Title:           Does thou even hoist?
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/q0xn8Pdi
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of March 2016 04:38:18 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of March 2016 04:38:18 PM CDT

>Tick...
>Tock...
>Tick...
>....
>Tock...
>"Could this day go any slower?!" You say to yourself as you give the clock a scolding glare.
>Only a few more minutes of this shit left but you don't think you can make it.
>"Ahem! Mr. Anonymous, you have a client." Says your boss with her usual sassy tone.
>You look up to see a pony with cotton candy for a mane and a pair of blue eyes that could melt even the coldest of hearts.
"Hu? Oh how can I-Pinkie what are you doing here? I already told you that we can't put candy in your savings account."
>"Oh that's not why I'm here." She says as you can see her slowly put an oversized lollipop back into her mane.
>"I just wanted to give you this. It's an invitation to a party I'm throwing! You don't have many friends Nonny and I worry about you. All you ever do is work and stay all cooped up in your house. I want you to have more friends than me and Applejack. You know there will be a lot of ponies there so I know-." Pinkie continues to drag on.
>There is only so much of her talking you can handle before it all becomes one big blur to you.
>"Soooooooooooooo?"
"Hu? Yeah?"
>"You will?! I'm so excited! I'll see you at the party. You know, Applejack said you'd say no again but I said - no Nonny is just shy if we keep-"
>What did you just agree to, a party?
>Worse, it's a Pinkie Pie party.
>Well it's only one party, what's the worst that can happen?
 
>Almost time to head out.
>You grab you things, only the basics.
>A granola bar just in case the sweets are too overwhelming, shades so you can fall asleep and not hurt the pink one's feelings, and lastly and most importantly your wallet and keys.
>You can't count how many times you locked yourself out of your own house.
>You tend to be very forgetful and misplace things.
>You head out the door and start to walk in the direction of the party when are stopped by the force of something half your size.
"Ouch!"
>You did it again. You weren't paying attention and walked into something.
>Only this time it wasn't a something, it was a someone or rather somepony.
>"I'm so sorry!"
I'm so sorry!
>You both shout out.
>You look at the pony besides you. You've never seen her before.
>Her eyes are a yellow so deep and bright it feels as if you are staring at the sun itself.
>Her coat is so minty looking that you begin to fast it in your mouth.
>Mostly because her mane was in your mouth.
>Which leads you to her mane, it wasn't quite grey more of a T-shirt when it's wet kinda color.
>"Ummmm....mister?" She shyly says as you state at her. Her face becoming knowledgeably more and more uncomfortable.
"Oh my, sorry I didn't see you there. Are you alright?
>"No, no. Well I mean yes I'm fine but it was my fault. I'm so sorry."
>She seems to be more awkward than you.
>"I'm sorry I'm just late for something I promised I'll be at and I lost track of time."
>And with that she ran off, what a weirdo.
 
>"Nonny, you came!" Pinkie says as she comes from virtually nothing.
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?"
>Well you're here now and you already wanna go home.
>You start to think to yourself, Pinkie has already seen you so you can sneak out with out anyone knowing.
>You wait for you chance and take it.
>Only a few more steps until you're out.
>The door is right there aaaaand-*Smack*!
>The door swings open and hits you square in the face.
>"Oh my i didn't see you there, are you okay?"
>It's too blurry to see who said that but the voice is somewhat familiar.
>"Nonny! You took that hit from the door like a champ! "
"Th-thanks Pinkie..."
>In all honesty you wanted to cry a Little but you weren't about to set everyone see.
>I mean, that door hit you pretty hard but they will only remember you crying.
>"Glad to see you're okay. I'll just stick with you for the rest of the party. I mean what were you even doing so close to the door, you weren't trying to leave obviously since you only just got here. I mean who comes to a party only to leave after a few minutes.
"Geez thanks Pinkie and here I thought I wouldn't have anyone to talk to."
>You say trying to sound as sarcastic as possible.
>She still doesn't get it and now insist you meet everyone here as to see you finally want to talk.
>You remind your self to "thank" whoever hit you with that door.
 
>This feels like forever.
>How many ponies are even in here?
>You just want to go home and read a book or stare out your window watching fillies play at the park next door.
>Well maybe not the second one, seems kinda creepy and you sure as hell aren't a creep.
>"Uhhhhh, Nonny?"
>You look to see a confused Pinke and two other ponies giving you a cautious stare.
>What did you say?
>What the hell did you just say?!
>Keep calm, maybe they won't think your too weird.
>Yeah just ask, what could go wrong?
"Umm what did I say something wrong?"
>"Uh no you didn't say anything at all. Come on Nonny just tell them your name. You remember it don't you?"
>Pinke says giving you a smile.
>However, it's not a pinke pie smile.
>More of a, "whatthefuckareyoudoingjustanswerthequestionyoufuckingidiot." Smile.
"O-oh I'm Anonymous. Pleased to meet you."
>You say in your most gentlemanly voice.
>"So yeah well see you two around, hey there's someone we haven't met yet lets go over there Nonny!"
>Pinke says as she pulls you away from that train wreck.
>You wholeheartedly feel bad for her.
>She just wants you to make friends and she is trying her hardest.
>Better than Celestia that's for damn sure.
>Celestia's constant annoying updates and questions about friendship and making friends is what drove you to move to Ponyville in the first place.
>"Here Nonny I'm sure this next pony will be perfect for you. You two are practically the same."
>You don't have time to think about the meaning behind that since she was already introducing you to the pony.
>"And this is Anonymous but I call him Nonny, isn't that right Nonny? Oh and almost forgot. This is Lyra."
 
