- >be me
- >be living at my older brothers place because I'm a poorfag
- >at least he doesn't make me pay rent
- >my brother was a pretty cool guy most of the time
- >he was a computer genius that work for a respectable company and made lots of dosh
- >dat money
- >my god, his entertainment den...
- >I had still kind of wanted to get my own place though
- >whatever, it doesn't matter anymore
- >we were playing on his xbox when it happened
- >(I still miss that 60" screen)
- >I told him that having it in the front room in the house was a stupid idea
- >his house was located at the end of the street
- >a drunk had come racing down the road in his car
- >something happened, he didn't make the turn
- >we were both killed in the resulting demolition
- >you'd think that that would be the end
- >that we'd end up in the usual place of whatever belief
- >you'd be wrong
- >the earliest memory after that is of waking up in a weird crib
- >It had looked like it was built out of twigs
- >but it was structurally sound in a way that only modern art could achieve
- >'that's odd'
- >I took stock of my surroundings
- >I seemed to be in a room of a sort of primitive building
- >The floor was just grass, but there were makeshift carpets too
- >at the side of the room were some hand carved shelves and a table
- >interesting wall decorations
- >It was like I was in some weird tribal hut
- >I was greatly confused and distressed, to say the least
- >one moment I was topping the leaderboards in Halo
- >the other moment I'm waking up in a strange and -ly large bed
- >what
- >Feeling a disturbance in the bed, I looked over at a mound of moving sheets
- >'awesome, so not only am I in a bed I've never been in before, but also with another person'
- >'please don't be a guy'
- >I crawled over to it and pulled the sheets back a bit
- >well, shit
- >I hope I don't get zebra aids
- >a zebra
- >I'm in bed with a fucking zebra
- >it's a guy too
- >ugh
- >That's when I realized that not all was as it should be
- >well, besides what I've said so far
- >I couldn't feel my hands or feet
- >my mouth feels weird
- >why does it feel like I have more than the medically prescribed amount of hair
- >I looked down at myself
- >'HOLY FUCK, MY HANDS HAVE BEEN BURNT OFF!'
- >Hyperventilating seemed like a very good idea at the time
- >after nearly passing out due to oxygen inhalation, I find that I feel no pain
- >why.png
- >gingerly, I lift my, er... non-existent hands
- > -inspect hans-
- >"I do not recognize the term 'hans'"
- >'damnit'
- > -inspect hands-
- >"you inspect your hands"
- >"it seems as if your hands are gone, anon"
- >'gee, thank you, brain; I could have never figured that out without you'
- >"you are correct"
- >Now that I have inspected my hands, I see that they were not burnt off
- >I actually have black hooves
- >'I cannot compute this. Brain, help me out here'
- >"..."
- >'Yeah, well, fuck you too, brain.'
- >waitasecond
- >I couldn't feel my feet either
- >I look at my feet
- >'HOLY FUCK, MY FEET HAVE BEEN BURNT OFF!'
- > ~prompt pass_out.exe
- >I must have been out for only a minute because nothing had changed
- >The zebra is still asleep in my bed and I'm still having a crisis
- >'Alright, now that that's out of the way; I must now find out why I am as I is.'
- >To clarify, my feet weren't burnt off either; they were just black hooves too
- >The reason I feel like I have more hair is because I do
- >My hair, or should I say fur, covered my entirety in black and white stripes
- >My actual hair, which is now a mohawk, is longer but is of the same type
- >I have a bigger mouth that I swear is a muzzle
- >And, in short, It seems obvious that I've become a Zuzzle
- >wait, wa- I mean I'm a zebra
- >I've been turned into a fucking zebra
- >As for why I'm here, I don't have a clue
- >Oh, and I have a tail too
- >The other zebra shifted again, bringing my out of my thoughts
- >So, I'm: a zebra, reasonably freaked out, located somewhere
- >what now?
- >'Meh, I'll just wake him up and get some answers.'
- >it's not a plan, but it's a perfect plan
- >I have to end up shaking him pretty hard, but I eventually bring him out of his slumber
- >He just looks at me with these incredibly huge brown eyes
- >Why is he just so gosh darned cute, like a newborn puppy-
- >I mean
- >he looked at me and uttered something that made so much sense, it almost cured cancer
- >"Wat."
- >Well, at least I presumed that he had said "wat"
- >It came out more like a "AAaa"
- "Hi."
- >"AAaa?"
- "Would you happen to know why I'm here?"
- >"AAaa?"
- "Is 'AAaa' all that you can say?"
- >"..."
- "..."
- >'Ok, then; note to self: babies can't talk'
- >'Now what?'
- >that answer was questioned as an Adult zebra had just walked into the room
- >"Did you have a good nap, my children?"
- >'ok, it's a female deducting from it's voi-'
- >'Wait.'
- >'Children?'
- >'As in plural?'
