing all of it, you feel warm again
>You feel a little tired, and sore, but you hardly feel as terrible as you did just moments before
"That's... one helluva pie."
>"Y'darn right it is!"
>Applejack trots into the barn, as proud and as happy as she was last time you were out and about
>"It's a little... family secret recipe. It's supposed to help cure magic saturation."
>You shake your head at her
"You what? Magic saturation?"
>Applejack sits down next to you
>Not opposite of the trolley to look at you, but she's sitting and almost leaning against your quilted side
>"Well... lemme put it this way. Twilight's a bit of a bucket for magic. And we earth ponies are like... cups. Now you, I don't know. But you certainly ain't a bucket like her."
"I... thanks? Should I be happy about that?"
>"Well, yes and no. No, because it means you aren't able to really find your own way home. But yes because it also means that you aren't reliant on it. It means anything you can do on your best day, you can do on your worst. You have your own strength, you know?"
>You shrug
"I... guess so, sure. So what's the saturation?"
>"Well, magic is everywhere, or so I'm told. Nature, stars, trees, animals, you know, everywhere. But if you get too much in you at once, or if it's forced into you, it can mess with... you. Not, like, your physical you. But your inner you."
"..uh... huh... so what, did the saturation of magic screw with my... what, my soul?"
>Applejack shrugs too
>You can feel it
>"Iunno. I guess."
>It sounds completely insane
>But it doesn't sound completely wrong
"So... what happens if I'm oversaturated for long enough?"
>Applejack shivers
>"It ain't pretty. You turn into... I guess magic. Like, a familiar. You get bound to whatever magic saturates you. In this case... would'a been Twilight."
>You can't help but shiver, even under the warm bed gear
"She knows about this... right?"
>Applejack snorts
>"I.. had a talk with her. You ain't going over there again unless I'm watching it happen."
"Why?"
>No answer
>You shift your shoulder, testing that she didn't somehow fall asleep on you
"Why's that?"
>Applejack clears her throat
>"You... uh. You owe me. This ain't a charity, right? And you said you'd help me."
>You chuckle
>You were worried that there may be another reason
"Yeah, yeah... I got you, bossmare."
>You feel a weird shiver from the side Applejack is leaning against
>"Your darn right you do. But for right now. How about we take some time off, huh? You gotta let all of that magic stuff drip out."
"I don't know.. do I get paid time off so early?"
>You shift to get up but Applejack stamps down on your shoulder, stopping you from getting up
>She's actually kinda strong
>"You're staying put, Anon."
>You look at her to convince you that you should at least take a walk and you see it
>A concerned, intense glare
>Almost as intense as Twilight
>You yield and relax
>Only after a few moments does she ease off of you
>"You're my responsibility, got it? And... you're kinda alright, so I ain't gonna let you out of my sight"
>What sort of ass backward compliment was that?
"Alright... alright. I got it. Until I pay you back, no freedom for me."
>You sound downtrodden
>You're sure she probably meant that as a good thing but you couldn't help but feel like you got the short end of the stick
>She seems to have picked up on it because she nudges your side with her nose
>"Oh come on, don't be glum! How about you tell me more about where you're from."
>You furrow your brow, shaking your head
"Didn't I already do that? Yesterday? Day before?"
>You swear you did
>"Well maybe you did a bit but why don't you tell me more? Tell me more, that you didn't tell me before."
>She sounds insistent
"Well... alright. Where do I begin?"
>"Wherever you want, but... alright, how about you?"
>She sounds eager for it
>At the worry of repeating yourself, you start from the beginning
>Where you came from
>Your history
>You start getting that vague sense of deja-vu
>While speaking you feel a spike of panic and look at the orange pony that had gladly gotten comfortable against the fabric mountain of Mt Anon
>She looks up at you, perplexed
>"What?"
"...nothing. Anyway, I was..."
>You couldn't help but feel like you were reliving Twilight's interrogation
>Just with less purple energy and more apple-scented products

>By the end of telling Applejack everything about your life, your old life, the life you aim to get back to, you've relaxed into the home made fort
>Applejack listened intently, occasionally asking you a question that went above and beyond the basic of "what's your favorite time of the day"
>You sighed, watching the bed frame
>It seems big enough for you, but it's still only halfway done
>The clock says that it's only around noon
"...what happened when I was there?"
>Applejack shifts against you when you finally change topics
>"Well... I knew you'd probably be gone for a while. But I didn't know how long. So I thought, while you'd probably be here for a spell, that you could use a bed. I kinda feel funny about keeping you in the barn, on account of you being some giant critter that nopony has ever seen before. I told all the guys at the house about you but didn't really go into detail. Believe it or not, this sort of thing happens from time to time."
>She nods as if it were indeed a matter of fact
"Well it must, if summoning some fire demon was something you dorks thought of without any preparation. What the hell were you going to do if I was some violent beast? I could throw the unicorns like darts, treat those two pegasus-pegasi-whatever, like paper airplanes."
>You look down at her
"And I'm pretty sure I'd confuse you for a real apple pie and devour you on the spot."
>She scrunches her face at you, taken aback
>"...come again now?"
"Well the apple on your butt. I'd probably start there, any monster my size would."
>This makes her give an awkward 'hur hur hur' of a laugh
>"Yeah... well, anyway, we do have those elements of harmony. And Twilight and Rarity are pretty good with magic, so it's not like they couldn't zap you something fierce. On top of me bucking you, Rainbow Dash flying into you, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy... uh..."
>Her voice falters
>"Well, we have our ways of getting through danger alright. You would've have been any different."

>She waves her front legs to form an X
>You don't want to press any further because of what you experienced firsthand already
"Right... so, did youuuuuu maybe worry after I didn't just poof back?"
>You didn't want to be obvious but with how she's been reacting, you had to wonder
>"Well sure. When you didn't come back I had thought that Twilight conjured up a bed and something for you. I didn't have a clue that she would've done... other stuff."
>You flinch at the shoulders out of reflex
"...did you know that she'd do that?"
>Applejack stands up, stamping the barn floor
>"Why heck no! Who would ever allow that?! To you, no less! I know Twilight is a little weird at times with her magic voodoo crud but that was beyond the pale!"
>She glares at you
>"Now I may be a lot of things, but I'm not heartless!"
>You lift your hands from under the fort
>Who knew that she would freak out so much?
"Hey, chill, alright? I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know you from Adam, and I certainly don't know what to expect here. You guys basically zapped me here to begin with."
>Reminding her of why you were here made her go to the defensive again
>"Well... I'd have done a lot better about choosing the right world or something for a steamin' demon..."
>She turned her head and scoffed, clearly irritated
>"I don't get why Twilight has to do all of that stuff without our input... when she makes a mistake it's on all of us, not just her. But she likes taking credit when things get fixed up too, all for Princess Celestia."
>You shrug at her, as if that name is supposed to mean anything
"Who now?"
>Applejack clops her hoof against her head
>"Right... ok, how about I tell you stuff about here next? Kinda need to know, don't you?"
>Obviously but you're sorta at the mercy of whoever comes around
"Yeah, I'd like to know. Tell me what you can, alright?"

>You shrug off the outer layers of the fort while she begins to tell you of... the story of creation of the world, the stars, and everything else?
>Why does this sound familiar to you?
"Wait... one question. If Celestia is the all-god/mother/whatever... shouldn't she be a queen instead of a princess?"
>Applejack raises hoof to speak
>She acts like she's going to say something
>She doesn't
>She puts her hoof back down
>"...ok, good point."
>What type of answer was that?
>She speaks more about how everything happened as it did
>Grand Galloping Gala
>How they had a force known as the Elements of Harmony
>She kinda didn't do a ton of details when it came to those elements
>You could guess that she either didn't want to brag about it or didn't know how to
"So that's why you're such a ragtag group."
>Applejack nods twice before realizing what you said
>"Who's ragtag? I told everyone before that wearing some matching uniform would be silly! Don't tell me we look ragtag without that sorta thing..."
>You stifle a laugh
"Don't worry, you all looked... kinda threatening. I mean, to me, not really, personally. But I'm sure to some people you'd be very spooky."
>You get the feeling that she doesn't fully believe you but she shrugs the worry away
>"I suppose. So, what do you want to know next?"
>You look around the barn, trying to think of some topic
"...what're you gonna do for the rest of your day? You put me on light duty, right?"
>She pivots to the apple clock on the wall, letting out an extended 'hmmmm'
>"How about you help me get this frame set together? Having an extra pair of..."
>She looks at her hooves
>She looks at your hands
>Then back to her hooves
>"...uh... eyes... that can help. And once we get it all settled up, we can get you a real bed set up and you won't have such a bad sleep!"
>A bed did sound nice
>Though one thing keeps poking at the back of your head
"Listen... I don't know if she would or wouldn't do it, but what do I do if she comes back?"

>The question itself causes the hornless pony to give a disgusted sigh
>"That ain't gonna happen... I'll stand watch if I have to. She had an entire day with you, and from what she told me, it was disgusting. I can't let her do that again."
>The more you listen to her, the more it sounds like she was personally slighted for it having happened
>"Now there ain't any sort of... anti-magic charm stuff that I know about that ain't complete hooey. But how about another one of those pies? We still don't know what you can or can't handle so... maybe you need another one or two?"
>You want to accept but you can't help but ask
"Lemme guess... at a premium, right?"
>She looks at you again with a palpable level of disdain
>"I told you I ain't heartless."
"But you'll charge me for helping you build a bed and for having other food."
>She stutters and stumbles over her words
>"Well that's obviously different, ain't it?!"
"Is it?"
>"It is!"
>You look at each other until a mutual silent accord is made
"...you're cute."
>The look on her face is priceless
>"Wh-what in the heck did that come from!?"
>You stretch your arms and yawn
"Boy, am I officially rested up now. I could sure go for helping out building a bed frame so I don't have to take another roll in the hay."
>You stand up, towering over her
>Since resting and eating that pie, you feel like yourself again
>But something still... tickles in the back of your head
>The mere thought itself of what it could be makes you shiver
>"That ain't an answer!"
"Sure it is, now let's get to work."
>"Now hold on a--"
"Yes, holding! I'll hole the frame, you hammer away. Good thinking boss!"
>"Don't you turn it around like that!"
"Don't worry, I'll turn the frame around so you can get everything."
>"You sly devil, stop it!"
>You two bicker and keep it up well into the project, only stopping to ask real questions about what's next or which nails are for what parts
>By the time you finish, it looks... really good, actually

>The wood was pretty hefty and the nails remind you of those blacksmith nails that are basically big, metal spikes
>You test it by rattling each corner
>Nothing shifts, buckles, or budges out of place
>Applejack watches you inspect it with a puffed out chest
>"That right there is the best wood in Ponyville, I tell you that for free. Best you haven't seen any better, huh?"
"I'll say... the wood in my world is really shit, if it's for common furniture."
>You look at her with pursed lips
"Imagine a thin plank of wood that's just a panel of wood splinters held together by glue and other resin."
>She squints at you with a dropped jaw
>Before she can ask what the hell, you nod
>There's even a full dozen posts across the center of the frame, to help support a mattress
>Or whatever you can find
>To test it further, you sit on the side, on one of the struts
>Sure enough, it can support one Anon-sized human
"Neat... what can I use?"
>Applejack shrugs
>"Well you got that tarp, still. Pat it off, set it down and it'll be a really good basis, right? All of those pillows and blankets, you can set that up however."
>You look at the remains of the anti-magic pillow fort
>It looks like it would suit you, but it seems a little much for one person
"Sure, yeah... that sounds good."
>You lay back on the frame completely
>Though it isn't the most comfortable thing, you can feel that each strut is spaced out evenly so no parts of you are hanging loose or without support
"Now that's nice..."
>You close your eyes
>"Don't tell me you're gonna sleep like that. Not even a rock beast would sleep without some sort of bedding!"
>You yawn
"Yeah... well I get as hard as one alright sometimes. Gotta be able to roll with the punches, you know?"
>"Man, you're unreal..."
"Uh huh... yet here I am..."
>Before you know it, you lose consciousness
...
>You find yourself in Twilight's home again
>You can see... yourself
>Floating in the air, your tunic off and with Twilight mumbling things to you

>Except it's not the you floating
>You can hear her words in your head
>While she's pacing around you, you can see her magic going over you, top to bottom
>It keeps stopping when at your crotch
>It doesn't sound like an incantation
>You don't really get it
>You feel warmth on your crotch
>You groan
>You instantly regret it
>Twilight stops focusing on the floating you
>Her head snaps right toward you, her body facing the floating Anon
>Her eyes widen to an impossible level
>Her purple eyes bore into you
>"I ̛to͝l̵d̸ y͞o͝u ̴n͞ot́ t́o ̸t̢ell̶ a͘n̴y͞on͝e͘ do̶ ̴y͜o͟u kn͠ów what̨ ̵t̀h͘i̵s meąns̴ ̢she ̕won't̛ st̶ǫp ͜me ̡fro͡ḿ f͢i̷nis̶h̶i͢ng̕ ͞my r͘e̕s͡e̛a̢rch͡ ̴̶̛͝I'̶̢ll̷͝ ̧͟s͠͝h̛͜͝o̷̸w̷̷̡ ̡͡͝y̡o̵̵͡ú ̨t̸h̛a͟t̷͞ ̷yơư̴ ̷͘we̛͞r̷̵e̷̕͜ ͘t́h́͘e͠ ̵͟͡r͠͞iģh̢t̸ ͡͞on̢e,̴̧ ̛d͠o͞n'̀̕͢t̸̀ ̢f̴́͟ig͢͝h̶̸t i͞͠t,̴͟ ̸̡̢l̵̷̢e̸͞t̶̵͟ ̧͝m̧͝è̕ ̷̡in̡̛͡,͟͞ ̴̵̛͟͢t̷h̶̡̢̀́e̵͡ ̷͢͞ş̛́͜è̸͞e̢̕͜d̢͡ ̵h̴̨̢͞͞à̢̀͠͞s̡̛͘͡ ̨͜͟͞a̶̧͢͟l̴̨̧͝ŕ͜e͜͠a͢͟͝d̸̨̢͟y̵̴͡ ̵́b̵̢̨̀e͢͝͞e̴̛n̷̢͜͞ ̵͜p̷̛͜l̡̢a͜͡ǹ̵͘͘͢t̕͠͠e̡͢͡d̕͡,̶̕͢ ̶̨̀ḑ́o̷̡n̴̶̛͘'̧́͢͝͡t̡̀͜͞ ̴̵̀̀b̵̵̡̀́e̸͠͝ ̷̵̸́à̢́̕f̨͢͢r̡̀͜͝à̢̕i̶͝d̢͠,̕ ̸̸̛̀͜I͜͡ ̷̸̕̕w̸̛͘͜͞o̵̧̕͡u̧̕͜͠l̴̸̡d̷n̷̵'̛͝t̸̨̧͘ h̸̶́͠ư̸̢͠͞r̷̛̀t̵̡̛ ̵͟͡y̧̛o̢̧ú̸͟, ̧̨̀̕͜ļ̵e͘̕͟t̵́͞ ̸̧̀m̶̴̛͝ę ̶̶̀͟i̷͜͡͞n̛͟͠,̡̡͞ ̶̶͢y͠ǫ̴̶͘͞u'̴̸̢̢͢ŗ̷͘e̸ ̨v̴͘͟ę͜r̴̶͢͜͞y̢͟͞ ͡v̵a̕͝l̨̀͘͜u̢̧͡à̡̨́b̨l̷͘͠͞é̢̕ ̵̶̀͠͞t̸̢́́ó̸͡ ̧̕͘͞m̸͜͠ę͟͞,̨̛͘͠ ̷͝Į̵̶ ̶̨͝͝S̵̴͠Ȩ̡͟È͡͡ ̡̨̀Y̛͞Ơ͜͠͠͞Ų̡̕"

>You bolt upright
>You let out the most dire of panicked screams, flailing about until you realize where you are
>Evidently you hit Applejack or something
>She's covering her face with one of her hooves, and is at the side of the bed
>Was she trying to wake you up or something?
>You calm down only after looking around, glad to see absolutely zero purple objects
>You can hear your blood surging in your right ear
>You can feel your heart racing
>Your mouth is dry
>Your head is spinning
>You fight the urge to drop back down just due to knowing for a fact what will happen if you let yourself doze off again, even for a second
>"Jumpin'... what happened, Anon?"
"Twilight fucking happened. Did you not see that? Who the fuck can turn their head like that?! What the shit are you things!?"
>Applejack looks visibly hurt from your raving but you can't stop yourself
"The fuck did she do to me?! How could she see me when she was looking at the me from the..."
>You try to slow yourself, your head clearing
"...Applejack, what the hell happened. I doze off for a second and... I'm back at Twilight's. I can see her gawking at me, putting her magic on me. I make a sound and she fucking looks at me from the back of her head and it sounds like she's screaming at me from inside my own head, translated through a busted stereo speaker and so god damned loud it would've deafened me."
>She watches your freakout without saying a word
"Just... what the hell, man. She isn't supposed to be able to do that. How could anything?"
>She puts a hoof on your leg, which causes you to visibly jump
>"I'm right here, Anon. I'm not gonna let that sort of thing happen again."
>You can't help but laugh at her
>But it isn't funny
"Yeah? You and what army, huh? She could have fucking split my head open and licked my brain for all I knew, and no one would know any better. Would you know if I was fucked like that, huh?"

>She doesn't reply yet
>But she does after a moment of deafening silence
>"I know someone, a zebra... if you're serious about this sort of thing being that bad, we can talk to her and... I don't know. She isn't a unicorn but she can still do magical stuff. Potions and all that stuff, you know?"
"Yeah..."
>You stop yourself from giving another sarcastic answer
"Yeah... I guess. Can we go see her now? Or do I just gotta sit around in this barn?"
>You're starting to feel claustrophobic
>Especially since you know she knows you're here
>And if you're stuck, it means you can't just drop off her radar
>That sense of dread makes your stomach turn
>Applejack tries to give you a smile
>"Listen, in here is alright... out there? Well, other ponies are gonna see you and it's gonna raise questions and..."
>You look at her
>You feel resignation yet again
"...sure. Yeah, I get you. Summon a fire demon and have him power your little town party. Have a weirdo like me and suddenly things are out of the ordinary. Sure, do whatever you can."
>You bring your hands to your head, closing your eyes
>You've never been more terrified in your life
>You like horror movies but this is so far disconnected
>You practice at trying to maintain a deliberate, slower breathing pattern
>You completely shut out whatever Applejack was going to say
>Breath in
>Hold
>Relax
>Exhale
>You breath in and out a few times to try to calm yourself
>The scent of freshly cut wood is, of course, only the bed frame
>But you can only think of Twilight's home
>You don't open your eyes
>Just in case
>Just in case
>Just in case
>Just in case
>You refuse to open your eyes
>You just need to be sure
>You bring your legs up so you can have something to put your elbows on
>"Listen real quick... I'll be back, ok? I'm gonna have Fluttershy come over and she can keep you company. You like animals? She knows pretty much any animal in the world at this point!"
>You refuse to answer her

>You rub your closed eyes with your thumbs
>You can finally feel yourself slowing down
"Yeah... sure, ok."
>You focus keenly on breathing
>Not the wood scent
>Not anything else
>"You'll see! With some rabbits, a bear, birds, bees, whatever, you'll feel right as rain!"
>It sounds like she's unsure
>You don't hear desperation but you can hear her strain her voice
>She sounds normal
>Maybe that's how she's straining herself
"Sure, yeah... just give me a minute, ok? I'm ok. I am. Just give me a minute, and I'll be alright."
>You almost repeat yourself as if on auto-pilot
>Whatever happened, it was going to be ok
>You like rabbits
>Including that one that always took the wrong turns at Albuquerque

>After what feels like hours, you manage to clear your head
>You know it was most likely just a lame dream
>But a niggling part of you worries that it wasn't
>Nothing about all of this shit made sense
>You're alone at least
>As far as you know
>The front of your head pounding, you sluggishly stand up and stretch
"...Applejack wasn't kidding. Maybe a blanket or something would be good."
>Wanting to make good of the frame she went through the trouble of assembling, partly with your help, you gather the tarp and shake it loose of all of the hay needles and particles
>Setting that down as a bedspread, you layer it with some of the quilts you were given, leaving a blanket to have over yourself and... too many pillows to outline the head area
>It looks pretty sparse
>But it's covered in character and family history, even if it isn't your own
>You sit back on the frame
>It's still not all that comfortable compared to your own mattress but it'll do
>You get the feeling that you're still tired, that sleeping would be a good idea
>You shake your head, instead settling on closing your eyes with your legs crossed
>You focus hard on what you could, and should, do
>If you just hoofed it, how reliably could you stay out of everyone's sight?
>Would it even be safe to do that?
>You couldn't leave because you owed Applejack and her clan
>You also had no clue of what would be safe to eat in this crapshoot pony world
>Your tunic is still pretty nice to have, too
>You gotta thank that Rarity pony too
>By the end of it all, you can't imagine that you can do anything but wait
>So you turn your thoughts to what, specifically, you can do
>Given how big you are relative to everything else, is there any sort of monster to slay?
>You always wanted to try killing some beastly horror
>On the off chance you died, at least it'd mean that you'd be safe from another one of Twilight's examinations
>Maybe
>The thought makes you shake
>"I see he seems to focus, would he mind company from us?"
>"Oh... I don't know. Applejack didn't say anything about that. Maybe he's meditating?"
>Two female voices
>One noticeably deeper while the other one sounds soft and wispy
"Don't mind me, you don't have to leave me alone. Just thinking on how to avoid that purple pone."
>You hear a mix of surprised and amused reactions
>"Twilight Sparkle has left you vexed? I have heard from Applejack that she has you hexed."
"I'm perplexed as to what she'll do next."
>"Uh... I'm here because I was asked to be. Should I come back later... maybe?"
>You regretfully open your eyes
>You wanted to believe that you were meditating or focusing or something valuable
>Instead, your eyes just hurt
>It didn't feel like the saturation from before, but more you were just fatigued
>Like an entire day's worth of activity finally caught up to you and punched you in the sternum
"No, it's alright. I'm just... I don't know how I am, really."
>You can feel your eyebrows droop when you look at the pair
>The yellow pegasus looks familiar to you
>The zebra carrying a pair of large saddlebags on her flank and sporting a short mohawk is completely new
>"Easy, I am Zecora and a friend of Applejack. She has asked me to come help you get your vigor back."
>You shift your sight to her
"I feel out of whack. She popped up in my dreams so I can't even hit the sack."
>Fluttershy can't tell if you're doing it on purpose or not, but she claps her hooves together
>"You must be pretty witty to keep up with Zecora like that!"
>Zecora doesn't seem all that phased by it
>You aren't mocking her
>She trots up to you, eyes locked on your body
>You get the feeling that she's not looking at you per say
>"Magic is what I can smell... unicorn magic can become hell."
>You give a fatigued shrug
"Applejack gave me a sort of pie or something to help with something called 'magic saturation'. You know what that means?
>Zecora nods, shuffling off the bags
>"Magic saturation is an ailment most serious. I am not surprised if you have been delirious."
>All of this talk goes over Fluttershy's head, but the topic of Twilight causes her considerable concern
>"Twilight has done something to you? She summoned you here to be our 'steamin' demon' but that didn't cause that much harm to you through that, did it?"
>Zecora goes through her bags, setting up a small workstation while Fluttershy sits at the foot of the bedframe
>You look at the softspoken mare and give a heavy sigh
"I don't know what she's like to you... but it wasn't good. She kept me under some sort of freaky stasis for a day. She drained me entirely. I tried to sleep after and I could hear her talking to me in my sleep. And I don't think she was happy with that."
>The expression on the bird-horse is one of shock
>"You aren't telling me that she hurt you... are you?"
>You sigh and close your eyes again
>You prop your head against your arm
"You can call it whatever you want. I don't think any of you are going to believe me."
>"Eyes open, stay awake! If you don't, your soul will be easier to take."
>That makes your eyes shoot open
>You furrow your brow and stare at the zebra mixing together something
"... what the hell does that mean?"
>Zecora doesn't reply until she adds a bottle of some sort of sludge to a wooden bowl containing a number of raw roots and what you could only glimpse at being the remnant of some creature's lump of flesh
>"I have seen a hole in you. A piercing in your soul that would let anyone through."
>Fluttershy gasped, switching from you to her
>"Twilight did that? It had to be on accident, didn't it?"
>"Accident or on purpose, I do not know. But this spiritual injury has got to go."
>So that's why you feel that breeze
>On a more serious note, you can't even begin to imagine what that could possibly look like
"Are you saying she broke me?"
>"Like an egg, she cracked. Whatever is inside of you is inside deep and very densely packed."
>She takes a weird looking pestle and mashes into the bowl, focusing back on her job
>You look at Fluttershy
"...does any of this make sense to you?"
>You don't try to but you sound hopeless
>"I... I don't know anything about magic."
>She stammers, though she picks herself up
>"But I can tell, you aren't dangerous. And... you look like you're hurt. But I don't know where."
>She gives you a faint smile
>"But I can smell dog on you. One that isn't from here at all so you must have friends back home waiting for you!"
>You grimace
"...yeah... but not if I can't go back home in time."
>That remark makes her mood plummet
>"O-oh... I'm sorry..."
>You yawn and lean back
>Despite the light outside, the headache you feel and the weight on your eyes have become painful enough to make tears form at the corner of your eyes
>Before you manage to lay back again
you hear the pestle drop to the ground
>"I have prepared a strong medicine, too much for a pony but for you it should be a full dose. Drink it all at once and let me continue to diagnose."
>You have no clue why she's so hellbent on the rhyming but you nod and lean down to take the bowl prepared for you
>It smells like vile hippy shit
>You've eaten tofu at least five times in your life so you feel like this is the only natural progression from that
>You tilt your head back and choke down the concoction
>You take a second to conemplate the ingredients and what that stringy mass of something is when it reaches your throat and your body doesn't allow you to swallow
>You visibly gag on it and try to gulp it down
"Alright... what did that do? How is it supposed to h e l p . . . ."
>During the few seconds it takes for it to slide down your gullet, you feel your entire world blank out
>You fall over from your sitting position, diving face first onto the ground
>By the time you hit the floor you are so deep in a sleep that you can't even dream
>But even there, in that abyss, you just can't be left alone
>You stand in the middle of pitch darkness
>Opposite of you is a tall, dark purple horse with... a horn and wings?
"You're... not Twilight."
>"I am not, but she is a dear friend of ours. What manner of creature are you?"
>You grimace
>Hopefully that isn't going to bite you
"Well I am stuck here due to Twilight grabbing me from my world to yours. I'm a human."
>You can't really read her expression
>But you get the feeling that she's judging you
>"We sense... a taint. Part of you has been taken away."
>You hold out your arms
"Yeah, and it's killing me."
>You pause
"Alright, I don't know if it's really killing me. But it's freaking me out. What am I supposed to do about this?"
>"This is curious. Normally we do not address... 'humans'. But it sounds like we do owe you an answer."
"It'd be nice if you did. A zebra named Zecora gave me some sort of concoction and it knocked me out. Last time I slept, I saw Twilight messing with me. I made a noise and it was like she was... screaming in my head. She looked monstrous."
>As you speak, the void starts to mold into Twilight's room
>You stumble back as Twilight forms, in mid-screech
"What the hell is this?!"
>"A reconstruction. We wish to see what you see. This image is...twisted."
"Yeah, you know her, right? She poofed me from Applejack's farm to her place, wherever that is, then she put me into some sort of stasis. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything. It felt like it was flooding me entirely."
>The pegasus/unicorn hybrid struts with purpose to the caricature of Twilight
>And your floating body
>You hear something of a gasp
>"What is she doing to...?"
>That is something of a detail you missed
"She... is attracted to me, I have reason to believe..."
>The revelation of where the magic is glowing is evidence enough of that
>"We... see..."
"Focus, lambchop, please. She did something to me and there's magic saturation and now something's missing from me, and now... what the hell?"
"First I'm told that I'm affected from something like magical saturation by someone who can't use magic. Then I'm told by a zebra that I have some other issue or something. Now you're telling me I have a part missing. Why does no one have an answer?"
>The decidedly regal horse turns to face you
>You can see that she's concerned
>"We... are not sure. You are not a natural creature to this world. You are certainly different from anything we have ever seen. Your aura, and your dreams, are familiar but alien to us in countless ways."
>She looks back to the twisted Twilight face
>"But... Twilight is indeed the root of our quandaries.We will have to visit her."
>You shrug
"'We' as in us, or 'we' as in you and some sort of magical SWAT team?"
>"The former. We are sure that Twilight could not have hurt you in such a way. But you are indeed filled with Twilight's magic."
"Great... so will that necessarily harm me by itself?"
>You get a shrug as an answer
>"If you are not meant to handle magic, it will expel itself, or it will be need to be expelled. If you are meant to handle magic, you will need to learn to control it."
>You give a sharp, singular 'ha'
"Right... me, magical. I don't find it insulting, just crazy to believe."
>"If we did not see you, we would not have believed it ourselves."
>No further quips come to mind
>You can't honestly think of anything to ask
"So... what now? Can you help me get home? Can you help me with any of this beyond what you've done? Is there any way I could help in return?"
>You get a sad smile in return
>"You are quite kind to offer aid when you are in such a situation... but no. We can not help beyond this. But we are familiar to your aura now. If you wish it, we may protect you while you sleep. It may stop another dream like... this."
"And... if it doesn't?"
>"Then we will be here to fight it together. Return to the waking world, we will turn to our sister and seek her council."
>It seems like everyone you know is wanting to help out
>Even people you don't know
>Or ponies
>Whatever they are
"Alright... so how do I do that?"
>"I see you are already back. Have we gotten on track?"
>You open your eyes
>You're in bed
>Your nose hurts like hell
>Along with your face
"God damn... that sucked. Who let me fall like that anyway?"
>"...sorry"
>You hear Fluttershy squeak out
"Forget it. I went on some sort of spirit journey, I think... either of you ever seen a dark purple pegasus/unicorn that uses dated language?"
>"Oh, Princess Luna! She's an alicorn, and if she's helping us, it's as good as solved!"
>Even when happy, she sounds very quiet
>Kinda reminds you of how so many people ask you to speak up or repeat yourself
"Yeah... except she really didn't know what to do. She said she'd have to ask her sister. And that she can keep an eye on my dreams."
>"Princess Luna is pony royalty. At this rate you will have the support of an entire sorority!"
>Though her deep voice didn't have much inflection resembling joy, she was smiling
>You didn't feel tired anymore, which was neat
>Maybe a side-effect of the so-called Luna
>You couldn't help but shake that something big is happening on all fronts
>Enough to be something resembling a two-part episode
>But you're stuck in the same barn as before, and unable to actually participate
>So this is the feeling o being a side-bit character in a series...
"So... what now?"
>Fluttershy and Zecora look at each other
>Fluttershy gives a whistle and the barn doors open
>Dogs, cats, birds, a bear, and a lizard flood the place!
>The lizard looks kinda derpy
>It doesn't have any teeth either
>"WE PARTY!"
>The pink pony from before that kept taking a place on your lap before pops her head out from the ground like a freaking mole
>"Twilight told me you liked animals and that this would cheer you up!"
>Everyone, you included, looks at her
>"...what? Twilight didn't tell you already?"

>wat
"...wat. Twilight didn't tell me what?"
>The animals seem to chill around the barn after entering
>Zecora and Fluttershy don't seem to know what's going on
>"She said that you were feeling down in the dumps, that you were having friends over and that I should bring these speakers and then she had music that I never heard before but said that it came from where you were from and that if I played it you would be happy and that we could have more fun and Applejack would take that apple out of her-"
"Wait, hold on. What speakers?"
>"These speakers!"
>Pinkie bursts out of the ground, sitting on top of a shiny, brass speaker that's glowing purple
>The purple makes you sweat
>Four more jettison out of the ground, from the four corners of the barn
>"Oh wow... you must have put a lot of effort into this one, Pinkie."
>Fluttershy is more in idle awe than anything else
>Zecora remains stoic at the sight of the speakers, but the purple lights don't sit right with her
>They don't fit well with you either
"What's... uh... what's the song?"
>"Hit it!"
>Pinkie performs a hoofstand with one leg and all of the speakers start up instantly
>Your jaw drops
>You stand up, only to fall to your knees
>It's Jun
>It's the fucking opening to Cromartie High School!?
>It sounds crystal clear
>And it's still all in Japanese
>Pinkie sways back and forth, going from front hoof to front hoof to the guitar
>Zecora remains alert
>Flutter looks at you, perplexed at the Japanese language
>"...is this what singing is like in your world, Anon? What is it?"
>You are amazed beyond comprehension that anyone, much less Twilight fucking Sparkle, can know of this song
>But... only she could know
>Did she hear it in your head, or from your memories?
>You don't think too deeply about it
"It's... home. It's from my home."
>You listen to it in awe, as it's the full song and not just the opening
>Some of the dogs invited howl at some of the riffs even
>By the end of the song, you feel nostalgia unlike anything else
>You haven't been here for longer than a few days but in an instant you feel that exact sensation of loss, of yearning
>Pinkie flips off the speaker and lands perfectly, inches from in front of you
>She gives you a wide, pleading smile
>Her purple eyes seem so bright
>"You'll forgive her, right? Does this help?"
>You sweep her up in a hug and spin her around
"Oh hell yeah it does! This is freaking awesome!"
>The speakers suddenly rumble
>Everyone listening to it seem surprised
>The rumbling grows louder
>It's an engine revving!
>Driver's High starts blaring
"That's it, baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-beh!"
>One was blind luck, but a second followup?
>Any fatigue you felt, any depression that banged against your skull, any life you felt drain from your muscles, all were revitalized
>Everyone starts to vibe with the music, once they see you getting into it
>The language barrier does seem a little odd to get used to, surely, but the focus on the tunes brings everyone together into a feverish party
>Except Zecora
>She doesn't seem too impressed by it all since her expression really doesn't seem to change any whenever you look at her
>Though to be fair, she probably isn't the partying type
>It continues for hours without break, as if you're in a trance
>Pinkie leaves every now and again, tugging in tables on wheels that contain sweet, sour punch, water, snacks and all sorts of confections
>All of it seems ideal
>Eventually Applejack runs into the barn
>"What in tarnation is going o--"
>You sweep her up and hold her close, dancing to Today Is A Diamond
"Applejack, you've been missing it! It's been so awesome, you don't know!"
>From her panting, she sounds like she's been running everywhere
>She struggles to push herself away from you
>"Now hold on, how did any of this happen!?"
"Twilight's done it! These are songs from my home, I don't know how but she did it!"
>"Twilight?! That don't make sense, I wa--"
"I don't it doesn't! But it's here, haha!"
>The latest song finished, the speakers fade out for a few seconds... only for 24 Hour Princess to start
>"Wh-what the heck, you don't even speak in that language!"
"That means she has to have learned about it somehow! I love these songs!"
>Normally you'd probably blast them in your apartment on a day off but you'd never think you'd be so excited to hear them again
>Despite her struggling, human beats pony in terms of strength
>By the time you're done dancing with her, she's dazed, her hat is on the ground and she's smiling
>Only when you set her down does she shake her head and retrieve her hat
>"Now hold on a darn second, Anon! I spoke with Twilight, we gotta talk!"
>You sigh
"Alright... I guess we gotta figure out what her deal was, right?"
>"Don't take tooooooooooo looooooooong!"
>Pinkie screamed, hopped up on punch and leading a conga line that involves almost all of the animals in tow
>Except for the birds and that derpy looking gator
>She's wearing the gator as a hat, but at least he seems like he's digging the music going off of how his head is bobbing around
>You step out of the barn, the speakers still going
>Thankfully the barn is so far and away from everywhere else so there's not going to be any noise complaints
>"Anon, what the heck are those speakers? They're glowing purple, like they're from Twilight!"
"Oh yeah. Evidently she prepared it all as a way to make it up to me or something. Even Pinkie was in on it! She popped up like a freaking Diglet! Was that magic too, because that was cool and freaky."
>"Well.. n-no, that's kinda just how Pinkie is... but back on topic, what did Zecora and Fluttershy do? I mean... you're up and about, you're moving, you're... smiling..."
>She smiles too
>"Does this mean they did it? They helped?"
>You shrug, losing the hype from the music
"Well... no. Evidently I gulped down something and met a big pony with a horn and wings. She said that I... might be capable of using magic. Or something like that, like if I'm not meant to have it, I'll have to expel it. Like with that life saving pie of yours. Or if I am capable of having and holding magic... I guess I need to learn how to control it."
>Applejack looks at you like you've been drinking
>The sudden mood swap, the energy gain and how Twilight was behind it all just didn't seem to play well on her face
>"That's... you aren't a unicorn, how can you even use magic?"
>You shrug
"I haven't a clue. But what if, right?"
>It doesn't sound like it is a good idea to her since she doesn't seem to share your lackadaisical demeanor
>"Well... I don't like it. We gotta get you away from magic, not closer to it! That barn is absolutely flooded with it now!"
>You shrug again
"Yeah well... where's the harm if it's just residual or something? Pinkie and all of the others will be fine, right? The animals too?"
>"Well sure, but..."
"And keep the pies coming and it's all like a sieve, right?"
>"I don't think that's gonna be good, sugarcube...you can't just dip and wash it all off like water. If you keep it all near you and we don't even know for a fact what it does to you..."
>She's making a lot of sense
>You can still hear the music but it isn't really pushing you like it was before
>It feels almost like you're coming down from a high
"Yeah... well, what about your blankets and pillows and my frame? Can we move that somewhere?"
>Applejack puffs out her chest
>"Well sure as shoot can! I plan at least five steps ahead, and we can set you up something far nicer lookin' than our barn!"
>You tap your chin
"Didn't you say it was good to stay in the barn though? To make sure no one sees me who shouldn't?"
>Applejack waves a hoof at you
>"Well you're still on the orchard, and it ain't like everypony's here on a day to day basis."
>She leans toward you, grinning
>"And... if yer fit enough to dance and listen to music... tomorrow should be a breeze for work, right?"
>Color drains from your face
>You double over, clutching at your stomach
"O-oh... oh man... that punch... it punched me from the inside. Seriously."
>"Now now, we got medicine for that! You're gonna help me buck every tree in the orchard, and we're gonna buck all day!"
"Oh man, I wish I could but--"
>"Now on the count of three, we're gonna go back in there and grab that frame and I'm gonna show you where to stick it!"
"You see, I get really sleepy when-"
>"One..."
"You know you're cuter when you're counting down to z-"
>"Two..."
"Oh come on this is my favorite song! Just five more mi-"
>"Three! Saddle up!"
>After some crying and pouting that befits your status as a responsible, sensible adult, you go back into the party to drag out the wooden almost-bed
>But you both do go back into the barn to at least enjoy the more mellow afterglow of homeland music
>Twilight can't be that bad if she put all of this together

