Overpony -1-

"Is it alive?"

"Oh my, just what IS that thing?"

"Hehe it looks pokey!"

>You wake up to the sound of feminine voices around you.

>You open your eyes, your helmet still covering your head.

>BY THE VOID THE LIGHT AND SUNSHINE, FUCK!

"Oh, um, girls? I think it's awake."

>Bringing your mighty gauntlets to the ground, you push yourself to a sitting position.

>The sound of birds singing assaults your ears.

>The sweet aroma of flowers fill your nostrils.

>A gentle breeze brought the leaves of the trees and the grass to a gentle sway.

>The land around you was quite beautiful, untouched by cruelty.

>It desperately needed a good purging.

"HIMYNAMEISPINKIEPIEANDIVENEVERSEENYOUBEFOREWHATSYOURNAME?!?!"

>A small pink horse with a bubbly mane smelling of sugar hops up and down in front of you.

>The ecstatic grin on its lively face causes you to swat at it to get it away from you.

>Your feeble attempts to slap it away are in vain as it jumps onto your arm.

>The thing stares at you with enormous eyes.

"Oh oh oh! We need to throw you a PARTY! A WELCOME PARTY! Oh, I'll invite everyp0ny! OHMYGOSHTHISISGOINGTOBESOGREAT!"

>Oh no, you will have no cheerful partying.

>You try to shake the small horse off your metal-clad arm but it clings to you tightly.

>The fucker is giggling and thinks it's a game.

>NO FUN ALLOWED!

>Having none of this, you raise your other arm with a clenched fist ready to punch a hole clean through the thing's head.

>Your swing is brought to a halt as you're enveloped in a purple light.

>An obnoxiously sparkly purple light.

>What kind of gay fairy magic was this?!

>The pink pony, having since released your arm, is now bouncing about on the ground laughing.

>Under no means is joyous laughter acceptable unless it stems from slaughter.

>After all, you can't spell slaughter without laughter.

>A set of ponies is brought into view while you're suspended in the filthy candy magic.

>The purple one steps forth, its horn showing the same candy coating that was holding you aloft.

>A unicorn of sorts?

>Ah, such fond memories of killing off what you thought were the last of them.

>Looks like you still have to finish the job.

"Hi there, um, whatever you are. I'm Twilight Sparkle and I wo-"

>You cut her off by bringing a hand to your face.

>Its name was just as annoyingly adorable as itself.

"Oh Twilight I think you're scaring him!"

>You lower your gauntlet to see a flying yellow pony fluttering about in front of you with a pink mane.

"You poor thing, out here all alone..."

>It starts stroking your shoulder plate with its hoof.

"I bet you're just scared is all. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you."

>You bring up a fist to punch it as you wanted to do so to the pink one, but then the pegasus flicks its mane from its face.

>The horse glares at you with authoritative malice.

>It can't possibly think...

>It continues its stare with intensity.

>The little p0ny actually thinks this will keep you in line?

>This was ridiculous, you weren't about to let such a creature hold dominion over your actions.

"Uh, Fluttershy dear, I don't think getting so close to that thing is the best of ideas."

>The white one was correct, you were going to rip this thing's wings off.

>You're brought away from the yellow pegasus.

>This levitation was unacceptable.

>Being held helplessly in the air is not favorable.

>Perhaps it is best not to try to bring death to these creatures as quickly as you would like, as they are capable of such powerful magic.

>The purple one speaks again.

"Can you understand us?"

>You decide to play along for now and nod.

>They all seem surprised by your expression, having learned of your intelligence.

"Can you talk?"

>You glare at the creature.

>Yes, you could talk.

>No, you did not want to.

>In your defiant silence, the blue pegasus flies over to you and attempts to gaze into the darkness of your helm.

>Its hair is colored like a damn rainbow.

>Whatever realm you found yourself in, it was one of pure torment.

>Not the good kind.

"Huh, guess the big oaf can't speak. I don't even see a mouth on it."

>The yellow one flutters over beside the blue one.

"I still think he's just scared is all. Twilight, um, maybe you should set him down? At least for a little bit, that is if you don't mind..."

"I don't know Fluttershy, he did try to attack Pinkie and—wait, how do you know it's male?"

>A blush comes to the yellow ponies cheeks.

"Um, well, I... uh..."

>The orange one with a hat speaks.

"Well Twi, Ah reckon it has somethin' ta do with how he ain't exactly lackin' between the legs."

>This time, all of them blush as they notice the codpiece of your armor.

>"Oh. Um, yeah, I suppose you're right. Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to set him down. I'm sure he knows we're friendly by now."

>The foul sparkly aura disappears from you as you're set back down on the ground.

"So, what do you girls think we should do with him? Whatever he is, he's obviously not from around here."

"I don't know about the rest of you, but that metal clothing of his is just filthy! I think we should give him a bath before we even consider anything else! I mean, just LOOK at the grime on hi-"

>The orange one stuffs a hoof in her muzzle to silence her rambling.

"Ah reckon we oughta bring this 'ere big fella to the princess. Ifn anyp0ny knows what ta do wit him, you bet yer sweet apples it'd be her."

>That pony's accent is like razorblades to your ears.

>But a princess? Being brought to royalty you haven't either killed or deflowered yet?

>This is favorable.

"You're quite right AJ, we should really bring him to see the princess. I'll write her a letter as soon as... oh. What will we do with him in the meantime?"

>The yellow pegasus floats over to the unicorn.

"Oh Twilight, I can look after him for tonight. Rarity is right, he could use a bath. Oh! I bet he's hungry too."

>Twilight has quite the worried expression.

"I dunno Fluttershy, he could still be pretty dangerous. I don't think that's such a good idea..."

"Oh Twilight, please? I promise I'll be just fine, if anything happens I'm sure Mrs. Bear would help sort things out."

>Only a bear? You can easily take care of a- oh wait.

>You don't have your sword on you.

>You don't have your usual horde of minions with you either.

>Fantastic.

>You're in a world of seemingly eternal happiness and peace without any sort of weapon to raze it to the ground.

>The white unicorn steps forward.

"Oh Dear, I can't just let you try to keep watch of this thing on your own. Let me come with you."

>Her purple counterpart's worried expression is replaced with one of moderate relief.

"That's a good idea, if he tries anything, it'd be smart to have someone who can, um, subdue him."

>You pray to the dark gods that they don't decide to drag you through the air like a ragdoll again.

"Well, I should really get going back to the library to write to the princess. You two be careful."

>The rainbow one swoops down.

"Don't worry, if this thing tries anything, it'll regret it! I'll buck him all the way to that mountain with a POW!"

>The pegasus kicks at the air.

"Rainbow."

"...and a BAM!"

>Twilight tries again to get her attention.

"Rainbow!"

"...and a BOOM!"

"RAINBOW!"

>The purple unicorn's shout does the trick.

"Um, yeah Twi?"

"Good night."

>Taking the hint, the pegasus and other ponies exchange their good nights and go their separate ways.

>You hear a light tinking noise as the yellow one pokes your leg.

"Um, follow me please. My home is this way."

>The white unicorn casts a stern gaze your way.

>You really don't want to be touched by their filthy magic again.

>By the Gods, you're actually at its mercy.

>This is definitely not one of the higher points of your life.

>You hope to end this as soon as you see the opportunity.

>Unfortunately, that opportunity won't be coming very soon.

>Begrudgingly, you follow the small yellow horse creature to the little dirt path leading to its home.

>The unicorn followed, its eyes glued to you.

>Fuck this gay realm.