> Day waiter in Equestria
> The restaurant you work at is pretty average, a step or two above what is essentially pony-subway.
> Since you were hired, there have been some changes to the clientele.
> A lot more unicorns, and mayonnaise has become a heavily requested topping.
> As you bring yet another sandwich to a table, you do your best to ignore all the attention you are getting.
> Did you mention the unicorns?
> Because the main thing you are ignoring is at least five different magical touches stroking your dick, inside your pants.
> Lyra accepts the sub with a shy thank you, and the touch that feels like velvet falters in its light attention.
> In such a manner, you have narrowed down who is doing what.
> For instance, the touch that is cupping your sack is Rarity. She winks at you, and extends a long hindleg to the side.
> You don't quite roll your eyes; she tips well, and has helped you quite a bit with clothes.
> The next sandwich goes to Twilight, who is nearly hiding in the corner.
> You set it before her, and she says,
> "An- uh, I mean waiter?"
"Yes?"
> It feels like a tongue licking your shaft, such that you almost feel the damp warmth of the thing.
> She glances down at the plate.
> "Do you like it? Working here?"
> You smile, and pat her shoulder.
"All things considered, it's a good fit."
> The sub lifts, held by her magic.
> "I'm glad. I should let you get back to work, then."
> She glances at you out of the corner of her eye as she slowly pushes the sub into her mouth, mayonnaise leaking out as she bites down.
> You give her a friendly nod and move on.
> As you pass Vinyl's table, you feel a slight probe at your rear entrance.
> You almost stumble, and she smirks behind a hoof.
> You glare at her.
"How'd you like that if I did it to you?"
> If anything, her smirk gets broader.
> "Is that a promise?"
> Reaching out, you flick her horn.
> She winces; it is a sensitive thing on ponies, and her smile turns rueful.
> "That was a low blow, Anon. You'll never get a mare if you handle a compliment like that!"
"I prefer mares who like to be penetrated, not the other way around."
> The DJ grins.
"You might like it."
> You shake your head and walk away.
> At a lighter prodding at the same spot, you promise death with your eyes.
> She holds up her hooves in surrender, and you let it go.
> There is only one touch you haven't identified, but by the size of the simulated hoof kneading your buttcheeks, the suspect list is pretty small.
> Returning to the kitchen, you nod at the stallion preparing the next sandwich.
> He's a pretty chill boss, and takes good care of you.
> "If they cross the line, just let me know alright? I know how intimidating it can be, being surrounded by slobbering mares."
"Thanks, Home Slice. I don't mind it too much, but I do feel better knowing you've got my back."
> He gives you a warm smile, the returns to chopping vegetables.
> As you pass by the spice closet, a strong scent of vanilla wafts from beneath the door.
> Guess the extract bottle fell and broke.
"Hey, looks like we'll have to get some more vanilla. Do we have a mop?"
> Home Slice gestures to a corner by the sinks, the bucket already half-full of soapy water.
"Thanks."
> You open the closet door and
> Sweet Celestia, you found the booty molester.
> Which is to say, you find sweet Celestia, leaning against the shelves, a hoof between her nethers, and her horn glowing faintly.
> Her breathing is shallow, and her eyes are clenched shut, and you have no idea what to do in this situation.

> Your professional reflexes take over.
"Welcome to the Sub Mission Diner. May I take your order?"
> Her eyes snap open, and her cheeks gradually redden as she removes her hoof slowly.
> She glances down at her glistening hoof, and you feel the grasp on your butt fall away.
> "I- I apologize, Anon. You are supposed to be safe here, but I-"
> You interrupt her.
"It's fine, really. Would you like a sandwich?"
> She looks at you, confusion clouding her face. 
> It's kinda cute.
> "You... don't mind?"
> The feeling of a large hoof gently comes to rest against your rear.
> You smile.
"Just stay out of the butthole, and it's fine. So how about that sandwich?"
> Celestia smiles hesitantly.
> "In that case, I would like a Romaine Black Bean on asiago bread."
"And how much mayonnaise would you like on that?"
> "How much? I don't think mayonnaise is the right topping for that at all!"
> Come to think of it, it's not part of the original build.
"Oh yeah, sorry. It's just a habit from the mares always asking for it."
> She nods in understanding.
> "Who wouldn't want your mayo in their sandwich?"
> The fun thing about innuendo, is that you can take it half-way, and it's still innuendo.
"So you would like it, if I jizzed on your sandwich?"
> And the blush is back in full force.
> "I-if you want to?"
"Sure, I'll be back in a moment with your order."
> Home Slice is pretty quick; less than five minutes later, you return with the sandwich open on the plate.
> The princess gives you a questioning look.
"Thought I'd give you a dinner and a show."
> With that, you unzip your pants and pull out your cock.
> Celestia's face is now beet red, and she is mesmerized by the swing of your sausage.
> Then she notices the several magic auras molesting you, and frowns.
> "That is truly ungentlemarely. Let me help you with that."
> It feels like your dick is plunged into liquid sunlight, and all the other sensations fall away.
> You actually moan a little; it feels amazing.
> Celestia's eyes widen.
> "I apologize, I didn't mean to-"
> You start thrusting into the golden aura around your manhood, retaining just enough sense to aim at the sandwich.
> The princess stops, forgetting her words entirely.
> The sleeve of sunlight starts stroking you, acquiring enough firmness to feel like a mouth, or maybe a certain marehood.
> It feels like you are having sweet, sweet consensual sex with the sun, perhaps for procreative purposes.
> Celestia licks her lips, a wet spot spreading from where she is sitting.
> As you approach the climax, you add your hand to the mix, both to aim and to stimulate.
> Your breath hitches as she squeezes your cock, and you let your seed fly, splattering on the sandwich and the plate.
> You jerk out a few more ropes, and shakily wipe off your dick on the bread of the sub.
> You close the sandwich, and offer it to her.
"Boner appétit, Princess."
> She smiles at the wordplay, and takes a bite.
> Celestia hums in enjoyment as she chews.
> She swallows, and says,
> "Thank you, Anon. It adds just the right touch."
"You are quite welcome, it was my pleasure."
> You stick around; no customers come in, so you end up watching the entire foot long sub slowly make its way past her dainty lips and down her elegant throat.
> Even returned to the confines of your pants, your dick twitches every time she swallows.
> Crumbs still on her lips, she lowers her head and licks the plate, maintaining eye contact while she laps at your cum.
> You are now diamonds.
> She levitates the plate to you, and you reluctantly return to the main kitchen and ring up the sandwich.
> As you hand her the bill on a small tray, you lean in extra close and whisper in her ear,
"I get off at 5, if you are interested."
> She shudders, a hot breath grazing your shoulder.
> "I am. Oh, but how I am."
> You collect the bits, and saunter off, swaying your hips for the fun of it.
> You are rewarded with a firm squeeze, and you return to your normal duties, happily anticipating the evening.
> Fin.