Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 8th, 2012
---

>Day 92 in Equestia
>"And here we have the Canterlot Catacombs!"
>You look at the entrance to the underground complex, several signs and guards protecting it
>The tour guide continues
>"These catacombs were built under Canterlot after it was first built, and have stood undisturbed for thousands of years! Some archaeologists theorise that it goes right into the heart of the mountain!"
>"Not even our fair princesses know how deep it goes, since the pony that designed it died shortly after it's creation and an unfortunate incident provoked the princesses into closing it off to the public."
>"As a result, nop0ny has ever gone inside. It's unsure why they were even built but you can't deny that they're a marvellous sight to behold!"
>You take in the entrance
>It's a huge cavern carved right into Canterlot Mountain, a massive gaping maw that leads into a mysterious black abyss.
>You stand with your arms folded, squinting at the ancient markings above the entrance and the stone pillars supporting it
>You shudder to imagine what could have caused the construction of such a gargantuan project
>"Come along, everyp0ny! Over here we can see the base of Canterlot Castle!"
>You catch up to the tour group.
>Twilight recommended it after she found out your love of History
>So far it's been spectacular, some of these stone constructs would make even the Egyptians blush
>You bump into a pony
>Or she bumps into you
>You're not sure
>But you look down and see that it's the same pony who bumped into you the last 40 times today
Please, ma'am. Mind where you're going
>"Ja! Do not vorry, Monsieur, I vill be mort careful in da future."
>What the fuck kind of accent was that?


1/15

>Shake your head and continue on the tour
>You swear you know that pony from somewhere, you just can't put your finger on it.
>The tour group continues for another hour
>You and the rest of them "oooh" and "aaah" at the various sights.
>These ponies are expert stone mason. 
>Who'd a guessed it?
>As the tour enters a small building at the base of the castle foundations, you notice the pony who bumped you looking over the edge of a cliff
>She begins to teeter on the edge
>Panic fills you as you run from the group and grab her by the haunches before she can go over
>Drag her back by her rear and make sure she's ok
What were you thinking?!
>"Hark, Fair traveller! I was just stopping for a spot of tea and biscuits when I noticed that rather fetching drop over there. I just thought I should poke my nose in and see what it was like"
>So now she's a sophisticated British person.
>Wonderful
Look, just be more careful around cliffs. You don't have wings and neither do I, I can't save you if you go over.
>"Not to worry, mate. Ya'r a fine fella', I tell you that now. I'm right chuffed that you grabbed me arse when ya' did or I would have been a proper pancake!"
>She prances off back to the tour group
>You sit on the grass, utterly dumbfounded for a second
>Shake your head and stand up, turning back to the tour group to watch the mare return
>Something about the way she walks... Who IS that?
>You can't tell under all the clothes she's wearing
>The tour carries on into midday and you all settle down to eat some refreshments and talk about the tour
>You're sat at a bench eating some sandwiches when a certain mare joins you

2/15

>"Yo waddup, homes?"
...Hey
>The mare is sat across from you, eating a nutrient bar and making random gang signs
>She's still dressed in her outfit though
>A top hat, a monocle, a gold neck chain, polkadot socks and a bright blue jacket that covers most of her back
>She looks like a walking fashion disaster
>You're glad Rarity isn't here or she would have just let her drop off the cliff before
>"Aight. So check it. Me and my boys are gonna fuck around this here group, ya' dig?"
I... dig?
>"Nice. Better watch yo back, nigga. Shit's about to get cray cray up in here"
>She leaves, humming what sounds like "Where da hood at" by DMX
>You stare blankly at where she was just sat, trying to piece together what she just said
>You try to finish your sandwich when you hear several screams from your right
>Looking around you see the mare charging into the lunch area, flanked by a pack of Bears wearing gold chains and backwards facing baseball caps
>Jesus Christ
>The bears and the mare start flipping tables and harassing old mares with their new generation ghetto ways
>You stare in stunned silence
>The mare looks at you and taps a bear on the shoulder
>"Yo, big B. Check out the monkey. Let's fuck his shit"
>HA. YEAH. NAH.
>Run like hell out of the lunch area
>Hear the mare screaming after you and the roars of several angry gangsta-bears
>Run for about 5 minutes until you see some guards
HEY! OVER HERE! HELP!
>The guards look at you
>Then see the bears
>They charge the oncoming mob and begin beating the law into those beatnick hooligans and their strange music
>While the Royal Canterlot Guard and a pack of misunderstood bears tangle, you notice what they were guarding
>The Canterlot Catacombs

