Title:           WASTELAND! With Horses - Chapter 1
Author:          Writefag_Roulette
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/68Sx0dgK
First Edit:      Sunday 29th of May 2016 01:37:30 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Sunday 29th of May 2016 01:45:16 PM CDT

PARAGRAPH ONE:
Home. An infinity away and an eternity in the past. A city that no longer exists.
Burnt into nothing by the solar hellstorm. You'd left Trottingham to visit a little
backwater village called Ponyville, to talk to one Miss Rarity about managing a new
branch of your emerging jewelry store franchise. Your mother had lived with you; she
had fallen ill and needed the company. But you'd only planned to be gone for a day or
two, so it didn't seem like it would be a problem. You said your goodbye, she said hers.
No words of wisdom. No catchy phrases. No tidbits of forbidden knowledge. You'd be
back on the coming Wednesday; there was no need for anything so dramatic...
 
>"Private Ruby?"
>you snap out of your reverie and wipe the stupid look off of your face for Captain Armor
>"I said, 'Is Echo Squad all present or accounted for?'"
>you glance at the small team you've been put in charge of
>there's Aryanne, with the white coat and the yellow mane and the ridiculous accent
>there's Red, whose palette matches yours and whose mannerisms match those of a savage
>and there's Sketchy, the wimpy little bald pony who - against all odds - came out of basic training ranked fourth in the company
>all present
>you give an exaggerated salute and bark out in the sweetest little voice you can put on:
"Sir, yes sir!"
>your affectation has succeeded in drawing a trickle of giggles from your squadmates
>"Good to know, Private. Today's an important day. It's the day we commission our first expeditionary team of Friendship Ranger recruits. I just want to make sure its leader is up to the task before I unleash you ladies upon the world."
>you say nothing and move not a muscle, emulating a perfect example of military bearing
>"As commanding officer of Ranger Center Ponyville, I hereby commission the servicemembers gathered before me today as Echo Squad."
>try as you might, you can't keep a big, goofy grin from spreading across your face
>Shining Armor frowns
>"Remember you can always come back to Ponyville to regroup, and if you catch one of the Guardsman-recruit squads, you can always count on them for help."
>"Be careful out there, Rangers. It's a cruel world now."
~"It always was a cruel world, sir!"
>you turn and see that it was Red who made the outburst
>"I… guess so, Private Red."
>Shining Armor turns away and offers one last little bit of Guardsman wisdom before cantering off
>"Go forth and do great things, ladies."
>your team breaks formation and gathers around you, all smiling in some way, ranging from a faint ghost of a grin on Aryanne's face to a giant toothy display on Sketchy's, with Red somewhere in between
/"Vat are your orders, kamerad?"
>Aryanne's question gives you a moment's pause
>you look around Ponyville to see if there's anything you want to do before you set out
>in the distance you see Rarity's little sister crying to herself under a dry maple tree
>you spy the Golden Oaks library, where you and the squad could pick up some new skills that might be useful
>you see the path to Sweet Apple Acres, where it might be prudent to pick up some food for the journey
>and then you see the road out of Ponyville and into the cruel, cruel wasteland
 
>you glance at the crying filly
>and you look at your crew
>and you look at Sketchy, who didn't seem to learn anything at all in basic training
>and you look at the library
"Let's head to the library. It'd probably be a good idea to learn a little bit about what we've gotta do."
~"Oh, come on! We're literally fresh out of training and the first thing you wanna do is go read books?"
"It's called preparation, my dear Red. Even a pirate who already knows everything like yourself could benefit from it. Besides, think about us poor uneducated ponies who don't know as much as you do; we could really use the reading!"
>Red grumbles and shuts up
>Aryanne gives a great, big, robotic salute in your direction
/"I obey your orders, Furhrer!"
>Sketchy gives her input as well
_"I-I'm okay with doing a little reading before we head out…"
>three against one
>not that a military unit is supposed to be a damn democracy anyway
"To the library, mares. I, for one, could use a little touch up on some weapons skills."
>the team makes its way to the library in this manner in a little under five minutes
>goodness, Ponyville is such a small town
>not at all like Trottingham
>you hold the door for your squadmates and let them enter first
>you see that little crying filly again, this time looking right at you
>when she realizes you know she sees you, she averts her gaze and resumes moping to the ground
>aw
>you tear your eyes away from her and go inside
>it's totally devoid of pony life
>no patrons reading books
>no a librarians or curators to take care of the place
~"Wooooow, look at all the ponies 'expanding their knowledge', Rube."
"More for us."
>Red growls and paces up and down the aisles in search of a title she might like
>Hmmm.
>What to learn?
 
