This, is Normal Norman. Your everyday high school student, bornt in Philadelphia pennsylvania. Not long ago, he moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Even though he is a cool, normal kid, that likes to play X-box in his free time, he will face some strange problems in his new life.
 
This, is his story.
 
>being Norman
>Parents got a new Job in another town so we have to moon
>I got transfered to the local school
>first day in new school
>What is wrong with these people and their colored skin?
>they hear me
>"OMG SO RACIST"
>"Yeah, check your privilege, white scum."
>People start calling me a skin head.
>It's going to be a long year
 
>1st day and whole school thinks im a racist pig.
>3rd period
>sit next to a purple colored girl 7/10
>try to talk to her
>she mentions she's new in the school too,
>Neat
>she said she comes where a place of talking horse or some shit.
>Do not speak to her for a while.
 
>at least that was the plan until I realise the entire school hated me
>I'm stucked with the purple horse girl as my only friend
>Couple of days passes
>The school doesnt seem to like me any better
>Still stuck with the purple horse girl
>The more time I spend with her the weirder she gets
>she needs to win the prom crown for her magical horse kingdom or something
>never been interested in that so I drop the issue
>her friends arrives
>HOLY FUCKEN SHIT a 10/10 hot white skinned girl with purple hair girl arrives
>Purple horse girl introduce us
>I gotta get a piece of that...
 
>Try to talk with white girl every now and then
>purple's dog bak at me whenever I try and then humps her leg
>she hates it and kicks the dog
>the dog blames me and starts biting my leg
>I want to go back to my place and play some videogames
 
>school hates me even more because the girl I shown any interest is the aryan girl
>have no choice but to hang out with purple
>every now and then she tells me about her pony adventures
>suddenly one day she starts talking about this guy
>feel relieved because now the conversation is almost normal
>she says how cute he is
>but then she says that he reminds him of his brother
>It turns out she has an incest fetish
 
>we have an exam this monday
>luckily I don't need to study because I like the subject
>purple then tells me we have to study all the weekend on the library
>i told her to fuck off, because I wanted to play on my xbox
>she doesn't hear me and says that she really needs my help because she doesn't know how to read on my language
>feel sorry for her strange confession and go to the library saturday morning
>for someone that doesn't know to read, she read pretty well
>she made me stay saturday and sunday reading books I don't care at all
>my whole weekend wasted reading about the fucking iroquis
 
>Purple then comes into my house
>she is flabbergasted at my tv and computer
>I say she can use my computer if she stops talking about princess solestia
>I go down for a snack
>when I come back I found her looking at my porn
>I freak out, but she is not making fun of me, she actually looks interested
>she says that this is a great way to learn anatomy and she asks me to borrow my computer
>I told her to fuck off
>my mother comes in, offering purple a cookie
>purple shows my mother my porn, asking where she can find more instructive things like that
>I can't invite girls to my house anymore
 
>Another week
>Still putting with the racist thing and Purple
>She comes at me at the end of the day
>'Norman how humans mate?'
>'Excuse me?'
>can't tell if she's coming on to me or what?
>'s-sure...where should we...?'
>without wasting time she drags me into the library
>seems all she wanted me to teach her about the human reproductive cycle
>she learns fast, but still she keeps commenting the difference with horse cycle
>After we get over it, we say each other's good bye
>next day at Lunch
>no sight of Purple, don't think much about it.
>realize her white friend is all by herself
>get sit with her
>conversation sparks
>doing quite good, I even get her to call me Darling
>about to ask her if she wants to do something after class
>Suddenly Purple hugs me from behind
>'THANK YOU THANK YOU ABOUT HUMAN REPRODUCTION'
>Everyone in the Lunch hall hears it
>White starts to grinding her teeth HARD
>she grabs her Lemon soda and spills it in my face and leaves
>Purple and the whole hall goes silent.
>'YO SEEMS YOU DONT GET LUCK WITH THE WHITEYS BRO' some stupid jock says
>the entire hall laughs at me
>fucking purple
 
>biology class
>teacher starts talking about horses
>suddenly purple stands up and confronts her
>'ponies don't look like that! they are smaller and have a rounder face!'
>not this again
>'Norman! You can draw good! come here!"
>oh no, please no
>'So you are into this too mr. Norman? step in front of the class and draw on the greenboard'
>20 minutes following purple's directions, everybody throws papers at me
>when I finish, everybody laughs harder, they say the horse looks like a girly cartoon pony
>they send us to the principal afterwards
 
>Decide to spend some time away from Purple
>Start to eat lunch on the yard
>Purple somehow finds me and sits beside me
>She starts plucking grass and flowers
>She eats them
>The shit I put up with...
 