>You end up sleeping under the stars after Applejack and you drag out the bed frame and everything else she gave you
>Due to the party, you sleep pretty hard
>You don't have any weird dreams
>At least 'weird' by previous standards
>You find your thoughts going toward who started the party, Pinkie Pie
>She had the most gorgeous purple eyes
>A lot of things have been conveniently purple lately
>Or maybe it's been your imagination
>Or coincidence
>You wake up before the sun
>You feel groggy but at least you wake up without feeling something licking your neck
>sitting up, wrapped up in blankets, you scan the orchard
>Your thoughts turn to magic
>To Twilight, by proxy
>Applejack said that a lot of the trees have some sort of magic to them to allow for even winter collection, didn't she?
>And that Zecora supposedly uses some sort of shamanic magic too
>Earth ponies are a thing but so are unicorns
>But they treat magic different and have different capacities for it
>And pegasi are something else entirely
>You rest your chin on your palm while you silently recap details
>You're tempted to just ignore everything and roll with it
>Twilight, or Pinkie, or whoever brought up those speakers played music from your world
>More so, they were some of your favorite tunes
>That meant a lot to you
>You wipe your face with your tunic
>You keep forgetting that you're wearing it
>You'd think the breeze would remind you more
>You muse to yourself until you see the sun on the horizon
>You hear trotting behind you
>"Good morning Anon! You sure are an early riser."
>You nod
>Sounds like Applejack
"Yeah, I kinda woke up early. That party... does Pinkie usually do that sort of thing?"
>Applejack stops behind you
>"What, speakers, music and treats? Yeah, but that was quite a trip. Twilight sure did outdo herself, didn't she?"
"I guess so... hey, you don't sound so bothered by it now."
>You turn to look at her
>You see Applejack
>But it's just a skull
>With bright, burning purple vortexes for eyes
>"AH SAID, ¡∩OY ɹOℲ I pIp HפI˥IM,,
>The voice grates and grinds with the crackle of the bare jawbone until even the trees catch fire from the audible friction
>You shriek and flail to escape
>"Anon!"
>Your eyes open
>It's morning
>It's a bit of an overcast day so it isn't painfully bright to your eyes
>You can hear yourself hyperventilating
>Applejack's voice sounds clear as day
>"You're, uh... a funny sleeper, you know that?"
>She sounds worried
>You manage to catch your breath, the corners of your eyes blurry with tears
>You try to laugh but it comes out as some manic panicked sound
"Yeah! Y-yeah... m-man that party wiped me out. Ha ha... man you ponies sure know how to go for it, you know?"
>You laugh it all out of your system, no matter how pathetic it sounds
>By the end you're pretty sure you're forcing it to help sound normal
"T-that party, huh... d-does Pinkie usually do that sort of... uh... thing?"
>You repeat what you said before to her
>You tempt fate and wipe your eyes before turning to her
>She looks normal
>She looks worried
>She looks like she's staring at someone that she doesn't know how to help
>"Yeah... she's a real party pony. Zecora told me all about it. Fluttershy too. I'm glad you had a great time but..."
>You can tell that she's struggling to say something
>Or to not say something
>"You... gotta help me today, and if you're so pooped out from one of her normal parties, I know you wouldn't survive a really big bash!"
>She lets out her own laugh, but it sounds unnatural
>She purses her lips after realizing her wording
"Yeah... yeah, I've been really dragging my feet with this sort of stuff. I'm sorry. I really didn't anticipate getting stuck or distracted."
>You wipe your eyes again with your tunic, sitting up
>"Anon, I... no... you don't have to apologize for anything. Please don't apologize."
>She picks up something with her mouth
>Something wrapped up in a bright red bandanna
>She sets it on the corner of the frame
>"It's to get your strength up to par. We're gonna be busy today and I reckon we can sweat all of your worries out!"
>She sounds hopeful
>You reach to feel it and it has the particular shape of a pie
>Still hot too
>You gingerly unravel it and drag it closer to your body, keeping it on one of the quilts
"Thanks... hey... what did Zecora have to say? She didn't seem all that happy whenever I looked at her."
>You recall dancing like mad
>You don't even remember when you ever had that sort of hyperactive energy
>Not that you were all that lazy
>"Well... she said that you were all over the place. Happy. But she said that she was concerned that you were... compelled to..."
"Compelled to party? Wouldn't that be Pinkie's super power or something if she's used to doing that?"
>"Well that's the other thing... Fluttershy told me that Pinkie seemed different too. She doesn't normally have purple eyes. I mean, she gets into costumes and makeup and a lot of really silly outfits. But they seemed like they were glowing from magic."
>Applejack keeps her eyes on you
>"Possibly Twilight's magic."
>You shrug
"So... what does that mean? Twilight is also the one who made those speakers pop up out of the ground too, right? Or does Pinkie have that ability too?"
>You shift yourself
>It doesn't give you a good feeling in your stomach to think that there's collaboration
>But the look in her eyes when she spoke to you
"She asked me if I would forgive her."
>"Come again?"
"Pinkie. She looked at me like she was sorry and asked if I would forgive her. But maybe she meant Twilight? I don't remember Pinkie doing anything wrong."
>That look is fresh in your mind
>It was sweet
>Genuinely sweet
>"Well... eat up, alright? I ain't letting you out of my sight for a second today!"

>You eat up, glad to have some food that isn't pure sugar
>Almost fitting your thoughts, this pie tastes a little less sweet than before
>Still apple, obviously, but no cinnamon to it
>You think so, anyway
"Another one of those magic-sapping pies, right? I may need some severe draining..."
>You sit with your legs crossed and idly grab the corner of the front flap of your tunic to wipe your face
>Applejack looks like she was about to say something but only a choked "fwoah!" comes out
>She sputters out something while you refocus on eating the pony's pie
"Something up?"
>She laughs and waves her hoof dismissively
>"I think you might be onto something, partner. I had some other things to do this morning so I had Applebloom skimp on some of the sugars since I saw some of what you were eating at Pinkie's party. Is it pretty good?"
>It's a pretty ideal size, though the last fifth of it, mostly the side of crust, is pushing past your comfort zone
"Oh yeah, for sure. Mind if I come back to this after an hour or two?"
>You scoot off the bed and stretch in front of her
>Some of your points audibly pop
>Maybe you're flexing just a little to try to impress her
>Your arms raised up, you notice that she isn't looking up at you
>Not at all
>You clear your throat
"Ready to buck like crazy?"
>Applejack jumps at your words, her face contorted into one of shock
>"W-what?!"
>You get the idea of what's going on in her head
"Apples, right? Bucking with both legs planted firmly on the ground."
>Your eyes narrow while sticking to hers
"Hard enough to make the damned trees shake. You feel me?"
>"Sweet mother of Celestia, I've been waiting for this for days now."
>She says in the most blank, serious tone
"Well then, let's get right down to it. Where's the first tree and what do we collect apples in?"
>Your question absolutely confuses her
>"Wut?"
"The apples. We're gonna go collect them, right? Do you have some sort of wagon or machine or... something we can collect them in?"
>After a small explanation of what to do, you help Applejack get out a pair of wagons
>They're pony-sized so they don't look massive, but supposedly apples 'stack well'
>Given the size difference, you drag around your wagon with a little rope
>You kinda feel like a kid, dragging around something so small
>At least you make your stop at the first row
>The plan is that you and her go through all of the rows and shake loose whatever is ready
>Evidently if it comes off the tree, it's good and matured enough
>You don't know enough about how apples work to question her ways
"So... how do we do this?"
>"Psh, like this."
>Applejack struts to her first tree and shakes herself loose from her wagon
>"Heeee-yaw!"
>With enough force to break your shins in half, she bucks with her back legs hard enough to make the tree vibrate
>Conveniently enough, all of the apples fall out directly into the wagon
>"Come on now, you got it with that big body of yours. Let's see what you got?"
>You face your tree
"Alright... man versus nature. Believe in the craft."
"Waa-tah!"
>You palm strike the tree!
>An apple, singular, falls out in front of you
>It doesn't even look that appetizing
>You hear a snicker behind you
>"Oh come on! Beat it like it owes you bits!"
>You glare at the tree
"Alright you son of a birch, let's do it"
>You take a step back and charge forward!
>Another palm strike!
>Critical hit!
>Another apple falls out and lands perfectly on your arm
>It has a hole in it
>"Aw sugarcube... you know it's fine if you can't do it! Took me years to perfect my skill and you can't just do it overnight you know."
>This is humiliating
>And frustrating
>Tossing the trash apple to the side you take a step back
>You raise your leg and lunge forward, moving like you're going to kick in a door!
"Fuck you!"
>You lean in when you feel yourself connect
>The tree itself seems to shift, almost like it's going to erupt from the earth or snap in half
>You remove your leg and are rewarded with a small shower of apples
>Some look better than others, but sure enough it looks like you kicked the shit out of it
>Or at least the apples
>The slight condescending words from before don't come this time
>"D-dang... you sure bucked that one into next week."
>You huff and look down at the apples
"So... which ones do I grab now?"
>You and Applejack sort through the spoils
>It's a far cry from efficient, compared to her, but it's pretty decent you think
>You both move of your wagons to the next tree
>As before, she masterfully strikes the very soul of the oak, sending almost a dozen apples directly into her wagon
>She smirks at her wagon and looks expectantly at you
>You're still a little frustrated since you expect her to look down at you
"Alright motherbucker. I'm going to kick the shit out of you and you're gonna give me the sweet stuff or I'm going to personally chop you down, ignite you with the sheer power of will and use you to boil whatever tea these little neighsayers drink. You got that?"
>The tree solemnly swears to ignore you
>You inhale
"Alrighty then."
>You kick with a half turn, striking the side of the tree with your shin
>You immediately drop down
>Why the fuck would you kick a tree like that
>You aren't even wearing any protective gear
>At least as you drop, apples drop around you
"Jesus..."
>Applejack laughs at you
>It certainly isn't with you
>"You gotta be consistent, Anon! If I bucked every apple tree five different ways I'd never learn how to do it well just once!"
"Yeah, yeah... save me the sermon... god damn it."
>"Hey, check it out though! A lot of the apples that came down look good!"
>You can hear shuffling around behind you
>You glance around and sure enough, a good chunk of what fell is pretty prim and proper looking
>You look at your shin while Applejack collects the haul
>Is it really that sanitary if she's picking up everything with her mouth?
>How do they cook and all that, anyway?
>You shake the thought out of your head
"So... I'm not getting out of this unless I break my legs?"
>Applejack scoffs
>"I said you ain't leaving my sight today so you better harden up buttercup. These trees ain't gonna bite, you just gotta get used to it."
>You are used to physical labor but you're hardly capable of emptying out half an orchard through aggression
"Alright fine..."
>You sigh and shed yourself of your tunic
>You wrap the fabric around your shin, using the flap to tie it all together
>It looks a little shoddy, but it's pretty tight
>You're gonna need the protection anyway
>You stand up, deciding to yourself that you're good to go
"Alright, if I can't walk by the end of today I'm gonna rely on you to drag me back."
>"Alright you big baby, as long as you don't shirk... off..."
>She stares at you, dropping an apple she was in mid-pick up
>You aren't the most fit man in the world
>You're far more strong than fast, and your muscles look far more thick than lean
>The first tree can attest to that, if it felt like commenting
>But you're sorta pale in a lot of places
>"..."
"Now how's about them apples. Let's get going, I'm only comfortable if I can make this more awkward for you than for me."
>Since she is a horse, it's not like you're going to have all that many thoughts pop up
>But it has been a day or two now since... whenever
>Feeling more and more frustrated than humbled, you drag your wagon to the next tree
>Applejack flings the apple she first failed to pick up into her own wagon and picks up her pace
>You proceed to kick the shit out of the rest of the row of trees
>While Applejack's wagon is perfectly balanced and stacked high, your wagon ends up looking like a mess of various colored and sized apples
>The row finished, you both retrieve a new pair of empty wagons
>Limping a little, you side-kick tree after tree
>A kick for being drawn into this world
>A kick for Twilight magically probing your soul for an entire day
>A kick for all of that magical saturation affecting you
>A kick for each nightmare you've had
>A kick or Zecora giving you that nasty tasting shit
>A kick for that dream pony that hasn't helped you with your nightmares
>A kick for Applejack for making fun of you
>A kick for being stuck
>A kick for being helpless
>A kick for the anger
>A kick for the worry
>A kick for the fear of never going back home
>A kick for a chance of revenge
>A kick for good measure
>At the last tree of the second row, you practically run at the tree and kick it
>You kick the tree so hard it actually snaps
>It lurches over to the side, crying in astonished silence
>It's not completely broken in half but the damage is done
>You hear a gasp behind you
>"Anon! What the heck?!"
>You spin to face her her, the kicking having spurred you to a high level of outright fury
"W͘H̴̛͜A̡͘͞T̷͠"
>Your practically scream at her
>She takes a defensive stance, staring at you in disbelief
>"Y...your eyes, Anon."
>You bring one of your dirtied hands up to your face and rub your eyes
"What, what's in them?"
>You look at her again
>"They were... uh... a little more purple than usual."
>You were bursting with energy, everywhere
>You were absorbed in your thoughts and the process
>Now you just feel self-conscious
>You blink your eyes multiple times, rubbing them again
"No... no they weren't. I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated, I..."
>You kneel down, the pain in your leg coming back all at once
>It didn't even feel like it hurt during the entire row but now that you lost your concentration, it all came back
>"Hey now, no need to apologize. Bucking's a mighty fine job if you got a lot of frustrations pent up, you know? But that... that was a little weird. You ok?"
"Yeah... I'm alright. I just need a little break."
>You were getting to the point that it was kinda fun, like some kung fu training montage taking place
>Then it felt like it was like a way to vent frustrations
>Then it felt like it was instead fueling your frustrations
>Sweating in the early noon sun, you gingerly rub your shin
"I was thinking of Twilight, I guess. I was thinking about a lot of things."
>"Yeah, I can see why thinking of her would rile you up... how did you feel? Nothing else looked weird about you but that was kinda spooky."
"I don't know. Nothing hurt. I felt stronger. I felt more motivated. I wanted release."
>A funny expression plays on her face, since she looks your body over
>"Yeah, I'll say."
"The longer I went, the more that momentum filled up. Is this normal? Aren't I supposed to be losing magic since I had that pie?"
>Applejack shrugs, moving to collect the apples you kicked loose
>"I haven't a clue, sugarcube. Maybe you're supposed to have some. You ain't a unicorn but you share similarities to them."
>You look at her flank and begin to ask a question, only to see her tail flicker to the side
>You see something that doesn't normally come to mind but for some reason it stands out
"...ha... ha..."
>You tear your eyes away, trying to ignore her actions and your reactions
>"I ain't gonna punish you for, uh... overbucking the tree. But these things are grown to last, you know?"
"Well how the hell am I supposed to know how much is too much?"
>"I ain't bickering at you none! I just didn't know how strong you really were. Strength is a scary thing to those not used to it. To those who are... it's just potential."
>You remove the tunic from your shin
>It's a little worse for wear, due to part of it scraping up against so much tree bark
>Your shin looks a little brown
>Not that bad for bruising but it looks pretty big
"Yeah well... if it were lifting or carrying or stuff I'm used to, I'd be more used to it. This kung fu carpentry shit isn't something anyone from my world would do."
>You sigh and lean back, letting the breeze cool your body off
>Applejack eventually finishes picking the best apples and adding them to your wagon
>She leaves one and kicks it toward you
>"Snack with your break, greenhorn?"
"Lay off... I'm pent up and letting it out in dangerous ways."
>The earth pony sits near you, nudging the apple against your leg
>"And what's a less than dangerous way to let it out?"
>You look at her
>She's smiling
>Not a normal smile
"I suppose it depends."
>"On?"
"Who's watching."
>Both of you look around
>As wide and as big as the rows and columns are, not a single person or pony is visible
>"You know... how we were talking about big families?"
>Applejack steps between your legs
>"It's a plan I have of having one, myself. More helping hooves, more room to grow... can finally work to expanding the orchard. I haven't ever seen another young buck buck apples as hard as you have. You're very strong, Anon... I like strong. If we can cultivate some skill, you'll make me look like an awkward filly trying to bump an apple off from the top of a shelf."
>The way she's talking is stoking a fire inside
>The way she's looking at you is inescapable
"...you know, I'd like at least three. Could go up to six if all works well."
>She spins around
>Her tail flickers and her backside is exposed
>"Don't you worry about counting and stopping on a number. Just buck."

>Time passes for you and Applejack
>By the end of it, you're both relaxing against the broken tree
>You feel... content
>Applejack looks just as happy, looking up at the sky
>"You know... I know it's selfish... but I really would not be against it if you stayed here. We gotta get you a better place to sleep, of course... and I gotta properly introduce you to everyone. Hur hur... can you imagine the look on everyone's faces?"
>She sounds almost giddy
>You pat her flank, giving her a jolt
"Honestly? Staying here really wouldn't be that bad, provided you stick around me."
>Maybe your head isn't in the right place but you do like how open the fields are, and how nice the weather has been
>This whole magic business... what if you can control something like that?
>Could be a fucking Isekai situation for all you know
>Actually that thought sends a chill up your spine
>You aren't dead
>No way
"Hey Applejack..."
>You want to ask if you're dead or not
>But you know that wouldn't come out right
"My leg's a bit tender but we only got two rows done. Should we continue?"
>Applejack looks at the wagons, then at you
>"You ain't exactly got a lot going for you on the bucking part... and truth be said, I'm kinda afraid you might kill another one of the trees here."
>You start to speak but she cuts you off
>"And that ain't no fault of your own, I know you didn't mean it... maybe it's that magic that's still in you."
>You shift uncomfortably in place
>The scent of mare on you is certainly new, but that doesn't bug you as much as it would compared to someone more normal
"...maybe I gotta talk to Twilight again. It's been a few days now, and she had a hand in that party. Maybe it'll be alright."
>Applejack, visibly uncomfortable with the idea, gets up and stares at you
>Her hind legs are just a little wobbly
>"Now hold on, you can't seriously expect that! What if she does that crazy magic crud to you again?! You know, you're still having nightmares too!"
"I know... trust me, I know. But maybe she's had a breakthrough. She found a way to get all of those songs to come out through those speakers, right? That means she has to know something about my world by now. And what if I can use that magic stuff for something useful? Even some of the trees here use it for the yields or something, right? Even Zecora uses it... everyone has some form of it, so what if me being here leads to having that too in some form or another?"
>She looks over you like she's trying to find a hole in your argument but nothing comes up
"If you join me, you can make sure nothing funny happens, right? Didn't you say you'd talk to others about it too?"
>She still doesn't seem to happy about it but she doesn't have any arguments
"Does that sound good?"
>"If it was your magic, why would it be Twilight's color?
>You shrug
"I have no clue. Why, does every unicorn have their own color or something?"
>"Kinda, yeah."
>That sounds kinda silly to you
"Well... in that case she can siphon it out of me. Or maybe help me use some of it for something useful.I don't know... there's gotta be some way this can work."
>There's a bit of desperation in your voice
>You need there to be some sort of good news with this
>You can't be some hopeless, helpless sort that's relegated to kicking trees and spending your spare time having nightmares
>Applejack nuzzles her face against yours
>"You'll be alright. 'Cause I'll make sure of it. Twilight tries anything and I'll... I'll..."
>Her voice falters
>"I'll... make her sorry. That's for sure..."
>It sounds like she's trying to force herself to say that
"Yeah... you're the only one I can trust fully, AJ. I don't know about anyone else. But you, I know will be in my corner."
>She pulls her face away, beaming
>"Yer darn right I am! I'm the best pony you could ever have in the world! Just watch, I'll take care of everything and then some!"
>You can't help but laugh
"Yeah, I'll take your word for it. How do we even contact Twilight anyway? Does she just pop up whenever or is there some sort of bat signal?"
>You flinch, almost expecting her to pop up out of nowhere
>Applejack looks around, unsure of what you were expecting
>"Er... something up?"
"It's nothing. Just getting paranoid I guess."
>Her tail flickers around
>She looks over you
>You still don't have your tunic back on
>"Say... why don't we take a break and you can go get washed up? Might be a little soon for everyone to know that we're, uh... you know."
>She gives an embarrassed smile
>You nod
"Yeah, I kinda prefer daily bathing... this hasn't been optimal."
>You lean over to the side
"What about you? Gonna take a bath too?"
>Applejack lets out a loud, awkward laugh and shakes her head
>"Ah ha ha...no, I took a bath this morning. No need to do anything."
"But what about--"
>"There's nothing that needs to be cleaned up, trust me!"
>You give her a queer look
"But...?"
>"Nothing needs to be done. Trust me."
>The last two words she speaks are spoken slowly
>You clear your throat
"Well... alright. where can I go take a bath?"
>"Well get up and I'll show you!"
>Fair enough
>You stand up, dusting yourself
>You clear your throat and kick some dirt over a portion of the ground
>Applejack crooks an eyebrow at your action, only to scrunch her face
>Picking up on it, she turned away from you and kicked up a cloud, letting out a loud, obvious series of coughs
"Right... ready?"
>"I'd say so, let's go!"
>You let Applejack lead you away from the rows of trees
>After a few steps, you turn your head
>You thought you heard something
>No one could have been around so you let the thought pass

>Following Applejack, you've seen more of your new world than you thought possible
>Away from the barn is yet another, bigger barn that's adorned with apple-shaped decorations
>Even so far away, you can make out the characteristic shape
>The ground is starting to get far more hilly too
>The air is clean at least
"Hey App, where are we going?"
>Applejack gallops ahead at your question, to the top of a hill
>You chase after, huffing as you go
>You can think clearly, you don't feel all that muddled anymore
>You're not completely sure if you were in your most proper mindset with Applejack earlier
>But you don't regret it either
>When you reach her, you see the hill dip into a steep valley
>A pond is at the bottom
>A quick glance around shows that you must have left the orchard
>You must've left the entire property now
"That's quite a secret spot... why here?"
>"It's a special spot that I found, back when I was a filly and charting a map of everywhere around Sweet Apple Acres. Even back then I had a dream of expanding to the point that we can grow and raise everything. I always told myself that when I'm finally ready for a family, I'd show my handsome, strong young buck it. So no matter how much may change, we will always have our own little spot."
>She looks at you with a warm smile
>"What do you think of it?"
>You are at an utter loss for words
>Sweet Apple Acres sounded like a mouthful
>You feel your stomach drop
>She's been very proud and open to you, and what she's said is... above and beyond anything you've ever been told before
>"Anon? Come on, don't leave me hangin'!"
>She grins at you, coaxing out an answer
>You must look shellshocked or something
"Yeah... yeah, I like it."
>You sit down at the top of the hill
>More like you fall with some semblance of dexterity
"I... I don't know what to say. That's a really big thing to say, you know? I've never had anyone say something a tenth as... important as that."
>Applejack beams and nudges your shoulder with her hoof
>"So you like it then."
>What about going back home?
>To be honest, outside of media and old world ways, would you genuinely miss if you didn't go back?
>What would you have to gain, going back to working for a living versus starting a family and owning land?
>You look at the orange pony
>It is a pony
>You haven't a single clue how you'd even have kids
>But then magic exists too
"Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Depending on the weather, we might wanna look into installing some sort of steps or path. Something that wouldn't bring much attention to it so any overhead view wouldn't exactly give it away."
>Applejack bucks the air, giving a sharp 'yee-haw!'
>"Now see, that's what I'm talking about! One view and yer already planning a future for it!"
>She leaps against you, wrapping her front legs around you
>"I almost gotta thank Twilight for this one... minus all of that magic crud she's done to you."
>You chuckle and hug her back
"Glad to see you haven't forgiven her completely."
>The hug remains
>For a lot longer than you thought
>You can tell that she's very emotionally involved
>But you don't feel the same
>Not because it doesn't sound great but because you just feel so unsure of your future
"So... why didn't you wanna share a bath with me?"
>Applejack gives you one last squeeze before letting go
>"Because I'm gonna fix us up something real good for a lunch and we're gonna share a meal up here with absolutely no one around! It's a real good idea, and while I'm prepping up some of the best recipes we got, you can take a dip and clean up body and mind."
>You cock an eyebrow
"You think that water's gonna be that good for me?"
>She chuckles
>"Well you're gonna be thinking of me, ain't you? That'll help you a whole ton!"
>You can't argue with that
>You stand up, stretching
>Your leg is discolored from the kicking but it doesn't bother you at the moment
"Sounds like a plan. How about I swooce my way down and go for a swim, you work your magic, we enjoy ourselves and... go back to bucking...?"
>Applejack gives you a much wider grin
>"Oh you bet, bucko."
>You were referring to the trees but her energy is encouraging
"Sounds like a plan! I'll get to it. I'll be here and for the record, I know how to swim... there isn't anything down there, right?"
>She shrugs
>"It always looked clear to me so nothing more than a bug or something?"
>She bumps her head against your knee
>"Worst thing that happens is that I save you and you reward me."
"Ha, my hero."
>With that, you finally split paths
>You focus more on finding the best route down
>When you look back after a few steps, she's gone
>You're alone again
>You end up taking a bit of a winding path to make sure you don't slip and fall
>By the time you reach the edge of the pond, you can tell that the water is clear
>Far more so than any pond or lake you've seen back in your world
>You leave your tunic a few yards away from the edge and slip in
>It's cool
>You slip in fully until you're up to your chest
>It goes deeper yet but you feel pretty good about not being completely at the mercy of whatever's lurking in the depths
>Call it an innate fear
>You end up floating on your back after the initial fear passes
>The sky looks so clear
>You even see a random pegasus flying by, leaving behind a rainbow or something
"This is one trippy world... what's going to happen to me? Twilight spooks the shit right out of me. Applejack is... really sweet. I could use something more than a tunic too."
>You see something out of the corner of your eye
>You go upright and see what looks like a fucking shark fin
"Oh fuck."
>You feel a hard rush of cold panic go through you
>You want to start swimming as fast as you can but you're paralyzed
>The fin starts to reveal more of itself to you
>The creature of the pond is coming straight for you
>Move
>Move fucker
>MOVE FUCKER IT'S COMING TO YOU
>Your body tenses up
>You're gonna die but you're going to beat the fuck out of it or scream like a little girl trying
>You raise one of your fists and let out a primal roar!
>The shark's head rises out of the water and lets out it's own scream
>Her own scream
>The shark is Pinkie Pie
>You both scream at each other for two completely different reasons
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH WHY ARE WE SCREAMIIIIIING"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
>"I'M HERE TO SURPRISE YOU!"
>You want to shout at her more but something sticks out to you
>Her eyes aren't purple
"Hey, what happened to your eyes?"
>Pinkie Pie bugs out her eyes at you before rubbing her chin with her hoof
>"Oh, that must be due to Twilight. She isn't watching us this time."
>Wait what
>You feel a chill go down your spine
"Wait... what do you mean watching us?"
>"Well she helped set up the party yesterday for me! In exchange, she wanted me to make sure you were having fun, and boy were you! You're a regular party animal! "
>That made sense
>You kinda already knew that Twilight had a hand in it, but she was watching through Pinkie's eyes too?
"Was she... experiencing the party through you?"
>Pinkie nods
>You can almost hear something rattling around in her head
>"Sure did! She kept telling me to kiss and do other stuff to you but I couldn't while other people were watching!"
"Wait, what?"
>Before you know it, she pushes her face against yours
>You taste cotton candy and something warm whip around inside your mouth
>She pulls away, beaming
>You're at a loss of how to react
>"Now that was from Twilight!"
>What
"...why are you doing that now that she can't... see that? Or whatever she did?"
>"Well that's easy! She'd get jealous! But I felt what she felt and after the party I know sure why she likes you so much now!"
>You try to swim backward
>She's swimming forward, with the grace of a duck
>"Twilight doesn't want you to fall for Applejack's 'evil seductive schemes' but she's ok with me being her eyes and hooves on the outside because she's super busy researching more about you and your world so you don't have to leave since you'll have everything you could ever want here, wouldn't that be awesome?"
>She speaks almost too fast to understand
>But she did say 'evil seductive schemes' with a deep voice, as if it were more a joke than anything else
>"And I know that if I promise to be her eyes and keep both of those eyes on you, she won't need to overextend herself and keep her magic on me!"
"You're letting yourself be a freaking puppet? How's that supposed to be good?"
>"Because, it means I get to be around you more! And as long as she isn't looking through my eyes... whatever we do is kept hidden, even from her."
>You back up until you're sitting in the shallows
>Pinkie looks at you with a sultry smile
>"I saw you bucking wood with Applejack, you know... Twilight would turn you both into trees for that. Thankfully she doesn't have to know..."
"What the hell does that mean? She wouldn't really do that, right?"
>Pinkie giggles out something that sounds like the part of a song
>"Probably not! But still... I like you, Anon. I wanna have more parties with you, whether or not anyone else is invited or anyone else is watching and telling me to do things for their shared experience. The last time Twilight read my mind she had a headache for five days so my noggin is like a steel trap!"
"Nothing in, nothing out?"
>Your voice is unimpressed
>She snorts and laughs at your answer
>"You're funny too!"
>You feel a pair of hooves rest on your knees
>"How about it, Anon? Private party and Twilight doesn't find out that you bucked apple seeds into Applejack? I'm dressed like a shark, you don't even have to act like I'm here..."
>You don't have it in you to answer her
>"You can even hold me by the fin!"

