FlutterPasta

>Day pineapple in Equestria

>It's that special time of day.

>A time of self reflection, meditation and self realization.

>That's right, it's time to...

>Take a crap.

>To some it may be silly, but for you it's the rare chance you have at getting some peace and quiet.

>Especially when you're being pestered by a banana pony who is always trying to guess your fetish.

>You lock the bathroom door and unbuckle your pants.

>The moment is nigh!

>Captain, General Shit is on his way!

>You drop your pants to the floor.

>Aye cannut 'old it fer much longer. She's at 'er limit!

>You take your seat on your white porcelain throne.

>There's a knock at your front door.

>. . .

>GODFUCKINGF#%^&$%#$%^$%&#^#$%&

>Pulling up your pants and trying to not look so cross you storm across the house and open the door.

>Lo and behold, it's fucking Fluttershy.

>Had you known it was her you wouldn't have answered.

"What is it now?! I've got better things I could be doing rather than play this stupid game with you."

>The meek little pony winces knowing she must have crossed the line.

>"I'm terribly sorry, I know you're usually having your private time about now but I always wanted to ask you something."

"Whatever it is, it can- wait, how do you know about my private time?"

>She smiles innocently. "I realized that maybe I was being too forceful with trying to get to know you. But I would like to start fresh, so how about dinner maybe? We can just talk and share stories. I promise no funny business or attempts at guessing your fetish."

>She seems genuine enough.

>But your gut had other things on its mind. You could feel the moment approaching again.

"Yeah, that sounds great, but now isn't a good time."

>Fluttershy looks ecstatic as her wings pop out. "Y-you really mean it?"

"Yes, now go away!"

>She was too busy skipping up and down and being all giddy to listen to you. "Then maybe for dessert we can bake some brownies!"

>Your gut pushes harder onto your bowels.

>You groan in distress.

>"Or some soft serve chocolate ice cream!"

>This had to be a cruel joke, you squirm in place trying to hold out.

>"Maybe some prune smoothies while sitting on a stool?"

>. . .

>You can't hold it any longer.

>"Anon, are you okay?"

"WHATEVER!COMEBACKATSIX!"

>You slam the door and run for the bathroom.

>Crisis adverted.

>Finally, some peace and relief.

>After your business was said and done, six o'clock eventually rolls around and there at the door knocking was Fluttershy wearing the biggest smile on her face.

>"Good evening, anon. What are we going to have for supper?"

>Crap, you hadn't thought this far ahead.

"I don't know. How about some...."

>You roll your eyes around until Fluttershy interjects.

>"Spaghetti would be nice, yes?"

>You pause and leer at her slightly.

"Yeah, that could be nice, I suppose."

>You grant her entry as you both set to make fresh pasta and sauce from scratch.

>Fluttershy would handle the sauce while you make the spaghetti.

>All the while you begin to warm up to her.

>She was actually nice to talk to when she wasn't being weird about guessing your fetishes.

>Almost like a sister, in a weird four-legged kind of way.

>She pulls out a red bottle from your pantry. "I didn't know you like red wine."

"Not often, but we can have that with our dinner if you want."

>Her eyes seem to glimmer at the notion.

>Before you knew it, dinner was served and you both enjoyed each others company.

>It was nice to sit and talk about normal things rather than having her guess your fetish.

>Wiping the corner of your mouth clean of sauce you pour yourself and Fluttershy another glass of wine.

>Too bad she can't hold her liquor, she was already acting a bit strange.

>At least she was still trying to be normal.

>"Anon, this was really nice. I should've just done this in the first place." She wavers a bit in her seat.

"This is the most I could ask for in this kind of relationship."

>A smirk runs across her face, she giggles under her breath.

"What's so funny?"

>Staggering out of her chair she makes her over to you. "The spaghetti is nice, but do you know what I'm really craving?"

>Here_we_go_again.jpg

>One wrong word and she's out of here.

>She gestures you to lean down to her.

>Cupping her hoof around your ear she whispers. "I could really go for some..."

>Then her voice drops down by a couple of octaves.

>"Ravioli ravioli, give me the formuoli..."

> ! ! !

>But how...?

>You grab Fluttershy by the pink hair and rip it off. Sure enough, it wasn't Fluttershy at all, it was a robot!

>Reaching to the back of your head you pull off your mask to reveal to long eye stalks glaring angrily at the intruder.

>A tiny one eye plankton pops out of the robot. "Krabs!"

"Plankton!"

>"KRABS!!"

"PLANKTON!"

>A window nearby explodes into glass and poking her head through was Rainbow Dash.

>With her grin a mile long she snickers. "Spongebob..."

>Both you and Plankton give a blank stare at the strange blue pegasus. Suddenly you feel cold metal grabbing at your crotch.

>You reel in pain as the robotic Fluttershy uses metal pincers to hold you in place.

>"Thought you could hide the secret formula on me, did you Krabs? There's only one place on that dump of a disguise where you would hide something like that."

>Fluttershy's robotic mouth starts to tug at your disguise.

"So that's why you were trying to guess this thing called a 'fetish', just so you can get into my pants."

>"That's right and know I'm going to run you out of business you old crustacean fool!"

>Fluttershy finally bumps into something hard. Plankton flashes a cheesy grin. "Is that a secret formula in your pants or are you just finally realizing that Fluttershy is best waifu?"

"A waifu what now?"

>The robot pony clenches her mouth on the glass bottle containing a slip of paper with the krabby patty forumla.

>The metal pincers wouldn't budge no matter how hard you squirm.

"Nooo! Spongebob, stop him!"

>The clumsy sponge tries to fit his way through the window. "I'm trying Mr. Krabs, but this suit is all sweaty and smells like someone ejaculated inside it."

>Plankton holds the glass bottle over his head triumphantly. "Gahahaha! Now to make my getaway!"

>Pressing a small button, a miniature rover plops out of Flutterbots rump and lands on the ground.

>Plankton hops in and fastens on a helmet and starts it up.

>Slowly the vehicle makes his way towards the door.

"Spongebob! Hurry!"  

>Plankton laughs once more. "Time to shift into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!"

>With another press of a button, the rover speeds up a little.

>Spongebob wasn't going to make it in time.

"Noooo! Not me forumla!"

>Suddenly the door swings open and stomping through was the real Fluttershy.

>One of her hooves comes crashing down on Plankton and his tiny vehicle.

>"NOOO-" *crunch*

>Almost sounded like a pop can getting squished.

>Fucking Planktonshy.