>You wake up all on your own today
>No screaming Applebloom
>No p0ny snuggling up to you
>No sunlight piercing your eyelids
>You just wake up
>...Today will be a good day
>You rise from your double-long bed and grab some of the clothing Rarity made for you
>Then you head into the bathroom
>You relieve yourself and shower
>You're getting pretty good at using the diminutive p0ny showers
>After toweling off, you shave your face with your knife
>You're getting pretty good at this too
>But hopefully this is the last time you'll have use your knife
 
 
>It has been about a week since that fateful night
>And the acquisition of a brand new plow for your truck
>Yesterday was an important day
>And, by extension, so is today
>Yesterday was your first payday
>You brought home your first paycheck
>Or, rather, Pay sack full of bits
>You still have little idea of the actual value of bits
>But the sack was fairly heavy, and jingled reassuringly in your passenger seat
>You gave most of it to AppleJack to cover your continued lodging expenses
>But you kept a little for yourself
>For luxuries and little things
>Like shaving razors
>Today, that is your first objective
 
 
>You walk out of the bathroom and into the kitchen
>AppleJack is cooking breakfast
Morning AppleJack
>"Mornin' Sugarcube"
>She's just finished the last of the eggs, and brings them to the table
>As you both sit down to breakfast, her nostrils seem to...
>Widen
>Then she blushes ever so slightly
>And you don't like that look she's giving you
>You're part way through your first pancake when she speaks up
>"Anonymous, ya've been living in mah house long enough..."
Oh?
>"And Ah thank it's tahm we got ta know each other a little better"
>That is the one tone of voice you never
>In a million years
>Expected to come out of this mare
>Sultry
>"So whadya say Anonymous?  Care for a little romp in tha hay?"
 
 
>Oh no
>NO!
>Nononono
>You knew this issue would come up eventually
>But you are NOT ready to deal with it
>Not now
>Not so soon
>And she doesn't look like she'll take no for an answer
>So, you take the only course of action available to you
>You beat a hasty retreat
Well, uhhhh...
>She leans in closer
>"Yeah?"
I can't
>"Why not?"
I ummm... I have things to do in town today.  yeah
>"Really"
Yeah.  Things with people.
So I really must be going!
>You run out into the entryway and jump in your boots
>You don't even lace them up
>You can do that later
>You seize your cold weather gear and jump in your truck
>And drive off towards town a little faster than necessary
 
 
>When you can no longer see apple trees, you stop the truck
>Then you finish putting your gear on
>Maybe Rainbow recruited Applejack for a joke
>Yeah, maybe that's it
>Rainbow does love her some good pranks
>You wish this with all your might as you continue towards town
 
 
>Rarity said she had a surprise for you yesterday
>So you decide Carousel Boutique is your first stop
>You park your truck by Twilight's, since it's the only open spot in town
>And walk over to Carousel Boutique
>It's not that far, and you need to clear your head
>Surely Rarity is above such petty exploits, you think as you push through the doors
>And there you would be wrong
>Her head turns to the jingle of the bell
>You haven't seen bedroom eyes since school
>But if memory serves
>She's leveling a pretty good pair at you right now
>"Oh, hello Anonymous.  You must be here for the surprise"
I uhhhh...
>She trots over
>"Darling, you must have those clothes off!"
What
>"I need to take your..."
>She bumps her flank against your leg
>"Measurements"
>Her attempts at flirting would be downright hilarious if you didn't know she was dead serious
asdfhalkjbljshfhakesjalskjd
>you whip around and run right out the door
>Then you sprint back to Twilight's
>Heads turn as you run through the streets
 
 
>You fly through the front door of the housebrary and slam it behind you
>Then you slide your back down it
>Twilight was reading a book
>was being the keyword
>Now she's staring at you
>And...
>Panting?
Twilight, what the flying fuck is going on around here
>"What?"
>She seems distracted
>By you
>She gets out from behind the table and starts walking towards you
>You stand up and meet her half way
>She looks up at you
>"Oh, Anonymous..."
Not you too
>"Huh?"
Twilight, every mare I've run into today has been throwing herself at me
>You crouch down and take her head firmly in your hands
What is happening!
>"Oh Celestia, nop0ny told you..."
What
>"About Estrus"
 
