>>30609840
Imagine this happening
You fail every single metric of what is desirable but are still just ahead enough to not be completely unwanted.
They assign you a pony who is fucking hopeless and can only get the scraps of her betters
they make no effort to hide from you you are being given to a pathetic mare who for all intents and purposes has no prospects at all.
 
a year later, You are tasked with a check up on the mares that got humans, really just a formality in the process so they can better gauge who to take and where to send them at a latter time.
 
throughout the last month this mare had been shown humans are very unresponsive to being taken as war spoils and given out as trophies, most mares have less of a sex life now than before, with most men saying they only find disgust when the topic is brought up. a few of the mares look like their humans are the ones calling the shots, the one who fell down the stairs 8 times was one of the sadder cases
 
she looks down at the file, 300lbs, no job, no prospects for a future, the rare things you had going for you were nothing to brag about. The mare you were given too was overweight, had so many physical deformities that it's hard to look the otherway, and to hide them chose to wear distracting glasses and a raggedy sweater.
 
grimacing at what has become of these two, she buzzes them to come in, then buzzes a few more times, getting fed up with waiting, this is the last pair of the day and she wants to get home and hit the bottle hard.
 
She finds that a mare and a human walking out of the stallions room together, looking around, she can't find anon and moondancer. she goes to the front desk mare who is beat red and asks her where moondancer and anon are, the pair they exited the stallions room speaks up
 
>"Hey moony, that's us finally."
 
>You only look at them
>You see the human
>But this is not anon
>Anon was 300 lbs of fat and lazy
>This human is at best 200lbs with very visible muscle, It lacks definition, but muscle nonetheless
>The mare, while moondancer color, was not moondancer shaped
>She had no sweater, you could see instantly she wasn't fat, but she had curves in places humans tended to like if research is correct
>She also was very well kept, the moondancer you assigned a human too only showered when she finally couldn't ignore the smell
>They walk up to you
>"Hello, I am moondancer and this is anon, we are here to give you an update"
>You didn't notice at a glance, but all the physical deformities are still there
>The spirals are going the wrong way
>The ears are a bit bigger
>The eyebrows are still bushy but look like they are trimmed
>But the glasses, how did you not notice them before?
"Ye... yes come this way and take a seat, We have a few questions for you two"
>As they walk past you your tail flags for some reason
 