3/15

>Hear someone clear their throat behind you
>Turn and see the mare glaring at you
>"Yo you got some nerve, good sir."
WHAT ACCENT IS THAT?
>"Umm... I uhh- L-look, just h-hand over all your money, please."
>Hang on a second
>The cogs start turning
>Before you can reach a conclusion the mare tackles you
>You both start rolling over each other, each trying to beat the other into submission
>Rolling past some warning signs
>Don't notice
>Keep trying to throw the crazy mare off you
>Finally manage to kick her off
>Look around
>It's dark
>Look to the left
>See the outside world and the backs of several signs
>Hear distant roars in the distance and screams for backup
>Look back to the mare
>She's got some kind of large box with a red button
>Raise an eyebrow
>Look back at the pillars holding up the front
>Realise that they're covered in dynamite
HOW DID YOU EVEN-
>The mare pushes the button
>Your ears pop and you're thrown backwards, deeper into the cave as the explosives detonate, bringing the entrance down and sealing you in behind several thousand tons of rock
>Now you're trapped inside an ancient catacombs that no one knows about
>With a Cockney-Upper-Class-Gangster

4/15

>Stand up groaning and rubbing your back
>The mare is also a bit dazed, but still down
>You hobble over to her and kick her in the shoulder
Get up.
>She shakily gets up
>"D-did it w-work?"
>Look around
>Torches lit by magical fires light up the interior of the caverns, providing a feeble amount of light, but enough to see where you're going
If you wanted to trap us in an ancient crypt, yeah. I guess it did work. Well done, retard.
>"T-that's not very nice, mister"
>She starts taking off her clothes
>Yellow mane
>Pink hair
>Timid expression
>You swear you know this pony from somewhere
>She looks at you expectantly
>You look back with a confused expression
>She notices her small black moustache and hastily removes it
>FUCKING
FLUTTERSHY.
>"eep!"
>Tackle her
>"Oh my~"
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?
>"S-so being trapped under Canterlot Mountain isn't your fetish?"
>Feel your eye twitch madly
You have exactly 10 seconds to get me out of here before I break every bone in your body
>"b-but"
One.
>"I-I can't!"
Four.
>"Wait! you m-missed 3 numbers!"
NINE.
>"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"
TEN.

5/15

>If anyone was stood outside the collapsed entrance, they would probably hear a faint shouting coming from inside
>Rather than the common cries for "help" or "is anybody out there" they would instead hear something not a lot of people say when trapped.
I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU
>"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"
>You chase Fluttershy around in a big circle
>Tears stream down her face as she runs for her life
>"I-I CAN PUT IT RIGHT! I CAN FIX THIS!"
THEY'LL NEED TO FIX YOU WHEN I'M DONE
>She unfurls her wings and takes off to the roof of the cave
>"Now, mister, I'm sure you're very angry. But you need to calm down and relax. You can't get me up here so let's take a deep breath, and- AH!"
>You narrowly miss her face with a stone
>You pick up another and hurl it at her
>Fuelled by an anger that only you can feel, you continue to throw stones and pebbles at the yellow demon
>"Anon- AH!, Darling Pleas- EEK!, Just calm- AAAH!"
STOP FUCKING MOVING AND LET ME BREAK YOU
>This goes on for another 45 minutes 
>Eventually you drop to the floor in tired defeat, your throwing arm aching
>Fluttershy, not used to such prolonged flight, falls out of the air and starts panting for breath
>You both look at each other from the floor, you glaring daggers and her smiling at you
>"Is... Rock... Throwing... Your fetish?"
>You would strangle her, but you're far too tired to even clench your fist
>Instead you give up and drift off into an exhaustion induced slumber

