Booty Patrol Oneshots

>Day that bitch needs a ticket at Equestria High.

>Be pinkie.

>You haven't picked on Norman for awhile, so let's do that.

>You get right behind him.

WOOP WOOP!

>"Wh-what the-"

Pull over.

>"Wh-"

Sir, pull over right now.

>"But we aren't driving cars Pink-"

Pull. Over.

>Norman "pulls over" to the right side of the hallway.

>You Pull up next to him.

>He sighs.

>"Any problem officer?"

Do you know how fat that ass is?

>"Wh-"

That ass is illegally fat.

>"I... but... wh-"

I'm going to have to take you in to custody.

>"WHY?"

Because sir...

>You put on sunglasses.

Booty patrol is always on the roll.

>"Pinkie... what the fuck?"

Alright alright... i'll give you a warning. But only this once.

>You slap him on the butt.

Now get back to class.

>You do it again.

>"Okay gees!"

>You follow Norman the whole day, slapping his butt.

>There is no escape from the booty patrol.

 

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>Day make dat ass clap at Equestria High.

>Be Pinkie.

>Yesterday you did the best thing ever.

>You made the "booty patrol".

>Basically its just an excuse to slap Norman on the butt all day.

>You'd like to do it again today, but it seems as though Norman is hiding from you.

>That means...

>He's on the lamb.

WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP!

>You run down the hallway making a siren noise.

>"U-um, Pinkie, wh-what are you doing... if you don't mind me asking..." asks Fluttershy.

Oh hay Shy. I'm chasing after Norman. He's a wanted suspect.

>"W-what? Oh my... wanted for what?"

Wanted for dat ass.

>You bite your lip just thinking about that thing.

>"Wait, you are chasing Norman... f-for his... butt?"

Yep. And when i find him, i'm gonna slap it. Wanna join? Having a partner would be fun!

>"I-i wouldn't mind..."

Cool, here's your uniform.

>You just slip it over her normal clothes.

Got it fit exactly for you.

>"Wh-what?"

You know... just in case you did join. Now lets go find our criminal!

>You and Fluttershy are now both making siren noises throughout the school.

>You get a call on your cell.

>It's Fluttershy.

>You answer it.

What's the 10-4 partner? over.

>"C-criminal in bound for main hallway, coming down your 6... over."

Gotcha. Over and out.

>You hang up and begin to run down the opposite end of the hallway.

WOOP WOOP!

>You see Norman heading your way.

>You tackle him.

>"UGH, PINKIE GET OFF! I NEED TO GET TO HISTORY!"

You have the right to get your butt slapped. Every slap will be held against you. You have the right for an attorney, who will also slap your butt.

>"PINKIE COME ON!"

That's OFFICER Pinkie.

>You slap him on the butt.

>"WOOP WOOP!" sirens Fluttershy pulling up to you.

Just on time partner, criminal apprehended.

>"G-good job partner. Now to send him to but slapping jail." she says weakly tapping him on the butt.

No Fluttershy, you gotta hit it like this.

*PAP*

>"SERIOUSLY, COME ON!" yells Norman.

>Fluttershy slaps once again, this time making the appropriate papping noise.

>*RIIIIING*

Welp, that's lunch time. See you at the table Norman. We can pick up after lunch.

>"Y-yeah. Make sure to not run away once lunch is over, or your sentence will be heightened."

>He audibly sighs.

>"I hate this fucking school so much." he says.

>You slap him on the butt.

Get moving, we don't have all day.

>Another day saved, thanks to the booty patrol

 

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>Day watch yoself at Equestria High.

>Be Pinkie.

>Booty patrol has been going on for a week now.

>It's going strong too.

>Me and Fluttershy have been busting Norman back to back.

>This is just great!

>Though it feels like it could be... greater,but how?

>"What are you thinking about Pinkie? Norman's butt?" asks Fluttershy.

Kinda. I'm thinking about if the booty patrol should expand even more.

>"Like, more than just you and me?"

Yeah. Who else would want to catch Norman in the act of holding illegal substances?

>Fluttershy looks at you quizzically.

His butt.

>"Oooooh! Yeah, well how about Twili-"

You kidding? She would just call it all off. She doesn't have the guts for this force.

>"Maybe she could be like our forensics officer."

Thats... not a bad idea, lets go get her.

>You and Fluttershy go find Twilight.

>You explain everything.

>Surprisingly she accepts.

>Guess everyone knows how great that booty is.

>You once again track down Norman with Fluttershy.

>You cuff him up, spank him on that choice ass, and take him to Twilight.

>"Oh thank god, Twilight, you have to talk some sense into these two. They keep spanking me on the bu-"

>"First we will need to confirm the roundness of the buttock." she says putting on glove.

>"Not you too Twi..."

>"Place him on the examining table."

>You both do as she instructs and place him on the lunch table.

>Twilight takes both hands and clamps down on his butt.

>You hear him make a weird noise.

>Kinda cute.

>She kneads and squeezes it all over.

>"Alright then. Time for the molding."

>"WHAT?"

>Twilight places a clay like substance over Norman's butt.

>It begins to take shape of his butt.

>"We can use this later as a test." she says putting it down on the table.

Well doc, what do you think? What's the cause of this butt?

>"Hormones and a High metabolism."

Genius, but how do we stop it?

>"I'm sorry officer Pinkie... this ass never stops."

*gasp*... oh well.

>You all highfive.

>BOOTY PATROL SAVES THE DAY AGAIN!