>For some reason, the way Pinkie offered her fin for you to hold was tempting
>The gaze she gave you was that of pure mischief
>Seductive mischief, but still
>You can't find the strength to push her away but your mind is reeling for some sort of excuse
>Applejack can't see this
>You know that she's not going to skin you, but you don't fully trust her
>You also don't know what the hell Twilight would do to you
>Before Pinkie can open her mouth and proverbially seal the deal, you stammer out something
"T-tonight! Party idea tonight!"
>Pinkie looks up at you, her mouth open
>She sticks her tongue out before smiling
>"A party! What kind?"
"A, I, uh... a party I've had at home before. You don't tell Twilight, you... go off however you got here. And tonight we head to the barn, just the two of us. We make use of those speakers and... I'll tell you more when it happens. But you have to keep it a secret!"
>You watch her like a hawk while the wheel inside her head turns
>It's almost as if she's thinking if she should ignore you and act like a shark and eat, or if she should listen and act like a pony
>However a pony acts when she's been able to swim and dig underground without a speck of dirt on her
>Her eyes lock onto yours
>She leans forward just a bit more
>The expression in her eyes cause a reaction
>There is contact between you and the very tip of her tongue
>In that instant, you scramble away while she giggles like mad
>"A private party probably packed with prickly rolls in the hay! I love it!"
>She practically jumps and lands on top of the water itself
>"I'll bring snacks and drinks and, oh! We're gonna need mood music too and all sorts of neat things I gotta prepare!"
>Before you have the capacity to tell what the hell, she gallops off at full speed, the shark fin splitting in half to form some hackneyed glider
>"I'll be baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!"
>You sit there, in the shallows of the water
>Naked as the day you were born
>Whatever Pinkie did, it wasn't magic
>But it was enough to make you question your sanity
>After it hits, you just crack
>You laugh
>You laugh hard
>You're not sure if you find it funny but God damn it, you're laughing harder than you ever have before
>A pink pony nearly gobbled you whole, only to run off so fast that she could fly into the air
>And you gotta find a party theme to top it off
>You don't intent to scream it but you can't control your tone
"What the FUCK is even going on?!"
>You thrash around to expel all of the pent up adrenaline-fed energy you and end up on your back
>Floating in the shallows
>You don't want to go deeper into the water because you don't want anyone else to ambush you or do worse
>You just watch the sky for a while
>You try to relax, and you do
>To an extent
>Every time you see something even vaguely purple, you flinch
>You do get around to closing your eyes, when you focus all of your thoughts on calming your breathing
>Applejack will be back soon, with food
>Probably food that will get rid of any magic buildup you have in you
>Fuck how that works but the more the better, right?
>After that, she can help you feel more normal
>And go from there
>Your leg still hurts
>Your thoughts start to space out
>This is comfy
>Fuck
>FUCK
>You bolt upright, your eyes shooting open
>You're still exactly where you were, but you were getting to be too comfy
>You can't fall asleep again so soon
>Even if Twilight doesn't come or something else happens, you really do not want to risk it
>You sit up, grumbling to yourself
>You could go for a good nap but you just don't trust anyone enough to just saunter off to dream land
>You loudly yawn and decide to just sit there
>It works for a few minutes, then you remember that you're severely out of your element
>You've gone camping before, but you've also been able to take a nap without too much worry beyond snakes or spiders
"Doesn't at all compare to fucking dick sucking ponies but what do I know, right?"
>"Well gosh Anon, that doesn't sound like that compares to all that you were thinking about..."
>A particular accented female voice replies behind you
>You give a startled yelp and splash away, turning to the source
>It's Applejack
>Of course it is
>Who else would it be?
>You see that she has a pair of woven baskets on her back, along with a big blanket that's folded a few times over
>"You're getting pretty jumpy... y'alright, sugarcube?"
>You want to try to explain things but you end up just bringing your arms up and shrugging with an unconvincing 'eh?'
"I'm... I'm a bit stressed right now. A lot of this stuff has been happening and I kinda feel like I'm just not in control of anything. Like everyone has some fucking scheme for me and I'm just along for the ride."
>You look at the freckled pony, almost expecting an answer
>She opens her mouth to give one but stops herself
>"I--uh... you will find a way. And I'll help! I ain't gonna push you into anything, no siree, but I will give you the tools to do it!"
>She nods at the end, her hat jostling back and forth
>At least she's convinced
>You watch her, not so moved
>Waiting for a response, she only smiles wider
"Yeah... yeah, I appreciate you doing that for me."
>You shake your head in resignation
"I felt like I was stuck out here for at least a full week. I wanted to take a nap but I just couldn't keep to it. Kinda felt like if I did, I'd end up at Twilight's again or something."
>As soon as she heard 'Twilight', she saunters up to you, water barely touching her hooves
>"Well get you out of that water, dry your hands and help yourself to some good stuff! And I got food for us too!"
>You laugh with a single 'ha' and shake your head
"You're really something, you know that?"
>You practically crawl out of the water and sit on some nearby grass, taking the baskets and blanket off from her back
>With a few flicks of the wrist, you lay out the red and white blanket
>It is an actual blanket, but it feels rough and sturdy
>Kinda like a horse blanket
>Applejack lays on it, watching you sit down near her
"Applejack... I just wanna say 'thank you'. I really mean it. You don't know just how bad it is with all of this."
>You lazily shake your head
>Or maybe it's just mental fatigue
"I mean, not all of it, all of it. You're a real blessing. Pinkie too. And Zecora and whoever the hell. But this has been almost a nightmare too."
>You lean against her and immediately feel her lean against you too
>You watch the surface of the water, thinking of how Pinkie could have even found you out here
"I don't know if it's the magic, the sights, the others. But it has just been really messing with me. It's hard to get used to here, you know?"
>Applejack nods against you, the rim of her hat rubbing against your side
>You pluck it off of her and put it to the side
>She appropriately pushes more of her head against you
"You're... the only sense of normalcy I have. And even then, that doesn't feel like a lot. But it is a huge deal to me. And I just wanna say that I'm glad you're here."
>You look down at her and see just... a split second of a manic grin on her face
>You try to ignore it because it's probably just your imagination but your mouth still twitches into a dire frown for just a moment
>"W-what's wrong, Anon?"
>Her face is that of concern but her tone is of pure joy
>You're afraid that she's in on it
>You're absolutely fucking terrified that she isn't really looking out for you
>You block out the thoughts as hard as you can
>She's your normalcy
"So, uh... what did you bring down for lunch again? I feel like I'm kinda slow today."
>Applejack leans to the side and bits down onto one of the baskets, dragging it close
>"Your favorite! This time I made it a bit more of a mix. Apple pie and potato, something a bit more hearty. You liked the potatoes, right, so I thought we could try new recipes and build up a book. You know, like what families do when they're still laying down groundwork."
>You chuckle and nod
"Yeah... every recipe begins as just some random mixture, right?"
>You pop the top and see that there's a bit of whipped cream on it, with a cherry on top
"Heh, special occasion for the cherry?"
>Applejack just chuckles and nuzzles her face into your arm
>"I'll let you just wonder on that one."
>You hesitate to ask
>But you ask anyway
"It's... uh, whatever that anti-magic stuff is that you have, right?"
>"Oh you better believe it!"
"Good... nice. Thank you."
>The pie's sliced too, you didn't notice that before
>Presumably with a knife
"Hey, uh... did you bring any utensils or something? Eating with my hands isn't too bad but I'm kinda starting to miss having a little something to poke my grub with."
>"Yeah, I had a feeling since... you know, swimming and stuff. Check the napkin underneath the pie"
>She speaks but her eyes are closed
>Your nuzzled arm is more or less magnetized to her now
"I appreciate that."
>"I'll make you appreciate far, far more soon too, just you wait."
>You hear that
>It wasn't a whisper
>You are not sure how to respond to that either
>But she is reliable
>She has helped
>Even if something doesn't gel with you, she is your safest lifeline and you'd be crazy to flush that down the toilet
>You just really hope that she doesn't change her mind about you

>You spend the rest of the day down in the little circular valley with Applejack
>There was minor talk about getting back to bucking apples, but both of you had genuine concerns about damaging anymore trees
>Neither of you had any answers as to why you were evidently making use of magic but you weren't too happy to have it
>Sure, you could view it as having super powers
>But they would be from Twilight
>It could lead to her being able to see through your eyes, like she's done with Pinkie
>And worse
>You presume that she's always capable of doing worse
>You would be utterly crazy to not believe that she would do worse
>Given the time and place, you end up far closer to Applejack as well
>With it being your newly dubbed secret place, there's no need to worry about hiding evidence
>When the sun begins to set, you both make your way up, happy and content
>While the mixture of apple and potato in pie crust with some cinnamon is unusual, you can't help but love it
>Just as she feels pride in making it for you, you feel pride in having something so delicious made for you
>Not just anyone, but for you
>While part of her worries you, what she's done and spoken about has just been your weakness
>She's like the girlfriend you never had
>Just... a pony
>That talks
>And cooks
>After giving your tunic a wash in the pond and letting it dry out, you wear it while walking back to the orchard
>It looks visibly worse for wear
"So Applejack, what are you gonna do about those speakers that popped up in the barn? I kinda wanna see if I can get those to work again. Did you hear those tunes that came out?"
>She looks at you with palpable irritation
>"You mean you want to fiddle around with Twilight's magic-infused gadgets? How do we know that's safe?"
"We... don't..."
>You visibly deflate and sigh
"Well... there's still a chance that it'll at least play music. And I miss that stuff."
>You did promise Pinkie some sort of barn party, so you have another reason to be in there
"We've been having that anti-magic stuff going through my gullet, right? If I haul those out of the ground or something, that'll at least... uh... decontaminate the barn, right? We gotta do that anyway."
>Your argument is sound
"Obviously, I won't be staying stuck in there, but if we could somehow renovate it..."
>You shrug
"Well, it wouldn't be the worst place. Barns aren't the best for insulation but if..."
>You feel a bitter taste in your mouth
"If... there's no way for me to go to and from here back to my place, I gotta get something comfy, right?"
>There's no real great way to broach the topic of being homesick without shooting down the talk of all sorts of things that couples do
>But... you're not really a couple
>Not yet anyway you guess
>Applejack doesn't ever reply to you, and you can't see most of her face due to her hat's positioning
"...if I have nightmares again tonight. Could I rely on you to help me?"
>The idea of her cuddling up to you at night passed by but you didn't want to be that overt
>"Well of course you can, Anon. I just... don't trust Twilight on this sort of thing. She's a really good friend, you know. But this... you... she's really just crossed the line on it. I don't know what's going on in her head. You really do belong to be home, and with your own kind of people..."
"But... to be completely honest, I've never met a female of my kind that's a fraction as good as you've been to me. And honestly, if I could get a few select things to take with me? Fuck my world, man."
>You let out a loud laugh
>Applejack looks at you with complete confusion
>"Uh... what? Why wouldn't you miss your home? Your own kind of people?"
>You snort and shrug
"Please. Do you know how much my world sucks? I've seen... excessively little of what's here. But I like it. And I like you."
>You pause but don't think before continuing
"And even Twilight is kinda cool, because she has magic at all."
>Both of you stop in your tracks
>Applejack is further astonished by your words
>"You're kidding, right?"
"No, not really. Magic doesn't exist in my world. Technology does, and it's maybe like magic, in a way. But it's just so much... less, I guess. I'd like to have a few things from my world that I'm attached to but what else could I want?"
>Applejack nods, understanding your view
>Maybe not fully getting it, but emphasizing with it
"I don't have a lot in life, you know. Me vanishing would suck for a few people but if I could... I guess get in contact with them every now and again, it'd probably be fine."
>You're not sure if you want to leave your home behind but it never felt like a home
>You certainly didn't have any future promised and shown to you
>You certainly didn't have a female talking about starting a big family in a wide rural environment
>You clear your throat and bring up your hands, rubbing your shoulders
"I guess I gotta thank her, you know. Otherwise... I guess I wouldn't have ended up here."
>Your awkward, roundabout wording reaches her
>"Heh heh. Alright. I'll give her kudos for bringing you here. And I'll forgive her for that."
>Her smile turns bitter
>"But she ain't gonna have me forget that she's done some really bad things too. And you better remember that too, next time she pops up."
>Applejack's steps turn into stomps
>She huffs out hard through her nostrils
>"If she weren't my friend, I would knock her harder than you knocked over that tree..."
>Her steps lighten up again
>"But... this is also a good time to fight fire with fire, right? The more you get them apples inside of your belly, the more you feel better! We're learning stuff together, you and I. Probably will even outdo her when it comes to research too."
>You shiver hard at the word 'research'
"Yeah... how about we avoid using that word. I've lost track of time here with all of this stuff going on but trust me, no one remembers the result of her stuff more than me."
>The two of you continue to chat until you reach the barn
>Despite the foreboding feeling of... something being in there, it looks perfectly normal
>You can even see the fancy brass speakers that are still jutting out of the ground
>They don't look all that heavy
>"You sure... you're gonna be alright in there?"
"Well sure. Yeah. I mean, the worst that happens is that you hear me scream and you can rush in and save me, right?"
>"Or I don't hear you at all and you're in Twilight's clutches..."
>That didn't help your nerves that much
"Glad to see you're positive."
>"Sorry."
"No... no you're not."
>You shake off any fear you might have and step forward, like you're crossing the threshold of a fog gate
"Alrighty then... time to face the music."
>"Sounds like a plan big A, just... you know. Scream if you need anything."
>You flex and pose, doing your best to put on an Austrian strong man's accent
"I will scream like the strongest girly man you've ever seen, ja."
>Applejack snorts and laughs
>"Yeah, ok Mr. Muscle. Go kick those things over or whatever you're gonna do."
>You wait and listen to her walk off before relaxing your pose
"This won't be so bad."
>Then it happens
>The doors creak closed, and slam behind you
>You jump off the ground and look around, prepared to see purple
>A pair of spotlights erupt out of nowhere and focus on one of the speakers
>Somehow, it's hollowed out and Pinkie Pie rises from it
>Pink mist bursts out with her
>She stands on two legs, her front legs crossed as if they were arms
>She's wearing a fucking luchadore mask
>You feel like your soul has left your body
"What the shit."
>What comes from her mask, which covers her face, sounds like a weak attempt at a raspy voice
>"POOOOOOOOOOONESAW IS REAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYY!"
>You can only stare in disbelief
>Mostly because it comes out as 'POMMMMMMSRRR MMP RRRRRRRRRDYYYYYY'
>Pinkie stands there, waiting for you to do something
"What the hell is going on?"
>She begins to monologue at you, through her mask, while changing poses at lightning speed
>Most of them are attempts to be threatening
>Some of them are deceptively seductive
>For over a minute her faux-angry muffled mumbling continues
>some of it even reverberates through the three other speakers, giving her a bit more of a threatening presence
>If you could understand her
>When she finishes, she looks at you with a raised eyebrow, expecting some sort of reaction to your blank face
"If I pull off the mask, will you die?"
>Pinkie brings her hooves up to the mask, struggling to take it off
>She manages to fit it over her snout and gasps for air
>"I said I asked Twilight for what sort of things you liked when she was probing your mind and she said 'wrestling' and zapped a lot of what you've seen into my head so now I'm a total fan and we can have that party!"
>You're not sure of what to say
"A wrestling party."
>"Yes!"
"And why would that be a good idea?"
>"Because then we can grapple each other and no one can say it's wrong because we're just kayfabe!"
"That doesn't really mean anything because we aren't playing any characters."
>She looks at you with a confused expression, like she never considered the logistics of everything
>Her shiny, bright blue eyes focus on you while the gears turn in her head
>She fumbles and pulls the mask back down, though it's a few inches off center at the mouth
>"MMMPH TMM DY"
"You what?"
>Before you can react, she takes you by surprise and leaps off the top of the speaker!
>In slow motion, you watch her attain a fantastic vertical leap with you as her target
>Inch by inch, you see her eyes nearly cross as she roars out some indescribable words
>When she lands, her stomach connects with her head
>You go down hard
>The impact leaves you dazed and confused
>The belly of Pinkie "Belly Flop" Pie rubs against you, from the bottom of her rib cage to between her hind legs
>She slides off of you almost like a snake on purpose
>You open your eyes, more amazed than hurt
>You lay flat on your back, staring up at the top of the barn
>You question your life choices that have led you to this exact circumstance
>Pinkie pops up into your view, upside down to you
>"MMMR MMM MM'MY?"
"If I take the mask, will you die?"
>"Mmm bmmm mmmMMmmm pmmfmm."
>With her guard down, you bring your hands up and slap the sides of her head
>The disorientation works, as she goes full derp-eyed
>You scramble to your feet and grab hold of her by her shoulder and her mask
"SUPLEX CITY! POPULATION: YOU!"
>Before she can properly react, you suplex the soft pink pony that's maybe a third of your size
>From the front in front of you, with you crouched
>To you standing tall, with her completely vertical and in the air
>To you bending over backwards, her back hitting the ground at full velocity
>The speed of your move also hurts you to the point that you flop over, grabbing the small of your back
"Oh fuck, Christ why did I do that..."
>You don't see Pinkie but all you can see is pain
>You struggle to turn onto your stomach, only to see... no one
>Pinkie isn't there
>How the hell did she get away after you floored her with the force of a mediocre god?
>You feel pain shoot through your spine when you feel her bounce onto your back
>"MMM-MM MMMPLMMMS MM!"
>She somehow locks your arms with her front legs and pulls back, raising you up
>HOW IS SHE MANAGING A HOLD LIKE THIS?!
>"MMMHMMPT!"
>You gargle out a pained scream
>It feels like she's unstable
>You keep feeling her sliding against your back in quick, unsteady grinding
>You flex and tense up before flinging your head forward
>You accomplish the impossible and headbutt the dirt with amazing grace
>But also fling her off of your back, into one of the speakers
"Jesus fuck..."
>Battered and possibly concussed, you drag yourself to a sitting position
>You can't see straight to save your life and you can only hear ringing
>Pinkie Pie charges at you before she sees that you've stopped going along with it
>She skids to a stop, her head bonking into your chest
>"MMM YMMM MMMK?"
>You grab onto the top of the mask and jerk it up, raising it up so she can talk
>"Are you ok, Anon? Do you submit already?"
>You look at her
>At all three of her
>And shove her over
"Wrestling's dangerous as hell. Where did you even get a mask?"
>She tries to stand up and walk toward you but the mask covers her eyes
>"Well from what I saw, isn't it supposed to be dangerous?"
"They roll with impact, it's not a straight murder!"
>With the sonar of a bat, she practically pivots on a dime and steps until she bonks her head into you again
>"But you were having fun, right?"
"Well... alright, first off."
>You yank the mask off of her and toss it to the side
>She looks just as dazed as you, her eyes rolling around in her head
>"Hey, I can see you again!"
"Listen, Pinkie, I gotta get rid of these speakers. I wanna be able to go back into the barn an--"
>As you're talking, Pinkie darts her head toward you
>She hits her mark and kisses you, scoring a critical hit as it happens while your mouth is open
>You sputter and lean back, but not before tasting Pie
"Alright, stop. Twilight can probably hear me or something and I don't want to be around somewhere she ca--"
>She darts toward you again, stealing another kiss
>With extra
>You sputter again and escape, ending up on your back
>In a flash, she's on your torso
>Her eyes roll around in circles like a cartoon before they re-center and focus squarely on you
>"One more count and I win by pinning!"
"Dang it, will you listen? If Twilight finds out she'll skin me al--"
>One last kiss
>This time you don't have a way to escape it
>It's as viscous as it is playful
>Teasing
>It only ends when you remember you have arms and grab hold of her torso, lifting her up enough that she has no choice but to end the kiss
>Huffing for air, you stare at her with wild bewilderment
>You can hardly focus but you can see her smiling like only she could
>"You lose... and I win! Where's my title belt?"
>You stare at her, just unable to know what the hell
>She gives you a cheeky smile
>"You want to get rid of the weird speaker things because you're worried Twilight might have them to spy on you, on top of having me spy on you, and you'd like my help because only then would the barn be safe for you to sleep in again, right?"
>You wait to answer, expecting something else
>Obviously she can't kiss you again due to the distance you put between each other
"...you were listening?"
>She smiles wider, giggling
>"Of course? I'll have you know that I listened to everything you've said!"
>The way that comes out does little to ease your woes
"...So..."
>Pinkie slides away from you, down your torso until she comes to a stop
>"And then there's this..."
>You clear your throat, trying to distract from the obvious turnbuckle that she's found
"Pinkie... let's not and say we didn't. And clear out the speakers. And then-"
>She hops up
>And onto you again
>And up again
>And down again
>Far harder this time
>You lose your ability to accurately think
>While this wasn't a title match, you lost far more than your pride and confidence in your strength of body and will

>You don't dream when you pass out, Pinky giggling and bouncing on your lap with reckless abandon
>You wake up, eventually
>You didn't dream at least
>But you don't think what you entered was an actual sleep, either
>You're still laying on your back, on the dirt
>It takes a minute for your vision to focus
>The speakers are gone
>Pinkie is gone
>The entire dirt floor is swept clean too
>You work yourself up enough to sit up
>Everything feels sore
>The you-sized face print in the dirt is also gone
>You wipe your face and realize that you're clean
>Mostly
>A quick check to where you were battered reveals that you were cleaned there too
"...huh."
>Your back and shoulders creak as you stand up, stretching
"Well... I guess the barn is done, finally."
>A bit paranoid of who might be listening in, you make sure you don't say anything you don't want anyone to hear
>Or anything
>At least no nightmares
>You crack your neck and wrists before opening the barn doors
>Sure enough, it seems like everything's solid and all's right in the world
>No sign of those speakers though
>Now, in direct sunlight, you can't help but notice the state of your tunic
>It's downright thrashed
>It's not threadbare but there are a few small tears and stains on it
>Most of the stains are from mud or dirt
>Some are from food because being an uncultured swine that sleeps in a barn has led to you using your own clothing as a napkin
>For this exact moment
>This very minute
>You feel free
>If eyes are on you, you're blissfully unaware
>If you're in danger, you haven't the faintest clue
>It feels good
>Deciding that there's no reason to, you just decide to go walk off
>Your shin hurts but everything's either sore or a bit numb at this point
>You walk into the orchard, since it's the only place you're familiar with
>Before you know it, you find yourself picking apples
>Not bucking or kicking the trees like a moron
>Just... picking the ones in reach with your hands
>Before you're aware of yourself, you've already made four piles of apples that go up to your waist
>You don't particularly feel worried or scared
>You don't feel much of anything at all, to be honest
>That isn't a bad thing, since you're at least being productive
>You do feel a bit hungry but you wouldn't want to just swipe an apple to eat it
>For all you know, eating the apple by itself makes your mouth bleed or some other chaotic result
>Besides, you aren't much in the mood to both work and eat
>By the time you see Applejack trotting around in the distance, you've made your fifth pile of apples
>You watch and even give a little wave when she comes up to you
>She looks a little concerned
>"Good morning... y'allright Anon? I kinda thought you'd have gone to sleep on your bed."
>She looks at you like you have something goofy on your face
"No... no, I kinda got stuck messing with those speakers for a while. Got Pinkie to pop up since I didn't know where to stic--"
>"Wait, Pinkie was here?"
"Yeah."
>"Why?"
>You shrug
"I saw her pop up out of one of the speakers... and the first time I saw her, she burst out of the ground without a spec of dirt on her. Should I really question anything she does?"
>Applejack opens her mouth with a squint to answer
>She sighs and shakes her head
>"No... no you shouldn't. I don't get it either."
>She peeks to the side, looking at all of the apples you picked
>"Dang! You've been working this entire time, I see."
>You give her an apathetic thumbs up
"Yup. I still owe you, and I got nothing else to do."
>Applejack grumbles something before clearing her throat
>"Well it'll take some time to put those into carts and some such... hey, how about an idea?"
"An idea?"
>You parrot her like a snake
>"That's right, sugarcube! How about some new duds and a... uh... checkup?"
"A checkup?"
>"Sure! Zecora ain't seen you in a day or two now and... well, how's that magic stuff affecting you?"
>You shrug
"At this point? I can hardly tell."
>Regardless of how you meant that, she bucks the air with both her hind legs
>"Well don't that beat all, it's been working! Today's a real red letter day, ain't it!"
>You nod, unable to really reach her level of excitement
"Yeah, it's not too bad so far. So how am I going to get those things? I can't just go waltzing into... wherever they are, right?"
>Applejack nods to herself, like you're catching on
>"That's right, I don't think the commonponies are ready for you yet."
>You're not sure what that means
>You stand there, watching her without any of your usual mannerisms
>"So... uh... the duds... you remember Rarity?"
"I remember being called beastly or something to that effect."
>She tries but fails to stop herself from chuckling
>"Well you are a pretty strong one when you want to be... I don't doubt that anymore to say the least."
>She leans up at you, beaming
>"I slept super hard last night thanks to you!"
>That brings you out of your lackluster funk since you grin despite yourself
"Just wait until I'm excited."
>She shivers with a quick "hurhurhur"
>"Alright, enough with the dream talk, we gotta skedaddle!"
>She takes off into an excited trot and you follow
>Having relatively long legs does wonders to keep up pace with her
"So where's Rarity and Zecora?"
>"Well we thought the barn would kinda be a little harsh for you since you've already spent so much time in there so... we're gonna take you over to the other animals!"
"Other animals?"
>Did she imply you were an animal?
>"Well sure! Got chickens and sheep but in due time I want to get a lot more once we expand!"
>You nod to yourself
>From where you've been, you haven't seen much of anything from just how vast the land has been
>Not like you've been able to explore all that much anyway
"I like chickens, Eddy"
>You say with a slightly derpy tone
>"Come again?"
>She trots along while looking back at you but you wave your hand away
"N-nevermind. Small joke from back home."
>You're surprised at how neatly the hen houses are built
>There's four of them, surrounded with a mesh fence that seems so well made that you could mistake it for chain mail that's frozen in place
>The workmanship on the coops isn't anything to sneeze at either, given it was all built without thumbs
>You're broken out of your trance of intrigue by a sharp whistle
>Applejack is little beyond, outside of a segment of white fence that goes on longer than you can see
>It's kinda neat to see more of the place, now that you aren't some mistake to usher into a dark room
>Now you're a project
>Your stride takes you to her side
>On the other side of the fence are two familiar ponies
>Or one pony and one zebra, rather
>Both are surrounded by sheep
>Somehow, some of the sheep are wandering off stark naked
>"Rarity has materials with her so of course y'aint gonna be wearing unwashed wool or anything like that. I told her that she could have the wool in exchange for her help, and you know how great wool is for winter!"
>You shrug and nod over to Zecora
>She has a small work table set and at least a half dozen bottles and bowls that you can only tell aren't empty
>She doesn't look impressed
>Or angry
>Or anything at all, her face is stoic and focusing on the sheep being sheared
>Only to turn her attention to keenly you
>You flinch
"So... uh... she seems happy."
>"Yeah, I wanted to visit her but turns out she's been wanting a gander at you again. I guess she sees some sort of hokey, spooky air about ya."
>She chuckles, shaking her head dismissively
>"I ain't so sure you're all that much to worry about."
>"But then again... you could call me a bit biased."
>She winks at you, smiling
>"Annnnywho there are witnesses and I gotta go get those apples you done went and picked. I'll be back later!"
>As focused as ever, she leaves your party of two back to the orchard
>You feel a little out of place, since you aren't sure of what the right protocol is
>You don't see any gates to go through
>And Zecora is still keeping you in her cross hairs
"Aaaaaaaand... fuck it."
>You step over the fence, taking care to not plow through it
>It's not exactly tall for a human to begin with
>By the time your eyes go from your feet back up to ahead, Zecora has strongly averted her gaze
>Given Rarity seems horn deep in sheep, you steer a little more toward toward the zebra
"Hey there. Applejack said that you were looking at me?"
>You meant to say 'for' but the wrong word came out
>She gives you one test glance before returning her full attention to you
>She even resumed her stoic face
>"It is true, you are who I seek. But... I do hope Rarity will make you something to stop any pony from getting a surprising peek."
>There is an uncomfortable silence between you two
"...you're welcome."
>You aren't sure of what else to say
>You sit down, ignoring the less than pleased frown she has
>"Applejack says you used magic on a tree."
"To be fair it mocked me."
>"You should know that this isn't a joke."
"And yet it was the tree, not me, that broke."
>Zecora frowns more
>"I can sense it inside of you."
"Yeah, I know, I'm fucked. What else is new?"
>"Anonymous, do not belittle this threat."
"And why shouldn't I? I'll just end up in your debt."
>You reply almost as fast as she speaks, not giving her enough time to make a rhyme of her own
>Not that you're trying to mock her or anything
>There is a tension that's palpable
>You don't believe there's anything else that could happen that wouldn't suck
>More magic cleanser or supressor?
>More bad dreams?
>More threats or implications?
>Zecora breaks first and sighs
>"I do not do this for my own ego or to believe I am great. I do this because inside of you I sense fear and hate."
>She nods at the various containers she has on her little table
>"I was told of your magical feat. I am worried because it may spell your defeat."
"Well yeah... I'm worried too. But let's be honest, what can I even do?"
>You give her a defeated sigh
"Twilight's supposedly watching me from above. Pinkie Pie's not much help either. Applejack... I don't even know. I'm not one step closer to any sort of resolution here. And I'm not one step closer to even knowing what tomorrow is going to bring. If you've ever thrived in that chaos, you'd find it disheartening too."
>You wanted to stop there, but something inside went loose
"It's demoralizing. It's terrifying, if I were the sort to be so easily scared. You see a lot of weird creatures here, I'm sure, but they are probably from here, in some capacity. I'm not, I don't have any reason to believe I am."
>The conversation dies pretty fast from that extended outburst
>You can hear Rarity humming while sheering sheep
>Was she humming before?
"Anyway... yeah. I did end up magically kick a tree's ass. What does this mean?"
>"I do not know, as a matter of fact. But it would be wise if we proceed with tact."
"Sure. But does this mean? Is this something to extract?"
>"No, not to be exact."
>She lays a hoof on the table and nudges a bottle toward you
>"This is a purifier. It burns like hellfire."
"Glorious. What do I take with it?"
>"Nothing. It will require strength t-"
>At the word 'nothing', you grab the bottle and gulp down the opaque yellow fluid in one go
>You place the bottle back on her table
>Zecora looks shocked
>Rarity's humming stopped
>Even the sheeps have stopped, with a few of the newly-naked ones gawking at you
"What?"
>Almost in an instant you whip your head back and forth while your left shoulder shakes uncontrollably
>As soon as it began, it stopped
>It really doesn't seem to have any initial burn that's harsher than some potent alcohol laced with pine cone spines
>You look at one of the sheep that is staring at you with it's jaw wide open
"What're you looking at, cue ball?"
>The sheep bounces off
>Everything goes back to normal, humming included
>Zecora takes a moment before talking
>"The purifier will cleanse all that is in you, magic or not..."
>Her voice lingers as if she's not sure of what she should wait for
>"I have had this brew... it is an understatement to call it 'hot'."
"Next step?"
>You're fond of her word games and how much effort it must take for her to consistently speak like that but you're starting to feel a knife point of aggression poke through
>"Next step is a reagent. It is what is administered to stop violent movement."
>She points her hoof toward another bottle
>Clear as water, but with a visible vapor cloud of something hovering over the mouth of the glass
"What, worried I'm going to spazz out?"
>"It is next because the purifier is the worst... to not require it, you are the first."
>You cock an eyebrow at her and drink it anyway
>Another gulp, which must be a bit more tough to swallow if you were pony-sized
>Almost immediately, it numbs your throat and travels down
>While you can still sit just fine, you do feel a bit woozy
"Ahlwright..."
>You slur your word, trying to focus on your tongue
>You know it's there but you can't move it
>"You are doing splendid. Next are some berries and apples that Applejack and I have blended. Magical energies are suspended, provided your body allows for their effect as intended."
"Ah foud mu maji wuh ahwedy go."
>You give her an incredulous look while speaking with a paralyzed tongue, as if you didn't sound absurd
>"The first drink does more than you think, the second helps you remain calm while the third acts as a balm."
"Uh, natterly."
>You glance down and wipe drool off of your chin
>"Twilight is the cause, is she not? Should she try to connect to you, she will feel what you did not claim was hot."
"Ahhhhh at woo ssoper?"
>"It should. But if she wants you enough, it might not be enough to consider you good."
"Gwey."
>While you've been focusing on Zecora, you can't help but tell that the humming has been steadily turning into giggling

>You go through all of Zecora's tonics and slimes, bravely swallowing whatever she pushes your way without concern for your wellbeing
>It'll probably help
>Her rhymes and vaguely worded promises should make you immune to anything with a horn now
>As well as immune to any magic-related maladies, illnesses, viruses, coughs, colds, headaches, eye strains, high blood pressure, and you're pretty sure you heard something about cheaper car insurance
>"Anon, are you listening? Your eyes are glistening."
>You snap to attention
"Yeth. Thorry. Are we done?"
>Your stomach isn't doing so well, sloshing with so many types of liquids and jellies
>So much of it had such an extravagant taste that your taste buds are completely burnt out
>At least you aren't drooling anymore
>"We are indeed. Might I add, your unflinching bravery during this ritual is that of only the strongest of steed."
>Zecora gives you a genuine smile
>"I am proud of myself. After this, I will need to restock my shelf!"
>By the time you gulped down every goop known to zebra, Rarity finished sheering the last sheep
>All of them watched you, stone-faced, swallow everything
>You may become a porcupine that has been turned inside out in a few hours but for now?
>Fuck it
>Twilight may as well be a show pony to you now with all of these fabulous lumps of something rumbling in your gullet
"Tho Rawity. Ready to sthitch me up thome new dudths?"
>The poor unicorn has tried her best to keep from laughing at you, but that snipped the last strand
>"Baaaahahahaha! Oh darling, you're divine! I don't know how you could have possibly gone through all of that!"
>You frown at her and do your best to imitate Zecora, who's content with herself and loading up her bottles and bowls
"Keep that up and I'll pound you flat, then I may justh wear you ath a hat!"
>The numb tongue is wearing off, but the taste left on it is sickeningly sweet
>Rarity keeps laughing, wiping her eye with her hoof
>"Whew... oh my. May I add that I would be the most gorgeous hat you've ever worn? 'Beastly'... oh, how I've been so wrong in judging you, darling. You're no more harmful than a baby dragon."
>Regaining her composure, she starts to circle you
>Over a dozen of her trade tools and needles all start to float out of her bag
>The bag is almost as big as you
>The sight of her blue magic aura kinda makes your skin crawl
>"Grass stains, mud stains, wrinkles from excessive stretching, microtears along the stitching and..."
>She narrows her eyes at you
>"Listen now, you may be out in the middle of nowhere but at least try to keep yourself from acting in a beastly manner, hm?"
>You purse your lips and avert her judging gaze
>You can't exactly say anything without implicating anyone
>But something tells you she knows far more than just what she can see
>How well can horses smell, anyway?
>"Arms up. I'll mend this but there's only so much I can do without needing to just throw it in the wash... you do know what bathing or washing is, right?"
>Now it's your time to return the judgmental glare
"Ath you thaid, I'm in the middle of nowhere. Running water ithn't exactly everywhere."
>She gives a sympathetic nod before disappearing behind your back
>"Arms up."
>She repeats yourself and you lift your arms up
>The tunic glows and lifts itself off of you
>As soon as the tunic leaves you bare, a few tape measures wrap around your torso and arms
>"Now then, would you be so kind as to tell me what you've been doing for the last few days? No lying now, my mouth is a steel trap and I can only help you as much as you help me."
>Aren't steel traps always closed?
"Well... parties... kinda."
>You clear your throat
"Heavy lifting and movement. I may have kicked some trees with it wrapped around my leg as a sort of bracer. Was around some water and mud but didn't pay it much mind I suppose..."
>"You what!?"
>The tape measure around your chest tightens hard enough to squeeze your ribs
>"Have you no respect for anything?!"
>She stamps her hoof down
>"Listen, you and Applejack may be a couple now bu--"
"Wait, what?"
>You finally lower your arms and turn to face her but a blue aura covers your face
>It's stopping you from moving your head at all
>"Uh... please don't tell her I said that. She told me in confidence and since you're the other half of the secret..."
"Steel trap, huh."
>"Oh shush, it's fine since it's you anyway."
>You relax, trying to wave away the blue lights
"So... I guess everyone knows now?"
>You aren't against that sort of thing being said
>You do like her
>But you kinda aren't sure if you would say it yourself
>You still do want to go home
>At least for a bit
>"Oh no, not everyone, darling. Just yours truly. Rainbow Dash doesn't care, not that I'm aware of. Fluttershy thinks you're nice and she's usually spot on with her animal magnetism-"
>You grunt and loudly clear your throat
>"I'm an animal too, don't get so worked up. We're all animals. Call it empathy instead?"
>Your only response is a sigh
>She's not exactly wrong
>"Anyway, where was I... oh yes, Fluttershy told me about you when you were all down in the dumps. I will admit, you did spook me just a teensy bit, when you first popped up. But you can't blame a mere mare for being scared of what she doesn't understand, right?"
>The variety of tones she goes through and her natural cadence is truly that of some posh, upper class pony
>Or at least one who really wants to be seen as that
>"So Applejack... to be honest, I haven't seen her happier. Not regarding anything that isn't apple-based anyway... do you like apples that much? Maybe it's just her apples you find so-"
"Come on, I'm not going to gossip about that with you of all people! Christ, have some tact."
>She's obviously trying to pump you for juicy information to share around the water trough but you aren't buying it
>"Alright, alright... I'm sorry. Better?"
>"Anyway... yes, Applejack likes you quite a lot. And you seem the exact sort that would be strong enough to really do her some good with work on all of this mostly-tamed land. I was starting to worry she'd end up a workhorse and ignore us completely."
>At least information pumping works both ways
"So... what's Applejack like? I mean, how was she before I popped up? How do you mean, that she's been... noticeably different?"
>You hear a giggle from behind you
>You haven't been paying attention but an amusing little show of fabrics being cut, folded and sewn has been going on in front of your face
>"Not going to gossip but you want to, huh... alright, I'll play along. It is only about her."
>Evidently, Applejack's main passion was, or still is, Sweet Apple Acres
>To the point that whenever there's a public appearance or event, she's always the first to set up a stand and advertise
>But she's also fiercely protective of her land and her products, to the point that she's never hired anyone outside of her family to work
>She's also strong
>You knew that, but apparently she's strong for earth ponies
>Which are both incredibly strong compared to unicorns and pegasuses
>Pegasi?
"Hey, Rarity. Is it pegasuses or pegasi?"
>Rarity snorts in amusement
>"Really?"
"Well yeah. Evidently they aren't where I'm from or I wouldn't ask."
>"Aaahhh... oh, Anon. We can't be gifted in every aspect."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
>She avoids your confrontation and goes back to talking about Applejack
>It works since you lose your aggressive edge while hearing about her
>There haven't been that many suitors due to all of the hard physical labor that would surely be entailed
>After what feels like an eternity, she finally finishes discussing Applejack in worrying amount of detail
"So... do you think she really likes me? I'm not a... uh... well, I'm a human."
>"Mm. Yes, I'm aware, darling. And let's put it this way, if she didn't want you dressed up and pampered by the best fashionista in all of Ponyville, and possibly in all of Equestria, she wouldn't have given me all of that wool. Do you know how much that stuff is worth, depending on what's in fashion?"
"Not really. I've been kinda... stuck in a barn."
>Your response makes her laugh at least
>"You are too much, do you know that? Funny and strong... and don't think I haven't seen or heard of you flashing everyone. I'm almost worried for her."
>You want to say something back at her but you'd better not
>"She's not rich like... Manehatten millionaire rich. But this land is worth an awful lot, and everything she makes. Her family has come a very long way to get to this. The fact that she adores you as a person as well as an asset to the family business is an astonishing feat. She strikes me as the sort who would chop up her happiness and bury it in a ditch if it meant her family name got out there more."
>That hit you pretty hard, right in the stomach
>Right where all of those quasi-liquids are still stored
"I suppose... but what about that red guy, Mac? And surely she has others here too, right?"
>"Well sure, she has help. But she's the foreman of it all. She works herself to the bone, on top of leading projects, sales, even down to her own packaging! I dare say the only thing she doesn't do all of is the cooking."
"Her cooking is really good..."
>"Then tell her that! Remind her just how good she is at what she does. I can spend a day or two alone but I don't know how long she spends just... working. It is a virtue, honestly, but it can also be a curse. Dispel that curse. For her sake and mine."
>You glance at the snipping and sewing magic show in front of you
>It has plenty of flourishes and looks like it would go amazingly with a dance and song but you couldn't be paid to care about that
>Looks like she is making a jacket though
>You even see some straps and shreds of leather floating around
"So... what's Pinkie and Twilight's take on all of this?"
>The fabric dancing in the air freezes on the spot
>If only for a second
>"Well... Pinkie seems to enjoy playing with you. She's been bouncing all around town, more so than usual you see. She's... how she is. I don't really think any of us could really wrangle her in. If she forces you into any overly silly parties, it's ok to tell her 'no'. Just don't say that too much."
>She gives an embarrassed laugh
>"She's more of a socialite than I. And be careful about anything slathered in red... she likes hot sauce."
>Her voice turned to a spicy flavor of disgust for those last four words
>"As for Twilight... well, I'm not stupid. Frankly, I'm concerned for her as much as I am about Applejack. And both of them seem to focus on you, but for different aspects. I have also heard of what she's done, if any of that mystical 'magical saturation' hooey is to be believed. Let me tell you this, darling. Have you been feeling any illness from me? Any nightmares?"
>Well you did just finish off a twelve course hell that's supposed to more or less make you immune to it now
"Zecora's stuff isn't snake oil, I would think."
>That seems to poke a hole in her pride
>"Oh... well yes, that is right, now isn't it... anyway, I hardly doubt all of that is real. I've never seen it."
"Well, is Twilight stronger than you, magically? However you judge or quantify that?"
>"That is a good point. She's always... let's just say 'special'. She was first sent here to learn about friendship! Could you imagine living a life where you'd need a lesson in how to make friends?"
>Your face scrunches
"Yeah... ha ha... who would ever have a problem making friends..."
>"But back to the point, she... I don't know. I've spoken with Spike and she must be studying hard on something big. Maybe it's to get you back home?"
"But what about Applejack?"
>"What about Applejack indeed... my, this is but a pickle you've fallen into."
>You couldn't just go back to home
>Not now, when you've already had a taste of a new life and what could only be seen as the promise of a real future to look forward to
"What's the whole deal about the reason I was put here? Why do you guys need to summon something from another world for a sauna?"
>Rarity stumbles over her words for a moment
>"W-well, uh... we get travelers here..."
"Good for your economy."
>"And they need a place to relax, don't they?"
"I suppose as much as anyone else."
>"So... we... decided that if we could get a source of steam that never ran out, we could run a little steam house and have a place to relax as well."
>You swear this isn't the first time you've heard this but your memories of the last few days have become one big blur
"Why not use wood?"
>"Wood costs money...?"
"Jesus Christ."
>You give an exasperated sigh
>You keep forgetting that you've been brought here for such a lazy reason
>But it wasn't all bad
"Listen, you about done here?"
>"Yes, yes, almost there. Applejack will like this."
"Will I like it?"
>"Well of course you will! You don't want to be naked all day, do you?"
>You begin to speak but she shushes you
>"You're speaking to a lady, don't go there."
>Dammit