6/15

>Wake up to the feeling of something wet on your face
>Water? A leak in the roof?
>Open your eyes slightly
>Fluttershy sloppily licking your face like a dog
>She's making sure to get as much dribble on you as possible
>"O-oh, hello, Anon! Did you sleep well?"
>She blushes
>"Did you dream about me?"
>Stare at her for 10 seconds, your face bearing absolutely no emotion whatsoever
>"Is that a yes?"
>Push her off you and stand up
Ok, Fluttershy. Listen up.
>She stands to attention and smiles up at you
These catacombs are massive, but there must be more than one entrance. I vote we go and find another one.
>"G-go deeper into the cave? Ooh... But it's scary in here!"
You weren't thinking about this very much when you strapped dynamite to the pillars, were you?
>"Not really. I was too caught up thinking about your hot di-"
Ok then. Well I'm going to go find and exit.
>Walk over to a wall and pull off a torch
>Blow the flame out
>After a second it sparks up again, just as fierce as before
>Yeah. Magic fire. Thank god for that.
>Head deeper into the catacombs.
>You nervously walk down the corridors, searching for any sign of another entrance, from the sound of wind to the smell of fresh air
>Stop at a split in the path
>Fluttershy bumps into your legs
>"A-are we outside yet?"
What do you think?
>"I think this is a big dream and this is the part you strip off and make me a mare in these halls"
That's not the answer I was looking for
>"I want you to fu-"
I GET IT.
>Look at the section between the split
Looks like ancient pony text. Can you read it?
>"I can. But it'll cost you"

7/15

>Sigh
What do you want...
>"Just give me a kiss on the cheek. That's all"
>Lean down and lightly peck her on the cheek
>She giggles madly and her wings spring up
Yeah yeah. Now read it
>"I can't"
>She beams up at you
>"B-but you're more than welcome to kiss me some more"
>You kick her down one corridor and walk down the other
>Mumble to yourself as you walk
Fucking Fluttershy... Stupid Horse... Damnable Equine...
>Come to another stop
>An arrow pointing right is accompanied by a depiction of a snake
>An arrow pointing left is accompanied by a depiction of a skeletal pony
>Well that's an easy choice
>You go right
>You used to keep Snakes as a kid, you're fine around them
>Enter a large chamber with a door at far end
>The room is large and rectangular, with a sizable hole in the left-hand side
Huh.
>Walk towards to door at the end
>Passing through the centre of the room and past the hole, you hear a faint hissing sound
>Stop and look around
>Wave the torch to try and see more
>Nothing
>Carry on walking when you hear it again
>This time it's much louder and you hear a slight groaning, like when metal is put under a lot of strain.
>Turn and look back at the hole
>A pair of giant yellow eyes stare back at you
Holy mother of god.

8/15

>The eyes move towards you
>Turns out they're attached to a snake, as expected
>A snake of incredible proportions slithers out of the pipe and rears up in front of you
>It's easily 10 times taller than you at full height, and it's fangs are dripping with venom so potent that it sizzles when it makes contact with the floor
>You're petrified by it's eyes, they seem to stare into your soul and root you to the spot
>Hear a sudden scream from the entrance to the room
>Both you and the snake snap your heads around and look at the culprit
>Fluttershy stands in the doorway, her face a visage of pure terror
>"A-ANON! THAT'S A BASILISK! RUN!"
>Her voice snaps you out of your trance just in time
>The basilisk's mouth shoots forward and takes a chunk out of the thin air where you were just stood
>It roars in frustration and follows you
>Your chest is burning as you run as fast as you can towards the exit
>Fluttershy soars over your head towards the door and pulls it open
>"Hurry!"
>Another roar from behind causes you to speed up even faster than you thought you could run and you dive through the door, sliding on the floor behind it
>Fluttershy closes the door behind you both just as the basilisk's head slams into it
>The stone door shudders but holds
>The impact makes the place shake slightly and dust falls from the ceiling
>You pant for breath and clutch your burning chest
>Fluttershy lands next to you and nuzzles your face
>"Oh Anon! I was so worried! You scared that poor Basilisk so much!"
You what?! I was nearly eaten alive!
>"Don't be like that, he was just as scared of you as you were of it"
>She smiles at you
>You're beginning to hate that smile
>Her hoof moves towards your crotch but you slap her away and stand up
Lets just keep moving.

