In My Own Words

>Day Stranger in a Strange Land in Equestria

>Be Noteworthy the Columnist

>Today's the day!

>You are finally going to meet your pen-pal

>You've been writing to them for six months now, give or a take a day, and have been waiting for this moment since the lottery began last week

>The silver ticket looks perfect on your desk as you mull over a few pieces of identification

>Some of these pictures kind of make you look fat, but a passport is a passport

>You really hate how your mane came out in this one and your horn looks crooked

>Regardless, you know how good you really look in pony

>You gather up your ID and grab your favorite quill

>It sits neatly behind your ear and you pose it a bit

>You want to look good, first impressions are everything!

>A written list lies casually on your desk and you check it over

"Quill? Check! Boarding pass? Check! Checklist for checking check-offs? Double check!"

>You smile at your neatly written scroll before wrapping it up and storing it in your saddlebag

>Everything you think you will need on Earth sits neatly at the bottom before you heft it onto you back with your magic

>The final item you snag is the picture of your human friend from your mirror

>You speak rapidly to the small portrait

"Today, Anonymous! We'll meet in the flesh and we'll have tons of stories to share! I know it!"

>You tuck the picture in your saddlebag and trot happily from your home

>The trip around town sees you off to a good start and you make it to the train station relatively quickly

>You see a good line of ponies ahead of you and let out a frustrated sigh

"Easy, Noteworthy... lines happen. Anon has waited this long..."

>The line moves forward slowly and you find yourself thinking aloud

"Jeez, you'd think -we- pay enough tax to hire another clerk, right?"

>The line shifts uncomfortably around you while you try to make somep0ny engage in conversation

>A small noise appears from behind you and you turn your head to see

>Another light pink mare with a blue mane chuckles lightly

>"It seems worse than it is."

>Happy to have somep0ny to talk to, you press on for more

"I suppose you're right... name's Noteworthy, by the way. Maybe you've seen my column in the press?"

>You smile a bit too wide and the mare before you backs up

>"Oh... um, I think so?"

"It's the column on the human world, Earth? I'm going there -today- to actually meet real live humans! What about you, Hun?"

>"I'm just heading out back to Mustangia. Been on vacation here in Ponyville."

>You've never met a true Mustangia native before

>Better write this down

"Wow, great to hear it! Tell me, in your own words, what did you enjoy most about Ponyville?!"

>"Uh, uhm... is this like an interview?"

>You brandish a roll of paper and your quill

"It is now! What's your name?"

>"M-my name's B-Bumble Bee..."

"Like the bug of the same name?"

>"Y-yes..."

>The mare ducks down a bit as if embarrassed, but you assure her it's fine to be named after weird things

>Unless you are also weird, of course, then it's just -plain- weird!

"So, tell me, BB, mind if I call you BB? What was your favorite thing around Ponyville?"

>You drill her for this story for a short while until you find yourself nearing the front desk

"What a scoop! Not going to be seeing my editor for a few days, but don't you worry! When I do run this story, Mustangians will be beating down our doors!"

>Bumble Bee looks to you and jitters a bit

>She seems a little nervous and makes this low humming sound to steady herself

>You'd bet that's why they called her, "Bumble Bee!"

>"T-thanks?"

>You wrap your hoof over her shoulder and use your other hoof to display the sheer grandness of the story

"No, no, thank you! I got to split now, you stay charming, alright?"

>You shoot her a wink and click your tongue against your teeth before stepping up to the counter

>A grey mane stallion looks down at you with mild enthusiasm and begins in a dull tone

>"ID and tickets, please..."

>You whip them out of your saddlebag with great flair and place them on her desk

"I'll be heading out to the -human- world. Yep, just casually going to explore uncharted waters, is all. I mean, it's not like the paper's going to write itself, right?"

>A laugh bursts from you at the absurdity of the last comment, but it seems the desk worker doesn't share in the amusement

>Her loss, you think, as she passes you back your tickets

>"Alright, Ms., you'll be taking the 71-A to loading ramp C. Thank you for choosing Ponyville Express, we're the trains always run on time™..."

>You snatch up your belongings and wave

>In the train's defense, it does arrive at exactly 8 AM and you smile again to yourself

"Here we go..."

>You board and deposit your belongs at your hooves

>It feels nice to just sit for a moment, but you find you are alone in your isle

>No matter, either somep0ny will sit nearby soon or you'll just get to take in the breath-taking view of the countryside

>No pony sits by you as the train begins to move

>You resign yourself to a boring train ride after all and stare longingly at the bench on the other side of your own

>A nice couple and their little filly are bunched up and you try to eavesdrop, just for curiosity's sake

>Turns out they are going to the human world as well to visit a relative

>You've had flimsier excuses to speak before!

>You get out of your seat and slowly stroll towards the group before stopping in front of the father

"Hmm, what?"

>Everyp0ny stops to look up at you

"Oh, excuse me! Sorry, I thought you asked me if I was going to the human world too."

>The mother takes the bait and you smirk easily

>"Oh, deary, sorry if we were too loud. Just going to visit family in the city and I guess we're a tad excited, don'cha know?"

>You chuckle with her

"Oh, I do know! First time going there myself. But, it is just what us reporters do."

>You pose valiantly as if your job took you to the edges of Equestria before this

>"Oh, look, John, a reporter. Isn't that interesting?"

>The stallion looks you over once and scoffs

>"Good for you..."

"Say, have you been to this city before?"

>"Oh my, yes! We go every holiday to visit the little dears living in the big, kooky human world."

>Jackpot...

>You take the open seat beside the filly and lean over towards the wife

"Mind cluing me into some of the more interesting places to go see? You are the -expert- after all!"

>She blushes and turns to her husband

>"Oh-ho-ho my goodness, expert? Oh, you're too kind. John, isn't she too kind?"

>"Too kind, dear..."

>The trip goes by much quicker now that you have somep0ny to talk with and you learn a great deal of things about humans

>Well, not too much more, but some interesting tidbits all the same!

>The train finally begins to slow and you look at the lovely family again

"By the by, the name's Noteworthy."