"Hey Rarity."
>"Mmmyes, dear?"
>You watch the fabric, fur and leather dance
>It has done a good job at keeping you occupied
"Applejack seems to like me a lot..."
>"That's an understatement if I've ever heard it."
"Yeah. I've only been here a few days. Is this sort of thing normal to her, as far as you know?"
>"Honestly? I've seen ponies all around fall in love far faster for far more... skin deep reasons, let's say."
"So this isn't anything to worry about?"
>"Not that I'm aware of. Are you worried about a mare going head over heels for you?"
"Kinda. I could never imagine a female of my own species doing that. I've never seen anything like it."
>"Do you not want the attention then?"
"No... no, I want it. I enjoy it. The food I've had here has been absolute best I've had in I don't know how long. I suppose I just don't know how well I can understand it."
>"Women are a complicated subject, Anon. Are you grateful?"
"Well, yeah, of course I am."
>"Then be grateful. Show her. And make sure you don't stain your clothing while you do so."
>You hear some 'oh ho ho ho ho ho' behind you
"I'm speaking to a lady but you get to make those types of comments?"
>"That's right. I'm also making and mending your clothing so I get a say in what will make it last longer."
>Well she's got you there
>The flurry of magic in front of you finally looks like it's coming to an end
>"Right, well, here is your shirt."
>The tunic you wore is in front of you again
>It looks like nothing has changed, at a glance, but it looks like it's been layered
>"I double-stitched all joints, sewed on a second layer of more sturdy quilt on the inside so it'll feel a mite softer against your skin, and the..."
>She clears her throat
>"The front area that goes down has been widened. You really must stop showing everyone your jewels, darling, really."
>You want to say something snarky but you don't want to be ungrateful
>You grab the tunic out of the air and fit it over yourself
>Sure enough, it feels like it isn't just some shirt anymore
>It feels a bit more solid, a bit more weighty
>You stand up as you put it on, feeling that it does go down a bit lower all around
"Very nice... I appreciate it."
>"That's not all, darling."
>A cloth jacket stops in front of your face
>The shoulders, collar, and the lining is all leather
> There's even a leather apple on the right chest
>The center of an apple has an 'A+J' on it, but it looks so minor you didn't see the plus sign at first
"Whoa... ho ho ho... lee shit. This is what she wanted you to make?"
>You grab the jacket out of the blue aura and slip it on
>It fits like a dream
>The sleeves go down to your wrists
>The arms fit right
>It hangs off of you, but isn't too loose
>There aren't any buttons to it, but you hardly mind
"This is fan-freakin'-tastic, Rarity. All of that wool for this and a patch job?"
>"Well, you aren't exactly pony-sized, so you take a lot more. I can't just give you a patchwork piece either, now can I?"
>You move around, flexing your arms and folding them over every which way
>Everything feels solid
>More solid than any clothing you own back home!
>The color is all a basic beige with a light brown leather, but that works for you
"So... that's it then?"
>You turn to Rarity, who's already packing her bags
>"That's it. Go show off to Applejack and give her my regards, would you? And remember what I said about the staining!"
>You scratch behind your head
"Yeah... don't worry, I'll be better about that, trust me."
>With that, step back over the fence and... you're not sure where to go.
>You could still use a good pair of boots and at least a belt, but you aren't really all too needy
>You don't see Applejack over at the orchard but she's probably over there
>Or the barn
"Sure, let's give that a shot..."
>You stride over to the barn, quite proud of your outfit
>The apple bit is cute, but you can't help but think that it's a little brand
>Not that you mind
>You knock on the barn a few times before opening one of the doors
>You step in, seeing a pony rummaging around in the corner
"Hey, Applejack. Thanks for the coat. Kinda spoke with Rarity and... well, I guess I've given you too little credit. I appreciate you doing so much."
>The pony raises it's head up from the bag
>Your heart stops
>It's Twilight
>"Ohhhh hi Anon! You look like you're right at home here! I just thought I'd bring over some things... you know. Because I knew you didn't have a lot. But it looks like Applejack's taking good care of you!"
>You flinch too hard to do anything
>She trots up to you, her eyes staring into yours
>She sounds like she's happy for you, but her eyes are frantic, like she hasn't had a chance to relax in days
>She stops in front of you, glancing over your new clothing
>"My my... mymymymymymymymymymymymy, Rarity is such a great friend to make this for you! And what's that apple on the front?"
>You want to say something to her, anything, but you feel paralyzed on the spot
>"A plus J... Anon plus Applejack, maybe? Well isn't that cute! That is cute. You two make a good couple together."
>Only then do you feel like you can finally manage something
"T...thanks."
>"You know... I think you and I should have a little talk."
"Here, right? I think it'd be good t--"
>Before you can finish, a purple glow envelopes you
>You expect something to happen
>You stare at Twilight
>She stares at you
>Nothing's happening
>Was that goofy Zecora crap working?
>The magic energy dissipates around you
>You aren't sure what you should do
>"That... was unexpected. Ok. We can talk here if you like. I didn't think you'd be that prepared."
"Twilight... I'm confused. What are you doing here, what did you try to just do, and are you alright?"
>"Yeah, Twilight... just what in heckfire are you doing here?"
>That's Applejack's voice
>You hear her stomping up to your side from behind
>Twilight looks like she's over the moon
>Or incredibly stressed
>You can smell ozone in the air from the tension between the two ponies
>You're by and far the biggest creature in the barn but you can't help but feel like you would be the first one to physically break apart
>You don't dare turn your eyes away from Twilight but you can hear angry huffing from the apple mogul
>"Applejack, you're here too! That's GREAT, that means I can talk to both of you! That was my initial plan anyway."
>"Enough small talk, git talking or git going!"
>The contrast between the two is enough to make your stomach drop
>If things escalate, who knows what might end up demolished
"Hey, first off... can I ask some things?"
>"Oh, of course Anon! You were first in m-"
>"Anon, now ain't the time for that! She's just gonna lie to you or worse!"
>"Oh come on, Applejack, should we really be judgmental and claim ulterior motives right now when we both know--"
>"Nu uh, don't you dare go there!"
>Applejack takes an earth shattering stomp forward
>Out of your peripheral vision you can see that she looks angry enough to buck a unicorn's head clean off her shoulders
"Hey, calm the hell down!"
>You crouch down and slap Applejack's chest to push her back
>Her fury turns to you before it melts into fear
>"Whatever she says ain't true, sugarcube!"
>What the hell's gotten into her?
"Listen, that crap Zecora gave me works like a charm and then some! As long as that gunk is going through my system I'm as good as invincible."
>Now if she decides to go nuclear, it may still suck but if you have any magical protection, you're that much better off
>Your attention turns to Twilight
"Now, you want to talk to both her and I... let's start with me, alright?"
>"Oh, yeah. Sure, of course, Anon."
>Twilight shoots Applejack a smug look before smiling at you
>"So, I've been keeping track of you best I can, to protect you you see and one of the weirdest things I've noticed is that you've been eating some really weird things that I've found have been used to sedate ponies! Now isn't that just the kooky? And best of all, it was stopping me from giving you magic! Because, you know, I've been looking into your world and how to send you back, which I'm sure you feel right at home now, and I found out that if I keep a magical tether to you, I can learn more about you! And I know you've been using my magic because yesterday it spiked more than once! I have even been able to see through your eyes! But only for a moment. Isn't that great? You can be a magician or wizard!"
>Her rapid fire explanations go over your head but a few details stick out
>Drugging
>Magical tethering
>You can magic
>You shake your head and close your eyes
"Ok, what?"
>Twilight smiles wider at you
>"I've been trying to give you magic so you can use it because I really want to give you something valuable to help you adjust, and that it was working well despite Applejack drugging you with anti-magic ingredients that are also known to sedate ponies, and that I brought you some books to read because I know you like reading and relaxing and I thought that I could help you read and show you more magic that I know you would like!"
>She smiles with a squee, focused entirely on you
"That... that doesn't make any sense. I've had nightmares almost every night I've been here. That's just magic saturation."
>Twilight's smile turns concerned
>"Magical what now?"
"Y... yeah. That's when my body is... uh... Applejack, what were the details again?"
>Your head pivots to Applejack but she has a deer in the headlights look
"That's why you gave me that stuff, right, to ward it off?"
>"Yeah Applejack, tell us about this magic saturation theory of yours..."
>Twilight peeks beside you, glaring at Applejack
>Still with a smile
>"W-well, it's... uh... well it's true..."
>She doesn't sound all that confident
>For some reason, you aren't so sure, yourself
"Applejack... when I was gone for that day, and came back, didn't you say something like I had too much magic in me or that my capacity for it was low or something?"
>You've been through so much the details have blended together
>You've been trying to keep track of time but with every new event and encounter, it's all just become one mosaic of technicolor ponies
>Not having a watch or phone hasn't helped
>Applejack doesn't answer
>At least, if she did, you've lost interest in waiting after so much time of silence and uncomfortable facial expression
>You focus back on Twilight, who snaps to attention
"Twilight... why have I been having nightmares? Why have I been feeling drained all over?"
>"Oh, that! Well... I admit that it's probably scary to be here. And that day you were here, I will admit, and I do apologize, but I did get a little... intrusive. I did look into your mind and your heart. You see, at first, I thought you were more a monster or spirit for me to dissect and learn about, but the more I went into learning about you the more I discovered who you are and how you are and that made me want to dig deeper and harder and maaaaaaybe I might have gone a little overboard? On top of that, I wanted to extract part of you and replace it with a little bit of myself because... I..."
>Her voice turns more flustered and more heated the longer she rattles on
>"Well... I-I wanted to give you a part of myself. And I know now that it wasn't the greatest thing to do right off at the start because it maybe messed with your head and heart a little too much! I've been siphoning myself from you and been replacing it with more raw magical energy so you can use it independent of me and now that you've been here, it's my hypothesis that you're acclimating faster than I initially believed you could. Isn't that great?"
>Most of it flies over your head
>The more she speaks, the more you feel your stomach turn
>The lack of confidence from Applejack is equally unsettling
"But... your occult shit..."
>"Yes, well, I couldn't take risks beforehand! I had to be careful, and maybe giving you a little numbing zap to the heart would... suppress your inner violent urges if you had any? I mean, I couldn't risk my friends getting hurt. But now that I know you aren't some steamin' demon, I feel just terrible about it. You would've taken the same precautions, right?"
>The information is dizzying
"But... Applejack wrapped me up in blankets and stuff and... didn't you two talk?"
>You shift between Twilight, who seems all too happy to expose everything
>And Applejack, who actively averts your gaze
"You ran off and said you'd be back."
>"Y-yeah... and I did."
>"Applejack, you asked me to stop researching. Do you know what pony you said that to? I told you it was to send Anon back. We both thought he was just a monster at the time and we've done worse to actual threats."
>"It ain't like that... you didn't see the look on his face! The hurt in his eyes! You dang near could'a killed him!"
>"I nearly killed him?! Applejack, sweetie, you kept him in a barn for days and isolated him from everything! You kept him cooped up like another barnyard prize project! What do you know about care?"
>Twilight's smile finally fades
>Her horn starts to glow, as does your leg
>It feels better but it is bruised with a variety of brown and purple blotches
>"And what is this? If Anon broke his leg, what would you do to help him? Would you have even taken him to a doctor? Would you tell him that he didn't need it or to just toughen up?"
>That hits Applejack as hard as it hits you
>You knew that you weren't supposed to be seen, because other ponies and whatever would freak out
>Right?
>As if part of her still resides in your mind, Twilight quickly follows up
"Anon, Equestria has been led by an alicorn for over a thousand years, Ponyville has seen the return of Discord, a giant amalgamation of creature and chaos given form, and I once saw Fluttershy nearly break a bear's neck, to which she later claimed was just a massage to ease tension. Do you honestly think anypony would have seen you and just lost it?"
>You don't have an answer for that
>How could you?
"I... don't know?"
>"Right, and how could you, when you've been cooped up and made to lay on the dirt like some dog?"
>Your hand finally drops from Applejack's chest
>You didn't notice but you were clenching at her chest tufts before your arm lost all strength
"So... what about that dream pony that popped up? I spoke to one in my dreams."
>Twilight beams at you
>"Princess Luna! Yes, she came to me along with Princess Celestia."
"But... she told me she'd protect me from nightmares or something. She said that she'd help me out."
>Twilight nods to your concerned words
>"Yes well, once I explained the situation and what was going on... well, I got quite the chastising. I mean, I had to go to great lengths to make sure they didn't interfere or take you away and lock you up in a dungeon! I gave my official Human Anonymous reports and after they agreed that the best place for you would be here... if only because you were already getting familiar with your immediate surroundings. I mean, they can't just help every single poor soul that pops up or else they'd be pooped!"
>That sounds far more insulting than it was probably meant to be
"So... I wasn't important enough to help or for her to keep her word."
>"No, you were! I just had to promise her that I'd keep track of you for her, and that any nightmares you had must be allowed to play out, otherwise we wouldn't know how you reacted to such situations."
>You were crouching but you find yourself on your butt
>You bring your hands up to your head
>You really were just some experiment gone wrong
"So... what am I to you. Any of you."
>"Anon, you're the greatest find I've ever had! I even had Pinkie Pie throw you a party as a way to apologize and show you that I was making progress with learning about your world! That has to be something worthwhile, right?"
>"Aw phooey with that, I'm the one who got you dressed up and even made that bedframe for you!"
>"A bedframe with no mattress, Applejack, really? Next you're going to tell me that you did it all out of the goodness of your heart."
>"It's better than you fiddling and messing up his everything!"
>"Excuse me but it was required and it was to give him something he would have never gotten otherwise!"
>"And since when is giving someone something they don't naturally have a good thing!"
>"You can tell me once I give you some brains!"
>"That's it, I've had enough of you!"
>"What are you gonna do, buck trees and treat me like an animal that has to have her medicine mashed in with her food?"
"Fucking stop it, both of you!"
>You shout, trying to both cover your ears and massage your head
>If you were in another country, you could at least default to the played out spiel about how you were an American and that you had rights and flail around to make a scene
>But you were in another country
>Another world
>Another reality
>And absolutely no one cared to see you as anything more than a monster at the start
>Applejack did, but Twilight's criticisms aren't wrong either
>But Twilight gave you a sign that you weren't just cut off from home
>But neither of them could be reliably honest to you
"Just.. can you please just stop. I can't handle this."
>You sound pathetic
>You feel pathetic too
>Applejack sidles up to your left while Twilight rubs her face against your right side
>"I'm sorry for putting you through so much, Anon. If I knew what you were sooner, I would have just... sent you back. Or at least I would have treated you better and made sure you weren't being lied to like some other ponies."
>"Anon, I didn't mean to keep you cooped up... I was just scared for you. You looked like a wounded animal and I knew there was more to you than that, but I didn't know how to do anything about it. I saw what you could do but I didn't think about... safety, because I never needed it."
>Both of them sound like they mean it
>But how can you tell if they're serious?
>How can you tell that this isn't some scheme between the both of them?
"Just... what did Zecora really do to me? Is she in on this?"
>Applejack shakes her head, sitting at your side
>She leans into you
>"Zecora has told me before about magic and how it works... and it sounds right to me so I just listen to what she says on those matters. All of that stuff you drank today was to completely immunize you to magic. If what Twilight said is true, I guess it must have either kicked out or cut off whatever she had. It's some old warrior's ritual so I guess it's supposed to be good enough to save a life."
>Twilight mutters while trying to affectionately stroke you with her head
>"That's totally not how magic works, by the way..."
>You couldn't care less
>You really couldn't
"Twilight... what did you even have to bring over?"
>Twilight snaps back to focus on her mission, trotting off to retrieve something
>She comes back with a book in her mouth
>Sighing, you grab hold of it with both hands
>City Of The Dead
>By S.D. Pony
>The drawings on the front cover looks like two ponies, wielding guns, against zombiefied ponies and other creatures
>"I may have noticed that when you were young and growing up, that you read that book more than anything else. So... I went through as many of your memories as I could and transcribed it all down. I may have taken a few liberties here and there."
>Did she... really write an entire book for you, from secondhand memories?
>You're not sure if you should be astonished that she could do that or terrified that she could go through so many things in your head to the point that she could write a literal book that's based off of a book you read countless years ago
>"And... that's not the only one, either. Some other things you know a lot about, like movies or those interactive video games you have a ton of memories of... well, you know what adventure books are, right? They aren't anything like the real deal that you're used to, but you still choose what to do and you can still win or lose horribly!"
>Rather than going back to the pile, they all float toward you and land in a neat stack that comes to be as tall as the unicorn herself
>"All of them are transcribed by hoof so they may not be completely what you remember but... it's more of home. And I want you to feel at home while you're here. If you want still want to go. I could really use a partner like you, and your entire world's worth of knowledge and experience could unleash an infinite amount of possibilities for us all here! We've had a rocky start, but maybe I can make up for it and we can... start over?"
>Applejack tenses up against you, so much so that you can feel her shaking
>"I promise you can have the best food, rooms, and everything else in Equestria! Even if this occult stuff doesn't branch out and you aren't a physical specter that feeds off of emotions or ambient temperature, we could completely change the world!"
>Twilight smiles at you
>It's an apologetic smile
>But she does seem genuine about it
>"Please?"

>You sit there
>You can feel everything whirling around your head at a dizzying speed
>Everything Twilight's saying, and everything you think you're thinking blends together
>When will this end?
>When will you get home?
>Warmth drains from your face
>The purple unicorn turns blurry
>You have no clue of what's happening until the back of your head hits the ground and all cuts out
...
>Applejack and Twilight watch as Anon falls back, as limp as a doll
>"Anon?!"
>"Great Celestia what have you poisoned him with through that superstitious zebra!"
>Immediately, Twilight looks at Applejack as if she were somehow behind it
>The look on Applejack's face is a mix of unfathomable terror and shock
>He seemed just fine while gulping down all of that forest slime
>She wasn't exactly sure, herself, of what was in it but she had come to trust Zecora's brews and concoctions even if she didn't really believe in them
>"H-he ain't poisoned, it's to get all of that magic hoodoo out of his head!"
>"Hoodoo, Applejack? I was giving him power! Power to do more than anything you could accomplish!"
>"You were giving the damned stud nightmares! You haven't once seen the look on his face when he's tried to act like it wasn't bothering him!"
>"Nightmares are just the mind's way of dealing with trauma, whether or not it makes sense!"
>"Exactly!"
>Applejack stomps her hoof down
>"Trauma! Trauma you caused! I've done my gosh darned hardest to try to give him a sense of normalcy and you have to come up and just... RUIN IT!"
>Applejack distances herself from Anon's body, staring down the magical tyrant
>They've never fought before, not really
>But this was something far more important
>Twilight shrinks back from the earth pony's anger
>Genuine anger, not just irritation, frustration or her characteristic stubbornness
>"Applejack, it was all with the best intentions... I had Pinkie throw a party for him, even. I saw how happy he was through her eyes!"
>"You surrounded him in magic even more than before and spied on him! You couldn't even talk to him directly! You damaged his mind and told yourself and him it was for his own good! You don't know what's good for him when you don't even know him!"
>That makes Twilight laugh
>A smug, condescending laugh
>"And you do, is that it? What have you done that makes you any better off? You kept him locked up, you let him roam around like a domesticated pet and you fed him an entire orchard's worth of apples because it's not like you have anything to offer!"
>Her smug aura vanishes the second Applejack takes another stomp forward, stepping hard enough to crack the ground
>"We did what anyone normal does! We talk! We talk about ourselves, each other, we found out how we're different but how we're similar! We clicked and... er..."
>Despite her rage, she's unable to spit out the last bits
>"We, uh... well, I know we're compatible."
>Twilight's eyes go wide
>"You... you what?"
>Applejack, flustered, still tries to keep her composure
>"Y-yeah! And you know what? It was good! It was natural! And I didn't have to cast a stupid spell on him to do it either!"
>This is what makes Twilight change to the offensive
>"That... that wasn't for you. That isn't for you! You're not supposed to do anything like that! I thought Rainbow Dash or Rarity might do something like that so openly but you? I thought you'd be the last one to just give it up without a thought!"
>That hits hard
>"You rotten... it wasn't random! And it wasn't for no reason, either! I can't believe you'd think that!"
>Neither of them are ready to budge from their perspectives
>Until they remember that Anon is still down and out
>Applejack rushes to his side, trying to figure out whether or not he's ok
>"We can beat the tar out of each other later, we gotta take care of him! If it weren't for you, we'd be outside and enjoying the day!"
>While Twilight heavily disagrees with her lip, she takes to Anon's other side
>Though she's no medical student, she is aware enough about the curious biology of humans
>A quick attempt to use magic on him ends in a fizzle
>"Oh for... I can't examine him with magic. But he seems ok."
>"Seems?! Twilight, he's out like a rock and this doesn't seem like what he's done before!"
>"Well alright, so what do we do?"
>"You don't know?! You're a bookworm but you can't... just help me out, ok?"
>Applejack bites onto the shoulder of Anon's fabric
>Twilight just watches her start to drag him off
>"Want to explain what you're doing?"
>Applejack signs and shakes her head at the clueless brainiac
>"I made that bedframe for him, and it has more than enough blankets and pillows. It's better than letting him sleep on the ground, right?"
>"Oh-right. I knew that."
>Twilight dips her head under Anon's knee, pushing up as much as she can to lift up his leg
>It's just barely better than nothing, but it is enough to make dragging him out a little easier
>No one's around to help or ask them questions
>The frame is still a distance away too
>Both of them stop, eventually, though Twilight is the first one to stop
>Applejack sighs, huffing
>"Come on, Twilight. Can't you do anything outside of magic?"
>"If you didn't make him drink all of that, I would be able to zap him to the moon and back if I wanted."
>"Yeah well you can't, can you! You can't rely on magic to do whatever you want!"
>The bickering doesn't continue more but the tension hasn't died down
>"There's got to be a better way... how about I take the frame, you take Anon, and we work together on this?"
>It was a good idea
>A whole lot better an idea than dragging him through the dirt when he was so pleased with his new clothing
>Before they know it, Anon is wrapped up in a blanket and on the sturdy bed frame
>Turns out that even though Twilight couldn't put her magic on him, she could still affect other things
>Like blankets
>Both of them, riled up and strained, watch him
>"Did my magic really hurt him so much?"
>She sounds dejected
>"Well... yeah, it did. I'm sorry sugarcube but you made it hell for him without even trying."
>"But... you..."
>"I was looking out for him, Twilight. It wasn't the best way to go about it, I know that much. I didn't take any pride in leaving him restricted neither. But I kept thinking that he would just be gone if he wandered off. Either because of you, or someone else, or because he might just vanish into the unknown."
>"I wouldn't let that happen."
>"You say that but you don't know... just like I don't know what I've been doing wrong. We're full grown mares, we can be honest with our faults."
>"Alright, that's fair enough. So what do we do?"
>"What do you mean, what do we do?"
>"Exactly what I asked, Applejack. Do we just... let him stay here? What if he wants to leave?"
>"What if he doesn't?"
>Neither of them speak for a while
>Twilight breaks the silence, her tone apprehensive
>"Do we know... really what he wants?"
>Applejack doesn't answer
>But she does speak
>"If you can watch him for a few minutes, how about I get us some grub, huh?"
>Twilight's sad face twitches to a smile for a second before fading
>"Yes. Thank you. I haven't exactly been taking care of myself for the last few days."
>Though they agreed to a plan, Applejack doesn't budge an inch
>Twilight doesn't comment on that
>He could wake up any second now, and if he does and she's not there, he might be worried
>Or what if he doesn't wake up
>He has to wake up soon, right?

>You think you had a dream
>In it, Twilight and AppleJack were on you
>Twilight stared into your eyes, glowing with that accursed purple aura
>Applejack hugged around your entire body like some living cage
>Both of them muttered something to you about you being theirs, or that you weren't going anywhere
>You were terrified
>But
>You felt something resembling warmth
>A part of you that you couldn't neglect was resonating with their words
>You were wanted
>You were genuinely wanted
>Before you could ask either of them anything, your eyes opened
>It's dark out, but you can see
>You struggle to shift around
>A glance down shows that it's just a blanket, not the orange pony
>You let a mournful sigh leave your lungs
>Only to seize up when you hear Twilight's voice
>"So that's what I found in his mind. He was scared, and felt powerless. I didn't think so far ahead that I considered that I was overpowering or scaring him, but part of why I tried to give him magic was so he wouldn't feel so weak. You understand where I was coming from, don't you?"
>Is she talking to you?
>You don't answer
>You silently shift on the wooden slats of your bed frame, feeling different joints pop and shift
>You didn't want to attract any attention
>"Well I guess so. I guess I ain't any better. I told him he owed me so he would feel more reason to stay. I ain't such a cruel pony... but he seemed like a responsible sort so... maybe I used that against him. If anything, I owe him."
>You hear Applejack sigh
>"We spoke a lot, you know. Wants a big family, loves living out away from cities. Maybe I was thinking... you know... he could stay here. I mean, he didn't seem like he was against it. But maybe I could'a done better expressing that. I wanted to build more than just that shabby frame for him. And..."
>You hear her clear her throat
>"I was thinking. Maybe if I could ask Celestia, she might be able to make sure that... you know."
>Twilight gasps
>"Applejack, you're serious?! Is that a good idea?"
>"Well shoot Twilight, I ain't gettin' to the point that I'm gonna look for just any stallion! I know I'm young but I wanna start now too. And I think he wants the same thing. It's selfish but I was honest and he was too. And maybe it just got me a mite too giddy."
>"Well... weirder things have happened, I guess..."
>Are they really discussing you?
>They sound so level-headed about it all
>You hear Applejack gulp down something
>"Now... I haven't thought out all of the details. But, say if he can't go back. Which I hope he can, if that's what he wants. But say he can't. He's gonna be alone here. So I went and just opened up everything. Yeah, I know, I didn't let him wander none. And yeah, I didn't really do a ton with him. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I could do, without chasing him off. I mean, can you blame me?"
>She sounds like she's on the verge of tears, but hasn't yet let herself get to that point
>She definitely is strong
>"You aren't wrong... I guess this is a bit awkward, since I was having the same ideas. I let him stay here until he would want something more... academic. Then after going through the growing pains of getting magic, we... er... he and I could go to Canterlot for a bit. Formally introduce him to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and then see what their thoughts were on this."
>"I guess that ain't a bad idea, is it."
>"She would certainly know better than either of us. And she would probably know how to send him back to his world."
>"Twilight... please be honest with me. Do you think he would go back if he had the chance? Would he really just up and go?"
>Twilight doesn't answer
>Not for a few moments
>"I don't know. I think both of us handled this pretty poorly."
>"Can't we... just... you know, what if we..."
>Applejack is at a loss for words
>"I know we can't lie to him. You certainly can't. We've done enough of that, no matter what shape it was in. He needs friends now more than ever. And... if either of us have any ideas or plans with him... we should maybe be a little less..."
>"Crazy?"
>"I was going to say 'insistent' but... yes. Less crazy."
>Applejack laughs
>It's less than a happy laugh
>"I... I don't know what's with me. I feel like if I let him get away, I'm done for."
>"I know what you mean. He's a discovery that's once in a millennia... imagine what it would be like to have someone like him around for a lot of things..."
>They both go silent
>You've been staring up at the late evening sky the entire time, your body having since long relaxed
>Applejack speaks up
>Her voice is wavering, like she's not sure she wants to speak
>"I... I ain't gonna lose to you, Twilight. I think I can give him a lot. And he wants a lot of kids, he said so himself. And I want a lot too. Even if I didn't have the acres to tend to. I ain't gonna let you or anyone else take that from me."
>Twilight replies to that with a laugh
>"Applejack, that's sweet. But it isn't your choice to make. If he happens to fall for... let's say a unicorn that knows him inside and out, could you blame him if he just followed his heart?"
>"Wha... what are you saying to me, Twilight Sparkle?"
>"I'm saying, Applejack, my best friend, is that I'm not going to let you ruin my plans either."
>You can hear how far calmer Twilight is
>Except you can hear venom in her voice
>That 'you' sounds so bitter that it could wilt a flower
>They both sound like they're dead set on you
>But you heard the name Luna too
>What did Twilight really say to make her just up and stop helping when she said she would?
>What would this Celestia make of all of this?
>Living on the orchard wasn't perfect, but it was nice when you didn't have Twilight's intrusions nearly split your head open
>Neither of them are talking
>One's eating something, the other is drinking
>Something inside tells you that you gotta break the tension somehow
>You violently cough
"WU-HAUGH!"
>Both ponies scream and before you know it, you're face-first in the dirt
>"Twilight, you flipped the frame over!"
>"He surprised me!"
>"Get it off him before you hurt him any more than you already have dangit!"
>You groan and curse your inability to stay quiet
>At least the blanket loosened up around you
>Covered and surrounded with blankets and pillows, you rub your poor nose
>It isn't the biggest nose in the world and yet somehow it's the only thing that feels pain from all of that
"Thanks... no really, thanks. I was getting too comfy around here..."
>Applejack immediately dashes up to your side, rubbing her face against your shoulder
>"I'm sorry, sugarcube... did we wake you up?"
>You actually lean into her, knowing fully well her intentions
"No, I... uh, I kinda just came to on my own."
>The bed frame lands gracefully behind you
>A cup and a pair of biscuits float up to your chest
>"Applejack brought some snacks and drinks for us. We were waiting for you to wake up and... I guess you must've been sleepy. But that's alright, you usually sleep pretty hard when you're exhausted physically, right? These should help you."
>You can't shake how wary you are about her magic but you do take one of the biscuits
>As soon as you take hold of it, the magic around it dissipates
>It's a lot better than eating something that glows
>You defeat it with one chomp, watching where most of their conversation most likely took place
>A big picnic blanket
>A basket
>A pair of plates
>Even a kettle
>And Twilight, sitting on one side, looking at you with the sweetest smile you've seen on a technicolor pony
>"We were planning on having lunch with you but Applejack didn't pack enough... or I guess it's more fair to say that we were both a little more hungry than we initially thought."
>The jabs they're throwing at each other is unreal
"It's... fine. Really, it's nothing to worry over. I'm made of sterner stuff."
>"Oh, I know you are! But you know what they say about spears and bending, right?"
>Your eyebrow raises at her
"Come again?"
>Twilight's smile turns awkward
>"Oh... er, I'll explain later. But you're fine so that's alright, right?"
>She stands up and starts to approach you, from the side that isn't being assaulted by Applejack's snuggling
>"Applejack and I were talking about what we could do for you. Together, not with us at each other's throats and making things worse for you by being shortsighted or... over productive."
>She rests at your side, gently leaning her head on your arm
>"We're going to work together now. So, no matter what, you will get what you need. This includes a portal home, too!"
>At the mention of a portal, you can hear something of a sniffle from Applejack
>The sleeve of your jacket feels wet
>"If... you want one. It's really ok if you don't want, but..."
>Twilight's voice falters for only a second before she continues
>"Just in case. Right? Whatever your choice, you have me every step of the way."
>That reveal, that split second, tells you that she really did not want to say that
>Applejack isn't saying anything else and has resigned herself to burrowing her head underneath your arm, silently sniffling and whimpering
>Your hand goes to her side, stroking her
>"Because, you know... it's my fault that you're stuck here. And I gotta help you, even if it means..."
>Twilight is trying to force herself to speak more, as if it's completely fine
>You can see just one tear slip down her face despite her smile
>But she's not smiling or even looking at you
>She's just staring off ahead
>You bring up your hand and hug her with it
>She looks at you with a panicked look on her face, only to retreat back to her staring ahead
>You can see her lower lip tremble when you start to pet her side too
>From her shoulder down to her flank
>For Applejack, it's more from between her shoulder blades and down her spine to her tail
>You've been around animals more than long enough to know how to multitask
>You're not sure of what to say
>What can you say to this?
>You do want to go home
>At least, part of you does
>Even if it's only temporarily
>But at what cost?
"Don't worry... we'll figure this out. We're in no rush, right? And we got that sort of... spa or whatever that goofy thing is, right? I got my work cut out for me, there's no way I'll coward out now and leave you two..."
>Say the rest of it
>Say the rest of it now God damn it
"...alone to deal with this."
>That's better
>It was a lot easier to look forward to going home when you were isolated and wracked with nightmares