9/15

>You both walk in silence down the corridor, the light of the torch your only source of sanity down here
>Eventually you come to a set of 3 doors
>Over each is a symbol like those before
>Over the first is a depiction of a flame
>The second bears a drop of liquid, possibly water
>The third and final shows several flowing lines, based on the other two you guess that it must be wind
>Turn to Fluttershy
Well, we have a fine selection of death here.
>She whimpers
We have burnt alive, drowned, or blown to death
>She perks up at the last one
>"Do you want to be blo-"
Shut up. Just tell me which you want
>"I-I want to blow you"
>Sign
So the third door then. I suppose it's better than the other two. Lets go
>You pull open the third door and step through, Fluttershy close behind you
>The room you now stand in is, for the lack of a better word: Awesome.
>A colossal circular room surrounds you
>You and Fluttershy are stood on a small ledge over looking what seems to be a bottomless pit
>You look up and no ceiling, it just goes on
Ponies... Built... This...
>Fluttershy looks just as awestruck as you are
>"W-what do you think we have to do?"
>Oh cool, she's getting into it. Maybe she'll actually be of help now
>Survey the room and see platforms, like the one you're stood on all around the room
>They're laid out in a fashion so that they look like steps
>They just have a gap in between each one
>And a bottomless pit if you miss it

10/15

>Your eyes fall on the nearest platform
>Gulp, take a deep breath, and jump onto it
>It's completely solid
>Sigh in relief
>Turn back to speak to Fluttershy but watch as the platform she's stood on gives way and crumbles underneath her
>She squeals and takes flight, hovering over where the platform just was
>She looks sheepishly at you
>"S-sorry"
>Only Fluttershy would say sorry
>Shake your head and jump onto the next platform
>Just as you thought, the platform you leapt from gives way.
>Guess you've chosen your direction now.
>Onwards and upwards.
>You start jumping from platform to platform, ascending higher and higher
>Fluttershy hovers next to you the entire time
>You look up after about 20 minutes of this and see what you think is the ceiling, lit up by a distant torch that you couldn't make out from where you used to be stood
>"H-how much higher?"
Just up there. How are you for energy?
>"I'm fine..."
>Continue upwards, stopping for breaks from time to time with Fluttershy until you reach the top
>You jump onto the final platform and watch the one you jumped from crumble
>Stare at the doorway in front of you, along with the torch you saw before
>"Wow, Anon. You're sweaty. Umm, w-want me to lick it off?"
>Ignore her and head into the doorway, torch in hand.
>The torch is now your only friend in this hellhole
>But you went directly up for so long, you have to be close to the top now
>Come to another sign
>This one has a piece of reflective glass embedded in the rock
>A grimy looking human and a tired, ruffled pony stare back
>"Mirrors?"
Only one way to find out
>You both step through the door

11/15

>A small room greets you
>In the middle is a tall mirror, stood on it's end, no doubt supported by magic of some kind
>You and Fluttershy both walk over to it
>You look at each other for a second before peering into it
>Your feel light-headed for a second and blink several times to try and focus yourself
>After the first blink you look around and see
>...Your room?
>Not your Equestrian room, your Earth room
>You're back home!
>You cheer and shout for a while and throw open the curtains
>Cars and busy streets meet you
>You feel tears streaming down your face and you feel a sense of euphoria wash over you
>Run over to the bedroom door and throw it open
>Practically throw yourself out the front door and breathe in that sweet carbon-dioxide filled air
>Home
>You're actually home
>"Hey, what are you so happy about?"
>Look down and see a chubby little boy eating an icecream
>He regards you with a nervous look
>You admit you must look a little bit crazy, covered in grime and grinning like a madman
>But you're just so happy to be back
Everything's gonna be ok, kid. Life has never been sweeter

