Anon, The New Assistant: A Humanized CYOA - Day 5

Welcome to Day 5 of Anon, The New Assistant! This is a Choose Your Own Adventure story following the life of Anonymous as he adjusts to life in his new town, Ponyville, and at his new job, as Twilight's library assistant. The story is written day by day, usually around 21:30-22:00. Choices will be made off of a vote for different options, and majority rules, unless I state otherwise. In the situation of a tie, I go with whichever option was voted for first. Feel free to vote for something other than provided, but I am ultimately the final judge of whether or not those options will be picked. Also, feel free to tell me to text someone, your contact list is in the pastebin.

 

Fat E.T.'s Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/u/Fat_ET

 

Message of the Day: Namefags Welcome!

 

And now, let the story begin!

 

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>*bzzt bzzt bzzt*

>Time to wake up again.

>But this bed

>SO

>FUCKING

>COMFY

>Get over it, Anon, you have to get up. Let's go!

>You work your way out of bed, arguing with yourself the whole way.

>You grab a towel and walk over to the bathroom, hopping in the shower.

>Halfway through your shower, you start thinking over the events of yesterday.

>Sure, Spike may be fucking autistic around women, but you aren't worried.

>After all, he only needs to impress Apple Bloom, and she's practically already his anyways.

>Of course, he's actually aware of the fact that she likes him now, which has the potential to transform him into Chef Boyardee around her

>...Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

>You shrug to yourself and figure everything will be alright.

>Your shower finishes up and you dry yourself off, then head over to your bedroom and throw on some clothes.

>How about jeans? and maybe... A gray T shirt?

>[spoiler]Incoming jeans and t shirt trend[/spoiler]

>You walk over to your kitchen and grab an apple to ward off any doctors. *Shudder* You fucking HATE doctors.

>You pull out your phone and check the time, and see that it is 7:30 AM.

>You also see that it is Friday the 13th today. You decide that you will stay on your guard all day.

>Just as you are about to put your phone back in your pocket, you feel it vibrate and see that you are getting called by Fluttershy.

>You accept the call and put the phone to your ear.

Anon: "Hey Fluttershy, what's up?"

>You hear a man with a Scottish accent on the over end, definitely not Fluttershy.

???: "It's all ogre now."

 

A. Ask who it is

B. Hang up

C. Throw your phone out the window

 

>You swallow your fear and muster up your most intimidating voice.

Anon: "Who is this? Where's Fluttershy?"

???: "Be ready."

>You hear a click on the other side and the call is over.

>That must have just been a prank call, what else could it be?

>Maybe Flutters and one of her friends planned this.

>Yeah...

>You try to shake the thoughts of the call out of your head, and begin your descent to ground level.

>You step out of the front door and begin your walk to work. It's noticeably cloudy today, but you don't worry about rain, besides, the weather is pretty nice.

>On your way to work, your thoughts go back to Spike.

>You know he will have the upper hand now, but you can't help but feel nervous for him anyways.

You figure you'll think of something, and you arrive at Twilight's Library.

 

A. Work with Spike

B. Work with Twilight

C. Work Alone

D. Dick around

 

>You open the front door and walk inside, getting straight to work for the day.

>Once you've gotten going, you go over to Spike to talk to him.

Anon: "Hey Spike, how are you doing?"

>He looks over at you startled, it seems he didn't see you come up.

Spike: "Oh, hey Anon! Sorry, you scared me, my mind is elsewhere right now."

>He's acting really nervous, it's a little concerning...

Anon: "You alright man? You seem really off today. Did something happen with you and Apple Bloom?"

Spike: "No, it's nothing like that, just something weird that happened this morning."

Anon: "Oh, okay. Hey, do you know if Fluttershy has any Scottish friends? I got this really strange call this morning."

>He doesn't respond right away, so you look over at him.

>His face is pale, and he is visibly shaking.

Anon: "Woah, Spike, you alright?"

Spike: "What'd you hear on that call?"

>You tell him about the phone call and everything, and his nerves don't calm at all.

Spike: "Something really similar happened to me, I'm kinda freaking out right now."

>You suggest that you both keep an eye out, this is getting kind of eerie.

>He agrees, and says you should trade numbers so you can call each other if you discover anything.

>Spike number acquired!

 

A. Take his mind off of the call (choose topic)

B. Talk more about the call

C. Go talk to Twilight

D. Go work alone

 

>You walk over to Twilight and see how she's doing.

Twilight: "Oh, I'm alright. Anything you need, Anon?"

Anon: "Oh, I was just wondering something. Did you happen to get a strange phone call this morning?"

