Title:           (JoJo) Battle of the Greens (4 Anon All Star Battle)
Author:          Ditherer
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/nYizqLre
First Edit:      Friday 30th of September 2016 03:08:34 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Friday 30th of September 2016 03:09:45 PM CDT

>Be Anon.
>Well...
>One of them.
“?Nowhere Man?!”
>”[FEATHERY ACT II]!”
>”[FIRE IN THE CHURCH]!
>”?Saturn’s Children?!”
>The air of Canterlot High is thick with punchghosts.
>You don’t know how you got here, but this is deep Rainboom territory.
>A bunch of little planets are being flung everywhere.
>One of the others is blasting music.
>The last is rushing for you.
>”REEEEEE!”
“Shit, shit, shit.”
>Reflexively, you summon your usual suspects.
>Your Stand spits them out as little balls of ectoplasm.
>Four Roman soldiers who died valiantly.
>You always wanted some Praetorians or Legionnares.
>Instead you get these losers.
>Fucking plebs.
>The guy with the green Stand over his shoulder keeps going.
>”REE REE REE REE!”
>His Stand punches straight for all four of them, but there’s no effect.
>Huh. You thought your ghosts were susceptible to other Stands.
>He’s staring at them, too.
>Then he shrugs, and pounces for you.
>You dive to the left.
>Too late.
>”REEEE!”
“Fuck!”
>The punch doesn’t hurt that much, actually.
>You’re still slammed to the ground, though.
>Then it starts beating on you.
>...
>Each punch hurts a little less than the last, actually.
>Agh!
>Okay, there it is.
>The ceiling is spinning, your tongue is on fire, you’re tired and you want to go home.
>After a moment he stops and looks down at you, a little puzzled.
“Does it just need more for guys…?”
>You don’t know what that means, but you roll over enough to puke up your breakfast.
>Cornflakes.
>Now you’re kind of twitching.
>He just stares at you, like you’re a fern he poured too much water into.
>Then your guys spring into action.
>One grabs his hair and tugs backwards, another holds his ankle, and a third pulls his shirt over his face.
>”What the--!”
>He stumbles backwards and crashes to the ground.
>Now your ghosts are holding his wrists and ankles down as well as they can.
>If you had less than four of these fucks you’d never get anything done.
>You struggle up, trying to ignore your heart racing.
>Then you walk over--
>You sway.
>You fall down to one knee.
>Okay.
>You push yourself up and ignore the vomit reflexes kicking away in your chest.
>His Stand is trying to beat back your ghosts, but its fists aren’t connecting.
>You ignore it, drop down and start punching him.
 
>Be Anon
>You aren’t in Equestria anymore.
>Maybe it’s a middle school, or maybe it’s a dream, or some magical glitch.
>You sometimes dreamed of coming back to Earth, but...
>Well, not now.
>And not like this.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_uYSfEyOcE [Embed]
>“I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go!”
>The words and notes explode outward as this bird shreds guitar nearby.
>You bring?Saturn’s Children?up in front of yourself to block them.
>The notes explode into little clouds of gas tinged with color, like lightshow smoke.
>You really don’t want one of those to hit you.
>”Walking with a dead man over my shoulder!”
>A barrage of notes comes in a sudden solo, circling around you now.
>Your Stand spins around you to deflect them.
>The guy singing looks like you, but… younger.
>”I was struck by lightning, walking down the street!”
>This one surges at you from above.
>Shit!
>It connects faster than you can bring up your Stand to block it.
>You’re thrown, sprawling, into the nearest locker.
>And then the idea hits you.
>Of course, you’ve got the one thing in your disposal that’s always in a school!
>?Saturn’s Children?circles around you as you dash for the nearest classroom.
>The door’s locked!
>”I was hit by something last night in my sleep!”
>You see the sentence coming at you from down the hallway.
>Further down the other two are punching each other.
>Your Stand forms a fast, spinning tunnel, dragging in the air.
>The sentence comes straight through at you, and you sidestep it as it crashes through the door.
>You’re in!
 
