Laska and Me - Chapter 1

Life had been okay, I suppose. Could’ve been better, could’ve been worse.

 

Entering my thirties, I did not want for money. An accident and later lawsuit had given me ample cash, most of which I invested. I figured I’d be able to live off of it for the rest of my life if I didn’t go too crazy. Though I could always get a part-time job or something for a bit of extra money if needed.

 

Living in a small house on the outskirts of the city, I lived comfortably, but alone. Very alone. Unfortunately romance had never been my forte, leaving me a lonely soul for long, sad stretches of time. As I got older, the desire for love only intensified. But, it wasn’t so much a want for sex - it was more like someone to share my life with. Someone I could bond with, that I could laugh and cry with, get mad at and make up with. Someone to, in a word, love. Does it seem strange?

 

One day I had an odd thought. What about adopting someone? I had plenty of time and money; I could certainly use that to help someone, couldn’t I? The more I considered it, the more my heart ached and pined. I couldn’t really explain it with words; I just knew raising a child desperate for a loving home would be the salve for my soul.

 

I did a pretty decent amount of research, finally submitting an application to the city social services center. Unfortunately I didn’t have much hope, however, as my information had indicated that single men are very rarely chosen as candidates for adoption. Deflated but not defeated, I still kept the tiniest flames of hope in my heart.

 

Several weeks passed, but I had heard nothing. By this point I figured that my application was less than satisfactory, and presumed to have been rejected. But, as I realized, sometimes hope it not in vain. I heard the phone ringing right about the time I was about to snuff out that flame. It just had to be what I was hoping for, didn’t it?

 

It was.

 

The woman on the other end was from social services, and my application was considered ideal for a special case. If I was still interested.

 

“Special?” I asked.

 

“Yes, a trying situation involving a child; a young girl,” she said.

 

“That’s fine. It’s more than fine, it’s great.”

 

“Excellent. Can I meet with you in person tomorrow afternoon?”

 

“Sure! I look forward to meeting with you.”

 

“Great, I’ll talk with you tomorrow then. Good bye.”

 

“See you tomorrow,” I said, hanging up the receiver.

 

I’ve never felt my spirits soar higher than they are now. Opportunity has arisen, and like hell I’m going to let it slip through my fingers. I’ve always been one to go with the currents, letting life take you where it wants. But, now, I’m going to make a stand.

 

--

 

The door rang, and I rushed to answer - it’s the woman from social services. She introduced herself, and I replied in kind, inviting her in. She looked around, then went over to the sofa and coffee table. She has a briefcase with her that she set down, popped open, and produced several documents from.

 

Then she invited me to sit down beside her.

 

“And here is the special case I was talking about,” she said, showing me a document.

 

I was kind of surprised; she’d shown me a little monstergirl. Truthfully I had expected a human child, so I asked her why I was chosen.

 

“Yes, we do try to place various species with adoptive parents of their own kind, but like I said, this is a… special case,” she said as I read the document. “She has a fear of women because of her mother, so we’ve been looking for single men to take her in.”

 

I mumbled out a response, becoming more focused on the papers in my hand.

 

There, in the top left corner, is a photo of the girl. I recognized her species, but her colors were a bit unusual. Rather than a violet hair and fur coloring, she’s nearly jet black, streaked through with indigo. What should be golden eyes are a deep, bold orange. Her ears are… ragged and rough along the edges. Her right ear appears to be missing a significant portion near the base.

 

“Shouldn’t her ears be smooth and pert,” I asked.

 

The social services woman shifted uncomfortably. “Her mother would punish her by cutting her ears with a knife.”

 

With her words I felt a sudden weight in my guts, like they’d been filled with lead.

 

The girl’s face, one I thought that should be smiling and joyous, is instead sombre and morose. There’s no light or sparkle to her eyes. Even the little heart mark under her eye seems sad or tragic owing to its black coloring.

 

Scanning the rest of the document, I saw that her name was Laska. Age five. Below her brief bio was her background.

 

She was taken from her mother and father last year due to abuse and neglect. Her mother would physically harm her on an almost daily basis, according to testimony. The father never participated, and was thought to attempt to stop the abuse, but never filed a report. The final incident that sparked her removal was when neighbors heard cries from inside the house after the parents had left and had called police. Once officers arrived, they forced their way inside and found Laska balled up in the corner, crying and bleeding from her ears and tail. She showed several deep bruises across her body as well. At the emergency room, doctors ascertained she was significantly underweight and malnourished.

 

Laska now has a fear of older women, and will do everything she can to avoid contact with them. As her father was never complicit in the abuse, she does not seem to harbor a fear of men, though so far she has not been able to be placed into a home. She’s extremely wary and untrusting, and seldom speaks. Since taken into state care last year, she has been in and out of three prospective homes. Two of which were with family.

 

Initial evaluations with psychologists indicate she’s extremely shy and introverted, but they suspect she’s also very curious and intelligent. Unfortunately they haven’t been able to do much other than cursory examinations due to her uncooperativeness.

 

And now she’s fallen to me. A man like me is supposed to be able to nurture and care for this girl? I almost told the social services woman that there’s no way I could do it… but I shifted my focus to the picture again. How long will she go from home to home? She’s already been with three others in a year.

 

I set the papers down, looking at the backs of my hands, then turning them over to gaze at my palms. I clenched and relaxed my hands a few times. Was this to be my purpose that I’ve waited for in life? Why was I shying away from this opportunity that I had so looked forward to?

 

Steeling myself, I turned to the woman.

 

“Yes, I’d like to be meet this girl. This adorable little girl.”

 

“That’s the first time anyone has called her adorable,” she said, raising an eyebrow and smiling. “Most people see her scars and tattered ears, and want nothing to do with her…”

 

Scars?

 

I examined the picture more carefully. Sure enough, she has a few light scars on her face, particularly one that goes across the bridge of her nose, cheek to cheek.

 

Why would anyone do this? I just can’t fathom it.

 

“She’s still the cutest little girl I’ve ever seen,” I said, believing most of my own words.

 

“Great,” she said, “Can you come tomorrow in the late morning?”

 

Of course.

 

--

 

After a nervous, sleepless night, I woke earlier than usual. I wanted to make a good first impression, so I had to prepare as such. Oh, it’s almost like a date, I mused to myself. Putting on some of my better clothing, I headed out earlier than needed. Like a date, I thought, I should bring a small gift.

 

Inside the lobby of the state orphanage, I gave my name and who I was supposed to meet with the receptionist. She smiled and told me to have a seat.

