==08:00==
>your name is Rubidium Auride
>but most folks can't pronounce that
>so you usually tell them your name is Ruby Ring
>for a living, you run a little jewelry shop in Trottingham
>but right now you're taking a break from all that
>currently you're on vacation in the cozy little country village of Ponyville
>it's very nice here
>green grass, fragrant trees, friendly ponies
>it might be improved somewhat if it didn't have a big crystal castle in the middle of it all
>it just clashes with the rustic aesthetic
>but your hotel is very nice as well
>fluffy blankets, hot water, good food
>it even has a telephone
>but you might prefer if that telephone wasn't ringing right now
>the comfy blankets entrap you and hinder your efforts to crawl out of bed
>but eventually you end up in a big heap of fluffy heaven on the hard floor
>you stand up, blankets wrapped around you like a robe, and make your way over to the telephone
>you take the mouthpiece into your magic, and hold your ear near the earpiece
<"Hello?"
/"Ruby? Ruby, is it you?"
>the Germaneian accent tells you that it's that friend of your sister's
>Ary... Arya...
<"Yes, sweetie, it's me. Who is this?"
/"Do not call me sweetie. Zis is Aryanne."
>right, Aryanne
<"Ah yes, it's very good to talk with you, sweetie, but I simply can't make any more of those little gold emblems for you right now. I'm on vacation."
/"Listen to me, Ruby. Listen well. Your life may be in grave danger."
>if you remember correctly, Aryanne is a bit of a conspiracy theorist
>better to humor her
<"Oh?"
/"Ja! Mein scientists have conducted experiments indicating that you will die before the day is over!"
>what kind of experiments would tell you something like that?
<"Oh, I see. Well, thank you very much for the warning, sweetie. I'll be sure to keep it in mind."
/"Stop calling me sweetie. Do you understand the gravity of your situation?"
<"Yes, yes, very much so. I'm very grateful. I shall take the appropriate measures straight away. Thank you very much."
>with that, the phone is hung up
>you stretch your flank and groan
>well, as long as you're already up, you may as well get your day started
>you figure you'll start with some fresh country air
>did you mention your room comes with a balcony?
>because it does
>a fancy sliding-glass door yields to you and grants you passage to the outside world
>the sunshine gently carresses your cheek
>a cool breeze tickles your nose
>and something heavy smashes into your head

==08:00==
>what a peculiar dream you've just had
>you snuggle deeper into the blankets and go over every detail in your mind
>it was a very vivid dream
>you won't be getting back to sleep after that one
>so you get up, make your way to the lavatory, and begin your morning hygiene
>you're brushing your mane when the telephone starts ringing
>the noise startles you, and a jerking motion causes the brush to get stuck in a tangle
>you sigh and answer the phone
<"Ruby speaking~"
/"Listen to me, Ruby. Listen well. Your life may be in grave danger."
>some invisible being rubs ice cubes along your spine
<"O-oh?"
/"Ja! Mein scientists have conducted experiments indicating that you will die before the day is over!"
>something is screaming silently into your ears
<"Excuse me, sweetie. Do you mind if I check something for a moment?"
/"I have told you before, do not call me sweetie! And do you not understand the gravity of your situation?"
<"When did you tell me not to call you sweetie?"
/"Vh-vhat?"
>you drop the earpiece and step out into your balcony
>the sunshine feels menacingly hot
>the cool breeze seems ominous
>you look up
>is it a flower pot?
>you don't really have time to tell before it breaks your neck

==08:00==
>you're ruining the fluffy blankets with your sweat and tears
>so you get up and wait by the phone
>almost the instant it rings, you're shouting into it
<"What's going on?"
/"Ruby, mein freund. It's Aryanne. Listen. Your life-"
<"Is in grave danger, your scientists, blah blah blah, I'm going to die today, yes?"
/"Um, yes. Vhat is happen?"
>you explain to Aryanne what's happened since you woke up the first time
/"I see, I see. Very interesting. So you get multiple chances."
<"Do you know what's going on? Can you help me?"
/"I think I can. Listen well:"
>Aryanne explains the rules of the game to you as best she can:

1. Every story update represents one hour
2. At every hour, there will be at least one choice which will result in your death.
2. If you can make it to midnight, you win.
3. If you die, in-story you'll wake up at 8 in the morning again, but unless you specify that you want to do something differently, the day will be skimmed over til you respawn at the last hour you completed.
4. You have until OP goes to bed on Sunday to make it to midnight.
5. Don't stay in any one place too long.