>You end up spacing out while petting the two ponies
>Neither of them are happy
>You aren't happy
>You just wanted to go home
>To go back to your normal life
>To go without those God damned nightmares that made time melt and killed your sense of inner peace
>Now you can't imagine going home without ruining lives
>You refuse to believe that you're so unique or that you're so special
>But then you are actually in the position to make two mares cry
>One made you a bed frame by herself
>The other wrote a miniature fucking library based off of your memories and did some sort of magical fuckery to try to give you magic
>At a dire cost you gladly don't want to pay
>But still
>You don't know too much about this world enough to care and be some grand innovator
>But the thought of owning land, of living in a nice, rural area with a sweet girl and making a large family with her?
>You really want that
>Applejack has had some suspect moments that make you worry
>But you don't completely see that as a reason to overlook all of the potential good
>And what about Pinkie?
>Is she going to pop up?
>What if she tells Twilight about Applejack?
>They had time to talk, maybe she already knows
>But then that wrestling match and...
>Applejack stopped crying, and violently nuzzled her face into your side, hiding herself from the outside world
>By feeling her side, you wonder if she might have fallen asleep
>You glance over to Twilight and she quickly looks back to you
>Yup, she's awake
>She looks a little rough and puffy from her tears
"Hey there."
>She giggles and smiles at you
>"Hi."
>You feel something tug at you
"Twilight... I'm sorry that I've been a bother since I got here. I never wanted to cause anyone any harm, emotional or otherwise."
>You want to include that you wish you were sent home immediately
>But you wouldn't be honest then
>Twilight laughs, gazing at you
>"Anonymous... you haven't hurt me at all. Even if you did, I would never complain."
>The way her words come out are luscious and pure adoration
"But you should. I don't want to see you hurt. Or to see App--"
>As soon as you attempt to bring up Applejack's name, Twilight lunges up to you
>She kisses you
>Hard
>Her tongue bursts out, slathering over your lips
>In the moment, for a split second, you reciprocate the kiss
>Your lips part only just
>That's enough for her
>She thrusts her tongue into your mouth, her intensity tripling
>She nearly pushes you back from the initial push
>Not wanting to risk Applejack waking up and seeing this, you push back
>She only huffs out through her nostrils and intensifies only harder
>The heat of her tongue and the force behind her actions are dizzying
>You've kissed Applejack but it was far more relaxing, far more mutual
>This is a starved mare devouring what was given in front of her
>You haven't closed your eyes during any of this
>She hasn't either
>Locked by something you can't explain, your eyes are on hers just as hers are on yours
>Every now and again, she pushes her head forward just to make you push back
>Another huff and your own tongue comes to life
>It attempts to wrestle against hers
>She's all too yielding
>At first
>Her tongue coils around yours, slithering over every corner of your mouth
>Effectively washing your mouth of any taste you could have that doesn't belong to her
>You can almost tell what she's thinking from the open, glossy stare she has aimed at you
>It says "mine"
>"mineminemineminemineminemineminemineminemineminemineMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE"
>Except it's not just your imagination
>Like a stereo going from dead to full blast, you can hear her frantically screaming into your head
>As loud as she is, it isn't ever loud enough to hurt
>In that moment, all you see is purple
>And it's true
>You are hers
>Just when her frantic, panting mental screaming gets to be too loud, she pulls back
>Her tongue lolling out, she stares at you with a wide smile
>And a few strands of saliva connecting your mouths, proof of her cleansing
>She slowly retracts her tongue, licking her lips
>You're thunderstruck
>You do the same
>She glances down at the sleeping Applejack curled into your side and visibly grimaces, only to changes faces once more when her eyes meet yours
>She mouths three words
>Three words that you can hear in your mind
>They're staggered, barely contained syllables
>"I"
>"Love"
>"You"
>Your heart skips a beat
>Curse your biology
>Curse your internal and innate weaknesses
>Curse whatever you need to because in that heated moment, you think the same three words to her
>That makes her smile even more
>It's an expression of utter glee and love
>And of victory
>After a few blinks, your vision goes back to normal
>She's the only purple around
>You lick your lips again, bringing up the hand you were using to pet Twilight
>You can only taste her
>And what she was eating before
>You try to overcome it
>Despite feeling your physical self pulse with the need to conquer and own
>You've gotten a strong sense of self control over the years
>But a lot of you wants to pin her down and impale her
>Maybe it's something in your eye or how you're voluntarily breathing
>But she knows it
>She knows it and that smile grows only ever wider
>She wants you to do it
>She wants you to make her your mare
>She wants you to use her body to give you as may foals as you desire
>Applejack isn't the only one who would be willing to give you what you need
>She would give you a family rivaling that of Applejack's entire lineage, in one generation
>She's too good at this
>You close your eyes and clench your hands into fists
>You force yourself to steady your breathing
>As much as you can
>She keeps staring at you
>You can feel it
>Despite your eyes being closed, it's almost as if you can see her perfectly in the void of darkness
>Staring at you
>And smiling
>And dripping
>And waiting
>But you can't
>Or you won't
>What would you say to Applejack?
>You are a couple
>...are you?
>You've known her for literal days
>And she's already mentioned you living on her land, starting a family, having your own little secret pond
>She's hit you just as hard with Twilight, but in her own special way
>It really is astonishing
>But you can't taste her in your mouth
>And she hasn't gotten you to the point that you might burst from five solid seconds of stimulation
>Your breathing does eventually slow
>You're better than this
>You're stronger than this
>You will not be swayed
>You will not be controlled
>If you could be alone for a few minutes you know you could purge all of this pent up need
>Then the thought hits you
>What if you're not ever going to be alone again?
>That is good, obviously, in a sense
>But it also means that you won't be able to... self-regulate
>That would put you at a dire disadvantage
>You eventually open your eyes, feeling heat on your face and on your lap
>Twilight's smile subsided
>Not nearly as crazed and hungry
>But more comfortable
>"Applejack's tea is really the best, isn't it?"
>She gives you a wink, letting the tip of her tongue wiggle out of her mouth for a little bit too long
"Y... yeah. She really makes the best stuff..."
>"Really? I'll have to make you some tea sometimes. I think you might like mine better. Call it intuition."
>She seems so happy with herself
>You glance down to Applejack
>She's actually asleep
>You can even hear her breath, if only barely
>What if Twilight decides to brag?
>What happens if she doesn't?
>"Don't worry about her, Anon. She's been up for a long time. We both have. You worry us sometimes, let me tell you!"
>And just like that, she sounds like a normal dork again
>Except she keeps extending her tongue with certain words
>Just for you
>Once the heat of the moment passed, Twilight returned to your side
>She was quite happy to snuggle up to you, completely ignoring her sleeping friend
>You could imagine the age-old adage of "you snoze, you lose"
>At least it wasn't something more violent like "you nappa, you get slappa"
>Twilight said something to you and you weren't even paying attention
>You shook your head
"S-sorry, I was distracted. What was that?"
>She giggled
>"I said if you keep moving your hand, you're going to start something."
>You were petting her
>From shoulder to flank
>But it eventually gravitated toward her hind end
>Less petting and more massaging
>Your fingertips were dangerously close to exploring more
"S-sorry."
>You said that but you didn't withdraw your hand
>Given the sleazy smile she gave, she was taking pride in how helpless you were against her
>Maybe you are
>Her fur and tail is different than Applejack's
>Speaking of, her tail is covering part of her
>This frustrates you more than it should
>Your index finger dances along the outline of her tail, only for it to flicker at you
>She's teasing you
>She's looking at you too, with the most innocent smile
>"Bit for your thoughts?"
>Her tail flicks up and away
>The way it moves, it's to signal to you that it's away
>You really shouldn't be this easy to tempt
>But you are
"Yeah... about that spa. Or whatever it was that you said you couldn't just fuel with wood. Very hot place."
>And boy was there warmth radiating
>"Oh, that! Yes, well as you know I brought you here because I thought you were from a steam dimension, so I thought that you would be a steamin' demon but evidently that isn't the case. We came to the conclusion that bringing something like that here wouldn't be so bad because when in doubt, we could just zap him back! Or that was the initial thought..."
>If it were cold out, you could imagine that she would be steaming right now
>Your fingers get ever closer to your goal, and while she smiles and nuzzles your side, she doesn't do a thing to show a single reaction
>"Given you being my result, I think I should stick a fork in the occult studies and call it done... I didn't think I would be dealing with anything really dangerous or risky!"
>You scoff, stroking a far more intimate part of her with just your index finger
"What, you think I'm dangerous?"
>It was amusing
>She thinks so too and smirks at you
"Well look what you've done to me and Applejack. I shudder to think of what you could do to Ponyville..."
>She visibly shudders when she says the word
>In part due to your direct action
"I suppose... maybe you have a point. But hey, I'm not like this with just anyone."
>Which was true
>Mostly
>You weren't at all like this with Applejack
>And Pinkie Pie had her own flavor of everything
>Twilight was doing a lot to stroke your ego, and you lacked the capacity to defend against it
"Anyway... have you tried chemistry? What are more practical ways you could get everything to stay steamy, if wood is really such a big cost?"
>Twilight flops her head against your leg, letting out a long, drawn out 'hmmmm'
>You nudge a finger against a certain rounded part, making her flinch
>She waits to answer, adjusting to your own form of teasing
>She deserves it, honestly
>And it's a drop in the bucket compared to what she's done to you
>"Well... chemistry isn't my strongest suit. Alchemy is nice, and I've mixed a good few potions before but it was never my talent, as you can obviously tell."
>You keep rubbing and poking against her pearl, a bit absent-minded
"Obviously?"
>"Cutie mark, Anon."
>You look down from her face to her flank
>That's what that goofy marking is
>Her hind leg is twitching hard, occasionally kicking out
>Serves her right
"Well, still. You gotta know someone who can do that, right? Let's see..."
>You bring your middle finger in, giving her pony pearl twice the attention
>She shifts her head and exhales into your lap
>Right against a very specific part of your lap
>Only fabric is in the way
"In my world, we have these pocket hand warmers, right? They're pretty much just iron filings-dust, basically-and... I think salt. Expose it to air and it heats up. It's pretty mild but there are some hardcore variations..."
>"Mmhmm..."
>Twilight nods, opening her lips
>She begins to mouth your erecting pole
"And uh... let's see..."
>You squeeze her pearl between your index and middle finger, watching her flinch and shake
"I guess if we get enough of that, we can mix the two together? But that might not be enough. It would be hot but it kinda dies after a few hours..."
>"Mmhmmm"
>If she's listening, she doesn't show it
>She's enthusiastically mouthing you through the tunic flap
>It's starting to be too much
>You nudge her warm, leaking flank with a finger
>She doesn't stop but she looks up at you
>She was almost a little cross-eyed with her focus
>You nod at her
>She seems to get the idea
>Her horn begins to glow and the tunic flap lifts up
>Just enough to cover her mouth
>A new world of heat is discovered
>And her tongue is just as hungry now as it was moments before
>You renew your assault on her, closing your eyes
"So... we find enough... mix it... and..."
>As soon as her tongue uncoils around you, you burst
>As you do, you hear something spray out from her
>You can even smell it
>Smells like hot mare
>You grip her flank with the strength of a human man, legs trembling and hips jutting
>She doesn't stop, no matter how much you give her
>Even after you're done giving, she doesn't stop
>You're unable to speak, and your side is paralyzed from Applejack
>Unable to think straight, you push your two fingers into her
>That causes another spray that hits part of your hand
>Neither of you are willing to accept defeat, though only she can expel more from overstimulation
>Eventually her stamina dies first
>She stops twitching, her intense suction finally dies down
>If you didn't know better, you might have thought that you were the only thing in her mouth keeping her from screaming
"...so what do you think?"
>You break the less than perfect attempt at silence, huffing
>Twilight looks up at you, keeping her mouth full
>She nods
"Al-alright... first thing's first..."
>You slide your fingers out from her and hold them up to her nose
"We gotta find a mine. Or some sort of... iron mill? Processing plant? Can you figure out where you guys collect iron? Even if it's scraps and other raw bits, we can just shred them?"
>Twilight finally relinquishes you from her maw, only to clamp down on your entire hand
>It's kinda funny to see just how easily your hand fits
>Rather than letting her tongue lash over your hand, you grab onto it
>Her eyes widen at the capture
>You smirk
"You're quiet all of a sudden. Something up?"
>She slowly shakes her head, the tip of her tongue curling around your wrist
>Whether or not you're under her influence, you haven't a single clue
>But right now, with your fingers wrapped around her tongue, your taste in her mouth and part of you going to her stomach
>You know that she's yours
>The world looks just a bit more purple than it did before
>But this time it may be because all you can focus on is her
>You were enjoying your time with Twilight, believe it or not
>She eventually relinquished your hand, but only to the point that she insisted on licking or nibbling your fingers
>You've had animals do worse so maybe you just didn't think much about it
>What you did think about, however, was that you could still consider Twilight to just be a pony but still be sexually attracted to her
>Good thing no one would really be around to care
>You glance over to your other side
>Applejack had shifted, or slid, into laying on her side, with her face pressing into your leg
"She's... really tired..."
>Picking up on how you were no longer watching her, her jaw twitched
>Not enough to bite down, but enough to notice
"Was she really that tired?"
>The unicorn pushes your fingers out of her mouth with her tongue, acting as if a bitter taste were in her mouth
>"She's fine, everyone sleeps."
"Yeah but... I don't know. I can't just leave her like this. If she wakes up without me around, she might think the worse. I guess I would if I were her..."
>No matter what, you couldn't just leave her
>Even if she regularly left you
>It made sense because she lived here
>You might too
>Maybe
>You hear a frustrated growl from the unicorn and she devours your hand once more
>She's really attempting to gain your attention
>Chuckling, you form a circle with your index finger and thumb
>Immediately, she pushes her tongue through it
>You can feel her staring into the side of your head
"Twilight... do you really dislike Applejack?"
>Twilight doesn't answer at first, instead focusing on the circular entrance you made for her tongue
>She eventually pulls back
>"Of course not. She's one of my best friends. But... it doesn't mean I'm ok with you being with her. You deserve better, frankly, and I don't think she's cut out for it."
>That's cold
>Her tone is just as frigid, and sounds like a factual statement
"You don't know that..."
>"Yes I do. Why don't you think she has someone already?"
>You give her a harsh glare
"Why don't you, if you think you're so better?"
>You pull your hand out of her mouth and her tongue follows
>She stares at you, unblinking, while the tip of her tongue waggles against the tip of of your middle finger
>"I don't have someone already because I don't care about ponies that aren't interesting to me. I don't care about ponies that aren't willing to challenge me. I don't care about mundane earth ponies, or bird-brained pegasi."
>She sounds almost bitter
"So... why not a unicorn like yourself?"
>She starts to smile with that stare, her tongue still out
>"Because they're weak. You're strong. You could beat any pony in anything. With my help. You know so much more than anyone else in my world, you could change the face of Equestria. When we have foals, they will be able to do anything in the world at all."
>Still staring, she leans forward, letting her tongue trail up your hand, up your wrist, to your arm
>You can feel her trace one of your blood veins, that look blue in the bright sun against your pale skin
>"I'm not the element of love, but our love will be told for generations. Just as our discoveries."
>Whether or not you admit it, what she says sounds enticing
>It's by and far different than what Applejack has ever mentioned, but it's still pleasant promises
>The way she stares at you, you believe that she means it
>With magic, who knows what can or can't be done
>You gulp at the sensation of her bringing herself to her hooves, tracing your vein to your upper arm until she reaches your shoulder
>"Come with me, Anon. What are you waiting for? I am ready. I will make sure my body is ready."
>Her open offer and promises are enough to make your head spin
>You do not have any capacity to adequately talk her down or deny her
>There's only one thing on your mind that stands out and shines through the purple
"But... Applejack. I owe her. Whether or not she just said that to keep me here, it's true. No matter what happens, I can't take advantage of what I've been given here."
>Twilight's face twitches to a frown
>It's like it's a genuine inability to comprehend your position
>"She'll understand. We can make her understand if we just show her our results. Our discoveries, our technical advancements. Our family."
>The sheer force of her coming on so strong is finally allowing you to think a little more clearly
"L-listen, Twilight... one thing at a time, please. I said that there's no rush. We get things done, one at a time, and... we just go from there. What will happen will happen. It's like playing an RPG, you know?"
>No, she probably wouldn't know
>Still, you continue
"We're starting at level one, and by end game we'll be in our fifties or higher. And then post-game we'll reach even greater heights. Right now, we're still at the lower levels. We gotta build things up. Get stronger. Be tested by adversity. Only then do you know that you have something solid and worth defending and keeping."
>As you speak, her smile returns
>The happy gleam in her eye comes back too, turning back to an adoring gaze
"We level up. We face our bosses and challenges, and come out stronger for it. When it comes to... any portal home... that can wait. I promise. Until everything's settled here, I give you my word."
>Twilight hugs you
>You think you got through to her
>You did mean it
>There's no way you couldn't mean it
>You wish Applejack was awake for you to hear it, since you would say it to her too
>You don't know who is or isn't genuine, or what their real plans are
>But part of you is starting to like both of them
>You don't think you should
>Especially due to what Twilight did to you
>But it's because of her that you find yourself so conflicted too
>Maybe she had a good reason to do what she did
>Maybe you were overreacting
>Maybe you just need to be stronger

>"Anonymous. You're so sweet."
>Twilight hasn't let go of you
>You kinda don't want her to
>Going from hardly anyone paying you attention or giving you affection to this is a lot to take in
>But that hard shell you grew is still there to protect you
>And it keeps her words from making you instantly fall for her and agree to anything
>But the heat and proximity of her hug
>It is really, really hard to not melt
>It's almost as if she knows exactly what to do
"Yeah..."
>The way she presses her body against you
>The way she nuzzles the side of your face with hers
>You really aren't able to defend against this
"Twilight..."
>"Yes, Anon?"
"That spa..."
>You hear something resembling a growl
>She releases you from her hug
>"You're so dutiful. A good trait to have as a father, I'll have you know! Trust me, I've done a lot of research into ideal traits. Just as an ideal trait for me, as a mother-in-training, is to love my husband and the father of my children to the ends of the earth and beyond."
>Jesus, she's hitting hard and doesn't know when to stop
>You're borderline flustered at this point
"So, iron mines... workshops. Factories? Do you know where we can get some? If that iron oxidization can be done enough in something resembling a... big bowl or whatever, could that work? Could use coals too. Some countries from my world have little hot boxes that make steam."
>You motion with your hands as you speak, derailing your own train of thought
"Wait. Coal. You guys got coal, right? Why not just find some of that?"
>Twilight watches you Rain Man your way through the situation
>Your deduction skills make her eyes sparkle
>"Oh Anon, of course we have coal! But it's not the most affordable thing and... well, a steamin' demon would still be free."
>She smiles as if it's all the explanation you deserve
"...is there no community fund toward this? You guys didn't have any sort of fund raising?"
>Twilight shakes her head
>"No. Everyone thought it would be a good idea but no one really needs it so... no one is willing to put down any bits. It sure sounds like a good idea for Ponyville to have though!"
>You scrunch your face and look at her
>You're finding this difficult to believe
"Twilight."
>"Yes, Anonymous?"
"Purple dream."
>That makes her heart skip a beat
>Her tail flickers and her eyes shine brighter
>"Yes?!"
"...is this really for your town or just for you and your friends?"
>"Well they're the same thing!"
>You aren't sure if she's giving you fake answers or if she really just attempted to summon a demon from another dimension for something so petty and ill thought out
"... what is the capacity of this spa, sauna, spauna thing you want? How many ponies did you want in it at once?"
>Twilight finally breaks eye contact from you, tilting her head to ponder the concept
>"I... don't know... Everyone gets a turn, right? So I guess it doesn't matter if the capacity is for two ponies or twenty."
>She looks into your soul again, happy as can be
>You find it hard for her to be this dense
"YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT ANY SPECIFICS AT ALL, HAVE YOU?!"
>You throw up your arms, falling onto your back
>Thankfully you avoid from landing on the sleeping apple mogul
"You're telling me you, on a whim, wanted to build a place that has steam, so you decided to summon a fucking fire demon--"
>"Ahem, steamin' demon, Anon."
"A FUCKING FIRE DEMON!"
>You screech, your voice breaking
"To just... magic one up? Don't you have something like this in your world already?"
>"We sure do, in Manehattan. But not in a tiny town like Ponyville."
>You feel the life drain from your body
>What are these punny names
"Alright... so let's go bit by bit. We get charcoal and pour water on it, you get steam. You boil water, you get steam. We combine the two, add some goofy herbs and spices, bam, you have a scented spa."
>To you, an internet-educated man of modern culture, it seems like a no-brainer
>Of course, it would take some time and effort to collect the resources and to find the right building but it would be considerably affordable to anyone with the right mindset
>Twilight, however, does not have the internet
>She falls on your lap and slithers up until her head is resting on your chest
>She audibly swoons
>"What even were you in your world? Why didn't I think of that?"
>You shrug, feeling even more of your life leave your body from shame
"Warehouse worker. Education isn't worth much anymore."
>Twilight practically vibrates
>"Brains and brawn! I knew I wasn't wrong when I summoned you!"
>You're not sure if that helps
"Yeah... so let's rethink this. A small room or a hut. Small pit where we can pour water on hot coals. Water containers we can boil with high heat. That won't cost a lot, right?"
>Twilight waits to answer, presumably due to her thinking it all over
>"Good question! I don't know. But I can ask around. Between all six of us, we can figure it out and have a grand time!"
"Seven."
>"Come again?"
"Well... I know there are six of you but I can't just sit here and do nothing."
>It takes another moment before Twilight catches what she said
>"Oh! Oh, yeah, totally. Applejack will be there too, of course."
>That's cold
"You really should ease up on her."
>"When should we do all of that?"
>You shrug
"I have no clue, I'm stuck here. If you could assemble everyone here, we could assign duties or something."
>Actually, you're eight, not seven
"Wait, Zecora too! She probably has a good selection of herbs and scents, and I bet she could help us out."
>Twilight audibly reacts in an almost disgusted manner
>"Do you really need her to show up too?"
"Hell yeah. Her shit's all goofy but she's given me some really great stuff."
>"Stuff that I don't like..."
>That's partially why you respect her
>You want to keep yourself guarded
>At least until you think you can trust her
>You can, right?
"Either way, can you do that? When Applejack wakes up..."
>You glance over to her
>She's sleeping a little too hard, given your recent noise level
>You don't suspect anything
>But
"...yeah... when she does, she can grab her and whoever else. And then we can figure it out. We already have a plan so that's half the battle right?"
>Twilight slithers up your body more, until you're face to face
>You keep watching Applejack but Twilight is dangerously close
>"Hey Anon."
"Mm?"
>"Look at me instead."
>You don't want to try to argue or anything
>But you want to watch Applejack
>"Anon, look at me. I'm doing a goofy face."
>You can see, out of the corner of your eye, that her eyes have gone full derp
>But you still watch Applejack
>Specifically you watch her chest, to make sure she's still breathing
>She is
>But it's shallow breathing
>"Anon, look at me. I'm sleepy too."
>You've never seen her sleep before
>"Anon, I'm cute when I sleep too."
>Has she wanted to sleep with you?
>"Anon, you can do anything to me in my sleep."
>The idea of doing that on the frame she made, wrapped up in familial blankets and quilts sounds comfy
>"Anon, I'll play with you when you sleep too."
>Please wake up and help with this
>"I'll wake you up in a special way too."
>At least move a little
>"If you don't look at me, I'll scream."
>She's ok, right?
>"I'll do it."
>Twilight didn't do anything to her, right?
>"I'm doing it."
>She wouldn't use her magic on others, would she
>"Last warning, Anon."
>You refocus to Twilight
>She looks like she's on the verge of tears
>The shift in focus surprises even her
>She sniffles, but smiles wide
>"That's so much better. Don't look at her, ok?"
>You don't think you can confront her about it
>Not alone, anyway
"Twilight."
>"Yes Anon?"
>She pushes her face against yours until your lips are together
>You see her eyes dart from Applejack to you
>As if showing her just how much more successful she is
>You lean your head back as much as you can
>Which isn't much given you're laying on grass
"Can you grab everyone so we can get started on this? I'm kinda starting to look forward to this whole spa business."
>Twilight doesn't react to you
>You don't know if she anticipated you to be so focused
>"Right... right."
>She darts her head forward for a kiss but ends up hitting your chin rather than your lips
>"Sorry... I'm a little excitable. I'll go get everyone and be right back, ok? I'm gonna... I'm gonna go."
>She doesn't get off of you
>She's making you feel very awkward
>"You'll miss me, right?"
>For some reason, that stabbed you right in the heart
"Yeah... of course. But we gotta take care of business first. Right?"
>You give her a quick squeeze of a hug with the arm you've devoted to her
>That makes her visibly relax
>"Thank you. You're right... you're very much right. We have a mission to do. And together, we'll see it through."
>She slides off of you in a sluggish manner
>"Alright, I'll be back soon! Take care of Applejack for us, we don't want her to cause any further complications!"
>She stands up and explodes in a blast of purple
>Did she always teleport so... violently?
>Freed from her pressure, you focus on Applejack
"Hey, AJ... you alright?"
>You nudge her
>The faintest of nudges
>Her head jerks up
>She looks like she's been sleeping for weeks
>Her eyes are a little derped out with some saliva drooling out from the corner of her mouth
>"Whozza... ahm up, ain't no..."
>She lets out a loud, unladylike yawn, shaking all over
>"Whoa... how long was I out?"
>You sigh, feeling relief
>But you can't get the feeling that this is a little too convenient
"Too long... you had me worried, you know."
>"Worried, nuthin'. You slept longer than I did and it wasn't even a real sleep!"
>Another loud yawn and she looks more normal
>"Where's that Twilight, anyhow?
>She scans the immediate area
>She notices the semi-dried puddle of mud and dirt
>She looks over you
>You're sure she can smell well on top of it all
>Her eyes narrow
>"What has she done to you, Anon?"
>Aw shit
"Twilight is... I don't think she's playing subtle anymore. B-but listen, I got a plan for the spa thing. You know, the reason why I was brought here."
>You explain to her the basic ideas, and that Twilight went to gather the gang
>And that Zecora is also required
>Applejack smirks at you
>"Clever dog, Anon... we get Zecora here, we can make everything Twilight-proof! That way she can't sabotage anything and blame me for it."
>Wait what
"She would do that?"
>"Only one way to find out, right? That's why we gotta protect ourselves, just in case."
>She stumbles to her hooves, yawning again
>She still looks like she's tired
>Exhausted might more be the word
"Listen, you want me to come with you? It'd be better if we-"
>Applejack shakes her head
>Multiple times
>You're not sure if she's doing that to wake up or to answer you
>Either way, she's at least moving toward the general direction of the little picnic area she set up when she was speaking to Twilight
>"I'm gonna grab Zecora again and..."
>She yawns yet again
>"And we're gonna get all set up. I sure hope she ain't minding us bothering her so much. I got some stuff here I didn't let Twilight touch so y'all eat up now."
>Before you can even talk to her more, she gallops away
>You gotta give her points for being so focused
>But something is worrying you about her
>Worse yet, you're kinda just left here with nothing you can do
>Again
>You wanted to go with her and help too

>Rather than sit around and wait for the pair to return, you get up and dust yourself off
>You feel... quite satisfied from Twilight, honestly
>And you feel kinda annoyed at Applejack
>You were worried, no matter how valid a reason, and she just brushed you off!
>You still are happy for what Rarity made for you, though
>Applejack did pay a lot for it in raw resources
>The tunic is far more solid than what it was before
>And the jacket is really nice
>It's just something you wouldn't
>You really shouldn't be ungrateful but she isn't doing so great on her side either
>That bruise on your leg still doesn't look all that great
>After circling the area around your bed frame a few times you shrug
"I need a bath..."
>Not that you mind how slimy you are, but you do need to scrub off
>The scent of mare on you is really nice
>But
>It's hardly appropriate given a lot of ponies are going to be here soon
>What would Twilight have done if Applejack was right there?
>Though it could be seen as bad taste, you head to the little pond that Applejack introduced to you to wash off
>It's not like she couldn't find you
>You kinda do taking baths too
>You miss shampoo
>And soda
>And vidya
>Maybe once you're back you should go through those books Twilight wrote for you
>Your headaches and everything have pretty much subsided at this point
>Can you really hold a grudge to her, now that you know her intentions?
"Kinda... but not really..."
>You mutter to yourself to break up the silence
>You haven't been stuck outside this long for a while now
>You kinda like it
>You're much careful this time around going down the steep incline to the pond
>Scouting it out, it really does look like it's secluded pretty well from all but an aerial view
>You strip down and sit at the edge of the pond
>Last time you were here alone...
"...Pinkie?"
>Nothing
"Pink... ponk. Punk. Penk. Pank."
>You hesitantly check over your shoulder
>Nothing
>You squint and scan the pond's water line
>Nothing
>You sigh
>Finally you can be alone
>"Psst."
>You flinch
>What the hell was that?
>"Psssst."
>You don't get it
>You're alone
>A sense of deep dread filling your gut, you look down
>A pony face, covered in dirt, is staring up at you
>An inch away from your crotch, even
>You let out your best, most masculine scream
>You scramble out of the way while the earth itself erupts!
>Out comes a slightly dirty pink pony
"Jesus Christ! How do you find yourself in these situations?!"
>"I'm a flower and got watered, yay!"
>She stands on her back legs, basking in newfound freedom
"You make no sense, explain!"
>She doesn't seem to mind your shouting, instead going down to all founds and hopping over to you
>"Easy, Twilight told me to keep an eye on you so I told her that I'd keep both on you! She told me that she knew you were gonna be here to clean up because you had fun with her!"
>That's
>Uncanny
"When did... how did...?"
>She doesn't seem to pay attention to the notion of personal space and hops right up to you
>"Magic link, remember?"
"No I don't!"
>You try to stand up but she bellyflops onto your legs
>"Well that's ok! I'm here to help with the spa too!"
"It's not o-wait. You know about the spa plan?"
>"Well of course! I even saw what you and Twilight were doing..."
>She smirks at you
>She is indeed a dirty pony
>Wait
>Eye check
>Her eyes aren't purple
>So Twilight isn't spying on you at this exact moment
"Y... yeah well..."
>You sigh
"Don't tell Applejack, ok? They're evidently patching things up or... something. They aren't trying to murder each other, which I think is a good thing."
>She's laying on her side so it's not as if she's overtly trying to do anything to you
"Why do you like sitting in my lap so much? That's the first damned thing you did when I popped up."
>Pinkie giggled and shrugged
>"Pinkie sense tells me you're nice!"
>What the fuck is a Pinkie sense
"You don't know that. I could've been a murderer back home."
>She's unconvinced
>"A murderer of a lot of things, but not animals and certainly not ponies!"
>Well she has you there, doesn't she
>You sigh and bring your hand up to pet her dirty mane
"Alright fine, you have a point."
>"You look happier than before too! Did Twilight help you out that much?"
>You frown
>Well, part of you was quite happy to get some much needed relief
>Something about Twilight's words worked well on you too
"I... can't say. But she's really not the monster I thought she was. Maybe."
>"Well of course she's not a monster! She wrote a ton of those books for you in between rubbing herself against them!"
"Well she must've been writ--what."
>That didn't gel well with you
>"Yeah! She kept telling herself that because she was getting them all wet that the books would last longer and that you would like reading them more!"
>That's...
>That's out there
>You frown, trying to find a way to voice your complaints
>Nothing comes out
"Were you... watching her?"
>"Of course I was! She didn't know but I did it took with a few books after she was done!"
"Ok, stop. You're making me not want to touch them."
>"It's fine, the ink is water proof!"
"I said chill, pink creature!"
>She giggles and rolls around on your legs until she finds herself between them
>With her back on the ground, she looks up at you with the widest, most pure smile
>"You're funny."
"Thanks, I don't try to be."
>"You know, Twilight really likes you."
"Yeah... yeah, I know."
>"Do you like her too?"
"Well... I guess so. But I also like Applejack too."
>You shrug, sighing
"I like both. I like Zecora because she's helped me a whole ton. I like Rarity because she made me my clothing, twice! I like you because you helped set up that party, presumably-"
>"I did!"
"Yeah, there you go. Have I even been here for a week yet? It's been absolute chaos for days now. I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares, I didn't feel like I was even alive, now I have an outfit, I have books, I have a bed to sleep on..."
>Rather than watch her, who's watching you, you watch the pond water line
>You rest a hand on her chest and give her a pet, out of sheer reflex
>She giggles, pushing her chest out against your hand
>"See? Pinkie sense never lies!"
"Well alright, you got me there. Grew up around animals far more than people, and like them that much more, so you win."
>"Yay!"
>Her legs kick out, all of them thankfully short enough to avoid hitting your face
>"What do I win?"
>Her personality is infectious, you'll give her that
"Hm..."
>You bring down your other hand on her
"Even more petting!"
>You scrape your fingers along her ribs, occasionally going down to her belly
"Alright... I'll give you this much, you are a cool gal."
>She's been the only one who's been actively goofing around with you, to be honest
>Even if it was on Twilight's orders
"Hey Pink. Is it alright if I ask something?"
>You don't sound hopeful at all
>She picks up on this and looks at you with her smile
>Upside down or no, it makes you smile
"Whatever's been going on with Twilight and Applejack and whoever else... can you just be my friend for all of this?"
>She rattles her head up and down, giggling even more
>It must be a thing that she does normally or something
>"Of course I can be your friend? But what about Twilight and Applejack? Aren't they your friends too? Twilight's been mighty friendly!"
>You choose to ignore her second statement
>But your body still reacts
>Her mane feels soft
"I... I don't know, honestly. Twilight has done a lot, helping with the party and then the... uh... books. But she also really fucked with my head for a while too. That's a new sort of pain I didn't ever think I'd feel."
>You loll your head to the side
"And then there's Applejack... she's said a lot of the right things about having a family, having a less complicated life... she seems like super nice mother material. But... she hasn't really tried to be my friend. Is that a stupid thing to complain about?"
>Pinkie's smile turns to more of a grin
>"So... it takes more than a few rounds of Bounce On Anon to be friends?"
>You stammer for a bit and nod
"W-well... yeah. That... sort of thing..."
>"Should be like a game?"
"Yeah! It should be fun, not just some mechanical function."
>"Like a wrestling match?"
>You look down at her to offer a rebuttal
>The grin she's giving you is downright lecherous
>Once more, your body reacts
"That... that doesn't count."
>"Oh yes it did."
"No it didn't."
>"Yeah-huh."
"No, nu-uh."
>"Why didn't it then?"
"Because you came out of nowhere! I ended up sore all over and..."
>"You sure bruised me up too, big guy."
>As if to emphasize it, her lower legs casually spread open
>You avert your eyes, still petting her ribs
>She giggles once more
>"Oh come on, if you won you would have done the same to me!"
"What? That's silly, I wouldn't do that."
>"You wouldn't want to take what would have been your prize...?"
>What is it with these ponies and their words
>You try to ignore the physical reaction she's been getting out of you
"...no comment."
>She stretches, sighing
>"Boy, Applejack and Twilight don't know what they're missing... isn't it nice to just relax under the sun with a good friend?"
>You nod, sighing
"Yeah... it really is. You know, I haven't had a friend to just hang out with for a long time now. I was so used to just sleeping, working, playing games and..."
>You purse your lips
"...self... soothing..."
>Pinkie laughs at your awkward tone
>"You mean what you did in me?"
>You purse your lips
"...suuure..."
>You clear your throat
"Either way, my life was pretty bleak when you looked at it. I lived alone. I had no one who visited me. I only had vaguely-shaped, long term goals to keep me anything resembling happy. And no matter how much time went on, those long term goals still looked to be far off into the distant future. "
>Though she's still smiling, you can tell that she can tell that something's up
>You find yourself staring at your hands like they're not even yours
>Maybe it's some sort of vacant gaze or that you seem like you're looking right through them but
"And now... I don't know about Twilight. She's going from one extreme to the next of hurting to helpful. Applejack... I think may not really want to hang out with me. But do what, I don't even know. I'm some alien to this place. I wouldn't know where to go or what to do. And I feel like that's something that would be used against me, like I'm supposed to know. I'm kinda lost here. I don't even have the agency to just waltz off into the woods and do whatever nature has in store for me because I'd probably cause more issues that way. And I just don't really want to be a bother. I feel like I need some sort of goal to work toward, otherwise I feel like I'm being a waste."
>"Hey..."
>Pinkie stretches up, rubbing her front hooves against your stomach
>"You shouldn't think like that... look at how much excitement you've brought to everyone so far! I bet Zecora doesn't get to do much with all of her weird bottled up gunk! And when has Rarity ever gotten a chance to work on anything but ponies? You've even gotten Twilight to come out of her home when she's spent weeks on that cult stuff!"
"That whole occult business?"
>"Yeah!"
>That's what brought you here
"I guess... but now I'm kinda just told to hurry up and wait. Again."
>She almost kneeds against your stomach as you pet her
>Maybe her own method of trying to pet you?
>"That's why you got ol' Pinkie Pie! Say the word and 'poof', I'll be there!"
>You're a little worried that she may, in fact, be some sort of weird demon genie
"Thanks... but... for now, can you kinda just stick around? In the event that Applejack or Twilight wants to be alone with me, can you kinda... I guess keep an eye out, in case anything weird happens?"
>You're not sure what Applejack would ever do to you that's weird
>But you know that once all of that magic-retardant shit cycles through your system you're fair game to anything Twilight could cook up
>"Maaaybe... I'll do it on one condition!"
>Aw shit
>Of course
"I-I can't pay you, so..."
>That makes her laugh
>It's always a genuine laugh too, nothing that looks or sounds forced
>"I don't need payment or money, silly!"
>She grins at you again
>Even upside down, that grin is laced with ulterior motive and hunger
>"Pinkie promise me you'll always be my best friend."
>Well, despite the lucha loss you took, she has been the most friendly one here through everything
>And she's already been spying on you on Twilight's behal, for lack of a more eloquent phrase
"Of course. If you ever got any issues or need help or... whatever, I guess, lemme know. I'm not on anyone's chain."
>"Yay!"
>The sheer excitement of her reaction causes her to jump up into the air, despite having laid on her back
>You flinch at how she whips her body around, landing on all four hooves
>Between your legs no less, so nothing got stomped on
>Thank fuck for that
>But with her newfound height, she leans in until she's an inch away from your face
>"And... a kiss. I don't kiss friends... but I would really, really, really really REALLY like a kiss from you."
>She lets out a soft giggle when she sees the physical reaction her words caused
>"You don't seem to dislike the idea..."
>You really shouldn't
>You really, seriously shouldn't
>Things are goofy enough between the two ponies
>But she has been your friend
>And...
>Without saying anything, you end up kissing her
>Or rather, she kisses you
>She kisses far less aggressively than Twilight, though you still end up tasting her tongue
>It's just as playful as her, and twice as energetic
>She tastes sweet, too
>More than just sugary or creamy sweet
>For however long the kiss lasts, she eventually breaks it off
>"Puah..."
>She lets her tongue hang out
>She winks at you
>"Thanks. I was starting to wonder if I'd never get to find out what it was like!"
"S-sure... y-you too..."
>She giggles and turns around, bending over
>You can see her actively winking at you
>"Last one in's a rotten egg!"
>She bounds off and dives into the pond
>Well she was dirty
>You are too
>Both in body and mind, evidently
"H-hey, don't cheat!"
>You stumble to your feet and head in
>Given how shallow the pond is at the edge, you'd be insane to dive in anyway
>Whatever thoughts you can or can't help, you find yourself smiling
>You've made a friend
>A really good friend

