Pogo's Bizarre Adventure

"Well, this doodie-head is STILL not going to let you have these candies."

>Pogo groans and scuffs the ground before turning around and crossing his arms and whining, "Why!?"

"Because they'll make you sick if thats all you keep eating."

>He turns back around with an expression of *I got you* "Ha, but mom eats all the candy she wants, and she's just fine."

>You give him your best stern father face and slightly raise an eyebrow to his so called "defense".

"I love your mother, but she is FAAAR from "just fine" and besides, I dont think your mom follows the basic laws of anatomy anyway. You know, seeing as how you are here and all."

>Pogo stomps his hoof on the ground in frustrated teen angst, "Ugh! Thats not FAIR!"

"Stomp, kick, and scream all you want, I'm not going to have my only son fuck himself over. As long as you live under my roof, its my rules."

>"Well then, maybe I'll get my own home, and then you'll see!"

>He stomps away as you sigh annoyed and hide the candy in the one place he wont look, behind the vegetables.

>In his room, Pogo packs up his stuff into a sack, and tosses it over his shoulder. Taking one last look at his pink room, he opens his window, and crawls out.

>Running and hopping down the different spots of the house, he lands on some carts, and walks off to his first hiding spot, Sweet Apple Acres.

 

>Applejack walks up to the door and opens it to see Pogo standing there, “H.hey Applejack, is it ok if I stay here for a while?”

>”Well sure sugar cube, are you and Applebloom havin a sleep over?”

>”Uh…no.”

>Applejack tilts her head, and looks over at his stuffed backpack before chuckling with that southern drawl and wraps a hoof around him, “Ah get it, ah went through the same thing when ah wuz a young filly. And just like muh aunt and uncle before me, ah’d be honored tah be yer host fer as long as ya need.”

>Closing the door, Pogo starts his new life with “cousin” Applebloom, and Auntie Applejack.

 

>You run around town screaming Pogo’s name, you never would have imagined he’d run away. But by god when you find him you’ll make sure he never runs again. At least, that is the big talk in your mind; in reality you’ll hug him tight before whooping his behind when you get home.

>Sweat, and fear course through your veins as you keep yelling.

“Pogo! Pogo!”

>Pinkie merrily skips along, and casually asks if anyone has seen him while showing a photo of him wearing an apron and chefs hat with cake batter over his cheeks and smiling.

>Nobody has seen him, and its starting to get you angry at everyone rather than just Pogo.

“Pogo!”

>Pinkie places a hoof on you to stop your trembling and smiles, “Its ok Anon, I’m sure he’s just fine. You know Pogo, he’d never leave 100 feet from the nearest bakery. And he didn’t take any sweets, so he didn’t hit the main roads, we know that.”

>You calm down some and try to control your breathing, Pinkie was right, that kid NEVER left town without packing at least a few treats. But where would he go if took nothing, but was still in town? It then it hits you.

 

>You try to not slam on the door, but your knocking was much firmer than usual. Applejack answers the door with her usual warm smile.

“Applejack, have you..”

>”He’s right inside.”

>You try to charge in, but AJ keeps you at bay, “Whoa there sugar cube, ah wanna talk to ya first.”

“I don’t care what he said, I’m only doing what any parent would do.”

>”Ah know, and yer a good father fer that, but, he is part pony, and we ponies have a different way of raisin our yung. Now, when ah was around his age, ah left the farm tah live with muh aunt, and uncle Orange.”

>You want to tell her to shut up, and go in there to see him, but you decide to hear her out. She was his godmother after all, even if she didn’t fully know what that meant.

>”Ya see, muh family tried tah force the Apple life on me, and like any yungin ah thought ah knew better. The more they pushed, the more ah moved away from muh true callin. Luckily, ol Granny thought it best fer me tah choose on muh own. So she LET me live with muh aunt and uncle, and ya know what happened?”

>Annoyed, you humor her with a miffed tone.

“…No, what?”

>”Ah never left tha farm again when ah got back. Ya see, if we let them graze where they think the grass is greener, they’ll realize it aint so green after all. Ah know ya have yer own ways, but ah think it could benefit Pogo tah see fer himself if it really is whut he wants.”