>you thank Aryanne for the information, exchange parting words, and hang up
>don't stay in any one place too long?
>well that should be easy, all you have to do is carry on like a normal tourist then
>you mull over your options as you brush your mane
>maybe you should get some breakfast?
>or try to meet famous ponies?
>a loud clattering noise outside lets you know that there is now a pile of dirt and shattered terra cotta on the balcony


==09:00==
>you don't exactly have an appetite right now
>well, how about meeting some famous ponies then?
>that was part of your original purpose in this town, wasn't it?
>the most obvious place to look for famous ponies in Ponyville would be the big ugly crystal castle
>well there's your first destination then
>as soon as you look presentable, you head out into the longest day of your life
>you spot the castle immediately
>seriously, it's about three times as big as any other building in this town and the only crystal structure in a village of wooden walls and thatched rooftops
>the path there is lined with ominous dangers such as happily singing birds and townsfolk cheerily saying hello
>hey, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you
>fortunately, the walk there is uneventful
>as you get closer, you make out an unusual yet familiar sight
>it's Anonymous
>it'd be hard to miss him, since he's a big, tall... something
>you don't really remember what he is, but he's the only one
>you met him a while back in Trottingham, he said he was doing some soul-searching by taking a grand Equestrian tour
>he did mention something about how he'd lived with Princess Twilight at one point
>was he back now?
>when he'd left Trottingham, the two of you had been on very good terms
>oh, could he help you meet the Princess?
>moreover, he's the closest thing you have to a friend in this town, and it could be very helpful to recruit him as an extra pair of eyes
>you stick your hoof in the air, ready to wave
>and then you bring it back down
>hold on a moment
>Anonymous is a bit of a rough-houser, and something of a klutz besides
>today might not be a good day to greet the big beast
>maybe you should sneak past him to see if you can't meet Princess Twilight at Friendship Court?
>if you told her about your problem, she might be able to help
>or maybe it would just be safest to try some other famous pony and try the Princess later


==10:00==
>okay, let's go somewhere else right now
>you've always heard that you look exactly like one of Twilight's friends
>Rarity?
>yeah, Rarity
>and if you're not mistaken, she's in a similar line of work as you
>she runs a few clothing shops around Equestria, here and Canterlot and somewhere else too you think
>mmm, opening a shop in Canterlot would be nice
>hey, since a stress-free vacation is out of the question anyway, you may as well take some time to learn the art of making money
"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBYYYYYYYYYY!"
>oh dear
>you've been standing in plain sight this whole time
>it seems you've been spotted
>the big, bipedal monster is running straight for you
>you attempt to gallop away, but to no avail
>his otherworldly appendages grab you underneath your forelegs and hoist you high into the air
>and, to your horror, you're tossed high into the air
<"Stop! Stop! Stopstopstopstop!"
>he doesn't seem to hear you over the sound of his own babbling, as he catches you, and throws you again
"I didn't know you were town! Did you come here just for me? Come here, lemme snuggle you! Lemme boop your nose! Who's a good lil horsie?"
>you shriek and flail your marshmallow hooves around, to no avail as you're tossed again
>but he misses the catch
>you're headed for the ground head-first!
>OH NO NO NO NO

==09:00==
>you've woken up, exchanged the morning pleasantries with Aryanne, and now you're outside
>you have got to come up with a better contingency plan for Anonymous encounters than hiding and running away
>he gets off on that
>maybe get the drop on ''him'' next time?
>anyway, it ended being a bit convenient going back to the hotel
>you were able to ask the mare at the front desk where Rarity's shop was
>it's called the Carousel Boutique, and it's not far
>do you still want to go there, or do something else?


==10:00==
>of course you still want to meet Rarity
>you certainly don't want to wait around here too long
>hmm
>but somehow you'd feel safer if you were less recognizable
>maybe if you could just…
>a turquoise aura flickers at the top of your peripheral vision
>that should do it
>you pull your mane in front of your eyes
>and it's dark purple
<"This ought to work."
>for a moment it flickers back to red
<"Or not."
>you were never especially powerful with magic
>well, as long as it's purple most of the time
>that should be sufficient to throw off big dumb friendly monsters
>better stick to the shade just to safe though
>fortunately, not much happens on the way to the Boutique
>you do get a few odd looks from townsponies though
>maybe an out-of-town mare with a flickering mane slinking through the shadows isn't as inconspicuous as you'd hoped
>in retrospect, humming a tune that sounds like it's from a spy film was probably unhelpful too
>you're forced to slither forth from the darkness to approach the clothing shop
>the sign reads OPEN
>so, you walk right in
>and you look the manager straight in the eyes
>and you freeze
>so does she
>you cock your head
>so does she
>she touches her nose
>so do you
>it's like she's a perfect recolor of yourself
>what do you say to this incredible creature?


