The Good, the Bad, and the Pink

This isn't mine. The author has no pastebin, and no desire to make one. Part one published first in Nov2012, part 2 Dec2012

 

>1 year anniversery in Equestria

>it's your day off from working at Sweet Apple Acres

>instead though, today you're working at Sugarcube Corner

>the Cakes can't hope to pay you, what with paying Pinkie and taking care of the foals

>however you usually get a pretty damn tasty pie or two for your trouble

>besides, Pinkie makes working there fun as hell

 

>walking down the road when you hear the sound of hooves behind you

>Oh for fucks sake, not today....

>turn around, it's Fucking Fluttershy

>she's in a goddamn clown suit

>she's got everything from a polka dot suit, frills, face paint, and even an oversized red nose

 

>"Um....anon?"

 

No Fluttershy, clowns aren't my fetish.

 

>Her ears droop, and her head hangs

>you sigh in exasperation

 

Fluttershy, for the last time, it doesn't matter what you try, I'm just not attracted to ANY ponies, including you.

 

>"But...but..."

 

You have to understand that ponies just aren't my thing. Never have been, never will be.

 

>this is only half the truth though. The other half is that Fluttershy is an obsessive stalker.

>However, she starts to cry.

>The paint on her face starts to run. Even though it's Fluttershy, you can't help but feel like an asshole

 

 

>you kneel down, and put a couple hands on her shoulders, until her crying abates to a few intermittent sniffles

 

Look, Fluttershy....it's my 1 year anniversery here in Equestria, and I'm gonna invite Twi, AJ, Pinkie, RD, and Rarity to my place for a little party tonight....I want you to come.

 

>Fluttershy's ears perk up

 

As a FRIEND.

 

>"Oh..."

>Despite this, a weak smile flickers on her face

>You check the time on your watch, you're already five minutes late

 

Crap....Fluttershy I've gotta go, I'm already late as it is. I'll see you at my place tonight.

 

>Fluttershy lets out a squeal of joy, wrapping her hooves around your neck

>"I'll be there anon! And....um....happy anniversery!!"

 

>Before you can protest, she plants a wet kiss on your cheek,

>the red clown nose she's wearing makes a distinct *honk* as it presses into your face

>she then runs off, giggling to herself

>she's never going to take a hint...

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

 

You soon arrive at sugarcube corner

>you give the door a few quick knocks and wait patiently

>a minute later, no answer.......odd

 

>you knock again

>this time, you hear a frantic commotion from inside the shop

>you then hear a few pots and pans being knocked over and crashing to the floor...

>you jump back when you hear a frustrated yell from inside. Soon after, the door was unlocked and yanked open

 

>"WHAT?!"

 

>There was no other way to describe it, Pinkie looked positively pissed off.

>Her hair was even more tangled and frizzy than normal, making her look downright disturbed.

>However, her expression changed when she realized who it was, switching from anger to embarrassment...

 

>"A....anon, I...I didn't know it was...I'm sorry..."

 

Hey, it's fine Pinkie. Is.....everything alright?

 

>"YEAH! I mean...yeah, everything is great! I mean....better than great! Uh....what brings you here?"

 

Uh....you asked me to help you out today. Remember?

 

>"Oh! That was today?! Ohmigosh, I can't be-LIEVE I forgot....uh....come on in!"

 

>You walk into Sugarcube corner as Pinkie backs away from the door, facing you the whole time

>she never takes her eyes off you.....it's a little unsettling.

 

Hey Pinkie, where are the Cakes?

 

>"Visiting family, they...um.....took Pound and Pumpkin with. You know, everyone want to see the new babies right?

>Pinkie laughs nervously, shuffling a bit in place

 

 

Oh, uh...cool.

 

>you shuffle your feet, wondering when Pinkie was going to ask you to do something

 

So...uh, what are we doing today?

 

>Pinkie doesn't respond. It's as if she's in some sort of a trance.

 

Pinkie?

 

>She shakes her head repeatedly, coming out of it.

>"WHA?! I....the cupcakes need to be frosted!! I'll.....be....uhm....working the counter!!"

 

>Pinkie puts a couple of hooves into your back and shoves you into the kitchen, and promptly dashes back to the counter

>explainthisbullshit.jpg

>regardless, you find a half-dozen trays of cupcakes waiting on the kitchen counter, and a large icing bag next to them, and a bowl of sprinkles

>shrugging, you get to work

 

>about thirty minutes later, you're almost done with the cupcakes, finishing the last of the sprinkles on them

>however, you get this familiar chill washing over you. That feeling like you're being.....watched.

>you wheel around, seeing nothing in the doorway from the kitchen to the shop. Must be your imagination...

>walking to the doorway, you see Pinkie tapping her hoof frantically at the counter, mumbling to herself, unable to keep still

 

Uh...Pinkie?

 

>She nearly jumps out of her skin, staring at you for a few seconds.

 

>"WOAH! I...uh...how are the cupcakes going Anon?!"

 

Almost done. Pinkie...will you tell me what's wrong already? You're freaking me out.

 

>"Pinkie tries laughing. But you can tell that it's painfully forced.

>"NAH! I'm fine Anon! Really! Finish the cupcakes so we can put them in the display!"

 

>You do as your told, but you really start to worry. Was she in trouble? Were the cakes gonna lay her off? Did she get in a fight with one of her friends?

 

>You ponder these questions as you put the finishing touches on the cupcakes

 

 

>While you are though, you get it again.....that cold, eerie feeling like you're being watched.

>You spin around as quickly as possible, but again, nothing.

>You even check the cupboards for some reason, but there is nothing hiding, nor amiss.

>You start to think that Pinkie's edginess is starting to rub off on you. Regardless, you go to check on her again.

>walking to the kitchen doorway, you see that the she is missing from the counter, and nowhere to be found.

 

What the hell....

 

>*splat*

 

>you jump, spinning around at the noise

>you notice that right in the middle of the floor is a solitary cupcake, frosting side down on the floor

>something is NOT right...you feel like you're losing your fucking mind

>you approach the cupcake cautiously, and bend over to pick it up

>as you do, you feel the heat of hot breath on the seat of your pants

>you freeze, but then roll your eyes. You finally know what's going on. You just wonder HOW she sneaked in here.

>You begin to turn around...

 

Fluttershy, I TOLD you already, I am not interested in...

 

>your words freeze in your throat when you see who was behind you

 

>It's Fucking.....Pinkie Pie?

 

 

PINKIE?! What the hell!?

>big mistake

 

>Pinkie's lower lip trembles, and her back legs quake, before giving out behind her

>braceforimpact.png

>Pinkie lets out a loud, earsplitting wail of dispair, which soon dissolves into a desperate flurry of frantic sobs

>god fucking dammit

>unable to think of anything else, you kneel down and wrap Pinkie in a hug. She bawls noisily into your shirt.