12/15

>Walk down the bustling streets and grin at everyone that you see
>Hear a taxi-cab driver screaming and two teenagers laughing in a nearby cafe
>Stop walking and smile
>Close your eyes and tilt your head back, feeling the sun on your face
>Open them to look at the beautiful blue sky
>A dark, musty stone roof looks back
>Realisation hits you
>Look down and see the reality you thought you knew crumble and shatter like glass
>You find yourself staring at the mirror
>Your face is one of utter confusion and anger
>About to scream when you notice Fluttershy next to you
>She's still looking into the mirror
>You're angry that you got pulled in like that, but you're still curious about what Fluttershy must be seeing
>Watch her for a while
>She's wearing a small smile and looks completely at peace
>Place your head right next to hers and look at the mirror
>Sure enough, you see what she sees
>Herself and you
>Sat on a sofa
>Reading
>That's all
>You look back at her
>Then back at the illusion
>You're just sat there reading. No words. No crazy monkey sex. Just the two of you, sat in each other's company.
>Fakeshy looks at Fakeanon
>"Good book?"
>Fakeanon smiles back and strokes her mane for a second, eliciting a happy sigh from Fakeshy
>"Yup."
>Well this is weird
>Shake the real Fluttershy and whisper into her ear
It's not real, we have to go.
>She instantly snaps out of it and looks around frantically
>"B-but where is.... oh..."
>Her ears flatten and she looks on the verge of tears
Hey, it's ok.
>Pull her into a hug

13/15

>She softly weeps into your shoulder for a while
>"But we were so happy..."
I know, I know. But we have to keep moving. This mirror is evil, it preys on...
>Sigh
...Our deepest desires
>Fluttershy looks up at you with a tear-streaked face
>"A-are you ok?"
Yeah. I'm fine. Lets go.
>Walk past the mirror and continue onwards
>That last room really took it out of you
>You feel emotionally and physically drained
>But you have to keep moving, there's no way in hell you're dying down here
>You don't even know how long you've been down here
>Walk through a doorway and are greeted by yet another room
>This time there's set of stairs in the middle, and a tablet to the side
>Walk over to it
>It depicts ponies walking up the stairs to be greeted by... The sun and the moon?
>You ponder this for a second
>So it's like a stairway to the heavens?
>Your mind recalls a long forgotten tune as you think
>You hum to the tune absent-mindedly
>Fluttershy taps you on the leg
>"Umm, I think we just need to walk up it."
>You look at her then the stairs
>Nowhere else to go
>You both proceed up the stairs
>As you get closer to the top you hear voices and smell exotic scents
>You look at Fluttershy and she looks at you
>You're both tired, hungry, dirty and drained from this whole experience
>And strangely, you feel almost like you've bonded together
>Fluttershy isn't looking at you hungrily anymore
>She seems... Normal. Like she's had enough and just wants this to end
>You reach the top of the staircase and see a dead end
>On the wall facing you you see the same Sun symbol
>You feel like you've seen it before but you don't know where

14/15

Hey, Fluttershy. What IS this symbol?
>She looks at it for a second
>"Oh, that's the cutie mark of the royal princess, Celestia."
>As soon as she said Celestia the wall faded into thin air and your jaw drops
>You look out into the room and several ponies look back at you
>"Where... Did you just come from?"
>Celestia and her council gawp at you as you and Fluttershy walk out of the wall, covered in dirt and gasping for air.
>Look out the window
>Yep. You're in Canterlot Castle
>Look back at the Princess
You don't wanna know.

15/15
The End