>You are Anon, and you’re currently watching your bro beat that one boss in that one video game you simply never could finish yourself.
>It’s not like you’re outright bad at it, he’s just that much better.
>"You see how he’s charging up like that?" he asks, his vision fixed on the monitor.
>"You always gotta go to the side on that one or he’ll fuck you up."
"Mhm."
>You signal your understanding, watching Rainbow dodge the attack.
>"See?"
"Damn, you’re good at this!"
>Taking his eyes away from the screen for a moment to flash you a toothy grin, your friend nods before proceeding to make beating the boss look like something only an absolute klutz would ever have any trouble with.
>The fucker is already down to a quarter of his health without Rainbow breaking a sweat.
>"And that..."
>Another hit connects, sapping more of the enemy’s bar.
>"...is that," Rainbow finishes while dishing out the last bit of damage, the boss dropping to the floor in a flurry of animated blood and glittering particles.
 
>The two of you sit in silence, watching the cutscene following the victory, Rainbow grinning proudly with the controller sitting in his lap.
>"What would you do without me, dude?" he speaks up after the movie ends.
>What would you do without him?
>Although you haven’t known him for that long, he’s easily one of the best friends you’ve ever had, never once disappointing or abandoning you.
>There’s been more than one hasty, last-minute call, with you frantically searching for assistance in sporting events, tabletop RPGs, video games or - on some occasions - love advice.
>And he’s answered, without fail, every single time.
>It doesn’t hurt that he’s pretty quick at picking up new things and that he seems genuinely interested in making sure you pull through whatever it is you’re facing.
>Something about the two of you just clicks.
>You try to repay him as often as you can, but there are precious few instances allowing you to.
>Somehow you always seem to end up on the receiving end of the relationship.
 
>He’s also—to your mild annoyance—pretty popular with the girls.
>For a guy, the female portion of the ecosystem seems unusually willing to include him in their social circle, to the point where he spends a lot of his breaks and spare time grouped with chicks.
>Lucky fucker.
>Maybe it’s because he’s sporting a slightly more feminine build, being a bit shorter and less bulky than most guys.
>Maybe he’s just that charismatic.
>Whatever it is, he does share the wealth, putting in good words and opening doors for you wherever he can.
>Your last two relationships—although ultimately doomed to fail—you’ve managed to land on the back of his recommendations.
 
>"Hey!" your friend snaps his fingers in front of your face.
>"You okay? You’re not thinking about killing yourself because you suck at video games, are you?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of murder-suicide," you counter quickly.
"Can’t leave anyone knowing my secret alive, right?"
>Rainbow nods thoughtfully, one of his hands on his chin.
>"Yeah, you’ve got a point. Wanna do it right now?"
>The two of you giggle like idiots while you mime cutting into him with an imaginary sword, the betrayed champion doing his part and falling over on his back in beautiful agony.
>Proceeding to stab yourself in the gut, you fall down on top of him, tragically ending the tale of Rainbow and Anonymous Shakespeare style.
>You both play dead for a bit, with only the feeling of each other’s breathing assuring you of the contrary.
>Untangling yourselves before long, you manage to separate before the rising levels of homoeroticism cross an invisible threshold.
>Looks like you don’t have to buy all-new sets of colorful clothing and skintight jeans.
>Rainbow’s face is a little more flushed than yours, but he probably just doesn’t know the rules.
 
>"Alright," he continues after tugging his sweatshirt back in place, covering his slightly pronounced abs, "what now? Want to continue the game?"
"Eh, maybe later. I don’t even remember the story right now; it’s been so long."
>Rainbow nods.
>"It did come out a while ago. You really need to work on finishing these things quicker, you know."
"It’s come out two months ago, Rainbow. That’s not that long."
>"It is if you take into account all the new shit that came out," Rainbow argues, starting to count off game titles on his fingers.
>"It’s October, for crying out loud."
>As if struck by electricity, he suddenly jerks forward.
>"Which reminds me!"
>He digs around his back pocket for a moment before handing you a crumpled-up notepad page, some barely readable scribbles on top of it.
>"I did some digging and it turns out"—he pauses for a second, flashing you a bright grin with a smarmy eyebrow wiggle—"that Flitter’s birthday is coming up in two weeks."
>He points to the paper, where a date and an address are written down.
>"She said it’d be cool for you to come to her party as my plus one!"
"Fuck, really!?"
>Strands of his hair bobbing with the motion, he nods.
>"And I also found out that she’d really, really like the new album of this band here as a gift."
>He points to the names of what you assume are a pop group and an accompanying album title.
>"You should be able to get it in just about any record store."
"I’ve never even heard of them, man."
>"Eh, I think it’s some fangirl shit, you know? You’d think the age of gaudy boy bands is over, but—apparently—you’d be wrong."
>He shrugs.
>"Or at least as far as Flitter’s concerned. Trust me; you show up with this thing gift-wrapped in your hand and she won’t let you leave without at least a hug and a kiss on the cheek. What else do you want me to do, screw her for you?"
 
