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Purple and Proud

By: Eppy on Jan 4th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 10.04 KB  |  hits: 321  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Magichorn Is Worst Roommate on Earth
  2. >Be Twilight Sparkle
  3. >Find your spell misfired by a bit and you were taken to Anon's world instead of sending him back alone
  4. >You are sure you can find a way back by just reversing a few phrases in the magical algorithm, simple!
  5. A: And here I was doubting your magic for a moment, it's good to be back in my palace
  6. >You look around, the room is small enough to see end to end and the walls are stark white with small, patched holes here and there
  7. >The kitchen is only large enough for 3 humans, or 1 and a half ponies, maybe 5 fillies, to stand in comfortably, your exact math would confirm, but not right now
  8. TS: Uh, Anon, this kind of doesn't fit the definition of a "palace"
  9. >Anon looks sternly at you, or you imagine he would be looking sternly if not for the mask
  10. TS: You know, Anon, I never got to truly study you, what with all the time you spent living at Applejack's and flirting with Fluttershy
  11. A: I was never flirting with Fluttershy, I was... It was... Applejack makes some delicious food
  12. >You smirk at Anon's shy demeanor, no wonder Fluttershy was so smitten with him back in Equestria
  13. TS: I think this would be a perfect and appropriate time to thoroughly learn about you, Anon, as a human and in your natural habitat
  14. >You look at Anon with wide, observing eyes and a large smile plastered to your face
  15. A: You're kind of creeping me out, can't you observe me without... observing me?
  16. TS: That doesn't make any sense, Anon, how would I learn anything about you if I just walk away? Besides, I am not even sure where to go in your world. Oh, that reminds me, are unicorns readily popular in this part of your "Earth"?
  17. >Anon hangs his head for am moment in deep thought
  18. A: No
  19. TS: Ah, well, Ponyville was devoid of unicorns when I first arrived as well, I'll just use magic sparingly so as not to disturb somep0ny in town
  20. >Anon lets go a sigh and stumbles over to the bed you are laying on
  21. A: PurpleSmart...
  22. TS: Twilight Sparkle
  23. A: Sorry... MagicHorn, there is something you must understand about Earth...
  24. TS: Oh goody, my first lesson
  25. >You clap your hooves together and then lean your head intently towards Anon
  26. A: There are no pegasi, unicorns, alicorns, really anything you are used to back home
  27. TS: I... I am not quite sure what you mean?
  28. >Anon sighs a deep sigh and stands to his feet
  29. A: Come over to the window here and look out
  30. >You do as you are asked for the sake of your studies
  31. >You see a lot more people just like Anon, at least human, walking around wearing different color clothes and accessories, driving in fantastic automobiles, and generally going about a very normal routine
  32. A: See what I mean?
  33. TS: Well, of course this world would be populated by humans like yourself, Anon
  34. A: Yes, exactly, there are no other ponies like you here, you're special
  35. TS: All ponies are special, Anon
  36. >Anon crosses his arms and taps his foot
  37. A: I mean, more than the usual kind of special
  38. >You sit for a moment to let the thought sink in
  39. TS: But, you told me that humans have horses where you come from
  40. A: Yes and no... here, let me show you
  41. >You approach an impeccably clean desk with some strange machine resting on it
  42. >Anon explains how the master race will always place this item, the PC, on their desk beside a "monitor"
  43. >He would be the expert on this sort of thing
  44. >Anon reveals a long rectangle with letters and numbers on it and his hands begin moving across it with practiced grace
  45. TS: Amazing, so that is why you have multiple fingers instead of hooves, I get it now
  46. >You totally get it now
  47. >Anon tells you that this machine can find knowledge anywhere in the world in seconds
  48. >It sounds like no magic you've ever encountered
  49. TS: So, you're trying to tell me this machine is a library... and you never need to leave your home to find new books?
  50. A: Exactly, you can do anything with the internet! But be warned, "With great power comes great responsibility". Deadpool said that
  51. >You see before your very eyes that Anon has conjured up images of horses and videos of all manners of wonderful things
  52. >You heart begins to race
  53. >You feel your face getting warm and your breathing is irregular
  54. TS: A-anon, this... this magic y-your using is so intense. So much *pants* information
  55. >Anon looks at you curiously for a moment before going back to his conjuring
  56. >You are suddenly beset by videos of human-raised horses and your mind is recording at full speed
  57. >Human-raised horses need to be fed, cleaned and cared for in every way by humans. They don't talk, sing, dance, fly or practice any kind of magic from what you have seen
  58. TS: Oh, these poor pon-
  59. >Anon cuts you off before you can finish and strokes your mane
  60. A: Not ponies, just horses
  61. >You come to understand a great deal of the sadness Anon expressed to you in earlier encounters and it dawns on you
  62. TS: I'm sorry for you, Anon, that you live in this world that seems so downtrodden
  63. A: It's really not all bad... for humans... as it is...
  64. >No more words, only friendship now
  65. >You climb into Anon's lap and hug his torso
  66. >Anon returns the hug
  67. >You cannot stay this sad for long and quickly set out to discover more about humans and their world
