Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)

(FR) Lyler vs The Flutterbat - One Shot (S4E6)

By: FlutterPriest on Dec 29th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 6.61 KB  |  hits: 72  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >You wake up in the dark of the night in the middle Ponyville.
  2. >Slowly you get to your feet and look around to get your bearings.
  3. >A shadow moves swiftly through the air.
  4. >Immediately you look around and guard yourself.
  5. >It looks like there is a forest about a mile to the west.
  6. >The shadow moves from rooftop to rooftop with blinding speed.
  7. >You slowly shuffle to the forest, refusing to turn your back to the flying beast.
  8. >It's stops on top of a house and stares down at you with red piercing eyes.
  9. >A shiver runs down your spine.
  10. >The forest is too far.
  11. >Looking around, you have to find a friend's house for refuge.
  12. >The creature leaps into the air and spreads it's massive wings in the light of the moon.
  13. >Massive bat wings.
  14. >On a mare's body.
  15. >She swoops down through the air and lands six feet in front of you.
  16. >The bright moonlight illuminates the features of the mare.
  17. >Long Pink hair
  18. >Yellow fur.
  19. >Butterflies on the butt.
  20. >Oh great.
  21. >Phew.
  22. >It's just Fluttershy.
  23. >Probably just looking for another fetish attempt.
  24. "Jeez Fluttershy. You really had me going there for a second."
  25. >She hisses at you loudly and you take a step backward.
  26. >You back slowly away from the beast in front of you.
  27. "Woah... uh.. are you okay girl?"
  28. >"I'm... soo.. hungry Anon."
  29. >She walks towards you and you quicken your pace.
  30. "Well maybe we can grab you some food... uh. Pinkie would probably open up Sugarcube for a snack if we asked... hehe."
  31. >"No Anon."
  32. >She continues to move forward towards you, licking her lips and eyes bearing down at you.
  33. >"I'm hungry... for you."
  34. >She leaps into the air towards you.
  35. >You jump to the side and take an all out sprint towards Lyra's house.
  36. >The yellow demon's wings flap loudly through the air behind you.
  37. >The door is just a few feet away.
  38. >Charging shoulder first, you smash the door open and close it behind you, hearing a loud thump slam into the door.
  39. >"Open the Doooor Anon..."
  40.  
  41. "Fuck off," you yell back proudly.
  42. >"Pretty pleease Anon? I'll make it worth your whiile..." she coos back at you.
  43. "How about 'no'? Yeah, I'm going to go with 'No'."
  44. >You quickly barricade the door and run upstairs.
  45. "LYRA! LYRA!"
  46. >You open up the door to Lyra's room and find it empty.
  47. >Oh great.
  48. >Now what?
  49. >"AAAANNNEEEERRRRNNNNN!"
  50. >Instantly you are forced to the ground by the force of a 60lb retarded horse.
  51. "Lyler. Get off me. I have way bigger issues to deal with right now."
  52. >You groan at your rotten luck.
  53. "Where is your sister?"
  54. >"SHES SLEEPENG WIT BERNBERN!"
  55. "Ugh. Alright. Fine."
  56. >You don't have time for this bullshit.
  57. >Time Turner's place isn't too far from here.
  58. >If you sneak out the front...
  59. >THE SENSITIVE EARS!
  60. "Lyler. There is candy in Lyra's Bathroom cabinet."
  61. >"CANDY!"
  62. >With the speed of 10 kenyans, Lyra speeds off to the bathroom.
  63. >You tip toe downstairs to avoid any distractions from Lyler.
  64. >Edging your way to the back door, you turn the handle slowly, then slam it with all your might.
  65. >A loud hiss rings out from the front and you sprint to the front door, hoping for a successful distraction.
  66. >Running out the front door, you see the yellow beast fly to the backyard.
  67. >YES!
  68. >Time Turner's place is right-OOMPH
  69. >"DAT WASNT CANDY. IT WAS BIRF CUNTROL."
  70. >"MAMA'S COMING ANON!"
  71. "FUCK!"