>Rainbow chuckles at his own joke, proud of the completeness of his reconnaissance, before you catch him in the tightest hug you’re comfortable giving a bro.
>"H-hey, stop it, dude. I know I’m making this easy for you but there’s no reason to become gay over it, right?"
>Ignoring his squirming, you continue the hug.
>He timidly returns the gesture after a bit, closing his arms around your back and squeezing lightly.
"Thank you, Rainbow; I really mean it," you search his eyes after finally letting go.
"I couldn’t ask for a better friend."
>"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off, his cheeks red.
>"Don’t sweat it, alright? Just... just be sure not to waste the opportunity this time."
>You’re not exactly an expert at reading subtext, but you do pick up on the note of wistfulness in your friend’s voice, as well as his awkward glance to the side.
>Taking a few seconds before speaking up again, you look between Rainbow and the piece of paper with the coordinates to heaven on it.
"So why don’t you have a go at her then?"
>"Huh?"
"Why don’t you get her the gift, if it’s as foolproof as you say it is? Fuck me; I don’t want to impose on this if you’ve had designs on her or something. I mean you’re as single as me right now and I owe you more than I’d like to remember already."
>You try to hand him back the paper.
"Here, you do it."
>Rainbow tries to grin, but you can see there’s something else in his expression.
>"No way, dude!" he shoves your hand away.
>"I would never try to stand in your way on this. Flitter’s really..."
>He struggles to find the words, his shoulders dropping.
>"...she’s just really not my type is all," he finishes lamely.
>Rainbow suddenly takes your hand in his, pushing it closed around the paper with renewed vigor.
>"Just take it with all my goodwill, alright?"
>You nod, not able to stop yourself from noticing how soft you friend’s hands are on yours, the slender fingers gently wrapped around your fist.
>"Fuck, sorry!" Rainbow quickly stammers after realizing what he did, pulling back with a sheepish grin.
>"N-no homo, right?"
"Right..."
 
>The two of you continue with the video game afterwards, progressing through the levels in relative silence.
>It’s not an uncomfortable one, but it does feel like something’s changed.
>Why wouldn’t he want to go after the girl himself?
>What is his type, if not her?
>Come to think of it, you don’t remember him ever having a girlfriend while you’ve known him.
>And you can’t really think of a reason why any guy would want to pass on Flitter, the girl with the reputation of being very, VERY accommodating towards any sort of advances made in her direction.
>It’s not that she’s a slut, but she does seem to be... grateful.
>And she’s also pretty experienced, probably.
>Fuck.
>You’re suddenly getting nervous about this.
>Even though this wouldn’t be your first time playing in the big leagues, the notion of having to—both figuratively and literally—please a girl as seasoned as her does have something scary about it.
 
"Hey, are you sure I’ll be fine?" you break your friend’s concentration, your voice coming out much quieter than you’d planed for it to.
>"Hm?" he turns to look at you.
"I mean we both know that Flitter is not exactly new to the dating world, right? What if I can’t, you know, keep up with her expectations?"
>Rainbow blinks at you a couple of times, the magenta of his eyes sparkling.
>"Seriously? That’s your concern?"
"Fuck you," you quickly bark, seeing the shadow of a smile playing on his lips.
"It’s not like I want to get nervous about this shit."
>Your panicked attempts at rationalization only manage to amuse your friend further, with the boy quickly having to hide his laughter behind his hand.
>"Bwahahaha... I... I never thought I’d see the day that you—of all people—are getting your panties in a twist over some girl, Anonymous. Seriously."
>Feeling the blush creeping into your cheeks, you try to argue.
"Come on, you know it’s been a while. I can’t exactly practice for this."
>Rainbow is laughing without any attempt at hiding it now, wiping tears out of the corners of his eyes.
>"You mean you can’t?" he manages to get out, pumping his balled fist in a crude gesture.
>"I’ll help you if you want."
 