>"My name's Marsh Lilly, but everyp0ny just calls me Marsha. This here's Brickhouse, he's a carpenter, don'cha know? And this is our little angel, Abbey."

>You nod to each member of the quaint family and proudly hold your head up

"Great to meet you and I hope you have a lot of fun in your travels! When you get back to Ponyville, look for the papers for a special story by yours truly."

>The stallion speaks up with a sharply raised eyebrow

>"Thought you said your name was, 'Noteworthy?'"

>You want to indulge him, but there are places to be, ponies to see, humans to watch

>Instead, you turn and leave the train with a quick chuckle of goodwill

>You find the designated platform, letter C as you recall, and wait by it patiently

>There is a certain haste to this area, you can feel it

>Everyp0ny seems to be moving faster around here with a can-do attitude not normally seen in Ponyville

>A pegasi checking bags approaches you and speaks quickly

>"My name is Ms. Hatchet. ID, please."

>You flash your passport and smile to mimic the picture

>"Where are you going today, Ms. Noteworthy?"

"Human world, got a friend to visit."

>"Mhmm... OK, what are you taking there?"

"Some paper, ink, quills, myself. That kind of thing."

>"Place your bags on the conveyer belt and step over to the next checkpoint."

>The security is very tight in this area, something wholly new to you

>What could you possibly take to the human world that would cause trouble?

>A unicorn flashes his magic over your bag before nodding to move it back to you

>Another mare in a sharp looking uniform approaches you and hands you a letter

>"We had a report that you won the Equestria Transfer Lottery. We need you to sign this waiver."

"Sure, can you explain it to me?"

>"This waiver says that any harm you bring or harm brought upon you in the human world, henceforth know as EARTH, will have to be resolved under the jurisdiction of human law. In the event that you should be killed, eaten or otherwise disemboweled, we will pass our condolences to your next of kin."

>You grimace as the list seems to get more and more gruesome and a split-second of doubt crosses your mind

>You shake it off as the waiver continues

>"Now, your employer is informed that you are leaving and you will be back in time for work tomorrow..."

"Whoa, hey now! I already took a week off for this trip."

>"Yes, well, human time moves much faster than Equestrian time. Your week stay on Earth will be one day in Equestria. You should know this already..."

"That explains why he let me go so easily... I guess this is still fair."

>"We also will have you know that you are not allowed to report anything you see or hear on Earth."

"Now you're going too far! The ponies deserve to know!"

>"We never deserved to even enter their world... if you want to go, you need to follow the law nd accept the consequences as written herein. Do you accept?"

>Whoever this pony is, she is certainly not from Ponyville

>You don't think you've ever met such a rough pony in all your life!

>But, you already promised Anonymous and by Celestia, you keep a promise!

"I accept..."

>"Excellent... enjoy your stay and keep your head down..."

>She steps aside and you are lead through a weird showering room and some kind of steam bath

>The next moment is disorienting and you are not really sure what to think

>Before you is a massive, round metal gate with two uniformed unicorns standing at either side

>Ms. Hatchet appears at your side with unnatural grace and looks sternly at the other unicorns

>"Jetsam, Samson, look lively! We have another for transport."

>The two straighten up and their horns point at the portal

"So... There's like... another train, right?"

>A magic lifts through the air and suddenly, the guarding unicorns blast the metal ring

>It comes to life with a whirring sound that nearly deafens you

>Ms. Hatchet screams to you as the machine rotates faster

>"Make haste, Ms. Noteworthy! The Portal will only stay open for minute before needing a recharge!"

>You gulp down all the fear you've been driven into since entering platform C and slowly trot towards the magic gate

>Ms. hatchet yells to you once more

>"Step lively! We haven't got all day and neither do you!"

>You hold your breath and throw yourself into the green vortex

>Everything slows down suddenly

>You cannot hear anything now and the whole world outside the portal looks grey

"Um, excuse me, something went wrong?"

>The guard's are frozen in their stand and even Ms. Hatchet looks colder than you first seen

>A stretching sensation tugs at your skin and tail and your eardrums pop

>The world suddenly disappears around you and you get the feeling that you are not alone

>After what feels like hours, you see a light in the distance

>You watch the small ball sit on the horizon for another few moments

>It explodes into a line, forming a horizon and the world above and below takes on form

>You really hate magical travel for this very reason

>Sound returns, time resumes its normal pacing and you find yourself standing somewhere absolutely terrifying

 

>Day Easily Disoriented on Earth

>All around you is white tile

>The walls, floors and even ceiling are all stark white

>You look around the strange landscape and find a good mixture of pony and human faces making up the place

>As you step from the portal, you are approached by a pony and human duo who are dressed alike

>They both have black suits, black shoes, some odd coil in their ears, and dark sunglasses on

>It is kind of disturbing considering you are inside and the light is not particularly bright

>"Ah, ten seconds, my win, Mr. D."

>The human looks down at the pony and hands her a green sheet of paper

>"I'll get you next time, Ms. T."

>"You underestimate pony equilibrium. We are surprising quick on our feet."

>The two stop bickering long enough to call to you

>Mr. D. is the first one to speak with you

>"Welcome to Earth, Ms. Noteworthy. Good to see you made it in one piece. We want to welcome you on behalf of the United States of America."

"Is... is that the name of this town?"

>"Country, actually... this state is New York and the city is... New York City."

>Ms. T. smiles under her shades and looks to you

>"Welcome to Earth, kiddo. Who is your contact?"

>You stare vacantly for a moment

"Oh, um, Anonymous... his name is Anonymous."

>They look to each other before Mr. D. holds his ear with the coil in it

>"Alright, send in the loud one."

>You stand around in a stupor for a few moments until you see the face of your pen pal enter the room

>You get a little choked up that you finally get to meet him in real life

>It doesn't hurt that he is the only familiar thing in the room

"Anon! Hey! It's me!"

>"Note, good to see you! How was the trip?"

"Not half bad."