 

Sitting down, I fidgeted with my little gift. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I’m not so sure. Squeezing it and turning it about in my hands, I stared the stuffed fish in the face. I’m not quite sure what kind of fish it’s supposed to be. Maybe a tuna?

 

“Please come this way,” a voice snapped me from my thoughts, giving me a slight startle. I nearly dropped that fish.

 

My heart was racing. Is it because of her surprise, or has it been like that since yesterday?

 

Leading me to a small room with a desk and chairs, the woman I spoke with yesterday along with a man interviewed me. Asking me about my background and this and that. After a while I was sure they’d call me a worthless shitheel, but surprisingly they seem pleased with me. They murmured amongst themselves, making notes in a file that I wish I could’ve read.

 

Finally, they both stood up, smiling. “This way please,” the man said. Leading me out of the room, he took me to another one. Walking through the hallways I couldn’t help but notice all the… white. Everything was very bright and white. Very clinical.

 

Entering another room with two chairs, the man directed me to sit in the far one. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he said. My heart was thumping heavily in my chest, and my hands were trembling. This is worse than any date, I thought.

 

The minutes ticked by, every second counted for by the unusually loud clock on the wall. Is it loud, or I am just overly sensitive?

 

The door knob clacked, and my heart jumped to my throat. The door slowly swung open, and I saw the man, his arm held down low to his side. In his hand was a tiny little paw, and attached to that paw with a tiny girl with boyishly short black hair and a pair of beat-up ears atop her head. Those little ears twitched slightly, and how cute I thought they were.

 

Then her orange eyes looked at me, though I couldn’t see any emotion in them. It was like she was looking through me.

 

The man lead her in, and I got a better look at her outfit. I was expecting she’d be in a dress, but instead she was in a red shirt and white shorts. Not the most attractive attire for a girl like her, I admit.

 

She kept staring at me all the while, strangely enough, never looking up at the man that lead her in. I wonder what she’s thinking.

 

“I’ll let you two get acquainted. I’ll be right outside the door if you need anything,” he said in a gentle voice, letting go of the tiny cat’s paw near the chair closer to the door. Then he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

 

“Hello, Laska,” I said, trying to think of what to say next.

 

Still weary, she slunk behind the chair and squats down, always keeping her eyes on me. A shadow highlighted by those two bright, orange eyes. Her tail was curled around one of the chair’s legs, exaggerating her cute, cat-like appearance. It doesn’t appear she’s afraid. Or happy, for that matter. I wasn’t sure how to read her.

 

I was still holding the fish, though it was slightly damp due to my clammy hands.

 

“I, ah, got this for you, if you want it.”

 

Her eyes darted to the fish, then back to me. She never moved.

 

“I’d like to get to know you better,” I said. “What do you like? Do you have any friends here?”

 

No response aside from her twitching tail.

 

“Well, maybe you’d like to know about me? Ha ha, of course, why not,” I said, laughing more to calm my nerves than hers. I hadn’t even given her my name yet. I introduced myself, and told her a little bit about myself.

 

Still no response. Her eyes were glued to mine, though. What is she looking for? It was then I noticed the scar running across her nose for the first time. It’s faint, but visible. I wonder if it’ll ever heal? From her face my eyes drifted up to those tattered, mangled ears. And, as if on queue, that right ear that was missing a piece twitched.

 

I asked her about herself again, but as always there was no response. Other than myself, the only other sound in the room was the ticking of the clock. I wondered if the man will come back in, saying I’m no good for this.

 

No, I thought, I cannot allow that to happen.

 

I thought maybe she’d open up if I kept talking about myself. So I went on, and on, and on. How much time ticked past? Had to have been hours. I wound up telling Laska my entire life story, spilling my guts to the small girl I didn’t even really know.

 

Did the man outside the door hear me? Was he even still there? My nerves were beginning to fray. Not my patience, no, I never blamed Laska. No matter how much I smiled or attempted to be nice, she wouldn’t respond.

 

It had to be my fault, right?

 

At some point I began shifting from factual knowledge to more emotional topics without really thinking, talking to her like she was a silent therapist. Occasionally her eyes would shift a little, or her head would just barely tilt. Or maybe it was just my imagination?

 

“Can’t you see I just want you to speak, even a few words? Why do you hate me so much?” I began, not out of anger, but frustration. Frustration with myself. Why can’t I do anything right? I can’t even get a girl who is barely above my knees to talk. Not a word.

 

“It’s okay… you can hate me all you want. Everyone else does. I just wanted a chance, you know? Just a chance. Is that so much to ask?”

 

Staring down at my hands, I balled them up into weak fists. I thought I’d be able to do something. Instead I’m just a powerless, weak little man. Without realizing it, tears began to stream down my face. Oh god, I thought, I don’t want that little girl to see this. I covered my face with my hands, leaning down, apologizing to Laska.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I said, before my sobs took away my ability to speak.

 

How long passed? I don’t recall, the ticking of the clock was overpowered by my own muffled sobs.

 

At some point, I felt a little tug on my pants. I’d almost missed it.

 

Uncovering my face, I peered through my fingers down at the floor. I saw a pair of brilliant orange eyes gazing up at me. Her paw was still holding onto my pants.

 

“Why are you so sad? Does it hurt?” she said, pointing at my chest with her other paw.

 

I nodded my head.

 

Then she grabbed onto my other leg, and began to pull herself up onto my lap. I leaned back so she could fit, though with her tiny body I almost didn’t have to. Then, as best as she was able, she wrapped her tiny paws around my chest.

 

“I hurt too,” she said, her meek voice muffled in my chest.

 

A few more tears squeezed out, dripping down my cheek onto her ears. They twitched a little, but she held fast to me. Slowly, carefully, as if I could crush her to nothingness, I wrapped my arms around her as well. As I cradled her, silent tears continued to stream down. For how long, I don’t know.

 

All I knew is I never wanted it to end.

 

--

 

The night is long and filled with form after form. I suspected there would be a great deal involved in adopting a child, but I wondered why I needed to sign this endless mountain of paperwork. Most of it seemed to ask the same questions, just phrased a little differently. Sighing and yawning yet another time, I looked down at my leg.

 

Laska had become quite attached to me; perhaps feeling a connection to me after my emotional outburst. According to the man and woman, no one else had really shown much emotion when talking to her the first time. So, in an odd twist, my weakness had become a strength. In a way. And now here she was, curled up against my leg, bundled in a blanket, and fast asleep.

 

I also got a first hand look at her fear of women when the female social worker entered the room. Terror coursed through her tiny frame, and she cowered meekly behind me. Trembling, she clung to me tightly, her eyes screwed shut and her ears laid flat upon her head. Picking her up and holding her to my chest seemed to calm her, but she never really relaxed until the woman left.

