By: Seaswirl @4chan.org/mlp/
 
>I was six years old the first time I said I was "Great and Powerful"
>I pushed another foal off of the hill and burned his face with sparks
>My uncle didn't even ask why
>I was new to the school and wanted to be a hero
>So I tried to protect a filly from some bullies
>She didn't ever want to talk to me after that
>They were all scared of me
>So I kept it up
>I studied hard without any friends to distract me
>I learned everything and anything that was flashy
>Couldn't scare any other pony into loving me
>Went to every dance, alone
>Just did tricks in the corner, always stole the show
>Until the actual dancing, then I was alone
>Ten years later, I own nothing but a cart and some clothes
>Every new town I manage to impress some idiots with my act
>But when I invite them inside my cramped home
>When I try to be honest
>When I show them the real me
>They leave
>I'm nearly twenty nine, and still a lonely virgin
>And I don't know how to stop
 
>Yesterday was the worst day of my life
>I put on my usual show
>Two special kids I was trying to role model "you can do anything" nearly kill us all
>They can't understand hyperbole and actually lure a huge fuckoff monster into town
>Looking into that Ursa's eyes I felt a sinking in my stomach even worse than celebrating another birthday alone
>Some other filly saves the day
>She was greater and more powerful than I could ever hope to be
>I think she was the mare I've been pretending to be my whole life
>Ridiculously gifted, surrounded by friends, probably even has a dozen boys vying for her love
>And all I have is a smashed cart
>I shouted and vaguely threatened her when I ran away
>I just didn't want them to get close, not when I stank of gunpowder and urine
>Curled up in the gnarled roots of an ancient tree near the forest
>Kept warm by a cape that's the same color as the big dumb purple filly who ruined me
>I can't stop crying
>I've lost my home
>Every bit and anything of value
>I was hungry
>But the worst pain of all was the dreadful feeling in my heart
>I was in love
 
>Morning came
>Feel wet, grimy with dew and dirt, still vaguely stink of gunpowder and urine, unkempt mane, tired eyes
>The Great and Powerful Trixie would rather be caught dead than in such a state
>But regular Trixie would have to do
>Regular Trixie has to be on the outside today
>Somehow
>Back in town not one pony will talk to me
>Some say hello, others jeer, some cheer, some want another show
>The real Trixie doesn't want to do that anymore
>But the Great and Powerful Trixie tells them that they don't deserve another show
>She makes me curse them with minor charms until they leave me alone
>As if I could be more alone at all
>Purple pony lives in a library
>The wooden door in front of me defies me
>Great and Powerful Trixie wants to knock it down, fill the library with smoke and light, and demand Purple come down to face her in a magical duel
>Regular Trixie wants to run and hide
>This wooden door carries twice the fear and dread the Ursa ever could
>I'd rather face the bear alone than knock
>I never get the chance to run away
>That cute little bitch is staring at me
>She looks so nice with her little scarf and saddlebags
>The smell of dusty books drifts past her
>Invisible odor, such a subtle touch
>Completely the opposite of anything I used to do
>But it wrecked my heart
>I'm a mess
>She asks me why I'm blocking her stoop
>"You will never have the grace or talent of the Most Amazing Great and Powerful Trixie!"
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
>"But, you have shown her that you deserve a private rematch! Tonight, in this library, just after sunset!"
 
>Her head is cocked almost sideways
>She's frowning
>I'm sneering at her too
>It's my 'about to cry' face
>But she accepts my challenge
>Says to show up around eight
>My heart skips a beat when she says she'll be "ready for me"
>Even if it was just an articulate groan
>And thus, the Great and Powerful Trixie asked a pony on her first date
>Regular Trixie would have been happy with a daisy sandwich though
>As if she could even do something that simple anymore
>Yesterday I even had the special kids running out for fast food for me
>I can cast the most amazing spells but I have trouble ordering lunch face to face
>Most of the next twelve hours are wasted by the town fountain
>I sort of scrounged up all the bits tossed in the pool
>A charity fund for everything the town took from me
>After all, what price can you put on a filly's heart?
>I tried to honestly make money too
>But not one pony wanted to see my tricks after yesterday
>Only one pony would tip me even a single bit for the most amazing display of waterworks via an original spell that I created myself
>It was the bitch who's hair I turned green
>She said something about being the embodiment of generosity while dropping the coin in the mud in front of me
>I let her know where to mail the rest of the donation
>I have a PO box in Canterlot
>That's the address of my 'mansion' to send all fan mail
>The address of my 'estate' slips off my tongue like every other lie I've ever told
>Compared to my stagecoach even living in a library like Purple would be sort of like a mansion
>Why can't I fantasize about living in wealth anymore?
>Why do I want to live in a library with some pony I met yesterday?
>As though it were the greatest thing I could dream of
>This is going to be the most difficult trick of my life
>For the first time in fifteen years I'm having performance anxiety
 