>You sit silently, waiting for Rainbow to calm down.
"Finished?" you mockingly ask after he’s managed to catch himself a bit, still wiping the wetness from his eyes.
>"Ah, sorry, Anon. You’re just really adorable sometimes."
>Not the description you’d want to hear about yourself from your bro, but you’ll take it, you guess.
>"But seriously, what the fuck do you have to be scared about, huh? Just do what you do and sweep her off her feet. You know how it goes."
"Making it sound like I’m some sort of pickup artist, dude."
>"No, no," he shakes his head, "but you know what I mean. You understand how to get a girl’s heart to beat faster. Just... just be yourself, she’d be lucky to have that. I’m positive."
>Rainbow pauses for a second, apparently lost in thought before he realizes his silence.
>"And if she can’t appreciate that, fuck her! There’s enough where she came from, right?"
"I don’t know, RD, I’m starting to think I’d better find a keeper sooner rather than later."
>"Don’t worry, man," Rainbow grins proudly, "there’s at least one more chick I’m keeping warm for you. She’s a little bit shy about it though, so you can’t meet her yet."
"Really? Who?"
>"Nah, dude. I don’t think you’re quite ready for her. Just go impress Flitter and see if she’s the one! I wish you all the luck in the world."
>You hug your friend again, less forceful, although for some reason he seems more eager to return the gesture this time, holding you tightly for a few seconds.
>"From the bottom of my heart."
 
>You and Rainbow continue to joke about Flitter and her past accomplishments for a while, which really does quite a bit for calming you down, the nervousness from before already seeming silly in retrospect.
"Do you think I should shave?"
>"Huh?" your friend musters your chin.
>"I mean, yeah. Maybe leave a bit of a stubble like right now, right? It looks good; chicks dig that stuff."
"Not what I meant," you chuckle, unconsciously touching your face.
"Do you think I should shave, you know, down below?"
>It takes a moment—and you pointing towards your crotch with a suggestive expression—for Rainbow to catch your drift.
>"Come again!? Is that stuff to ask your bro about now?" he hisses, his face flushed with embarrassment.
"It’s exactly the stuff you ask a bro about, yes," you snap back.
"Who am I going to talk to, my mom?"
>Although he chuckles at your joke, Rainbow remains unconvinced.
>"No way am I talking about this with you!"
>He crosses his arms in front of his chest, cheeks pink.
"Come on, just tell me if you groom down there."
>Truth be told, it’d be fine not to talk about this if Rainbow is uncomfortable, but something about his reaction just makes you want to tease him a bit more.
>"I’m not!"
"You’re not grooming or you’re not telling?"
>"I’m not telling!"
"So you do shave?"
>"So what!? Gah, why are you such an asshole sometimes?"
>Laughing, you press on, enjoying an increasingly flustered and wildly gesturing Rainbow Dash.
"So what do you do, just shave it all?"
>"Fuck off!"
"Or do you just trim it a bit? Because that’s what I’ve been doing, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe someone like Flitter expects the whole works."
>Rainbow is silent, pointedly trying not to look at you.
"Help me out here, will you?"
 
>He sighs after a few more seconds, grumbling under his breath while still staring at the wall.
"Pardon?"
>"...I shave it, okay?!" he barks, his magenta eyes finding yours again, embarrassment clearly written on his face.
"All of it?"
>You should probably stop, but seeing the usually unshakable boy out of his depth for once is proving to be quite the spectacle.
>He’s almost cute in his squirming.
>"I leave a small strip of trimmed hair."
"Wait, what?"
>"What?"
"You have a landing strip?"
>It’s your turn to be caught off guard now.
"For real?"
>Realizing what he just told you with wide eyes, Rainbow clams up, turning away from you again.
"Dude, you’ve GOT to show me!"
>"WHAT?!"
>You can see the panic in his eyes, his anguish too delicious for you not to capitalize on it.
"Yeah, come on! Just pull down your shorts a bit and show me. Does the carpet match the drapes?"
>You point to his multicolored hair, prompting an almost feminine squeak from your friend.
>"Ah... You..."
>He’s bright red and not getting the words out.
>Nice.
>Now for the killing blow.
>With played mania you get closer to him, reaching for the waistband of his shorts, not—of course—to actually pull them off, but to just give the boy one last impulse and push him to his breaking point.
>He actually is cute, entirely overwhelmed and subject to your teasing.
 