 

So it was just me and the man in the room, filling out all this infernal paperwork. Eventually, sometime just before the stroke of the next day, I was done. I wanted to stand up triumphantly, but Laska was still laying against me. Since I did not want to disturb her, I did my best to avoid moving that leg. Now it was long numb and asleep. Standing up in a rush probably wouldn’t have been possible anyways.

 

Reaching down to give Laska a gentle shake, she woke after a few motions, looking up at me with sleepy eyes.

 

“We’re going home now,” I said.

 

Laska blinked a few times, rubbing the sleep from her eyes in a motion not unlike a cat.

 

“...Home?”

 

“Yes, home.”

 

I struggled to find other words to say, but settled on mentioning that we’re family now.

 

“My home is now your home. It’s not a large house, or especially fancy, and I never really considered it more than something other than a place to live and sleep, but… now it’s home. Laska’s home.”

 

“Okay,” she said, “Home sounds good…”

 

I smiled and noded, reaching down to pick her up. She hesitated slightly at first, but then allowed me to hold her up. Supporting her with one arm, she wrapped hers around my neck to help support herself.

 

The man on the other side of the desk smiled. “We’ll go over the last of the details tomorrow, but now, officially, she’s your family.”

 

It was a struggle to fight back more tears. I thought I’d shed them all already.

 

--

 

The ride back to my house was quiet. Laska was content to look out the windows at all that she could see in the dark, saying little. Once we arrived, she seemed eager to explore the unfamiliar building. To go from that sullen girl to one with a spark of curiosity filled me with such hope. I opened the door, and she looked up at me wordlessly.

 

“Yes, this is your home now, you’re free to enter as you wish,” I said. She smiled. It was tiny and slight and nearly ephemeral, but it was a smile.

 

She darted ahead of me inside, pausing in every room and looking at me. I explained what every room was as we went along in the small house, but there was a snag. Due to how fast things proceeded - much faster than I had anticipated, I didn’t have time to set up her bedroom. I didn’t even have furniture yet. I explained as much when we got to my computer room; what was to be her bedroom.

 

 

 

 

 

“There’s no bed,” she had said, looking around the room, then back up at me.

 

“Yes, I’m sorry, but we’ll go buy you a bed tomorrow, okay? For now you’ll have to sleep with me… or oh, I can just sleep on the couch and you can have the bed.”

 

“It’s okay, I wanna sleep with you” she said, shaking her head. I smiled, sighed, and pat her on the head, scratching her rough ears. She seemed to enjoy it.

 

The orphanage had given me another few sets of clothes, but I’d need to buy some more anyways. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day, I thought.

 

We brushed our teeth and changed into pajamas, then crawled into bed. Laska crawled in after me, curling up in my chest and arms like a cat.

 

“Good night,” she said, drifting off to sleep so quickly, the barest hints of happiness on her face.

 

I kissed her forehead and whispered goodnight. How I wished this could never end.

 

I think I stayed awake the entire night, thinking of all that was to come.

 

Furniture, clothes, social worker visits, psychologist visits, school, school purchases.

 

Would she ever call me father, or dad, or daddy? Could I call her daughter?

 

What was she actually like? What were her interests?

 

Would she be kind? Would she be cruel?

 

Would she love me?

 

--

 

 

 

The dawn of the morning brought with it no answers to my questions, but nothing in life is ever easy, is it?

 

Laska awoke sometime after daybreak, still curled up in my arms. I had dared not move, though I certainly paid the price in aching muscles and joints.

 

“Good morning,” she said. “Good morning,” I replied. She blinked a few times, then moved towards the edge of the bed, but halted, looking back at me.

 

I told her she can do whatever she wants, this is her home now. Nodding, she hopped off and ran towards the bathroom. Figured now was as good a time as any to make breakfast, so I got up as well. I then realized that I’ve never really made breakfast before. Or cooked at all, really. Sure, there were things here and there, and I knew enough to follow a recipe, but never really a meal or something for someone other than myself.

 

Heading towards the kitchen, Laska appeared from the bathroom, looking at me curiously. I asked if she wanted to help with breakfast.

 

“Sure,” she replied, trailing in right behind me. How much could she actually help? Well, it’s the thought that counts, especially seeing as how she was being rather energetic and agreeable.

 

It wasn’t as bad as I would have thought. Rather than jumping in and attempting to simply do things to ‘help,’ she’d watch me for a while, then mirror the action. She was a bit clumsy, but I attributed it to her age. I’d read somewhere that children don’t fully develop their motor functions until they were seven or eight or something. Well, the downside to her way of helping meant I had double batches of everything, and of course I had to eat her cooking first.

 

After breakfast, and throwing out some when she wasn’t looking, I contemplated what to do next. Normally I’d hop in the shower, but now I had to consider Laska. Truthfully I was a bit scared of this step, and considered waiting for the social worker to ask if it was alright for me to bathe her. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed a silly thing to fret over. I was her parent now, and parents washed their children. Though I did wonder at what point that was supposed to stop. At five years old, did she still require help to bathe? Shifting my jaw back and forth, I looked down at her while I stood in the kitchen.

 

She tilted her head at my odd stare.

 

“Are you ready for a bath?” I asked, unsure of how I was supposed to phrase the question.

 

“Bath? Okay,” she said matter-of-factly.

 

I asked her to go get a change of clothes for herself, and then if she could do it herself or if she wanted me there. Once again I was met with her little head tilt. That seemed to be her default way of showing that she didn’t understand a situation.

 

“Are you fine on your own?”

 

“I… don’t know. They always were with me.”

 

So, yes, I would have to help her.

 

I went to draw a hot bath while she grabbed her clothes. Sitting on the edge of the tub, I realized it’d been ages since I had a bath. Maybe I’d take one after if I had time.

 

Things weren’t as difficult as I imagined. I thought it’d be kind of awkward, though maybe that’s because I’m not exactly used to people stripping in front of me. Family or otherwise. But, while washing her hair and fur, I was able to get a closer look at her wounds. Her tail was full of scars down its length, and I got a close-up look at the scar that ran across her face and the gash cut into her ear. I wasn’t sure if it made me more sad or angry. She seemed to enjoy the whole experience though, closing her eyes and going more or less limp as I scrubbed her. When I finished she seemed to pout a little, and asked me to keep going. I laughed and told her that she’d turn into a raisin if she stayed in the water too long. That seemed to prove ample motivation to get her out of the tub.

 

Afterwards I elected for a fast shower since her bath took a bit longer than I thought. Needed to hurry so I could purchase a bedroom set for her before the social worker came, though for some reason she insisted on staying in the bathroom the entire time while I cleaned myself up.

