Originally uploaded to Pastebin: November 29th, 2012
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>Day 15 in Equestria
>You are Anon
>So are the other 2 guys sleeping in the same bed as you
>Sort of
>Getting torn from your world and forced into this one had some strange effects
>Namely the two other Anons being brought into existence
>You stare at the ceiling for a while and think about how weird your life has become
>Look at the window to your bedroom
>A flying horse wearing a mailbag flies into a tree
>The sad part is that it's not the weirdest thing you've seen since you came here
>Sigh
>Sit up between the two Anons and crawl off the end of the bed
>Look back at the other two, who are still snoozing
>The bed is tiny, and you don't even need covers since you're all squeezed together for warmth
>It's not that bad. 
>It's just two clones of you. So no one can judge you
>Walk downstairs and eat cereal for about 10 minutes while staring blankly at a wall
>Look at the clock
>7:29
>Here we go
>7:30
>The clock chimes once to signal a half-hour
>There's a knock on the door
>Aaaaand go
>"IF THAT FUCKING PONY IS HERE AGAIN I'LL RIP IT'S SPINE OUT AND CHOKE IT WITH IT."
>Hear a small "eep" from behind the door
>Also hear the two Anons get up and walk downstairs
>Go over to the door
>Open it
Hi Fluttershy
>"H-hello Anon... Umm... Which one are you again?"
I'm the normal one
>Her ears perk up
>"O-oh g-good. I was afraid I got the angry one again"

1/10

Nah. It's good. What do you want this time?
>Lean against the door and give her a flat look
>"W-well I just wanted to know what umm..."
Spit it out, Fluttershy. We've done this for 8 days in a row now.
>"Do you think you could walk around n-naked today? The other ponies feel uncomfortable around you when you're w-wearing so many clothes..."
That's bullshit and you know it.
>She hides behind her mane
>"Oh... Yeah, sorry..."
Anything else?
>"W-well"
Cool
>Slam the door
>Fucking horse
>Walk into the kitchen and see the other two Anons
>The one eating your cereal looks up
>"Did ya' kill her?"
Nope.
>"Pussy."
>He goes back to eating
>Look at the other one staring out the window
>He turns and beams at you
>"Isn't it absolutely beautiful today?"
>God you look creepy when you smile that much
Yeah, it's a nice day. So what's the plan for today?
>"Murder."
>"Reading!"
>"Genocide."
>"Baking?"
>"Some other form of death that involves these disgusting animals"
>"A picnic!"
Those are all horrible ideas. I'm ashamed of both of you.
>"We are you, dickwad"
Whatever.
>"Well, have you got any better ideas, grumpy?"
>Think for a second
Baking.
>"But I sa-"
At Sugarcube Corner
>"That the place with that pink one?"
Yeah.
>"I'll kill her and fuck the corpse"
Of course you will.

2/10

>A few minutes later you're all walking down the road.
>Silence between you three
>Look to your left
>The happy you is humming and walking with a bounce to his step
>Look to your right
>The angry you is kicking rocks at nearby animals
Yeah. I think I know what I'm calling you two from now on. We can't go on being called "Anon"
>"I don't know why we don't use our normal name! Andrew is such a lovely name, afterall"
>"Fag"
Fag.
>He frowns
>"Well what do you suggest
>You point at him
You're now called Happynon.
>You pat the other one on the back
And this grumpy fuck is called Angernon.
>"Those are the worst fucking names i've ever heard. You're lucky you're as handsome as me or I would have dragged you behind that bush and throttled you."
Yeah I think they're pretty good as well. What do you think, happy?
>"I think they're lovely"
>You all carry on walking and promptly fall down a pitfall

3/10

>"WHAT THE FUCK"
>"Oh gosh."
Ahh shit.
>You all look up at the culprit for this cruel prank
>A familiar Yellow mare looks down at you sheepishly
>"S-so is being in a giant pit your fetish?"
>"HOW THE FUCK WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?"
>She winces
>"I umm.. I d-don't know..."
>"WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I WILL BREAK EVERYTHING YOU LOVE."
>"E-everything?"
>"EVERYTHING."
>She *eeps* again and look at you
>"D-do you like my hole, Anon? T-there's plenty more where it came from!"
>She turns around and shows you all her rear
Oh god why
>"Oh fucking hell"
>"That's revolting"
>She faces you again
>"Y-you don't like it?... Oh..."
When you woke up this morning, what made you think that digging a massive pit in the middle of a road would be a good idea?
>"I told you man, she's retarded"
>"W-well, Anon. I thought you might swoon for me if you saw this pit... Maybe think 'wow! Fluttershy has done such a good job with this pit! I think i'll show her my... hot... dick...'"
>She trails off and starts drooling
>Happynon giggles at this
>You and Angernon glare at him
>"Oh, what? She can be adorable at times. Even if she is a little bit odd"
>"I hate you so fucking much"
>Happynon frowns
>"Well we're going to be down here for a while, so I think you'd better get used to me."
>"I AM you, you insipid shitstain."
>"Well then I guess you just insulted yourself, silly!"
>Angernon is taken aback and starts trying to blurt out a response
>He fails, sits down, folds his arms and sulks
Welp. I don't think this day could get any worse.