==11:00==
<"I really, really like your mane."
>Rarity reaches out and grabs a lock of your hair
>she pulls in toward her face and inhales deeply
>it's fully red again, indicating that your disguise spell has worn off prematurely
<"U-um…"
>Rarity releases your mane and stares into your eyes
>"I like your mane too."
<"Oh, um, thank you."
>"What do you use in it, darling? It's so soft!"
<"Um…"
>what do you use in it?
>it's just some generic stuff
<"Oh, you know, just some shampoo from the supermarket."
>"What?!"
>with that, Rarity clambers past your neck and down your back, and throws her hooves around your flank
>you'd run away right now, but your legs don't seem to function
>also she's kind of heavy
>"Why, but that's impossible. darling! Look at your cutie mark, surely you work in the industry!"
<"The industry?"
>"The fashion industry, you silly girl!"
<"Oh, well, I do run a little jewelry shop in Trottingham."
>"I knew it!"
>at long last, Rarity slides off of you
>she takes your face in her hooves, her own hovering mere inches from yours
>"A fellow fashion entrepreneur using supermarket shampoo? Unthinkable! Unacceptable! You'll ruin your lovely mane! I cannot allow this to go on any longer!"
>she releases her grip on your face and engages in a moment of deep thought
>"I know just what to do! As of this moment, you are my apprentice! Your first lesson shall be a trip to the spa! While we are there, we shall pick out a proper hair care product for you and discuss our experiences in the world of fashion!"
>Rarity's magic engulfs your plot and pushes you toward the door
>"Sweetie Belle! Do mind the shop for me while I'm gone! I'm taking my dear friend…"
<"R-Ruby"
>"I'm taking my dear friend Ruby to the spa!"
>"Let us go, post haste, post haste!"
>in this moment, your belly releases a tremendous growl
>this is enough to shake Rarity from her frenzy
>indeed, she seems almost like an ordinary, not manic pony when she asks
>"Oh, unless you'd like to stop someplace for lunch first. I know all the finest eateries in town!"
>hm, you did skip breakfast, didn't you?


==12:00==
<"Mmm, maybe just a quick bite."
>"Ooh, eager to start your education, are we?"
<"Sure."
>"There is one place that's both stylish and quick. It's a delightful little seafood cafe called Caviar. ''Bon oui?''"
<"Mm, yes, sounds good."
>"Come, come along then. The day is young!"
>actually, it's about half over
>praise the Sun
>on the way to the cafe, you and Rarity make some small talk that you've already forgotten by the time you sit down
>as promised, a waiter is with you in no time at all
>a tall, swarthy stallion, his eyepatch and gold tooth clashing with his neat suit-vest
>"Welcome to Caviarghh. I be your waiter, Swarthy Swordfish. How be ye fine ladies on this fine day?"
>Rarity makes some inarticulate giggling noise
<"Delighted, sweetie."
>the waiter's eye fixes onto you
>"I say, lass, is that a Trottingham accent?"
>you give him a fluttering blink, hoping maybe he'll give you a discount if you work your charms right
<"Why, yes it is."
>"Aye? I be from the old city meself. You look right familiar ta me. Did we ever meet up there?"
<"I'm sorry to say I don't recall, sweetie."
>his eye twitches at the "sweetie"
>"Hmm… But mayhaps ye have a kinspony I ken? A sister perhaps?"
<"Ah, I do have a sister. She's not usually in the country though. She's something of a… sailor."
>"sailor" is a technically correct way of putting it
>but "terrorist" might be technically correct too
>hey, as long as it's in international waters, you don't have to say anything
>"I see, I see. Well, in that case, what would you ladies like to eat today?"
>Rarity pipes up
>"Ooh! I'd like the kelp sandwich, please."
>the waiter smiles a big wide smile at you
>"And fer you, miss?"
>the menu isn't particularly large
>it seems there aren't a whole lot of options for herbivores when it comes to seafood
>you're somewhat torn between the seaweed veggie roll, the plankton bread, and the algae soup