 

The furniture store was an interesting experience. Perhaps asking a five year old what they wanted for a bedroom set was a bit much, so I wound up having to pick out things myself. She seemed to like everything, whereas I didn’t care much for any of it. Everything for girls seemed too… girly, I guess. Eventually I settled on a dark-stained wood set, and for sheets and whatnot I tried to pick a color that matched her hair. A nice, deep blue. She seemed to love it, but then again she seemed to love everything.

 

Though there was a scare when she drifted away when I was looking at one set. Fortunately she had just climbed up onto a show piece to sleep. As much as I would have liked to let her stay there, I had to collect her while the staff glowered at me. She seemed a little cranky, but didn’t say a whole lot or do anything like I would’ve expected from a tired child. I think it was about here that I started to get an idea about why she was acting the way she did.

 

We got home just in time to meet with the social worker. Fortunately, it was a man this time, so Laska wasn’t terribly bothered by his presence. Unfortunately, finishing up various paperwork took far longer than I had thought, but I was able to ask questions about things like bathing earlier. He laughed at my questions and assured me there wasn’t anything ‘wrong’ about what I had done. In fact, it was probably best that I stayed close to her. Comforting knowledge, I suppose.

 

There was going to be a monthly psychologist visit, and soon she would start school. I asked what would be done about all the older women that’d be found in a school. He told me that they’d ensure she was in a class with a male teacher, and there would be attempts to keep female staff away from her, or at least at a distance. Basically, she’d be considered ‘special needs’ for a while, which worried me.

 

I asked if I couldn’t homeschool her for a while, but was told that if I did that she’d never acclimate to other people or socialize. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I looked down at Laska, who had fallen asleep in my lap. Scratching her behind the ears, I asked if ‘special needs’ meant she’d be taken of intellectually, at least. I mentioned what happened at breakfast and how quickly she learned. He nodded and said they’d try to take care of her like that as well. Still full of trepidation, I reluctantly agreed - though I don’t think I really had much choice in the matter.

 

As the school year was almost over, they’d enroll her in kindergarten in the fall when she was six. Being a year older than her peers would give her an advantage, as well as significant disadvantages. Nervously, I asked him what the odds of her getting into the first grade instead were so that she wouldn’t be ‘behind a year,’ in a manner of speaking. He seemed to like my question, and told me to educate her over the summer and they’d do an evaluation near the end. Fair enough.

 

With that, our conversation and paperwork mercifully came to a close, and we bid farewell. It had turned from afternoon to evening, and I didn’t have much to do. Normally I’d just settle down in front of the PC. Looking at Laska, who was awake now since I had to roll her off me, I figured those days were over.

 

“What do you want to do,” I asked.

 

She tilted her head back and forth, her ears twitching energetically. “Can we do anything?”

 

I wasn’t expecting such a dangerous response. “Almost anything.”

 

“I… I want to go outside,” she said, her orange eyes gleaming. Now it was my turn to be the one confused.

 

“Outside?” I asked. “What do you want to do outside?”

 

“I want to go outside,” she repeated, though less confident this time, as if I was going to say no.

 

“Well, okay, we can go outside. Come on.” I walked over to the door and held it open, motioning for her to come. She was hesitant at first, but then left the couch and headed for the door, looking at me all the while. I smiled, and she took that as approval to head out. Once outside, she just kind of stood around in the dark of the eve, looking around. Her ears twitched, her tail cavorted about, but she just stood there.

 

A few fireflies blinked nearby, catching her attention. She ran forward, attempting to grab them from the air with her paws. Sitting down on the stoop, I watched her run around catching fireflies, smiling all the while. How fascinating that I’d be entertained by this little every-day scene. I was fairly sure if it was any other child I’d have just turned around and looked for something else to do. What I found most curious was that when she would manage to snag a firefly from the air, she’d quickly open her paw to let it go, watching it crawl around in her fur before taking flight.

 

“Do you want me to get a jar and we can keep them?”

 

“No!” she replied immediately, with surprising force. Apparently she surprised herself as well.

 

“Sorry,” she said, more softly this time. “I didn’t mean to yell…”

 

“It’s fine. I wouldn’t really call that ‘yelling.’

 

Laska hung her head, looking rather dejected. I walked over to her, sitting down in the grass so I’d be eye level with her. She didn’t flinch, but she was looking rather nervous. Biting my lip, I realized I had forgotten about her previous life.

 

Perhaps if I played along with what she was doing? I looked around at the fireflies, waiting until one came near. Thankfully I managed to snatch it from the air, then opened my hand and let it crawl around before it flew off. She eyed me curiously, her mood improving as I caught and released another one.

 

“You’re very eager to be a good girl, aren’t you? I think you’re a good girl - a great girl - and I can safely say I love you already,” I said, looking her in the eye. “But that doesn’t mean you have to obey everything I say. You can tell me if you don’t like something, or you disagree. Even if it means you have to yell sometimes.”

 

Despite my intention to make her feel better, Laska appeared somewhat crestfallen again. Did I say the wrong thing?

 

“Really?” She asked, holding her paws together.

 

“Really.”

 

She seemed to weigh my words, then allowed herself a small smile.

 

“Go on, do whatever you want,” I said. She nodded slightly and began to chase the fireflies about again, dashing about the yard. Watching her for a long while, I felt an odd sensation. Though I wasn’t really accomplishing anything, though I wasn’t achieving anything, though I was just sitting here in the grass, I felt like I was doing something.

 

I did, however, make sure not to let her have total free reign. If she got too near the street I’d tell her to be careful or come back, but I got the feeling she had taken my words a bit too much to heart or was perhaps testing me already. Too clever for her own good.

 

Over on the other side of the lawn, she stumbled and fell onto her back. When she didn’t get up immediately I stood up in a start and walked quickly over to her. Sprawled out on her back, Laska was simply staring up into the sky, though her eyes shifted to me as I came into her vision.

 

“Having fun?”

 

“...Yeah,” she said, a tiny smile curling her lips.

 

I sat down next to her, looking up into the sky with her. I pointed to the stars that formed the big and little dipper. “Do you know what those are?”

 

“What what are?”

 

“See those stars?” I said as I indicated to specific ones that made up those two constellations. “If you draw lines between those stars in your mind, they’ll look like something.”

 

It took her some time, but she finally got it.

 

“They look like pots.”

 

“Yeah, that’s why they’re called that. I guess.” I didn’t really feel like explaining what a water dipper was.

 

“And over there,” I motioned, “Is Orion, and that’s Orion’s belt.” Unfortunately it was a bit harder to point that constellation out as it wasn’t quite as clear as the dippers were. I think she got it though, or maybe she was just humoring me.