>Your friend is dressed in a suit not unlike Mr. D. and you wonder if this is just common in humans

>Hopefully, you won't end up in one of them for the rest of your vacation

>"Alright, well, it was an interesting shakedown everyone, but I think it's time I get going."

>Ms. T. speaks frankly to Anon as you two begin to leave

>"Take care of her or we'll be seeing you sooner than you'd appreciate."

>"Please, as if I were anything -but- hospitable!"

>Everyp0ny and person so far seems loud and in each other's face

>You kind of like it

>Walking beside Anonymous for the first time makes this whole trip more surreal

>He is quiet until you get out of the building

>You step out into the light and take in the Earth for the moment

>It looks... like Manehatten!

>That is sort of disheartening that it wasn't slightly more alien than is sounded

"So... um, Anon... it's nice to see you for the first time. You know, other than your picture."

>"Likewise. How's everything?"

"Oh, it's pretty intense! I can't wait to write-!"

>You cut yourself short when you realize you can't report anything

>"Write what?"

"Ah, it's nothing... I am not allowed to report news here."

>You sulk a bit before Anon begins

>"Hey, don't worry about working. This is your vacation, right? Lets go have some fun instead."

>You like fun, maybe you'd go so far as to say you -love- fun

>Anon begins to walk off to a nearby metallic chariot humans something use

>It looks really nice

>"Alright, want to sit shotgun?"

"Sit where now?"

>He chuckles a bit and opens a door

>"Get it, you nut."

>You hop up to a soft seat and recline back

>Anonymous reaches for a black belt and straps you in carefully

>His hands feel nice on your belly, but the belt is kind of tight

>"Safety first, Note. Also, I don't want a ticket."

>You shrug and just go with it

>He finally gets in on his side and turns a little metal key

>The sound of a hundred angry bulls suddenly lifts up and you scream in a journalistic way

>"Are you OK? What happened?!"

"Oh, that's the thing... that's making the noise?"

>"Yes, this car needs a tune-up..."

>Needs more than that, you think

>His hands and feet are everywhere as he drives

>Pushing buttons, pressing pedals, yelling at other cars with thick mouthfuls of slang

>Driving seems exhausting!

>"So, tell me. You hungry?"

>You nod slightly as you look out the window at the streets passing by

>So many lights and people and even ponies are littering the streets

>They even have litter littering the street and it fascinates you to see that

>"What do you feel like?"

"Oh, um, I don't know... what do you have here?"

>"Freakin' everything. You name it, I'll take you."

>Having all the choice in the world feels like having no choice at all

"How about... um, something fun?"

>"You know what pizza is?"

>You finally find something to relate to and you are going to make the most of this

"Do I ever! I've eaten at the best pizzerias in Equestria before!"

>"Great, what do you like on it?"

"Um, mushrooms... if you have those here?"

>He laughs and smiles to you while stopping the car

>"We invented mushrooms!"

>You are happy to hear that as the car starts moving again

"Hey, Anon, why do we keep stopping and going?"

>"Traffic... and people don't know how to drive at all."

"Too slow, huh?"

>"Yep, you're sharp as ever. Sorry if I am being so quiet. This is just new to me."

"Hah, well, yeah, pretty new for me too! I know you humans are tall, but I never realized just how tall."

>"I work with ponies at my job, so you look just about right. You're mane's way nicer than them though."

>The compliment catches you off guard and you lose your voice for the moment

>You swallow hard and look back to him

"Ha, yeah, y-you too!"

>"Was it hard getting here? I heard that you guys have to jump through all kinds of hoops?"

"I'll say, especially the last, big metal hoop!"

>He blinks at you and you try to reason it

"Yeah, it's like this big metal hoop... and I had to jump through it, like literally, jump!"

>He smirks a bit at you and you feel your face grow hot with blush

>Quick, change the subject!

"Y-you sound just like I thought you would."

>"You're way louder than most ponies I've met. Sometimes, you can't even understand what they're saying."

"Don't I know it!"

>You stop once more, but this time, the angry car turns off and the air is still

>Your body is still shaking though as you step from the car

>"This is Mario's... best slice in the city. They don't mind ponies too much."

>Why would any humans mind ponies?

>You step in and hear a jingle before looking around

>Everyp0ny inside is not a pony at all!

>It feels weird to you, kind of heavy, but you make your way inside

>The store is small, not as small as some places in Ponyville, but still small

>"Hey, Mario!"

>Yo', Anon! What's good?"

>"Pizza, man, I need a pie."

>The man known as Mario is wearing standard chef clothing and has a dark, curly mane

>"Just hang tight, Anon. Let me deal with the horses first."

>"No, no, she's with me."

>He lets out a deep laugh and kind of chokes as he breathes in

>"No wait, what is this, extra credit?"

>"Nah, she's a friend. A -reporter- even!"

>"Oh snap, am I under arrest by the fluff-ball police? Hahah!"

>"If you don't stop F-ing around, man..."

>"Alright, alright, what can I get you? Just so you know, we ain't got hay."

>You kind of don't get the joke, but he laughs anyways

>"No biggie... large pie with mushrooms and extra cheese."

>"Sure thing, be about 20 minutes."

>Anonymous pays and you sit down at a table for the moment

>A human looks at you suspiciously and you take this as a sign of possible conversation

>You quickly hold out a hoof to them and smile

"Noteworthy, columnist! Nice to meet you..."

>You try to lead them into giving you their name, but they stand up and walk to a farther table

>Fine by you, they're mane was ugly anyways

>Anonymous yells across the room to you in the corner

>"Hey! What do you drink?"

>You figure this is normal and call back

"Water, please!"

>The sound of laughter follows Mario while he walks to the counter and looks to Anon

>"Oh, man! Is this a date?"

>"Something like that."

>"I thought you of all people would swing towards... you know? People. At least women from Boston, at the very least!"

>You listen and grow steadily embarrassed

>Is this considered casual conversation?

>At any rate, you're getting kind of iffy staying here any longer

>Anonymous returns with two cups and two straws

>He passes you your water and drinks some kind of soda water

>You find yourself trying to be quiet and invisible, until Anon snaps you out of it

>"You ever have Coke before?"