>your eyes happen upon a title of exactly the sort you needed
>Mastery of the Clip Pistol
>you look at the pistol in its holster on your foreleg
"Perfect"
>you grab the book and make your way over to a big, plush, purple rug near the middle of the library
>you lie down and begin reading
>soon Aryanne finds the rug as well, and she lies down to read a book titled Demolition Mare: The Comprehensive Guide to TNT, Grenades, and Plastic Explosives
>after a few minutes more, Red too spots your rug
>for a moment she stands before it grumbling, before joining your little reading party
>her book: Assault Rifles and You: Why BRRRRT is Better
>Sketchy shows up; she found another copy of the book you're reading
>and also another copy of the book Red is reading
>and also two others:
>The Thunderdome: How Chairs, Clubs, and Crowbars Can Save Your Ass in a Brawl
>and The Sexy Medic: White Jackets and Little Hats With Hearts
>hm
>hopefully she's a fast reader
>after a while of reading, you hear Red's voice sound off
~"Like this, Sketch"
>with her hooves on Sketchy's, Red fires a round from Sketchy's pistol into a window on the other side of the library
>Aryanne jumps, her mane all a-bristle
>unlike you, you just sort of flinched really hard into the air for a second and your mane got a little frizzy
"Red, what the hell are you doing?!"
~"My squadmate needed my guidance and expertise."
"Red, we don't shoot out the windows of innocent libraries!"
~"Why not? It's just glass. Hey! You're a pretty terrible shot! You want some help too?"
>the front door flies open, and Shining Armor comes galloping in, followed by Twilight Sparkle
>"Why is there shooting in the library, Private Ruby? What's the problem? Is it changelings?"
"N-no, sir! Red was… j-just helping her squadmate learn to shoot!"
>you put on your trademark big, sweet smile
>aw yeah, that oughtta do it
>Captain Armor looks at you like you're retarded and scratches his chin
>"By shooting out the window?"
"Yes, sir!"
>"Yeah, well, let your mares practice shooting somewhere else. We're converting this old library into our new Ranger Center."
~"Why here, Cap?"
>"Private Sparkle here made a very strong case for making our headquarters where all the town's knowledge is centralized at."
~"You mean you're picking this place because your little sister likes books."
>Captain Armor's jeronimies are thoroughly flustered at this
>"A-am not!"
>Twilight jumps in and makes up some very convincing bullshit on the spot
>"In addition to housing all the books, the Golden Oaks Library is easily the best fortified building in town. True to its name, this place is a big strong oak tree. In fact, it's an oak tree of the golden variety. In the event of a sudden incursion of atta-"
~"Okay we get it gottagobye."
>Red speedwalks away as fast as she can
>you give one last adorable smile to mask the fear in your eyes, and you dash after her, motioning for Aryanne and Sketchy to follow
>you follow her outside and feel a little pissed off
"Red! That's our commanding officer! You have to be more respectful!"
~"Pfft. Commanding officer? Please. You know I was a captain! A real captain too, the 'commanding officer' of a respectable ship!"
_"I-I thought you said you were a pirate…"
/"Ja, a degenerate partisan who vould be summarily executed in Germaney."
~"Shut the fuck up! Piracy is a perfectly respectable profession!"
"No Red, it's international terrorism."
~"Oh, whatever! I don't have to justify myself to you lubbers!"
>whatever indeed
>in spite of the interruption, you do indeed feel as though you could wield your pistol with more confidence should you need to
>now, is there anything else that needs doing?
>some apples would probably be a good thing to get though
>or maybe you could just set out and plan on living off of whatever vegetation you can find since you are, after all, horses
>but then maybe it would be wise to recruit one of the reservists into an IA position in your team
>and then- awwww!
>Rarity's little sister is still crying over there
>she looks so sad