 
Could you please explain?
>She comes around a little
>"Estrus happens twice a year and lasts for roughly a week.  During estrus, mares feel the, well..."
Out with it
>"The overwhelming urge to copulate"
>"Now, if you don't mind, let's head upstairs.  I'd like to do some... Research..."
>Oh fuck
>So that's why...
>Wait a minute
Why are you attracted to me then?  I'm not a stallion
>The question gives her pause
>"No, no you're not.  But you are a male."
>"Part of estrus is pheromone based.  It looks like you got lucky"
>Great
>You have to live in an AXE commercial for a week
>Twilight looks up at you again
>"Anonymous..."
>You look straight into her eyes
Twilight stop.  I know you.  You're better than this
>This seems to renew her resolve
>"I... I am better than this!"
Now, I might be staying here for a bit
>"Why?"
I passed a lot of mares on the way here Twilight.  A lot of them.
I don't know what will happen if I go back outside
So, in that light, do you have any questions to ask?  It might take your mind off... You know...
>"Excellent!  Let me get my notebook"
 
 
>The questions do indeed seem to keep Twilight from trying to get in your pants
>They stray into human reproduction every now and then
>But you're quick to remind her to stay away from that particular subject
>After the two of you finish lunch, she asks about how your pistol works
>Why the slide goes forward, how it punches the primer, etc.
>It's been needing a good cleaning for a while anyway
>So you ask her if she can go get your cleaning kit out of your truck and hand her your keys
>When she returns, you swiftly begin dissassembly
>Soon enough, you're oiling the individual parts on the table while explaining what each one does
>Twilight scribbles furiously the entire time
>When you hear the door open behind you, you freeze
>Then you set the slide down and turn around
>What
>The
>Fuck
 
 
>In front of you stands some sort of insect
>It looks like a pony, warped and twisted by some malevolent deity
>It has bulging, pupilless blue eyes
>And holes through the horn and all four of its legs
>In front of the saddlebags on its back a pair of insectile wings flutter restlessly
>The tail is a similar wisp of clear exoskeleton
>"Howdeh Twalit"
>Oh man
>You haven't heard impressions this bad since the Spy tried to impersonate the Engineer
Twilight, what is that thing?
>It eyes you nervously
>"What thing?  Anonymous, do you feel alright?"
It's a goddamn bug-p0ny-thing
>"Anonymous, that's AppleJac-"
>You're interrupted as "AppleJack" shoots a fireball at you from its jagged horn
>That ain't good
>The fireball dissipates just short of you
>Whew
>If that had gone a foot further, this place would be a towering inferno
>Maybe that's why the fireball dissipated when it did
>Then the bug thing lowers its horn and charges
 
 
>The charge plants the horn straight into your leg
>Fuck, that hurt
>Goddamit
>SHIIIIIIIIIIT
>It yanks its horn out and prepares for another poke
>Which is when you utilize your size and weight advantage
>By falling on top of it
>Your pistol is in pieces on the table right now
>So no help there
>That leaves your knife
>You draw your knife and stab into the thing's throat
>The knife sails through it like so much hot butter, and sticks into the wood floor below
>You pull the knife out with a wet sucking noise and stab a few more times
>It bleeds black liquid in an ever widening puddle on the floor
>Then you flip the knife over in your grip
>You bring the pommel down in a vicious arc on the thing's head
>CRACK
>CRACK
>CRACK
>CRUNCH!
>the head caves in
>Panting, you pull yourself back off the corpse
>Adrenaline is a hell of a drug
 
 
>Twilight is looking at you
>She looks...
>Frightened
>You hear someone yelling
>It's a deep throated roar of pain and rage
>Oh wait, that's you
>You close your mouth
>Twilight shakes her head and drops her look of terror
>"Anonymous, that was..."
Brutal?
>"very"
>You grimace
>The pain from your leg is returning
Twilight, help me
>You set the knife off to the side, and start yanking off your snow pants
>You had kept them on, reasoning that the more layers of fabric you had on the better
>Then you start on your pants
>A purple glow surrounds them and they slide off your legs
>You look down at the wound
>It's not nearly as bad as you expected
>Thank you snow pants
Do you have a first aid kit?
>"I have something even better"
>The purple aura envelopes your leg where the stab wound is
>Then it starts to inch up towards your boxers...
TWILIGHT, FOCUS GODDAMNIT
>"RIGHT!  Right, sorry!"
>The purple glow creeps back down your leg and over the wound
>As you watch, the muscle knits itself back together
>Then the skin closes up over it
>Damn
>This magic is really something
 