- >seeing as I was the only other person in here, she must have meant me
- >but she's not my mom and my mom isn't a zebra
- >adding this to my list of mandatory questions to ask
- >she walked over to the crib we were in and picked up the baby zebra
- >she wrinkled her nose?
- >...OH
- >now that is a powerful smell, let me tell you
- >"Oh, Amaranthus, you have made a stinky mess."
- >"Let's get you cleaned up then, yes?"
- >'Amaranthus, huh? That's an interesting name.'
- >'I shall call you Amar; for it doesn't sound as lame.'
- >'And also because I'm too lazy to remember it.'
- >anywho
- >where was I?
- >oh, yes
- >'why am I a zebra?'
- "Why am I a zebra?"
- >"I'll be over in a moment, Althaea."
- >did she mean me?
- >whatever, I'll figure this out on my own
- >lets see, what's the last thing I remember?
- >I was playing xbox with my brother
- >there was a loud explosion
- >then I'm here
- >...
- >explosion
- >d-did I...
- >am I dead?!
- >I'm dead
- >I'm DEAD
- >I don't want to believe it
- >but it's the only thing that makes sense
- >so if I'm dead
- >is this heaven?
- >nah, I'd be having a pizza orgy if that was the case
- >but it must be SOME sort of afterlife
- >a reincarnation maybe?
- >where I was reborn as a zebra
- >...reborn
- >that must mean that this zebra really is my mom then
- >I'm not sure if I should be worried that I'm taking this as well as I am right now
- >the zebr- erm...
- >my... mom had finished taking care of Amar and had set him on the ground to wander
- >"Alright, Althaea, time to get up."
- >she picks me up out of the crib and sets me on the floor too
- >we follow her to what I assume to be a dining room, probably for breakfast
- >Althaea, huh?
- >Why would she name me that?
- >It sounds like a girl's name
- >
- >
- >
- >
- >'oh...'
- >'OH NO'
- >'NO, NOT THAT'
- >'ANYTHING BUT THAT!'
- >I try to check for sure, but I can't because I'm wearing a diaper
- >'Ok, Al, calm down; maybe it doesn't mean it like that in zebra culture'
- >My mom sets us down at a table with what looks to be oatmeal in two bowls
- >Getting a spoon, she goes to feed me before Amar
- >"Here you are, Althaea, ladies first."
- "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
- >be a week later
- >I still can't believe I'm a female
- >but I've pretty much gotten used to being a zebra
- >not having hands is a pain though
- >everyday life so far is pretty simple
- >wake up, eat breakfast, go outside and play
- >the normal life of a child
- >well, as normal as you can get as a zebra
- >The country we live in is called Zebrica
- >Yes, that's just 'Africa' with zebra pasted onto it
- >Seriously, you walk outside and there's almost no obvious differences
- >the little village of our residence doesn't really have a name, it's just 'our village'
- >it's not that large, there's just a couple hundred of us
- >and if I look outside, I can see the now familiar savanna landscape that surrounds us
- >my mom brings my brother Amar and I to the local foal-sitters every other day so she can work without looking after us
- >she owns a shop that sells the potions that she makes
- >as a well experienced apothecary, she can create and sell medicine for almost any ailment out there
- >and even some that are not for illnesses, if you know what I mean
- >my dad works as one of the village guards who stay on the lookout for any predators that may attack
- >luckily they aren't that common here, but it's still good to be prepared
- >Amar and I were playing in the den with some neat wood-work toys when there was a knock on the door
- >"Hello Zecora! Welcome back, it's been far too long."
- >Oh, yeah; mom said that her sister was going to visit today
- >she was also a herbalist who lived over in the pony lands
- >the ponies don't get a lot of trade from the zebras so you can get a bunch of money that way
- >"Ah, sister, It's good to see you too."
- >"Of course I had to come when I heard the news."
- >"You had given birth to a daughter AND a son."
- >"Finally, after you had tried so hard and always had none."
- >I also found out that zebras have a natural tendency to rhyme while they talk
- >it doesn't mean that we can't talk normally, but it'll happen if you're not paying attention
- >"Isn't it wonderful? I was beginning to think it was a lost cause."
- >my mom talked to Zecora as she brought her to the room we were in
- >as soon as I saw her, I knew she was trying for the 'mystically mysterious' vibe
- >no one wears that many bracelets and neck rings if they don't have a fashion statement to show
- >the ominous cloak wasn't helping either
- >"This is Althaea and this is Amaranthus." My mom said, pointing to each of us in turn.
- >"Such beautiful children you have."
- >"Hello little ones, how are you today?"
- >"AAaa."
- "Hi Zecora."
- >well, that's what I tried to say; but because I was a baby, I wasn't able to actually talk yet
- >boy, it was embarrassing when I had finally figured out that anything I said wasn't exactly coherent
- >"Let me get a good look at you two."
- >she walked over and started examining us
- >and with a smile she foreshadowed our entire lives in one fell swoop:
- >"I can already tell right now, dear sister, that these two are destined to do great things."
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