>weekend
>finally, I can rest up from all this bullshit
>I may never get laid in this godamn town, make some friends or even but I still got my x-box
>after some time, hear a knocking on the door
>purple says she needs me to take care of spike, his stupid dog
>before I could say a thing, she runs away with one of her friends, the yellow one
>I see the dog, he sees me back
>two hours later, there is piss everywhere and I swear he wrote leave'er with my blood on the carpet
>at least purple apologized
>but my x-box was covered in piss
 
>feeling sick, so luckily I don't have to go to school today
>purple says that she is going to nurse me, after all, we are friends
>she has to be one of those otakus, watching too many chinese cartoons
>I accept, but only because she won't leave
>But her concept of nursing is not taking care of me
>'You shouldn't miss classes, so that's why I asked all the teachers to leave even more homework, so that you wouldn't miss the smallest detail!'
>As your free day is wasted, you can only think how your classmates will fuck with you in sick and horrible ways
>'I don't know why purple hates me'
 
>hello, I am a student in Equestria Highschool, everybody calls me Joe
>I'm your average student, but I am also the quarterback of the school's football team
>I hate everybody in this school
>It may sounds strange, but actually I am a racist
>I hate everyone that is not a white, black, brown, a little red or yellow
>Also I hate punks and their stupid colorful hairs
>I was excited when I heard a new student was transfered and even more, he also hates these technicolor assholes
>but I can't talk to him, I have a reputation to take care of
>One day Norman, I will invite you to play Halo and we can talk how much we hate these morons
 
>Be hanging with Purple
>We go to library for fifteenth time this week.
>She finds section on magic.
>A lot of occult stuff, crystals, summoning circles, spirit chakras.
>She checks them out muttering something about regaining her powers.
>Find her in janitors closet three days later sacrificing a goat.
>God damn it purple.
 
>purple is telling me about the theory of friendship and how she is surprised, looking how I don't have any friends
>'Yeah, it is easy for you, a cute girl will never understand this feel'
>'Oh Norman, you will never have friends with that attitute, wait here'
>Decide here plan is fucked up even before hearing it
>run all they way and hide in my locker
>I can see she brought a jock with her
>I recognize that asshole with the football on his shirt, I've never talked with him, but he looks like a total douche
>'I don't get it, where is he? I told him to stay here'
>'stop wasting my time ok girl?'
>He goes away, thank god, now I can get out of here
>wait, I can't get out
>'the bell is ringing? purple, purple get me out of here!'
>purple?
 
>Be Norman
>The first hour or so stuck in this locker wasn't so bad
>However, my legs are cramped up now and I got to pee
>'Purple...?' I whimper, waiting for salvation
>None comes
>It's extremely hot inside, I'm sweating heavily, and suffocating a bit
>IDEA!
>Start to take off belt and try to slip it through the small openings on the locker door
>Dad's 70's disco pants fall off
>'Ah... fuck.'
>I press the tip of the belt against the slits, trying to get it to pass to the other side
>Door opens and I fall on ,y face
>'Norman! Here you are!'
>Everyone turns to look at my pantless persona
>'OMFG! HE WAS JACKING OFF IN THE LOCKER!'
>I hate my life.
 
>Be hanging with purple.
>Telling her about modern politics
>She knows about democracy, surprised to see its been taken so far though.
>Surprised by our massive cultural upheavals and wars.
>Finish talking about it.
>She still thinks Obama raises the sun.
 
>joe comes up
>he gives me a hand
>accepts
>he swoops in for a kiss
>he drops his pants
>rubs his cock against mine
>hot gay sex in front of the school
 
>Wakes up from a dream covered in sweat
>Check my pants and find the biggest 5 inch boner I've ever had
>Questioning my own sexuality.
>Realizes that at least Purple wasn't there.
>Goes back to sleep with a smile.
 
>dream about Philadelphia and all my old friends
>suddenly see purple waving
>'Norman! guess what, rememeber those books of human magic? I learnt one where I can get into other ponies dreams!'
>oh no what?
>'now we can be together all the time, isn't this exciting? tell me about what humans dream'
>'Why don't you go and visit your boyfriend dreams and leave me alone?'
>she blushes
>'oh! he isn't my boyfriend, but I wouldn't do that, he deserves to have some privacy'
>'and I don't?'
>'oh silly pony, you are my very best human friend, and pinky told me that best friends share everything! Now why is rarity with no clothes over there?'
>just kill me
 
>being depressed, Norman goes and sits on a swing and think of his life
>a little red headed girl sits against him
>'why are you sad sir?'
>'nobody likes me girl. Everybody thinks I'm a bad person
>'Ah like you sir, you have a funny hat'
>Norman smiles at the girl, receiving the first smile he has in weeks
>suddenly he feels a kick on his back
>'stay away from mah sister you pedo racist! applebloom, this man is a bad man, stay away from him!'
>'but sis...'
>'If I see you around here again, I won't just kick your back'
>Everybody in school now thinks norman is a skin head AND a pedophile
 
>Chemistry class
>Needed a lab partner
>Purple suddenly sits next to me
>"What the hell, go with your blue-haired douche boyfriend", I tell her
>"What? No, no he's not my boyfriend and besides, he doesn't have this class, but you're here! It's so nice for best friends to do stuff together!"
>Try to tell teacher I want a new partner
>The teacher goes on ignoring me, "...so what we're going to have you to do is to cause reactions with chemicals and identify if it is an acid or a base, on your left you can find Magnesium, Zinc..."
>Purple looks dumbfounded, clearly has no idea what she's doing
>Says she'll levitate the beakers, this bitch is crazy
>"Maybe I just need a panic situation and my magic will come back!"
>She throws the beaker in the air and the acid almost reaches Aryan beauty
>Get suspended
>after coming back I find out everyone thinks I'm a psychopath
 