>you try to talk to her softly

 

Pinkie, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Can you please tell me why you're...

 

>You're interrupted when you get a whiff of something. A strange, animalistic smell that you didn't notice before

>You back away from the hug and look down. Though hidden by the way she's sitting, you see it...

>The space between her legs is absolutely soaking wet. Even the wood floor underneath her is starting to grow dark.

>You don't know much about pony physiology, but you've been to enough biology classes to have a good idea what's going on.

>You also realize why she wouldn't turn her back on you this whole time...

 

Pinkie.....are you in......heat?

 

>Inadvertantly, you feel yourself blush at the question. You struggle to contain your spaghetti.

>Pinkie, blushing crimson in turn, looking equally embarrassed, only manages a few quick nods before bursting into another round of hiccupy, sobby tears.

 

>"I *hic* tried to *sniff* take care of it *hic* this morning. But it won't *hic* go away!!! It's so bad it *hic* hurts!"

 

>images of Pinkie Pie desperately trying to pleasure herself invades your thoughts, and you struggle to push it out of your brain

>fuck no, she's a pony man....don't even go there....

 

 

>She looks up at you, here eyes wide and tears flowing down her cheeks.

>"Anon.....you're *hic* my friend right?"

 

>you know EXACTLY where this is going

 

Oh no. Oh nononononono, Pinkie you may be my friend but THAT'S where I draw the line. You KNOW that.

 

>big mistake...again

>Pinkie lets out another sob as she shoves her face into your shirt. Your front now feels like it's been splashed with a bucket of water

 

>"PLEASE! ANON I'M *hic* GONNA *hic* OVERFLOW!"

 

>Judging by the small, gooey puddle she's sitting in, you wonder if she's being literal or metaphorical.

>Ever since you've gotten here, you haven't had the slightest inclination to do ANYTHING with any of the ponies

>Without a single woman in a whole year, it wasn't like you didn't long for someone, but fuck, they aren't even human!

>Despite this, Pinkie was your friend, probably the best one out of all the friends you had here in Equestria

>and you hated to see her like this

>and maybe....deep down....you were curious....

>NO! That's not the reason!! She isn't even human!! Pull yourself together!!

 

>she WAS your friend though...

 

>Fucking shit...

>you take a deep, resigned breath. You can't believe you're considering this.

>One time. A pity fuck. That's all it is, nothing more Anon...

 

 

P...Pinkie?

 

>Pinkie looks up from your shirt, biting her lip to stop her sobs

>you take another deep breath

 

Look....just. This. Once. And you have to SWEAR never to tell anyone...

 

>Pinkie's eyes light up like they've been shot full of rainbows and methamphetamine. A wide, jack-o-lantern grin break out over her face

>"CROSSMYHEARTANDHOPETOFLYSTICKACUPCAKEINMYEYE!!!!!"

>She dives off of you, sprinting toward the front door of the shop, flipping the sign outside to "CLOSED"

>She then runs right back at you, and with a horrifying amount of strength, drags you a few feet before tossing you onto the center kitchen island

 

OOOF! P..Pinkie?! Aren't we going to...you're room or something?!

 

>"NO TIME!!"

 

>In one springy jump, she leaps on top of you, attacking your clothes with her teeth.

>You struggle to help her out, undoing the buttons on your shirt and pants

>at the same time, her soaking wet bottom plops down on your crotch. The warmth suddenly makes you flush, and you feel yourself go hard...

>God dammit boner! You aren't supposed to be this eager!

>As you start undoing the zipper on your pants, Pinkie Pie lays a sloppy, wet kiss on your lips, grinding herself against you

>you would have gasped in shock if Pinkie wasn't interrupting your air supply, her tongue invading your mouth as she forcefully made out with you

 

>after a while, you realize you're going lightheaded. You mumble frantically into her mouth, trying to let her know you need air.

>mercifully she breaks off the kiss, leaving you gasping for breath

>however, the kisses only go lower, down your neck, your now bare chest, and down your abdomen...

>watching with wide eyes, she yanks down your pants and underwear in one quick motion, suddenly gobbling your entire length

 

 

WOAHFUCK!!!

 

>Pinkie pulls her head up instantly

>"Ohgosh! Anon areyouokay?!"

 

Y..yeah I'm fine. That was just a little.....sudden.

 

>To your surprise, you laugh a bit. Perhaps you're just a little overtaken by the inanity of it all...

>Pinkie grins

 

>"Ohhhhh I get it. I'll be more gentle."

 

>Pinkie bends her head down slowly, tracing lines with her tongue over the veined rod until, after a few minutes, she was tracing circles around your tip

>Your are holding onto the edges of the center island for dear life, and you feel like you're going to crush the granite

>sweet fucking jesus, you're......really enjoying this?

>however, she suddenly stops, leaving you on the verge, and dying for relief

 

>"Mmmmmm, it's so velvety.....but it's missing something....I KNOW!"

 

>grinning, she grabs the cupcake icing nearby, holding it gently over your pulsing member, and gives it a squeeze

>the sweet frosting spurts out of the tip, covering your rod copiously.

>Giggling to herself, Pinkie draws all sorts of ridiculous patterns, happy faces, stars, and sparkles all over your chest and abdomen

>tossing the empty tube aside, she goes for your crotch again, moaning in ecstacy as she laps up the frosting, licking it away cleanly

 

>Boner: She can't take much more, captain!

 

 

>right when you feel like you're about to lose it again, you feel her lips and tongue leave you.

>you groan in frustration, how long was she going to keep teasing you?

>however, you feel her lips again, this time against your middle as she messily licks at the frosting

>she's far more careless this time around, clamboring over your body, icing being smeared between the two of you

>eventually she's right back at your lips, kissing you with wild abandon when suddenly...

 

MMMRRRHHGOD!!

 

>you feel jolts of pleasure rock through your lower body as Pinkie lowers her bottom onto your crotch

>......slowly being guided gently into her pulsing, wet, love hole

>it's so hot...like someone setting a fresh baked pie directly in your lap

>Pinkie bucks her hips clumsily against you, pumping up and down

 

>*WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP*

 

>the, lewd, wet, slapping sound puntures the quiet of the kitchen

>in a part of your head not wracked with pleasure, you realize that this is, in no way, a pity fuck

>a short time later, you feel it....welling up inside you

>you don't want it to end, and you struggle not to cum

>however, it's too much, and you break off Pinkie's kiss for just a second

 

"Pinkie! I'm gonna....

>"Me too!"

 

>suddenly, with the force of a tidal wave, your orgasm hits you. You grit your teeth, struggling not to cry out.

>At the same time, Pinkie clamps against your like a velvet glove, and lets out a long squeal of pleasure.

