"Untitled" By Anonymous URL: https://pastebin.com/KW0A8RJN Created on: Friday 26th of May 2017 11:17:09 PM CDT Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 12:59:57 PM UTC Season 1: Friendship is Fucking Retarded Episode 1: The Misfits Arrive (DM: Mort) The episode opened at dawn on the open sea. The morning sun, the salty air, and the occasional kraken attack. Despite the gang ???eing dominated ???y mares, they managed to overwhelm their foes with sheer num???ers alone (http://i.imgur.com/xyU1zoH.png). Wax Wings, Capri Sun, and Rose???ud got fondled, ???ut ended up okay for the most part (http://i.imgur.com/J1UyZVk.png). The gang sailed into port with ???ruised ???odies and high spirits… Until they were swindled ???y a consgriffon named Grace posing as a city official. The group ???ought her lies hook, line, and sinker, and handed her a total of 130 ???its. They ???egan to get suspicious after she was gone for an hour, and their suspicions were confirmed when a new mare told them that SHE was the real greeter for new arrivals. She explained the city’s new housing program for new citizens, ???efore letting the group loose on the town. ???right Wright led the group to the main market square to fix up the shop he inherited (http://i.imgur.com/pZUgWRj.png), and the rest of the gang started asking around for the consgriffon’s locations. After ???ri???ing one of the griffons present, she pointed the group in the right direction (For free, since Pinch Hitter got to swipe all those ???its ???ack! http://i.imgur.com/Jy0D???qR.png). The group confronted Grace, ???ut she denied all accusations. Wax was the first one to throw a punch (flying tackle?), ???ut unfortunately for her, a couple of guards were watching the whole exchange take place. They arrested Wax, who went in great style (http://i.imgur.com/oSQdg8j.png), ???ut they agreed that the whole thing was a little suspicious, so they ordered everyone, Grace included, to follow them down to the station. ???right Wright, Short Fuse, and Pinch Hitter stayed at the market, to shop and start getting ???right’s new shop in tip-top shape. At the station, the two officers, Sgt. Stern and Patty Wagon, locked Wax up in a cell, and gave the group and Grace some time alone to talk things out. The group tried their ???est, ???ut Grace would NOT return their ???its. However, thanks to an intimidating display ???y Chocolate Chip, Grace decided to propose a compromise: she’d drop charges against Wax Wings as long as they agreed to stop going after her. The group refused, and further negotiations were cut short when Chocolate, in a ???rief moment of spontaneity, gave Grace a tender kiss. The poor griffon was flustered, ???ut she had a hard time resisting the mare’s gesture. Her opinion of Chocolate raised, ???ut not the others, and she quickly excused herself without dropping charges. The gang attempted to ???ust Wax out (http://i.imgur.com/egZGtgm.png), ???ut their attempts made a lot of noise, and they were more or less kicked out of the police station. With Wax’s court date set for the next day, the gang headed ???ack to the market square to meetup with Pinch Hitter, Short Fuse, and ???right Wright, who had ???egun to really fix up ???right’s property (http://i.imgur.com/86AOuPk.png). The episode ended as the group discussed what needed to ???e done a???out the whole situation, and just getting to know each other. THE SHORT VERSION: TENTACLE FIGHT GRIFFON ???AM???OOZLER WAX IN JAIL Episode 2: The Misfits Arrive Harder (DM: Mort) As the group discussed what they should do, is ???ecame increasingly o???vious that none of them were clever ponies. Still, they came up with a plan that would hopefully work. Short Fuse watched the store while ???right and Pinch went shopping, and the rest of the gang decided to hit up the docks again to see if they could catch Grace scamming in the act. They didn’t find Grace, ???ut instead found another griffon ???y the name of Gladys. The group confronted her, and she played hard???all. Mentioning Grace ???eing attacked seemed to rile up Gladys, ???ut unfortunately griffon intimidation tactics have a hard time working on ponies. Gladys flew the coop, and were it not ???een for Capri’s excellent flying, the lead would have gone cold. Capri managed to track Gladys to a tucked away warehouse, where she entered after knocking on the door with a special rhythm as the passcode. The gang did some ???rief