>Though there's the occasional flirting overtone, you have a lot of fun in the pond with Pinkie
>You aren't fully sure if you should be so open but with how she acts, it really doesn't seem like she would be the sort to backstab you or sell you out to Twilight
>After all, she still has information on you that Twilight doesn't know, like when you were with Applejack
>Most would consider naked wrestling a euphemism but with her?
>It's real
>She'll dive under and upend you by grabbing your leg and breaking the surface
>You'll put her in a headlock and go 'glub glub' while keeping her head under
>She'll torpedo headbutt you
>You'll grab her and suplex her, almost assuredly getting water up your nose in the process
>By the time you're both tired and finished trying to do the other one in, you both paddle to the shore
>You're a tiny bit more battered than you were before
>Pinkie seems pooped and then some but she's happy as can be
>"Wow... I had never known that Marco Polo could involve that stuff!"
"Yeah... that's... that's the real deal!"
>You heave between words, clearing your nose and throat of water
>You're both clean at least
>Before you know what's what, Pinkie drags herself to you and puts her head on your stomach, facing the pond
>You can see that even with the back of her head visible, her mane still has that curly consistency
>You end up petting her, sighing
>This is far more your pace
>No nightmares
>No talk of owing anyone and of working
>Just a little rough housing and horseplay
>With the occasional grope or lick from her, of course
"This has been awesome... I think this is the first day since I've been here that I really felt a bit carefree."
>The pink pone giggles
>"Now that's what I love to hear! You really shouldn't worry so much, you know?"
"Sure... but every pony here is pushing something on me. And a lot of their offers are seriously tempting too..."
>"Yeah? Which ones?"
"Well.. Applejack saying she wants a family... Twilight offering one too, and then some."
>You feel yourself react to both of their words
>"Ooh, I see exactly what you mean!"
>Not thinking anything of her facing your lap, you nod while looking up to the sky
"Yeah... I want a family, too... I want that with someone who I know wants me."
>"Well, you know... I came from a BIG family! From a farm, too!"
>Who knew that Pinkie was a farm girl?
"Huh... yeah? What did you guys have?"
>"Rocks."
"...huh?"
>"Rocks, silly!"
"H... how do you..."
>"Well rocks are really hard, so you could say that we got used to dealing with hard, rocky-shaped things!"
>You jump a little when you feel a hoof press up against your very own rock
>"You have an affinity with animals... I have an affinity with rocks! It's really as natural as can be!"
>You don't know why but you find yourself laughing
>You don't know if she's serious about the rock farm but you did find that funny
"Ah... this place is just... all over, huh."
>You don't exactly do anything to stop her from touching you
"Hey... maybe this isn't the best thing to ask, but... between Twilight and Applejack. Neither of them are going to stop, I don't think. I don't really know what they'll do. Who should I trust? Who should I believe in?"
>Pinkie doesn't answer you for a while, deciding to keep prodding and exploring you
>"Well... who makes you happy?"
>A very obvious question
>A question so obvious you don't know how to answer it
"I... don't know. Both have done a lot for me. Both have... not really been the most helpful, in some ways. But I can't really be so demanding."
>"Is it demanding to want to be made happy?"
>You're trying to ignore her hoof-focused manipulation of you but it's getting difficult
"W-well not really, but..."
>Your hand tightens into a fist while holding her mane
"Pinkie, you..."
>"Shhh... I'm just polishing a really neat rock I found in the pond! Did you know that if a rock is flat it can skip along water? I once skipped a rock across a river and hit the other side!"
>She's just carrying on as usual while her front legs and hooves indeed polish away
>Getting the idea that she may know it's better to act like nothing's going on, you follow along
"S... sure... yeah..."
>"Oh wow, Anon! Have you ever seen what happens when rocks get super duper hot and they get thrown hard enough? They explode!"
>What is she even going on about?
"How do you even...?"
>"It's easy! This rock looks like it's going to go off any second now! I bet it'll be like a volcano! Did you know that lava is really just melted rocks?"
>Before you can ask her what she's talking about, your vision doubles
>The rock she was polishing did indeed explode
>You stifled any noises as well as you could, the polishing leading to an even more bombastic eruption
>It eventually ends, with Pinkie's giggling ringing into the distance
>"Wow! I didn't think a pond rock would just explode like that!"
>She twists her neck, looking at you
>Her face is plastered in white strands
>"Good thing I can take another bath, right?"
>You're astonished
>She really must have some rock farm-born skills
"Holy... shit."
>Pinkie sticks her tongue out and winks at you
>"Guess this really is a lucky pond, huh?"
>She slithers off of you and back into the shallows, dunking her head under to clean herself off
>You have the sneaking suspicion it may take more than a dip like that to erase all traces of evidence
>Once she washes off most of the white, she slithers back between your legs, resting her chin on your waist
>"So... did you know that spas have really hot rocks too?"
>The grin she gives you is just too much
"You and the rock knowledge! Yes, I know..."
>"How can I help with the spa stuff?"
>You didn't forget but you're glad that she paid attention
"Well... can you find smooth rocks like that, maybe big enough for ponies to sit on? And coal? Enough to fill... well, I guess that barn. If we can fill that up with steam and really get something going that lasts, it'll be a success."
>The barn may not look the best for a spa, and might not have the normal atmosphere, but at least it'll be there
>She nods, watching your every movement
>"You can count on me!"
>Honestly you need very little else but you aren't sure you would really want to put all of the responsibility on one pony
"And... uh... Pinkie. Best friend of mine."
>"Yes? Yes?!"
>Pinkie beams at you, excited that you called her your best friend
"W-when it comes to Twilight... are you still... spying on me for her?"
>Her smiles only widens further
>"She thinks I am. Buuut... remember when my eyes went all purple and I could have her see through my eyes and I learned a lot about her directly through her? Maaaaaaaaaaybe I went and learned enough to want you for myself too?"
>You are not sure if you should be glad, worried, or worse
>"But you know... best friends can also become more too. And if Twilight hurts my best friend ever ever EVER again!"
>Her smile degrades into a sly smirk
>Those bright, shiny eyes hold something a little more malicious than before
>"I'll throw a very special surprise party for her."
"H-hey now, don't..."
>"What? It'll just be a party. And I LOVE giving parties... best friend."
>She giggles again
>Things aren't going to be getting any easier

>You didn't anticipate it, but you were tuckered out after playing around
>Given how colorful and goofy looking the ponies were, only one was really as cartoonish as you expected
>Even if she was partially blackmailing you
>And polished your rock
>While laying there, you could hear her humming something
>You didn't think you'd be attracted to any of these...
>Animals
>Because that is what they are, technically
>Little talking ponies
>At least Applejack was a good cook
>You're kinda hoping you'll be able to have some good stuff from her again
>Maybe later you can...
...
>You feel something weird
>Something licking your neck
>Again
>You try to grumble something but it persists
>Did that Winona dog find you again?
>The licking goes from your neck to the tip of your chin
>You grumble something and grab at the creature licking you
>You feel a mane
>Your eyes crack open, ready to catch the culprit who's been hounding you whenever you sleep
>It's... Applejack?
"Wha...?"
>The soft sun doesn't hurt your eyes but it takes time to adjust
>She has an absolutely shocked look on her face
>"O-oh, you're up... y'see, Winona, uh..."
>You grimace at her
>You feel a cool breeze go over you
>Whatever pink pony was on you is long gone now evidently
"...was that you before too?"
>"I..."
>She looks like an absolute deer in your headlights
>"...sorta?"
>You sigh
>This is far the least weird thing that you've woken up to
>But it kinda isn't that shocking
>Very little shocks you here anymore
"...well go on. Don't let me being up now stop you, I guess."
>You don't sound annoyed
>But you don't really sound happy either
>Applejack nods and sits down, going back to licking your neck
>Rather than it being a sexual thing, it seems more like grooming
>Maybe
>You don't know what is and isn't sexual with these things anymore
"Zecora here and all that?"
>Applejack nods, eyes glued to you while she licks the front and sides of your throat a few more times
>When she finishes, she gives an awkward smile
>"She sure is. Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash too! I guess Twilight is getting Rarity an' Spike. Everyone's gonna be here!"
"What about all of that spooky ... anti-magic shit?"
>Applejack chuckles
>"She thinks she's so clever... but she don't know that I got tricks too."
>That doesn't sound comforting
>Your eyes focused on her say so
>She waves her hoof and shakes her head
>"W-well it ain't nothin' bad! Not for you. But with everypony around in one spot, she won't ever try anything bad!"
>She has a point
>But with Pinkie Pie there too
"Was... Pinkie already here or something?"
>"Her? No, but I found her out and about. She said something like how she was in a super happy mood because she was planning something big."
>She lets out a goofy laugh
>"Could you believe that pony gets all worked up over rocks of all things? She wouldn't stop talking about the darn things!"
"Y... yeah... makes me wonder if she came out of some sort of goofy... rock ranch or something."
>"You're closer than you think, it's a rock farm! A farm for darned boulders and pebbles!"
>She pats her hoof on your chest while she laughs, ending with a 'whew'
"Ah... that's a really funny thing right there, I tell you what."
>She hops onto your torso, sitting on your stomach
>"I had a feeling you'd be here, y'know... I really gotta give you a real tour of everywhere soon. Can you imagine Granny Smith's expression when she's gonna find out she got herself a grandson-in-law?"
>Wait, what
"G-grandson-in-law?"
>"Well sure! I mean, what else would y'be?"
>You are almost sure now that you're one misstep away from being chased by a guy with a chainsaw
>Or a pony with a chainsaw
>Whatever happens, a chainsaw will be included
"Well... I guess Twilight would have a few words to say with that, huh..."
>She snorts and climbs off of you
>"As if she gets a say in anything we do! She can sit on her butt and throw magic all day, she ain't stoppin' us."
>She huffs and stomps down on a patch of muddy grass
>"Well... either way, why don't you get dressed? You're a right sight for sore eyes but it ain't too appropriate for the others, right?"
>She gives you a wink
>She eyes linger on her body until she looks down
>She frowns for a fraction of a second
>"Hey Anon... you been eating alright? Y'look like you've been... well, I want you nice and ready to go. We got a lot of work to do, remember?"
>You shrug and look down at yourself
>You weren't exactly... cleaned up from your polishing
>Fuck
"Yeah... I guess idle hands and being alone for once let me kinda..."
>Applejack sighs
>"Well dang, you could've waited for me at least... y'know, you really shouldn't be doing that sort of thing!"
>What is she, a puritan?
"I've been told that before... sorry. I guess you know how it is. Pent up and..."
>She shrugs
>"Well... you're a tall, handsome, young buck. I should really not neglect you like that..."
>She's not wrong but you kinda don't want to just be some sort of trophy either
>You really want to tell her that
>But time and place and all that
>You finally drag yourself out of the pond, shaking yourself off before getting dressed
>You still really like the jacket
>You could use a pair of boots or something but all the grass and dirt is pretty soft
>Applejack watches you get dressed, beaming with pride
>It is true, you wouldn't have even clothing without her
>"Ain't you just as pretty as a picture. Well let's go show them what we got!"
"You got it bossmare."
>That extra bit of ego stroking makes her strut with pride
>When you make it back, you can see that most of the pony gang is all here
>You haven't seen the blue pegasus since you first popped up but everyone else is at least somewhat familiar
>Zecora keeps her eyes on you as if she's studying you
>Rainbow Dash is smirking at your attire as if she has a joke in mind at your expense
>Pinkie smirks at you with another reason entirely and gives you a wink
>Fluttershy is just happy to be there, bobbing her head to a tune she has in her head
"So... hey there guys. So my plan is--"
>"Alright, Anon and I hatched up a plan to get our spa goin'! He--"
>"We need rocks!"
>Pinkie shouts over Applejack
>"Big, heavy, flat rocks! Like skipping stones but something a giant like Anon could use to skip across an ocean!"
>None of these are exactly what you had in mind
>Did you even really go into detail with Applejack?
>She woke up and just hauled ass
"Applejack, STOP. I didn't talk to you about what I had in mind. Pinkie, you chill your butt, they don't need to be that big."
>You knife hand at Applejack and point at Pinkie with two fingers without thinking it over
>You sorta forgot yourself and glance at them
>Everyone's surprised by your mild outburst
>But no one's really mad it seems
"...so... this spa business. We have a mostly empty barn that only I've slept in. So... we use that as the spa, right? We get some rocks to chill on and use to help maintain heat, we get some coals, splash a little water on them and bam. We get steam. It's like a hot shower except a few degrees bigger. That's kinda why I'm here to begin with, right?"
>No one answers for a moment
>Until Rainbow Dash speaks up
>"So...why are you dressed up like Applejack's little helper?"
>She bawls out a laugh, pointing at you
>Fluttershy raises her hoof before speaking
>"Hi, it's me again, Fluttershy. I was at the party Pinkie threw with the weird music. I, for one, really like your clothing. It suits you very well and looks very rough and tumble."
>Pinkie beams at you nodding
>"One hundred and five hundred percent understood! I'll find the rocks, no problem! But... coal aren't rocks."
>Applejack purses her lips, effectively shown up
>"Well...I guess that ain't the plan I had in mind... but it ain't a bad one..."
>You hold out your arms as if expecting someone to interject or otherwise interrupt you
>"If this is your plan and you have had time to assess, I'm sure you will lead us to a great success."
>Zecora seems happy, though
>Add one more to the work force, sure, why not
>You turn to Applejack, expecting some sort of retort
>"Well..."
>She blushes, flustered
>"Y-you heard the man! Let's git!"
>Everyone looks at each other
>Only Pinkie gives you a bit of a silly salute and starts hopping off
>"Oh right... guess no one knows where to find charcoal then do they..."
>"You know we don't need charcoal. We have dragon's fire!"
>Twilight gallops up to you from behind, Spike on her back
>The little purple dork looks like he was shaken awake
>"Twilight, you said we were going to get ice cream... and you said that Rarity would be here."
>"Never you mind that, she'll be here! She's grabbing some stuff that we can use to spruce up the barn!"
>Wait
>Did you even tell Twilight that you were using the barn?
>Who's telling who what with all of this?
"Right... I'm not even going to ask. Twilight, does... uh... dragon fire need something to burn on?"
>You switch glances between Twilight and Spike
>Spike shrugs
>"Iunno, I used it on a torch before and it kept burning for days"
"...was it hot?"
>"Well it was fire, dude. So I guess?"
>This is starting to annoy you
>You sigh and point to Twilight
"Twilight, darling, do you understand what's going on?"
>Twilight glares at Applejack with a smug smirk and clears her throat as if she were presenting a royal declaration
>"Of course, Anon. Pinkie is going to get rocks for us ponies to sit on, and smaller rocks for you to pour water on, creating steam. The rocks will be heated by baby dragon fire, which means that the more water we add on, the more steam we have! We will be having our spa in the barn you've been locked away in for days without break, and Rarity will be here soon with some tapestries and stretches of fabric so it won't look like a dirty, smelly ol' barn when we're in there!"
>She gives you her proudest smile
>Applejack looks highly suspicious
>"Wait a darn sec... when did Pinkie have time to tell you what was going on?"
>Twilight doesn't even answer that, scoffing
>"I mean it's all so obvious when you just look at it that way!"
>That's the last straw
"Twilight."
>"Yes?"
>"Unicorn with the one and only horn."
>"Yes Anonymous?"
>Her smile grows as wide as her pride
"If it was all so simple and obvious, WHY AM I HERE TO SOLVE THIS FOR YOU."
>No one has an actual answer for you
>Twilight's smile turns apologetic
>"Because... a steamin' demon could just stand in place and we'd get steam without rocks...?"
>You're surrounded by little technicolor idiots
>Fluttershy raise her hoof up again
>"I don't know anything about steam or fire, so... um, I appreciate your work on this. I've never been to a spa before and I've heard that it works wonders on wings!"
>You sigh
"... Spike."
>"Sup?"
"... can you set me on fire?"
>"Why?"
"Because I'm tired of this shit."

>You set the ponies to work once you're talked down from your self-immolation fantasy
>Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are clearing off the roof and checking the windows of the barn to make sure that steam won't escape through anywhere but the front doors
>Applejack is sweeping up the floor of the barn, to spruce it up as much as possible
>Spike is wandering around, finding small twigs to belch fire onto to teach you more about the age-old mystery that is fire
>You are sitting on the dirt in front of the barn
>Twilight is sitting next to you
>Not too close
>But definitely close
"Twilight."
>"Yes Anon...?"
"...why has all of this happened because you guys just couldn't figure out that water plus fire equals steam?"
>You're past the point of mad
>You just wish you were brought into all of this shit for something... important
>Like saving the land
>Or having a princess to help
>Or anything that some manga writer would run into the ground over the course of five hundred chapters and two full length movies
>Twilight's ears flatten against her head
>She nudges her head against you
>"It's not all that bad... right? You got to meet me... and the others, too. Of course. And... well, we had fun."
>Her voice drops an octave, to a very apparently unhappy tone
>"You had fun with Applejack..."
>You can't help but shiver at the way she sounds
"....you were told?"
>Did Pinkie rat you out?!
>"Oh yes... Applejack told me when we were watching over you. I didn't think she would just... mount you like an animal like that. I certainly know how much of a temptation it is, of course..."
>Her dark, knowing chuckle says that she probably has wanted the same thing
>Given what you and she did, it must have been close enough to count
>"Did it feel good, Anon?"
>You grimace
"I'm not telling you that."
>"Did it compare to me? I think we were more intimate... she doesn't know your taste like I do."
"I said I'm not talking about it with you."
>She giggles
>"It's ok to not say anything... I know you better than she does. I know that only I can really take care of you."
>She isn't going to shut up about this, is she
"...Pinkie Pie told me that she's your spy."
>Twilight doesn't reply for a moment
>"...yeah, and is that bad to keep an eye on you when I'm not around?"
>You shrug
"Well sure... but you can trust her, can't you?"
>"Well of course I can!"
>She sounds confident
"Sure... but what if Applejack has someone watching me too? And watching you?"
>Twilight's mood sours
>"And what pony would ever help Applejack when I'm obviously the right choice?"
>You shrug
>You were fucked with by her ever since you popped up
>You kinda wanna fuck with her too
>And test her with something
"Well... what if some pony just wanted what was best for me?"
>Twilight laughs a single haughty 'ha'
>"And who knows what's best for you? Who else loves you like I do?"
"Twilight... I know you wrote those books for me. And then after, to give them a special touch..."
>You smile, watching her shock out of the corner of your eye
"Oh yeah! I stuck my nose deep into those books... and funny enough, they smell just... like... you. In the most delicious way."
>Her face scrunches
>For once, she seems the one who's caught flat-footed
>"I... I didn't... to a book, even? No... no, that's just..."
>She gives a ragged exhale
>"That's just... improper!"
"And yet I know for a fact you did it."
>Twilight fidgets in her place
>"...what else do you know...?"
"What, you want me to tell you?"
>"Yes, I do."
"Why? What would you do about it?"
>"Fix it."
>You chuckle
"Why don't you read my mind like you did for the books?"
>Her voice turns violently annoyed
>"If you didn't have that stupid zebra brew and goo I would and we would be off in some isolated place bucking like mad."
"And yet I am an unreadable enigma to you..."
>She lets out a frustrated growl
>It sounds more cute than threatening
>But you also know that her magic is some serious shit
>"I'll find out, the second my magic works again. And I'll have Pinkie watch you twice as much. And I'll find out exactly what I need to make sure you're mine."
"Unless I find a way to counter it and outsmart you."
>She gives a hard huff
>"Anonymous... you're a beautiful, magnificent creature."
>She giggles
>"But you aren't going to outsmart me."
"I could."
>"But you won't."
"I might."
>"I won't let you."
"Why?"
>"Because I was made for you. And you were made for me. Why else would I draw you out here from an infinite number of worlds and possibilities?"
"You just wanted a monster to fulfill your petty wants."
>She doesn't have a quick answer to that
>Her voice falters
>"That... I didn't know better..."
"Now you do?"
>"Yes."
"Convenient..."
>"Anon..."
"Yeah?"
>"You can wear clothes Applejack paid for. And you can sleep on that rickety pile of toothpicks she made for you. And you can eat the food she makes. But remember that I brought you to this world. We're tied by more than magic. What I did wasn't just some mistake."
"And if it was?"
>"Then... I brought you here and did something terrible on top of it. And I'll defy fate to make you mine."
>You scoff
"You're all for fate until it no longer suits you?
>She shrugs
>"I'm still trying to learn that occult stuff. And it says that fate is a big thing."
"You know what? Fair enough."
>Her face droops to a sad smile
>"I can't be the villain here..."
>Damn it
"Don't worry... you aren't. You had the best intentions, I'm sure."
>You don't notice but her eyes dart to you to read your expression
>"No... I mean it... I might be really bad for having done this... it was a simple fix like you said... I ruined your entire life just for something so silly..."
>Well now you feel bad
"Come off it... it's alright. Really."
>"I don't know... Anon... can I have a hug...? I'm not a bad pony, I promise..."
>Oh for the love of
"...alright. But just a hug."
>She nuzzles into you and you wrap your arm around her
>You can stay stern up until a girl is sad
>Or a female pony
>Boy do you know she is a female
>While she actively nuzzles into your chest, you look ahead, bored and just waiting for everyone to finish up with their chores
>"Hey Anon, floor's all swept up! We can have everything going on and no one will know it's on the..."
>Applejack pokes her head out from between the barn doors
>To see you giving a dead bored stare ahead
>And a Twilight Sparkle gleefully rubbing against your side
>With your arm on her
>"...dirt..."

>Applejack trots up to you, squinting at the scene before her
>You really couldn't care less
>She went from sad to happy far too fucking quickly
>"Anon... what's she doing?"
>You look down at her, retaining a face of bitter acceptance
"She's playing victim and satisfying herself using me because she has no other outlet for physical intimacy beyond Spike and I think he has a habit of hauling ass whenever she gets that nutty look in her eye."
>"Oh Anon... I'm such a poor... naughty pony..."
>She's trying to keep up the charade despite having lost any validity of sympathy
>Applejack shares your expression
>"Now Twilight, that's just sad."
>Twilight giggles as she cuddles you
>She glares at her competition, grinning
>"I don't see anyone else cuddling up to him, do I...? Who's really the sadder sight?"
>Applejack's eyes widen
>God damn it
>The earth pony looks at you
>"H... hey Anon..."
>Oh dear Christ not you too
>"I'm... uh... I'm sorry too?"
>Your grimace widens at her
>"I mean... you know... for the tree stuff."
>Your face or heart doesn't budge for a moment
>"And... I, uh... I feel bad for it."
>She tries to smile at you
>But then remembers that she's trying to score sympathy points and puts on her best sad face
>Twilight stops in mid-cuddle and looks at her with a wry face
>"Come on Applejack, even I didn't..."
>She stops herself and looks up at you
>"I mean..."
"Fuck it. I can't have a conversation with you two and we're waiting for everyone else to get done."
>You shake your head and lift up your free arm
>"A-alright!"
>She dashes under your arm and watches your arm fall onto her
>"Heh heh heh..."
>She chuckles and glares at Twilight
>That just killed it for the unicorn
>"Anon... you know, she hasn't really done anything bad. I've done far worse."
"Yes. Yes you have."
>Applejack's jaw gapes open
>"T-that ain't true! I completely left you alone for long stretches of time! I didn't even let you hang out and we didn't even do anything but try to work!"
"I really don't care right now."
>Twilight puts on her best sad face
>She's far more experienced at demanding pity points, you can tell
>"I ruined Anon's poor, fragile mind... look at him! I've drained all life from his face!"
>She points to your stoneface
>Did you really fall for this before?
>Applejack goes from Twilight's hoof to your face
>"Y-yeah, well... I..."
>She sighs
>"Nevermind, I ain't gonna do this... I just don't want you to be the only one getting his attention. I'm sorry for trying to get sympathy points, Anon."
>At least she can be the bigger pony
>This does not please Twilight
>But she knows better than to keep pushing it
>You gotta wonder if she's really like this or if it's just because she can't use magic to impress or subdue you
>Fluttershy pokes out from behind the barn's window, gliding around to the front
>"Ok. I cleared out all of the spider webs, and made sure that we weren't bothering any spiders. Rainbow Dash is checking for holes in the roof just like Anon said and I--"
>She stops
>And looks at a grimacing you with a happy Twilight under one arm and an embarrassed Applejack under the other
>"O-oh my..."
>She lands, watching the scene
>"M... may I join, Anon?"
>Your lips twitch and purse up
"Sure... why not..."
>Applejack and Twilight watch in amazement as Fluttershy looks over the scenario and sees that your lap is empty
>"Alright... excuse me."
>She trots onto your lap and circles around like a cat before sitting down
>The ponies under your arms stare in astonishment
>It was indeed that easy
>She didn't even need to guilt you
>Rainbow Dash is the next one to fly out
>"Hey Anon, the roof is fine! Why did you even have me check that?"
>She doesn't even notice you until she lands, looking at the barn
>"I think I helped raise that... last Spring? Hey Applejack, where are y-"
>She turns to look at you
>And sees a now-flustered Twilight
>And an even more embarrassed Applejack
>And a pleased, relaxed Fluttershy
>"Woah..."
"Rainbow Dash."
>She jumps at your voice
>"W-what?"
"Wanna join? Evidently I'm the cat's meow."
>You hope she doesn't want to
>She looks over everything and shrugs
>"Sure, I guess."
>She flutters up and sits on your shoulders, with your head between her legs
>"Hey... nice view."
>Who's missing at this point, Rarity and Pinkie Pie?
>Twilight tries to clear her throat
>"I... uh... isn't it a little crowded around here?"
>Applejack glares at her
>"Maybe you should leave then? Shouldn't you be helping Pinkie with those rocks?"
>"Oh, I think I have enough adequate space, Twilight. Thank you though."
>"Eh, it's alright."
>Everyone except Twilight seems fine with the current situation
>And you
>You steady your breathing, finding your zen in the situation
"Twilight."
>She perks up
>"Yes, Anon?"
"I'm blaming you for this."
>The hurt expression on her face is priceless
>She can't do shit to you
>Not while you're clad in pony armor

>You know, you're starting to warm up to these ponies
>Despite the last few days, having four ponies around you is pretty comforting
>Two of them are just happy to be around you
>One keeps giving you this dejected look
>The other one seems happy but she's keeping a close eye on where your hands are
>Which you've kept on your knees, aiding your zen pose
>You are, indeed, the Poneman
>Rainbow Dash has gotten comfy to the point that she's been resting your head on top of yours
>Fluttershy in your lap has actually dozed off too
>Outside of the chaos, you really feel like you can clear your head of all of this
>You don't really remember the last time you ate though
>You want to ask Applejack about fixing up a lunch but you kinda want to have something a little... different
>You trust her
>Obviously
>But given the weird stomach feelings you've been getting from her food, Zecora's concoctions, and how you haven't been in your right mind since you first came here?
>You kinda could go for just a normal burger
>And a soda
>Christ alive you'd whip every single pony in arm's reach around by their tails and scream 'so long gay bowser' for a soda
>You, surprisingly, aren't disturbed by... what's happened when it comes to intimacy
>Passive, willing or otherwise
>Not that you would normally go for that sort of stuff
>Maybe you could just chalk that sort of thing up to everything else that had just piled on
>This
>This current situation feels right
>You breath deep and close your eyes
>Now you're just playing the waiting game
>Pinkie's grabbing a variety of big rocks
>You have dragon fire that'll evidently do the trick
>Rarity is... somewhere doing something
>Who the fuck knows about Zecora, she's off doing anti-magic shit
>Wait, will that somehow interrupt dragon fire?
>Screw it, she's probably already doing all of her stuff anyway
>You are still kinda looking forward to going back home
>But you enjoy the attention you've been getting too
>It's kinda cool being tall and strong in a world full of short, weak ponies
>The mutual attraction going on has helped too
>You never claimed to be a particularly normal man
>"Hey Anon. What's with the cuddle pile?"
>It's Pinkie
>You feel her hug you from behind, standing on her back two hooves
>You're properly surrounded in pony armor now
>Only the most sinful of gods would dare strike y
>What the fuck is that thing poking into your back
>"Hey Anon... is that a rock in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?"
>You burst out from your position, ponies flying in every direction
"THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE GOD DAMN IT, WHERE DO YOU G..."
>Your rage immediately dies down after you whip about face
>To see a cackling Pinkie Pie with a long, narrow stone poking up from between her hind legs
>Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, so rudely awakened, glare at her with varying levels of bother
>Twilight looks mortified
>Applejack seems mildly amused
>"Ok sugarplum... now that was funny."
>Your heart rate stabilizing, you look over the area around here
>There is only the one rock
"Pinkie Pie, was that all you found?"
>She giggles and points her hoof to the side
>"No siree I got a dozen like this and better on a wagon! Maud told me that they're very sensitive so we shouldn't say anything mean to them, but other than that they're as sturdy as it gets!"
>As if to test her, you give the rock a wry look
"Fuck you, rock."
>The rock cracks
>Everyone, you included, flinch at the sound of part of it chipping off
>Oh shit
>Pinkie gives an impossibly deep gasp
>"Anon how could you say that?! Maud explicitly said to NOT say something like that!"
"I thought you were joking!"
>"NOTHING'S A JOKE WITH MAUD, ANON!"
"WHO THE HELL IS MAUD AND WHY DID SHE SEND YOU OFF WITH TEMPERAMENTAL LUMPS OF STONE?!"
>Another shard of the rock chips off with an audible crack
>You widen your stance and crouch down, as if you're getting shot at
"JESUS, GET IT INTO THE BARN ALREADY!"
>Pinkie somehow manages to lift up the flat, wide stone that's as big as her and hauls mane into the barn
>Fluttershy floats down and picks up the broken off chips
>"Maybe some kind encouragement would help... rocks can be really strong if you're strong with them."
>She sound so sure of herself
>Rainbow Dash already went off somewhere, leaving you alone with the two ponies that have been chasing after you for days now
>Twilight looks... surprised, to say the least
>"Pinkie really wasn't kidding, huh."
>Applejack scrunches her face and shrugs
>"I wouldn't think too hard on it, Anon. Pinkie's family is a little unusual when it comes to them and their rocks."
>She chuckles and nudges her head against your leg
>"Can you imagine an entire family having just one sorta passion?"
>Your brow furrows as you look down at her
>Then up at the orchard
>And back down to her
>It takes her a few moments before she realizes your point
>She clears her throat, stamping her hoof down as if to clear up a cramp
>"W-we ain't obsessed with apples you know... we just know which ones are best for what and... stuff like that..."
>"Pot, meet kettle."
>"Oh you can it, Twilight! You ain't any better with them books!"
>"Please, that's a totally different thing! Maps, tomes, novels, novellas, pamphlets, textbooks, guides, manuals, all of those are completely different!"
>"You're completely different you dumb smart idget!"
>You step away from the dueling duo
>You aren't going to interject on that, they're both cute and they're both stupid right now
>You oversee the installation of the rocks into the barn, carrying what you can
>Digging out a small pit in the center of the barn, you put the most circular rock over most of the pit
>Dragon fire still probably needs oxygen, doesn't it?
>You follow by setting up seven rocks around the pit, spread out evenly to sit on or lay against
>It'll be a clean place to sit at least
>Due to how wide the barn is, you also set some up at random, close to the corners and a pair near the barn doors
>With everything sealed except the doors, it'll be pretty steamy so anyone wanting to have a less intense sweat could sit there
>Maybe you could ask Rarity to set up a small tent-like thing too, for a smaller section that would be easy to get out of and easier to see in
>For sake of illumination, you help make a few more smaller pits
>The dragon fire stuff keeps poking at the back of your mind but you're sure you can make it work whether or not you need wood or it needs magical burritos or some shit to work
>Though Pinkie seems fine with the labor, everyone else pairs up just to shuffle around the stones once they're all placed
>Satisfied with your work, you lead all of the ponies back out
>Twilight and Applejack are still arguing
>"At least I know how to spell thesaurus!"
>"You're gonna have a sauras when I'm done with you, you... the! Then you'll be known as Thesaurus Sparkle!"
>"And you'll still be known as--"
"GIRLS!"
>You bark out in your most stern, authoritative voice
>Both of them jump a foot before turning to address you
"Pinkie, Dash, Fluttershy and I got the stones unloaded the stones while you two bickered."
>You glance at Twilight
>She gives you her best apologetic smile
>But she's trembling too
"Can you find Spike and send him over?"
>She nods and hurries off
>Your attention falls on Applejack
>You can tell she's not used to being bossed around, especially on her own land
>But she appears keenly focused on you
"Applejack."
>"I-I do."
>Those are the first words that come out of her mouth
"What?"
>"Wut?"
>You give her a queer look and sigh
"Wanna check out the inside of the barn with me? I wanna go over some design choices to give everyone a lot of variability in where they can sit. I also wanna bring up how if Rarity can set up a little tent or something we can have something a little more light."
>Applejack gives a solid salute
>"You're the boss, Anonymous!"
>Huh
>Welcome change from her always reminding you that you owe her
>She follows you from your right and a full step behind, watching how every other pony is doing something
>Zecora, Rarity and Spike are still MIA but you have bigger priorities
>The barn's pretty dim when you walk into it, since only the front door is open
>The grey stones stand out pretty well from the dirt floor
>The pits you more or less clawed out by hand are maybe a few inches deep but it's a good indicator
"So... main sitting area. More private areas in the corners. Lights here, here, there too... and..."
>You pivot on a heel to point at the barn doors, with a stone on each side
>"Set up a tent or something there where it's more grassy and... I don't know. What do you think?"
>Applejack just looks at you, awestruck
"...what?"
>"Well, I uh... I guess I didn't think you were the type to actually..."
"Do stuff?"
>"Take control."
>She gives you a bashful smile
>"You certainly ain't like the Anon I saw that needed a hug and a blanket..."
>You awkwardly try to twitch your mouth into a smile and shrug with your arms raised
"Yeah well... that type of stuff kinda hurt. You know?"
>"No no, I ain't meanin' it in a bad way! I just... it's nice to see you take things as they are and make it into something."
>She awkwardly laughs, rubbing the back of her mane with her hoof
>"I mean, it certainly lets me know that you'll be a stern father, right?"
>You begin to say something to her
>But you do see it as a strong compliment
"Yeah... hopefully not overly so. Thanks."
>You smile at each other
>She really is the sort you would want to start a family with
>Everyone has their weird little quirks anyway, right?
>"Say Anon, after all of this... can we really have a-"
>"Hey, Rarity's here!"
>Rainbow Dash peeks her head into the barn, visibly excited
>"Let's get a move on and get this party started! I wanna bake like a potato!"
>"Have a freaking clue Rainbow Dash, Anon and I are trying to-"
>"Yeah don't care, hurry up!"
>The blue bully ducks her head back out again
>Applejack lets out just the most adorable angry 'uuuuuuuugh'
>"Unbelievable!"
>She looks up at you, her lips curling like she wants to try speaking up again
>You nod and nudge your head in the direction of the exit
"Let's get down to business. We ain't going anywhere until this is done, right?"
>Your confidence renews her confidence
>"That's right!"
"Then let's go and get the next step done!"
>You're starting to get proper excited too
>You've never honestly been in anything like this outside of a particularly long, hot shower
>Being in a dark, steamy area with only faint traces of light also sounds like some cool Dark Souls shit
>You don't think that there could be any risks or traps that would come from such darkness
>It's not like you'd be alone