==13:00==
<"I think.. I'll have the seaweed wrap."
>"Oh, that's a right excellent choice, Miss. Your meals'll be out in 40 knots."
>you're pretty sure he used "knots" incorrectly
>unless he meant it would be out fast, like 40 knot winds?
>hmm…
>Rarity is going on about hair care products
>you're waiting for an opening to ask about how opening her shop in Canterlot went
>but she just won't shut up
>"And of course they have color-preserving shampoos as well, so you don't have to get that lovely red color redone every month."
>that breaks your train of thought
>your hoof caresses your mane defensively
<"What? No. I'm a natural redhead."
>"Oh! Apologies, darling, it just… goes so well with your coat and your eyes I thought it had to be on purpose."
>this bitch
>the food comes out quickly
>you don't really realize that Swarthy Swordfish gives you a long wink as he sets your seaweed veggie wrap on the table
<"Well, that's quite all right then, sweetie."
>like an automatic machine, your horn picks up your seaweed wrap and places it in your mouth
>thoughtlessly, you bite down
>your thoughts return to you when you feel something crawling in your mouth
>why does the Sun think you deserve this?
>your mouth goes wide open and your tongue flies out for you to frantically brush at it with your hooves
>oh, it's spiders
>scorpions
>snakes
>you look down to see the latest entry in a day packed full of untimely deaths for you and behold:
>harmless, fuzzy caterpillars?
>somebody laughs maniacally in a downtown Trottingham accent
>Rarity shrieks and magically picks up her knife
>"Bugs! Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross! Gross! Gross!"
>the knife stabs randomly into the table, puntuating each exclamation of "Gross!"
<"Oh, no no no no no, calm down, calm do-"
>annnnd the knife is in your throat
>you try your best to glare at her as you slip away
>but you're pretty sure she doesn't notice as she proceeds to shriek even louder

==12:00==
>this time you called Aryanne, just to get it out of the way faster
>you still ended up going to Rarity's boutique though
>what? just because she killed you doesn't mean she doesn't still present business opportunities
>this time you took a few measures to keep her from getting too intimate, including nimbly evading her attempt to grab your plot
>she probably means well
>probably
>"There is one place that's both stylish and quick. It's a delightful little seafood cafe called Caviar. ''Bon oui?''"
>maybe you should tell her you don't like seafood
>or maybe just say you're not hungry?


==13:00==
<"I'm ah... allergic to seafood."
>"Oh. Well, I'm not quite sure where to go then."
<"Is there someplace we can just pick up some tea and sandwiches perhaps?"
>Rarity holds her hoof to her chin
>"Ah-ha! I know just what to do! My good friend Fluttershy usually has some tea and sandwiches ready. We can go and visit her, and, ah! We can invite her to the spa with us! Doesn't that sound lovely? Fluttershy is a real dear, I just know you'll love her!"
>Fluttershy is another famous pony, right?
<"That sounds perfect."
>"It's a bit of a walk, I hope you don't mind."
<"Not at all. It's gorgeous out."
>actually, it was gorgeous out this morning
>now it's kind of hot
>at least, that's the way it seems to a mare from the city of grey skies and rain
>Rarity keeps remarking that this is why you must pick out higher quality hair care products
>you're not entirely sure what "this" is, but a damp lock of red hair in your eyes gives you a general idea
>finally, you make it to a tiny little cottage outside of town
>Rarity knocks on the door and cheerily greets a yellow pegasus
>"Fluttershy darling, this is Ruby. I'm showing her the ropes of the fashion industry. I was wondering if we might stop by for some tea and sandwiches, and if perhaps you would like to join us at the spa afterwards."
>Fluttershy beams a heartwarming grin
>"Not at all! I was actually just making some."
>Fluttershy turns her benevolent gaze upon you
>"How do you do, Ruby?"