 

“Do all the stars have names?” She asked after she claimed to have figured out Orion.

 

“Yeah, though some of them just have numbers and letters for names since there are so many.”

 

“How come? Are there really that many?

 

“Yes, there are. Hold your paw up in front of your face. How many stars do you think you can’t see right now?”

 

“I don’t know. How many?”

 

“More than I count to,” I said, laughing a bit.

 

“Why? Can you not count very high?”

 

“Well… I think I can. I mean there are more stars in the sky than I think most people could count to.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

I felt like this sort of exchange was going to happen quite often between us.

 

How long did we spend out there on the lawn that spring eve? I have no idea. Whenever I suggested that we go inside, Laska seemed to resist the idea. Eventually I had to drag her in, though it was more like I simply picked her up, explaining how it was late and we both needed to get to sleep. I also learned that when I made my voice firm she seemed to flinch, which caused me all sorts of grief once again. It’d only been a day and already she was beginning to master me rather than the other way around.

 

The furniture place wasn’t able to deliver until tomorrow, so I got another night with Laska in my arms. She tucked in towards my chest, drifting off to sleep as quickly as yesterday. It felt a bit different this time though; I can’t quite explain it. Admittedly the fluff on her arms and legs made her warm in my arms, and her ears wriggling occasionally against my chin made me smile every time I felt them. Closing my eyes and sighing, I gradually fell into a slumber as well. I vaguely recall that I dreamt of Laska and her future, but the details elude me.

 

--

 

The weeks bled into months, and before I knew it, the end of summer was near.

 

Getting Laska to sleep by herself proved to be a bigger challenge than I had ever thought possible. After spending two nights with me, it was difficult to get her into her own bed. No matter what I tried, it seemed to be a futile effort.

 

“But I’m lonely,” she’d say. “And scared…”

 

Then I’d just sigh and give in, her orange eyes lighting up with joy and a broad smile spreading on her face. At first she’d just crawl into bed as if afraid I was upset, but eventually she’d dash from the doorway and leap into bed. Sometimes we’d play-wrestle or some such, and she would laugh and smile the whole while before finally tuckering herself out.

 

Speaking of her laughter, I remember the first time I heard it, and how it made my heart leap. It was about a month after she’d been with me, and it was the dumbest of things. I’d stubbed my toe on a bed post, and mindful of her presence did what I could to avoid swearing up a storm. Apparently she thought it was the funniest thing she’d ever seen - what started as a snort turned into a chuckle, then a giggle, and finally a full-fledged laugh. Beside myself with what I was hearing, I froze for a moment, staring open-mouthed at the small cat roaring with laughter on the bed.

 

When her laughter had subsided, she suddenly gasped and looked at me as I continued to stare in amazement.

 

“Sorry for laughing at you…”

 

Flying onto the bed and giving her a light push down into a few pillows, which elicited another giggle from her, I tickled her ears relentlessly until she apologized again, laughing myself the entire time.

 

“Apology accepted,” I said, kissing her forehead.

 

From then on Laska’s mood seemed to improve even more. I didn’t know if it was because of me or her own resilience and good-nature, but I was happy nonetheless.

 

Gradually, I was able to shift her to being able to sleep on her own - for about half the week, anyways. Eventually I gave up trying to force her and decided she’d stop when she felt ready. Though I never admitted it to her, I slept better than I ever did before when she curled up in my arms. Going to sleep with her small frame against me made me feel like I had purpose; a reason to get to sleep so I could wake up the next day. I didn’t mind her at all, really, despite what I said.

 

--

 

Education proved to be far easier than I had thought. Her remarkable curiosity made teaching her things rather easy; not to mention her ability to grasp things quickly. I was able to teach her multiplication, division, and other basic math skills, and she stormed through picture books and into illustrated stories that were meant for kids several years older than her. I was so very proud of her, and also somewhat ashamed of myself. I never bothered much with education, letting whatever talents I had fester and rot away to nothingness. It probably wouldn’t take too many years until she had learned everything I could teach her.

 

Unfortunately her sharpness also worked against me sometimes. It wasn’t too long ago she started saying ‘no.’

 

“Laska, come inside,” I had said, calling her in from the backyard as it was getting late one night. She’d been running around in the backyard collecting various insects and spiders for who knows how long.

 

“No.”

 

Her sudden and terse refusal caught me off guard. It was one of those things I’d been expecting her to say at some point, but it still put me at a loss for words. How was I to respond?

 

“What do you mean ‘no’? It’s getting late, you need to get in.”

 

“No, I don’t wanna.”

 

Should I reason with her? Or just demand that she come in? I figured hesitation would prove fatal either way, and decided to appeal to her logic.

 

“Why not?” I asked.

 

“Because.”

 

Was she just testing me, or trying to push her boundaries?

 

“Fine,” I said, attempting to keep my voice even. I didn’t want to threaten or plead or try to bargain with her. So I just walked away, back into the house. I didn’t want to yell at her, and I was certain I would had I stayed.

 

I’m not really sure what happened right then, but hearing her say no brought back an awful lot of old emotions. Old feelings. Old thoughts. Ones I thought I’d forgotten. Who knows why; I sure didn’t. Slumped into a couch in the darkened living room, I leaned back and just thought. I shouldn’t be feeling like this, not when I had someone to take care of. Not when someone depended on me.

 

But was I someone that could be depended on?

 

That question weighed heavily on me, dragging me down into a quagmire of self-doubt. It was so easy, so comfortable, to hide away from everyone and do as I pleased. I probably wasn’t doing a very good job raising her anyways. Surely there are others that would adopt her and raise her far better than I could.

 

Right?

 

Thinking about it, I remembered Laska had been with several other families before we met. Did she laugh or smile with them? Maybe not, if she had been passed from home to home in that short time. So, presuming that I am not the world’s worst father, why was I having such difficulty with her saying no? Didn’t I say it was okay for her to disagree with me? I don’t think she disliked me, but did she love me? Was I simply overthinking what should have been a non-event?

 

Thankfully I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of the back door opening. My heart leapt a tiny bit, preparing itself for what was to come. It wasn’t quite what I expected, however. Though she attempted to be stealthy, I could see her shadow against the wall as she approached the living room. Laska hesitated for a while, then poked her head around the corner, barely revealing a single, reflective eye. When I met her stare, she winced and quickly pulled her head back, making kind of a light mewling noise.

 

A few moments later, she stepped out completely, her eyes fixed onto her foot-paws as she shuffled forward. “A-are you… mad?” She asked once she had drawn a bit closer.