>"N-no please, Anon!" he squeaks, his voice cracking while he scoots away from you.
>"Stop fucking around."
>You keep up the role of the molester, grabbing for him again, enjoying the panic in his eyes.
"Show me your pubes, Rainbow!" you growl with feigned lust in your voice.
"Be a bro!"
>You somehow end up on top of him, your friend panting below you with tears glistening at the corner of his eyes.
>"Anon, I..."
>You’re just about to decide you’ve had enough, when Rainbow’s expression suddenly changes, switching from scared to angry, a resolute scowl forming on his face.
>He pushes you off of him with a surprising amount of force, quickly getting on his feet and standing in front of you.
>He looks close to tears, his thumbs hooked into the elastic of his shorts.
>He wouldn’t...
>"Fine!" he barks, his voice hoarse.
>"You wanna see my pubes, here you go!"
"Fuck, Rainbow, wait! I was just messing with you!"
>You’re about to grab for his hands to stop this self-inflicted madness, but Rainbow is quicker, yanking down his shorts to his knees.
>You blink.
>He’s wearing... panties?
>They’re light pink, the kind that are made to closely hug to your skin, with a small blue ribbon at the front.
>You don’t even fully register the round softness of his thighs.
"Are you wearing p-"
>You don’t get to finish before Rainbow completes his dare, repeating the motion and pulling down his underwear.
 
"..."
>You’re pretty sure your jaw is moving, but no words come out of your mouth.
>You’re stuck looking between your friend’s face—his cheeks red-hot with blood and his magenta eyes glistening—and his crotch.
>His defiant expression only adds to your confusion.
"...the fuck?" you manage to mumble after a few solid seconds of staring, trying to fill the painful void until your hindbrain manages to catch up.
>Like described, a small, carefully manicured strip of pubic hair greets you from below his panties, matching the polychromatic sheen of the hair on his head.
>Below, a soft pair of lips is hiding between his thighs.
"Y-you’re a girl?"
>"Of course I’m a fucking girl, you dumb fuck!" Rainbow snaps almost immediately.
>"How many more hints do you need?"
"I... no... what?"
>"Jesus Christ, Anon, how daft are you."
>You blink at your friend, muttering.
"You’re a girl?" you reiterate.
>"Yes!"
"And no one knows?"
>"You’re the ONLY ONE who doesn’t know, you retard! It’s not like I tried to hide it or anything, you just assumed I was a guy from the get-go and I didn’t have the balls to clear it up."
"You don’t have any balls, you know," you point out as if on slapstick-autopilot, earning yourself a grunt and a hit you almost manage to dodge from the embarrassed girl.
>"No shit! Here!" she lifts her sweatshirt, exposing two small, perky breasts below.
>"I’ve got tits!"
>She spins around, bending forward slightly, pushing out two incredibly well-defined butt cheeks.
>"I’ve got an ass! And a snatch!" she finishes after turning again, pointing provocatively towards her crotch.
 
>Rainbow is getting more and more riled-up, her embarrassment from standing in front of you with her privates exposed quickly changing into what looks like angry excitement.
>"How did you not notice? We slept in the same tent on our camping trip and I was practically naked right next to you! Do you know how many people I had to tell we aren’t dating in the past? We hang out so much we should be lovers!"
>She catches herself, angrily panting down at you, waiting for your defense.
>You’re dead in the water, hopelessly trying to come up with anything to say.
"I’m... sorry."
>"You’re fucking right you’re sorry," Rainbow picks up again, although less accusing and more demanding this time, tears forming in her eyes again, making them sparkle ominously.
>"Don’t even think about dropping my ass, now that you know!"
>It all starts making sense now, her feminine build, her popularity with the girls, her refusing to go to the beach with you.
"Fuck me..." you mumble.
>"Well," Rainbow manages to chuckle, sheepishly pointing to your crotch, "you do have a boner."
"You’ve been showing me your pussy for the past five minutes, what do you expect to happen?"
>Before you can further defend yourself, Rainbow peels off her shorts and panties all the way and drops to her knees, straddling you.
>"This," she breathes before grabbing a hold of your face and planting a kiss on your lips.
>You instinctively give in to it, melting into the heat and softness of your best friend’s mouth, her tongue aggressively searching for yours.
>Your hands find their way to her ass, lightly squeezing her cheeks and eliciting a cute moan from the girl.
>The two of you keep exploring each other: you while still sorting through mildly confusing emotions about your friend, and her with the force of what you can only assume is months’ worth of held-back feelings.
>Your lips separate, allowing both of you to gasp for air.
>"You better believe this means we’re not going to that slut’s party, you hear?" Rainbow pants.
"And what about that other girl you said you had for me?"
>"I think you’re just about ready to meet her," she grins before starting to kiss you again.