>As you cum surging into her, warmth floods your crotch. Through the blur, you see Pinkie squirting copioiusly against your lower tummy

>you are soaked in frosting, sweat, and pony fuckjuices and....

 

>holy fuck it was awesome!

 

 

>Pinkie slumps against you, mumbling almost drunkenly

>"Wuzzatgoodferyoutoo?"

You have no idea, Pinkie...

 

>Chuckling to yourself, and reveling in sated bliss, you suddenly hear a strange noise. Like the sound of eggs cracking.

>you turn your head, and suddenly feel as though a bucket of ice cascaded into your stomach

>standing in the doorway to the kitchen was none other than....

 

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

>her eyes were wide, her mouth gaping open, and a sideways basket of eggs at her feet, some of them broken

 

>Through the endless void of space and time, you can feel the dark, terrible rustling of Fluttershy's jimmies

 

>You sit up almost immediately, grabbing Pinkie to keep her from sliding off of you and falling onto the floor

>Pinkie is almost completely unaware, her mouth a twitching smile and her eyes unfocused

>As you stare at Fluttershy, you remember those words you said..."I'm just not attracted to ANY ponies."

 

>and yet here you are, sitting in a shameful mess of love juices and icing, with Pinkie on top of you

 

F....Fluttershy! I....look....I know this looks REALLY bad....

 

>no words, you just hear a low, rumbling snarl from deep down inside her as her face contorts with rage

 

I...I know what I said....and I know that makes me a HUGE hypocrite, but....

 

>Suddenly, a barbaric roar, one that pierced the very skies of Equestria, exploded through Sugarcube Corner that day

 

 

>In an instant, Fluttershy was at a nearby counter, clambouring at a block of knives

>grabbing one clumsily between her hooves, she bends backwards, screaming like a maniac, rearing back to throw it

 

>Feeling an internal apology well up for Pinkie, you toss her roughly out of the line of fire, and she falls like a sack of potatoes to the floor

 

>at the same time, you grab a platter of cupcakes, some of them falling out as you hold it over your face, just as Fluttershy releases the knife

>staring at the platter, you see the knife pierce dead center, right through the metal, the blade going deep enough to prick your nose

 

OH FUCK!

 

>roaring, Fluttershy dives at you, but you duck out of the way, making a break for the exit

>as soon as you're out the door, you hear glass shatter as Fluttershy bursts right through a window

>NOPEMODE ENGAGED

 

>you sprint, as fast as your legs can carry you, slimy and naked through the middle of Ponyville, with Fluttershy hot on your tail

 

>"COME BACK HERE ANON!!! YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME!!!!!!!"

 

>random ponies stare at the sight, a naked, frosting covered human being chased by a pegasus right through the middle of the street

>you make a few anguished cries for help, but they just keep staring, too shocked to comprehend the situation

>You wrack your brain for ideas. Ideas you are painfully short on.

 

>TWILIGHT! If you head to her house, she should be able to stop her before she kills you!

>You head in the general direction of Twilight's Library, ducking through an alley, tossing garbage cans and debris behind you

>despite this, you feel the horrifying wingbeats grow closer and closer....

>suddenly though, you see it! The oh-so-familiar tree!

 

 

>with one last burst of speed, your legs burning, nausea gripping your stomach, and your lungs ragged, you approach the front door

>you turn the knob, and find the door surprisingly unlocked, and throw yourself inside, turning the deadbolt before you hear her slamming against the door

>Inside it's dark, but suddenly, the lights go on

>party horns and party poppers go off.

 

>"HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVER...oh....waitwhat.."

 

>Rarity, Twilight, and Applejack are standing in the middle of the library

>a large banner with the words "Happy Anniversery Anon!" is stretched across the ceiling

>party favors and streamers are everywhere and Rainbow Dash is tossing confetti in the air above you all

>however, she stops too, and joins the others, gawking at you as you stand in your birthday suit, breathing heavily, with more icing on you than a wedding cake

>realizing you're still nude, your hands shoot down to cover your junk

>Applejack is the first to speak

 

>"Uh....howdy there Ay-non....guess Pinkie brought yah here on time after all, even if yer...uh....without yer duds....where is she anywa..."

 

>"LET ME IN ANON, OR I'LL RIP YOUR STUPID ARM OUT AND BEAT YOU WITH IT!"

 

>You look pleadingly at them all.

 

Help me.

 

 

>suddenly, the door is broken down, slamming painfully into your back, causing you to stumble forward

>you manage to catch your balance, climbing up the nearest bookcase like a fucking squirrel

>yanking the largest book you can out of the shelves, you wheel around, ready to take a one-handed swing at her if she should fly at you

 

>you're not wrong in your assumption. Screaming, Fluttershy flies at you from the ground, ready to beat you senseless

>however, the unmistakable sound of magic being used rings through the library, and Fluttershy is suddenly knocked from the air

>her wings lock together, as if stuck like glue

>this doesn't stop her, however, and she claws frantically at the bookcase below you like a pissed off dog, screaming and shouting

 

>"FLUTTERSHY! If you don't stop RIGHT NOW I'll do the same thing to your legs!"

 

>Fluttershy turns around, Twilight pointing her horn directly at her, charged ominiously with magic

>she stops clamboring at the bookcase, but won't stop glaring at you

>Rainbow Dash suddenly speaks up

 

>"Can SOME-PONY tell me what the flying feather is going on!?"

 

 

>"HE LIED TO ME!"

 

>Fluttershy's voice cracks as tears start rolling down her face.

 

>"HE SAID HE'D COULDN'T LOVE....I MEAN....LOVE-LOVE ANYPONY, BUT I SAW HIM....AND PINKIE...."

 

>Fluttershy collapses into a heap, crying profusely

 

>Twilight and Applejack stare each other, then at Fluttershy, then at you, then back at Fluttershy, then back at you

 

>Rarity has a hoof to her mouth, looking like she's going to be violently ill

>Rainbow Dash bursts out laughing, rolling onto the floor and holding her sides

 

>Pinkie Pie? ANON? Jeez I knew Pinkie Pie was WEIRD but this really takes the.....

 

>Twilight turned angrily towards Dash

>"Shut it Rainbow!"

 

>if you had pants on right now, the pockets would probably be erupting spaghetti like Mount Vesuvius

 

 

Fluttershy, you're right....I lied to you....

 

>you're surprised to hear yourself speak, but you slowly start to descend the bookshelf

>Fluttershy's crying ceases for a second as she watches you

 

The fact is, not wanting ponies in....well....THAT way....WAS one of the reasons I wasn't attracted to you. I guess I found out today that reason was a stupid one.