>Anon passes you his cup and you look down at it

>You are here to learn and explore, now is good as time as any!

>Your lips wrap around the straw and you take a sip of your first Coke

>Almost instantly, the sugary drink fills your stomach with the finest of feelings and you smile widely

>"Figured you'd like that since you told me you like stuff like cupcakes."

>You don't listen too well as the drink takes hold of your senses and you finish the cup

>When there is nothing left, you slurp at the very corners to get any residual Coke at the bottom

>"You want me to get you a cup instead of water?"

>You look up with wide eyes and nod silently

>This must be what rainbows taste like

>Anon is quick with both of your cups and you drink this one a little slower

>It is so amazing and you can't help but feel you have missed so much until today

>"Glad you like it. Don't fill up on that stuff though. You'll feel sluggish all day."

>Nothing this delicious is ever good for you, but you can't stop

"This place is kind of nice after all..."

>The smell of delicious mushrooms suddenly hits your nose and you turn to see a steaming pizza sitting on the counter

>"Did you want to eat here or head to my place?"

>You look to Anonymous and then to the soda machine

"Lets... lets eat here..."

>"If you want, sure."

>Anonymous grabs the box and some utensils before returning to you

>« Bon appétit, ma chère ! »

"You speak French?"

>"Only what I've heard on TV."

>Anon grins slightly before offering you a piece of pizza

>You take a slice and admire how big a single piece is

>It must be because humans are bigger so they need more food

>That makes sense in theory, even if some of the humans here are smaller

>Upon taking your first bite, you realize that this pizza will be ruining the taste of all other pizzas forever

"Anon... this is fantastic... it's impossibly good!"

>"Yeah, it's pretty awesome."

>He munches through a slice with practiced grace as you struggle to eat just one

>You drink yourself silly on three more glasses of Coke before finally falling over in your seat

"So full... can't breathe..."

>A long, tired sigh escapes your lips

>Mario is suddenly beside you and staring down

>"So, how was the food?"

"The best, sir. By Celestia, I'm in love with these mushrooms."

>"Hey, good to hear! You should put my name in the paper. Maybe I'll even give a pony discount!"

>He laughs hard at the word before calming down

>"Discount... Haha. Oh, I crack myself up."

>"Thanks for being friendly, Mario."

>"What, are you kidding me? You're my best customer, Anon! How could I turn down your girlfriend?"

>Your ears perk at the phrase and you quickly look to Anon

>"What's girlfriend mean?"

>Anon looks across the table casually and shrugs

>"It's like, 'Special Somep0ny' for humans."

"Oh, haha... No, wait! We're not like that!"

>You wave your hooves at Mario quickly

>"Don't worry, Anon. I'm all about free love. Just yesterday I got engaged to my fryer, true story!"

>He laughs, but Anon seemed a little annoyed now

>His angry face kind of reminds you of guards who work at Canterlot Castle

>"Yeah, yeah, keep making jokes. Remember how tips work, Mario..."

>The chef is suddenly a little somber

>"Hey, Anon, you know I'm playing around, right?"

>"That's what I thought you were doing. But, we got to go anyways. I promised a full tour of this place."

>"Sure, sure, just stay away from Little Italy meat markets!"

>Mario's face turns red with choking laughter as he walks off

"What's that mean?"

>"Eh, I'll tell you later once you've forgot about it."

>The statement confuses you and you are sure there's a reason Anon doesn't want to say

>It is a short trip back into the car, but you do your part to get in and buckle up yourself

"I can't believe how much food we still have! What's up next?"

>"Not sure, not much scheduled for today."

>You pass by a street corner and see a human standing by a lot of small clothing

>A sign says, "Pony-Chic" and you question what that's suppose to mean

>From your window, you see a few ponies inside the store itself wearing clothes and playing with clothes

"Anon, you know why everyp0ny's wearing clothes?"

>"It's a thing here. This is NYC, fashion is popular. I don't think we've ever talked about clothes before."

>A nagging feeling finally makes you question your own body

"Am -I- naked here?"

>"What? Um, I think so? I don't know."

"I don't want to look like I'm out of place now... would give away my journalistic intentions!"

>Anon laughs

>"You are on vacation, remember?"

"A journalist's vacation, it's different."

>"I guess the question is, do you want to go shopping?"

>You fidget and shrug once

"Need to change my bits in for cash money."

>Anon holds out his wallet and it unrolls smoothly

>You see lots of different plastic cards inside

>"Pick one..."

>You look around and finally decide to take the green card because it matches your mane

>"A-Mex, good choice."

>You smirk, not entirely sure what you just did

>Anon drives around for a little while until finally finding a place to park

>Cars seem like a lot of work and you are glad you don't bother with one

>The store is big from the outside, even bigger when you finally enter

>So amazingly big that the humans have elevators and a type of stairs called escalators

>The escalators confound you; why would you have stairs that walk for you?

>A smell of fresh linen, wildflowers and cinnamon hits your nose

>You just have no idea where any of this is coming from when all you can see is clothing

>"So, Note... what do you usually wear?"

"I... have a hat with a number card in it? Mostly for media presentations..."

>"You never wear clothes?"

"Not really, no. I know humans have to, you explained that. Maybe, just look around?"

>"That could take a while. Tell you what, lets hit up the unicorn stuff first."

>You're a bit interested to learn that humans spent time making a line of clothing just for unicorns

>"Never been there before, but I'm sure there's something you might like."

>You both walk around the store and notice workers range from humans to ponies, leaning slightly more towards ponies and then even slightly more towards pegasus

>A large, hanging sign reads, "Unicorn 1-4" and another reads, "Foals and Fillies"

>You head into the unicorn isle and see rows of hanging outfits

>This area is slightly more colorful than the Earth pony section you passed

>Do humans think unicorns are brighter?

>Your train of thought derails as Anonymous starts laughing

"What? What is it?"

>He reveals an outfit to you that looks like a pink tutu with glittering dust on it

"Who in the right mind would ever wear that?"

