CRITICAL HIT ANON!

>Day Critical Hit in Equestria

>You are Anon, master of beating the shit out of things.

>Wake up.

>Begin battling  the shit out of the bed post for getting in your way.

>You swing at the bed post but miss.

>The bed post jabs at you and hits you right in the rib cage.

>You recover and summon all of your strength.

>You unleash your iron-like-fist upon the bed post.

>The battle is over and you have won.

"That'll teach you, beeyotch." You say spitting on the broken bed post.

>You finish your triple S and need nourishment. You had grown fatigued after trying to fight the water in the shower for being too cold.

"Ain't nothin' fuckin' with me!" You say making your way downstairs.

>You grab a bowl of cereal and begin munching down on the sugary goodness.

>Suddenly there's a knock interrupting your kick-ass meal.

"It better not be who I think it be." You say with bad grammar.

>You open up the door and sigh heavily.

"It be."

>"H-hello my love."

>You have no patience for this mare.

"What do you want Fluttershy."

>"What I want every day. Your dick and love." She says smiling.

"You shall get neither." You say closing the door.

>She puts her hoof in front of the door before you can fully close it.

>"No. You're going to love me, I'm not letting you get away."

"Yeah? And what are you going to do."

> Suddenly Fluttershy punches you and you're sent flying back into the wall.

"What. The. Fuck." You say through gritted teeth trying to fight back the pain.

>"I'm getting what I want." She says approaching you.

"Like hell!" You say springing to your feet.

>You charge at Fluttershy and double tornado kick her in the chest.

"Hell yeah!" you say landing on both feet.

>Your victory is cut short when Fluttershy rams into your stomach, knocking the wind out of you.

>She pins you on your back.

>"Now I have you."

>She tries kissing you, but you move your face out of the way.

>You kick your legs up sending her off you.

>You get up.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

>You start yelling at the top of your lungs.

>Your booming voice begins to shake the entire house.

>Suddenly you feel even more powerful and a blue aura begins forming around you.

>Fluttershy takes notice of this and does the same.

>A green aura develops around her.

_______________

>15 minutes later.

_______________

>You and Fluttershy are still yelling.

>Then at the same time you both begin charging at each other.

  >When you meet in the middle it's like a freaking Jackie Chan movie.

>You both are furiously throwing kicks and punches.

>Both are blocking the attacks and returning their own.

>This continues for 3 more minutes until Fluttershy kicks you in the face.

>Your down on the ground, you're hurt.

>You don't know if you can keep fight.

>Fluttershy begins walking towards you.

"I-is this really the end?"

>You passout.

>You wake up, or so you thought.

>You're in a white void.

"Am I dead?"

>"You're anything but."

>You turn around to see the face behind the voice.

"Grandma!?"

>You run up to hug her.

>She smacks you.

>"What the fuck are you doing? Letting some yellow slut kick your ass."

>Your taken aback by her words.

"I-i'm sorry Grandma."

>"Don't you apologize, I should be the one saying sorry."

"Why?"

>"I didn't mean to raise you to become a pussy."

"Grandma?"

>"What? Oh sorry my hearing aide doesn't pick up pussy talk."

"I ain't no pussy!"

>"Then prove it, bitch."

"I will you old whore."

>"Big talk for a man with a little penis."

"I told you. I'm a grower not a show-er."

>"Whatever pussy."

"You always do this."

>There is silence.

>You and your Grandmother break out laughing.

"I miss you Grandma."

>"I know you do sunny, but do me a favor."

"What's that?"

>"Knock that bitch out."

>Your brought back to reality.

>Fluttershy is stand over you.

>"Finally my prize." She says smiling and grinding on your crotch.

"Not today."

>You hop up off the ground and begin beating the shit out of Fluttershy.

>She tries to block but can't.

>You keep kicking and punching her.

>The blue aura comes back, but this time brighter and only surrounds your fist.

"I love you granny."

>Right when you say that you launch your fist right into Fluttershy's face.

>"CRITICAL HIT!" A voice from nowhere yells.

>Fluttershy flies through the wall of your house and doesn't stop until she twinkles in the sky, team rocket style.

"Finally. I can rest." You say slumping over to the couch.

>Today was alright.

END