  72. >You try to push Lyler off of you, but she punches you in the nose and you begin to bleed.
  73. "LET ME GO!"
  74. >"SEY SURRY!"
  75. "IM SORRY JESUS CHRIST GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"
  76. >"alright ok."
  77. >She gets off of you and you run into the house and slam the door behind you.
  78. >"DAT WUZ CLOZ"
  79. "What? how?"
  80. >How do retards even work?
  81. >You run upstairs and kick open Time Turner's bedroom door.
  82. "Turner I need a -OH GOD!"
  83. >Time Turner and Derpy Look at you in shock as she is pegging him.
  84. >"Uh. One minute please." he replies to you.
  85. >You step outside and just about vomit.
  86. >He comes out into the hall.
  87. >"What do you need."
  88.  
  89. "Flashlight."
  90. >"Kitchen. Second drawer on the right."
  91. "Thanks. uh. go back to... that."
  92. >"Will do."
  93. >You head downstairs and Lyler is sniffing the door handle.
  94. >After staring at her for a moment, you shake your head and head into the kitchen, where there appears to be the remains of a romantic dinner.
  95. >You find the drawer and grab the flashlight.
  96. >> Recommended: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg3sWXJb98A
  97. >You go to raise your hands due to the item you've just found.
  98. >However, you forgot that pony houses are small.
  99. >You smash your hands right through the ceiling.
  100. >Shit.
  101. >Well now maybe you can disorient Flutterbat.
  102. >However, this does not mean you can defeat her in Mortal Kombat(tm).
  103. >You must secure a weapon.
  104. >Heading back into the living room, Lyler is hitting the door with her face in response to each knock that Flutterbat makes.
  105. "Lyler."
  106. >"MY FACE FEELS FUNNY!"
  107. "Stop."
  108. >"NO U"
  109. >She hits it even harder and falls over.
  110. >Well, that solved that.
  111. >Suddenly the answer is directly in front of you.
  112. >You have the strongest weapon of all.
  113. >The power of the retard.
  114. >Lyler the Vampony Smasher.
  115. >Grabbing her back hooves, she instantly straightens out like a massive baseball bat.
  116. >No.
  117. >Like a MIGHTY WARHAMMER.
  118. >+10 ATTACK.
  119. >Before you open up the door, you give yourself a pep talk.
  120. >One that boosts your confidence and raises your spirits.
  121. >You remember the words of your great brother Swift_M0nkey.
  122. >"Don't Die."
  123. >Busting through the door, you prepare for your epic war cry, but Lyler beats you to the cut.
  124. > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBhxIyT8Slg#t=23
  125. >A loud hiss fills the air.
  126.  
  127. >>Recommended Listening: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUEhj58FOk
  128. >The Flutterbat lands in front of you and charges.
  129. >You swing your retard back and prepare for a hard strike on the vampire.
  130. >Her sharp teeth are bared and her eyes glisten with bloodlust.
  131. >Swinging the retard with all your might you make a direct hit on the bat.
  132. >"WHEEEEEEE" screams Lyler.
  133. >Flutterbat swoops into the air and aims to come at you head on.
  134. "Alright. I want you to headbutt her Lyler."
  135. >"OKAAAAY"
  136. >You swing the mint green pony around in the air like a lasso and toss her at the yellow winged menace.
  137. >She spins around in the air and lines her ass up with Fluttershy's face.
  138. >Before the red eyed batpony can stop her head is forced into Lyler's butt.
  139. >"AMAZING WIN!"
  140. >The ponycentipede falls to the ground and it's yellow half squirms in pain.
  141. >Lyler simply smiles.
  142. >You walk up to her with disappointment.
  143. "I wanted you to knock her unconscious, not scar her for life."
  144. >"CAN I SUCK YOUR PEEPEE?"
  145. >You stare at her for another moment.
  146. "You know. Nevermind. I'm going home."
  147. >Marching home, you watch the slowly arise on the horizon.
  148. >And so once again, the day has been saved. All thanks to
  149. >Fucking Lyler.