investigation work, seeing that there were *two* griffons inside, ???efore deciding that the right thing to do would ???e to confront the thieves directly. Grey Guard and Turnip did their ???est, ???ut it was a solid ???uck from Chocolate Chip that sent the door flying off its hinges, much to the shock of the griffons inside. In the ensuing scuffle, the griffons showed that their natural strength and flying a???ility was something to ???e reckoned with. It didn’t help either when Chocolate, the gang’s stronkpone, accidentally KO’d herself trying to do a flying suplex. However, the instant the tide ???egan to turn against them, the two griffons decided that it was ???etter to flee to scam another day. One of the griffons managed to escape, ???ut Gladys was captured (along with Weary Heart, Rose???ud, and Turnip) inside of Grey Guard’s force field. With a ???urst of inspiration, he somehow managed to keep the force field up despite Glady’s intense ???lows, ro??????ing her of the space needed to fly. It was 3v1, and even though Gladys was very strong, she eventually fell to her attackers. Weary Heart got the final ???low, giving Gladys a good sock that knocked her out cold. The group restrained the KO’d griffon, and took her, along with the rest of the evidence they found down to the police station. Sgt. Stern ???elieved their story, and logged everything away. He was impressed ???y the gang’s work, and even offered Grey Guard a spot in the police force, ???ut Grey suddenly dipped out for mysterious reasons. Unfortunately, he couldn’t let Wax go until her court date tomorrow, which the party eagerly attended. They volunteered to ???e Wax’s defense, ???ut it turns out that no???ody aside from the prosecution, including the judge, really knew how court actually worked. It was a madhouse, and even though the judge was successfully convinced that Grace was guilty of ro??????ery, she still sentenced Wax to 50 hours of community service. All in all, the gang had a rough first two days in their new home. ???ut, it helped them grow closer together. Trottingham’s a dump of a town, and it’s good to have pals to rely on, even though friendship is a fucking meme. THE SHORT VERSION: GRIFFON FIGHT WAX GETS FUCKED ???Y THE LEGAL SYSTEM DEAR PRINCESS CELESTIA TODAY I LEARNED THAT ALMOST ALL PRO???LEMS CAN ???E SOLVED THROUGH VIOLENCE LEVEL UP! Episode 3: Got Yer Goat part1 (DM: Cosmonaut) The Mane6 were gathered inside of ???right Wrights shop, which was due for it’s grand opening! A new pony, Zippersnap, who was on the ???oat, entered the shop and ???ecame fast friends with the group. Sometime soon after, Ginger the griffon entered the shop and announced she had 2 ???usiness licenses needing to ???e signed or else there would ???e penalties. There were two: one was for ???right Wrights store and the other for Capri Suns stand. ???oth needed to ???e signed ???efore sundown and with concern for their friend, the group headed off to try and find Capri’s home in Tack Row. After a couple of fruitless attempts of searching Chocolate Chip trotted over and announced she had just ???een past Capris house. When they knocked down the door to get inside (despite finding a key under the doormat) the group discovered she wasn’t home. Ginger, fed up and wanting to get ???ack to work, left the document with one of the ponies and left. After a ???rief investigation of a diary that was updated daily the gang found out Capris last entry was two days ???eforehand when she ???umped into a Daisy May at the marketplace, and no entries since. With a lead, the group exited the house to discuss what they should do next. Opposite of the street, 3 seedy looking stallions (Chump Change, Knuckle Sandwich and Hard ???argain) were in a tense discussion. Attempts to interrupt the stallions led to Zippersnap ???eing checked hard into the dirt and with some minor eavesdropping, the gang learned the two thuggish ponies were heading to a pony named Raceway, and heard the word sweet. Hard ???argain split from his two su???ordinates heading to his clu???, The Funky Pussyshack, and the other two went opposite. Zippersnap, having ???een knocked around, dsavcfdzcvdcdzzdcszcvczsdvzsdfgazsinitiated a fight against the thugs with the help of a gun weilding mare Daisy ???loom and a Toyota Sprinter Trueno (AE86). Chump Change was knocked out, and Knuckle Sandwich a???andoned his cohort to complete his mission. The gang dragged Chump Change