>With the barn coming together, you're looking forward to seeing how things finish up
>Rarity's already in the process of unloading her wagon
>She has entire bolts of fabric
>Who's going to pay for that?
>If Applejack dug anything into your mind, it's that everything costs something
>Best to not think of it
>You watch as the two pegasi grab bolts of their own, immediately flying off
>Everyone already seems like they know what they're doing, except you
"So... what's with all of the stuff? I thought we were just going to make a tent or something connected to the front?"
>Rarity smiles at you, winking
>"Oh darling, you can't expect me to do so little for something so grand! We have the entire barn to cover! And then there's the walkway, fabric to cover the rocks and add a little cushioning, and..."
>You distance yourself from her, hands up
"Alright, alright, I get it... gotta have a woman's touch."
>Applejack keeps a step beside you
>Rarity and the two birdbrained ponies are prettying up the barn
>That just leaves...
>You freeze
>Pinkie Pie talking to Twilight
>You can't presume that they're always talking about clandestine topics
>But something tells you that they are
"Hey, so what else we need? Spike out there grabbing wood or something?"
>They look at you unison
>The way they're smiling makes you flinch
>Applejack huffs and steps in front of you
>"He asked if y'all've seen Spike or not!"
>Pinkie giggles and bounces away, leaving Twilight
>She looks quite content
>"Why the temper? We're almost ready to soak! Spike IS gathering spare firewood, thank you for asking. Pinkie Pie is in charge of the snacks that we'll have in the tent but away from the steam so it won't be soggy."
>Applejack audibly huffs
>"That ain't bad but... shouldn't I be taking care of that? My barn, my land."
>Twilight gives her a dull look
>"And yet you aren't doing it. We're going to be ready before long and you're glued to Anon like a lost filly!"
>The catty pony remark leaves the apple overlord stunned
>"That's..."
>She glances at you and runs off
>"Just you wait, no one ain't outdoin' me on this!"
>You can only sigh at her speed
>Especially because she's leaving you alone with Twilight
>"Finally, I thought she'd never leave. How are you doing, Anon?"
>You almost flinch at her words
>But you're still immune to magic so it's not like you have a lot to worry about
"Fine... fine."
>With you standing, it's ever more apparent to you that she's really not capable of doing anything to you
>She trots toward you, nodding
>"Good! Very good. You know, with all of this stuff going on, you've really brought a lot of us together. We haven't done anything as a group for a while now either."
>You shrug, nodding
"Well... sure. You're welcome."
>"Wanna make a foal under the cover of darkness while everyone's enjoying themselves?"
>Your eyes nearly pop out of your head
"I..."
>You clear your throat
>You still remember the little moments you had before
>You did not remember, however, that words don't need to be said face to face to have an effect
"No? No, I'm... I'm alright. Thank you though."
>Twilight stops just in front of you
>Rather than looking up at you, she's looking up your tunic
>"I mean, hard work should be rewarded with hard rewards, right?"
>You step back, giving her your best stern look
>It doesn't do much when you've already succumbed to her more than once
>Willing or otherwise
"There's a time and place for that, you know."
>"Like when Applejack's sleeping right beside you?"
>She giggles something sinister, taking another step forward to look up your tunic
>"I bet I can guess what you'd like to do to work up a sweat... I can't use magic on you but I can make us near impossible to find. Wouldn't that be fun?"
>It kinda would be
>But she doesn't know that you think that
>Hopefully
"No, I'm good. And you won't be convincing me otherwise. I'll be hanging out with Applejack and everyone else, there won't be any chance to... do that. And we have two ponies supplying us with snacks so, you know, food is there too."
>You think you're being pretty sensible and solid on your stance
>You certainly feel more in your head than you have in the last few days
>You think
>Ever since you've been here, you've questioned your capacity, sanity, willpower and wants at every step
>This purple little... minx hasn't helped
>She nuzzles your leg with her head
>"Pony wants cream, Anon... pony needs it..."
>The way she says it
>What she says
>You shiver hard before taking a few steps back
"Alright, we're done here. I'm gonna go away now before you... I don't even want to know."
>Thankfully your brisk walking pace is faster than her light trotting
>"But Anon! You could even have my milk!"
>She sounds desperate
>Worse, you almost feel sorry for her
>But you know better
>If she's genuine, that's one thing
>But if she's only going this route because she can't puppeteer you
>That's another
>You can't let yourself forget what she's already done to you
>You gotta watch yourself once the steam starts piling on
>Speaking of, you see Spike hauling back a log that's twice as big as he is
>Or more appropriately, he's trying to drag it back
>You scoop it up with both arms, watching him fly off the ground as well
"Lend you a hand?"
>Spike scampers up onto the log until he's sitting on it
>"Heck yeah! This is so much easier..."
>Nothing will happen if you have a witness around you
>Was he around when Twilight zapped you to her place at the very beginning?
"Hey Spike."
>"Sup?"
"Did you see me over at Twilight's, when I was still new to here?"
>He shrugs, idly scratching at the log
>"Nah, not really. She didn't want me there and sent me to find some dumb eggs. I spent an entire day doing fetch quest after fetch quest, all for three eggs. And here's the thing, they weren't even real! They were all, like, glass bottles of stuff. Probably perfume or something, am I right?"
"Sure... could be, you know how chicks are."
>"Ha, I sure do!"
>He sounds like he's making an effort to seem cool
>You kinda feel for him, if he's surrounded by girls all the time
"So, Spike... what's the skinny on Twilight?"
>He looks at you funny
>"The what?"
"Well she seems to like me. And... I don't know. I don't think we ever got a chance to talk and it seems like you would know her the best."
>"Really?"
"Well yeah. If I gotta ask anyone about one of the chicks here it's gotta be through the only guy, right?"
>The masculine compliment makes the dragon's chest puff out
>He lets out a deep 'hur hur' and nods
>"Yeah... yeah, that's right! So, it's Twilight you wanna know about, huh... well, you're kinda weird for liking her. She's... a weird pony. I mean, she's always looked after me so I guess she's like... my older sister or my mom."
>It takes him a second a realize what he just said
>"Wait wait wait... are you interested in Twilight in that way? Are we gonna be brothers or something?!"
>You choose to not answer
"How much wood you got for us to haul, anyway?"
>"Well Applejack has like a dozen of these that are in some sort of wood shed. Probably for winter. So we use a few of those and we should be good to go, you know? You got me thinking about the dragon fire question, and I think I might be able to..."
>He really may as well be Twilight's little brother
>He talks as much as she does
>Three logs later and he's still talking, though he's taken to just chilling on your shoulder
>"...Rarity chased me out. But man was it a sight! I never thought I'd see her doing that!"
>Who is this girl-starved mad lad?
"Yeah... don't tell Twilight but that's something every chick does. Whether they're like me, or like the ponies here."
>Spike guffaws and wrings his claws together
>"Oh man... you're serious too, aren't you!"
>After another three logs, you're casually shooting the shit together
>Pretty much discussing anything and everything a guy like him can't discuss with a mare
>It's also doing wonders for buttering him up on details about Twilight
>"And then there's that little diary she writes in. She's been writing in like, a hundred of those. When I asked her what they were for, she told me to go chase birds or something. I mean I did, I even caught one too but... I had to let him go. Otherwise I think Fluttershy would've been mad at me. You know, she's cute too. Kinda creepy because she looked at me really funny when we first met her. 'We' being Twilight and me. What makes you interested in Twilight, anyway? She has no sense of fashion, she really didn't make friends all that easy for the longest time. Did I mention she lives in a tree?"
>Another three logs in and the barn is completely covered in a bright, breezy blue
>Spike swoons at Rarity calling out orders
>"Ain't she a beaut? I mean come on, she's the epitome of what it means to be a woman!"
"I suppose... what makes her so great, anyhow?"
>"Just look at her, dude!"
>She does look alright
"Honestly? I think Applejack's way better. Rarity's more... dainty?"
>The dragon scoffs at you
>"Yeah right... man, what a lame option... almost as lame as liking Twilight."
"Fair point. But I like a lot of lame things."
>Spike mumbles out something
>"Well, you know... I guess it's not 'lame' lame. But you got some funny tastes."
>By the time you haul over the last of the logs, you have a full on tent set up in front of the barn
>The barn itself looks like it's just a big blue mass, without a single sliver of brown or red visible
>Rarity chuckles to herself, proud of her work
>Both Applejack and Pinkie Pie have a few tables stocked with snacks
>You're surprised they made them that quickly
>It wasn't honestly that much time, was it?
>You did walk at a rather leisurely pace
>Spike hops off from your shoulder, flocking to Rarity's flank
>"Amazing work! I've never seen a better barn!"
>"Ugh, Spike... must you use that specific word for our new sauna?"
>She really is a charmer
>You head to Applejack's table
>Outside of a few plates of apple-related items, there's one that has your name on it
>Literally, there's a fritter or cookie with a letter on them and they all spell "A N O N S S N A C K S"
>Glancing over your shoulder, you quickly swipe a few of them and rearrange the others to "A N A S S"
"Heh heh..."
>With your poached bounty of brunch, you devour what you can while watching everyone celebrate the progress they've made so far
>You know, you haven't seen Zecora in a while
>Some of these cookies taste kinda weird too
>You don't 100% taste apple
>They are good though
>And you are hungry
>On your last cookie, you hear a loud 'ahhem'
>"Well now, ain't you a mite peckish? I didn't think you'd eat so many at once!"
>You quickly stuff your face before turning around
>You gulp hard before smiling at the country home pone
"Can you blame me since it's you making it?"
>You lean down to her
"Hey, where'd Zecora go? Are we good on the magic stuff?"
>As if she thought of everything, she nods
>"Of course we are. She even helped with the cookies too!"
>Your smile drops
"...what did you feed me?"
>Applejack sheepishly chuckles
>"Eh heh... well... you know... stuff that'll help?"
"Help who, exactly?"
>"Well... you."
>She scrunches her face
>"And me."
>She brings her hooves together
>"Usss.....?"
"Applejack... you know we gotta be careful with this spa thing, right?"
>"Don't worry! Nopony ain't gonna see nothin'! And you know how it is, Rarity already knows we're a couple and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy... well, they ain't ones to care."
>She reaches for her ponytail, stroking it
>"And... well, we gotta celebrate, right? I mean, I definitely gotta give you a reward. The way you stood up to everyone and took control is..."
>She's certainly giggly today
>"Well it ain't a bad thing, you know?"
>You glare at her
>She does her best to look cute with a smile
"...well we'll see. But you stick close to me. Like glue, alright?"
>She nods faster than you can see
>"You got it, buckaroo! I ain't gonna leave you alone for a second in there!"
"Work on your wording... but good girl."
>You really should've asked before eating
>But as long as it makes you immune to Twilight's magic, you can afford to feel normal
>You get the feeling that now that she's had a proper taste of you, she might feel compelled to do more
>You can't help but feel proud too, for the barn turning out as well as it has
>"Alright, everypony! Let's get Spike in there and let's bake!"
>Rainbow Dash is certainly eager
"Speaking of which, did anyone get those buckets of water?"
>Can't really have steam without the stuff
>Twilight struts up, six of them levitating over her
>"Right here? Shall we, Spike?"
>Spike, torn away from his sneaky peeking of the prissy unicorn, sighs
>"Alright... dang it..."
>Grabbing hold of the last log, you lead the party of four into the barn
>It's pretty dark already
"Hey Spike, wanna light this one real quick?"
>"Sure you won't catch fire too?"
"Don't get my hopes up, bud."
>One half blow-half belch and a burst of green later and the log you're holding is covered in bright green fire
>It's definitely hot but something about it feels off from what normal fire feels like
>You crouch down and set the log against the others at the center
>All at once they go up into a bright green bonfire
"Alright, now we're cooking! Go and light the other ones, yeah?"
>You reach out behind you and a bucket handle floats to your hand
>"Happy to be so helpful, Anon! Unlike some ponies..."
>Applejack keeps her mouth shut, if only because she's quite confident in her own little cooking tricks
>You wait for the rocks over the logs to heat up, watching Spike run from corner to corner to light up the other logs in the pits
>The place is actually pretty well lit now
>Hopefully the barn won't burn down
>"Uh... what're you waiting for, Anon?"
"Heat."
>As if to point it out, you start to pour the water onto the flat rocks
>All three of the creatures jump at the loud hissing
>But sure enough, most of it turns to steam in an instant
>Though it takes multiple buckets, steam starts to fill the barn up until the corner flames have been obscured to the point of looking only like ethereal green masses
>Even though the trio is close to you, their features are more than obscured
>You can tell who's who, but you can't really see their expressions
>Applejack's stuck still in place
>"Is... this... uh... are we in trouble?"
"What? No. We have another two buckets to pour onto the rocks to keep things going so we're really not in danger of running out anytime soon."
>Twilight scoffs, walking off into the hot fog
>"I mean, obviously, right? I've made steam through my tea kettle before..."
"And yet YOU COULDN'T DO THIS!"
>"Hey, it's done! Get in already, it's time to roast!"
>Rainbow Dash springs in, her wings spread
>The entire rest of the group follows
>"I may need to redo my hair after this..."
>"Oh wow. The green lights look so pretty! It is warmer than I imagined though..."
>Applejack hops onto one of the sitting rocks
>Outside of them being covered in fabric, they really are sizable enough for even you to sit on
>She stomps down on the the stone, making more than a ruckus
>"Head toward the big lug and the big fire!"
"Hey, who are you calling a lug?"
>"Applejack says that you are a lug... but for making all of this, I say you deserve a hug!"
>Though you can't see her, you can definitely hear Zecora
"Hey, where were you? Where are you?"
>As distinct as her voice is, everyone is chatting and wandering around
>You can hear Pinkie laughing and popping in and out of the steam, surprising everyone at least once
>You sit down on the ground next to the rock Applejack's on
"This ain't too shabby.... brighter than I thought."
>Applejack scoots closer to her until she's leaning her head against your arm
>"Sure is romantic though, ain't it..."
>"Oh come on, leave it until you two are alone!"
>Out of freaking nowhere, Rainbow Dash just has to come in with the interruption
>"Rainbow Dash, let the young couple be! Did you see what I made him? If I were her I wouldn't-"
>"THEY AREN'T A COUPLE, UGH!"
>You shake your head at Rarity and Twilight's interjections
"Best we stay casual for now, huh?"
>Applejack sighs and nods
>"Dang it... alright..."
"Besides, shouldn't you focus on getting soaked in hot air?"
>You can hear her inhale to say something
"I know what you're gonna say, don't."
>She scoffs
>"Spoilsport..."
>You enjoy the shenanigans of the entire party goofing around and playing in the mist
>It's only getting thicker too
>You strip off your coat, feeling the heat
"This really is nice..."
>You lay it behind the orange mare
"So are you really fine with us using the barn like this? What if something happens to the structural... integrity... or... something?"
>She nods
>"Iunno. I guess not? I mean, it ain't none more than hot water, right? The wood for this ain't really cheap, if that's what you're meaning."
"Oh no, nothing like that. I just don't wanna wreck anything."
>The pony nuzzles your arm
>"Ah... we should really start to make things more official, don't you think?"
>Not thinking too hard on it, you nod
"Well I guess so. I mean I'm kinda... what, your employee, your partner, and aside from that..."
>"You ain't my employee Anon. I... kinda said that so I know you'd stay. But I ain't gonna hold that over you. But partner sounds good."
>She pauses
>"Just... please no more tree kicking, alright?"
>The two of you watch the fire until it's become so obscured that you can't hardly see anything beyond a flickering green shape in front of you
>Maybe Spike's fire is doing a killer job on the steam already in the air or something
>You are absolutely drenched, though
>Enough that you said 'screw it' and stripped yourself of your tunic
>Of course Applejack knew but she frustrated herself by staring at you and not being able to see anything
>You even teased her about it a little which didn't help
>Eventually, everyone, Zecora included, find their way to the center
>Rarity and Fluttershy are absolutely wasted from the heat, spread out and sighing or yawning from the atmosphere
>Rainbow Dash keeps playing with one of the spare buckets of water, cackling whenever the fire hisses from a new splash
>You don't know about the rest
>Applejack is in full shutdown mode
>You nudge your elbow against her
"Hey. I'm gonna get up real quick and grab another one of those snacks. You want anything?"
>"Anon, if I ain't gonna make it... let them know that I died like roast in the oven."
>You're not sure of ponies sweat but she looks pretty content
"Sure... just make sure no one eats you."
>You pat her shoulder and stand up
>Either the fires have died down or the steam has gotten insane but you only vaguely know where the exit is
>Watching your step, you set out from the familiar safety of the stone circle
>Five steps in, you don't know where the hell you are
>Another twenty steps in a straight line and you still aren't really sure of where you are
>You don't want to jinx yourself
>But you might get the idea that you're... not going to have a good time
>"Oh Anon... are we lost...?"
>Oh shit

>You physically prepare yourself, as naked as you are
>As thick as the steam has become, you can still at least see the green flames in the distance
>Sorta
>Twilight trots up to you, smiling
>You sigh
>You were worried you'd see some sort of nightmare creature or some shit
"Yeah, you know where the exit is? I've been kinda... walking in circles. I think."
>She smiles at you, biting her lower lip
>"You haven't been. I've just been using magic."
>Your face pops from confused, to concerned, to even more confused
"Hold on now. I'm immune from Zecora's crap. This entire place should be immune to your shenanigans."
>Twilight giggles
>"I know! But she didn't get the water, now did she?!"
>Fuck
>Twilight laughs as if she won a particularly riveting game
>"Oh Anon... Anon Anon Anon. You really are smart. It's like been playing a game of Chess!"
"Yeah well wait until it's time to king m..."
>Something doesn't sit right with you
"Wait, you guys got Chess?"
>Twilight tilts her head to the side
>"Yes? Why?"
"Is it called... horse... Chess... or something?"
>You lean back and squint as you ask
>Twilight isn't amused
>"Yes, Anon. It's called Pony Chess and everything is pony. The knights are little human faces, the pawns are ponies, the brooks are ponies, the bishops are actually Catholic priests and the King is Celestia while the Queen is also Celestia but with a bigger horn."
>The dull shock on your face is indescribable
"...Can I see the pieces?"
>"NO YOU WEIRDO, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PONY CHESS, IT'S JUST CALLED CHESS."
>You jump at her outburst
>Now that you know that you're effectively drowning in Twilight's magic, you're not completely sure of what you should or shouldn't do
>"Now... outside of all of that... won't you have a sit down with me?"
"You know, I've been thinking of it, I'm tempted to. But I should really go outside to get a breath of fresh air. You get it, right?"
>You give her your best smile
>You inhale
>No you don't
>Rather, you can't
>What?
>You take a step forward, trying to inhale again
>No dice
>What?!
>"Oh my, Anon... you really do need to step outside for some air! Did you know that since steam is just fire and water, that there's no possible way Zecora could've treated dragon fire or water I got from a lake far, far from Ponyville?"
>This sneaky, cunning pony
>You dart your head back and try to scoop the steam against your face
>It doesn't work
>You almost feel like some sort of invisible shield is around you
>Or that the steam is alive and just hates your face
>You stagger a few steps forward, toward one of the flames
>It looks like one that everyone else is sitting or laying at
>Twilight casually walks beside you
>"You know, I'm going to bet that you didn't expect this. I mean, you had a really good idea! And everypony is having a calm, soothing time too! They're breathing in my steam as naturally as they would normally!"
>After a few more steps, you hack out something and stagger forward
>You're still standing
>But this ain't good
>You've always had fun holding your breath for whatever reasons but this is starting to push it
>Has it even been a minute yet?
>"You really take my breath away sometimes, Anon. Is it too silly to say that I've taken yours away too? I think I would sound more like a movie villain if I said that... but those lines are in action movies too, right?"
>You drop to one knee, gasping for air
>"You know, you can have it back, Anon. All you need to do is ask. Say it with your heart and I'll give you everything you could ever want."
>She can read your thoughts or something
>Twilight giggles
>"I can, Anon! You don't need to be panicked, I promise! All you need to do is ask!"
>Not going to happen
>Twilight steps in front of you
>She looks puzzled
>"Why not, Anon? You don't even dislike me. I can see deep into your mind, your heart, your soul. And I can see that you do like me. Even if you're worried about admitting it because you like Applejack too."
>She's not the only one you like
>"Oh, Pinkie, Rarity, and even Zecora too?"
>Twilight giggles again
>"Well, it's good to like your friends. And they are your friends."
>Exactly
>Your fist begins to pound the dirt
>It feels solid
>You're making it even more solid, packing in as much of it as you can
>Making sure that there's no possible iota of steam
>Hopefully Zecora did some sort of goofy shit to take care of the soil
>"What are you doing? Anon, you really need to say something... I don't want you to suffocate!"
>You try to lean down but end up with your face smacking into the dirt
>She did it before
>Hopefully she does it again
>You scoop a handful of dirt against your face
>Into your mouth
>And scream into the soil
>It at least means that you aren't in a vacuum
>PINKIE
>"Anon, why did yo--"
>Pinkie's head pops out of the ground
>"Anon, my pinkie sense was tingling! This stuff is gr... eat..."
>Immediately, you can feel air rush into your lungs again
>And a lot of dirt
>You sputter hard, spitting out the dirt
"Oh thank Christ. Pinkie, you gotta teach me that trick."
>"Oh sure Anon, it's easy once you get used to how to deal with the pebbles and hard lumps! Why are you eating dirt ,anyway? I have plenty of chocolate stuff out there that, when crumbled up, looks like soft, yummy soil!"
>Pinkie's head pivots toward Twilight
>She's just as confused as she is surprised
>"Hi Twilight! Great spa, isn't it!"
>The purple unicorn is completely stunned
>No pony expects Pinkie
"Yeah... I, uh... I just got a bit light-headed. Ain't that right, Twilight? You were helping me find the exit in this maze."
>Twilight's ears fold back and her expression changes on a dime to a meek smile
>"Oh... oh! Y-yes, how silly of me! I must've lost my... sense of direction too..."
>Pinkie's head slides back and forth
>"Oh you sillies, do you need me to help? Wait, before you answer, Anon!"
>She beams at you
>"Check this out!"
>While she was turning back and forth before, she starts to rotate
>Faster
>And faster
>Until she's a spinning blur
>"Foo-o-o-o-o-o-o-l-l-l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w-w-w-w m-m-m-m-m-m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!!"
>Like some cartoon mole, she sinks back down and starts to tunnel off into the distance, a small bump in the ground acting as a path to follow
>Twilight looks up at you as if she's completely caught off-guard
>"Anon... what just happened?"
"Easy. The steam and all that crap was your realm. But the dirt wasn't."
>"But how did Pinkie...?"
"I'm the alien in this world and you're asking me how did Pinkie, regarding anything?!"
>Her shock turns to a sly smile
>"Anon... I love you. That was clever... not as clever as me, but quick thinking."
>You inhale hard to help regain your wits and walk off
>"I mean it! You know I never would've allowed you to get hurt from it, right? It's like Chess! Like Chess!"
>These fucking ponies
>You follow Pinkie's trail until you see something resembling light
>The exit!
>Or entrance, now that you're in the tent
>The heat is far less oppressive but it's still pretty dense
>You can hear Rarity sighing
>"Anon, this really was quite the idea... and to think, I didn't even bring any cucumbers..."
>It takes you a second to acquire her, given the white body, but you do find her splayed out on a rock as if she were posing for an artist
>Her eyes are closed at least
"Yeah, well... I think I forgot too. Anyone else leave here?"
>"Aside from Pinkie Pie acting like a sugar-powered drill? No, darling, I haven't. And I'm going to keep my eyes closed, in case you're obscenely nude."
>You raise an eyebrow and begin to retort
>But you end up meandering and nodding
"I... yeah, yeah. That's for the best. I'll warn you when I'm coming back in so you'll have time."
>"MUCH appreciated, Anonymous."
>You step through the tent flap and you're in open air again
>And boy is it a mite chilly
>You see Pinkie, having popped out of her tunnel, sitting as if she were waiting on you
>"Anon's a dirty bo-oy!"
>You glance down and wipe your face more
>"No, not there!"
>She points with her hoof
>"There...!"
>You turn, bring your leg up to cover your shame, and shriek like a girl
>For a second before you realize she's seen you there before
>And then some
>You keep your leg up and frown at her
"I'll have you know that steam is a very healthy way to clean off body parts."
>"So why did you call me? You are my best friend, so of course I'd help!"
>You open your mouth so you can begin to weave a fantastical tale of nothing that somehow led to your mouth full of dirt and screaming into said dirt until
>"It was Twilight, wasn't it?"
"What? No, who? Twilight? No, she's alright."
>Pinkie smiles at you
>It's a very wide smile
>"Anon, we're best friends."
"I know. And I'm completely thankful for that."
>"And best friends don't lie to each other."
"You're right, they do not."
>"Was it Twilight?"
"Yeaaaaaa...nnn... yes, she surprised me is all."
>Pinkie's expression doesn't change
>"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"
"No, of course not. I don't do lying."
>"Then why aren't you telling me the truth why you'd eat dirt like I imagine you'd eat pony?"
>Woof
>That causes a quick mental image in your head but it doesn't linger enough to distract you
"Because... she's... Spike told me how awkward she can be. And she... is awkward. She can be. And it isn't her fault, she's just... weird. You know?"
>Pinkie's smile actually mellows out
>"You know... you kinda got a point... did you know that she once made a group of ponies fawn over an old doll she had?"
"I... did... not?"
>"Oh yeah! She ended up requiring Celestia's help because dozens upon dozens of ponies started to fight each other for it! If that ain't a perfect example of how weird she is,I don't know what is!"
>She snorts and laughs at the fond memory that you surely don't share
"Yeah... I guess that's right. Magic sure is funky like that, ain't it."
>Pinkie stops in mid laugh, in a split fucking second, and smiles at you again
>The sudden change is enough to make you feel a cold chill go up your spine
>And it probably isn't just the cool wind on your steamed, sweaty body
>"Are you sure you're ok, best friend?"
"Yeah. What's to worry about, I'm fine. Just, you know."
>"No, I don't."
>Her voice isn't monotone
>But it's close enough for concern
"I'm just... I'm glad I didn't pass out, naked as I was and in some dark corner of the barn. I can't drag down things by having Twilight, of all ponies, find me and think I was dead or something. I don't do great with heat and... just feeling things kinda closed in around me. What would she or anyone else think, right?"
>Her smile relaxes again
>Like some fucking lie detector mode
>You aren't lying, of course
>"Weeeeeeeelllllllll okidokiloki! Wanna have some punch and some chocolate cupcakes? They can still be ground up until they look like sweet mud pies, icing included!"
"In a more controlled setting, sure. But for now, I'll keep it clean-ish."
>You sit down at the side of the table she set up
>Seems like you aren't the first to pick apart the snacks on both hers and Applejack's stuff
>You don't feel nearly as bad grabbing some stuff then
>"Anon, you should try some of that! And oh, that too! Rainbow Dash likes those so leave two out for her. Oh and..."
>She rattles off the list of everything she made, who prefers them, and to what extent so if they had to pick between one of the two, she'd know which one they would prefer, and more
>But she stops when it comes to you
>"But for you... well... try what you like! I don't put anything in my food that shouldn't be there so you know it's safe!"
>Halfway through eating a cookie you nearly spit it out
>Nearly
>You don't want to waste food
>You gulp it all down, bypassing the wise idea to chew
"I... uh... who would do that?"
>Pinkie snorts and laughs, trotting over to sit on your lap, as she's always done before
>Her rump wriggles against your lap, which is new, but she otherwise stays still
>But it was still enough to cause a minor rise out of you
>"Well I mean, Applejack's been doing that for sure. I don't know how, but I bet she has an entire cookbook of ancient, ancestral recipes!"
"So... she puts stuff in her food like everyone else does, to make food?"
>You're really not sure how much she knows
>Either independently or due to Twilight's information
>"Maaaaaaaybe!"
>You shrug, playing it off
"Yeah well... what if I like Applejack's cooking and the way she does things? She's a pretty alright mare..."
>Pinkie stifles a giggle, nodding
>"Sssuuuuuuuuuuure she is... I bet she wouldn't know how to have fun if her lower leg was bruised up!"
>You glance down to your leg
>The bruise is still there
>And she's probably seen it when it was worse
"Well nobody's perfect."
>"I guess... I mean look at you! You have a perfectly pink pretty pony sitting in front of you, and you're only eating the food on the table!"
>"I'm still here darling! Please, Pinkie, do not tempt the weird creature to eat you in any capacity! Wait until after my spa time, at the very least!"
>Pinkie looks around
>"...Where did Rarity come from?"
>Thank God for Spike's crush
"Thank you, Rarity! I do not wish to devour any of you ponies, I promise!"
>Your shout is met with a long, drawn out sigh of a 'riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhht'

>Between Pinkie giving you guff and trying to casually tempt you to play with her and Rarity loudly coughing whenever things sound like they're progressing too much, you've felt pretty safe
>You've cooled off mostly from the sauna, and helped yourself to a fair amount of the snacks
>It's been maybe a week and you already miss meat
>Rainbow Dash eventually comes out, yawning and panting
>"Holy cow, it's hot in there! How does anyone last so long in that?"
>She sees you sitting on the ground, naked as can be
>And Pinkie Pie on your lap
>She grimaces
>"Ew. Pinkie, what are you doing there."
>She isn't even asking
>"Well I'm sitting, and I got the best seat in the barn!"
>She scoots from side to side
>Part of you is sandwiched between her hind end and the ground
>You've stopped trying to fight against her, both because she hasn't done anything really dangerous and because you're tired of getting chastised by Rarity for doing nearly anything
>You keep a stone face of vague annoyance
>It's better for endurance's sake
>She helps herself to a few of her preferred snacks, as Pinkie mentioned, and flies off
>"I'll be back later, keep that stuff fired up for me!"
>You wait until she's well out of sight before speaking up
"So... did she really just fly off like that?"
>"Yeah, she does that from time to time. I bet she's just working up another sweat so she can come back and sweat!"
>Sure
>That's how that works
"Well... I don't know about you, but I wanna go back in. I'm hoping that... uh..."
>That Twilight doesn't try to suffocate you again?
"I've cooled off enough."
>You grab the pink pony's sides and lift her up
>She left a little bit of a mess on you, since there's a strand connecting her to you
"...well now."
>She giggles and wriggles out of your hands
>She stands to the side, beaming with pride
>"I guess all of that steamy stuff got me steamed up too! I'm ready to head in if you are!"
>Good thing Rarity can't see this
>You stand up, trying to ignore how much you're standing at attention
>You really don't recall ever having so much consistent energy
>Probably helps because you can't do anything else like play your vidya
>And screw reading for a while
>You ignore Pinkie's excited commentary about your physical state and walk back into the tent
>As soon as you lift the flap and enter, you're assaulted by a solid wall of wet heat
>You see Rarity, laying on her back, snooring with a rag over her eyes
>Due to reasons, you look over her
>She seems to have the same physical characteristics as the other ponies
>But some aspects are...
>Different
>Maybe Spike would like to know about her condition so he can look over her
>For her own safety
>And as a reward for pestering you so much
>Pinkie follows you into the barn proper
>After having stayed outside, it seems even darker than before
>Maybe the steam has thinned a bit
>The green fires from Spike are really good markers of what's where too
>"Oh, center one is where the stones are! Just don't squash your pebbles against your stones, it might not feel too good!"
>She giggles with a snort and trots ahead
>You keep pace, enough so you aren't left alone
>You see Twilight's silhouette on one stone
>Applejack on another, she seems awake
>Fluttershy, oddly enough, is the most energetic of the bunch since you can see her flapping her wings back and forth
"Hey there, everyone. Sorry, had to step out for a bit. I got lost in the steam, if you could believe it..."
>"It's true! Poor silly tripped and ended up eating mud pie without the pie!"
>Though you can't see her face, you can tell that Twilight is staring at you
>"...that's right. He really should be looked after better..."
>Applejack huffs, a little annoyed
>"Y'should've at least woken me up so I could go with you! Sit your hind down, we were talking stories."
>Story time?
>Yay
>You sit down, hooking an arm around Applejack
"So what're we telling?"
>"G... ghost stories..."
>Fluttershy nervously flaps her wings harder, trying to clear up the steam
"Spooky. You know, I got some stories..."
>"Yeah? What sort of ghost stories do your folks got?"
"Well... magic is usually a pretty mixed thing in my world. Sometimes it's a great, fantastic force for good. Other times... it's something only demons and monsters use."
>Your eyes naturally dart to Twilight for a fraction of a second
>A shiver goes down your spine because for that fraction of a second, she smiles wide enough to reveal the white of her teeth
"And... other times. Well, magic is just used as a tool. Now why I specify using them as tools..."
>You proceed to tell a story about a machine of unfathomable technological prowess
>A machine that hates
>A machine that hates and hates and hates and hates and hates and hates AND HATES AND HATES AND HATES
>A machine that hates humans
>But
>A machine that keeps five humans alive
>By the end of it, none of the ponies are happy
>Twilight looks intrigued, yet aghast
>Fluttershy made an excuse and ran out of the sauna
>Pinkie Pie had no jokes to tell
>Applejack, the one closest to you, ends up clinging to your arm like a tourniquet
>"That's... disturbing... your world doesn't actually have a computer like that, does it? How did it keep everyone alive? How could that not be magic?"
>As terrifying as it was, Twilight just can't help but want to find out the details
>You respect her a little for that
"Well... that's the question. If you have a creation of such unimaginable power, how can you ever gauge what it can or can't do?"
>That wishy washy comment tears it for Applejack
>"N-now hold on there, you ain't gonna go back to your world if that can happen! I ain't gonna let you!"
"Oh come on, I'll be fine. If it happens, it'll be long after I'm gone."
>None of the three appreciate your answer
>"That's nothing to joke about!"
>"Don't even talk like that!"
>"I'm not going to let you die of old age! Even Celestia is well over a thousand years old!"
"Wait, she is?"
>"Of course she is! I've told you about her before, didn't I?"
"...did you?"
>Your uncertainty stuns Twilight for a bit
>Applejack gives a loud huff, keeping her close cling to your arm
>"Celestia ain't gonna let that happen either... not so sure about you being immortal like her though..."
"Speaking of Celestia, when can I see her? If she really can send me back home..."
>You should change course on your train of thought
"...or, I mean, if she can at least return me to grab some stuff. It's important, you know. If I were the... uh... whatever she is, I'd probably wanna know about some alien popping up too."
>Applejack shrugs
>"Well it ain't the biggest priority... she can maybe give us some help..."
>She emphasizes 'us'
>"Well... if you're so convinced that you absolutely NEED to see her... why don't we go tomorrow for a quick introduction? I want to show you Canterlot and other things anyway!"
>"No way! You ain't gonna sneak him off to some hoity toity city, even to see Celestia, without me!"
>"Ugh, Applejack, don't you have better things to do?"
>"Better than keeping Anon safe and happy? You bet your bottom bit I don't!"
>"Your bottom couldn't keep Anon safe if his life depended on it! Just face up to facts!"
>"My bottom!? Y-you're gonna need more than magic to save your mouth after this!"
>You watch both of them go at it, each coming up with more personal and creative attacks
>Pinkie Pie, who's been silent the entire time, nudges your free arm with her nose
>"Hey Anon?"
"What's up?"
>"You know... they really are good friends. But sometimes they just butt heads."
>You'd hate to see what happens if they aren't friends
"So...did they do this before I came here?"
>"No... not really, no. It's kinda weird. But some of their insults are at least funny!"
"You're not even wrong."
>"Yeah? ! Well I bet you couldn't even swallow Anon's-"
>You bring your spare hand to Applejack's face and give her a slap
>Not even a real slap
>Just a pat on her cheeks with your hand
>She looks at you with wild confusion
>Then you pat her cheek again
>The look of shock on her face is cathartic
>You end the combo with a boop to her nose
>Her eyes widen and hear ears flatten against her head
>Neither of you say anything to each other
>She loosens her grip on your arm and bows her head down
>"...I'm sorry Anon... and Twilight."
>Twilight looks at you like you just cast some sort of runic curse on her
>"Anon?! What did you just do to--"
>You reach over and do the same to her
>Though it's a tiny bit more forceful a series of slaps
>You do want to get back at her just a tiny bit
>Rather than booping her nose, you take hold of her face and jam your thumb in her mouth
>She looks absolutely dazed
>And in love
>You glare at her, refusing to say a word
>Twilight visibly shivers and bites down on your thumb
>After some heavy huffing, she shakes hard
>"Thorry Applejack... Anon..."
>You try to pull your hand away but she bites down on your thumb harder
>The lustful look in her eye is maybe a little more than what you expected
>After giving a soft whinny, she lets go
>Pinkie watches in silent awe as you end the arguing without a word
>You look at your slightly slobbered hand and wipe it against your leg
>"Do me next! Do me next!"
>Pinkie's cheerful and eager to be taught a lesson
>Rather than assaulting her, you turn your head to face her, gently bonk her forehead with your own and go "doink"
>She sits there, expecting some profound expression
>And sits there
>She doesn't look impressed
>She looks like she bought a giant roll of fireworks and it fizzled out
>And yet she doesn't say anything either
>Between Applejack being humbled, Twilight smoldering and Pinkie Pie seeking the deepest recesses of her soul of whether or not the doink was worth it, there is peace
>You can finally enjoy spa in peace and quiet