 

>as you reach the bottom, you keep a healthy distance between you and her

 

But it wasn't the only reason. Fluttershy...I just don't WANT you like that. You're not my type, and frankly you scare the hell out of me. I'm sorry I didn't just come out and tell you that earlier, but that's just how it is. I'm sorry...

 

>There is an awkward silence as you stand there, in the middle of the botched surprise party, all eyes on you.

>I guess today, you're the bad guy...

>Fuck, this day can't get any worse...

>Twilight approaches Fluttershy, putting a hoof on her shoulder

 

>"C'mon Fluttershy, I'll take you home."

 

>*BAM!*

 

>Fluttershy delivers a Mortal Kombat style uppercut to Twilight, sending her flying back a few feet, crumpling to the ground in a heap

>K.O.!!!

 

>As Rarity screams, and AJ and RD stare in shock, Fluttershy turns toward you, an eerie smile crosses her face

>"I don't care what you say Anon! I'm going to love you until you enjoy it!! And believe me, YOU WILL ENJOY IT!!!"

 

>MAXIMUM NOPE

 

 

>you sprint up the stairs, Fluttershy following close behind you. Fortunately, the spell keeping her wings from flapping is still in effect

>when you get to the upper floor, you open the doors to the balcony, and slam them shut, holding them behind you

>you feel her slamming her body repeatedly into the doors, screaming her head off

>fuck, now you're trapped several stories in the air on a tiny balcony, with an insane rapist trying to kill you

 

>welp, it's all over now, it's been nice knowing you, Equestria....

>suddenly though, a large shadow is cast from behind you

 

>it's Twilight's balloon, rising into the air right next to the balcony

>Salvation!!

 

>not caring to wonder how or why the balloon was there, you suddenly let go of the door, running off the balcony and taking a leap of faith

 

>by the tips of your fingers, you manage to grab the edge of the balloon basket

>the doors of the balcony swing open, and Fluttershy runs out on the edge, only to see you sailing away

 

>"ANON! WHEN I GET YOU I SWEAR I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!"

 

>as you fly higher into the sky, her screams get softer, until you can no longer hear them

>you're just barely hanging on, and you feel your grip slipping...you grunt in frustration, trying to get a better grip, but no use...

>well shit...now you're gonna be just as dead in a second...

>suddenly, a familiar pink maned pony pops her head over the basket

 

>"Hiya Anon!"

>It's the motherfucking Pinkie Pie

 

 

Pinkie! Oh man, I am glad to see you...

 

>She reaches out a hoof, and you manage to grab on. With her help, you tumble into the basket.

>You both lie up against the the side of the basket. You're heart is thumping out of it's chest, after all, you came close to death several times...

 

>"I guess when I woke up this morning, I kinda forgot to tell you that Twilight was having a surprise party at the library...you know, for obvious reasons..."

 

>You smirk. Heat apparently does wonders when it comes to addling a pony's mind.

 

Heh, I figured as much. I'm also guessing you followed me after Fluttershy chased me to the library.

 

>"Yep! Even got the balloon ready, just in case you needed a quick getaway! Though I was thinking we'd have to shoot her out of the sky with my party cannon!"

 

>she points at the cannon laying in a nearby corner of the basket

 

>You can't help it, you start laughing at the ridiculous chain of events that had unfolded that day. Pinkie soon joins, giggling with the occasional puncuating snort.

 

 

>When you both calm down a bit, you put an arm around Pinkie, scooting next to her.

 

You saved my life back there. Seriously, I owe you one Pinkie.

 

>"Owe me, huh? Well....there is one way you can sorta start paying me back..."

 

>You notice her squriming a bit where she's sitting. Obviously, what you two did back at Sugarcube Corner didn't sate her for long...

>She springs on top of you, staring into your eyes.

 

>"Happy anniversery, Anon."

 

>so here you are, floating in the sky in a somewhat stolen hot air balloon

>Fluttershy is hunting for your guts

>Twilight probably has a concussion

>and the entire town saw you running naked with a screaming pony chasing after you

>regardless, it was all worth it, since at the end of the day, you're not

 

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

>No, FAR from it. You're

 

>Fucking Pinkie Pie

 

-------------------------------------

 

END OF PART 1. Will post part 2 in a second. I'm not bothering with pictures, that shit takes too long....

 

Admittedly, it'll be less clop, but more batshit insane shenanigans.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PART 2

 

 

Alright, here goes part 2.

 

-------------------------------------------

 

>day 1 year + 2 weeks in Equestria

>you wake up, light shining through the windows of your bedroom

>life is good

>you turn over to your side, and find Pinkie cuddle up against you, snoring softly

>life is better

 

>it's been a couple weeks since "the incident"

>where Pinkie fucked your brains out

>....and Fluttershy caught you

>....and tried to rape and kill you for it, not necessarily in that order

>despite your fears, when you and Pinkie landed back in Ponyville, Flutters was nowhere to be found

>it unnerves you, but you keep your cool, and you don't ask about her

 

>for the two weeks in between, Pinkie has essentially been your girlfriend of sorts

>she pals around with you even more than when you were just friends

>you help her around Sugarcube Corner a whole lot more

>you take her back to your place to watch scary movies and eat cheesecake and ice cream almost errynight.....among other things of course...

>and you know what? You really love it

>you no longer care that she's a pony

 

>some of the ponies in town give you two wierd looks when you walk together

>Rainbow Dash gives you some ribbing at first over it

>But you just don't care. Feels good man.

 

 

>*DING DONG*

 

Who in the fuck can that be...

 

>grumbling to yourself at having to get up, you put your briefs on and head for the door

>you open the door. It's Fucking Rarity, Fucking Twilight, Fucking Rainbow Dash, and Fucking AJ.

 

Yeah?

 

>"We need to talk, Anon."

>All of them barge through the door, heading to the living room.

 

I didn't remember inviting any of you in...

 

>they don't say a word, but you follow them

>you take a seat on the couch, and Twilight suddenly turns to you

>"Anon, we need to talk to you about Fluttershy."

>you smirk

 

Let me guess, she's planning to make a suit out of my freshly peeled skin?

 

>"This ISN'T FUNNY ANON! You really hurt her, you know that?!"

 

By doing what? NOT letting her molest me every waking moment?

 

>Twilight groans in frustration

>"She won't even talk to us, unless it involves her crying her eyes out about you!"

 

>Rainbow Dash butts in. You look at her and notice that she has dark circles under her eyes. She looks positively haggard.

 

>"You think a therapist lives here in Ponyville?! I'M THE ONE whose door she knocks on every night to blubber her eyes out to! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LITTLE SLEEP I'VE GOTTEN?"

 

Uh....

 

>"OR HOW MANY TUBS OF MY ICE CREAM SHE HAS EATEN?!?"

 

Look this isn't my flipping problem!! If she can't get it through her head that I don't want her, then too bad!