  68. TS: Anon, I want to learn more about horse and human interaction
  69. A: You wha-?
  70. TS: Come on, this is important to me.
  71. A: Well, you could use my computer, I mean... I could do it with you, unless you can magic-up some hands
  72. >For a moment you think to yourself and decide that you can
  73. >Your horn sparkles for a moment, then a blaze of your magic erupts forth and gives you two, phantasmal hands with a scant amount of dexterity
  74. TS: Hmm, not as good as your hands, Anon. But, I am sure practicing with them will improve performance
  75. A: Well, that's a neat trick...
  76. >Anon explains how to use Google and you give it the old Canterlot try
  77. TS: Let me see, hmm, ah, I know! "Mare Human Video"
  78. >You type these three words into the search engine and press 'enter'
  79. A: Wait, Twily! Don't click the first thing you see!
  80. >It is too late for the warning
  81. >A video quickly loads on another screen called "Youtube"
  82. >It displays a human horse-breeder leading a stallion to a bound, young mare
  83. >You look on in abject silence as you watch the large stallion mount the helpless mare and fill her with his baby batter
  84. >The video stallion disengages his trophy in short order with an audible popping noise and a gush of his fluid spills from her beaten backside
  85. A: I warned you about the internet, bro! I told you, dawg!
  86. >Anon tells you to shut it off by pressing the 'X'
  87. >You find the key, press repeatedly, but to no avail
  88. >In your panic you hit the number '4'
  89. >It repeats the scene
  90. TS: It keeps happening!
  91. >You give up and cover your face with your hooves
  92. >You still hear the sound of the mare giving in to to her most base desires and the triumphant neigh of the stallion
  93. >Anon quickly grabs the mouse from you and exits the screen
  94. A: Ok, so there's a lot of information on the internet, you got to know how to separate it from...
  95. >Anon stops talking as you shake in his lap
  96. >Despite your best efforts, you lose control of yourself and a little wetness has run down your leg
  97. >It puddles in Anon's lap as you shake lightly
  98. A: This... uh... this never happened, agreed?
  99. TS: A-agreed
  100. >You try to climb down from Anon without an incident, but still splash your mare-hood juices on him
  101. >Anon reeks of your mutual shame and you hide your blush-ridden face
  102. >You attempt to find the furthest corner to lay down in
  103. A: TwiBright, it's OK, I can just... wash the pants! I have three other identical pairs
  104. TS: I d-don't know what h-happened. I told my m-mind to override t-the hormonal response, but i-it just wouldn't listen
  105. >You hold back tears of shame as you try to avoid Anon
  106. A: Don't worry, I had this happened before. Things happen like this all the time, probably, maybe
  107. >Anon's inaccurate use of the terms "probably" makes you choke out a small laugh through a few tears
  108. A: Besides, it's not like anything weird's gonna happen between us and cause all this time spent as friends to bloom into being lovers and make us realize how much time we wasted avoiding the subject. I'm sure!
  109. >Anon's logical and well stated scenario helps you hold back your fears about losing his friendship
  110. TS: Thank you, Anon, that helps a lot
  111. A: Don't worry about it, it's nothing, just stay there for a moment while I change
  112. >You sniffle a bit and turn to look at him
  113. TS: Change into what?
  114. >His pants are off and he has a smaller pair of pants on that are white and speckled with red dots
  115. TS: Pants under your pants? Very clever, Anon
  116. A: Hey! Don't look now! I'm getting dressed!
  117. >You realize you caught Anon in a vulnerable state, nearly as vulnerable as you were
  118. >You turn around and try to take your mind off the video
  119. >Testing, just got to test, got that test-itch from not testing
  120. >Anon will make an excellent test subject for study
  121. >You sit a still as you can and try to focus
  122. TS: Anon, take a letter
  123. >You hear a zipping noise, a clasping ring and see Anon walking back towards you
  124. A: Take a what now?
  125. TS: Oh, that's right... my assistant is back in Equestria
  126. A: If you need to write something down, you can type it up on the compu-
  127. >You shake your head hard and wave your front hooves
  128. TS: No! No, haha, I will let the computer rest for a little
  129. >You try to smile and play it off
  130. >Very smooth, Princess Sparkle
  131. >You stand up and begin to search Anon's home for parchment and quills
  132. A: Can I help you?
  133. TS: Where do you keep your ink pots? I need to write down a list of questions to better record all this data
  134. A: I... uh... well, how about a ball-point?
  135. TS: A 'ball' point? How do you have a spherical point?
  136. A: Very carefully
  137. >Anon brandishes a writing instrument for you and a small, yellow notepad with evenly spaced lines
  138. >He removes a cap on the top with his teeth
  139. >You rub your chin and scrutinize
  140. TS: Why would you use your teeth when you have hands?
  141. A: Because... I... I don't know, actually
  142. >You grab the ball-point quill with your magic and set to creating a well-planned list
  143. TS: Thank you, Anon, you're help in all things human is most appreciated!
  144. >Anon leaves you to write and goes back to his computer
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