>"Heh, no one in the right mind should!"

"What do the numbers mean on the hanger?"

>"Generic sizes, I have no idea how clothes work. Just wing it."

>You find a purple shirt with vertical black stripes and a pair of pants colored black

"This look like they would fit..."

>You stick your head into the shirt and straight it around your legs with your magic

>"Don't get-! No wait, maybe it is alright..."

"What's the matter?"

>"I was going to take you to the changing room, but you did walk in here without clothes on anyways... just stay the course."

>The shirt fits neatly and feels light and airy

>You step into the pants and lift them up your backside

>The tail hole is a bit too narrow for you, but you give it a try

>A waistband gets stuck at your rump and you give a hard tug with your magic

>Anon turns his face from you as you continue

>"Uh, that's probably a little small around your... assets..."

"I suppose... do you see a pair like this that is bigger?"

>You try to pull the pants down only to find that your tail and, surely evenly proportioned, bottom are stuck

>Another tug does nothing and you look to Anon quickly

"I'm stuck..."

>"How did you get stuck?"

"It doesn't matter, just... help me out here!"

>You back up towards him and his eyes seem to be plastered open

>"O-OK, just hold still, alright?"

"Hurry, I can't feel my tail!"

>Anon's cool hands soundly slip into your pants on either side

>It feels strange as he gives it a good tug downward and the waistband pops off

>Your rump feels cooler, either from the open air or Anon himself, and his fingers glide down your legs

>"There we go... not so bad..."

"What was that?"

>"Nothing! Just, um... thinking out loud!"

>You step from the pants and turn around

>Anon has a hint of color on his cheeks and you stare at him strangely

"What's wrong? Aren't you use to seeing ponies without clothes?"

>"Not really... also, that was kind of really close..."

>You never thought your boastful friend would be so bashful

>Surely, humans have to do this kind of thing all the time for ponies in need!

>You begin to rummage through the racks again until you come upon a pair of shorts made of some kind of soft denim

"Hey, Anon, do these looks nice?"

>"The hell? They sell Daisy Dukes for ponies?"

>Anon seems a little nervous to you, but you're not really sure why

>You hang the shorts back up and shrug

"Well, do I need to wear pants?"

>"If you want to, sure, wear what you like."

>You slip the shirt from your frame and hang it up somewhere

>It wasn't really as comfortable as it started out to be

"What would a journalist wear in this city?"

>"I thought you wanted to be undercover?"

"Well, I suppose... well, I need help here!"

>You must have trigger some alarm or maybe said the magic words because three ponies and two other humans suddenly appear at your location

>A unicorn in the group smiles as she looks you over and the other four plod away in defeat

>She stands a bit taller than you and has a two-toned mane of blue and pink

>Her eyelashes are curled and her hooves are so shiny

>You are kind of jealous that she looks that pretty, but you won't tell them that

>"Did somep0ny need help?"

"I did?"

>"Fabulous! My name is Tropical Berry, but you can call me Terri! What did you need help with today?"

"This is my first time on Earth and I don't want to look too suspicious. You have any normal clothes for normal ponies, such as myself?"

>Her eyes narrow on you and she sizes you up

>"Follow me!"

>Terri darts off in one direction and you need to trot to keep up

>She moves really fast for somep0ny with such finely polished hooves!

>"Here we are! This season, we have a great line-up from some of the biggest names in fashion!"

>Terri begins pulling clothing left and right and stacking them up in her magic

>"I think you'll look great in something that shows off a bit of tail..."

>She nudges your chest before looking up at Anon

>"... Your boyfriend'll surely think so."

"My... boyfriend?"

>Before you can follow up with yelling and correcting, Terri pulls you into a smaller room

>The world spins around you as her magic quickly pops the first outfit on

>You stumble from the dressing room and look to Anon

"How do I look?"

>You are wearing a short, pink skirt that just barely covers your butt and a white top

>"The question is, how do you feel?"

>A grumble erupts from you as you enter into the room again and change into the next outfit

"What about this? Hey, look!"

>This outfit is made of a pair of airy, blue shorts that cut off right above your haunches and a thin, but long-sleeve black shirt

>"Whatever you like..."

>Anon is starting to get on your nerves with his indifference

>You stomp into the room and put on the last outfit

>It immediately makes you feel peaceful and you look yourself over in the mirror

>A light green dress that ends a few inches above your hooves goes so well with the white T-shirt

>You step from the dressing room once more and Anon's eyes instantly fall on you

>"Oh, hey, that looks nice..."

>Your heart nearly flutters for the moment when you see he really notices you

>It is nice knowing that he is paying attention to you, nothing else, you try to think

"I think I'll take this..."

>Terri appears beside you with a frantic looking smile

>"Oh, good choice! Ponies usually enjoy this ensemble by Ralph Lauren."

>Anon's eyebrow lifts and falls at the name

>"That's really a Ralph Lauren dress?"

>"Oh, yes, Mr. Lauren just adores ponies. He has been making clothing for us for as long as ponies have been around!"

>"Go figure..."

>Anon shrugs a little and smiles to you

>"You look great, Note. It's like you've lived here your whole life."

>Terri nudges your flank once and whispers rather loudly

>"Oh-ho, you two love doves. Just try not to damage those new clothes!"

"We are -not- love doves..."

>You say with all the merit you think you can muster before walking beside Anon and rubbing your face against his leg

"Thanks for all of this."

>He seems a little nervous at your display of affection

>"N-no problem! What are pen pals for?"

>Terri makes a quick snorting noise

>"Snrk... Pen pals. You kids and your innuendo."

>You and Anon walk off to a cash register and pay for your new outfit

>The human at the desk says you can even wear it home, which is nice, but you don't think you'll wear it all the way back to Ponyville

>After all, you still have a week here with Anon!

>Stepping out into the world again, you take the time to study your surrounding

"Anon... can we just hoof it for a while? The car is kind of... not fun for me."

>"Sure, we're actually not too far from something I wanted to show you anyways."