"You?! You're the one that bumped into me on the way over here."
>"She's also the one that slammed the door in your face." Pinkie adds.
>"Thanks Pinkie..." Lyra says quietly.
>The both of you just stare at each other, awkwardly.
>"So anyways I'm going to go make sure everything is running smoothly."
>Pinkie just gives the both of you a worried smile and a small chuckle.
"So ummmm."
>"Uhhhh, I'm really sorry about earlier... and the door thing."
"It's okay, no harm done. So what brings you hear Lyra?"
>"Well, Pinke always asks me to come to her parties and I finally said yes."
"Hu, same thing. Did she bug you at work as well?"
>"I don't really have a job right now. I sometimes play music for a friend that owns a restaurant bit other than that I don't really do much. I have a lot of free time."
>You and Lyra talk for the rest of the party, even a bit after.
>You have to admit you were wrong about her.
>She is a little weird, but hey so are you.
>Who knows this could actually be your first real friend.
 
>It's been about a week since that party.
>Pinkie tired to get you to go make some new friends, and even went through the trouble of setting dates for you to spend time with different ponies.
>None of them were as fun as spending time with Lyra, however.
>You can't seem to put your finger on it but the two of you really have a connection.
>Pinkie must have seen that as well, and she helped you get your best friend.
>Best friend? Woah settle down there Anon, the two of you are just becoming good friends don't get ahead of yourself.
>"Hi Anon! Almost off of work?"
"Lyra? How do you know where I work?"
>"It's not that hard finding a 6ft troll, silly."
>She says giving you her weird yet adorable grin.
"So what brings you to the bank, need something?"
>Lyra and you try to hold small talk until your shift ended.
>Once it did, she asked if you wanted to have lunch with her.
>How could you say no to that face?
>And you were, admittedly, hungry.
"I'd love to. How about that new restaurant by my place?"
>Lyra seems surprised that you wanted to go to an actual restaurant with her and not some generic hay burger stand.
>"Really there? But isn't it super fancy and I don't want to take up all of your time."
"It's no problem at all. I like spending time with you and it'll be my treat."
>Lyra seems overjoyed and accepts your invitation in a heartbeat.
"Then it's settled! Let's head out now, I wanna get a booth."
>The two of you head off to the restaurant.
 
>Dinner was great.
>The waitress thought the two of you were a couple and gave you a discount.
>Said it was a couples discount and to invite your friends.
>You didn't want to correct her by saying you were only friends and lose that discount.
>Lyra didn't seem to mind so it must be fine.
>Once the two of you finished the table looked like a bomb went off, leaving no bread stick uneaten and no salad was safe from your wrath.
>You walked Lyra home and managed to keep a conversation going the whole time.
>Who knows, at this rate you might even be able to talk to other ponies too.
>"Well this is it. It's not much but it's the best I can do for now."
>As you approach her small house you see that it's a bit smaller than yours.
>Nothing bad about it, and Lyra likes it.
>Just.
>Something about it seems... off.
>Probably your imagination.
>She walks inside but not before locking you in a bear hug.
>She can't seem to thank you enough for today.
>Well, time to head home.
>When it gets late in Ponyville the place turns into a ghost town.
>Always felt creepy yet somehow relaxing.
>Once home you plop right on the bed and fall asleep.
>You need all the energy you can get if your gonna survive another 8 hours of banking.
 
>You wake up feeling refreshed and surprisingly less dead inside.
>Walking to work is the same as always.
>Except, it feels like someone is following you.
>You quickly turn around, but only to see nothing.
>Strange.
>As you start to head back you're met face to face with the golden-eyed pony.
"Oh hey Lyra. What are you doing?"
>"Just going for a walk. Ya heading to work?"
"Yes, unfortunately. Well it was nice seeing you."
>The two of you exchange goodbyes and head off.
>As you walk you get that feeling again.
>You look behind you and are met with Lyra not too far behind.
>She stops close behind you and gives you a small smile.
>Strange, you thought she went a different way but whatever.
>You continue your walk with Lyra still close behind.
>After some time you have to admit it was getting kinda annoying having her follow you.
>You turn around for the last time.
>Sure enough Lyra was right behind you.
"Are you following me or something?"
>"What, no? We just happen to be going the same way and I'm just close behind. I'm going to the spa over there."
"Oh okay. Sorry I guess I was being little paranoid. Well see you later."
>And with that you take off to do the daily grind.