==14:00==
>play it safe?
>play it safe
<"Hello, Fluttershy. It's a pleasure to meet you."
>somehow this simple greeting erases Fluttershy's composure
>"Oh, um, likewise."
>she nervously extends a trembling hoof, presumably for a hoofshake
>you take it
>and, how can you resist?
>you kiss it
<"Your mane and good looks are simply stunning, sweetie."
>"Eep!"
>Fluttershy yanks her hoof back and hides behind her stylish mane
>Rarity squeals and giggles and swats at your mane
>"Ruby, you devil, don't tease poor Fluttershy like that!"
>Rarity coaxes Fluttershy out of the shadows
>"It's okay, darling. She didn't mean it."
>"Oh... sh-she didn't?"
<"Well, I do think your mane looks nice."
>she perks up considerably at this
>"Oh, why thank you!"
>why does that make you uneasy?
>probably because everything is making you uneasy today
>relax
>Rarity cheers
>"Right, so, just a quick stop to eat, and then we can all head to the spa!"
>one sandwich break later, and you're walking to the spa with two bona fide famous ponies like you've been friends for years
>the conversation is fun, but it might be improved somewhat if Fluttershy understood the concept of "personal space"
>but sure enough, you eventually get there
>no sooner than you're let in by a couple of spa attendants does Rarity force your gaze upon a wall full of unintelligible plastic bottles
>"Now, it's very important that you pick out something that works for you before you begin."
>you stare at the wall
<"Uhh..."
>"Hm, let me narrow down your options a bit."
>Rarity zips around the wall like some kind of spider and returns with a three bottles
>the first one is described as a red color preserver
>didn't you already explain to her that you were a natural red?
>oh wait, you died after that
>the second is described as a pheremone blend designed to enhance feminine charm
>Fluttershy points at it
>"I think you should use that one."
>the third one was made with some sort of magical ingredients
>"Guaranteed to make your mane shine like the Sun itself!(tm)"
>not a very catchy slogan
>hm...
>which one seems right here?


==15:00==
>you look around
>no big bipedal monsters
>no earth pony little sisters
>no white-haired assistants
>nobody here but strangers
>okay
>so your hoof touches the...
>...pheremone blend
>Fluttershy gasps
>Rarity hums
>"Hmm, trying to be discreet, are we? I see. Aloe?"
>an attendant with a rag on her head zips over
>Rarity forks the bottle over to her with conspiratory motions
>"Get my friend Ruby ready for treatment with some of... this. Discretion. Is. Advised."
>Aloe nods and takes you by the hoof into a room with a padded table
>"Please lie here, miss Ruby."
>is Aryanne in the room?
>you climb up onto the table and make yourself comfortable on your belly
<"Say, are you from Germaneia?"
>a squirt of liquid splatters your mane
>"No. I was born in Geneighva."
>hooves begin massaging your scalp
<"Urgh. Ah."
>"Is that... tension. In your scalp?"
<"Uhh..."
>Aloe chuckles
>"I usually don't feel anything like zis above the neck. It seems you're under a great deal of stress."
<"Well... today has been a bit... eventful."
>"Oh my, what happened?"
>well gee
>you did die about four times
<"Oh, I can't really talk about- ah!"
>the hooves are on your neck now
>immediately, pleasure and pain stab your consciousness as the skilled masseuse turns your knotted flesh into jelly
<"Eghhhheghhhhhh..."
>"Zis may take a bit a longer than I anticipated. Do you mind if you're a bit late joining your friends in the bath?"
<"Noooot... aaaat... aaallll..."
>for the next hour
>pleasure becomes pain
>pain becomes pleasure
>reality becomes illusion
>oblivion becomes the universe
>you're pretty sure there's drool on your chin
>after about a thousand years, Aloe taps you on the cheek
>"All done, Miss Ruby. Your friends are waiting for you."
>you float on a cloud out of the room and into another room with a large bath full of steaming water
>Rarity claps her hooves
>"There you are! You look so much better! A few more visits and you might even have those split ends healed!"
>split ends?
>this bitch
>you can't help but notice that her mane is a bit excessively shiny
>and is Fluttershy's mane... just a touch redder?
>"Oh, come in, come in! An hour in here and you'll positively glow! It's important to look your best in the industry, you know. Nobody takes fashion advice from somebody who doesn't look like she takes care of herself."
>she means well
>she means well
>she means well
>gingerly, you lower yourself into the water
>your muscles relax even further and you almost collapse
>oh, drowning in three feet of water would be embarrassing
>even worse, you'd have to live with it afterwards
>you balance yourself out
>Rarity claps again
>"Oh! Do you know what would be simply perfect? Juice! With little umbrellas! Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!"
>with that, Rarity is gone
>you're alone in the bath with Fluttershy
>she's staring at you with her big, watery eyes
>oh geez
>maybe you should say something to make this a little less awkward


