Flirty Belle 2

>Day 'Today will be a good day god damnit' in Equestria

>Today you're at one of Ponyville's fine dining restaurants.

>Looking over the menu, you sigh, doing your best to stay positive.

>It's not exactly easy.

>Shaking your head, you put down the menu.

>Why did you come here anyway? The only thing to eat is hay and flowers.

>Oh, and 'fries' made of a non-specified substance. Great.

>You're about to get out of your small and uncomfortable seat when you notice something in the other seat across from you.

>Slowly a pink and purple puff of fluff creeps up from the mushroom chair.

>Before long a smiling filly is in the seat across from you.

>This won't end well.

>"Hi, Anon!"

"...Hello, Sweetie Belle."

>The little pony reaches down, presumably into a bag at her feet. She pulls out...

>A banana. A really, really big banana.

>"Mm... I love bananas."

"...I'm sure you do. Why don't you go eat them over there?"

>You point over to another free table.

>The filly shakes her head. "Nah, I like it here. Besides... I wanted to talk."

"About?"

>"About last week." She looks down at the large, yellow fruit in her hooves.

>You cringe internally. Why now? Why not when there aren't a bunch of ponies listening in?

>Though, they'd obviously claim to the contrary.

>"I wanted to apologize for being so upfront about it. Demanding you ride me into the night like that was wrong, and definitely not what a lady is supposed to do."

>A few ponies glance over.

"...Okay. Apology accepted. Now, run along, before the FBI gets here."

>She blinks. "The... Eff bee eye? Uh..."

"Nevermind that. Just, shoo."

>"But aren't you lonely, eating here all by yourself? I figured now would be a perfect time for us to go on a date!"

>You stare down at her. Is this filly for real?

"Sweetie Belle, that is a terrible idea."

 

>"Why?"

"Because I don't /want/ to date you?"

>She flinches back. "Oh. Well... then we can just be two friends! Hanging out! That's okay, right?"

>Sweetie smiles at you with such intensity it might melt a lesser man's heart.

>"So, what are you getting?"

"...Nothing. I can't eat flowers."

>She gapes. "Y-You can't? That's horrible!"

>You open your mouth to tell her it's fine, only for her to toss her banana at you.

>It harmlessly bounces off your chest, landing on your table. "Here, you can have a banana!"

>There's a few snickers from the 'crowd.'

"...Thanks."

>She pulls out another banana from her bag.

>After a bit of fumbling with it, she manages to peel it down a bit.

>"D-Did I tell you how much I love bananas?"

"Yes."

>She blushes slightly. "I-I did? About how I love it when they're big... and hard... and um... hard?"

>You resist the urge to slam your face into the table.

>Sweetie lets out an overly exaggerated sigh. "But all the bananas in Ponyville are so small! And soft. And they go bad in a couple weeks..."

"That's... fruit for you."

>"Yeah..."

>She slowly licks the tip of her peeled banana, stuffing the top of it into her mouth.

>All the while her eyes are on you.

>The filly takes the banana out of her mouth, gasping slightly.

>"You know... Anon. I heard some places have special /pink/ bananas... Big, long, and full of delicious cream."

>She winks at you.

"...I think I'm going to go."

>"But Anon you haven't even had your banana! Surely you can spare a moment more."

>She pauses, winking at you once again. "For me?"

 

>You glance about. The other ponies here are just as, if not even more, creeped out as you are.

>After a moment, you reach down at the banana, taking a hold of it.

>And then stop when you feel something... wet and slimy coating it.

"...Sweetie Belle?"

>"Yes, Anon?"

>You drop the banana, hand shaking. No. No!

"I'm not doing this."

>Throwing your hands up in defeat, you stalk away.

>"W-Wait! It wasn't my juice! It was Apple Bloom's! I swear! Just taste it, you'll see"

"No! I'm done!"

>She reaches out to you. "I swear, it tastes like apples, not... um... bells! Anon!"

>By then you're already on your way home.

>There you immediately rush into the bathroom, finding Twilight and her 'friend' busy at play in the tub.

>Without a word you grab them, one after the other and toss them out, then switch the showers stream to the coldest possible.

>Getting in, you groan in agony as the filth rolls off of you.

"Never again! I'm never going outside every again!"

>You repeat your mantra over and over. Twilight just sort of stares, confused.

>Today was a 'great' day.