- From now on this is where all my short stories are going to go because they don't warrant their own pastes.
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- >Twilight had been beaming with pride when she unveiled her project to Celestia
- >She had worked for months in order to prepare and perfect her spells
- >It was simple she had told Celestia
- >All she wanted to do was bring something from another universe to this one, just like how Anon was taken from his universe to ours
- >And all the tests she did went amazing
- >She brought through new creatures, new plants, new inventions
- >But when she tried to bring in something in front of Celestia, something went wrong
- >Maybe she was unlucky, maybe Celestia's presence tampered with her casting
- >Either way, I'm the only one left
- >I didn't go to Twilight's show, unlike everyone else
- >I could hear it from my house, near Twilight's library
- >It's unstoppable
- >It's indestructible
- >It's never ending
- >It's [spoiler]the smooze[/spoiler]
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- >You were browsing Twilight's library when you saw a dusty old book hidden behind one of the shelves
- >It didn't have a title or anything, so you opened it to a random page, seeing if it was worth checking out
- >The words were a bunch of nonsense; just letters bunched together in seemingly random order
- >You tried to pronounce them out loud
- >"eyy lawsd duh geym"
- >The ground beneath you began to rumble, and a huge crack splintered the wood
- >The earth itself opened up, like a carnivorous maw waiting to be fed
- >When you looked into the abyss below, the abyss didn't just look back
- >It screeched back, and began to spew forth things that most would only believe to exist in the worst nightmares of pony and human kind
- >As the creatures continued to pour out of the hole, they begin to look up into the air, one by one
- >They stretched their disfigured arms and hands to the sky and said "[spoiler]check em[/spoiler]"
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- >You were walking through Evertree Forest to Zecora's, as you had ordered some special spices a couple of weeks ago
- >You loved to cook
- >You were beginning to get worried for two reason
- >Its never taken you this long to get to Zecora's
- >And you've never been in this part of Evertree before
- >You also had the horrible feeling that you were being watched, but you saw nothing as you looked around
- >You began to quicken your pace, frantically looking back and forth, looking for anything that might be watching
- >You started running, not even bothering to try and see where you were going, changing directions seemingly at random
- >You were just about to collapse when you slammed into something
- >You looked up at what appeared to be a rotted and horribly mutilated man nailed to a tree
- >Large sections of his skin and muscle had fallen off, leaving just bone and nerves
- >He suddenly spoke
- >"Come closer"
- >You began to inch towards him
- >"Closer..."
- >You were almost next to him
- >"Now place your head next to mine, so that I may tell you the secrets of the world"
- >Your ear was so close to his mouth that you could feel the breath as it came out
- >The man says to you "[spoiler]Magic School when[/spoiler]"
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- >You work with Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner
- >She's always asking you questions, like what your favorite color is, favorite food, and more
- >One day she asks if you've ever been intimate with a pony
- >You grasp her head between your hands, and ever so slowly bring your face closer to hers
- >She begins whimpering and crying
- >You very slowly bring your face to her ear
- >You whisper to her, in an almost inaudible voice
- >"[spoiler]I would hug a pony non-sexually[/spoiler]"
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- >You've been drinking a bit, and were beginning to feel a bit tipsy
- >You decide that you'd rather not have to walk home drunk, covered in vomit, or both
- >It's pitch black out, and the only thing illuminating the road are the street lamps
- >A couple of street lamps up you spot a group of thuggish ponies
- >Deciding that you don't want to deal with them, you turn around and begin to head towards another path to your house
- >Before you can get very far though, something smashes into the back of your head, knocking you out cold
- >You wake up as somepony splashes water onto your face
- >You try moving your arms and legs, but discover that they are painfully bound to a chair
- >In front of you are the thuggish ponies from last night
- >"What the hell do you want!", you demand
- >One of the ponies gets his face right up to yours
- >"[spoiler]Shin pls go[/spoiler]"
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- >You were playing your old Gameboy Advance SP when you were transported to Equestria
- >Most of the ponies quickly became bored with watching you play the only game that was brought along: Dig Dug
- >Pinkie, however, would not SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT
- >"Can I play Anon?"
- >"No."
- >"Please."
- >"No Pinkie."
- >"Please."
- >"NO, Pinkie!"
- >"Please."
- >"Fine! You want to play it so fucking bad, here it is you insufferable cunt!", dropping the Gameboy on the floor
- >"Finally! I can't wait to play!", Pinkie nearly shouts
- >...
- >"What tragic irony.", she says
- >"No thumbs!"
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- >Pinkie has died in a freak cupcake baking accident
- >You were invited to the funeral, which was attended by hundreds of ponies, the princesses included
- >Most are crying, some are simply staring at the ground
- >You hate it when people are sad, so you try to lighten the mood
- >"So, [spoiler]Why the long face?[/spoiler]"
- >You are promptly trampled to death
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- When I was a summerfag
- My father took me to AiE
- To see a shitstorm
- He said "Son when you start posting
- Would you be the savior of the tripfags
- The shitposters and fags?"
- He said "Will you defeat them,
- your trolls, and all the non-contributers
- The ruses that they have made?"
- "Because one day I'll leave you,
- A phantom to lead you in the summer,
- To join the writefag parade."
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- Somep0ny once told me the shitposters are gonna roll me
- I ain't the sharpest poster in the thread
- He was lookin kinda dumb with his sage and his dumb troll comment in the thread
- Well, the words start comin and they don't stop comin
- Fuck the rules I'll just start shitpostin
- Didn't make sense not to troll for fun
- Your posts get hidden and the thread gets dumb
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- I opened up /mlp/ this mornin', don't believe what I saw
- Hundred billion waifu threads, stirring up a storm
- Seems I'm not alone in being forever alone
- Hundred billion waifu fags, looking for a home
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