>It was almost time
>The Clever and Amazing Trixie managed to get away with bathing in the town square under the guise of a magic show
>The Wicked and Cunning Trixie also managed to scrape up enough bits for dinner for two
>It was sort of the first time I ever actually thought about buying two meals
>The Great and Powerful Trixie was going to be the stallion in the relationship
>So that meant that regular Trixie had to put her money where her big mouth was
>Maybe Purple wouldn't mind paying for the next date
>That is how it worked, right?
>Of course it was
>After all, I spent all afternoon spying on the ponies eating together across the square
>Colts and fillies, fillies and fillies, colts and colts
>Nobody would assume anything if we went here
>Just friends
>Even if I don't know what 'just friends' do either
>The summer sun is nearly set now
>I'm walking to the library in this warm night
>Nearly freezing to death on the inside
>What if she already ate?
>What if she doesn't want to even talk to me?
>My hooves can't stop shaking on the pavestones
>Even my magic is jittery
>I had intended to make three strong, powerful, commanding knocks
>Instead my magic just sort of jittered the iron knocker in a staccato pattern
 
>A blue pony answered the door
>She was hella butch looking too
>Did Purple already have a girlfriend?
>Was she seriously twisted like me, but had even already managed to find another weird pony to be with her?
>Was she seriously just a perfect, problemless version of myself?
>"W-who are you?"
>She reminded me that I had humiliated her.
>She also moved out of the way and with a sweep of her hoof showed me the other ponies I had cursed onstage
>I would have hung myself right then and there if there were any rope
>"W-What is the meaning of this?! The Great and Powerful Trixie grants you an honorable chance to redeem yourself and you assemble a gang to fight her with?"
>Purple looks ashamed for a second
>But then she starts laughing
>Says her friends were just here to watch me make a fool of myself again
>Those weren't her words, but that was what she meant.
>I sort of forgot we were supposed to have a rematch
>I daydreamed about buying her an oat and hay smoothie for hours
>"T-This is not a SHOW, The Great and Powerful Trixie does not want an audience! This was supposed to be a private affair and I will not suffer any distractions!"
>They aren't leaving
>I don't know what to do
>They're all staring at me
>Why is this bothering me?
>Why am I sweating so badly?!
>I have to get out of this trap
>"I demand we step outside, this instant!
 
>The dumb hick pony blocks the doorway
>Pink and yellow sit on the landing above watching me
>White and blue are flanking me
>Purple heartstealer is standing front and center
>And she slowly shakes her head, staring at me
>With such beautiful eyes
>She says that leaving this library simply isn't an option
>Something about not endangering Ponyville again
>How I was trapped in here until I accepted her lesson on friendship
>I was about to cry again
>Which meant I was snarling full force trying to hide it
>I can't stop my hooves from randomly tapping the boards
>This is going all wrong and I can't stop it
>"The Intelligent and Amazing Trixie will show you how little you truly know about magic! Friendship is most certainly not magic, or how else would I stand before you, the most gifted and talented pony in all of Equestria? You cannot even beat me in a game of magic trivia!"
>Why can't I stop doing this
>Great and Powerful Trixie could never be loved by any pony
>I need to be the real me
>I need to stop this
>I can't ruin my only shot
>She asks me some stupid question about a pony that died a thousand years ago
>I defy her and reassert that the contest was a 'practical' exam
>My horn glows with magic, and I demand she guess what I was about to do
>She smiles!
>She actually smiles! This is a game she might even enjoy, and the real, the REAL Trixie made it up!
>She guesses the book I was slothfully charging up to levitate and whips it right off the shelf for me
>And then it was her turn
 
>Her eyes were closed
>Her moist lips were slightly parted
>The slight smile showed a few teeth
>I could feel the threads of magic in the room twisting
>She was about to levitate the cute little griffon statutes out of the alcoves behind her
>It was an easy guess, she was as subtle as a train
>All the stupid ponies watching even clapped for me when I got it
>They don't realize how condescending they were being
>And if there's one thing the Great and Powerful Trixie hates, it's being talked down to
>"That's it? Please, you were practically shouting your intentions! Have you no idea how to be discreet? Even the mudponies could feel that one coming!"
>Hick horse snorted behind me, but I didn't care about her feelings
>Real me didn't mean to be racist, but I wasn't focused on that right now
>I was in the middle of impressing Purple with something novel she'd never tried before
>And neither of us would fail to see a show through to the end
>With a stony smile and the faintest glow of my horn, I look her in the eye
>Her eyes screwed shut again, she's gently examining every thread of magic in the room
>But I know how to be subtle
>She can't guess it
>And I flick out every candle in the room with little more than a breath
>"Your turn."
>A quiet whisper in the darkness
>Streetlamp light paints a windowsill silhouette on her
>A gentle purple glow of her horn brushes her friends in the corners
>She wants to relight the chandelier, as subtle as an elephant while drawing her strands of magic together
>I feigned difficulty, drawing closer to her face
>Master Showmare Trixie, and Reguar Trixie want the same thing right now
>We want it so bad
 