into a near???y a???andoned office ???uilding and interrogated him harshly through intimidation and mean words. (http://i.imgur.com/oRuMAq5.png)Chump relented, agreeing to talk if he were safely let go. The gang learned the target was Raceway Riot and that Daisy May ran a salad stand that was very popular with the ponies in town. It was his and his partners jo??? to rough Raceway up. The gang held up their end of the deal and let the thug go. They eventually made their way to the popular food clearing Northwest of town where Sweet ???a???y Ray, Sweet Daisy May and Sour ???ill ???arley kept their food carts. After some shopping the gang learned from Sweet Daisy May that while indeed, the southern mare met Capri in the market and gave her permission to set up her drinks stand next to her salad stand, she had not seen hide nor hair of the Pegasus since that fateful meeting. The groups trail of clues had ended there. Chocolate Chip guessed that perhaps Capri had gotten lost and set her stand up in a different clearing. As they left, Sour ???ill ???arley [???locked their path] and attempted to weasel some money from the group, knowing of their misdeeds and of their aid to incarcerate Grace, who was a close friend of Garner, a male griffon loitering at the sour cart. The 6 were having none of that and successfully warded off the lanky sour stallion without paying an extra cent. It was at this juncture that Knuckle Sandwich appeared, popped out of the ???ushes to deliver a message from his ???oss Hard ???argain, and knocked out Raceway Riot with a head???utt. The group swiftly attacked and defeated the thug together, with ???loom dumping a whole lot of pain into the guy ???ehind some ???ushes where nopony could see. Soon after, the gang discoverd Capri Suns deserted and astray stand surrounded ???y cloven hoof prints in front of a ???eat up old tower. After a search of clues the gang cautiously entered the tower via a hatch in the ???ase level where they rested for the night surrounded ???y a pile of placid goats. Episode 4: Got Yer Goat part 2 (DM: Cosmonaut) The gang awakens from a power nap to find themselves surrounded ???y napping goats. Very quickly, they find that they were surrounded! After the goats dispersed Daisy ???loom discovered a chest with a goat inside it! There were also more ornery goats within who were all too eager to ???utt heads with the ponies. After finding a small key the group used dynamite to open the door to the next level down. Charging through the gang discovers many many more placid goats milling a???out and some more treasure chests (including one filled with nuts and ???olts). A treacherous whirlpool lay ???elow a small ???ridge and the gang tried jumping the gap. Weary Heart ???eefed it and fell right in, distur???ing the Goo???er ???oopler who lay within! The ???attle to vanquish the tentacled menace was quick and decisive actions soon sent the ded squid to the ???ottom of the whirlpool, where its ???ody clogged the swirling torrent of water. The goats were still angry ???ut otherwise placid a???out the whole situation. In the 3rd level the gang found more loot and more goats. This time, they discovered a ???ig key unlocking the ???ig door. They enter to find a small room with two goats inside standing guard. Turnip discovers a ???lue thermos ???elonging to Capri Sun on the floor right outside. With great consternation they charge inside. Grogar the demon ram lays within the cham???er, encased in a pure solidified ???lock of magic. He tells the gang that he used Capri to try and remove the magic encasing him, ???ut as a Pegasus, she only removed very little. As the gang tries to escape with Capri a metal gate slides closed right ???ehind them and Grogar summons his two lackeys, ???illy Goat Gruff and ???illy Goat ???luff to attack. The gang take out ???illy Goat Gruff quite handily and figure out that ???luff has ???een ???linded ???y scalding hot water and is wearing two eyepatches. As Turnip and Weary lure ???illy Goat ???luff to the metal gate Grogar summons his muscle to help: The Angry Ram. This fearsome foe is too much of a match for the gang and they manage to get the gate smashed to peices and escape Grogars lair. As they make their way to the exit of the 1st level the gang discovers Corner Pocket and two goats ???locking the way. Corner Pocket asks what the state of Grogar and his lackeys are in and reveal themselves to ???e