>~Let's do the time-warp again! Let's do the time-warp aga-~
>You shut off your alarm and sigh.
>Time to wake up.
>As best you can, you drag yourself to the bathroom for the morning routine.
>A glistening blade glides over your face as steaming water pours from the shower head.
>No reason you can't combine two actions to reduce time wasted.
>Stepping out of the shower, you glances yourself over in the mirror.
"Lookin' good, Anon. Looking real good."
>You flex dramatically, like a bodybuilder trying to intimidate his mirror into submission.
>Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time with Spike. He was starting to rub off on you.
>After you've finished with the bathroom, you throw on some clothes and move to the next vict-room of the morning.
>The kitchen.
>You stretch as you walk through the doorway, causing your back to pop.
>Ah~ That felt good.
>You pour yourself a bowl of Silver Spoonies.
>It's not like being the only one eating this stuff would be, like, the most embarrassing thing ever.
>Most don't don't like the flavor of this brand, but you enjoy the taste of unachieved self-entitlement peppered with future failures.
>And of course, "Slivers of real Silver Spoon" whatever that means...
>A sudden knock at the door forces a sigh from you.
>Guess the day has officially begun.
>You quickly finish your meal then trudge over to your front door.
>With an exasperated sigh, you pull it open.
>Fluttershy stands on your stoop with...
>The other Mane Six?
>And they're all wearing the Elements of Harmony.
>This can't be good.
>The yellow pegasus trots up to you with the largest grin you've ever see-
>No that's a lie. Her smile used to get progressively larger with each fetish attempt, but she hit peak-smile about thirty-eight guesses ago.
>You just keep thinking that out of habit.
"What do you want, Fluttershy?"
>You stare disapprovingly at the show of force in front of you.
>"Oh, Anon! I know I haven't gotten it yet, but this time, I'm sure I've guessed your fetish!"
>You look to the other p0nies and motion to Fluttershy, trying to get at least some acknowledgement that they heard what she had said.
>Nothing. Of course.
*Sigh* "What is it this time?"
>Fluttershy squees as she takes her place among her friends.
>"Eh-hem. Is being blasted with the most powerful magic in the world your fetish, Anon?"
>Wait, wha-
*PHWOARR*
>The six ponies in front of you burst with bright white light and begin to levitate.
>Against the roaring magic, you let out a scream in an attempt to reason with the technicolored rape-enablers floating ten feet from your home.
"HOW CAN YOU ALL BE OK WITH THIS?"
>Rainbows emerge from each p0ny's necklace and worm their way towards Twilight.
"I MEAN, WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD YOU HAVE FOR USING THIS ON A SINGLE, MAGIC-LESS BEING?"
>The rainbows spiral around Twilight and connect with the Element of Magic.
"IT JUST SEEMS LIKE A LITTLE BIT MU-"
>You are cut off by a multihued blast that engulfs you and the others.
>The ground disappears from under you and you begin to fall.
>Colors and shapes rush past you in your downward spiral, creating a scene that Stanley Kubrick would no doubt be envious of.
>Fluttershy and the rest all share a look of confusion as they fall with you.
>Rainbow Dash attempts to fly, but her wings flap uselessly, providing no motion.
>Twilight attempts to cast a spell.
>The moment the magic escapes her horn, it is absorbed by the warped reality you find yourself in.
>The studious unicorn begins to twitch when she sees her spell fail.
>Rarity and Applejack are flailing around and screaming.
>Curiously enough, AJ seems to be the louder of the two.
>Pinkie just laughs as all of space and time distorts around her.
>And Fluttershy...
>Where was she?
>A warm wetness surrounding your finger draws your attention.
>Fluttershy is dry humping your arm while she sucks on your fingers.
>Gross.
>You shake her off and position to throw her at Rainbow.
>You must have something against pegasi.
>...
>It's not racist.
>You pull back and attempt to release Fluttershy, only to be sent flying backwards as she stays perfectly still.
>Your last words as you hit the edge of the magic bubble surrounding you were the most clever you could think of.
"Newton says NOOOOOOOO!"
>With that perfect line, you disappear from the Mane Six's sight.
 
>The sound of rushing air fills your ears.
>You were still falling, albeit at an angle now.
>You wonder where you- OH GOD, WATER!
*SPLASH!*
>You bounce off the surface of a lake.
*SPLASH!*
>This is very painful.
*SPLASH!*
>Humans aren't meant to be skipped like stones across a body of water.
