Nothing to see here, Chris Hansen

>Day 'It's not pedophilia when you're the same age so fuck off Chris Hansen' in Equestria...

>You have met everyone in Ponyville by now.

>However, you have fucked none.

>Like all healthy kids going through puberty, between Call of Duty, dubstep, and weed, it's a top priority.

>You want your first time to be with someone whose first time it is for them as well.

>Happy, consensual, virginity-taking from the both of you sex is your fetish, after all.

>All the mares who actually take you seriously have had their cherry popped by now.

>Pinkie Pie fucked with Braeburn, Vinyl Scratch was blown in by Neon Lights, and Fluttershy?

>Man, who hasn't dipped their fingers in that already?

>Ergo, you have to aim for someone younger.

>The Cutie Mark Crusaders, specifically.

>Applebloom likes Snails, however, and Sweetie Belle?

>Well, when you considered her, some guy who looked like J.C. Denton, the main character of that robotic Call of Duty rip-off(Everyone knows CoD was the first game. Obviously.), threatened to make you wish you were dead if you laid a finger on her.

>You ignored him, because he seemed like just a parasite.

>Besides, you like Scootaloo better. Orange IS your favorite color after all, and you like pegasi.

 

>You knock on the door of the filly's house.

>The door opens.

>"How can I help you?"

>Jesus Christ, her dad is a red and black Alicorn?!

>Given that you're 12, you think this is cool somehow.

"I'm here to see Scootaloo. #YOLO"

>"Did you just say YOLO?"

"Yep!"

>"Well since I'm an overly forgiving Gary Stu like a certain FO:E protagonist, I forgive you. Come in!"

"Okay, er..."

>"Meteor Crusher."

"Got it, Mr. Crusher."

 

"And that's how I came to Equestria!"

>Due to how much of a Gary Stu he is, you found yourself unable to resist telling him your story.

>"Sweet. Now here's how I became an Alic-"

>The door opened.

>"I'm home!"

>Wait, is that...

>"Hey, Scootaloo! You know Scootaloo, right xX420XxBL4Z317FG7xX420Xx?"

>You used your gamertag as your new name.

>Mommy always told you not to tell strangers your name.

>"Blazer?!"

>Most of them called you Blazer instead, much to your disdain.

"Uh...Hi."

 

>"What are you doing in my house?"

"Just talking to Mr. Crusher."

>"Dad!"

>You've figured it was the case, but this confirms it. Scootaloo isn't an orphan.

>Suck on THAT, Scootabuse writers!

>Ahem. Anyway.

>"Isn't he your friend?"

>"Yeah, but..."

>"So shouldn't you be happy to see him?"

>She sighs.

>"Hi, Blazer..."

"Hey, Scootaloo!"

>Given that your hormones are causing a riot, immediately you get a mental picture of ramming it up Scootaloo.

>Down, Bill Gates, DOWN!

>That's what you've named your penis, FYI.

"So...How was school?"

>You ask this while crossing your legs, hiding your pathetic erection.

>"Weren't you there?"

"No. I was...away. Smoking weed. And listening to dubstep."

>"That's not very good attendance. And that's not healthy. Although dubstep is awesome."

>Your respect for this stallion who was lying when he said he was a Gary Stu grows. I mean liking dubstep TOTALLY doesn't make you unlikable.

"Anyway, Scootaloo, wanna play something like Call of Duty?"

>"Not right now, sorry."

"Oh, okay. Should I go, then?"

>"No, you can stay!"

>Huh, things seem to be looking up.

>You decide to be optimistic and immediately regret your decision.

>"Scootaloo, dear! How was your da-WHO'S THIS SCUM?!"

 

"I...I...#YOLO?"

>"Honey, wait! This is Scootaloo's friend, xX420X-OW!"

>Some blood comes from his mouth, which he cradles.

>"He's Blazer. A friend."

>"What did I say about being friends with MALES?!"

>Jesus fuck, her mom is a feminist?

>"But he's different like dad!"

>"No, he's not! I wasn't instantly attracted to him in a way that surpasses my beliefs!"

>Man, Meteor Crusher is sooo cool and this proves it. All those who call him a Mary Sue are definitely jelly and in denial. Totally.

>"Uh, honey? Blazer is actually a good guy."

>"Oh, well if YOU say so..."

>She gets a smile on her face and walks to you.

>"Hi, I'm Hysterical Damsel!"

"I'm...Let's go with Blazer."

>"Alright, Blazer! You have fun with Scootaloo, now!"

>She gives you another smile before trotting away.

"So..."

>"So."

>"Say, how about you two have some fun together?"

"Works for me."

>"Me, too."

 

"Woohoo! House wins again!"

>The two of you are playing Blackjack.

>By now, you've taken all her chips.

>"I have nothing to pay with, though!"

"Then I get to boot you out."

>She looks at you with big eyes, before sniffing.

>"You...you wouldn't kick ME out, would you?"

>Oh god you can't say yes to that face.

"Well, maybe I can arrange a deal..."

>You say this while sliding some chips to her.

>"Yay!"

>Wait. Were those crocodile tears?

>Sneaky, sneaky.

>"Although, I don't feel like playing Blackjack anymore."

"Why not?"

>"Because I think you rigged the deck."

>Not that you'll ever admit it.

"You're just a poor loser. So what now?"