4/10

>"Yoo hoo! Anon! I'm back now!"
You left?
>"Y-yes. And now, since you're all stuck here all day, I can guess your fetish!"
>Angernon looks at you with glistening eyes
>"Kill me."
Later. Look, Fluttershy. Just get us out of here and I'll take you out to dinner or some shit like that.
>She giggles at you
>"Silly, I know you're lying to me! I have you just where I want you now! And nothing can take you away from me!"
>Angernon starts crying
>Happynon sighs
>"Fluttershy, darling. Can't we work something out? I'd be happy to spend time with you if you wish. I'm identical to Anon here, I just have a nicer attitude. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
>He looks at her with a desperate look on his face
>She stares back with a dreamy look in her eye
>"Oooh~ I'd like that very much... But you can do it once I'm done with you three"
You're seriously going to keep us in a fucking pit all day? We need to eat you know.
>"I'll bring you food"
And we need to drink-
>"And drinks"
And we will obviously need to use the toilet-
>"Dig a hole"
We're in a hole.
>"Another hole, silly"
You're sick.
>"Shush, Anon. Momma will make you want her by day's end"
>Angernon stops crying
>He glares up at her and points a finger
>Opens his mouth
>And begins a 30 minute scream-rant about the things he'll do to her after he gets out of the pit
>Some of which you don't think are even possible
>Especially the one about the Tea Leaves. 
>That one was just silly.
>Sit down and listen to him scream
>Happynon sits next to you and rests his head on your shoulders
>It's not gay if it's you

5/10

>The day goes on
>Angernon screams
>Happynon pleads
>You reason
>Fluttershy tries to guess your fetishes
>"Tentacles?"
>"DEAR FUCKING GOD NO MAKE THEM GO AWAY"
>She mutters a few words and the hell rift in the middle of the pit floor closes, taking the lovecraftian horrors with it
That was fuckin' crazy.
>"Yes... It was quite, horrible..."
>Poor Happynon. This is really taking a toll on him
>You put an arm around his shoulders and give a reassuring squeeze
>He smiles at you
>Fluttershy sees this
>"Oh! Are homosexual relationships your fetish, Anon?"
IT'S NOT GAY IF IT'S ME
>"Sure it isn't, faggot"
Shut up, Angernon.
>"Well umm... Just a second"
>She runs off, leaving you three in silence
How long have we been down here? Who has the watch?
>Angernon pulls the watch you three share out of his pocket
>"It's 5. We've been down here for nearly 8 fucking hours"
God damn.
>Happynon taps you on the shoulder
>"Andrew... If we get out of here, I'd be happy to answer the door to Fluttershy in the morning from now on"
>What a trooper
That won't be necessary. I don't think we're going to make it out of this alive
>"I hear that. I can't believe that bitch tried to feed us Hay. Doesn't she know what humans eat? Fuck i'm hungry"
We all are, man. Keep it together

6/10

>Angernon squirms
What's up?
>"I've sort of... Uhh, been holding it in all day"
>Oh shit no.
Ok. Relax, we'll dig a hole
>"I'm not going in a fucking hole. Toilets are what separates us from the animals"
Ponies have toilets you retard.
>"Toilets and Opposable thumbs"
Smartass
>"I'm not shitting a hole, Anon."
>"Y-you can shit on me... If you want..."
>"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE"
>Look up and see Fluttershy
>She's got a lantern and a sleeping bag
You must be fucking joking. I'm not spending a night in a pit
>She smiles 
>"Well it's not like you're going anywhere. And neither am I so get comfortable"
>She throws a few apples down
>Happynon squeals
>"Yes! Food!"
>He chews his apple with a content look on his face
>God that's cute
>Fuck off, brain.
>"Thank Christ for that, I'm starved"
You sure you should eat anything, Angernon? You already need to go
>"I'll hold it in. If I die of clogged up faecal matter in my rectum I'm blaming Banana Hush."
>Happynon lowers his apple
>"I was eating..."
>"Suck it up, you pansy"
>Look up at the heavens
God, when did I wrong you so?