changelings in disguise, working on a mission to team Chrysalis up with the goat king. A swift ???attle ends these ???ugs and two of the knocked out changelings are roped up and sent to jail. Capri Sun signs her document just in time and is spared hefty fines and the day is saved! Meanwhile outside….two donkeys point out the shop they want their muscle to hit up... Episode 5: Feeling a Little Under The Wither (DM: Mort) The gang started their day ???y ???umping into each other at the docks. The usual gang was missing Chocolate Chip, ???ut through sheer coincidence Chip’s little sister, Sundae Sher???ert, was there. She and Pinch Hitter decided to play a ???it of ???ase???all, with Sundae demonstrating her utter lack of athletic skill, while the rest decided to chat. The peace of the morning was interrupted when a tentacle rose up out of the water, holding a note in a ???ottle. Short Fuse didn’t trust it in the slightest and attempted to ???low it up with a stick of dynamite. Rather than attack, the tentacle peacefully offered the note, which revealed that it was among the tentacles that attacked the ship the gang sailed into Trottingham on. Moreover, it wanted to apologize and make friends. The rest of the group was a little cautious, ???ut Pinch decided to take the initiative and decided to consummate the friendship ???y clim???ing onto the tentacle for free rides. However, the tentacle then used another note to reveal that it was actually still evil, and it ???rought its gigantic dad as ???ackup. It tried to forcefully toss Pinch off, ???ut she expertly stuck the landing, and, along with the rest of the gang, fled the rampaging tentacles. Once the group had put some distance ???etween themselves and the docks, they decided to rest easy ???ecause it’s not like the tentacles could chase them. As they caught their ???reath, Sgt. Stern and Patty Wagon galloped past them, rushing to stop the tentacle menace. Short Fuse chased after them, offering the use of his explosives. Unfortunately, Patty is not a clever pony, and she accidentally detonated everything while Short Fuse was explaining how it worked. Afterwards, Patty let it slip that the reason why the guards were having so much trou???le was that they were out of Tentacle-???-Gone. This may or may not ???e a result of their last quartermaster ???eing fired due to ???udget cuts. Short Fuse lived up to his name, and, with single-minded determination, decided to fix this pro???lem so that he could launch a formal complaint. Dragging the rest of the gang to the guard station, Short decided that, since the guards were stupid enough to let things get this ???ad, perhaps there was some Tentacle-???-Gone that they had just overlooked. All of the guards had ???een called to deal with the tentacle crisis, so the station was completely empty. Well, almost, Grace was still in her holding cell. The group decided to catch up with her while Pinch and Short looked for spare ???ottles of Tentacle-???-Gone. The pair ended up finding only an empty ???ottle, ???ut the ???ottle’s la???el said that it was ???rewed ???y a mysterious individual named Tsavo. The group grilled Grace for information on this enigmatic pony, ???ut she was tight-???eaked at first. She offered to make a deal for her freedom in exchange for information, ???ut Short Fuse threatened her into giving up the information. She revealed that Tsavo wasn’t a pony, ???ut a ze???ra who sold strange and ???izarre potions at his stand in the West Square of Trottingham. The group ???id her farewell, and set off. The group didn’t take long to get to the West Square, and it took even less time to spy a rather ???izarre little market stand sitting inconspicuously off to the side, manned ???y a rather ram???unctious-looking ze???ra (http://i.imgur.com/Nf0R6hk.png). He proudly welcomed them to Tsavo’s Potion Emporium, and warmly asked them a???out what they needed. He seemed persona???le enough...until he revealed that a ???ottle of Tentacle-???-Gone would cost 1000 ???its. It was so much that Pinch decided to try to steal it while Tsavo was distracted. Unfortunately for her, Tsavo is quick with his mind and even quicker with his hooves. Had she ???een older, he would have cursed Pinch on the spot, ???ut instead he decided to just raise the price of the Tentacle-???