>She looks at the time.

>"I'm going to have dinner soon, so..."

"Alright, I understand."

>"You want to eat with me?"

>saywutagain.jpg

"Uh...Sure?"

>You're getting sick of microwaved burritos, so this is quite a treat for you.

 

"And then I said, 'You just don't have swag! #YOLO'

>Everybody laughs, only to be polite.

>Not that you realize this, of course.

>"Good one, Blazer!"

>"Yes, what Meteor said!"

>"Uh, yeah. What mom and dad said."

"Thanks, I'll be here all week."

>A part of them dies inside.

>"Anyway, it's getting late. You should get home before your parents get worried."

"Thanks for the heads-up, Mrs. Damsel, but I live alone."

>Meteor Crusher nearly spits out his coffee.

>"You? Alone?!"

>You nod in response to this.

"I'm the only human here, remember?"

 

>They all seem a tad shocked.

>"Why, I...I never knew..."

"It's fine, Mr. Crusher."

>"How have you survived so long?"

"Hey, I can take care of myself! Well, I had to learn to..."

>Scootaloo remains speechless, before clearing her throat.

>"Uh, mom? Dad? Can I talk to Blazer real quick? Alone?"

>'Sure, dear."

>Scootaloo gets off her chair and beckons you to follow, and you do so.

 

"What's up, Scoots?"

>"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

>"If I didn't invite you here, you wouldn't have to tell them that."

"I-it's fine."

>Your facade begins to slowly break.

"Although, I have to admit something. I kinda miss my mom and dad at times."

>"Huh?"

"It's been so long. I wonder if they still remember me..."

 

>"I'm so sorry, Blazer."

>She scoots a little closer to you.

"A-again, it's...it's fine."

>No, shit, not here...

>She scoots even further to you until she's right next to you.

>She then throws her forelegs around your waist, trying her best to hug you.

>This pushes you over the edge, as you hug her back, sobbing.

"I'll never see them again...Nobody will ever love me again..."

>"But Blazer, we all love you!"

"As friends, but I want family back!'

>"Couldn't you marry in the future and start a new family?"

"But nobody loves me that way!"

>"No, that's wrong."

"And how do you know?!"

>She takes a deep breath.

>"Because I do, okay?!"

 

"I...I...what?"

>For once, you're speechless.

>She pulls away from you.

>"I'm sorry if I creeped you out."

"Why would I be?"

>"Because you probably don't think of me like that."

"Scootaloo, I...#YOLO"

>If it weren't obvious you say '#YOLO' when you're nervous or excited.

"I do, actually."

>She looks up, stunned.

>"Y...you really mean it?"

"I do."

>Her eyes water up, before she pulls you in to kiss you.

 

Because I suck at make-out scenes I'm skipping to the good part.

 

>The two of you make your way to her room.

"You sure you want to do this?"

>"Yeah."

>You both lie down on the bed.

"Uh, I don't know what I'm doing."

>"I'll tell you what to do. Here."

>She guides your hand to below her wing joint.

>You get the hint and start rubbing it, eliciting a soft squeal from her.

"Like this?"

>"Yeah, just li-EEP!...like that..."

>You continue to stimulate it, as you guide your other hand down to her nethers.

>You slowly rub her young, virgin marehood, getting her to shudder in pleasure.

>"B-b-b-blazer, please..."

"Huh?"

>Just stick it in me!"

>Damn, she doesn't beat around the bush.

"But which hand?"

>"The wi-AH! The win-"

>She can't finish her sentence, but you get the point.

>You stop rubbing her wing joint to unzip your pants, revealing your pathetic cock.

>Then again, she's young, so maybe she won't judge?

>She looks down, and snickers.

>There goes your self esteem. Your libido, on the other hand...

>You flip her to the bottom so instead of side-to-side, you're on top.

>"Hey, what are you..."

>You stop fingering her to slowly insert your dick.

 

>Her breath catches, as you meet resistance not far in.

>First time for both of you? Check.

>Happy sex? Check.

>Yep, this is your fetish.

>You pull back, before pushing in, breaking it.

>She cries out a little in surprise.

>You look down, and OH GOD IS THAT BLOOD

"Scootaloo, you okay?"

>"Yeah, I'm fine.'

>She says this between breaths.

>You hold her hoof with one hand as you go all the way in.

>After your entire shaft is inside, you pull back before thrusting, starting the pattern of pulling and thrusting.

>You redirect a hand to her wing joint, caressing it again.

>Once more, she's just about set off right then.

>You continue to rub as you slowly fuck her.

 

>However, you feel it coming already.

>Fuck, virgin sensitivity is biting you on the ass.

"Scootaloo, I'm about to #YOLO"

>"W-what?"

"I'm about to c#YOLO"

>"You're what?!"

"I said I-"

>SPLOOGE. You blow inside her, emptying your balls.

>As soon as you cum, her own fluids mix with yours as she squeals into a pillow.

 

>You collapse next to Scootaloo, after pulling out.

"That was great..."

>She nods, panting.

>"I really meant it when I said I loved you."

"And I mean it when I say I love you too."

>She smiles, kissing you on the cheek before shutting her eyes.

>Soon enough, she's out like a light.

>You smile back, before shutting yours as well.

>You wake up to Hysterical Damsel about to wreck your shit for fucking her daughter.

 

THE END