>She exhaled right in my face
>A big wet breath, she clearly didn't know I'd crept so close to her
>I could taste it too
>That stale breath was delicious to me
>And I hadn't eaten in over twenty four hours
>So forgive me for being a little voracious
>I cocked my head the same way she does when she thinks about something
>This was the Great and Powerful Trixie doing her best, but letting the real me call the shots
>This was the perfect show, and she would keep her hand hidden until the flare
>I let my own horn glow, to no end other than appearing busy.
>Purple was holding her breath now
>Did she think she was about to win?
>That she could actually fool the Great and Powerful Trixie?
>I deeply and greedily drink in another of her exhaled breaths
>This is it
>Maybe her friends are starting to realize that this wasn't supposed to be a public show
>But this was going to be even bigger than yesterday
>The butterflies are about to burst out of my stomach
>But my stage persona saves me
>I'm starting to appreciate her more than ever
>With a powerful and commanding whisper I play my card
>"You're casting a love spell"
>And I kiss her
 
>I masterfully played my card
>I set it up just like one of the hundreds of romance novels I had read
>Although I guess real life never goes like the books
>She was so surprised she sputtered and spit all over my face
>While she reared back and tripped over a bench all her friends gasped
>Except the pink one, she let out a long and obnoxious 'oooooooo'
>When I surprised her she let her spell snap, lighting all the candles at once
>All the mood and romance was gone now
>I was standing in plain light, blushing as hard as Twilight was, with the piercing stares of five other ponies burning away at me
>I've never even felt this bad when I was heckled for the very first time
>It was worse than when the filly I saved back then said she hated me and I was a monster
>Twilight sat up, and tried to wipe her mouth with her foreleg
>Although she was shaking badly enough that she just sort of smeared the spit around on her cheek
>I stood there proudly and haughtily
>Real me was dead now. Great and Powerful Trixie was going to save my body at least.
>Purple looks at my hooves, to her friends, out the window and back to me.
>She says "T-t-trixie..."
 
>"Get the fuck out of my tree"
 
>My heart stopped beating. It felt like she has cursed it to turn into stone.
>I couldn't see or breathe.
>Tears streamed out of my eyes
>This was the worst possible thing that could have happened
>They're all staring at me
>Hick pony is holding the door open.
>I want to scream. I want to scream cry and smash the statuettes and run away as fast as my legs will carry me.
>But the Great and Powerful Trixie would never do something so shameful as that.
>And she proudly trots out the door with her head held high.
>Even if she can't stop the tears.
 
>I coolly trot through the town, head held high
>It's a beautiful summer night, there are a dozen couples together in the street with me
>The clopping of thirty sets of hooves on the stones helps to fill my head with noise
>Each pony gives me a wide berth
>The tears are still streaming down my face and I'm shaking
>Not from wanting to cry
>But from needing to scream
>I just want to start screaming in any happy face around me
>My horn feels hot and ready to burst, I could smash the fountain and curse each pony in sight easily
>I'm stomping at the stones too, hard enough to chip my unshod hooves
>Real me was turned to stone, trapped inside this body, never daring to come out again
>And the Great and Powerful Trixie?
>She was furious
>She knew nothing of love or longing
>But being cast off the stage and turned away was something completely alien to her, and she hated it
>This town was pathetic
>By this time next week I would be in Manehatten, and not a single pony would know about this embarrassing smalltown fiasco
>But I had one last thing to do before I left
>The one stipulation of normal, stupid, dumb Trixie before she promised to never ruin our show again.
>I knew where one of the young foals I was trying to inspire lived.
>Skinny young kid with a snail on his butt, something about exotic cooking
>His parents were nervous as all get out when I showed up at their door nearly half past ten
>But The Great and Powerful Trixie managed to convince them it would be a blessing to leave their son with a parting gift
>I gave the kid every bit I had to my name, all the money I had wanted to treat Twilight with
>Three times I made him repeat what I wanted him to bring Twilight tomorrow, after I was long and far gone
>"Blended oat smoothie, with extra hay, just how you like it, Trixie!"