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Fetish-Shy: PaRappa the Rapper

By: Hamnonymous on Jun 12th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.57 KB  |  hits: 55  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day 353 in Equestria.
  2. >Knock knock
  3. >It's Fluttershy at the door, but she's up to something.
  4. >She's wearing some kind of karate outfit and balancing an onion on her head, all while dragging a boombox with her.
  5. >"Hi Anon, can you put this on please, it'll help with your fetish."
  6. >She hands you a red beanie.
  7. >Wait a second.
  8. >Boombox?
  9. >Red beanie hat?
  10. >Karate onion?
  11. >Where the hell would she even find out about something like that?
  12. >She hits the boombox and the music starts playing
  13. >Sigh, I can't believe she's doing this...
  14.  
  15. >"I-I hope you're ready for some ill rhymes"
  16.  
  17. ♫♫
  18.  
  19. >"Hump, thrust, it's all in your pants"
  20. >"If you wanna drop em, I'll give you a chance"
  21. >"So let me teach ya, I'm sure I'll please ya"
  22. >"Cause loves the subject and I'm your teacher"
  23.  
  24. "Hang on Fluttershy, what's the deal?"
  25. "You're here busting rhymes, but are you for real?"
  26. "These beats may be fresh, and your rhymes might be sick"
  27. "But I ain't gonna let ya get at my dick"
  28.  
  29. >"Oh but Anon, you're so funny"
  30. >"You can be my puppy dog, I'll be your Sunny"
  31. >"I can always guess your fetish, so have no fear"
  32. >"Oh, maybe it's something to do with my rear?"
  33.  
  34. "I don't think so Flutters, we've covered that"
  35. "It wasn't farting, face-sitting, diapers, or scat"
  36. "I don't know how many times we've been over this"
  37. "And while we're on the subject, no, it's not piss"
  38.  
  39. >"Just think though, we could do it for hours"
  40. >"With you bathing under my golden showers"
  41. >"But if you don't like that and you're mad"
  42. >"You could always spank me for being so bad"
  43.  
  44. "Whoa Fluttershy, not so fast"
  45. "I don't really want to paddle your ass"
  46. "I don't like whips and I don't like chains"
  47. "I don't get off on causing people pain"
  48.  
  49. >"Oh thanks Anon, now I see"
  50. >"You wanna be hurt instead of hurting me"
  51. >"I have cattle prods, whips, and hot wax"
  52. >"Now which one of these can I use on your sack?"
  53.  
  54. "Oh hell no, not at all"
  55. "Flutters you stay away from my balls"
  56. "I keep saying it, but you just can't see"
  57. "Ponies just don't do it for me"
  58.  
  59. >"Oh but I can dress up, will that do?"
  60. >"Maybe a fursuit is the fetish for you?"
  61. >"I have dragons, and minotaurs, and a griffon"
  62. >"Wait a second, does Gilda turn you on?"
  63.  
  64. "Come on Fluttershy, have you listened to a word?"
  65. "If I don't like ponies, why would I fuck a bird?"
  66. "I only like humans, but there's none here you see"
  67. "So I've been forced to take a vow of celibacy"
  68.  
  69. >"Oh but Anon it doesn't have to be that way"
  70. >"We'll get some liquor and drink those inhibitions away"
  71. >"We'll get some Applejack Daniels and we'll drink some more"
  72. >"Your clothes look nice but they'd look better on my floor"
  73.  
  74. "Cheesy pickup lines? Getting me drunk?"
  75. "Fluttershy those things will never get you my junk"
  76. "Besides I don't accept your food or drink no more"
  77. "Not since you drugged me that time before"
  78.  
  79. >"But come on Anon, that was so much fun"
  80. >"I even tied you up so that you couldn't run"
  81. >"And then I spanked you, and you were quiet as a mouse"
  82. >"In Mistress Fluttershy's domination house"
  83.  
  84. "But I didn't like that, oh no way"
  85. "That's why afterwards I stayed inside for days"
  86. "Despite what you think, or what you've got planned"
  87. "I don't have a fetish, I wish you'd understand"
  88.  
  89. >"Oh Anon, don't be silly"
  90. >"Maybe you'd like to go fiddle a filly?"
  91. >"I'll go get the Crusaders, I'm sure they'll do"
  92. >"They can get their Cutie marks in pleasing you"
  93.  
  94. "That's sick Flutters, what's wrong with you?"
  95. "Thinking I'd violate poor Scootaloo"
  96. "Same with Applebloom and Sweetiebelle, I say"
  97. "So pack up your fetishes and please go away"
  98.  
  99. >"You don't mean that Anon, oh can't you see"
  100. >"I only want to make you feel happy"
  101. >"So take off your clothes and we can go rut"
  102. >"If you want you can even put it in my butt"
  103.  
  104. "Fluttershy stop this, I can't take anymore"
  105. "I already said no to things with your backdoor"
  106. "The molestation ought to stop, the fetishes should end"
  107. "Can't you see I just want to be friends?"
  108.  
  109. >"Are you sure Anon, I'll pull out all the stops"
  110. >"I'll make you mine before this beat drops"
  111. >"I speak from the heart and my love is true"
  112. >"There isn't a fetish I wouldn't try for you"
  113.  
  114. "I gotta stop you Flutters, this isn't gonna work"
  115. "I don't mean to break your heart or act like a jerk"
  116. "I'm sorry Fluttershy, I've given you your shot"
  117. "But PaRappa the Rapper, my fetish it is not"
  118.  
  119.  
  120. >The music cuts out and Fluttershy flutters away looking disappointed.
  121. >"I'm sorry I bothered you today Anon."
  122. ...
  123. >That was actually kind of fun.
  124. >Realize this was the most fun you've had in months.
  125. >Honestly consider having sex with her just so she'll do this again.
  126. >Cry
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