Twilight: "What do you mean, strange?"

Anon: "Like, creepy sentences spoken through the phone by a Scottish man, even though the call is from one of your friend's numbers strange?"

>She looks at you with a raised eyebrow for a second, probably questioning your sanity.

Twilight: "...No, nothing like that..."

Anon: "Huh..."

>Well I guess it's not affecting her.

>That's good, Twilight always looks kinda stressed and she doesn't need these kinda problems on her conscience.

Twilight: "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

 

A. Reschedule date (you can suggest day and time or I can do I can do it, doesn't matter

B. Small talk

C. Leave conversation

 

Anon: "Actually, there is. I would love to cash in that rain check on our movie."

>This catches her attention; You can almost see her forget about your crazy questions.

Twilight: "Oh! Sure, when do you wanna go?"

>You take a second to think of a good time to go...

Anon: "How about now?"

Twilight: "Now?"

Anon: "Yea, now sounds good."

Twilight: "But... We're in the middle of working, shouldn't we finish up work?"

Anon: "All you ever do is work, Twilight. You need to loosen up a little. Besides, it's Friday! Let's have some fun!"

>She looks at you, clearly unsure about your idea.

Twilight: "I dunno..."

>You put your hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

Anon: "Look, I'll make up for it. tomorrow, I'll work overtime for free to make sure we aren't behind."

Twilight: "Well... okay, let's go."

Anon: "Sweet!"

>You lead Twilight out of the library and start making your way to the movie theater.

>You wonder how long it will take for Spike to realize everyone left. Oh well, he can handle himself, it's not like we ever work very hard anyways.

>When you are almost to the movie theater, you start thinking about something.

>Why the doesn't anybody own cars in this town? You haven't seen one your whole time here.

>Whatever, you guys arrive at the theater and look at what you can see.

Anon: "We should see..."

 

A. Horror

B. Romantic Comedy

C. Action Movie bitch!

D. Twilight's choice

E. Other (You decide)

 

Anon: "...whatever you want to see."

>She looks up at the sign with the list of movies on it.

Twilight: "Hmmm... How about "Romantic Comedy?"

>Fuckin' called it.

Anon: "Sure, that sounds great!"

>You two get tickets to go see the romantic comedy and head inside.

Anon: "You go find us a seat, I'll grab popcorn and drinks."

>She nods and heads off to the theater to grab seats.

>You go up and grab popcorn and drinks, then head off to find Twilight.

>You sit down to the right of her and get situated, making small talk while you wait for the movie to start.

>While waiting, you smell an awful stench from the row behind you, but Twilight doesn't seem to notice.

>The movie is getting started, the opening scenes explaining the back story.

Suddenly, you hear whispering of the most Scottish nature in your right ear.

???: "I'm going to peel you layer by layer like an onion..."

 

A. Freak the fuck out

B. Ignore

 

>What the fuck does that even mean?

>You recognize the Scottish voice, the same as the one from this morning, but you aren't going to let it affect you and Twilight's date.

>This movie is so fucking corny.

>Twilight seems to be enjoying it enough though.

>You look over at her and study her features some more since she won't catch you staring.

>She's sitting in a purple skirt with her legs crossed, slowly moving her right leg back and forth. Her petite body is lit by the light of the movie. Everything about her is so small, you feel like you could just pick her up and carry her around in your pocket. The shirt she's wearing clings to her chest lightly. Her thighs are slightly exposed from the position she's sitting in, and her head is leaning slightly to the side. You can't help but notice how great she looks right now.

 

A. Make a move

B. Watch movie

C. Sleep

 

>You consider making a move on Twilight. After all, what harm could be done?

>Besides the fact that she's your boss and could fire you.

>Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

>Meh, fuck it.

>You yawn overly loudly to get your point across, and start to move your arm over her shoulder.

>You can see her look over at you unsteadily, but you pretend not to notice and refuse to back down.

>As you finish placing your arm around her, she squirms the slightest bit, probably uncomfortably.

>Shit, is this a bad move? Or is she just nervous or something?

 

A. Abandon Operation Purple Smart Waifu

B. Continue Operation Purple Smart Waifu

 

>You suddenly become increasingly aware of just how uncomfortable she looks.

>Get the fuck out of there, Private!

>You slip your arm away not 20 seconds after it was around her.

>You both sit and avoid looking at each other for the rest of the movie.

>As the credits roll, you both throw away your trash and head out of the theater.

>You look over at her as you step outside under the cloud-ridden sky.

>You look over at her.

Anon: "So... that was a pretty good movie."