==16:00==
>hmmm
>you did see a lot of birdhouses at Fluttershy's cottage
>and a chicken coop
>and a pig pen
>and plenty of great big piles of dung
>it's a pretty safe bet…
<"So, do you like animals?"
>Fluttershy squeaks, and pauses
>and then smiles
>"Why, yes. Is there something you wanted to ask?"
<"Umm…"
>well, as long as she's answering questions about animals
>maybe you can get some advice for Red's birthday present
<"Um, how hardy are parrots, exactly?"
>in a little bit she has you convinced that the scarlet macaw is the bird to buy for a combination of intelligence, color, and intimidation
>the "intimidation" question was met with a puzzled look
>in short time, Rarity returns levitating three glasses of juice, sure enough, with little umbrellas
>she's also got a newspaper
>after settling in the bath and passing out the drinks, Rarity unfolds the newspaper and reads
>"If one 'Ruby Ring' will come to the post office, she may find information of advantage to her."
>Rarity shows you where that is in the classifieds
>"That wouldn't happen to be you, would it?"
<"Probably."
>"Would you like to go and find out about that? I can show where the post office is, if you'd like."
>well
>you've been at the spa for a couple hours now
>it might be about time to leave
>and a little advantageous information would be nice, especially today
>but what if it's a trap?
>well, it's probably not a trap, but you never know what might get you killed when there's a death curse
>and the water is still so nice…


==17:00==
>oh it better be from Aryanne
>oh it better be a cure for all this
<"I think I should probably check that out."
>"Mm, good idea. I can take you there. Fluttershy, are you coming?"
>Fluttershy looks at you
>then back at the water
>"I-I'm not quite ready to leave yet…"
>you and Rarity say goodbye to Fluttershy and towel off
>you're just about to walk out of the bath when a blue pegausus with a rainbow mane walks in cheerfully
>she takes one look at Rarity and wheels around
>but the door glows blue and slams in her face
>oh, oh, she's a famous pony too!
>one of the Princess's friends, right?
>or is she on that sports team?
>Ren… something?
>Rarity approaches her like some sort of predatory animal
>"Rainbow Dash! Going so soon?"
>right, Rainbow Dash
>Rainbow Dash fidgets and squirms and smiles and frowns
>"I-I wasn't here for the bath or anything! I-I was just… just!"
>Rarity smirks
>"I was just here to let you know about the fireworks tonight!"
>Rarity's barrage of smug lets up
>"Fireworks? What ever for?"
>"I dunno, Pinkie Pie just found some today and wants to blow them up. Everyone's gonna be there. So, if you'll ex-cuuuse me-"
>the door remains barred by Rarity's magic
>"Well Rainbow, even though you definitely did not come here for the bath, as long as you're here, could you do me one teensy weensy little favor?"
>Rainbow groans
>"You see, I have to take my friend here to the post office, and we're leaving poor poor Fluttershy over there all alone. Would you be a dear and keep her company for me?"
>Rainbow Dash's nose scrunches up
>"F-fine…"
>Rarity plants air-kisses on Rainbow Dash's currently-pink cheeks
>"Thank you so much, darling. Toodles~!"
>you follow Rarity out of the spa as she hysterically laughs her way across the lobby
>once you get outside, she wipes the tears from her eyes
>"Oh, ah, ehehehehe, hum. Right, it should be, ah, this way."
>Rarity resumes her giggles as she explains the feminine shortcomings of Rainbow Dash
>you can sort of understand why it's funny
<"Oh, my sister would be just the same way. She won't go near any water that isn't salty. I'll have to try that on her next time she comes home."
>fond memories of using your magic for the purpose of sisterly bullying resurface at the thought
>"Oh, right, right, you mentioned she was something of a sailor."
>what?
>didn't you die after that?
<"When did I mention that?"
>"Hm? Oh, um, I'm not sure. Anyway, here we are."
<"Ah, so we are."
>a momentary burst of paranoia causes you to hold the door open and allow Rarity to enter before you
>you head in after her and call out
<"Did someone put out an advertisement for Ruby Ring?"
>a post office worker looks up from a magazine to glare at you
>she makes some sort of grunting sound and disappears
>she returns clutching a package by a strand of twine with her teeth
<"Thank you."
>you take the package and examine it
>the return address bears the name "Red Beard"
>damnit, you keep telling her that "Beard" isn't a clever nickname like "Ring" is
>ponies are just going to think she's a stallion
<"Oh, it's from my sister."
>"Ooh, what's inside?"
<"Let's find out."
>the salt-worn, sun-faded cardboard yields easily to your magic
>inside, covering everything else up, is a note
~"Sup, sis? Aryanne told me to get rid of this for a little while, so I figured I'd send it to you for appraisal. Is this thing worth anything? I'll come by to pick it up next time I come home. In the meanwhile you can use it as a display piece or something, just don't sell it. Love ya, XOXO."
>damnit
>this was to Red's advantage, not yours
>under the note is a little barnacle-encrusted chest


