- >Equestria day 43
- >Going on /mlp/ now
- ---------------------
- >>Wake up
- >>Feel nothing like P.Diddy
- >>Not that you would know, you dont know any P.Diddy
- >>You wish you had your booze last night to drown yourself in
- >>Open your eyes
- >>No sunlight in sight
- >>A first, you dont have curtains or anything around here
- >>Look out your window
- >>Snow pilled high on your house
- >>Winter here must be a bitch
- >>You unlock the front door, and, against your greatest judgement
- >>Open it
- >>A giant wall of snow is blocking your way
- >>Fuck, this was going to be fun
- >>As you look at the snow wall, it doesn't budge or fall into your house
- >>Nice of it to do so
- >>But you need out of your house, you have no happy water
- >>Start digging through the snow
- >>Your making a nice tunnel to your house
- >>You tunnel your way out the back, and fall flat on your face
- >>Get up and mumble to yourself to find the town plowed of snow
- >>The fuck
- >>They didn't even THINK of removing your place of snow
- >>Not even one fuckwit thought of it
- >>Well, now you have a bad ass tunnel to your house that nobody else has
- >> +1 swag
- >>You finally notice that all the ponys are staring at you
- >>They expected to snow you in and have you freeze to death or something
- >>Not while you still had a life worth living
- >>A life full of enjoyment, sunshine, and Rainbow Dash
- >>Damn, time to find someone that sells happy water and then some food
- >>After that, you'll head back home and formulate a plan to win your friends back
- >>Or in their case, win over
- >>But whatever, you spy a bar across the street
- >>You walk in, everything stops
- >>Barkeep about drops a bottle mid-pour
- >>But they all resume like you never came in
- >>But now they're talking quieter than before
- >>Come on you guys, at least dont make it obvious that they dont like you
- >>"What'll you have?"
- >>You have to think about that for a moment
- "Twenty bottles of Applejack Danials."
- >>The barkeep looks at you strange then places a box of 20 on the counter
- >>"Thats 210 bits pal."
- >>A little less than you thought, but fuck it
- >>If being an alien gets you discounts your all for it
- >>You pay the man and take the crate with you
- >>On your way you see someone go through your snow tunnel to your house
- >>ohfuckno.png
- >>You carry the crate to your house, but whoever went there is gone
- >>Probably inside your house, they didn't tunnel around as you can see
- >>You kick open your door and set the case of booze next to the couch
- "Ok, who's in here dammit?"
- >>Like you really need to ask that
- >>Only one other pony has the other key for this door
- >>Your ex-friend Rainbow Dash
- >>As much as you enjoy the company, she's got five seconds
- >>Look up the stairs
- >>Your room door has been opened
- >>FUCK NO
- >>You race your ass up those stairs
- >>She's just coming out of the room when you tackle her ass to the ground
- >>Everything that was once in there is all over the floor now
- >>Now you have half a mind to slap a bitch
- >>That stuff was ALL you had left of your past
- "And what the FUCK were you doing in there?"
- >>Taking the booze was ok
- >>Taking the movies was ok
- >>Taking those from that room
- >>Your jimmies just went from zero to max rustle in less than a second
- >>"Ugh, was getting back the rest of my stuff."
- "Its not your stuff, its Bolts stuff. It stays in there."
- >>You can tell she doesn't believe you, or care for that matter
- >>"Im still taking it with me. Bolt would understand."
- >>And he does, but you wont ever know that
- >>But you shake your head
- "Consider it his room. Im not touching it."
- >>She looks at you differently for once
- >>"Promise?"
- >>Like you could even fit in there comfortably
- "Pinkie promise."
- >>You do the traditional Pinkie promise ritual
- >>But Dash looks at you bewildered
- >>"H-how did you learn that?"
- >>Does it really matter how, just that you meant it
- "Not allowed to break a Pinkie promise. That enough for ya?"
- >>She seems a bit satisfied
- >>Enough to put everything back in your room and shut the door on it
- >>"Your not going in there ever right?"
- "What part of Pinkie promise dont you understand?"
- >>You lock the door and put the key back in its secret place behind the door trim
- >>Dash lets herself out of the house again, not before eyeing the crate of Applejack daniels
- >>You decide its about time to change the lock on the door
- >>Well, food situation first
- >>You lock the door again on your way out as you head to the market
- >>Since ponys dont eat any meat, your on a terrible vegan diet now
- >>Boy was your body going to hate you
- >>Like an elf to the extreme
- >>
- >>
- >>A few minutes of food shopping and your back home with a new stock of food and Applejack daniels
- >>Thank god for that spare bag of bits
- >>Now your chillin on your couch with some happy water
- >>Time to do some drunken thinking
- >>How to win back your friends trust given your new body
- >>What do you have to do, save some fillys from near death or something
- >>Without your wings, that would be nice and hard
- >>Well, you could try and win your friends back somehow
- >>They dont trust you
- >>They think your some monster
- >>Celestia, just kill me now
- >>Lost in your own drunken thought you swear you can hear a knock at your door
- >>Probably your imagination
- >>Another drink of your bottle
- >>Thats your 5th one for now, save the rest for tonight you guess
- >>Another knock on the door
- >>You cant be imagining it now
- >>Fucking people wont let you think in peace and quiet
- >>Open the door
- >>On your back already
- >>What in Equestria did you do dammit
- >>In your drunken daze you can make out an orange pony standing over you
- >>"Well howdy there sugar'cube, thought I'd drop by an help ya settle in."
- >>Applejack?
- >>Oh sweet Celestia, what the hell did she mean by that
- >>You feel a tug at your shirt
- >>Is she doing...what you think she is
- >>Oh fuck no, at least not with her you wont
- >>You squirm underneath her might, but it doesn't work
- >>Now you know how Dash felt when you did this to her
- >>"Ah, ya look so helpless there Anon."
- >>Her head reaches down to kiss you
- >>Fuck, nononononono
- >>You rear your head back and when she gets close enough
- >>Smash your skull into hers
- >>Didn't expect that from you, she got dazed
- >>This has her let up on the pressure on your arms and you cant act soon enough
- >>Now you flip the tables and get her into a headlock
- >>"What in the hay Anon, Ah never knew ya liked it so rough."
- >>Enough of her shit, you chuck her out the door
- >>She sails clear out the snow tunnel and lands on her flank hard
- >>Slam the door shut and lock it even tighter
- >>Fucks sake Celestia
- >>That had better have been you that did that
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