>Anon and you begin walking down the sidewalk while cars pass you by

>There is a system here, but it is tricky to get down

>You stop when the little man in the pole says stop, but even when he says you can go, cars might still be driving by

>Anonymous is pretty savvy and you follow him closely

>The walk feels good on your legs and the new clothes change the whole atmosphere

>You feel like you could really live in a place like this if you tried hard enough

>The smell of the ocean suddenly hits your nose and you look around

"You smell water?"

>"Yep, coming up to a nice little spot now."

>You see a bridge stretch straight across the ocean in a marvel of engineering that could only have been built by ten schools of architects led by Celestia herself

"That's amazing... where are the magic bulbs that power the floating platforms?"

>"Do what now?"

"You know? The bulbs? They probably have a real name, I don't know it."

>He looks at you oddly for the moment before chuckling

>"We don't have magic here. This thing is made of solid materials like steel and concrete and such."

>You eye the structure again and wonder just how long this took to build without magic

>A sudden gust blows your skirt upward and you try to hold it down with a hoof

>Anon giggles a bit to himself at your frustration

>"Back up a bit!"

>You do so with some measure of success

>Skirts are tricky business on bridges!

>Anon walks towards some kind of large metal thing that is near an edge overlooking the water

>You follow him and he taps the machine a few times

>"You can get a good look over the water with this. Want to try it?"

>Anon pops a silver coin into the machine and you hear a click of turning gears

"I don't know... not seeing any better."

>His hands suddenly scoop you up from behind

>You are lifted off the ground until your eyes meet with the lenses of the machine

"Oh wow..."

>The beauty of the open water rivals that of any ocean you've seen back home

>There are a range of birds in the sky and a number of things straight ahead that remind you of boats, only much bigger than any in Equestria

"What a scoop! This is incredible!"

>"Glad you like it."

"What are those things in the water?"

>Anon dips you slightly lower so he can take a look

>"Whales? Probably whales..."

"You have those too?"

>"I guess so, yeah."

"Up! Lift me up again! I want to see more!"

>He does as you command and you enjoy the view for another minute or so

>The shutters close and the sound of mechanics turning interrupts you

"Times up, I take it?"

>"Yes, but not a problem, we got a lot of stuff for tomorrow."

"What kind of stuff?"

>"Not wanting to ruin the surprise, but, spoilers! Boat ride!"

>You've never been on a boat before!

>The excitement in you has reached a whole new level now

>Anon looks down to his arm at his time piece and sighs

>"It's starting to get late. We should probably head to my place and I'll make us some dinner."

"What about the pizza we have?"

>"Yeah, we could nuke it."

>You don't know what nuking it would do or what it even means, but trust Anon's judgment on this

>The sun hangs low in the sky as the time passes

>Walking through the city is incredible and you stare up at all the tall buildings

>Like towers, but towers on top of towers!

>So close to the clouds that you would swear they could scrape the sky

>That would be a good name for them, you think, cloud-scratchers!

>"What are you looking at?"

"Hmm? Oh, the tops of the buildings."

>Anon chuckles lightly and joking mocks you for being a tourist

"Hey, are you off work this week too?"

>"Yeah, took off the whole wee to see you around town."

"I kind of wanted to see what you did. I mean, it sounded great on paper. Anonymous the Veterinarian! Who'd have thought that humans were already inventing medicine for ponies before our worlds even met!"

>He laughs a bit

>"Well, we can certainly visit the clinic if you want. It is not really all that exciting. Your job sounds way more fun. I'd love to get to travel around and write articles about the people I meet and the places I see."

"It's a pretty great job, I'll admit. But, sometimes you go places that just stink. You might not believe it, but not everyp0ny is so friendly."

>"Nah, you don't say?"

>He beams at you and you can almost see the sarcasm drip from his mouth

>You make it to Anon's car and hop in for another ride

>The drive takes you from the heavily crowded city to a place a little more spacious

>You see green grass for the first time and the buildings spread out just a bit more than before

"Wow, this place is pretty. You live around here?"

>"Yes, not much further ahead. Going to be the brick house by the stop sign."

>Anonymous drives his car up a black paved hill and parks carefully

>Stepping out and looking around, you see the house in the gloomy light

"This place is kind of big... how many other people live with you?"

>"No one, this is my house."

>He leads you up a nice stone path and you admire the colorful flowers everywhere

>You sniff at a few pink hibiscus and smile at the fragrance

>"You like those?"

"Yes, they are lovely."

>"You can take one with you, if you want."

"Don't mind if I do..."

>You quickly snatch one in your mouth and chew merrily

>Anon sure knows how to grow some taste flowers!

>He stares at you quickly before shaking his head

"Oh, sorry, did you want one too?"

>"No, no, it's alright... I forgot."

>You swallow the delicious snack and look up at him

"Forgot what?"

>"Nothing... Hah, lets get you settled in."

>The door opens to the huge house and you walk in slowly

>It smells like lemon and wood and of human

>Definitely an interesting mixture, but not bad!

"So... you live here by yourself?"

>"Yep, why? Looks under furnished, doesn't it?"

"No, no, I mean, it's like eight of my houses put together."

>"Your whole house is as small as my kitchen?"

"Probably, yeah... Humans must really love big things."

>You go back to your original theory that big creatures need big things

>"Lets get your things up stairs to the guest bedroom. I hope you like down comforters."

>Up or down, comforters never really mattered

>You climb the large stairs carefully and find your room

>The bed is large enough for you and three friends to share and you spy a writing desk in the corner

"It's... beautiful..."

>"Great, you can hang up your clothes in the closet when you don't feel like wearing them. I do laundry every other day."

>Anon's place is amazing so far and you feel the need for a tour

"What about the bathroom? The basement? Do humans use basements? Why didn't I ever ask that in our letters? Do you have an attic?"

>"I do have a basement, but no attic in this place. the guest bathroom is across from your room."

>Anon flips a switch on the wall and you see the bathroom light up

>You need to remember that trick!

>"I bought a special seat for the toilet so you should be able to reach and use it just fine."

>That was kind of weird, but helpful anyways

"How different can human toilets be?"