==18:00==
>you open it
>inside is something bizarre
>actually, it appears to be an ordinary gold choker with an ordinary ruby embedded in it
>but years of jeweling tell you that something is off about it
>but what?
>"Oh, how sweet! Does she often send you jewelry from her travels?"
<"Uh, yes, actually."
>you're not really focusing on what Rarity is saying
>you pick up the choker with your magic
>and it attacks your throat!
>you prepare to wake up in the hotel bed again
>oh you made it so long this time too
>now you'll have to redo all of it
>whyyyyyyyy
>oh, wait
>you hear fireworks starting to go off
>you're still in the post office
>all it did was put itself on
<"Oh, that's interesting."
>you go to take it off
<"Oh, that's very interesting."
>"What is?"
<"It won't come off."
>"Oh, here, let me try."
>Rarity zaps at the back of the choker
>to no avail
<"Hmm… I think it's magical."
>"Well, we could always take it to Twilight Sparkle. She's good with magical problems like this. If Rainbow Dash was right, she should be at the fireworks right now."
>the post office worker barks at you
>"Well wherever you twose goes, just clear outta here in the next five minutes! We're closin'!"
>oh dear
>what do you fear more?
>explosives?
>or evil magical jewelry?


==19:00==
>mmmmmmmmm
>what's more painful?
>getting blown up?
>or getting decapitated?
>or what if Anonymous is at the fireworks?
>"You know, it doesn't look all that bad on you. Kind of ''naughty''..."
>you let out a little shriek
<"I think I'd like to ask Princess Twilight for help!"
>outside the post office, you head toward the fireworks blowing up over the big ugly crystal castle
>it looks even more out-of-place at night
>Rarity catches up to you
>"Wait, Ruby, listen, all I'm saying is that this might not be such a bad thing. Between that choker and the pheremone shampoo-"
>you shriek again
<"I'm going to get raped!"
>"Well, that's not ''quite'' what I was thinking. Unless that's what you're into."
>you shriek and break into a gallop
>reaching the courtyard, you plow into the first purple pony you see
>wait a second, who the hell is this slut?
>her purple is too pinkish, and she's an ordinary unicorn
<"Where is Twilight Sparkle?!"
>"T-Twilight is..."
>someone taps you on the shoulder
>"I'm right here. What do you need?"
>you take a split second to note how bizarre she looks with those oversized wings and that elongated neck
>and then you cling to her foreleg and weep
<"Please help me I don't want to get raped!"
>Rarity gallops in after you, out of breath
>"Ruby! There you are!"
>"Rarity! What did you do to this mare? Why is she crying about rape?!"
>"What? Nothing! I did nothing!"
>"Why does her mane look like yours then?"
>"I-it's pure coincidence! She's upset because that choker attached itself to her and won't come off."
>"Choker?"
>Twilight's hoof props up your chin for a better view of your neck
>"That's a curse detector."
>you recoil; you've been found out!
<"C-curse?"
>"Curse. If you know anything, you should tell me so I can help you. Has anything else strange happened today?"


==20:00==
>okay
>fine
>you'll tell her
>she takes you inside the hideous castle along with Rarity and the slut you tackled
>you explain the basic gist of your day thus far
>all 29 hours of it
>Rarity contributes useful details as well:
>"I could have sworn it was dyed!"
>Twilight taps her chin
>"That's an interesting curse. A powerful one too. That would have to be tied to an item. Can you think of anything you've recently handled that may have been cursed?"
>well gee
>any one of the hundreds of ill-gotten pieces of jewelry Red has given you to sell might have been cursed
>actually, if Aryanne told Red to get rid of the curse detector...
>is Red having this problem right now too?
>damnit
<"It's possible that I've handled a few cursed items recently."
>"Is there a chance that you might have any of them with you right now?"
<"No."
>she frowns deeply, but resigns
>"Well, that'll make this a bit more difficult, but I may still be able to help you."
>it's like a great weight has been removed from your shoulders
<"Really?"
>"Mhm!"
>she taps at a page in a spellbook
>"With this spell right here, there's a 75% chance that the curse will be lifted and the curse detector will just fall off!"
<"What's the other 25%?"
>"There's a 24% chance that you'll be vaporized, in which case, you know, no big deal, you can just come back here and try again."
>75+24
>now you're not a genius
>but that doesn't equal 100
<"What's that last 1%?"
>"Oh, it's, um, well, you know."
>she smiles at you
>"That the curse will be lifted, but... 
<"But what?"
>"But you'll be vaporized too."
>oh
<"In which case..."
>oh dear
>"You don't come back."