 

What was I to say? Sitting in the dark, staring at her, I imagine I must’ve looked rather unfriendly or even intimidating. I thought about answering that I was fine, but I decided on an honest answer. My reasoning was that how I could I expect her to be open and honest if I wasn’t. “Yes, I am upset… though more with myself than you,” I said, leaning over to turn on a lamp to hopefully brighten the mood.

 

Laska stopped a short distance away from me, alternating between looking up at me and down at the floor. “Sorry…”

 

“For what?”

 

“For saying no.”

 

I sighed, attempting to fix my face into something that looked more amiable. I motioned with my arms for her to come over to me. When he ginger steps brought her close enough, I reached out to take hold of her paws lightly. “If you wanted to stay out, you should have just told me why.”

 

“I don’t know… but when you left you looked mad, but you didn’t yell at me…”

 

“Well, yelling at you would’ve just made both of us feel bad. Why did you come back in?”

 

“I didn’t want you to be mad at me,” she said, sounding on the verge of tears. I sighed again, letting go of her paws to scratch her head and ears.

 

“I can’t promise that I will never be mad at you, but I can promise that I won’t yell at you,” I said, finishing my internal thought with “or hit you.”

 

Laska smiled a bit, fidgeting with her clothing. “Can I go back outside?”

 

Not ready for another round of drama, I begrudgingly agreed, standing up to follow her out.

 

--

 

Since I had adopted Laska as my own, it’d been just the two of us for the few months we were together. She seemed to enjoy being outside, but I never let her roam too far. Though, as I found out, she had been quietly disobeying my limit on her range – and on her birthday no less.

 

I’d been planning a small affair with her favorite kind of cake, along with a large stuffed fish as a present. She seemed to always cling to the one I had given her when we first met whenever she slept by herself, so I figured it’d be a nice gift.

 

My plan was for a surprise celebration, so I needed to usher her out of the house in order to put up a few decorations.

 

“Don’t you want to go out to play?” I had asked her, walking into her room.

 

“No, I wanna stay in.” Laska didn’t look my way as she spoke, keeping her eyes glued to an illustrated book of constellations.

 

“Are you sure? It’s rather nice out. Maybe you’ll find something new?”

 

“Nah.”

 

Chewing my lip, I wondered what I could say to get her away without being too suspicious. She’d always bring me things she found outside, despite knowing I didn’t allow whatever she scrounged up inside the house. If I asked her to bring me something now, would she assume it meant that I wanted her to continue doing so in the future? The longer I stood here, the more curious she became about my presence since I wasn’t saying anything.

 

Her eyes met mine. Was it okay to betray a child’s trust like this?

 

“But I was hoping you could find a mantis for me,” I said, attempting to sound enthusiastic.

 

Laska’s ears wriggled energetically, and her tail swished back and forth as she eyed me. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. I’ve never seen one before. Do you think you could find one for me?”

 

“I don’t think I’ve seen one here…” she said, sitting up on her bed.

 

“I’m pretty sure they’re around here somewhere. Just need to look. I’d really appreciate it if you could show me one.” I leaned over a bit, resting my hands on my thighs in order to bring myself to eye level with her.

 

“Alright!” she exclaimed, darting up. Not even a moment of hesitation or suspicion. How long am I going to have to fake excitement whenever she brings me something now? I’d hoped the payoff would be worth it.

 

As she scurried towards the door, I yelled out for her to remain close by. “Okay!” she responded, dashing outside. Good, I had thought, now I can get things setup.

 

-

 

With everything in place, all that was left was for her to return. It hadn’t been too long, maybe thirty minutes, so I figured I would have to wait a while longer. I wondered if I should have gotten her a phone or something; kids have those at this age, didn’t they?

 

Time melted on and on. Laska’d been gone for nearly three hours and I was becoming concerned. Normally she’d never be out for more than an hour or two, so this was unusual. I decided to go out and look for her, leaving the doors unlocked with a note just inside in case she came back while I was searching. Wandering the neighborhood, I couldn’t find a trace of her. My concern elevated to worry.

 

Did someone abduct her? Did she run off somewhere and get lost? What had happened? Just how terrible of a person was I for letting a young child out like that? Thoughts of self-deprecation and worry mingled together, forming a tight knot in my gut as panic began to set in. I began to yell out her name, heedless of the self-conscious desire I had to remain quiet and not draw attention to myself.

 

Walking in an ever expanding radius around the house, I came across a small field I never quite realized was there. Well, it may have been more apt to call it several vacant housing lots, but wild grass and other plants had sprouted up. As I approached I heard young, girlish voices and laughter, getting my hopes up that I’d found her. Closer, I saw movement near the center and began to rush in. Laska was indeed there, along with another young girl. She had wolfish grey hair, ears, and tail, but human-like hands and feet.

 

“Ah!” Laska yelled in surprise when she heard my approach and turned around. “I… I can’t find any mantises,” she said quietly.

 

The wolf-girl near her tilted her head, looking at me. Her eyes were a light red, almost pinkish. I thought it odd, but then I realized I’d never seen someone that shared Laska’s eye color either. Perhaps rare breeds attracted one another.

 

“Who are you?” she inquired.

 

“I’m Laska’s…” I trailed off, suddenly unsure of how to answer. “Father. I’m Laska’s father.”

 

“Oh hi,” the wolf-girl said, flashing a toothy smile. “I’m Zoe.”

 

“Er, hello, Zoe,” I stumbled out, more focused on Laska now. My heart was still beating fast, my emotions a whirlwind.  

 

“Laska! What are you doing so far from home? I’ve been looking all over for you!” I nearly shouted as I ran over to her, kneeling down.

 

“I just… I…wanted to find… for you…but I did get a bit…I didn’t mean…”

 

Before she could finish I swept her up into a tight hug. “I was so worried about you!” I said as I nuzzled my face into her hair and ears. After a moment she attempted a response, but I couldn’t quite make it out. Realizing how tightly I was holding onto her, I relaxed my grip and let her back away some.

 

“I’m… sorry…” she said with a sniffle. I hugged her again, albeit gently this time. All the while Zoe watched  on, tilting her head side to side, her tail wagging.

 

At some point she jumped onto my arm. “I want hugs too!”

 

Who was this girl anyways? “Laska, who is she?” I asked her as I let go of her again.

 

“When I was looking here I met her… I come here often…”

 

“You’ve come out here before?”

 

Laska looked away, slinking back into the grass slightly. She was well aware that she’d been going farther than I told her she could. “Yeah…”

 

I wanted to be upset, but I realized I had only my own stupidity to blame. I shouldn’t have been letting her out on her own at this age anyways. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly through my nose several times to calm myself. There was no point in being frantic.