>"Not very, but they are a little taller than most ponies can comfortably sit."

>You kind of feel self-conscious thinking about using Anon's bathroom

>What if you have to go and it smells extra bed and he says something?

>You begin to wonder how long you can hold it in

>"There's also a stool and grip bar on the sink with a new toothbrush and pony-sensitive toothpaste. I know it's not common for most ponies to brush their teeth, but I've met all kinds at this point."

"Thanks, but my dentists just checked me out and she said I'm doing good."

>He smiles and nods easily

>"Good, good. Want to head out back next? I could show you the yard if you want to get some stretching in while you're here."

>Now that sounds like a great idea to you

>Anon and yourself make it to the backyard in moments and you look over the fancy scenery

>There is a swimming pool in one corner that looks really nice with a wooden deck around it

>You know humans can swim very well because Anon told you all about his coworkers and how they had to, "Sink or swim"

>Human employment seems to be much more physical sometimes!

>Aside from the pool, these is a fairly large open area that you could run around

"Ah, that pool looks awesome! We should go in it tomorrow when it's sunny again."

>"It's pretty hot tonight, we could go in it now if you wanted?"

"Silly Anon, it's too dark to see where you're swim-"

>Anon suddenly brandishes a small black remote of obviously magical origins and presses a button

>The entire pool comes to life with lights and glows a faint blue

"Underwater lighting?! Now that's a story!"

>"I'm going to get changed into swimwear. Did you bring a bathing suit?"

"A what now?"

>"Lets make it our business to buy you one tomorrow."

>Anon vanishes into the house and you stand around wondering what he's up to

>He soon appears again wearing nothing but a pair of black shorts

>His shoulders are broad and he has a very nice chest, you think

>As he climbs the steps of the pool, you watch his bum in the most journalistic way you can

>Thank goodness you don't have wings right now

>"Hmm, you should take off those nice clothes. Would hate to get them wet."

"Too late..."

>"What was that?"

"I said you're right! Ha ha! Let me just go change into... nothing..."

>Keep it together, Note!

>You've seen pictures of humans without their clothes and Anon is no different!

>Well, you suppose he is real and not a picture in a book

>You take off your outfit and leave the clothes laying on a nearby chair

>Being without clothing does make you feel better for a bit

>Feels a little more like home and you triumphantly walk out into the warm night

>Anon is bobbing on the ledge of the pool and you don't keep him waiting

"Is it cold?"

>"It is kind of cool, but not bad."

>You shiver once so your fur rises and you throw your body in at once

>The shock of cool water on your warm skin makes you tingle everywhere and your tail ruffles

>Under the water, everything is pretty bright and very blue

>You see half of Anon before he ducks into the water with you

>It is almost unfair how much human skin shines when wet and you have to force the thought out of your head a few times

>You both breach the surface and breathe deeply before he looks you over

>"Maybe I should have bought something for your hair. Does it take you long to style it?"

"Style? What do I look like, a show pony?"

>"You -don't- style your hair? How does it get like that?"

>You shrug quickly and brush your wet mane to one side

"I wake up, wash it, brush it, and then go outside. I don't usually have time to style it or else it'll look much nicer!"

>"I think it's great the way it is."

>You feel a thump in your chest and dip half your face in the water

>It's weird, you think, that he always compliments you when you're so obviously a plain-Jane

>Not as plain as Vanilla Cream from work, but still pretty average!

"T-thanks... I really like your mane cut too..."

>It looks good for a human's head, you think

>Really good for Anonymous

>You feel your face get hotter as you think about it

>Anon doesn't seem to notice how hard you are blushing and instead looks to the sky

"What's up?"

>You tilt your head back and check to see for yourself

>"Stars are coming out. You can't see them in the city at night."

>The stars on Earth look very similar to the stars in Equestria

>Lots of white dots on a black canvas with not a whole lot going on

"I still have trouble understanding how you can have night and day without a princess."

>"Earth is based more on magnets then on magic."

"Magnets? How do they work?"

>"Don't ask me, I was sure they were the same thing for the longest time. In short, Earth spins around the sun and the moon spins around the Earth. It takes 365ish days for the Earth to go around the sun one time and only 30 or so days for the moon to go around the Earth."

"Equestria has it down to a science! Two princesses, one raises and sets the sun, one raises and sets the moon. So much easier that way."

>"It's amazing how that works. You unicorns are really powerful, right?"

>You puff out your chest and tilt your horn in a bit

"Oh, just about. We're pretty great."

>"What is your special brand of magic?"

"Glad you asked, my savvy friend! Not sure what other unicorns you hang around with, but they taught you well. My talent is reporting what I see."

>"How does that translate to magic?"

>Anon swims a little closer to you with a look of awe on his face

"Simple, I can project events I directly witness onto a flat surface so that anyp0ny could watch it with me. I'm the only unicorn I know who can do it."

>"That is really cool. Can you show me?"

>You nod and find the idea of Anon wanting to see your magic very endearing

>The side of the house closest to the pool looks good enough and you think about an event from this morning

>Your horn begins to glow a pale yellow before a beam fires at the siding

>A screen a few feet wide by a few feet tall opens up and shows you the events from this morning through your eyes

>You play back the moment you hop into the portal that lead to Anon's world and when you first see him

>"That is amazing! The point of view is kind of odd though... for me, I guess."

"Well, yeah, you silly giant!"

>Anon chuckles with you and splashes a little water in your direction

>You giggle and duck away before returning his splashes

>A small water fight erupts between you two and you laugh the whole way through

>Anon suddenly dives under the water and swims up to you

>You try to paddle away as quickly as you can, but he swims like a barracuda!

>He bursts from the water in a huge wave and squeal in parts fear and parts excitement

>Your horn reacts and shields your face with a barrier of magic

>"Hey! No magic in the pool!"

"We didn't make that rule! I can't swim as fast as you, so magic is fine!"

