- >Day Bizarro
- >Looming overhead is a red sky, mixed in with green clouds.
- >Outside, the birds are not chirping.
- >They are growling.
- >And they have molars.
- >Why do they have molars.
- >That's fuckin' terrifying.
- >SunflowerSheepish is “singing” to them.
- >And behind her are the Ponytones but, instead of a soothing melody...
- >Blast beats.
- >“CRUSH CUNTS WITH OUR TEEEEEEETH”
- >Sweeping guitars.
- >“PONIES, WE FEAST ON MEAAAAAT”
- >Ah yes, day brutal death metal in Equestria.
- >For too long you had wondered what was with Fluttershy, well, of course you did. She has tried to molest you on several occasions.
- >But you never expected this... bizarreness to occur.
- >The fucking trees grow leaves first now.
- >A flash of light and a popping sound approaches your senses.
- >“Oh, it's just wonderful! Truly marvelous!”
- >Indeed, this was the doing of Dickswo- Discord.
- >Of course it was.
- “So, what caused you to do this?”
- >The amalgamation of creatures abrasively twists towards you, appalled at your assumption.
- >“Me? What ever caused you to think /that/?”
- >You fold your arms.
- “Well, it's not like you haven't accidentally trapped the Princesses in a fucking tree or caused candy floss clouds to rain chocolate milk. Of course not.”
- >His suddenly-elongated eyelashes flutter at you innocently.
- >“Anon, I honestly had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't dare interfere with those birds' dental situations, that's unsanitary.”
- >Clean freak.
- “So, who was it?”
- >A shrug.
- >Great.
- “Well, I'd best get on with the day then. I still have work to go to.”
- >“Oh, I wouldn't bother if I were you.”
- >You stop in your tracks.
- >Raise an eyebrow at the draconequus.
- >“I saw Pinko Pang or whatever her name is throwing sticks at a young dragon with a gryphon. Is she new in town?”
- >Well, no work for you then.
- “I... I don't think so.”
- >Discord smiles.
- >“Excellent. Obviously, Sugarcube Corner is, as of now, closed until further notice. Enjoy your day off!”
- >With a puff of smoke, Discord leaves you in your hall, pondering what the fuck is going on.
- >You take a step outside, figuring there's nothing else better to do but go and see Applejack.
- >If anyone knew what was going on it would be Hat Horse.
- >Fluttershy stands at your door.
- >You expect the worst, but,
- >“GOOD MORNING!”
- >She yells at you, but with a smile on her face.
- >Your legs baulk slightly.
- >Fearing the worst, you get ready to goddamn peg it.
- >She then leaps upon you, and tries to-
- >Cuddle with you.
- >Crawling away from Jaundiced Low Volume, you wonder why she wasn't forcing her gross halitosis tongue down your throat.
- >“But I wanted a hug!”
- >The rest of the Ponytones turn to you and start to glare.
- >One of them starts to open their mouth slowly.
- >Fuuuuuck that noise!
- >Covering your ears you fuckin' bolt in any direction that isn't where they are.
- >Wails of metal violate your eardrums.
- >So now it's just audible harassment, not sexual.
- >The terrible screams from the assortment of pones causes you to call for help.
- “APPLEJAAACK!”
- >From a street corner, the orange pony pops out.
- >No
- >Fucking
- >Hat
- “WHAT IN THE EVER-LIVING FUCK IS GOING ON!”
- >The gryphon Discord mentioned earlier laughs at you, and throws a stick off your unsuspecting head.
- “FUUUUCK YOU AAAAALL, WHERE'S THE PRETTY PURPLE PRINCESS”
- >Your fatigued legs are ready to just fall off your torso and keep going by themselves to an owner that wouldn't only use them in dire situations like this.
- >Many mares and stallions turn to you and begin chasing you, tongues out the side as if they're dogs.
- >“Where ya goin'?!”
- >“Who ya visitin'?!”
- >“Is there gonna be a surprise?!”
- >And all at once now,
- >“SURPRIIIISE!”
- >If your ears weren't dead before, you're going to need 3 hearing aids for each now.
- “GET AWAY FROM ME!”
- >Sliding around the corner you spot the treehouse.
- >Finally!
- >You hoof it to the door and slam it with a crash behind you.
- “Twilight! Do something!!”
- >She's sitting there, with papers in magic-hand.
- >Whispering to herself, you make out some jargon.
- >“If I reverse the matrices of 1-5-6, then I can trace the logistic scan back to...”
- “Hello?! I exist, you know!”
- >“And then I can carry the error and still get a solution for the mystic charge...”
- >You stomp your foot on the ground.