-Gone ???y 200 ???its as punishment. Short Fuse tried to convince the others to pool their money, ???ut Weary Heart decided to try a different approach. She knew ze???ras were ???arterers, and she offered a ???ox of “Rare Tim???erwolf Grounds” in exchange for the Tentacle-???-Gone. She had a will of steel and a silver tongue (aka she got super fucking lucky), which made Tsavo ???uy her lie and complete the trade. The group rushed ???ack to the docks and handed off the Tentacle-???-gone to Patty, who poured all of the contents into the ocean in ???etween the thrashing tentacles. They were repulsed ???y in, and quickly left the har???or in peace. The tentacles threw one last parting message, telling the party that it was just a prank and what they did wasn’t cool. Once peace and tranquility returned to the har???or, Short Fuse was finally a???le to make his complaint (which the guards promptly ignored entirely), and everypony parted ways at least somewhat satisfied. The guards reim???ursed Short Fuse for the lost explosives. However...later that evening, Tsavo realized that he had ???een taken for a ride when the potion he was making ???lew up in his face after he added the grounds he received from Weary Heart. He was not a ze???ra who took well to ???eing crossed, and vowed to make sure that those cheats, liars, and thieves wouldn’t get away with it. THE SHORT VERSION: TENTACLE’S REVENGE 40% PONY 60% ANGERY GUARDHOUSE RAIDING (???ut not stealing anything) GRIFFON INTERROGATING ZE???RA ???AM???OOZLING Tentacles get fucked, everyone is slightly happier a???out their shitty lives (Except Short fuse who got complaint-cucked) Episode 6: Great Pone Heist (or how I lost my marbles) TL;DR: Ponies make steaks, and when they do, ponies should fuck them. Also Wax Wings violated her parole. The group received an anonymous letter to several ponies about a “job” and met up with Pinch Hitter at a fountain, who revealed to have been the one to send out the letter. After meeting up with her, they went down to a Dentist’s office down a dank alleyway. Inside the Dentist’s office, they were startled to see that their benefactor was a walkie talkie, who named themselves “Pain.” Pain offered them a job that would rescue Wax Wings, but in return, help secure the valuables located under Wax Wing’s place of holding, the Big Library. Geared up and with spirits high, they scouted the Big Library, finding “Pain’s” bag of gear. Once suited up, the ponies went to work(http://i.imgur.com/a3SsVYx.png http://i.imgur.com/9RDmYtF.png http://i.imgur.com/ouXYsGl.png http://i.imgur.com/2s0yOWB.png http://i.imgur.com/2lniD5V.png ). Things were going well, at first… As a patrolling guard from PoneSEC was doing her rounds, Pinch Hitter and Ace Shot were discovered skulking around. Immediately, Ace took a shot at the PoneSEC guard, in an attempt to knock them out, but to no avail. The PoneSEC guards proved hardy and resilient to blunt force trauma. Undeterred, Pinch Hitter tried her own hoof at showing the guard what for, but to no avail. The Guard was not on full alert, and the alarm was sound. Quickly, the ponies that were merely browsing through the library's rich inventory began to panic, the PoneSEC guards started corralling the fillies. The team on the roof decided this was the most opportune moment to rescue Wax Wings, and smashed through the glass ceiling, hoisted down via a series of pulleys. Short Fuse rappelled down and hoisted Wax Wings out, a PoneSEC guard attempting to stun her, but Wax Wings was able to avoid their attempts. Foul Play, who was too slow to react on the roof, was quickly detained by a team of PoneSEC guards. He was questioned intensely later that day, and held as an accessory to crime. Once on the roof, the rooftop ponies made their swift escape, leaving the ground team of Pinch Hitter, Ace Shot, and Quick Step, who had an unfortunate confrontation with a stick of Dynamite. She was paid by the Big Library a lump sum of 50 bits for damages, hoping to keep the Library’s image from getting tarnished. Pinch Hitter and Ace shot were cornered by the PoneSEC guard they alerted, but through sheer luck, they were able to evade arrest and made their escape away from the Big Library ( http://i.imgur.com/X43Ib9h.png ). Once free, everyone regrouped at the fountain where they met, reveling in the freedom of their convict friend, Wax Wings. The time of joyous reunion was short lived when the 2 guard ponies responsible for Wax Wing’s original arrest detained her and took her away, back to prison. Everyone had fun, at least.