>With the ponies pacified, and the steam finally starting to fade, you're left with more heat and less humidity
>Compared to how you were the very first day you popped up, you've felt like you've gained some confidence
>Whether or not you would ever outwardly admit it
>You care for these talking horses
>You're also very much attracted to them, physically and otherwise
>You should be surprised but you aren't
>You find yourself leaning over to Applejack
>You kiss the top of her head, which hasn't gone unnoticed by her
>She giggles and leans against your arm
>That attack you unleashed on her, as silly as it was, seemed to work on her
>You had no clue how the hell it was going to work but you just felt the need to assert yourself
>She started to really not push you around once you decided things for yourself and for her
>You still like her
>The talk of having a farm to live and work on
>And to have a big family
>It's been a week that you've been here, if that
>But you want that life
>You really don't believe that you will ever get another chance for that
>Your eyes wander to Twilight
>She's been watching you, but looks away with a coy smile when you finally show attention to her
>You
>You don't hate her
>How could you
>She brought you here
>You really don't like the nightmares she gave you
>Or how you felt like you were going to outright fucking die
>She violated you on a level you didn't comprehend even
>And yet here you are
>Hanging out with her
>Having done things with her
>You dislike her about some things
>But you don't have it in you to hate her
>You're just afraid that she might turn that against you to do more
>You know for a fact that she's scheming something up right now
>Your body reacts with a twitch
>The crazed, lustful look in her eye is quite something indeed
>Applejack had that look too
>But it was more of confidence
>She hasn't done much to hurt you
>Except what she's been putting in your food
>You really don't think you've ever been this sexually active and hungry
>Though it certainly hasn't worked in her favor since the other two ponies nearby have taken advantage of that as well
>You think
>This really feels like the first time you've had a clear head
>You look down at the last pony
>Pinkie
>You're still genuinely not sure what her deal is
>She is a neat friend
>A horny little beast
>And possibly going to stab you in the back
>But she's really hard to hate too
>You don't hate any of them
>But you especially don't hate her
>Who else would challenge you to a lucha match?
>Even if it ended in a lot of things ending up lightly bruised
>Your eyes go to the green dragon's fire
>You're probably not the only one thinking hard on things
>But one thing keeps ringing back in your head
>A way home
>That Celestia pony, too
>If she can send you home, even if just long enough to sort your affairs
>You might honestly just move some of your stuff here and call it a done deal
>But with that anti-magic crap that's still in your system, would that stop it from happening?
>Would it even work?
>Could you live with yourself if you were unable to come back?
>Who could ever see such a drastically different life and go back to a normal daily grind of work, internet, and introspective fantasizing on one day being able to afford a permanent home?
>Nevermind a family
>Nevermind friends that wouldn't abandon you over petty reasons
>You really don't want to break the calm silence
>Applejack's nuzzling your arm
>Twilight's watching you with a smile
>Pinkie is in your lap, head on your knee and not even grinding herself against you
>But she was for a bit
"Guys... I really need Celestia to send me home. At least for a day so I can bring my stuff and settle some affairs. I don't think I should go back to my world and just... act like this didn't happen. I can't. But I can't just drop everything I had and stay here with nothing."
>The silence takes on a new tone
>More morose
>Twilight speaks up first
>"We know Anon... all of us know."
>Applejack nuzzles your arm harder
>"But you ain't leaving for good either. Celestia will make sure of that."
>"I will too."
>The sound in Twilight's voice tells you that she's deathly serious
>Pinkie doesn't speak up until she shifts herself in your lap
>"You know... what if one of us goes with him? I mean, we have the powers of harmony. We can track each other through that because it's super power magic. And we can make sure that nothing happens to Anon!"
>For being the goofiest airhead that could break physics, she has a point
"Yeah... yeah! Why not?"
>You reflexively look at Applejack
"I mean, let's say you have some of... tracker on you or something. Magic, whatever. Can't there be a way to hold onto that, like a tether? Then once I'm done, we just yank on the tether and come back h..."
>You were almost going to say 'home'
"...here."
>Applejack's eyes go wide
>"You'd take me to your world?!"
"Gotta learn more about me. What better way than to show you for a bit?"
>You can feel Twilight's eyes boring into the side of your head
>"Absolutely not Applejack! If she's unable to use magic, she could get lost in limbo with you and... and then there'd be no way to rescue you!"
>"Yeah... it'd just be you an' me... with no interruptions."
>Applejack went from sounding stunned to sounding almost hopeful
>"No way in Tartarus, Applejack!"
>Twilight growls
>"It... it isn't for us to decide. Celestia knows best. She's above and beyond anything any of us could understand about magic. Especially about... whatever world Anon is from. We'll have to obey her counsel. She may even be the only one who has the magic and knowledge available to do this, if it's even possible."
"Why wouldn't it be? You pulled me out of the ether."
>She shakes her head, sighing
>"No, not like that! That was... it was a mistake on my part. A miscalculation. Something that I didn't have control over. Either I didn't understand something or I did something wrong. The fact that I don't even know what I did wrong shows that you coming here to brighten up our lives is... is a fluke. Pure dumb luck."
>She sounds frustrated
>You can understand why
>"Whatever I don't know, I know Celestia knows. That's why I'm her student and not the other way around. Anything we're dreaming about... we don't know if it's safe. For any of us. And we can't take that risk. I'm not losing Applejack to space and dimensional flux just so she can go sight seeing."
>That's
>Surprisingly genuine of her
>"Likewise, I can't let you go back to your home if you're going to just end up in your world... in a rock. Or fused to some animal or another one of your kind. We need to know far more before we do anything. Because we will only have one chance at this."
>Applejack wraps one of her front legs around your arm
>Her hoof slides into your hand
>"I ain't too proud to admit it... Twilight's right. There's a mighty big mystery that could end really badly if we don't do this right. And I sure don't think anypony can give us even an inkling of an answer except for Celestia."
>Pinkie, listening intently, just decides to stay in your lap and smile at the collective brainstorming
>She's contributed more than her share anyway
"Alright... so before any of that, we go to Celestia."
>"And she's in Canterlot."
"Right. How far is that from here?"
>"Well it ain't far, right Twilight?"
>"Right, Applejack. If we send her a letter, I'm sure she could prepare transportation for us-for Anon-in the morning."
"And from there?"
>Both of them look at each other
>Then at you
>And shrug
>"We don't know."
>They say in unison
>"Ohh, stereo!"
>Pinkie giggles with a snort at their mutual reactions
"Alright... that's fair enough... so it means that tomorrow we'll see for sure."
>Once the steam dissipated, Twilight was the first to get up
>"Well... this was nice."
>She looks at you
>She looks like she's come to terms with something
>"How about when you come back we have another spa day?"
"Yeah... that sounds good. You alright with the barn being used to cook us again?"
>You turn to a standing, stretching Applejack
>"Sure do, sugarcube! Boy, I'm thirsty after all of that too... did anyone else end up napping?"
>"I think Fluttershy did... where is Fluttershy, anyway?"
>Pinkie slinks out of your lap, sensing that now is a good time
>"Where is anypony, now that I think about it?"
"Well... that's a good question. Rarity was keeping watch out there, right?"
>Your eyes dart down to Pinkie
>Her eyes dart up to you
>It was still a little awkward having her listen to everything going on
>Rarity is really skilled, there's no doubt, but something about her just seems weird to you
>"Speaking of Rarity, I'm guessing she may know where Spike is too... he gonna be able to put out these flames without the barn catching?"
>You stand up, grabbing your clothes without worrying on giving the ponies a view or two
>You weren't tired
>You don't think they were either
>But there's a sense of finality in the air
>"Oh, certainly. He's done weirder things with himself and fire."
"...well he's at that age."
>Presumably
>You have no clue how dragons age
"Just knock first if he's in another room."
>"Oh boy you're way too late on that little nugget..."
>The four of you walk out of the barn, immediately feeling far cooler air in the tent
>Fluttershy and Rarity are talking
>Rainbow Dash is laying half out of the tent, groaning
>"You guys finally came out! I don't know how you could spend that much heat."
>"And that clothing... darling, don't ruin it by drenching it in gross sweat. Have Applejack was it proper, will you?"
"Thank you, Rarity. You seen Spike? What about Zecora, I don't recall seeing her anywhere during all of this."
>"Spikey-wikey is doing me the most generous favor for me. I was thinking, since we're already playing with fire and insisting on being sweaty and dirty..."
>Rainbow Dash groans out something, presumably taking offence
>"I decided that we should have a fire outside, enjoy the nice... far cooler air. And have some smores. Really mark the occasion."
>"Whew, alright Rarity! I never even thought of that!"
>Pinkie hops to the unicorn and tackles her with a hug
>"Pinkie, please! This dirt is going to stick!"
>"S'mores, huh... ain't that a camping snack?"
>Applejack looks at you with a quirked eyebrow
"Well it's roughing it for Rarity, that's for sure."
>"I hope he gets back... I need to start on my letter as soon as we get back home."
>Twilight heads outside the tent, stepping over the blue pegasus
"Give her credit for being dedicated..."
>You certainly know what that dedication gets her
"Flutter, you ever see Zecora?"
>Distracted by the small fighting taking place between the marshmallow and cotton candy ponies, she only notices you after a few seconds
>"Oh! I'm sorry Anon, I haven't. She's always been a very quiet type. Maybe she's out taking a walk? I know that I should have done that, but the spa was so comforting for my throat! It was sore before but now I feel like I could speak for days and not even feel a tingle!"
"Eloquently spoken. Thanks, I wanted to thank her for some stuff."
>You sidestep the ponies out into the raw outside
>The sun's setting
>You haven't ever seen a sunset like this back home
>You wouldn't even really have the time to appreciate it, unless you were on vacation
>Without thinking, you just start to walk toward it
"God damn... what a week it's been. So..."
>You begin to speak
>To no one in particular
>Maybe just to yourself
"Say I go back. An hour is too short. A day is probably enough time... but what do I bring? Consoles? Laptop? Twilight gave me enough to read for years. Do I bring clothing? Boots are a must. And my hats. What do I do about the rest of my stuff? I guess my money won't be worth anything... family..."
>You really don't have many relatives
>Your mom and maybe an uncle
"Do I tell her... something that makes me sound like a drug addict? I can't just vanish without saying anything. If Applejack is with me..."
>You laugh to yourself
>You haven't ever heard of a funnier joke
"Sure, lemme just show up with a talking horse and tell my mom I'm gonna..."
>You sigh
"Gonna tell her that I could start a family..."
>Do you deserve this?
>Would you even be a good father?
>What if you didn't even have human kids?
>Your head spins enough to make you nearly trip over yourself
>When you come to, you find yourself on a hill
>A very particular hill
>You look down and see the secret spot
>The secret spot that's so secret that Pinkie could just pop up out of nowhere
>Rather than walk down into the round valley, you sit down and watch the sun
"Maybe I already died and just popped up here. Twilight's Satan. Pinkie's a demon. Applejack's...."
>And angel?
>Even she worries you a bit
>But she's done so little against you that you can't really say you mind having food that she's fiddled with
>She's a good cook though
"If I get sent back and can't come back... what the hell do I even do with myself. Do I just go crazy and tell people talking ponies and magic exists? Do I just blow my head off and... call it a good game?"
>Your stomach drops like a lead weight
"...it's gonna be that, isn't it. I can already tell."
>You can hear how close you are to tears
>You've successfully defeated yourself
>"Please don't do that... you ain't getting left behind."
>Who is that?
>It sounds like Applejack
>You watch her come into view and sit at your side
"...you been listening by chance?"
>"Well you ain't exactly trying to hide."
"Yeah..."
>"Why'd you wanna go and take a walk? I didn't notice you were gone until you were already a pip in the distance."
>She laughs with a 'hur hur'
>"Y'know, Spike finally came back. Poor boy's been running ragged since it was Rarity asking him to do stuff."
>You nod
"Yeah... I don't get what his deal is at all with her."
>You don't answer further
>You just watch the setting sun
>"...do you really need to go back home?"
"Well... if I couldn't come back here. No. But, if I do that? I lose everything I've ever had. My family, how little it is, will think I ran off or was murdered and they'll never see or hear from me again. It'll wreck them."
>"You make a good point... I couldn't do that to Applebloom. Or Big Mac. Or heavens, Granny Smith..."
>You snort
>You forgot just how goofy the names were of all of these technicolor ponies
"Yeah... yeah, you do got a big family, don't you."
>"I will once we make one."
>She sounds so confident
"What if we can't?"
>Applejack gives you a confident chuckle
>"Between magic, tried-and-true home remedies and a lot of effort? We ain't gonna stop until we see results, buster."
>You smile and nod
"Sounds good to me..."
>You feel Applejack sidle up until her side is against yours
>"I... know I ain't the most socially keen pony. I got my family, and my family is like a business. So I don't really go and meet any ponies casually. You certainly ain't no pony but..."
>She audibly flounders, like she's trying to pick and choose her words
>"You sure left an impression on me, Anon. It ain't been easy on me. Sheesh, it ain't been easy on you either..."
>She mumbles the second half of her statement
>"But... you ain't owe me nothin'. I know I was a little hard on you but... well, you know..."
"No, I get you. I guess I would've done the same if I saw someone and went 'holy hell, I can't let that escape'. Right?"
>"Well, I ain't gonna think exactly that, it just sounds petty..."
>She draws a figure in the grass with the tip of her hoof
>"I just... I don't know what's right. I ain't got no clue what's proper-like. For... you know. Courtship. Dating... a-and... more."
>She does seem to be a little socially awkward
>You're sure she must be some sort of professional mastermind, to handle some generation-long family business
"Yeah... but I think it works for me. You don't need to change. I like how you've been."
>You finally break eye contact from the lowering orb of space fire to look at Applejack
>She just looks embarrassed
>"Y... you mean that?"
"Sure do."
>"What should we name our first colt?"
>She blurts out
>After a few seconds, her eyes widen like she just realized what she said
>"Er... uh... n-nevermind..."
"Heheh. We got time to talk it over."
>You wrap your arm around her
"But you know that we're gonna have a lot of naming to do, too."
>Applejack shivers a little under your arm
>"Dang straight we are... we're gonna be perfect."
"And we're not gonna let work run our lives."
>"Well... the acres ain't gonna run themselves..."
"Sure but you aren't alone. We aren't going to be alone. I'm guessing your family kept together, and the business is proof of that. If it were the other way around..."
>You shrug
>Another time, you can tell her more about your family
"Well, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. But I just don't want to put work above my family is all. I don't ever want to lose my family for money."
>"I knew you were the right one, with talk like that."
>She sounds proud
>Your eyes go back to the sunset
"If I can go back, could you come back with me?"
>"To your home?"
"Well... it ain't like here for you. It isn't my home. It's just where I sleep and keep my stuff. I don't have a home. I haven't felt like I've had a home since I was a young kid."
>"That... that don't sound right."
"No... no, it doesn't."
>"Well you don't even need to ask. I'm gonna chase you down to the ends of Equestria, and drag you back the second you decide you ain't gonna father me up some foals."
>You scoff
"Yeah? That a threat or a promise?"
>"It's both. Twilight has a lot of her magic and crap like that... but I ain't no pushover neither."
"Yeah, I don't doubt it."
>The conversation dies down for a bit
"Sleep with me tonight. All of this stuff is rattling my nerves."
>"You don't even need to ask."
>Something pokes the back of your mind
>Where's Applejack's dog been?
"...Applejack."
>"Mm?"
"...the first few days I was here."
>"Mm?"
"...who or what was licking my neck?"
>Applejack immediately gets up
>"Whewee, I am just about ready for some s'mores. You ready for some s'mores? I'm ready for some big s'mores."
"Applejack..."
>She begins to trot down the hill, toward the barn-turned-spa
>You get up and start to follow her
>You can see a nice green fire in the distance
"Hey, you're gonna answer me!"
>"Speak up, I can't hear ya, I gotta get back to the gang!"
>Her trot goes into a full gallop
"You little bumpkin, answer me?!"
>"Last one there's a rotten orange!"
>You chase after her back to the group, entering a full sprint
>You knew something about her was more than a little off
>Evidently that sort of thing is your bag
>You just barely manage to out-run Applejack to the growing fire
>Every pony is there, save for Rainbow Dash
>"Hey, why's everyone outside?"
>Speak of the devil
>"Hey there RD, you missed the end of the steam! We're gonna hang out and make some s'mores. Y'want some?"
>"Oh lame... better have enough for seconds!"
>"Sure do, thanks to Rarity!"
>Applejack splits off from you to talk to Rainbow Dash
>"Hey, I'm the one who brought all of the stuff here! Little credit! Guys, come on!"
>Spike follows them, desperately seeking credit for his thankless grunt work
>You really feel for the little dude
>The evening turns to night while everyone celebrates and enjoys their melty delights
>Gratitude is split up between Twilight, Applejack
>And you
>Since you came up with the exact plan and solved the mystery of how to create steam, you were given a bit of a joking nickname of being the group's steamin' demon
>Everything feels nice
>Like you're a part of a group
>Even Twilight hasn't been doing anything unusual
>The fact that she's been friendly and amicable itself has been unusual
>She notices you eyeing her and smiles
>It's a bit of an amorous smile, but she doesn't change her attitude
>Maybe it's for the best that you're surrounded by so many other witnesses
>And maybe friends?
>You don't exactly believe that you're their friends
>But you're at least allowed to enjoy yourself among them
>After a third round of s'mores and dramatized stories about past shenanigans, fatigue starts to set in
>Rarity leaves first
>Spike follows, naturally
>Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy leave together, supposedly because something about night time flying and the buddy system
>Pinkie Pie leaves too, citing that she hasn't been so partied out in a while
>So it's just you, Applejack, and Twilight
>"Ahh... oh, Anon. This was such a fun day."
"Yeah..."
>All three of you are distanced out evenly, the flame in the middle
"So Spike gonna be ok walking off like he did? I tell you, the guy's gotta just really let some things out."
>"Oh sure. This isn't the first time Rarity has got him so hooked."
>Applejack chuckles
>"Boy, that dragon sure is whipped... could you imagine being so hopelessly hooked?"
>You stare at her with a deadpan expression
>Twilight smirks at the orange pony
>"...I ain't hooked."
"Right."
>"Whatever you say, Applejack."
"You're not one to talk either."
>"I mean it, I ain't whipped!"
>Despite everything that has happened, you manage to all share a laugh
"Twilight... why are you being so helpful?"
>"I already told you why, didn't I?"
"Yeah. But... I want to know the real reason."
>Twilighth sighs
>"I guess it's only fair that you doubt me after everything."
>You almost expect her to start calling herself a bad pony again but instead she seems to consider it a serious topic
>"You really came through for all of us. And you made this a lot better than it would've been otherwise. You've shown a lot of us that you aren't just a pretty face and a magnificent, yet alien man."
"I'm pretty?"
>"If you didn't help organize it as much as you did... well, I don't know. But we all do appreciate it a lot."
>These ponies seemed all into the idea of going far for someone on a whim
>You're thankful
>Despite the issues
"I'm glad I could help. Next time, we know what to do."
>After next time...
>You're glad that there will be a next time
"If... when... I stay here. Will it be ok? Am I breaking any rules of nature or something?"
>Applejack lets out a defensive snort
>"Who says it won't be ok? We got dragons, pony-eating plants, magic, a thousand year old princess! What makes you so wrong?"
"I don't know. I mean... I suppose I don't wanna live here for the rest of my life and not even know what's outside of your land."
>"Our land."
"R-right..."
>Twilight joins in, rubbing her hoof against her cheek
>"Well you know MY offer still stands..."
>You glare at her
>"Relax, I'm joking. Almost."
>She flashes a lusty smile
>But it fades when Applejack snarls
>"Ponyville is a nice town. Once we introduce you to everypony, it'll be fine! When it comes to adventuring out beyond... well, we're going to Canterlot, aren't we? That will really introduce you to a lot of ponies. You certainly won't be a secret. Who knows, maybe that might give you a greater sense of wanderlust or you might realize that spending your days in one place isn't that bad an idea."
>This does give you a little bit of information to chew on and digest
"You're not wrong..."
>You shift to focus on Applejack
"If I'm gonna be someone important here, I can't live in a barn..."
>Applejack averts your eyes, trying her best to give an awkward smile
>"I know, sugarcube... I really ain't ever gonna be able to live that down."
>She gets up and points out to an empty stretch of land
"We'll just build ya a home then! I mean, we got the main house, but believe you me, it ain't gonna hold every colt and filly we'll have. And it certainly ain't gonna hold you! So... over the course of however long, we're just gonna get you settled into to something proper."
>She sits back down, nodding to herself
>"I already started on that there frame, and you got clothing. I think we're on pretty good track."
>Given how ideal the weather has been, and how soft the sunshine has been, you really haven't ever missed being inside and
"Sure... but something tells me the clothing is more for modesty's sake than warmth."
>"You can take it off if you like."
>"Well you can go without too!"
>Twilight and Applejack reply at the same time
>Then shoot a mutual death glare to each other
"Nice."
>You lean back, sighing
"I guess we'll just have to take it one day at a time then... you're gonna get that letter done, right?"
>Twilight's eyes open wide, as if she forgot
>"O-oh! I admit, I guess I just got carried away. I'll return with Spike in the morning and we'll have our way to Canterlot! You're gonna love it, and they have multiple shops for tourism and more!"
>You could go for a 'I visited Canterlot but all I got was this lousy t-shirt' shirt
"I'll be sure to bring my... uh..."
>"I got you covered, cowpoke."
"Thanks AJ."
>Twilight gets up, but you can see that she really doesn't want to
>"Right... well... I'll go now. Don't go vanishing anywhere, ok? Celestia is not the sort to stand up, and after the letters I've sent to her about you, she's very interested in meeting you."
"You've been sending her letters?! What have you said?"
>"Ok, have a good night, don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
>She farts away in a cloud of purple
>Leaving you alone with Applejack
"Has she always been this..."
>"Weird?"
"Yes."
>"Atypical?"
"Yes."
>"The type who's probably thinking a million things at once?"
"Yes!"
>"Yes."
>AJ gives you a sympathetic nod
>"It takes a long time to get used to. I'll tell you when I've gotten used to it."
"Thanks for being honest on that."
>"Honesty is my element of harmony, sugarcube!"
>She puffs out her chest, full of pride
"Being honest is a... what?"
>"I... I'll tell you later."
>If it turns out Applejack is some Sailor Moon thing, you're going to have to really cut loose on her
>The thought alone causes a physical reaction
"Applejack."
>"Yes, Anon?"
"It's late."
>"Yeah... maybe we should get some sleep..."
"We're going to bed now."
>She stands to attention
>"Yes sir!"
"And I'm going to call you Sailor Apple."
>"A-aye-aye, cap'n!"
>You both stare at each other for a few moments before sprinting off to the mattress
>Though it's very late, it's the perfect time for some considerable stress testing

>You slept good
>You slept real good
>Waking up was another matter
>The first thing you see is a white pony with brilliant gold armor
>And the most confused grey eyes
>You're used to seeing ponies
>But you don't think this guy's used to seeing you
>You blink
>He blinks
"Yo."
>"WAAAGH!"
>He stumbles back, letting out a panicked scream
>That's enough to wake up Applejack, who's half under you
>Her head darts up, eyes still mostly closed
>"Whu?! Wussat?"
>Another pony, donned in the same armor, trots up
>"Good morning there! Princess Celestia requires an audience with you!"
>Same really fancy type of armor
>And centurion helmets too
>You get of of Applejack, covering yourself with a pillow
>And part of her with another pillow
"Celestia?"
>"Yes, uh..."
>He looks over you, still a little confused by your sausage fingers and small face
>"Sir..."
>He steadies himself and stands at attention
>"It has been told that this appointment is the highest priority in Equestria, and that..."
>He can't help himself as he looks at you
>And at Applejack
>"How in the world do you even..."
>He mutters but shakes his head
>Equestrian military at it's finest
>"Sorry, and that any requirements you have will be met! Please, follow us to our chariot. Princess Celestia told us that you were a large creature so you will be using her personal chariot to travel by air to Canterlot. Specifically, our Princess's castle."
>It's a lot to take in but Applejack seems on board
>"Alright Anon, we're set up! With these two fellas flying us there, we'll be there in no time! And in a fancy chariot befitting of Princess Celestia herself... talk about rolling out the red carpet."
>You watch her shake herself awake and hop out of bed
"Flying? In a chariot?"
>The first soldier trots back up, his initial terror finally subsided
>"That's right, sir! We're pegasi!"
>As if to show off, he pushes his chest out and his wings spread wide
>And smacks the second guard's helmet, nearly knocking it off
>"Ack...! Sorry, Duty..."
"Duty?"
>The more professional pony, also a pegasus now that you notice, backs away and fixes his helmet
>"Yes sir. Tireless Duty. With me is-"
>"High Morale!"
>You watch the two
>That armor really does not look like it's light
>Despite how serious it is, and that you're genuinely one step closer to going home, you can't help but focus on one singular thing
"Heh... duty."
>Duty looks at you with a perplexed look
>Morale stands there for a second before he snickers and nods
>"Ha. Duty... nice."
>Evidently this isn't the first time Mr. Duty has been notified of this unfortunate
>"Yes... yes it is nice. Please gather what you need and meet us at the front of the property."
>He gives a curt nod and trots off
>Morale follows shortly after, snorting every few steps
"Well... that was a thing."
>"Thing, nothing! Come, on let's get dressed and let's go!"
"Wait, what about breakfast? What's this about flying? In the air?"
>"Horse feathers, Celestia will give us a breakfast worthy of kings! Let's go!"
>She gallops around you before going off to join the guards
>The chariot is in view, sure enough
"Ah... shit..."
>Deciding that you've already committed to all of this, you quickly get dressed and follow after the trio
>Only when you reach the chariot do you really understand how big it is
>Applejack whistles, nodding
>"This sure is an honor, Anon. Just don't fall off, ok? It might be one of those little social faux pas situations if you do."
>Realizing that you probably won't be a mere few inches off the ground, your face goes pale
"...guys, do we need to fly?"
>Morale, having hooked himself up to the front of the chariot, nods
>"That is correct, sir! It'll be over before you know it!"
"That's what I'm afraid of..."
>"Oh come on, you've done worse I'm sure!"
"Yes, but none of it challenged man's place regarding altitude."
>Shaking her hind end twice like a cat, Applejack springs up onto the chariot
>"Aha! See, it ain't nothin'!"
>God damn it
>You can't exactly puss out at this point
"Alright... fucking flying horses, I swear..."
>Using the ornate side as an improvised step-ladder, you climb onto the chariot
>On your stomach
>Applejack snorts with a smirk
>"Come on now, you really gonna show the world how awesome you are by laying down like that?"
"Shut up!"
>Your voice cracks, you're so confident in yourself
>"Are we ready, sir? Once we start, we aren't stopping until we've made it!"
"Just... just give me a second, alright?!"
>You grumble and ascend to a kneeling position
>You brace yourself by grabbing onto front fancy metalwork, effectively anchoring yourself to it for better or worse
"Alright, let's go!"
>"You're such a weirdo sometimes, Anon..."
>"Roger that, sir! You can trust us, we've only crashed once!"
"WHAT?!"
>Instead of answering, the pair blast off into a full gallop
>Your knuckles turn white as it picks up speed
"Applejack I gotta say this quick because if they crash and I die, I'm done. Listen, I-"
>As fast as you can speak, you don't manage to finish before they take flight
>The chariot smoothly glides off the ground until you're off of the earth entirely
>And then it continues until you're eye level with the top of the trees in the orchard
>And then it continues until you're twice as high up than even the highest tree
"I laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
>"Anon?"
>"Anon, you ok?"
>"We're here!"
>You're pretty sure you screamed the entire way
>You feel worse now than Twilight ever made you feel
>Hearing Applejack cheer and hoot and holler didn't help
>Fighting your painfully stiff muscles, you poke your head up from over the front of the chariot
"Woah..."
>You can see that you're up in the mountains
>Not just that, but you're so far above most of this Canterlot place
>The two guards that flew you here flap up until they're on either side of you
>"Sir, we're... uh... here..."
>"Are you alright? You sure got a pair of lungs on you!"
"Yeah... thanks guys."
>Your voice is just a little hoarse
>It takes a few minutes but you're good to step off of the chariot with little help
>Applejack looks concerned but you assure her that all's fine
>As fine as can be, given you were sure that you were going to spend entire minutes falling to your death, Crank style
>The two metal-clad pegasi take their posts on both sides of a large, rounded entrance
>"Man... last time I was here, I really wasn't payin' that much attention to the scenery. It sure is nice, ain't it?"
>Talking to her does help take your mind off of the worryingly strong breeze that comes with such high altitude
"Yeah... breathtaking in the most real way."
>She seems to know the place better than you so you let her lead
>Inside
>Inside is
>It's a throne room
>An honest to God throne room, complete with sprawling red carpet, dozens of ornate pillars
>With even a series of unique stained glass windows that would put any European cathedral to shame
"Holy... shit..."
>You completely forget yourself for a moment
>After turning around, you feel Applejack poke your knee with her hoof
"What's up?"
>"Anon... Princess Celestia's waiting for us. Let's be a little, uh... proper for a bit?"
>You stop in mid-spin and look at the end of the red carpet
>Sure enough, a very large white horse is sitting on a throne
>Even from where you are, you can see that she has quite a sizable horn on her
>As if she could tell that you were gawking at her, she spreads the largest pair of wings you've seen yet
"W... what is she?"
>"Princess Celestia is an alicorn, Anon. She's been leading pony kind for over a thousand years now. Now don't run, just walk."
"But it's a long walk..."
>"Tough cookie, sugarcube, that's how this royalty thing works."
>You stay focused on Celestia while walking, finding yourself manually keeping your stride
>Only when you reach the foot of the stairs up to the throne do you stop
>"Hello, Anonymous. Welcome to Equestria. Welcome to Canterlot castle."
>Don't say something smart
>"Hey there."
>Your leg jerks from Applejack kicking you
>Right in the bruised shin, no less
>"Good morning, Princess Celestia! I'm honored you wanted to call us, him, here!"
"Yes! Yes, good morning to you, Princess. Celestia. I'm... yeah, I'm completely speechless by your... generosity."
>The stoic face she had quickly melts to a smile
>She went from very much turning her nose up at you to leaning her face down
>Is she smiling
>"Well good morning to you too, Applejack. I had a feeling that you would be coming with him."
>"W-well of course! You know I ain't gonna let him see you and stuff all alone!"
>Wut
>Why did the entire atmosphere of the room change?
"I-I, uh... you wanted to see me?"
>"Yes I did. I've been watching you, since you first were summoned to our world. You are from another world, so of course you are something... someone... that I would have to keep track of."
"Yeah?"
>A familiar feeling bubbles up within you
"Then what the hell was going on when Twilight was soul fucking me with that magic shit?!"
>Applejack's smile shatters like a mirror dropped from an airplane
>"Anon, language!"
>Celestia nods sympathetically
>"No, he is correct... Twilight did apologize to him, but I feel the need to apologize directly as well. I have allowed her more or less free reign over her studies of the occult. While I did not explicitly agree with her trying to summon a... a 'steamin' demon', I knew that she and her friends would be able to take care of any risk."
>Her smile widens at you
>"And what a risk you've been..."
>That look in her eye
>It freezes your blood
>She knows
>"Twilight is quite... inspired, because of you. Far beyond what I've seen before. Likewise..."
>Her gaze turns to Applejack
>She freezes in place
>"Applejack... my sister has told me of your dreams..."
>You've never seen orange turn to grey before
>But Applejack is getting pretty close to it
>"Y-you know my..."
>Celestia nods
>"Oh my... yes I do. And I must say, you always have been so committed."
>Applejack tries to steady herself
>"T-thank you, Princess Celestia!"
"Dreams? Wait, that's Luna, isn't it? Where is she? I thought I was going to get a lot of help with things. I remember my first few days here and..."
>The wind leaves your sails before you can even set off
"Just... so many people gave me so many different answers."
>"Princess Luna has done what she thought was right. You being here was as much a test for you as it was Twilight."
"Twilight... God damn it, Twilight's been behind nearly everything here!"
>You're finding it more and more difficult to keep your cool, even in front of this world's goddess-emperor
"Where is she? What am I supposed to do with this shit?"
>You want to continue shouting expletives but you don't feel good badmouthing her after everything for some profane reason
>Celestia's smile fades away, showing genuine concern
>"I understand your frustration, Anonymous... it could not have been easy to have been ripped from your world so suddenly. And subject to such... unusual things."
>She inhales before continuing
>"But... it also looks like you've found love here, in Equestria. With one of my most special ponies. The pony that possesses the element of honesty."
>Applejack rubs the side of her neck with her front hoof, trying her best not to smile
>"It is quite a miraculous thing, to find a special somepony."
>She glances to you, before focusing back on Applejack
>"Or somehuman."
>"Well it ain't nothin' Princess, you know we just... well you know!"
>She giggles to herself, unable to keep a straight face
>"Despite this great stroke of luck... I am sorry that I am not unable to undo the pain Twilight Sparkle may have caused. Whether or not you wish to believe that it wasn't intentional, I believe that she did what she believed was right."
>Of course she would defend her
>"...to make up for her mistakes, I come to you both with a question."
"A question?"
>Applejack perks up
>"If you could have any one thing in the world... or worlds, in your case, Anonymous. What would it be?
>"Family!"
>Applejack answers without a pause
>You very nearly answer the same thing
>Actually, you do answer the same way
"My family."
>"I can see why you two fit so well together."
"Celestia-Princess Celestia-I'm not from here... but I don't really want to leave. I would like to stay, if I could."
>"I don't think that would be an issue, Anonymous. A lot of ponies would be quite upset to lose such a unique friend."
>Your head dips to the side as you bring up your hands
"But... my family. My mother. The few belongings I have. If I had just one day to visit my home world, I could bring back what meager possessions I have. I could speak to her, let her know that I'm safe... that maybe she could come with me."
>You feel yourself becoming unusually emotional
"I gotta let her know I'm ok. I can't leave her thinking that I went and died or something. Even if I couldn't bring back so much as a pair of shoes. Could you help me with this? Send her a letter or something?"
>Celestia nods sympathetically
>"I understand you completely... it is a terrible thing to be separated by your parents, or your children."
"Especially with this sort of... situation."
>"Is that your most honest wish?"
>You look down at Applejack
>She nods at you
>You turn back to the large talking alicorn
"Yes. I'm happy to stay here. I do want to start a family. And because family matters, I can't ignore what little family I do have. I couldn't live with myself otherwise."
>"Very well, Anonymous."
>Very well, what?
>Very well, as in "too bad"?
>Celestia stands up and begins to descend the red steps
>When she steps down, you feel something
>You feel
>Underwhelmed
>You can't help but raise your eyebrows at the... not so massive pony
>She's just around eye level with you
"You're... I thought you'd be bigger."
>You blurt out without managing to think it through
>Celestia smirks at you
>"Thankfully you seem as big as Twilight said you were. Her letters are very detailed."
>You step back, utterly stunned
>What in the holiest of hells has Twilight said to her?!
>She walks past you and to one of the massive stained glass
>It's an orange one
>She stops in front of it and leans forward
>The very tip of her horn taps against the mural
>Before your very eyes, the entire mural starts to melt and morph until it becomes some orange-tinted shimmering wall
>"This will take you to where you were, before Twilight brought you here. This portal will remain open for a full twenty four hours. Once it closes... I am afraid that I will not be able to open it again."
>With the entire pane swirling without a sound, she steps back and smiles
>"Applejack, can I trust you to bring Anonymous back home?"
>Applejack, mesmerized by the portal showing an image of your bathroom, sputters
>"O-of course, Princess! I ain't gonna leave his family behind! And I ain't gonna leave my family behind neither! We're gonna combine and grow no matter what! Ain't that right, Anon?"
>You find yourself looking at the portal
>You can get your clothes
>Your stuff
>If you could somehow convince your mom too...
>You might really be able to have everything you could want
>"Anon, don't leave me hanging here1"
"Y-yeah, Applejack... yeah. We're gonna do this, one and done. After that, we can get started on things proper. And, uh..."
>Is this really happening?
"And, uh... yeah.. yeah, why are we wasting time?"
>You hold out your hand to the orange pony
"Ready to see my place? We'll get a timer set, enjoy for a bit... and, well, let's move stuff over. Hope you'll have space for it."
>Romantic focus, Fabio
>Applejack pushes her head against your hand
>"Your stuff ain't gonna be nothin', sugarcube. Before you know it, it'll feel just like home."
>Celestia ascends her steps again, taking her seat on her throne
>"I will watch the clock for you, Anonymous. I trust you won't take any risks."
>It still feels hard to believe that this is real
"Alright... this is gonna be awkward. And it's gonna be weird."
>"I'll be right besides you, Anon. And no matter what, I ain't goin' anywhere if it's away from you."
"Well... alright then. Let's get going."
>You're unable to overcome your nerves
>But you're not alone
>With Applejack, you step into the portal
>You're gonna have a hell of a time trying to explain why you've been fucking a tiny talking pony

Epilogue

>Twilight giggles
>She does that every time she sees you now
>"Good morning! How are we feeling today?"
>You can barely move, same as the last few days
"I'm... I'm feeling better, Miss Twilight."
>"No, please. As I said before, just Twilight is fine. I promise."
"Alright... I'm feeling better, Twilight. But I can't really move."
>"Oh no... well, you are still weak. But look at you, you're doing so much better now!"
>She looks over you, smiling
>Something about her smile makes your skin crawl
>But you know that she's doing this to help you
"When will I be able to walk?"
>"I think... maybe another week. You can speak fine. You can think fine... I think. You really are beautiful. And strong. Celestia bless you."
>Her tone takes on a starved, eager twist
>You start to feel awkward, despite your positive physical reactions
>Something about her tone just affects you
>You don't understand it
"Is it... time for morning draining again?"
>"Oh yes... I'm afraid it is."
"Please don't bite me this time, Twilight."
>"I can't help it if you're so delicious."
>She awkwardly walks over you, sitting her lap down against yours
>You can already feel yourself growing against this feeling of intense heat against your lap
>She takes hold of one of your limp limbs
>She puts your hoof against her chest
>You can feel her heart
>It's beating a mile a minute
>"I won't go easy on you... Anon."


FIN