- >“So that I can- ANON! Hello!”
- >She seems excited to see you.
- >Then she hurls you into a bookshelf.
- >...Your nose hurts.
- >“Get me a book on M-theory, stat!”
- >Ponies can't into physics.
- >Things are REAL fucked now.
- >Slapping your hands between books rapidly, you see the first big M and just fuckin' lob the thing at her.
- >“Gre- OOF”
- “Where's Spike? Doesn't he do this sort of stu- Oh yeah, he's getting pummeled by wood.”
- >She tilts her head in a “what the fuck” sort of manner, raises a hoof but then stops.
- >Twilight doesn't dare question these things anymore.
- >She will question you though.
- >“What issues have you been experiencing though?”
- “Oh, well, Discord came to my house, Fluttershy only wanted cuddles instead of cock, the Ponytones growled at me, a gryphon threw a stick at me, and dog-pones followed me here. Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
- >She asks you to repeat one.
- >You know which one.
- “Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
- >“No, not that. Second one.”
- >...
- “Fluttershy only wanted cuddles. Not cock.”
- >She scratches her head.
- >“Even with all the other stuff, don't you /want/ her to curb her enthusiasm for the human... anatomy?”
- >Inside, you wonder.
- >Is all this worth it for Fluttershy to stop trying to rape you?
- >You don't let on though.
- “That doesn't matter, what about everybody else?”
- >She giggles.
- >“All I've had is Spike running off doing some odd jumps. Nobody's having much problems but you. Look around.”
- >She opens a curtain.
- >“Everypony is having a good time.”
- “Then what were you doing when I came in?”
- >She knocks her head, as though she had made a critical error.
- >“I was trying to come up with an equation to tell us how this happened.”
- >Of course she was. [spoiler]fuckin nerd[/spoiler]
- >She grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down something on it.
- “Why does it matter to you if it doesn't affect you?”
- >“I like to know the science behind it.”
- >Sigh.
- “Can you change it back? If I so wanted to?”
- >Abruptly, Fluttershy walks in.
- >“Twilight! Can I bo- oh.”
- >She gives a sneer in your direction.
- >Doesn't acknowledge you after that.
- >“Borrow a book on how to get rid of pests?”
- >This truly is bizarre.
- “Fluttershy, what was with you back there?”
- >Not even a batted eyelid.
- >Not even a suggestive wink.
- >Not even a sly glance.
- >Suddenly, you're not sure what's worse.
- >A world where nobody would pay attention to you unless you had to make the effort...
- >Or a world with an overaffectionate Fluttershy.
- >The door shuts behind her, carrying with her the air of sad.
- >“Yes.”
- >You turn to her.
- “Huh?”
- >“You asked if I can change it back. Yes.”
- >She puzzles at you, saying nothing for a few seconds.
- >“You actually miss it.”
- >Throwing up your hands, you ask what.
- >“The guesses at your... interests. The hiding in the shower til you come in.”
- >Your face becomes flushed.
- >“And most of all, her.”
- >And that's done it.
- “No! Of course I don't! That's preposterous.”
- >Things take a turn for the Darth Vader.
- >“Look deep within you, Anon! You know it to be true!”
- >Uncontrollably, you have to yell one thing.
- “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
- >All is silent in the treehouse.
- >“...What was that for?”
- >Shit.
- >No Star Wars in Equestria.
- “N-nothin'.”
- >A funny face, Twilight presents to you.
- [spoiler]>We Yoda now.[/spoiler]
- >“Well, I'm just gonna go ahead and change it back.”
- >Fuck's sake, she's playing the devil in this scenario.
- “No, don't.”
- >A shit-eating grin creeps onto her lips.
- >“So you want to be stuck in this weird world?”
- “No! But-”
- >“So you want to be with your beloved Fluttershy?!”
- “Ye-NO! Just-”
- >“Aha! You do!”
- >Stretching out a hand, you try to scream “NO!”
- >But before you can, her horn flashes purple.
- >A titanic export of concentrated sounds of an entire universe hits you all at once, and without warning knocks you out.
- >Night Bizarro
- >Late owls toot, and you hear a shower.
- >Your clock reads 4am.
- >Fuck, why.
- >Who's even in your house to shower anyway?
- >You get out of bed and sluggishly make your way into the bathroom.
- >Ripping open the shower curtains carelessly, a yellow shape appears.
- >“U-um...”
- >You're back home.
- >Through the window, you swear you see that pesky Twilight giving you a smirk.
- >But, you know you're thankful anyway.
- >Stripping off your pyjama bottoms, you hop in the shower.
- >Spend until morning
- >Fucking Fluttershy.

