Quibble Pants hummed as he flipped through the new issue of Daring Do and the Temples of the Crystal Chalice. It was alright, nothing special as far as comics were concerned. Better than the previous few issues, anyway, now that stupid side-character they introduced had been killed off. The continuity was surprisingly good as well, with the artist taking care to draw each and every scratch Daring accumulated during her hike through the neck-high elephant grass. Why, then even drew-
 
“MMRPH!” Rainbow Dash cried from beneath Quibble's expansive ass, “GRRMRRPH!”
 
“Quiet, you,” Quibble replied, grinding his ass against the floor, “You lost your right to speak when you said Daring Do and the Seven Totems of Abdul-Ra was the best part of the Quest for Cerberus saga.”
 
If Dash tried to retort, it was too quiet to hear, muffled by the six hundred pounds of nerdy stallion currently pressed on top of her. After facing down dragons, demons, monsters and hellhounds from places beyond the stars, Rainbow Dash had fallen to her mightiest foe yet – An obsessive fanboy with an ass wider than most couches.
 
Admittedly, she should've known better than to challenge him, especially after watching him shove that mare beneath his gut after she mispronounced M'Quagaga'Lsppopo, Daring's half-dragon, half-zebra companion during the Reign of Solaris saga. But the temptation to flex her knowledge with another fan was simply too great, and now, here she was, a flattened cushion on the floor of her own hotel room.
 
She could hear him eating, above her – She could hear his stomach gurgle as every half-chewed donut slid into that overpacked foodblimp. She cursed herself for leaving her credit card in the open, as room service came and went multiple times during her ordeal. Her cries for help were ignored, if they were noticed at all, leaving her trapped in a fleshy prison of pressure and perspiration.
 
Quibble turned the last page, tutting in annoyance at a minor continuity error – The villain was supposed to have three loose hairs in his mane, but this lazy artist drew four! Tossing it aside, he groaned, and shifted on his unwilling seat. For a moment, Rainbow hoped he was about to stand up and let her go – Hadn't she learned her lesson? Hadn't she suffered enough?
 
“Not yet,” Quibble said, his voice husky from the rings of fat coating his neck, “There are still twenty issues to go for this particular series. And then, it's on to the visual novel series...”
 
Dash expelled what little air was in her lungs in a groan, before inhaling another slow, deep breath of the musk-infused miasma that clung to the obese stallion's ass. She wished she had never visited the con. The, as Quibble shifted slightly and let out a cheeto-scented fart, she wished she had never been born.