==21:00==
>you stare at your hooves for a good minute
>but you already know the answer
<"I'll risk it."
>Twilight puts her hoof on yours
>"All right. If you'd stand away from everyone else, I'll get the spell ready."
>you don't want to be stuck in a death curse time loop forever
>you don't want to find out if you can run out of chances
>this is the right choice
>it has to be
>Twilight stands opposite the room from you in the center of a glowy, magic circle
>"Are you ready?"
<"I-I guess"
>wow
>for potential last words, you'd think you could have sounded a bit more…
>determined or something
>everything gets really bright, and really loud
>everything gets really dark, and really quiet

==08:00==
>the sensation of soft light and fluffy blankets would be welcome in any other situation
<"FUCK"
>you pound at the hotel bed
>the springy mattress sends your hoof back into your face
<"Ow!"
>you flop out of bed
>no sooner are you on the floor than the telephone starts ringing
>you pick it up
<"Aryanne, you kraut slut, you tell me if my sister is involved in this death curse right now!"
/"V-vhat?"
>the flowerpot shatters on the balcony
<"FUCK"
>you drop the earpiece
>throwing the sliding door to the balcony open, you storm outside
>and you promptly throw youself over the guardrails, down 5 stories, and straight into…

==08:00==
>…bed
<"Urrgghh…"
>you were three hours from freedom
>the telephone is ringing


==09:00==
>you pick up the phone one last time
<"I know, I know. I'm getting it fixed right now."
>now, onto that beautiful, hideous, crystal palace
>Twilight said you could just try again if the spell failed
>and try again you shall
>the Sun gently strokes your mane as you trot merrily across the cozy little village of Ponyville toward freedom at last
>as you approach the castle, you become gladder and gladder
>so glad, in fact, that it fails to register in your brain when you walk right past a big, friendly monster named Anonymous
>you're about to knock on the great crystal door when you realize, too late, that you've overlooked a very important detail of your adventures today
"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBYYYYYYYYYY!"
>strange, squishy claws grasp you by the torso and toss you high into the air
>how did you forget about this?!
>Anonymous catches you, and throws you once again
<"Please! Pleasepleaseplease stop!"
>he doesn't seem to hear you over the sound of his deadly affection as you're tossed once again
"I didn't know you were town! Did you come here just for me? Come here, lemme snuggle you! Lemme boop your nose! Who's a good lil horsie?"
>you shriek and flail your marshmallow hooves around, to no avail as you're tossed again
>he misses the catch
>you're headed for the ground head-first!
>OH NO NO NO NO

==25:00==
>right
>well, that was silly of you
>you'll just have to kill some time with Rarity at the spa while you wait for Anonymous to go away
>then you can try Twilight again
>right?
>wait a minute
<"I don't think 25 is a real hour…"
>the fluffy blankets are yanked from your head
/"It is when you are dead."
>you shriek and flop out of the bed, somehow landing hard on a surface of cloud
>Aryanne offers you a hoof and pulls you upright
<"What? D-d-d-d-d-dead?! Why don't I get any more chances?"
/"I assume because OP vent to bed."
<"Well, ah-uh-huh, well, why are you here?"
/"I did not vant to alarm you, but the death curse was laid over all of us."
<"All of us?!"
>there's a flash of light, and something heavy lands on your back
_"H-hi, Ruby. Aryanne."
/"Sketchy."
>Sketchy clambers off of you and helps you up to your hooves again
<"Well, I guess I figured out about Red at least. Is she here yet?"
/"Not yet. She is a scrappy one, only has died maybe one or two times."
<"Oh. Well that's good. Do you think maybe she could use the time loop thing to get us out of here?"
>Aryanne sighs
/"Probably not."
<"Oh. So what do we do for the rest of forever?"
_"Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!"
>Sketchy draws a large pound sign in the cloud with her hoof, and makes an "X" in the center square
>you sigh, and obligingly draw an "O" right next to it
>this might get boring after a few thousand years

==END==