 

“That’s… fine,” I said, wanting to deal with the issue later. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” I gave Laska another hug, then let her go and stood up, shaking the wolf-girl off. “Anyways, go on with how you met this girl here.”

 

Laska glanced at Zoe, who was still close at my side, tail wagging. “She was already here when I started looking. She said she would help me look.”

 

“Is that so…?” Shifting my weight to one leg, I looked down at the girl. I thought that I should probably escort her back home, if possible. “Zoe, where do you live?”

 

“Over there,” she said, pointing to an apartment complex in the distance. Didn’t look too far away, but the wolf didn’t appear to be much older than Laska.

 

“Do your parents know you’re out here?”

 

At my question, her ears lied down and her tail ceased its wagging. I already knew what her answer was going to be. “No…” came her reply, and I let out the sigh I’d been holding in.

 

“Why are you out here, then?”

 

“ ‘Cause I don’t like being in there all day!” Her ears and tail shot out to match her exclamation. Laska seemed to be perking up as well since my focus was no longer on her.

 

“Well your parents are probably very worried, we should get you back home.”

 

“Hmph! I don’t think they know I’m gone… I snuck out when daddy said he was going to bury his bone in mommy’s backyard. It’s weird because we don’t have a backyard! Then they started laughing and went into their bedroom. What does that mean?”

 

I pursed my lips and looked down at the dirt, left completely wordless. What was I to say to that? Well, it would be best to save that explanation for a later day, I think. Or not at all, actually. Then I realized I’d need to explain such matters to Laska one day. My face drooped to a frown as I glanced at her. Later, later, I thought to myself. I needed to focus on the now.

 

“Well, you should go back anyways. Come on, Laska and I will walk with you, okay?” I said, skirting Zoe’s question.

 

Looking down at the two of them, they glanced at each other and smiled. At least she didn’t seem to care about her question being unanswered. Or she simply didn’t realize it.

 

While we walked to Zoe’s place, they chased one another about, giggling and laughing the entire time. Watching them, I got an idea. I’d hoped her parents would agree. Assuming we didn’t… bother them, anyways. Attempting to get the two of them towards the building was rather difficult. The analogy of herding cats seemed to fit quite well in this circumstance. Well, one cat and one wolf. I had to constantly call them back from wherever they eventually wandered off.

 

Approaching the building, I noticed a brown-furred wolf-woman and man were walking outside. Those must be the parents, I thought. The woman seemed to sniff the air, then her ears and face homed in on us. My feeling was indeed correct. She ran over to us, the man trailing shortly behind, worry clear on their faces.

 

Zoe took notice of her parents, running over to meet them part-way. Laska followed behind momentarily, but came to a stop at my side, then clung to my leg and cowered behind me as she eyed the older wolf woman warily. I laid a hand on her head, stroking her hair and ears.

 

“Zoe! Where did you go? We were worried sick!” The woman’s face seemed to shift between relief and anger. I imagined I didn’t look much different when I found Laska. It made me feel a bit better to know my reaction was probably normal.

 

“Sorry mom… I wanted to go outside but you and daddy were too busy burying bones in the backyard, but we don’t even have one!”

 

Her face turned bright red as she glanced up to me. I simply shrugged, raising an eyebrow at the same time. The man behind her seemed to laugh to himself, turning to avoid the woman’s glare when she snapped around  in reaction to his laughter.

 

“Ah, I’ll deal with you later…” the wolf woman said, looking from the man to me. The man that was with her kneeled down and called Zoe over, then whispered something in her ear, hugging her afterwards.  

 

The woman stepped forward a bit, clearing her throat before speaking. As she came a bit closer, Laska seemed to squeeze my leg more tightly. I stroked her ears gently, scratching behind them and rolling them between my fingers; she seemed to like it when I did that.

 

“I’m Lydia…” she hesitated, then paused completely as she realized Laska was cowering away from her.

 

“Ah, it’s a long story with her. And no problem. Laska kind of vanished on me as well,” I said, scratching at my cheek with my other hand, somewhat embarrassed and still angry at myself. “They apparently found each other in a grassy clearing back that way.” I motioned towards where we had come from, roughly halfway between my house and this apartment. Pausing for a moment to consider what to say next, I realized I’d not introduced myself to Lydia, so I gave her my name as well.

 

“Well, thank you again. We were terrified when Zoe wasn’t around…” Lydia said, turning towards her child and the man. “Oh! And that’s my husband, Steve.” At her words, he waved and said his hello. I waved back.

 

Letting slip a sigh as she turned around again to face me, her crimson eyes fixed onto mine, then dropped slightly. “I don’t know what came over her to just take off like that…”

 

“Kids like to do their own thing, I suppose, even if it scares us sometimes,” I said, scratching the back of my head.

 

During our conversation, Zoe broke off from her father, then snuck around the side of her mother and dashed the remaining distance to hide behind my other leg, whispering something to Laska.

 

“Sort of like that?” Lydia said, grinning.  

 

“Seems that way.”

 

With Zoe right beside her, the tension in Laska seemed to fade a bit as she stopped focusing so much on Lydia. The wolf-pup then grabbed hold of Laska’s paw, dragging her away from me towards a playground that was a short distance away. “Come on, come on,” she said. Wordlessly I gave Laska a light pat on the back. She looked up at me and smiled a little, then the two youths took off at full speed.

 

Lydia watched the two of them intently as well. “Peas in a pod.”

 

“Sure seems that way.”

 

Now that the kids were gone, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask. But, how to phrase things? I thought for a moment, and decided that the direct route would probably be ideal.

 

“Laska doesn’t have any friends… or maybe she has one now…”

 

Lydia looked at me in surprise, then confusion, expecting some sort of explanation.

 

“I… adopted her earlier this year,” I sighed out, meeting the wolf’s gaze. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but her ears and tail are kind of a ragged mess. Her mother… abused her badly. That’s also why she reacted so negatively to you – she kind of has a fear of older women now.”

 

She blinked a few times quickly, then stared at Laska as she played with her daughter.

 

“She went through a few homes before landing with me. So, we’re a family now. I’m kind of the only family she has, and she’s kind of the only family I have. What a great match, huh?” I smiled bitterly, letting a bit more sarcasm drip into my words than I had intended.

 

Lydia seemed to open her mouth slightly, struggling to find the words to say. “That’s… sad,” she said, her eyes tightening.

 

“Yeah… but, I’m trying to make happy memories to replace all those negative ones. It’s not as easy as I’d hoped though. I often find myself at a loss for what to do sometimes… I kind of jumped into this parenting thing feet-first.”