~After everyone is situated in the closed room~
 
>You look down at your paper and get on with the questions
"So let's get this started, let's start off by asking you how everything is going in general"
>Moondancer is the first to try to say something, this is definitely not the profile of the mare you gave the human waste too, but anon is the first to speak
>"Shitty"
>You both look at anon, you have been told many horrible things by humans, may as well get this 'let me go back home speech over with'
"So anon, what is so 'shitty' and if possible how can we help"
>"Tell fucking witches of the beach to make a new fucking game instead of changing every existing ones ruleset"
>That was a first
>Moondancer picks up and smiles a bit before looking at you
>"Yea, no shit right? If I wanted to play a mini game I we would play hyperspace hyperwars, Give us back old O&O"
>Moondancer, a spergy geek who will routinely spend all her money on her hobbies...
>You now know for a fact you have the right mare at least
>The two start to laugh
>Anon is the first to speak up
>"Outside of WotB ruining their games to attract the casual crowd, and everyone moving to the new rulesets so it's hard to get games with the old ones, pretty great"
>Moondancer nods
>This is weird...
"Um, Is there anything either of you would like to report?"
>They look at each other, seemingly deep in thought
>"OH OH OH I KNOW" Anon slams his hand down on the table a bit
>"You have a portal to earth open right, get some fucking meat over here, I want some prime rib, pork steaks, bacon, fucking anything besides pork chops really, I miss good meat so much"
>Of all the humans that were here, you think this is the first time you got something other than to report the middle finger, fuck you, or 'call celestia sun cunt for me'
>"And while you are on the other side getting some meat, can you have someone pick my computer up? well... All my things really, you know what, tell luna to teleport the entire house over here, she fucking owes us anyway"
>Its at this moment that 'she fucking owes us anyway' was mentioned that you stopped doing anything
>How?
"How?"
>Moondancer is first to the draw this time
>"You know, she apparently went to every human's dreams a while back, as they had nightmares of being ripped from their homes."
>You did not know this
>"She also felt guilty after more than a few humans didn't take being comforted by a ruler of the country they were transported to very well"
>You can only imagine what transpired when you saw how many of the humans acted when brought to you
>Anon continues
>"So here I am, in a 'nightmare' that is honestly a combination of several horror movies and anime, just about to break my foot all up in jason's ass..."
>If you were not used to humans saying and acting violently, you would have doubted his claims, but you no longer have the ability to do so
>"When all of a sudden 'FEAR NOT MORTAL I AM HERE TO... WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON' and she fell to the ground."
>This gets your attention and the human notices it
>"So, lunas power for seeing nightmares is limited, she only tries to help with the big ones, as small ones don't affect waking hours, and the way she sees nightmares is one of two ways, ponies discomfort, or something a pony recognises as a big bad appears. This means if the pony is distressed she will come regardless of dream, and if a big bad shows up, that too..."
>Well, you learned a bit about luna
>"...So to her shock, the big bad o meter was going off the charts on my dream, so she came in, what awaited her was a hellscape, corpses everywhere, a werewolf stabbed through the neck with a pitchfork, a clown army in pieces, some vampires that were turned to dust, a few xenomorphs with arms ripped off and stuffed through their chests out the back, with me lining up a shot to send jason head over heals into a tree"
>You don't know much about human culture, but you were exposed to each type of entertainment for your job so you can better understand them, you saw 'evil dead' and you can only imagine what other movies this dream was based off of
>"So I kick as hard as I can and look over to the blue mare, having a few women already hanging off me either rescued from monsters or converted enemies, And my first words to her were 'Aw cool, I was wondering if I would get a pony babe at some point'"
>You have no way to respond to this, But moondancer does
>"So anon had no way of knowing that luna can dream walk, and after that orgy with fantasy creatures and luna, she decided to visit him nightly for some more 'fun time'"
>And now you think you have found the first instance of a human coming onto a pony
"I'll see about forwarding your message"
>Anon interjects
>"Tell her the offer is still open if she wants, She will know what it means"
>You shake your head
>You look down the list
>Anything to report
>How is their body language
>How is your diet
>Ah here's one
"Any changes either of you would like to report?"
>You have been wondering this one since they came in
>"Um, not really, you got anything moony?"
>Really?
>"Ah, can you have the rent lowered on the canterlot game shops, fucking blueblood had them raised and now they can't get as much new stock"
>Shockingly enough, blueblood was mentioned by more than a few mares and humans as being a thorn in their sides
>But REALLY?
"More than a few complaints about him have come in today, we can likely deal with it by informing someone having him moved for his own safety would be the best idea, But is that all the changes you would like to report"