 

 

>Rarity shoves Rainbow Dash out of the way.

>"Obviously this IS your problem, Anon, since you had a part in causing it. Though we propose a solution."

 

And what might that be....

 

>"The Ponyville Harvest festival is in a few days, and we want you to take Fluttershy as your da..."

 

No.

 

>"Anon! Just one little date, nothing more! I'm sure Pinkie wouldn't mind."

 

I do. Get out of my house.

 

>"You BRUTE! Well then you can forget about me ever tailoring you any more clothes!"

 

I'll get by.

 

>"An' you can forget 'bout comin' back to work at Sweet Apple Acres."

 

I'll get a new job.

 

>"I'll beat your skull in!"

 

Do it, filly.

 

>they all stare daggers at you, but you stand firm

>Twilight gives one last relenting sigh

>"C'mon girls, he's not doing it..."

>They all start shuffling toward the door, and you can't help but smile victoriously

>"WAIT!!"

 

>you and the other four ponies wheel around at the noise

>It's fucking Pinkie pie, wearing her nightcap, still looking rather sleepy

 

 

>"Anon, I think you and Fluttershy should go."

>You go to Pinkie, kneeling down.

 

Pinkie, she's nuts. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to you at all.

 

>"Anon, Fluttershy might be a little loco in the coco, but she's our friend! We can't leave her down in the dumps."

 

But...

 

>"I don't mind you going with her, if it means making her feel better! You can do that for me, right?"

>Pinkie leans in and gives you a smooch, and flashes dem bedroom eyes.

>Fucking Pinkie Pie.

>you facepalm, kneading the bridge of your nose with your thumb and index finger

 

Alright fine....

 

>You hear the other four cheering behind you.

>Rainbow Dash groans in relief.

>"Thank Celestia! I'm going to get some sleep. Nopony better bother me till I get some decent shuteye!"

 

>she flies off, barely managing to beat her wings hard enough to stay airborne

>you turn back to Pinkie

 

Are you sure you're okay with this? Cause I'm not gonna lie, I'm not exactly thrilled....

 

>"Of course I am, silly! I can live without you for a few hours!"

>you were afraid that she'd say that...

 

 

>an hour later, you're at Fluttershy's cottage

>even from inside, you can hear her bawling her eyes out

>you can't believe you're going to do this...

>you knock at the door

>the door opens, and you are greeted by what looked like an incredibly exhausted Angel

>he's holding a box of tissues, and giving you the "Please, for the love of god, kill me." look

>on a nearby couch is Fluttershy, crying into the couch arm, and surrounded by a sea of used tissues

>you approach her

 

Uh...Fluttershy?

 

>Flutts looks up, her eyes bloodshot, tears and snot dribbling down her face

>she looks like a fucking trainwreck

>"Oh, look who's *sniff* here. C-come to rub your n-new relationship *snirt* in my face?"

 

No Fluttershy. I....want you to come to the Harvest festival with me. As my date.

 

>she gives you a sour look

>"What k-kind of *sniff* joke is *hic* this?"

 

It isn't. Look, I'm asking you out, do you want to come with me or not?

 

>her ears perk up a bit as she stares at you, her face changing from hurt to cautious disbelief

>"What about P-Pinkie?"

 

She...uh...didn't want to go. She told me to...um...ask someone...else?

 

>well shit, that was a stupid explanation, great job Anon...

>however, you are suddenly glomped violently to the floor

>"OH ANON! I KNEW SHE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK TO ME!!!"

 

 

>you are then peppered by a half dozen wet, teary kisses

>she smells like a fucking pet shop

>oh god why me

 

>you sit up, wiping her snot and tears from your cheeks

 

Okay then, I guess I'll....see you in a couple days, yeah?

 

>Fluttershy doesn't respond, cuddling you gleefully and giggling like a fucking schoolgirl

>you peel her off of your body and start heading for the door

>however, she gives you a parting ass-grab before you head out

>Fucking Fluttershy...

 

>you leave her house, and find Rarity, AJ, RD, and Twilight waiting outside, smiling.

>"Now see, that wasn't so hard, was it darling?"

 

Piss off, Rarity.

 

 

>eventually, the night of the date arrived, and you were standing at the front door of Fluttershy's cottage once more...

>you were wearing a pinstriped dress shirt, slacks, and a pretty stylish pair of shoes Rarity had made just for the occassion

>goddamn you were dreading this...a date with the mare who just a couple weeks prior nearly murdered you

>why are the other five still friends with this psycho?

 

>"Pssst!"

 

>you wheel around, looking for the source of the noise

 

>"PSSSST! HEY ANON!"

 

>nearby, you saw one of Fluttershy's hedges rustling...

 

>walking toward it, a pink mane suddenly pops out of the green brush

 

P....Pinkie?

 

>the little pink pone was wearing a black, close-fitting sneaking suit of sorts, a set of what appeared to be comically oversized night vision goggles, and a black satchel over her back

>she would have done Sam Fisher proud

 

Pinkie, what are you doing out here?

 

>"Anon, I knew you'd be all worried about Fluttershy being all crazy and stuff, so I decided to hide out here and be your backup!"

 

>you bit your lip, trying not to laugh at Pinkie's inanity, though in reality, her suggestion was probably a good one

 

Thanks Pinkie, I'm not gonna lie, I appreciate this. Just stay out of sight, okay?

 

>"Don't worry about a thing anon! I'll be super duper incognito!"

 

>with that, Pinkie disappeared back into the hedge

 

 

>sighing, you walked back toward Fluttershy's front door

>your hand shaking, you knocked several times...

>almost instantly, the door flew open, Fluttershy hovering in midair

>she was wearing an elegant evening dress, a set of earring, and her mane shone like she had been to the spa several times

 

>her eyes went wide when she saw you

>"Oh anon....you look so handsome...."

 

>before you could resist, she zipped through the air right at you, wrapping all four legs around your middle

>sighing softly and cuddling you, you couldn't help but roll your eyes

 

>oh well, at least she smelled like perfume instead of those furry little things that follow her around...

 

>"Oh my! I almost forgot my necklace! I'll be right back anon! Then we can start our.....*giggle*....date!"

 

>Fluttershy disappeared back into the house and zipped upstairs, and you walked inside a few steps, waiting in the living room

 

>"Pssst!"

 

>What the fuck? Pinkie again?

 

>"PSST! ANON, OVER HERE YOU BLOCKHEAD!"

 

>nope, didn't sound like her

 

>looking around, you saw a couple lumps hiding behind one of the window drapes

>underneath, and sticking out, was a curly purple, and straight rainbow tail....

 

Rainbow Dash? Rarity? What the hell...

 

 

>"We're here to make sure you keep your end of the bargain, dear. It's nothing personal."

 

What exactly is that supposed to mean?