>Be Anon.
>For the hundredth time you don’t know what’s going on, and you’re sick of it.
>But everyone’s fighting, so you might as well join in.
>The tall guy just ran into a classroom, planets in tow.
>You send some sounds in after him.
”Dooon’t ruuun awaaay, it’s only me!”
>[FEATHERY] moves with you toward the door, faithfully playing.
>Better safe than sorry, you hurl in a few more lines through the walls.
”Waiting for an invitation to arrive!”
“Going to a party with no one still alive!”
“Don’t be a-fraid of what you caAaAaAa-an’t see!”
>Through the resulting holes and explosions, you can see a bunch of desks upturned and arranged into a hasty fort.
>It’s a pretty nice one, too, given how little time he had.
>He throws one of the desks at you.
>You don’t even need a Stand to catch it and toss it aside.
>Then he drops back to the floor, hiding while his Stand spins angrily in the air.
“I was struck by lightning, walking down the street!”
>The notes get puilled up into the Stand and thrown through the far wall.
>You try again.
“I was hit by something last night in my sleep!”
>...Nope.
>Another desk, another catch.
>Does he think this is going to stall you for more than two minutes?
>Is he trying to give you a bloody nose?
“If you give up and tell me what’s going on, you can come out.”
>He doesn’t answer.
>Fine.
>You clear your throat and launch a new barrage.
“It’s a dead man’s party! Who could ask for more?”
“Everybody’s coming, leave your body at the door!”
“Leave your body and soul at the door!”
>These strike the ground instead of the planets, cracking the tile and sending desks flying.
>The enemy Stand’s spinning really angrily now, like the owner’s freaking out.
>Good.
>You can see him crouching behind one unscattered desk, and before you can sing again he picks it up, swings it and sends it straight for you.
>You catch it, take a step back and drop it.
“Seriousl-”
>Then something else hits you like a bullet, slingshot straight from the planets.
>It goes straight into your mouth.
>It takes a moment to realize what it is, as your jaw compensates and you start breathing from your nose.
>Ancient chewing gum.
>It’s sticking to you, half-melting with bits of disgusting sticky shit, and you can’t spit it out.
>[FEATHERY] goes quiet, and the taller guy runs over, planets spinning ahead of him and smashing into your Stand.
>He delivers a solid punch to your throat, and you’re down.
 
>Be Anon.
>This shit ain’t going well for you.
>You’re pretty sure ghosts can’t get horny now.
>If that’s what these things keeping you in man-bondage are.
>And unfortunately, your lust punches don’t work on things without vaginas.
>n-no homo
>You’re getting pounded by this guy and his fucking ancient soldier brigade.
>But bad for them.
>They don’t know what you’re capable of.
>You call out through your bloody nose.
“[FIRE IN THE CHURCH]...”
>The other guy hits you harder and then looks over his shoulder to make sure your Stand’s not there.
>When it isn’t, he looks confused.
>Gotcha, bitch.
>Just need to waste a few more seconds.
“I’m going to show you the Anon family’s secret technique now, so you’d better watch out!”
>He looks genuinely scared by that, in a half-awake way.
>”You’re not doing anything anywhere.”
>He mumbles.
>You almost wish he were healthy, to better witness your badassery.
“Oh yeah? Well, what about THIS?”
>Your Stand finishes punching through the floor below you, and both of you go falling into the hallway below.
>Well, HE goes falling.
>You’ve got four ghosts tugging at you for a second, before they let go.
>That’s long enough to get your Stand in position.
>He catches you in his sweaty, beefy arms halfway through and lowers you the rest of the way.
>The other guy’s laying on the floor in pain, the ghosts hovering around him.
>Right.
>Those things.
>One goes zipping off through a wall, and the other three stay there while he vomits some more.
>Must be remote type sub-stands, or something.
>Well, if your Stand doesn’t work on them, you’ll just have to hit through them!
>You rush forward, readying a REE.
>And then stop.
>Oh. He’s passed out.
>The three of them pull at his ankles, awkwardly dragging him away from you.
>Then the fire alarm goes off, and the fourth comes back to help.
>It’s kind of sad to watch, actually.
>Shit.
“...”
>[FIRE IN THE CHURCH] picks up the guy, and the ghosts swarm you again.
>One of them punches you in the nuts.
“OWW! Hey!”
>Just what you get for trying to be nice.
>Then they notice your Stand pushing open the door to the nearest bathroom and setting the guy down in it.
>You can deal with him later, you guess.
>They nod at you, and fly through the wall to join him.
“Yeah, w-whatever.”
 