 
>You reach down to touch the spot in wonder
>"Don't!"
Why?
>"The flesh may look fine, but it's still weak.  You can walk on it, but you shouldn't do anything strenuous for a day or so"
>you retract your hand
Well that's good to know.  Thank you Twilight.
>She looks at you, then blushes a deep red
>Oh, right
>Your pants are off
Can you go to my truck and get a fresh pair of pants?  They should be in the back
>"I can do that"
>You toss your keys to her once again
>Soon enough, Twilight walks back through the door
>She tosses the pants at you
>You pull them on
>The area where you were stabbed IS a little tender
Twilight, what is that thing?
>"That's a changeling.  It assumes the forms of other p0nies.  If you hadn't been here, hadn't been able to see through it's disguise..."
But I was.  And I did.
>She perks up a bit
Why was it here?  And why did it attack me?
>"The changelings are at an uneasy truce with Equestria.  That one was probably sent to kill me, but you blew its cover"
>"OHMYGOSH I need to send a letter to Celestia!"
>"Spike is at Rarity's.  I need to go get him.  Will you be all right on your own for a while?"
Yeah, I think I can manage.  Could you do me a favor and ask Rarity to patch these though?
>You pick up your snow pants
I can't be walking around with holes in them
>"Sure, I can do that"
 
 
>Twilight heads out the door with your snow pants
>So you go back over to the table and start putting your pistol back together
>You won't be caught with your figurative pants down again if you can help it
>By the time you finish, Twilight re-enters the library with a protesting Spike in tow
>"Awwww, come on Twilight, I just wa-"
>He notices the changeling on the floor
>Then he gulps
>"Okay"
>Twilight thrusts a scroll and ink into his hand
>Then she begins to dictate
>"Dear Princess Celestia,"
>"It is with utmost regret that I write to inform you of a recent changeling attack upon myself.  Had Anonymous, the human I've written about previously, not made a timely intervention, I could quite possibly be dead and replaced by now."
>"I await your response and direction"
>"Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle"
>As Spike finishes writing, Twilight goes to a cabinet and withdraws a royal yellow ribbon
>She hands the ribbon to Spike, who uses it to tie the scroll together
>Spike then swiftly breathes fire on the scroll and sends it on its way
 
 
>"So, ummmm"
We should probably clean this up before somep0ny walks in on it
>"Yes.  Yes, let's do that"
I can move the body...
>You pick the corpse up
>Then you pull the saddlebags off and set them on the table
>Can't hurt to see what it was carrying
Where do you want it?
>"Just go put it in the garbage can for now.  We can't have it bleeding all over everything"
>You take the fresh corpse into the kitchen and drop it in the garbage can
>Then you wash the blood off your hands
>When you return, Twilight's horn is glowing
>Most of the blood is in a nearby bucket
>And she's working a scrub brush across the floor
>Next to her is another bucket full of soapy water and a few rags
>You pick up another scrub brush and start scrubbing alongside her
 
 
>You're breaking for dinner when a glowing speck appears in front of the two of you
What is that?
>Before Twilight can respond, the speck widens into an oval
>Through which you can see...
>Well, this must be Twilight's Princess Celestia
>Peering at both of you is the head of a white unicorn
>It has a flowing purple, blue and green mane that ripples in the wind
>Twilight looks awestruck
>Then it speaks
>"Twilight!  Twilight, are you alright?"
>"Yes... better than alright, actually...."
>"You said in your letter there was an attack!"
>"There was, but Anonymous here took care of it"
>She points a hoof at you
Hello
>"Ah yes, Twilight has written a great deal about you... Anonymous"
>"Now then, there have been similar attacks all over the realm."
>"Twilight, I need you and the rest of the Elements to come to Canterlot for your safety"
>"The train line is down, and I've already tried teleporting you, but it's being... blocked"
I may be able to help you there
>"What?"
I don't know how much Twilight's told you about my truck, but if there are roads to your Canterlot it can make it there, snow or not
>"Really?"
Cross my heart
>"Very well.  Twilight, I expect you in Canterlot as soon as Anonymous's "Truck" can manage"
>The oval closes
 