7/10

>Fluttershy gasps
>"I-I'VE GOT IT!"
Again, how did I wrong you?
>"Y-you three should all make out! Ohh I can't believe I didn't think of this until now!"
>Angernon stares at her
>"You what, mate?"
>She clops her hooves excitedly
>"If you all have gay sex right now in this pit, you're sure to love it! And then i'll love it! And then you'll love me!"
>"Your logic is utterly fucked"
And so will you if she has her way. Come on, guys. We need to get out of here.
>"But how, Andrew?"
Dunno. We'll think of something. Three minds are better than one.
>"But what if it's all the same mind?"
>Damn. That's surprisingly clever.
>Smart and cute, you never even saw it in yourself-
>FUCK YOU BRAIN
>All three of you put your heads together and start planning so that Fluttershy can't hear
>"A-are you all kissing down there? Please say yes..."
>Surprisingly, Angernon has some pretty awesome ideas.
>Digging hand and footholes in the walls of the pit
>Standing on each other's shoulders
>Digging a tunnel with the plates you have down here from the Hay meal you got
>You nod your head approvingly
Nice ideas, Angry.
>"No problem. I just want to get out of here"
>"I agree. I miss the sun on my face..."
>Look at Happynon
>You gotta get him out of here, even if you and Angrynon die. He doesn't deserve any of this.
>You probably should have mentioned earlier, Angrynon and Happynon aren't just physical manifestations of your emotions. They ARE your emotions.
>You are incapable of feeling happiness or anger since they came into being.
>It makes having them around that much more enjoyable and useful, since they can channel your emotions when you can't.
Ok. I think I have a plan.

8/10

>You all wait until nightfall
>Fluttershy bids you all goodnight and sweet dreams and goes off to sleep
>After a while you hear her muttering in her sleep
>"mmmm... three dicks at once..."
>Fuckin' Horse.
>You pull the other two in 
Ok. Lets move.
>You all carefully break the 3 plates in half, creating 9 half pieces
>They're made of porcelain, so it's a tough material.
>You press them into the mud-walls of the pit and test them once they're far enough in
>They can support your weight
>Slowly and surely climb the wall, planting more foot/hand holds with the plates.
>Eventually you climb out the top and beckon to the other two
>Angernon climbs up there faster than a monkey and starts humping the ground when he gets out
>Happynon is next
>You hold out your hand and take his to help him up
>His hands are so soft...
>BRAIN. STOP.
>Once you're all out there are high-fives and pats on the back all round
>This wakes up Fluttershy
>"o-OH! You're umm... Out..."
Yeah. We are.
>Angernon cracks his knuckles
>"I'm gonna enjoy this"
>Happynon holds him back
>"Don't, we can settle this without violence..."
>Angernon shrugs him off and walks up to Fluttershy
>He grins maliciously at her
>He forces her out the sleeping back and rips it to pieces
>Once the cord that tightens the back is free, he uses it to bind Fluttershy's wings as hard as he can
>"O-ouch... Please... That hurts!"
>"Good."
>He stands back and looks at her proudly
>"There we are!"
>And punts her into the pit

9/10

>You can't help it 
>You laugh
>You don't feel happy at all, but you just felt it was the right thing to do.
Nice work, Angry.
>He grins at you
>"I'm pretty awesome aren't I?"
Will she be ok?
>"Oh yeah. I left her some... Food..."
>You notice he looks more relaxed-
>OH DEAR GOD
>You grab the lantern and light up the pit with it
>Fluttershy is lying in a pile of Angrypoop
That's... Brilliant.
>Angernon laughs
>"Come on, I'm hungry. I wanna eat at that Sugarcube place. After this I feel like kissing that pink one. She'll be a welcome sight"
Wow, really?
>"Nah. If she looks at me i'll break her face. But I'm still pretty hungry"
Time?
>He looks at the watch
>"11 o Clock. Think they'll still be open?"
Only one way to find out.
>You all head down the path into Ponyville, watching out for any giant holes
>Angernon walks on ahead, fuelled by his hunger
>You and Happynon walk side by side
>Look at him in the moonlight
>He smiles at you
>"Thanks for getting us out, Andrew"
>Put an arm round his shoulder and pull him in close
>Feel his hand slide into your back pocket and stay there as you walk into town
>Its not gay if it's you.

10/10
THE END.