>Be Anon.
>You’re getting a little fatigued, and you need to wrap this up.
>The other two are gone, a little investigation shows where.
>You take the stairs to conserve your energy, even though the fire alarm’s going..
>If this place is really on fire you guess you’ll deal with that when you come to it.
>You doubt it, though.
>As you emerge into the hallway, there’s only one kid left, and his back’s to you.
“You’re the one who brought me here, aren’t you?”
>He startles and spins around.
>”Whuh?”
“You’re the only one left, it seems. It has to be you. And I need to get back where I came from. If you send me back we can go on with our lives in our own, separate dimensions. If not...”
>The planets whir around you, you hope threateningly.
>A lot of expressions pass over his face.
>Then he strikes, his Stand shrieking as they close the distance.
>”REEEEEE!”
>?Saturn’s Children?comes up to block it, and when its fist connects both Stands stop.
>They strain against each other, and then more of the planets hit.
>He gets pushed backward, slowly and steadily, until his attack fails and he goes flying.
>You fish in your pocket for a bit, and find a handful.
>You smile.
 
>Be Anon.
>You look like shit, you feel like shit, and you’re fighting a guy with a solar system flying around him.
>It’s not your day.
>Time for a double dose of the secret technique!
>You get up and run around the corner in time to hear the whoosh and the ping.
>There’s a little gold coin denting the wall where your head was.
>You ain’t fucking with that.
>You haul ass to the nearest stairwell and head down.
>There’s a chance.
I just need to get to that place…!
>Heh.
>Wait.
>This is no time for Chinese cartoon references, damn it.
>It made you feel a little better, though.
>You hear his footsteps above you and start going faster, jumping down the last four and into the first floor hallway.
>(Why is this school so rich it has three floors?)
>You can hear your salvation in the distance as you keep moving.
>He won’t murder you with people around.
>You hope.
>Then another coin smashes into the wall a few feet from you.
>Best to think of a different plan…
 
>Be Anon.
>The ringing in your ears is hurting your aim.
>You know where this guy’s going, of course.
>The exit.
>You can’t let him out into the open, there are too many open spaces for him to escape.
>You can picture all of your friends, waiting for you to come home...
>You have to beat the answer out of him!
>Turn the corner, long hallway and he isn’t strafing.
>You go for a shot to his leg, flipping the bit into?Saturn’s Children?
>It fires with calm precision.
>The kid stumbles for a moment and falls.
>It’s a direct hit!
>You follow it up with another as he stands up again.
>On this one, he cries out.
“You ready to talk yet?”
>He coughs into his shirt and flips you the bird.
“Suit yourself.”
>You toss the whole handful of coins into your Stand, and it fires them like buckshot.
>As you do that, a locker door breaks free of its hinges, and you see his Stand holding it.
>”[FIRE IN THE CHURCH]!”
>After a moment seeing its muscles tense, you realize what’s about to happen.
>You hit the floor as it bats the coins back at you.
>Some of them hit your Stand, and they feel like gut punches.
>You jump back up to your feet, and he’s nearing the end of the hallway, limping now.
>Then he looks up, and both of you see it.
>His ultimate doom.
>A firefighter, mask and all.
 
>Be Anon.
>”What are you doing here, son?”
>You look up after you hear the question, gauging your options.
>The older guy comes over, and you can feel the smugness coming off of him.
>His Stand flies around and blocks the hallway beyond, making sure you won’t run past.
>”Oh, I’m so glad you showed up. I found this young man roaming the halls today, pulling the alarms. He seemed very violent, and wouldn’t tell me where his wounds came from. I think it might be drugs.”
>Bastard.
>There are more sirens outside, but any other firefighters seem to be somewhere else.
>”Is that true, son?”
>You take a deep breath.
“[FIRE IN THE CHURCH]!”
>The planet user steps back, but you don’t hit him.
>No.
>”REEEEEEEEE!”
>He’s about to be in a world of trouble.
>The firefighter stops, takes a breath, and removes the mask.
>She’s a blonde.
>You sidestep her, trying to stay out of the way.
>She sees Captain Planet, and goes in for the kill.
>She’s murmuring things under her breath as she strips out of the outfit.
>He looks alarmed and tries to step back, but he can’t stop her.
>”D-don’t you think you should take care-”
>She kisses him.
>You walk over, look him over, and crack your knuckles.
“I hope she’s into necrophilia, bro.”
>”REE REE REE REE REE!”
>Your Stand pummels them both.
>Every hit makes her cling to him harder and him look sicker and sicker.
>You give it extra for good measure, until he seems barely conscious and she’s ravishing him like an animal.
>Then you turn and check around the corner.
>The coast is clear and the planets are gone, although the sirens are still going.
>You run for a side exit and make it outside.
>It’s a fire exit, but there’s no real telling in all the chaos.
>Now...
>Time to work out what freaky shit’s going down here.