Twilight: "Yea... So, you uh, put your arm around me for a second back there."

>Ohfuckman

Anon: "Yea, I just misread some thoughts there..."

Twilight: "Ah. Well don't worry, I'm not upset."

>You both are getting closer to the library, and you thank the gods that this awkward walk is almost over.

Anon: "You aren't?"

Twilight: "Nope, I'm not. Do you know why, Anon?"

>You look at her and shrug.

Twilight: "Because you didn't misread back there. I was just nervous, I get so nervous around you sometimes... but now that that's in the open, I'm interested to see where you go from there. See you tomorrow, Anon."

>She smiles at you brightly, then turns and heads into the library.

>Well that... could have gone worse.

>Welp, you are done with work and stuff for the day, the time is now 2:30 PM.

>What do you want to do?

 

A. Call someone (Specify Person)

B. Wander

C. Other (Specify)

 

>Let's head over to Sugarcube Corner and talk to Pinkie. She seems like good waifu material. Not to mention she's got stunning [spoiler]cupcakes[/spoiler]

>You walk over to Sugarcube Corner, barely passing anybody along the way. Strange.

>You walk into Sugarcube Corner and wave at Pinkie.

Pinkie: "Well Hiya Anon! You come to see me for help with that ogre following you around?"

Anon: "What? Ogres? What the fuck are you talking about Pinkie?"

Pinkie: "There was an ogre creeping around behind you a minute ago. I think I can help. Has anything strange happened today?"

>You tell her about the phone call and the guy at the movies.

Pinkie: "Gee Anon, I wish I could tell you what to do, but it seems you're on your own with this one!"

Anon: "Pinkie, if you know what's going on, please just tell me."

>She laughs and shrugs at you.

Pinkie: "Sorry Anon, I have to follow the rules of Friday the 13th! You know how much bad luck it would bring me if I started revealing supernatural secrets?"

>You scratch your head confused. Clearly Pinkie knows something you don't, but you can't get past her crazy talk to figure it out.

>You ask her if she wants to hang out, but she is busy working, so you buy a cupcake and go on your way.

Pinkie: "Good luck with the ogre, Anon!"

>Whatever Pinkie, yah nutter

>You pull out your phone and try calling Fluttershy.

>The phone rings a few times in your ear, and then the call is picked up.

Fluttershy: "H-Hello?"

Anon: "Fluttershy, it's me, Anon."

Fluttershy: "Hello Anon, is there something you need?"

>You explain to her all the weird shit that's happened today.

Anon: "Do you have any idea what is going on?"

Flutters: "I have no idea, Anon... Are you safe?"

>You look around, realizing that you are standing alone outside.

Anon: "I'm alone right now, and not too far outside Sugarcube Corner. I think I'm gonna go somewhere for safety."

Flutters: "Good luck Anon, A-And you can come over to my cottage if you need someplace to go..."

 

Where to?

 

>Okay, you need to get to safety. You could be being watched and you... you uh...

>Fuck man. You really want a cupcake again.

>You walk back into Sugar cube Corner.

Anon: "Pinkie! I need a cupcakes! I'm so fucking hungry for cupcakes."

>Pinkie giggles and then walks into the kitchen.

Pinkie: "Kay, Anon! One second, this next batch is almost done."

>You walk over to the window and see that it's starting to rain outside. A few drops of rain hit the window and start rolling down the glass. Oh man, you never realized before how cool it looks when rain goes down the window.

>It's so interesting, the water just keeps on doing it's own thing... Oh man, that one drop just got the other! Hehe, that's pretty cool.

>All these streaks of water are on the window now, and the outside is blurred.

>What if outside always looked blurred like that? You sure are glad that isn't the case, because you like outside clear.

Pinkie: "ANON!"

Anon: "Wha? Oh, Pinkie! Thank god you're here, I need you to get me some cupcakes."

>Pinkies can't hold her laughter in and then tells you that you already told her.

Anon: "Oh, haha, my bad. Can I have the cupcakes now?"

>She hands you two more cupcakes and then has one for herself.

>You stare at your cupcakes for a second, taking in their beauty. Then, you force them into your mouth. Dear god, you've never tasted anything this good before.

Anon: "Oh man, Pinkie, you have to show me how to make these cupcakes..."

>She giggles some more, and you ask her what's so funny.

Pinkie: "Nothing, don't worry about it"

>She tells you that she's not sure she wants to reveal her secret recipe to you yet.

 

A. Push her to teach you how to make the cupcakes

B. Buy more cupcakes

C. Go walk in the rain

 

>You pester her to teach you how to make them some more.

