"The secret sauce (twifaggotry, villainanon 1.0)"
By Betanon (https://pastebin.com/u/Betanon)

URL: https://pastebin.com/4yWQurNp
Created on: Saturday 4th of May 2019 09:08:52 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 24 of October 2020 12:07:03 AM UTC


>>The secret sauce perfectly compliments the sandwich.

>Yes, that's it!
>Mwahahaha
>Just look at her pigging herself out on it
>"Gosh, this is really good! Another one please!"
>"Coming right up~!"
>YES
>YESSSS
>IT WORKS
>She's even licking her hooves clean!
>You could watch her eat like that all day
>God she's so hot--
>I mean, what a fatso!
>You should get out of this bush and tell her how cut--no, how much of a piglet she is right now!
>Yeah! You really should do just that--
>No! Wait, calm yourself down!
>She can't know you're involved yet, or it could raise some suspicions!
>But still! Now that your pr--, the princess tasted it, there's no turning back
>She's going to tell her friends about how good this new sauce is, meaning the pink one will hear about it, meaning the whole town will know before tomorrow!
>And then canterlot, and then the rest of horseland, and finally...
>THE WORLD!
>This is your best keikaku yet, there's just no way it could fail!
>It took you three months to get it right
>Three horrible, papillae scorching months but now, finally...
>You made it!
>You've created a perfect replica of BBQ sauce!
>And now that its success is assured and the rumor train has ignited its engine, you'll finally be able to show sporkle the power of capitalism!

>Tomorrow, every food maker around town will beg for you to provide them some of the spicy dressing
>By next week, you'll hopefully have a small team of creatures to help you with the manufacturing process and fill out the hundreds, no, the THOUSANDS of orders from all over horseland!
>Ponies are a big no-no, for obvious reasons
>They talk too much
>And by the end of the month, you'll have reached past the borders and griffins, minotaurs and dragons will also want some of it!
>You'll become the first man to export goods to all of the known realms!
>For all intent and purposes, you're already rich!
>But that's not all
>At that point, everypony in town, including her, will only be able to think about their next BBQ sauce dribbling meal they'll have next!
>Yes
>That's power
>Since you're the only individual knowing the recipe, it means you'll have absolute control over the production of the good, and over how much is sent where!
>You'll just have to stop distributing any to ponyville, and the town will be in uproar in a few days only!
>The streets will be filled with grumpy, irritable little horsies drooling at the mere thought of your product!
>And then she
>She
>She'll have to admit you were right!
>Hell, you'll be able to have her give a public speech about it! 
>Just to have you restart the distribution around town, just so she can taste it once again!
>Yes! 
>And then, you'll have her go on a date with you!
>And maybe even hold hooves under the moonlight!
>Damn you're a fucking genius
>Papanon would be proud!

>"Wooooh, I'm stuffed! What did you say that sauce was called again?"