“….”

>You mull over her words and exhale to calm down, Pinkie places a hoof on you to reassure you before looking to AJ, “Well, if he’s not gonna be a burden on you, I’m ok with it. Anon is too, he just worries too much.”

“I get it from my mom.”

>Applejack laughs and hugs the two of you, “He wont be no problem at all, ah luv havin muh family over.” Breaking away, she raises her hoof “Now don’t you two worry none, he’s in the best of hooves with me, and we have plenty of room, food, and clothes tah share. He’ll be just fine, in the meantime, you two head back, take a load off, and enjoy a well deserved break from parentin. You jus leave the rest tah old Applejack.”

“Thanks AJ, for reals, I really appreciate you being so cool with everything.”

>”Whuts family for right?”

>The two of you walk away as Applejack closes the door, and heads to the kitchen. Pogo, and Applebloom and icing cakes, and pulling out pies from the oven before setting them down on a table littered with hundreds of them.

>Pogo looks over at AJ, “This is amazing! I’ve never seen an oven bake pies so fast! Not even mom’s oven can compare to it!”

>Applejack laughs heartily and walks over, “Funny story about that oven, there’s a little trick ya can do tah shave off some minutes from bake time.”

 

>After a long, and awesome day of baking pies, cakes, and pastries. Pogo walks up to the room they showed him, carrying one of each sweet they made. Setting them on the bed, he hops on and snatches a pie. Biting into it, he leans back and stares at the plain brown walls.

>It wasn’t pretty, but man, these sweets were amazing.

>Dawn approaches, and Pogo snores surround in a mess of crumbs on his bed. Suddenly the door gets bucked open as Applejack screams “YEEEEHAW! Rise and shine Pogo! Its time tah start work on tha farm.”

>Pogo snorts awake and looks to the sides in a panic before focusing on her walking up to the bed, “Huh?”

 

>Outside, Pogo stands slouched and miffed as the bags under his eyes sag. Applejack tosses him a pair of work overalls that thud on the ground and puff dirt around. Pogo looks down at them, and then up at her with a worried frown, “W.what is this for?”

>”Hmm? Why, its yer work getup. We gotta harvest tha north orchard today.”

>”B.but I’m not a work pony.”

>Applejack boops him on the nose and smiles, ”Ya are now.”

>At the north orchard, Pogo wipes the sweat from his brow as he pants winded. Looking around, he asks, “Where’s the water?”

>Applebloom kicks a tree, causing apples to fall in the basket, “Seriously? We just got here, ya haven’t even bucked a single tree.”

>Applejack kicks another tree, and rains apples down as she looks over to Pogo, “Water breaks er usually bout 4 hours in, but if yer mighty thirsty u can get some..” Pogo perks up hearing this, good old Auntie Apple… “in an hour.” ..jerk.

>Pogo groans and unenthusiastically grabs a basket, and tosses it by the tree. He raises a single hoof, and kicks with all his might. Only some leaves come down as he looks up to see the apples remain in place.

>Applejack loads up one of her many finished baskets and wipes some sweat from her face, walking over to where Pogo was, she doesn’t see him. Suddenly some leaves rustle above as she looks up.

>Pogo is laying on a branch and reaching for an apple, under his own weight the branch bends as he inches closer to the apple on the edge of the branch.

>”Pogo, ah don’t think that’s a good idea.”

>”But. I’m. Almost…THERE!”

>He tries to snag it, only to the have the branch snap, sending him falling forward and to the ground.

 

>Back at Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie and you soak in the tub together. You hold Pinkie on your lap as she reclines her body on you. Pinkie hooves up the wine bottle, and pours it into two glasses.

>You pick one up, as she picks the other, “A toast, to doing the first thing in our bucket list.”

“Here here.”

>Clinging to two glasses together, you both gulp them down and sigh satisfied. Off on the toilet seat cover, is a small yellow booklet with scribbling on it. The first line is crossed out and reads  “Have cheesy bathtub romance sex like in the movies.”