 

>you heard Dash's voice from behind the curtain now

>"It's simple, you upset fluttershy, I'll clobber you!"

 

>"Now now Dash....we aren't going to 'clobber' anyone. But anon had better make this night the best Fluttershy has ever had, or all those things we said would happen WILL happen. No more tailoring, no more job at Sweet Apple Acres, no more books from Twilight..."

 

Look, I told you already, you're not scaring me with that bullsh-

 

>"My goodness anon! Do you really hate Fluttershy that much! Just do yourself a favor and do whatever it takes to make Fluttershy happy, or things are going to get FAR more difficult for..."

 

>"Anoooon! I'm ready!!!"

 

>you look over to see Fluttershy coming down the stairs

>taking a quick glance back, you saw that Rarity and Rainbow Dash had disappeared out from under the drapes...

 

 

>you and Fluttershy were heading outside into the dark when you felt her nudging you from behind

 

What is it, Fluttershy?

 

>Fluttershy looks away, blushing

"Um...anon....isn't a coltfriend supposed to kiss his special some-pony on their date?"

 

I thought that usually happened AFTER the date....

 

>"Well.....I can't really wait....and if it's alright with you...."

 

Look, Fluttershy, I know this is a date, but me and Pin...

 

>you stop talking when you see Rainbow Dash from the window of Fluttershy's cottage

>she's looking at you angrily, making a slashing motion across her throat with her hoof

 

>god dammit...is this what you were going to have to put up with all night?

>as much as you didn't want this, you would have preferred not to get on every other pony's bad side

>for now, you were just going to have to deal...

>you suppress a groan of frustration

 

Okay....maybe just one little....

 

>Fluttershy was on you like white on rice, crushing your torso as her front legs wrapped around your chest

>her face pressed into you as she gave you a sloppy, wet, tonguey, woefully inexperienced french kiss

>you nearly gagged at how far her tongue went into your mouth, your eyes popping out of your head

 

 

>from the window, Rainbow Dash nodded, gesturing with her hooves for you to hug her

>fuck you RD, seriously, fuck you

 

>you put your arms around Fluttershy, and this only elicited a moan of ecstacy from her

 

>you turn yourself away from the house, so you wouldn't have to look at that rat bastard skittle-colored pony

>however, you felt your heart stop as you did

 

>her head popping out of the nearby bushes, you saw Pinkie Pie looking right at the two of you

>her night vision goggles were off her face, and her eyes were wide

>she looked absolutely heartbroken

 

>oh god no....

 

>for a fleeting second, you felt like biting Fluttershy's tongue off and screaming to her that Rainbow Dash and Rarity were making you do this

>however, Fluttershy broke off the kiss at last, giggling

 

>"Alright mister, time for you to show me a good time!"

 

>the two of you started walking, while you prepared in your head your long-winded explanation and apology to Pinkie Pie

 

 

>eventually, the two of you were in Ponyville square

>the gaslamps illuminated the partying and festivities

>the festival was predictably apple-themed, no doubt Applejack and her clan were responsible for much of the celebration's sponsorship

>there was food, a cider bar, dancing, music.....it would have looked pretty fun if you weren't being coerced...

 

"Oh anon! We should try dancing! It looks like fun!"

 

Hang on a second Fluttershy....I'm a little tired from walking, I'm gonna sit down for a second.

 

>you walked over to a nearby bench, with Fluttershy following close behind you

>as you sit down, Fluttershy plops down uncomfortable close, nuzzling your side, and closing her eyes

 

>you choose not to reciprocate, you didn't know if Pinkie was watching, and you didn't want to upset her any more

 

>however, from a secluded crowd of ponies, you saw a familiar marshmellow pone waving a hoof at you

>Fucking Rarity...

 

>gesturing one of her hooves in a wide motion, you realized she was trying to tell you to put your arm around Fluttershy

>you glared at her, angrily shaking your head, enough was fucking enough

 

>however, Rarity only returned a dirty look, pointing her horn at you

>as it suddenly started to glow, you felt your left arm move on it's own, and you nearly yelled in surprise

>however, your arm came to rest over Fluttershy's body, and she opened her eyes

 

"Anooonnnn, you really DO want me, don't you..."

 

>smirking, she licked at your neck, burying a hoof in your crotch

>no, this shit was not going to fly

 

 

>you raised your other hand, about to push her away, but as if held down by an invisible force, it was sandwiched painfully to the bench

>you opened your mouth to tell her to stop, but that slammed shut too, again the result of Rarity's magic

>Fuck you Rarity, fuck you with a rake

 

>she continued to rub against you, moaning softly, when you could have sworn you heard something not too far away...

>it sounded like.....sobbing.....that familiar hiccupy sob that you've only ever heard one pony make...

 

>you prayed that you were just hearing things...

 

>mercifully though, Fluttershy stopped, a smile on her face

 

"Okay Mr. Anon! Show me some of your dance moves!"

 

>as you felt the magic gripping your hands and mouth releasing, Fluttershy grabbed a mouthful of your shirt, dragging you towards the swarm of dancing ponies in the middle of the square

 

 

>as you got there, you stood awkwardly, you couldn't dance for shit

>however, as the fiddly, country-style music flew through the air from the nearby band, you suddenly felt your hips gyrating, and your arms moving

 

>oh fuck, it was Rarity again...

 

>Fluttershy's looked at you in surprise

 

>"Ohhhhh anon! You dance so well!"

 

>Fluttershy reared up on her hind legs, then pressed her back into your torso, rubbing her ass into the crotch of your pants

>you felt absoutely humiliated, what you were doing would have felt more at home in a seedy club than out in a public square...

>this continued on for a couple minutes, before the song ended, and Rarity released her magical hold on you

 

"FLUTTERSHY! Look....I'm....er....exhausted, I'm gonna go get some apple fritters!"

 

 

>The two of you were sitting down, watching the other ponies dance about thirty minutes later

>you barely touched your apple fritters, while Fluttershy was busy wolfing down an entire pie

 

>as you tried to find a way out of this jam, you noticed someone at the cider bar nearby....

 

>oh god....it was Pinkie

 

>she was making no attempt to hide herself, still in her spy gear, with what looked like eight empty cider flagons around her, and working on a ninth

 

>dammit Pinkie, I never asked for this!!

 

>it was official, this date had to end now....job, clothes, and physical integrity be damned

>but ever now and then, you'd catch glimpses of Rainbow Dash, and worse, Rarity, in the crowd

>you could get nowhere without her turning you into her own personal marionette

 

>thinking, you got a desperate, yet bright idea

>maybe if you caused enough of a scene with her though.....you'd both get thrown out of the festival!

>okay.....Rarity wanted you to show Fluttershy a good time, you were going to give it to her...

 

>okay anon....you can do this....