 
Twilight, I've been meaning to ask you.  What, exactly, are the Elements?
>"The Elements of Harmony are the most powerful magical items known to p0nykind."
>"They currently reside in Canterlot.  There are six, and each can only be used by a specific p0ny.  It just so happens those p0nies are myself and my friends"
>"I am the Element of Magic"
>Makes sense
>"Rainbow Dash is the Element of Loyalty"
>"AppleJack is the Element of Honesty"
>"Rarity is the Element of Generosity"
>She did provide you with clothing...
>"Pinkie Pie is the Element of Laughter"
>Of course
>"And Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness"
>As Twilight finishes, it dawns on you
>Are you a cool enough dude to drive a truck full of horny p0nies through miles of snow?
>Guess you'll find out
Well, we have some packing to do then
>"Really?"
Yeah, if Canterlot is as far away as I think it is
Except I'm not sure I can go outside.  Do you think you and the others could manage it?
>"I wouldn't know what to bring..."
We'll need a tent, food, bedding...
>"That's an awful lot to remember"
Well here, let's make a list
>"A LIST?"
>She looks at you with a twinkle in her eye
>It's like Christmas come early for her...
 
 
>"...So we'll need a portable stove?"
Yeah, if we want to be warm at night
>Twilight has a scroll and quill hovering in front of her
>You've been dictating to her for quite a while
>You don't know what will happen if you go outside in daylight with Estrus on
>So you're having Twilight gather the supplies
>You'll load them into your truck in the morning
>"Anything else?"
No, that should cover it.  Are you sure Rarity can have a tent big enough ready by tomorrow?
>"She's the most talented seamstress in P0nyville.  If anyp0ny can do it, it's her."
>You get up to leave
>It's starting to get dark out, and you think you can make it to your truck without notice
>But wasn't there something else you were supposed to do?
>A brown bag on the table catches your eye
>Oh, right
>You were going to go through the changeling's stuff
>You pick up the changeling's bag
>"What are you doing?"
The changeling had to have this bag on it for a reason
>You open the bags and remove several apples
>A picture of Twilight
>And an unlabeled jar of clear liquid
>You open the jar
What is this?
 
 
>You bring it up to your nose and take a whiff
>Then you nearly drop the jar
>The stuff smells worse than skunk spray, and that's saying something
>You put the lid back on and put the jar down on the table
>"What is it?"
I have no idea, but it reeks to high heaven
>"Clear... colorless... Pungent odor...."
>"Uh oh"
I don't like that tone of voice
>"Anonymous, that's Rotten Death"
>how original
And that is?
>"Rotten Death is an extremely effective delayed action poison derived from a certain flower that grows in the Everfree"
>"It has no effect upon introduction, but a few hours later the victim starts smelling just like the poison"
>"Shortly afterward, they rapidly rot away from the inside.  It's a horrible way to go"
>So it had this poison
>And it was probably going to...
Please tell me there's a cure
>"There is"
Well then let's have some
>"But it's equally deadly if you aren't actually poisoned"
So you have to wait for the symptoms to manifest before administering it?
>"Yeah"
>"Off the top of my horn, Fluttershy is the only p0ny that has it, for animals that accidentally consume the plant"
>Hmmm
>By now, it's fairly late
>You spent the last two hours planning the trip with Twilight
Do you think she'll mind if I spend the night...
>"I really don't.  Beneath that timid exterior, Fluttershy is one of the kindest p0nies around"
 
 
>You're putting on your cold weather gear
Well, I'd best get going now.  Will you have the supplies here tomorrow morning?
>"I will"
See you then
>You head out the door
>A dense cloud cover is rolling over, so it's dark enough to move without attracting too much attention
>And your black snow gear only helps that along
>You creep to your truck
>Then you get inside and start 'er up
>Time to go to Fluttershy's
>You drive out of town, surprisingly not trailing a herd of mares
>After a half hour of driving, you park your truck outside her cottage
>It's the same as you remember it, bird feeders and all
>You approach the door and knock three times
>You can hear a commotion inside, then the door opens
>You remembered to take off your scarf this time, so Fluttershy doesn't run from you
>Instead, she blushes
>"Oh... um, hello, Anonymous..."
Hi Fluttershy.  There was a changeling attack at Twilight's, and I might have been poisoned with 'Rotten Death'"
I'm told you're the only p0ny around with the cure?
>"Oh... Oh my!  Do come in..."
I'd like to spend the night, if you don't mind
>"No... no, not at all..."
>She eyes you up and down
 