*SPLASH!*
*SPLASH~Blub* *Blub*
>You finally manage to come to a stop.
>Underwater.
>Which is ironic because your body feels like it's on fire from all the high powered water skimming you just performed.
>You slowly float to the surface as muscle control comes back online.
*Gasp*
>Air has never tasted so good.
>You manage to swim to the lakeside and collapse on the beach.
>Turning onto your back, you attempt to discern your location.
>Waterfalls pouring into the lake draw your attention towards a mountain.
>A magnificent white city juts out of the mountainside and glows in the light of the rising sun.
>Looks like you're near Canterlot.
>A sudden flash of blue light causes you to clamp your eyes shut.
>*Sniff* "Stupid Tia..."
>That voice... you know you've heard it before.
>"It's not fair. They all love you."
>You prop yourself up and scan the area for the source of the familiar voice.
>A dark sapphire pegasus hangs her head by the lakeside.
>"They care nothing for me though!"
>The lake explodes into a geyser as the pegasus flings her head up in a fit of rage.
>She has a horn.
>This pegasus is more than meets the eye it seems.
>As the water rains down on both of you, she lowers her head again.
>"No one cares about my beautiful night..."
>That's it, Luna! This p0ny was Princess Luna!
>You had never actually met the night princess, she always seemed to vanish when you tried to approach her.
>The only reason you even recognized the voice was because Luna tends to forget how to speak quietly.
>She could be heard clear from the other side of Ponyville, in fact.
>The lunar princess gives on last sigh and picks herself up.
>Keeping her head low, she turns and walks towards you.
>No, not towards… AT you.
>You try to drag yourself out of the way but…
*Pomf*
>Muscle control decides to call it a day, so you fall helplessly against the soft sand.
>Luna is much closer now and apparently still hasn't seen you, judging from her unresponsive state.
>This is going to be awkward. Maybe she'll turn away before reaching you though?
>*Sigh* "I just want- Whoa!"
>The mighty sovereign of the moon trips over you and falls flat on her face.
>You stare at her flank.
>Not because you're a pervert or anything, but because it is positioned right in front of your face.
>This very close analysis of the p0ny in front of you causes you to realize something.
>Luna is a lot smaller than you remember.
>That, and her mane isn't a bizarre collection of stars and flowing aether.
>All in all, she looks… younger.
>"Ow~"
>The young princess removes herself from you and stands up.
>She looks down at you and backs away frightened.
>"Wh- What are you?"
>'What am I'?
"Uh… Are you alright, princess? You're looking a little… deflated."
>When she hears you speak, Luna begins to panic.
>"How do you know of me? What is going on? What-"
>Her face becomes serious.
>"What did you overhear?"
>Your eyes dart from side to side, looking for something to stare at that isn't an intimidating governor of a celestial body.
>They determine the lake is the best thing to work with.
>Keeping your sight fixated on the water, you speak.
"Oh… You know… Nothing really. Heh, heh."
>Your eyes betray you and steal a quick glance at Luna.
>Her eyes are mere inches away from yours, looking down at you.
>"I guess I'll have to find out the hard way."
>A soft blue glow surrounds you as Luna places her horn against your chest.
"No wai-"
>An explosion of magic sends Luna soaring through the air.
>She collides with a tree and slumps onto the ground, unconscious.
>You gather your strength for a moment then force yourself up.
>All four limbs protest, but you quiet their screams as you stumble over to Luna.
>A patch of blood mars her coat near her head.
>This probably wouldn't look good, you standing over the crumpled, unconscious body of a princess.
>You lift your hand and gaze at the sparking ring on one of your fingers.
>A token gift for you from the royal sisters due to your incessant complaining about Fluttershy.
>It absorbed all mind spells used on you and turned the magic into a powerful explosion.
>Non-lethal of course, but powerful enough to launch p0nies into trees apparently.
>As you examine Luna for any major complications, a loud voice surprises you.
>"STOP RIGHT THERE,  CRIMINAL SCUM!"
"Wha-"
*Thud*
>The world fades to black as you fall to the ground.
 
>You awake in some kind of dungeon.
>The dank cell smells of hay and blood, a combination you never thought you'd experience.
>Light filters through a small window lined with iron bars.
>Shackles chained to your limbs, combined with your already exhausted state prevent exploring the chamber much.
>You resolve to learn more about your surroundings after a nice nap.