>You have just got finished cutting your grass. >You have raked your cuttings up into a small hill of hay for your fluffy. >It’s a hot day and you are in sandals and shorts. >You walk inside to get your fluffy pony. >You bring her outside to feast on your cuttings when you notice a stray fluffy already eating them. >It is a light grey male unicorn with a dark gray mane. >”Oooo, fwen shawe nummies!” You fluffy yells and jumps out of your arms. >”Hold on princess, that might be a mean fluffy!” >The grey unicorn turns around and sees your fluffy. >”Stay way! This my nummies!” It yells. >”Wah, nuu daddah made nummies for fwuffy! Fwuffy shawe nummies!” She says with a smile. >”No! Des my nummies now, you weave. >Your fluffy starts to tear up, “But dada made nummies for fwuffy….” >You walk up and say, ”Ok there mister bully, those belong to my fluffy and you need to leave.” >The unicorn puffs its cheeks and starts throwing sparkles at you. >”You go way munsta! These my nummies! This my awea now!” >”Listen guy, you’re upsetting my fluffy and if you don’t leave I’ll have to get my sorry stick.” >”Me no cawe! My nummies! Go way or me make yoo sowwy!” >Your fluffy is out right bawling now, “Y-yoo meanie f-fwuf-fy! Y-y-yoo bad to d-d-dadda! Wh-why m-m-meani!” >The unicorn stomps at your fluffy scaring her making her run back to the house crying the whole way. >”Yoo weave too or me make yoo cwy!” >You sigh, you hate being mean. You turn and walk back to the house. >PPppffffffffttttttttppppfftttTTtt! >You feel the hot steamy liquid shit rolling down the back of your legs and onto your sandals. >”HAHAHAHA!! Me tell hoomin go way! Me make hoomin sowwy!” You hear the unicorn fluffy gloat. >You walk to your house hearing the unicorn resume it’s eating. >Your fluffy is hiding behind a trashcan crying as you go into your house. >You walk to the closet and grab the broom. >You turn and stop, you put back the broom and grab the car radio antennae. >You walk back outside to where the grey unicorn is, it looks up and sees you. >It faces you and puffs its cheeks again. >”Yoo go way or me make yoo sowyy again!” it yells. >You get into a fencing stance with the antennae, “A duel then!” >The fluffy runs up and butts your leg with all the force it can muster. >”Me gif owwies to dum munsta hoomin!” It yells angrily. >You step back bringing the tip of the antennae down hard across the bridge of the unicorn’s nose. >Its face flies down into the dirt, it starts to back pedal to get away from you. >”AHHHHH!! Why yoo hewt me! Yoo meanie!” >In a sweeping motion you swipe the sides of the fluffy’s face hitting both cheeks. >*wack*wack* >”NUUUUU!!!” it yells with tears coming down its face. >Welts rise almost immediately where you struck. >The fluffy turns to run away exposing its back side to you. >You focus on the rear end of the slowly fleeing fluffy. >*wackitywackitywackitywackitywackitywack* >”AHHHHHH! Hewp! Hewp munsta attacking fwuffy!” the grey unicorn screams. >It is running and jumping in between swipes. >It poops and pees the entire time in pain and panic. >The fluffy sees your over turned wheel barrow and runs underneath it to get away from you. >You say, “Come on out, all will be forgiven.” >The unicorn comes out, “Weally!” >”No!” *Wack!* You hit it in the bridge of its nose again. >”Waaahhh!!! Meanie hoomin twick fwuffy!” it says trying to run away again. >You start hitting its rear with all your might. >*WACK* “You will leave this yard!” >*WACK* “You will never return!” >*WACK* “You got that!” >*WACK* >”Waahhhhh! Waahhh!!! Fwuffy sowwy! Fwuffy weave! Pwease stop with owwies and ouchies!” it cries. >You chase it to the end of your yard then kick it into the woods. >You see it running away crying the whole time and welts all over its face and rear. >You spray off the shit from your legs and sandals then walk to your fluffy. >”Daddy took care of that meanie fluffy, you can eat now.” >The fluffy sniffles and hugs you, “Tank yoo dada..” >”No problem, now who wants to eat some fresh grass and to play with blocks!” >Your fluffy raises her hooves, “Oooo! Oooo! Me dada! Me!” >You smile and your fluffy is laughing, life is good.