 
>After you crouch through the front door, you remove your cold weather gear
>She has a nice fire going in her fireplace
>She follows you in to what seems to be a combination living room bedroom
>"Could... Could you help me?"
What do you need?
>"I have beds you can use... but they're in the unheated guest room..."
>"I... I um, I would like some help moving them, if that's alright?"
Certainly
>You follow her down a hallway and into a small bedroom
>Inside are two beds separated by an end table
>First, you take the pillows off and hand them to Fluttershy
>Then you take a bed under each arm and head back to the living room
>Good thing they don't have head or foot boards
>Fluttershy follows you back into the livingroom
>"so strong..." You hear her mutter
>You glance back at her and her blush deepens a few shades
>You set the beds down end to end, and Fluttershy places the pillows
Do you have any... larger blankets?
>"I... I do.  For the larger animals"
>She retrieves one from a hallway closet and gives it to you
>You set it on the far end of the two beds
>Now all that remains is to see if you've been poisoned
 
 
>You've been sitting here for a few hours
>And you haven't started literally reeking of death
>So you're pretty sure the changeling didn't have the poison on its horn
>Fluttershy's reaction to Estrus seems to be a constant blush when in your presence
>She's far too timid to try anything, however
>Small miracles, you suppose
>After your sleeping situation was set, you told her about the dawning trip to Canterlot
>Then, silence reigned for a while
>Eventually you asked her how the moose was doing
>She said "Philbert" made a full recovery three days after your intervention
>Good for Philbert
>Talk drifted to the local flora and fauna
>This place has deer and moose, along with all the little critters typical of a mixed deciduous and pine forest
>Most of the large predators hibernate, with the notable exception of timber wolves and manticores
>She had to explain what a manticore is to you
>You sincerely hope you never run into one on a dark night
>But you're fairly sure your pistol will make short work of it if you do
>Fluttershy clearing her throat brings you back to the present
>"This... this is when I usually go to sleep, um... if that's alright"
Let's go to bed then
>You set your glasses on an end table, remove your knife from your belt and empty your pockets
>But you don't take your clothes off
>She looks mildly disappointed
>After your experiences today, you don't entirely trust Fluttershy to not try anything while you sleep
>And you are fairly sure that, dextrous as they may be, hooves can't manage the zipper on your pants
>Not without waking you up anyway
>Fluttershy turns off the light as you lay down and cover up with the blanket
>She walks over to her own bed and lays down
Good night Fluttershy
>"Good night Anonymous"
 
 
>The deep booming of thunder rouses you from your sleep
>Then, as you come around, you hear the patter of hail on the roof
>By the glowing of the fire you can see Fluttershy standing in front of you
Yes?
>"A-A-Anonymous, c-can I...."
What?
>"I-I-I'm s-scared of t-the t-t-thunder..."
>You reach over to put your hand on her back
It can't be tha-
>Jesus criminy
>She's trembling
>You can sympathize
>You used to be terrified of thunderstorms
>Until your brother locked you outside in the middle of one and you had to sleep in the car
>You lift up your blanket
Come here
>She's moving at "here"
>She curls up on top of your chest, still trembling
>You pull the blanket back over both of you
>She jumps a little bit every time thunder sounds
>Damn, is she tense
>Nobody can sleep that tense, and you're not going to get any either if she keeps jumping like that
>There's only one way you know of to get rid of tenseness like that...
 
 
>Against your better judgement, you begin to press and knead her tense muscles
>She tenses even more at your touch, then relaxes slightly
>Fluttershy is soft
>Ho boy, is she oft
>As you work, she gradually stops her trembling
>She releases small sighs every now and then
>Then you get to the base of her wings
>If you thought her body was tense, her wings are like concrete
>When you start on them, she gives an "eep!"
>You open your eyes
>She is staring directly into your own
>Her face is red as freshly spilled blood
Fluttershy?
>"Don't"
>"Stop"
>Whatever
>You can't imagine she gets work like this done on them often
>So you continue, slowly working out the tension centers in her wings
>She bites down on your shirt collar
>When you've relieved the last constricted muscle, you run your fingers down through her mane
>Then through the feathers of her wings in a final check
>She rears up a bit and gasps
>Then you feel her head hit your chest, fast asleep
>Good
>Now you can get some sleep yourself....