 

 

Umm....Fluttershy?

 

>she looked up at you, little bits of pie crumbling off her mouth

 

>"Mmmm...yeah anon?"

 

You know? You really are beautiful. In fact, I was completely wrong about you...I want you to stay my special somepony...

 

>Fluttershy's eyes went as big as saucers, and she began to tremble and hyperventilate

 

>"Y...you mean it?!"

 

Uh huh.....and you know how you're always trying to guess my fetish? Well....I think it's time you finally knew....

 

>Fluttershy was squeaking nonstop, looking like she was about to explode

>you leaned toward the side of her head, whispering into her ear

 

Public sex...

 

 

>in a flash, you felt yourself getting tackled to the ground

>Fluttershy was thrashing about on top of you, kissing you so hard that you felt her whole muzzle whould disappear down your throat, while she desperately tried to tear off your clothes

>her hips slammed involuntarily into your crotch as she groaned like a wild animal, as if trying to fuck you through your pants

 

>ohgodohgodohgod getheroffgetheroffgetheroff!!!!!

 

>there were shouts of disgust, screams, and a few catcalls as you were violently molested

>out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rarity and Rainbow Dash

>Rarity had a hoof to her mouth, and Rainbow dash looked as though her jaw would hit the floor

>clearly this was not the turn of events they were expecting

 

>you hoped maybe a police pony or SOMEONE would come help you, but it seemed like Rarity would be the one saving you, as you saw her lowering her horn...

>however, before she could do anything....

 

>"rrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

 

>a pink blur came flying out of nowhere, and Fluttershy was suddenly on the recieving end of a savage flying kick to the face

>with a sickening crack, Fluttershy went tumbling several yards away, holding her face in pain

>standing over you, your savior, was none other than motherfucking Pinkie pie

 

 

>Pinkie's face was wild with drunken rage, her mane and tail hung straight and limp against her, and her speech badly slurred by the massive amount of cider she had imbibed at the bar

 

>"ON YOUR THFEET, THOL'DURR! WE! ARE! LEE! VING!"

 

>Pinkie dragged you up by the shirt with her mouth, but not before Rainbow Dash and Rarity ran to intervene

 

>"Pinkie! Stop this insanity this instant!!!!"

 

>she stumbled around towards her friends

 

>"OH! YOU WANNA DAN'TH?! I'll DAN'TH!!!"

 

>rearing up on her hind legs, she reached into her sachel

>as if out of hammerspace, she pulled something long, and gunmetal grey, out of the bag

 

>it was a fucking machine gun.....A. FUCKING. MACHINE. GUN.

>it looked vaguely like one of those old WW2 german belt-fed types

 

>however, instead of bullets, there was a belt of cupcakes coming from the side, stretching back into her sachel

 

>mymindisfulloffuck.jpg

 

*RATTATATATATATATATATAT*

 

>Rarity and Rainbow Dash were suddenly gunned down with a barrage of high-speed cupcakes, slamming into them with enough force to send them flying backwards and crumpling to the ground

 

>the crowds of ponies in the square screamed and scattered at the gunshots, the whole celebration quickly becoming pure mayhem

 

 

>slinging the machine gun over her back, she looked up at you with a fierceness that scared the living hell out of you

 

>"THollow me!"

 

>she looked so dangerous with her mane slicked down, her face twisted with rage, and the machine gun on her back, that you didn't dare question her command

 

>as you ran, you heard her yelling loudly to herself, slurring badly

 

>"DELTHA THFIVE EIGHT THITH IS FUSCHIA FILLY, WE HAVTH BEEN COMPROMITHED! I REPEAT! WE HAVTH BEEN COMPROMITHED! NOW HEADING TO EGGTHRACTION POINT THOUR!"

 

>as you booked it, she came across a carriage with a couple stallions, no doubt a ride for some ponies out of town...

 

>she stumbled up to them

 

>"YOU THWO! DRIVE!"

 

>the two ponies hesitated, staring incredulously at the crazy pink filly

>however, Pinkie Pie grabbed the machine gun across her back, shooting a burst of cupcake-y gunfire into the air

 

>the stallions, both collectively shitting a brick wall, nodded their heads

 

>Pinkie climbed clumsily to the top of the carriage, with you following close behind

>she looked down at the stallions

 

>"GO!!"

 

>the carriage suddenly lurched forward, and the two of you were speeding down the road, away from Ponyville

>you were scared shitless, there was a drunken machine wielding pony next to you, you had both hijacked a carriage....

 

 

>however, it wasn't long when suddenly you heard a screaming roar of rage....

 

>"GIVE HIM BACK! ANON IS MINE, PINKIE!!"

 

>in the sky, you saw Fluttershy soaring through the air, quickly closing the distance

>Pinkie looked up, grabbing her machine gun

 

>"ENUMMY FASTHT MOOVERS! INBOUND!"

 

>Pinkie fired a burst of cupcakes towards Fluttershy, but by a combined force of Fluttershy's dodging and Pinkie's inebriation, none of the cupcakes found their mark

 

>as Pinkie continued to fire at Fluttershy, the carriage started to pick up speed as it began to head downhill...

 

>you looked back, about to tell the stallions to slow the fuck down...

>however, they were missing.....they must have unattached themselves from the carraige while you both were distracted

 

>oh shit.....

 

>as the carriage careened out of control, Pinkie fired another burst of cupcakes, one of them clipping Fluttershy in the wing

>she went tumbling back to earth, hitting the ground with a thud and a cloud of dust

 

>"GOTCHYA!"

 

>however, the carriage was flying down the hill, and as you looked forward, you saw a deep, wide pot hole in the earth...

 

Oh...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCK!

 

>one of the wheels slammed into the hole, and you felt the carriage tearing apart underneath you as both you and Pinkie went flying through the air...

 

 

>Pain.....oh fuck.....you felt like you had just been run though a washing machine spin cycle....

 

>your eyes fluttering open, and tasting blood, you realized that you were laying in grass

>you must have landed there, better than most things to land in.....thank goodness

 

>you struggle to your feet, it was still nighttime, and the wheels of the wrecked carriage nearby were still spinning....you couldn't have been out for long.

>you checked to see if you were still in one piece, but suddenly remembered...

 

PINKIE!? PINKIE WHERE ARE YOU?!

 

>but she was nowhere to be found....

>you were terrified for her, she could be hurt or worse...

 

>however, you saw something that made your heart race

>nearby was Fluttershy's cottage......oh god.....of all the places to crash...

 

>worse yet, written on the grass in bits of wreckage from the carriage:

 

>*COME AND GET ME*

 

 

 

>oh god...what game was she playing at...did she have Pinkie?