>they both look at each other
>they shrug and look at you
>"Yea, I think that's it why"
>Your head gets intimate with the desk
>You look at them
>Then you get pictures out
"This is what both of you looked like before coming here" You show them pictures "What the hell happened?"
>They look at the pictures
>Anon is first to go
>"Aw look moony, this is from when you were still pudgy, shit was cute"
>Moondancer gets really embarrassed
>"Yea well look, this is from when you were still a very soft place to sleep"
>Anon looks at it
>"Yep, can't say I miss that though"
>You look at the two
"HOW"
>That may have come out louder than you wanted
>Moondancer is first to pipe up
"Well, when anon came I stopped eating instant and fast food"
>So anon cooks?
>She got a human to cook for her when she looked like THAT
>You look to anon
>He looks at you
>The then picks up moondancer
>"There is only so much I can do this"
>He begins moving her up and down
>"Without gaining some muscle and losing some weight"
>This only confuses you more
>Moondancer is a bit embarrassed
"Why would you do that to begin with"
>Anon gets a grin on his face
>"Because there is only so much she can move around on her own before she gets to tired and I have to take over"
>It takes you a few moments but you get it and go red
>Moondancer has a small outburst
>"I don't have too little stamina, you just have to fucking much"
>You have noticed for a while now, it seems ponies picked up on human language a bit more than humans ponies.
>You look at the two of them mouth agape
"So..."
>"yea we pretty much banged ourselves into shape"
>He does something that elicits an eep from the mare
>"Not sure about moony, but I still have a bit further to go"
>You have no words
>You just look down at your sheet of paper
>Do you have any goals
>Every other human has said, 'kill celestia' 'go home' or something in between those
>Welp, lets see how this one is different too
"So, do you have any goals anon"
>He looked down at moondancer
"Fuck yea I do, I want to make a herd of at least one of every single species who is sapient"
>No words, just no words at all
>You look to moondancer who is hugged close to anon now
"You have no problem with this? The humans were brought here to try and end the need to herd"
>Moondancer doesn't even need to think
>"Yes... well... with that in mind, I can't keep up with anon at all"
>You are about to ask for clarification
>"He lasts at minimum 10 minutes, and at most over an hour when we have sex, he can and actively tries to make me pass out from pleasure before he blows his load once"
>Your eyes go wide
>"My personal record is putting 3 mares, a minotaur and a dragon to sleep before I came once"
>Jaw on the floor
>On your pen is a small lie detector, and it has yet to change color
"Stamina aside, how did you find those other races?"
>Anon cocks his head to the side
>He then looks like he came to a realization
>"OH, right... well, you know how mares in nerdy hobbies are kind of the bottom for romance and society, seemingly everyone who doesn't fit into their place in life tends to gravitate toward a geeky hobby?"
>You nod, It is something you noticed
>You even made a game out of it when you were younger, guess what they do where you guessed what they were going to do, followed them and when you were right you got a point
>You have yet to miss a point
>Anon continues
>"Well, a minotaur who is too small and thin is undesirable, a dragon who is to docile and soft is undesirable, mares who are nerdy are undesirable, diamond dogs who to smart are undesirable, and the list goes on, but each one of those to me is a positive, and through the hobbies we share, we met more than a handful of females who gave up on life, that we offered a place in our herd"
>You are happy and sad at the same time
>"Oh yea, there are also outliers like fleur de lis who got in not because they were an outcast but because they wanted someone who saw them and liked them for who they were"
>THAT SUPER MODEL IS IN THE HERD
>"Apparently I dont have the same standards for beauty that ponies have, All I can see is that every one of them are cute, even though each has gone on a usually teary diatried of what makes them ugly"
>He scratches behind her ears
>You are jealous, very jealous
>You look down at the paper
>That appears to be all
>You sigh
"That appears to be all, you will likely be contacted soon for a more thorough interview"
>Anon looks down at moondancer and makes an eye move, and moondancer looks to you and makes a head move
>Anon is the one to talk
>"So, after hearing about us you looked a fair bit disappointed, so I got to thinking, why not make you and offer"
>You perk up a bit
"What kind of offer?"
>Moondancer comes in this time after walking closer to you
>"We can't say you can join the herd, that's up to everyone else if you fit in well enough, but for now we can give you a trial run"
>You have no idea what that means
>But you are interested
>You hear anons belt fall to the ground
>You look to moondancer
>"We noticed your tail raise when we were coming in this room and..."
>Trailing off to your seat
>"...Judging by the mess, you have some needs."
>You gulp and nod
>Anon in only his under garments comes closer to you
>"It just so happens we like doing it in public places"
>Your mind stops and rewinds a bit
>Why were they both in the same bathroom?
>"So, are you up for it or not"
>You nod
>Anon picks you up
>This will definitely be better than drinking