 

She snorted a bit at my answer, exposing her large canines. “It isn’t much easier for us either,” she said as her husband placed his hands on her shoulders from behind. He whispered something in her ear, then waved at me and started heading back inside. I nodded a farewell at him.

 

“And, today is Laska’s birthday.”

 

Lydia’s eyes lit up. “Oh yeah? Zoe turned six this past March. Congratulations to you and her. So they’re the same age huh? What school is she going to be enrolled at?”

 

“Hmm… Little Monsters Elementary.”

 

“Ah, that’s the same as Zoe then. Maybe they’ll be classmates?”

 

I grimaced a little before answering, looking at Laska then to the wolf-woman again. “Probably not. Because of her… issues, they’re going to place her in some kind of special class that has a male teacher.”

 

“Oh…” Lydia said, deflating some. “That’s too bad. Maybe when those wounds start to heal…”

 

I let out yet another sigh. I thought Laska was farther along on her road to recovery than I was – even the psychologist had been surprised to see how rapidly her mood improved. Hopefully she wouldn’t need to be in that class for long. Perhaps making a friend and having to deal with her mother would prove helpful?

 

“Yeah, I think she’s getting there. As odd as it sounds, I don’t think their encounter was entirely by chance…”

 

Lydia raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip. “Oh?”

 

“Fate or something? They’ve gotten along fairly well in the short time they’ve known each other, haven’t they? Which brings me to what I wanted to ask; would it be possible for Zoe to come over for Laska’s birthday? Otherwise it’s just the two of us.”

 

“That’s all? Sure!” She said, clapping her hands together.  “But, ah, we wouldn’t have any gift for her.”

 

“Oh, that’s fine. Just Zoe being there would be more than enough, I think. I spoil her enough anyways.”

 

A little wolfish grin appeared on her face. “Gotcha…”

 

“Zoe!” She yelled out, catching the attention of her daughter.

 

“Yes mom?”

 

“Come here a minute.”

 

“ ‘Kay…” Zoe said, hanging her head as she approached. Laska seemed unsure of what was going on, but tagged along with her new-found friend. Once the two of them got closer, Laska sort of hung back, shifting closer to me.

 

“Say Zoe, would you like to go to Laska’s home?”

 

As if she had spoken some kind of magic words, the little wolf’s attitude had turned entirely around. Her ears and tails stood tall, and her eyes sparkled with joy. “Really?! Yes!”

 

Laska seemed quite pleased with things as well, though still wary of Lydia, positioning herself so that I was between her and the wolf. “Yay~ We can play more now!”

 

“Well then. Before I leave Zoe in your care, can I get your phone number and address?” I nodded and we exchanged info. “What time do you think you’ll be bringing her back?”

 

“I don’t know – I don’t really have much planned. Kind of playing it by ear.”

 

“Alright,” she said, nodding and kneeling down to Zoe’s level. “Remember to behave yourself, okay?”

 

Zoe nodded her head fiercely, causing the tips of her ears to flop back and forth. “I will!”

 

Lydia rolled her ears, clearly not convinced by her daughter’s actions. “Try not to let her bother you too much.”

 

I chuckled a bit, then shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Alright you two! Let’s get going.”

 

“Have fun,” Lydia said, waving and smiling to me before she turned to head inside.

 

Zoe and Laska ran over to each other, then chased one another about in some kind of lazy orbit around me as I began to head back to the house. I think the entire time I walked back, I had grinned the entire time. Seeing Laska enjoying herself somehow made me feel better. Is this one of the joys of being a father, I wondered?

 

-

 

“Ah! You have a yard!” Zoe shouted as we left the main sidewalk and began walking up to the house. “I want a yard too…”

 

Telling Laska to hold on a minute, I beckoned Zoe over and whispered what was going on in her ear. Her excitement elevated even further, and I was worried she was going blurt everything to Laska right there – fortunately she managed to hold it in, though her tail was wagging so fast it was a blur. She then ran over to Laska and placed her hands over her eyes from behind.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“It’s a surprise,” I said. “Don’t worry, it’s a good surprise.”

 

“Ohhhh…”

 

Zoe guided Laska into the house while covering her eyes, following my lead into the living room. Once she was in the room, I gave the wolf a signal to drop her hands.

 

 “Happy Birthday Laska!” Zoe and I yelled in a cheer.

 

Laska was stunned. Glancing around the room I’d decorated with wide eyes, she blinked several times.  Her ears wriggled around, but her face was otherwise frozen in amazement.

 

“My birthday?”

 

“Yea! You get cake and presents and people are nice to you and other stuff!” Zoe exclaimed, throwing her arms up into the air.

 

“Why?”

 

Laska’s question seemed to stump the wolf. Now it was her turn to freeze and she thought about how to answer. I couldn’t help but laugh at Zoe’s display, shaking my head before answering Laska.

 

“Because you’re a year older now, and it’s something to be happy about and celebrate. Afterwards we can go eat whatever you want… but for now, this is for you,” I said, pulling down the sheet I had hung as a screen, revealing the cake and stuffed fish that lay concealed behind it.  

 

Laska dashed over, eyeing the cake and present with her paws gripping the edge of the table. “For me?”

 

“For you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

“Why?”

 

I half laughed, half sighed, and nearly responded with the same thing I said before. As I was about to speak, I decided to change my words.

 

“Because I love you, Laska.”

 

Her ears drooped a little, and she brought her paws up to cover her face. She turned to look at me, and I noticed her eyes seemed a little watery. Suddenly I worried – did I say something that upset her? Then she walked over to me, staring up at me. A few long, awkward moments passed as she fidgeted.

 

“You mean it?”

 

I gave her a warm smile, bending over and kneeling to reach her level. “Of course I do. I love you dearly.”

 

She continued to approach me slowly, stopping when she was just below me. Her orange eyes shone brightly, transfixing mine.

 

“I love you too, daddy.”

 

I…I was not prepared for that. Before I could even really think about her words, I felt tears streaming down my face. Those five words caused such a welling of emotion I’d never remembered feeling before. Was this happiness? I sniffled and hugged Laska tightly. Though her short paws couldn’t even begin to encompass my chest as she reciprocated the gesture, I’d never felt a warmth like this in many years - if ever.

 

Zoe apparently was feeling left out, and hugged Laska from behind. “I want hugs too!” she complained. Laughing some, I held Laska for a few more precious seconds, then stood and wiped away my tears.

 

“Alright! Let’s have some of this cake!”

 

Laska was still looking at me, smiling as brightly as I’d ever seen. I’ll never forget this moment for as long as I live.