 

>you started to walk when you tripped over something hard and metallic

 

>looking down...it was Pinkie's machine gun, with a long belt of badly smeared, but still good cupcakes in it

 

>grabbing it, the ergonomics a bit awkward for you, you approached Fluttershy's cottage

 

>the front door was wide open, but inside it was dark...so you stepped inside cautiously

 

 

For best results, play this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T-RM_3EJzM

N64fags will get it.

 

>"Oh anon! What an unpleasant surprise! Do come in!"

 

>your blood froze as the lights suddenly went on

 

>In the middle of the room was Pinkie, slumped on the ground

>her skintight sneaking suit was torn, and she looked like she was out cold

>over her stood Angel, balancing a cheesecake precariously over his head, ready to pie Pinkie in the face

 

>nearby stood Fluttershy, glaring at you

 

>"Two targets anon, time for one shot! It's either Pinkie or me!"

 

>you stand there, dumbfounded at the ridiculousness of it all

 

Are.....are you serious?! You're holding her hostage with....a cheesecake?

 

>"C'mon mister! Don't try to be clever, make your move!"

 

>okay, she asked for this

 

*RATATATATATATATATATATAT*

 

>you unloaded the machine gun into Fluttershy, and she screamed as her entire body was suddenly splattered with cupcakes and cupcake icing

>as she fell over, covered in a pile of mashed cupcake, you quickly turned the machine gun on Angel

 

>the fear of whatever gods these ponies worshipped was coursing through his eyes, and he dropped the cheesecake to one side, his hands in the air and shaking his head

 

>if he could talk, he's probably be saying "Hey man, I just work here...."

 

 

 

>you would have probably blown him away too if you didn't see Pinkie stirring...

 

PINKIE!

 

>you drop the machine gun, kneeling to her side, and she blinked a bit as she looked at you, her eyes unfocused

 

>"Anon....did we make it to the egthraction point?"

 

Yeah Pinkie, we did...

 

 

-------------------------------------------------

 

Epilogue

 

>"S..so Rarity and Rainbow Dash..."

 

Yeah...a lot of what you saw was them forcing me, Rarity even used her magic...

 

>it was early the next morning, and Pinkie was in your bed, with you at her side

>you were gently pressing a wet towel into her now aching, hangover addled head

 

>you had gotten zero sleep the whole night, worried sick about whether Pinkie would be in trouble for the ruckus she caused

>you also worried for a while whether or not Pinkie might have seriously hurt herself in the crash, but as she sobered up, from what saw, she had only gotten a few scrapes and bruises

 

>still though, you wish you could have taken her to see a doctor to make extra sure, but the last thing you wanted to take her back out to Ponyville after what happened last night

>for all you knew, Ponyville's police were looking for her right now...

 

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

 

 

>you jumped up when you heard a knocking at the door

>speak of the fucking devil.....goddammit...

>oh well, I guess this was going to happen sooner or later...

 

>standing up, and sighing in defeat, you walked out of the bedroom and approached the door, hoping the cops in Ponyville were reasonable

 

>opening it, you saw the last ponies you were expecting....

>it was Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Applejack, and another white pony with a pink mane and white fur

>you felt your blood boil, a combination of sleeplessness and anger causing you to grit your teeth

 

You all have a lot of goddamn nerve showing up back here...

 

>Rarity tried to speak first

 

>"Anon, I just want..."

 

YOU! YOU out of everyone here has the LEAST right to speak right now! So what are you gonna tell me first? That you're not tailoring me any more clothes, huh? That you want to turn me into Fluttershy's fuckpuppet marionette?! Or OOOHHHH, how it was all worth driving Pinkie off the deep end?! Piss off!

 

 

>with you all huddled in your bedroom, the nurse packed up her saddle bags

 

>"Well, there's nothing broken, she just has a pretty nasty hangover and scratches is all. I advise bedrest, fluids, and NO excitement! Understood?"

 

>you all murmer in agreement as Nurse Redheart leaves, shaking her head

 

>walking up to the bedside, you sit down, stroking Pinkie's head

 

So what happens now? How much trouble is Pinkie in? Whatever damages were caused I'll pay...

 

>"Not much c'ept fer the carriage, but don't y'all worry bou't that, ay-non. That there was an Apple family celebration, and from where I see it I'm footin' the bill fer that one. An' don't worry bou't Pinkie bein' in trouble. That there festival brings in a whole mess of money for Ponyville every year, and lets just say it AIN'T comin' back if anythin' happens to Pinkie."

 

>well that was unexpected.....AJ pulling strings to get Pinkie off the hook?

 

Wow....uh...thanks AJ.

 

 

>Rarity and Rainbow Dash approach you, and Rarity is first to speak

 

>"Anon, let me just say how sorry I am....we are....for using you like tha...."

 

Don't apologize to me, I'm fine. Apologize to her.

 

>you motion over to Pinkie

>the two of them are a little caught offguard, but walk over to the bedside

 

>"Pinkie....I'm sorry about all this. I never intended things to get that out of hoof, and it was unfair of me to try and trade your happiness for Fluttershy's..."

 

>Rainbow Dash joined in

 

>"Yeah, if we had known you'd be that upset, we would have never gotten anon to do that..."

 

>Pinkie giggled weakly

 

>"So you're not mad at me for shooting cupcakes at you?"

 

>Rarity managed a sheepish smile, brushing her mane with her hoof

 

>"Getting frosting in your mane is hardly worth ending a friendship, darling. Can you forgive us."

 

>Pinkie reached out a hoof from under the covers, putting it against

 

>"Okie Dokie loki."

 

 

 

 

>well shit, might as well join in too...

 

Look....I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you guys earlier, I forgive you too. I do have to ask though....how's Fluttershy taking all this?

 

>Rainbow Dash looks up at you

 

>"Well.....badly. I guess I have to stock up on more ice cream....she'll get over it though. Hopefully..."

 

>you hear a ringing tone of magic being used, and suddenly a piece of paper and a quill float in your direction

>Twilight suddenly walks toward you

 

>"Anon, I'm not sure if this is the best time but....this would make a wonderful friendship report to Princess Celestia. Could you..."

 

>eh....why the fuck not?

 

Sure Twilight, I'll write the Princess a letter.

 

>taking the quill and paper from the air, you begin writing...

 

 

 

Dear Princess Celestia,

 

It's your foreign visitor, Anon. I learned today that some things just too valuable to throw away.

 

The concern and care of friends, even ones that do some of the stupidest, most idiotic, most pants-on-head retarded shenanigans you can imagine, since even when they do, a true friend will always try to set things right.

 

The affections of a wonderful pony whose happiness should outweigh anything else in my life

 

But most of all, there is something that I will never take for granted. The fact that I'm not...

 

Fucking Fluttershy.

 

Your faithful visitor,

 

-Anon

 

--------------------------------

 

THE END! How'd I do?