>You use your horn to twirl the water into a jet and splash Anon

>Another splash signals that Anon has disappeared beneath the water and you see him quickly speeding towards you

>This is so much fun, you think, as Anon emerges behind you

>You laugh from the splash and hear Anon's own chuckle before quickly turning around

>Without realizing just how close he was, your face smacks against his bare chest with a wet splotching noise

>You sit there for a moment with your face pressed against Anon's strong human body

>He doesn't move and you devise that moving first would be a faux pas

>His skin is cool on your own and you unconsciously work your whole body a little closer

>"Ha, sorry, guess I popped up a little closer than I thought."

"Y-yeah... Hah? How weird..."

>Anon pulls back slowly and his presence is replaced with lonely night air

>You snap yourself back to reality, despite that phrases being so wrong at this current time

>"Sorry... if I got too close..."

"No, no, it's fine... lets just... I think I'm actually going to get out. My hooves are starting to get soggy."

>Anon looks at you curiously and seems to be thinking really hard about soggy hooves

>It absolutely happens, just not right now

>You step out and shake yourself dry before letting your fur fall into place

>Your mane slicks wetly over one eye and you blow it out of the way

>Anon pulls himself from the pool and you turn to him

>You had something on your mind, it was going to be a great question

>Unfortunately, the moonlight hits his glistening body and he slicks his mane back slowly while flexing his arms

>By Celestia, this is difficult!

>No mare should ever have to be put under this kind of stress while on vacation!

>"Oh, hey, Note. You want a towel?"

"P-please..."

>Anon opens up some unforeseen compartment and quickly tosses you a towel

>He wraps one around his waist, to your relief and you wrap up your mane

>"Nothing like a good swim, right? Best exercise you can get!"

"Is that why I'm so hungry again?"

>Anon chuckles and enters his home through a glass door

>You follow in kind and find yourself that this entrance leads directly to the kitchen

>"What can I get you?"

"We still got pizza?"

>"Yeah, hang on. Going to throw it in the oven for a few."

>Anon slides about the kitchen with a smile on his face all in the name of pleasing you

>"Oh, you want to watch a movie? I remember you telling me you liked comedy shows."

"Is the theater open?"

>"Well, sure, but I mean we can stay here and watch a movie. I got Netflix."

>You don't know what that is, but Anon thinks it's something special

>He leaves the kitchen and moves to the living room

>There is yet another remote on the couch and this one controls a television screen

>The size of this TV is actually closer to the size of your bed back home

>It comes to life with the most realistic sound and vivid colors you have ever seen

>"Thousands of movies to choose from in hundreds of categories!"

>He holds the remote before you

>"Whatever you'd like, we can watch it."

>You slowly grip the remote in your magic and let the glow slide from button to button

"OK... lets see."

>You start clicking around while Anon disappears into the kitchen

>The first thing that strikes you as interesting is that some older movies from Equestria are listed on the channels

>Do humans enjoy pony films?

>You continue to browse for what feels like forever and find the burden of choice thrust on you again

>Humans make a lot more movies than you could ever watch, you think

>The next icon over lights up as you tap the remote and the preview of the movie appears

>A song plays first over a black background before a white blob appears on the screen

>The white blob is suddenly obscured by a red cancelling sign

>You see Anon enter the room wearing a black and green stripped pair of pajamas and carrying a pizza

>Anon steps in with a wide grin on his face and suddenly begins singing to the movie

>"When there's something strange/in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call?/Ghostbusters!"

>You burst into a fit of laughter, both with the movie and Anon himself

"What is this?"

>"Ghostbusters, classic film. It's pretty good if you want to watch it."

"Sure, why not?"

>"I think you'll enjoy it. Pizza?"

>You smell the delicious mushroom aroma and sigh happily

"Thank you for everything, Anon. Today has been so much fun..."

>You take a bite of the cheesy goodness and fan your mouth

>Terrible mistake to eat freshly baked pizza like that!

>Anon places a cup beside you and unveils a massive bottle of the delicious nectar of Earth; Coke-Cola

>You want to cry out in joy, but hot cheese scolds your mouth

>Anon pats the couch beside him and looks to you with expectant eyes

>A sip of soda helps pass the gooey, burning pizza and you blink the pain from your throat

>"You don't mind sitting next to me, right?"

"Hah, why would -I- mind being with my best friend on Earth!?"

>You climb up on the couch and find a cool spot against Anon

>He holds you closely as you watch the movie begin and the lights turn out

>Pizza, Coke, Anon... you wouldn't be surprised if you wake up right now from this impossible dream

>You jab yourself in the neck quickly just to be sure

>Nope, definitely awake!

>The movie comes and goes with you paying attention only when Anon seems to be excited about it

>As much as you want to watch, the feeling of pressing against Anon's body is too exquisite to pass up

>Perhaps you didn't want to watch a movie as much as you thought

>Regardless, you are as happy as you can be just snuggling with Anon in the most journalistic fashion you'd like to imagine

>Anon stretches out around you and you let out a yawn

>"We should probably hit the hay... I mean, go to bed."

>You flip your tail up and pet Anon's cheek

"Today was amazing. Think you'll have anymore surprises left tomorrow?"

>"My dear, Noteworthy, we've only just begun."

>Anonymous looks to you with brilliant eyes and his signature grin

>You etch the image into your mind and sigh

"I... I'm going to bed now... See you in the morning."

>You reluctantly leave his side and slowly walk up the stairs to your room

>Crawling into bed, you find yourself thinking more about him than ever

>He is just yards away from you now and it feels further than before

>You don't remember his letters being like this or his picture making you feel so vulnerable

>Is it wrong to feel the way you feel right now?

>You have heard and even seen pony and human couples, it could happen!

>A frustrated feeling runs up the length of your belly and back down to your tail

"Anon won't mind if I do this here... probably... I'll just clean it up, yeah, because that's what good friends do."

>You place a hoof to your eager sex and flash your magic at the wall ahead of you

"At least I've got some nice material to work with, heh."

>You replay the scene of Anon strutting about the pool before working through one of the most agonizing nights of your young life

>Sometimes, you need a little -you- time to start thinking clearly again

>Sometimes, you just need a little squeeze!