Pinkie: "Okay, I'll show you, come on"

>She starts leading you to the kitchen.

Anon: "Wait, Pinkie? Can... Can I have one more of those cupcakes?"

>Pinkie starts laughing and gets you one more on the way back into the kitchen.

>As you go into the kitchen door, you look around and see tons of ingredients everywhere.

Pinkie: "Okay, well the most important part of my cupcakes is the secret ingredient."

>You nod while stuffing your mouth with another bite of cupcake.

Pinkie: "And my secret ingredient is something that may surprise you a bit."

She opens a door in the back of the kitchen and you look around in the room, spotting some UV lamps and a whole bunch of plants growing. Is that...

Pinkie: "This is where I home grow my secret ingredients!"

>She smiles and you look at her, the plants, and the cupcake in your hands, and you piece it together.

>[spoiler]yfw you realize you just got stoned[/spoiler]

Anon: "So let me get this straight... You sell pot cupcakes along with your normal cupcakes?"

Pinkie: "Yep!"

Anon: "...Does this have anything to do with the ogre?"

Pinkie: "Nope!"

>Huh, well that mystery still remains.

>But you don't really care right now.

>She proceeds to explain how you can make the cupcakes at home, and hands you a notecard with the steps written down for you.

 

A. Blaze it faggot

B. Leave

C. Hit on

D. Other

 

>You look at Pinkie, who is smiling back at you.

Anon: "You know, I'd feel rude if I just took your recipe without giving something back."

Pinkie: "Oh?"

>You put your hand on the small of her back and pull her body into yours, keeping a deep eye contact with her the whole time.

Pinkie: "Ohhhh..."

>Her smile changes from one of friendliness to one of lust.

>You place your hand on her neck and lean in, gently kissing her.

>She kisses back, clearly enjoying herself.

>You run a finger gently down her spine, the other hand playing with her hair.

Anon: "Is there another place we could take this?"

>She waves her finger, beckoning for you to follow.

>You follow behind her, noticing the clear exxageration in her hip movements.

>She leads you upstairs into her bedroom, and lays you down on her bed.

>Pinkie climbs on top of you, resting her hands on your chest while kissing you deeply.

>Your hands switch between exploring her legs and her breasts, and you gently tug on her lower lip.

>She coos in excitement, and you both remove your shirts and pants.

>You get back on the bed, now on top of Pinkie, feeling her up while you leave a trail of kisses down her torso.

>Her hands run through your hair, moaning and urging you to continue.

>As you are about to taste her delicate lower half, you hear a burly Scottish man shouting at you.

???: "Stay outta my swamp!"

>You jump up in surprise, and are bashed on the head, blacking out and falling over.

>[spoiler]Y'all niggas ain't getting it that easy.[/spoiler]

>You wake up on your couch with a raging headache and tons of questions.

>You check your phone and see that the time is 7 PM.

 

A. Call Pinkie

B. Call other (specify who)

C. Go visit someone (specify who

D. Curl up and cry like a babby

 

>You pick up your phone and go to your contacts.

>Let's see... Ah, here's Vinyl.

>You push the call button and hear ringing on the other side.

Vinyl: "Hello?"

Anon: "Hey Vinyl, are you home?"

>A loud, quick blast of dubstep answers your question.

Anon: "Okay, I'm coming over. I din't feel safe here and I need a place to stay."

>You hang up the phone and head out of your apartment, down a floor and knock on Vinyl's door.

>She opens up and you step inside.

Vinyl: "Okay, so what's going on?"

>You explain everything to her about what's happened today, and she stares silently at you.

>After you finish, she proceeds to lose her sides because of your story.

Vinyl: "Okay lemme see if you got this, you are being haunted by an ogre, you went on a date with Twilight, you got high with Pinkie, then you almost fucked Pinkie, but didn't because you were knocked out by said ogre, and now you're here?"

Anon: "Yep. What do you think?"

Vinyl: "I think you're full of shit, dude."

>She laughs some more before continuing.

Vinyl: "But if you wanna stay here anyways, that's cool with me."

Anon: "Thanks Vinyl, I appreciate it."

>You spend the rest of the night thinking over your day and listening to Vinyl's mixing.

>You never really figured out what was up with today, or the ogre, or anything, but you are glad it's over.

>Not to mention the fact that you are actually starting to make waifu progress, or at least progress to getting laid.

>Oh well, there isn't really anything more you can do for today, so you lay down on the couch and drift off to sleep.

 

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-End of Day 5

-Survived the Shrekoning

-Got high

-Pinkie and Twilight Relationship Level Increased!