>Be Norman.
>Mom forgot to wash hat.
>Sigh. Never liked my hair.
>Arrive at school.
>Dead silence, everyone just staring at me.
>It can't be THAT bad, right? Right?
>They're following me now. Should've worn a bag.
> Bit freaked out, so I pick up the pace.
>SMACK.
>"Oh hey, Norm-"
>Fuck, it's purple.
>She's staring blankly at my head. I wave a hand in her face. Nothing.
>Pretty sure her pupils are multiplying.
>Hear crowd behind me.
>Turn.
>Oh Shit.
>Hair zombies. Everywhere. And they're coming for me.
>Hands on the back of my head
>"So soft, so beautiful."
>Not gonna happen. Sorry, Violet Hue.
>Sprinting down the hallways. Still being followed. All eyes on me.
>Wait, wait, wait. I'm an idiot.
>Frantically begin searching. There, by that row of lockers.
>Glorious Aryan white goddess.
>She turns as I skid to a stop near her.
>Disappointment and disgust fade as she sees the hair.
>Just as planned.
>Glorious hair zombie +1.
"So, I was won-"
>SMACK!
>What the fuck, I'm on the floor.
>God damn, it's Purp.
>Trying to struggle. No use. Hair fascination must increase strength. Being dragged back into the Horde.
>Fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuckshit, shitfuck.
>Clawing at the floor, trying to gain leverage. Hand brushes over an object.
>Grab and orient myself to look at them.
>Scissors.
>Fuck.
>Well, better than being hair molested to death.
>Start cutting. Hair falls everywhere. Glorious dew ruined... chances fading.
>No tears.
>And then the dragging stops.
>"Hey, Norm, what are you doing on the floor?"
>I let the scissors fall to the floor.
>"Did you do something with your hair? I can help!"
>Rest of day wasted as Purp works drags me off for makeovers.
>So close.
 
>having a peaceful week
>realize that something must be wrong
>wait, Purple hasn't been in class
>sure enough, she's sick
>don't want to get involved, but feel bad because she took care of me when I was sick
>well, her heart was in the right place
>I think
>show up at her house, she's got some stomach thing
>there's nothing going around I can think of, but maybe she's just got bad luck
>give her the flowers I brought her and ask if there's anything I can do
>hoping she says no so I can just leave
>she says she just needs time to figure out what's wrong
>she then eats the flowers
>god damn it Purple
 
>Being Norman
>Lunch hour at school
>Purple told me she was going to lecture some class while Lunch, so im all by myself
>Dont feel like eating in the Lunch hall so I head to the Football field
>The field is pretty wide as you expect from a Football field
>Sit on the first row on the bleachers and get ready to eat my food
>Weather is nice, there's not much people around.
>Purple's light blue friend is in the middle of the field playing with a soccer ball, pretty good with it.
>Suddendly a person with green skin, wearing a suit and with a question mark in his face appears.
>'oh..hi?'
>'Quit it' he says while frowning over what it looks like a eyeless mask
>'what..?' I respond dumbfounded
>'I've been doing this way before you y'know? This is not original'
>All of my wat's combined I respond 'Listen man, what the hell are you talking about?'
>'STOP BEING A FAGGOT' then the guy pushes me on the ground while all my food falls over me
>Pissed, while standing up I scream 'ALL RIGHT YOU MOTHERFU-'
>then I realize this person is gone
>I look for everywhere around the field for this person
>Even ask around the few people if someone has seen someone like it,
>Purple friends tells me to stop doing drugs, which is typical
>Never seen th guy again,
>but I know he was real
 
>implying you dont know who was the stranger
 
>Biology Lab
>Midterms day
>Paired Exams, since Purple doesnt take this class I just team up with her yellow shy friend
>she doesn't put a complain so we are good
>The exam consists in just open up a Frog and a simple earthworm and point their major organs
>Sciencetime.jpg
>I sliced up that frog with too much joy,
>others students look at me and snicker things to each other.
>Before I realize im already done, so I turn to my partner to see how she's doing
>Yellow shy is completely freezed and covered in sweat.
>'Come on just get on with it' I say
>'I-I...I c-can't....j-just..a..a..little..wormie', Yellow replies while panting and shaking her hand.
>This is going to take forever so I take it into my hands
>I grab Yellow's hands while she still holding the knife
>'W-what..are..you' she say terrified
>'Relax, this will be over before you know it' I say most confidence
>Together we start a sagital cut over the whole lenght of the little worm
>Yellow tries to stop my hand, telling me to stop it.
>After we are done, Yellow stares in shock at the two remaining parts of the worm still wiggling
>'See, that wasnt that hard' I tell to her with a smile
>Suddendly Yellow busts out of the classroom while crying
>The whole class goes silent and then start to looking at me furiously.
>'That poor girl'
>'Not everyone gets off cutting you sick bastard'
>I...I just wanted to help....